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Jonny Lee Miller, title character, Corporate lawyer.

Hmmmmmmm, there's something very wrong with this. I didn't believe it was possible to arrange words to read that way...

Damnit, Jonny....you were in Trainspotting. What the hell has happened to you?

1. I love and miss Pushing Daisies. BOO the Writer's strike BOO!
2. Re: Tom Cavanaugh- I watched and kind of enjoyed Love Monkey because of him. Him, and, of course, MONKEY.
3. Thank god John Larroquette is still getting work. He is seriously underrated.
4. "Panty-moistening"?? Wow- you dare use the Double-Whammy of Loathsome Words. Cool.
5. I'm thinking that Limp Bizkit's version of "Faith" might've led to an entirely different show.

That is all. Carry on.

OK, that is not all. One more thing- I now have Faith stuck in my head, as I have pretty much chronically since I saw the first ad for this mess.
OK. For real this time. That is all.

I thought it was "cute"...

Oh and George Michael has totally had an ass load of work done...

I'm skipping it. I didn't like Ally McBeal the first time it was on.

The only interesting thing about this show seems to be the review and the fact that "Faith" by George Michael came on the radio as soon as this page loaded. Followed by a little ditty by Roy Orbison. Not that that is interesting, but still a bit moreso than this show. Wasn't this guy one of the douchebags in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle?

Yeah. I hated this show. But I got to say... I hate "How I Met Your Mother" just as much if not more. I just can't take a half hour of cute back and forth banter and canned laughter. Just... Can't... Do... it....

What's with the George Michael love? All the shows are titled after his songs??? Does this mean he will be a regular character? So many questions, too many crazy answers.

The odd thing is that House respects medicine about as much as this show respects the legal system but gets away with it (by which I mean keeps me hooked) because the acting and dialogue is so good. I tried to watch this while snowed in to an airport hotel last week, just for Sick Boy's sake. I couldn't get past the stereotypical large Black secretary resorting to "MMhmm" as a comment on everything, the one dimensional blonde fiance and the kind hearted mother of the autist. THERE SHALL BE NO GREY AREAS IN THIS SHOW.
Also, of all the music of the 80s that one might try to shamelessly build a a show around in the hopes to capturing viewers who hanker after nostalgia for when they didn't have corporate jobs, George effin' Michael??? We laughed at him back then, why would we want to revisit him now?

Not that I was ever planning to watch this show, but after 47 promos during the one hour premiere of Lost, I swore that I'd never, ever, watch this show.

I understand that ABC doesn't have a lot going for it because of the strike and all and that they need to promote their new shows and the premiere of Lost is like their Superbowl, but there is a none-too fine line between promotion and over-kill.

Seriously, what ABC did with Eli Stone during that hour of programming was the equivalent of commercial waterboarding.

Yes, I'm not surprised this sucks.

Yes, Michael has had a lot of work done. A lot. And all apparently by the same guy who does Raquel Welch, because that's who he's starting to look like.

And, yes, I will watch it, because I'm constitutionally incapable of NOT watching something that Miller is in. Hmmmmmmm.

It is very liberating to cut way back on TV viewing and only watch the shows that you truly enjoy. I've grudgingly done this over the past 2-3 years, but am now so glad that I did. I probably watch about 7 hours of TV a week and am actually able to be a mom and a grad student at the same time. I would recommend it to anyone. The biggest challenge is replacing the older, not so great shows with newer, better ones, instead of just adding them into the existing queue. It helps that most cable station shows (that I watch) have very short seasons.

I definitely couldn't have done this without Pajiba though, for letting me read reviews of new shows instead of having to suffer through them myself to see if they're any good. Thanks!

Say what you will about both this and Heroes, but with Heroes gone, the panty-moistening factors on my TV are all but nonexistent, so I'll be watching this for now.

And yes I'm OK with the shallowness of that.

And on a related note, what would be the male equivalent to panty-moistening?

Brief tightening?

There's a chick in my office whose two least favorite words are "panty" and "moist." I don't get it.

And wasn't Johnny Lee Miller once married to Angelina Jolie?

"Hell, I endured all five seasons of "Ally McBeal" (yeah: Even the last one, with Jon Bon Jovi and Hayden Panettiere as Ally's adopted daughter)."

Wow, Dustin. I was a huge Ally fan early on, but as soon as Billy dyed his hair blonde and got a brain tumor, I jumped ship. Some of the later episodes (the ones I caught, anyway) were downright painful to watch. I agree with Cage and Fish being two of the best things about the show, but what about Jane Krakowski as Elaine? I thought she was hilarious.

By the way, is it true that those DVDs have not been released in the US because of copyright issues?

And finally - about the conflict b.s. in Eli: As an associate in a large firm that often faces conflict issues, I firmly agree with you. That. Would. Never. Happen. Eli would have had access to a shitload of information regarding the mean company and could arguably be barred from representing anybody suing the company, much less the VERY SAME PLAINTIFF that he was defending them against. Come on.

And wasn't Johnny Lee Miller once married to Angelina Jolie?

Posted by: Kolby at February 7, 2008 1:21 PM
--------------------------------------------------

Yup, he moistened them panties post-Hackers.

PS: I think "moist" should be worked into every other sentence. See how it just rolls off the tongue: MOISSSTTTT

It's just a series of fantasy sequences and enough obnoxious cutesiness to make "Pushing Daisies" (a show I like) seem positively hardboiled. Wow - puking at the thought (and I too like Daisies)

BSlim - I would go with zipper straining

The fact that Victor Garber is in this physically hurts me. i even watched and mostly enjoyed Justice because he was in it.

Oh Victor, you were freakin' Spydaddy!!

B Slim: My stomach actually lurched reading your last post.

That word is the devil.

BSlim...crotch enhancing?

Heheheheheheheh, this thread is making moist and I don't even wear panties.

I think the 47 MILLION promos for this show during LOST brainwashed me, because I went from complete un-interest (prior LOST promos) to deciding to tivo it... watched it this past weekend. I thought it was an ok waste of time, but maybe all the George Michael brainwashed me as well.

p.s. I adore both words being discussed. They make me giggle like Homer Simpson chasing a dog with a puffy tail.

Melody: I LOVE me some Spydaddy, Garber was so sexy in Alias. A man who can remove an eyeball with a spork makes my panties (gasp!) moist (ah!).

Julie, he told Marshall how to do it over the phone. I loved him more when he was fighting with Lena frickin' Olin.

That was Hot.

"Panties" doesn't bother me, but it's not as cool a word as "underoos".

back in high school our group had weird names for whatever random thing caught our fancy at the moment, and the name that squicked us out the most was "Moist Cake". So of course we said it constantly.

MOIISSSSSTTTTT CAAAAAAAKE

yes BS, it does roll off the tongue nicely.

John- But how do you know you're good in bed?
Fish- I'm always satisfied. Fishism.

I loved Ally McBeal, but I missed the 5th season. I should be glad?

Hee, poor Marshall. I love that episode so much. And ooh, Melody, that WAS hot...because Lena Olin was actually sexy enough to withstand the Spydaddy heat.

TT_marie: Heh. Underoos is a great word. Now I have the commercial for Huskeroos from Weeds running on a loop in my head.

Re: the male equivalent of panty-moistening... How about "trouser-snake-charming"?

(parenthetical much?)

Thank you for finally getting to this! Have you ever noticed that all ABC shows (barring Lost) have this masturbatory sheen of self-conscious quirkiness that is ironically, actually a severe lack of cleverness to most intelligent people that for whatever reason, subject themselves to ABC programming?

best Fish quote of all time:
"Let me tell you something. I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law; the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry? Yeah, we can do that."

I watched the last forty minutes or so of this pilot. It was not good. Inexplicably, my roommate seemed to be enjoying it.

I've barely noticed the strike yet. Ok, I'm missing Pushing Daisies, and I dread the end of Lost's eight episodes. But it seems as if the networks cleverly stockpiled enough new shows/episodes to create the illusion of enough scripted material to go around. Eli Stone, Terminator, Cashmere Lipstick Mafia in the Jungle...

Double "meh" with a side of "who gives a rat's ass", please. A show with this much of a quirk quotient is going to fizzle out fast, unless it really goes whole hog and takes the Pushing Daisies road to quirkdom.

And now I may have to add George Michael to my IPod road trip playlist.

Thanks, Rowles.

Whatever. I enjoyed the pilot episode. The second half more so than the first, but still...

Yeah, most everything about How I Met Your Mother is obnoxious and canned and entirely too predictable, but the irony of gay Neil Patrick Harris playing a womanizing, over confident, prick Barney Stinson gets me every time.

The Vicky Mendoza diagonal and the Hot/Crazy Line from this season was one of his best scripted moments.... and he loves The Price is Right....

"Are you kidding? TPIR is not just an insanely entertaining show, it's a microcosm of our economic system, a capitalist utopia where contestants are rewarded for their business accumen, fast reflexes, and unbridled enthusiasm. I look at The Price is Right, and I look at the face of America, and it is divine. Plus, you know, hot girls on sports cars."

Yeah, he's pretty much the ONLY reason I still watch that show.

Julie, as much as I miss Spydaddy, Marshall, and the rest of the cast, I miss the pretty that is Michael Vartan in a suit looking all official.

I love that episode.

Spydaddy: Do you see a weapon lying around?
Marshall: Umm...No..Wait, I have a spork!
Spydaddy: What is a spork?

I still like to pretend season 5 never happened or season 3.

So, at what point did J.L.M. go down in the flames of his own diagnosis?

katy: good work. I'm a graduate student with no T.V. or other responsibility, and school is still kicking my ass.

BRAIN TUMOR? Really? Oh my God, every frickin' soap opera on TV has used the BRAIN TUMOR gag as a way to justify characters acting nuts, murdering people, etc. Is Eli Stone also going to have an evil twin brother? Will his girfriend sleep with his brother and get pregnant and they'll have to do a paternity test? Will the test results be switched at the hospital by said evil brother dressing up as an orderly?

Because that I might watch. Otherwise, meh.

Ally McBeal? Pfft. I watched a fraction of one episode, and it unfortunately happened to be the last fifteen minutes of the one with the goddam dancing baby. When she started skeleton dancing with the abominababy and "Hooked On a Feeling" and, and... ooka-shakka, ooka-shakka...

Well, let's just say that was the FIRST time I tried to stab my own brain killing by shoving both thumbs in my eyes.

For gentleman? "Button-Fly Breaking Point"... Nah, fuck that. I prefer "Boner-City". A little juvenille, but straight to the point.

"Moist" is a word best used when describing cake or strewn entrails. Nothing more.

Wait, is he a defense lawyer or a prosecution lawyer?

Michael Vartan...oh yes.

Purple-Headed Warrior Salute? Or maybe Spandex-busting? Or, hows about Cyclops-rising...

What about Weiner Attack?

Penis Parade?

Dangerwang?

Erectoral Voting?

The Hunt For Red Schlongtober?

Update on the co-worker who shudders every time she hears the words "moist" & "panty" - one of my OTHER co-workers has printed up "MOIST" in giant, and I mean HUGE, letters and taped it to his cubicle wall, in full view of the entire office. I'm very proud of him.

Kolby, that has made my day.

Kolby - why doesn't he just skip all the namby-pamby bullshit, pick up an extra-large pair of grannie-panties on his lunch break, and everyone in your office can be on "mist-duty", thereby ensuring that them britches remain soggy?

That'll make her day...

I christen this:

The Moistening Thread

Saw the promos with George Michael singing and said "Wait, is Viva Laughlin coming back?"

So no, I will not be watching it.

Now, as to the shows that'll survive the post-strike culling:

- Galactica (last season anyway)
- House (can't help myself)
- Reaper (Only because of Ray Wise's Devil)
- Life (I really got into this. May replace House for quirky, genius show).
- How I Met Your Mother (it's on the fence though)
- Supernatural (ditto)

That's 5 1/2 hrs.

So long Heroes. Au revoir Chuck. Kiss my ass, Family Guy.

I tried to watch this after Lost, figuring I had already been tricked into that awful recap (2 hour even my arse)

The narrative drove me to turn the show off before the stupid premise ever could-- the nonsense about worshipping Armani and power or some such cookie cutter crazy.

I made it 22 minutes before switching channels. To say that i found reruns of Barney Fife and Opie a better option kinda says it all.

I tried to watch this after Lost, figuring I had already been tricked into that awful recap (2 hour event my arse)

The narrative drove me to turn the show off before the stupid premise ever could-- the nonsense about worshipping Armani and power or some such cookie cutter crazy.

I tried to watch this after Lost, figuring I had already been tricked into that awful recap (2 hour event my arse)

The narrative drove me to turn the show off before the stupid premise ever could-- the nonsense about worshipping Armani and power or some such cookie cutter crazy.

Re the male equivalent of panty-moistenig, we always referred to it as a "brain tumor". Somewhat apropos for this thread, don't you think?

Erectoral voting, penis parade- very nice! I do love a parade.
"Moist" and "panty" are fine together. I only hate "crusty". It's an unforgivable word, except for with bread or "k" with "Klown".

I will never allow anything to compromise my love for "Father Figure" and "One More Try", so I will definitely be avoiding this.

When will there be an episode where Eli feels that the only way to do his duties is to have kinky sex in the men's bathroom? Call it "I Want Your Sex" Whoa, screw the writer's strike, just have me write Eli Stone. Freakin Genius.

Moist

Victor Garber, why are you in essentially the same role as Alias? Father working with daughter, suspicious of the boyfriend? Really? I like you. Please choose better roles.

Moist & Crusty are, like, polar opposites.

C'mon man, it was an aneurysm, not a tumor. Okay, who cares.

I thought Johnny Lee Miller was adorable and tried really hard to sell it--I liked the scene where's he's talking to his father's ashes and one sherpa says to the other "I have to call my father!"; and in the scene where he's diagnosed I thought he was really good.

But yeah, everything else about it kinda blew. The woman playing the kid's mother stank up the place, that kid was about as autsistic as I am, and why Sassy Paralegal hated the fiancé was a total mystery. I heard the original unaired pilot was much better. Stupid network suits putting their grubby mitts all over everything.

I guess it hardly matters, as we all know this show is going to get cancelled by St. Patrick's Day.

I didn't think it was terrible, but it was pretty damn mediocre. I'm going to give it a couple more tries, though, because I find that Berlanti has a habit of kicking it up, like, ten notches after a couple of episodes of a new series. It has happened to me with every series he's ever created; I was "meh" on them at first, but then grew to love them.

Plus, I just can't shake the Sick Boy love.

Aw, I thought it was sweet. Surely there's room for a 'sweet' show out there.

I thought it was decent, but where SpyDaddy leads, I will follow.

Ok, so the gnomes in my head made me say this: the masculine equivalent could be zippercrasher. As in, "True zippercrasher Angelina Jolie was seen in Djibouti this past weekend".

yeah i watched about five minutes of this show just because i hadn't changed the channel after lost...and yeeeeeesh...awful. it had more forced quirk than six Juno's strung together. yucky.

I'm liking zippercrasher

Funny how "moist" is a word that makes everything sound paradoxa paradoxica unexpectedly dirty. You come up with "moist toothbrush" or "moist popsicle", which are natural, mundane things, but our brains are programmed to redirect them to the (usually much bigger) porn section.

"Moist typewriter".

See?

Hehehehehehehe

Moist Pajiva...or, My Pajiba is moist.

I never particularly liked George-Michael/Wham, but their songs do tend to get stuck in your head. It took all week to get "Faith" out, and now it's stuck in there again. However,I hated "Wake me up before you go-go." I use to call it "Turn that off before I barf-barf."

Yeah, this show is only low-level mediocre, but I couldn't face a rerun of the geriatric hour that is "ER," so I watched it. I guess I'll watch it again since it's opposite "Lipstick Jungle" tonight.

I started to watch this show last Thursday night after the Lost premiere but left it somewhere in the middle because there was something better playing on Turner Classics. I think it was "Portrait of Jennie"; that was the same night they had "The Enchanted Cottage" on before it and I kept switching to that during the commercial breaks for Lost. "Cottage" actually was also better than that episode which was nauseatingly Hugo-centric. The only reason I watched Eli Stone is because Miller is the limey version of Neil Patrick Harris: two tall skinny aging blond twinks with whom I wouldn't mind being the filling to their sandwich. This show is set in San Francisco but the hero (and apparently everyone else in the main cast) is straight. It's a piece of shit with no reason for existing as far as I'm concerned. Bring back "Invasion" -- at least its evolution of a new human species concept was fresh.

As a San Franciscan the depiction of the city is painfully misrepresented (i.e. it looks more like San Angeles, and apparently the sun sets behind Coit Tower in the North East? Some hallucination!) as is the legal system. Is it like that for other shows like CSI and Law & Order? Me thinks not!

So, I agree, this show is really bad, I mean really bad, but Jonny Lee Miller is so damn endearing I may actually keep watching.

Dear Jonny(cute)Lee Miller, please tell me you are renting?

How can you argue that "Will It Float" holds no suspense? Grinder Girl could deal a world of hurt to Hula Girl.

I am Dave Letterman's bitch.

I just can't believe some got paid for writing this monstrous pile of shit.

One of the many, many things I love about this site is that I get warned about the existence of crappy shows before they ever get picked up for airing here in the UK, so I know not to even other wasting my time on them. Thank you, Pajiba - you're leaving many hours of my day free for DVD-collection-alphabetising and for the collection of the internet's most boxer-tenting pornography.

I am confused. I thought corporate lawyers are involved in corporate matters and perhaps corporate related litigation? Tort defence attorneys would be doing the work Mr. Stone is purportedly doing in the show. But what do I know, I am only a defence attorney.

I just wish Hollywood would hire consultants so that the shows actually made sense.

Anything with George Michael in it is fine by me, he still has it, oh yes he does :)

Does anyone else think Eli Stone is just Ally McBeal except as a man and with a brain tumor?

I really liked this show. I think it is a unique twist on the whole I need to change my life. Some of the visions are kinda shake your head. But overall I like the reasons behind them and the fact that his father also saw the future is great too. Overall I am going to be bummed if they don't pick this up. In a world full of mindless TV this actually hints at a higher power or God at work doing things thru people. But unfortunately most tv shows like this get canceled early or wont make it past the second season.

Like shaun above me, I really enjoy this show, too. Professing my love for any amazingly quirky TV show means their ultimate untimely death knell, though.

See:
Wonderfalls
American Gothic

I am so glad to see this review. For the life of me I could not believe that this show was on TV, because it is horrible. And are you sure that Jonny Lee Miller is not gay, he is so prissy. Thank goodnesss ER is back.

I think Eli Stone is very refreshing. My husband and I look forward to watching Eli every week. It's light hearted and a very funny comedy. The show is never boring and we really enjoy the great story line. We hope that the powers that be will allow the show to have another season!!!

June

Get over yourself and enjoy something non-Ithaca, Skippy. It's fun!