Eagle vs. Shark vs. The Lazy Man's Metaphor
Eagle vs. Shark / Henry Hobbes
Fuck Napoleon Dynamite. Ah, that felt good. I wanted to start (and perhaps end) my illustrious Pajiba movie reviewing career with a bang and now that the deed’s done we can proceed along in a much more reasonable manner. That’s years of Oprah book club o’ the month reading in action for you folks. If you will it, it is no dream.
But back to the lecture at hand, a little movie called Eagle vs. Shark. The reason I’m going after Heder and Co. right off the bat is simply because everyone is comparing this movie to that one. I’ve seen at least five reviews reference Napoleon when discussing Eagle vs. Shark (and I guess mine makes six), but this is a stupid comparison because they are two very different animals, and you’d find as much relevance in comparing Eagle vs. Shark to Fargo or Punch Drunk Love. The only thing all of them have in common is that they’re different from cut and paste screenplays — so evidently certain pea brains don’t know what to do with them. This is not New Zealand’s answer to Napoleon Dynamite, and why the hell would a whole damn nation need to answer such a film anyway? Wouldn’t they first want to tackle the heavyweights that are crying out for answers; films like Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous? Furthermore Eagle vs. Shark is truly funny, while Nappy only has moments of humor wrapped around the overall concept of quirkiness. Eagle has a romantic angle, Nappy has a dancing angle. So I don’t think that if you liked/hated Dynamite you’ll automatically like/hate this. They’re far different movies, and let’s all open our minds and reflect that this one deserves a chance based upon its own merits.
Eagle vs. Shark is the story of Lily (Loren Horsley) and Jarrod (Jemaine Clement), two Kiwis who become smitten with each other. Perhaps smitten is too strong a word as neither are traditional leads with the overarching emotional transparency needed for something like smitten requires. Both of these characters are oddballs. They’re the people that the real romantic leads (think Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt from The Mexican) realize they never want to become and so they might as just well make this “happily ever after thing” work out. They’re Zooey Deschanel, the girl behind everyone and just off to the right out of focus. Lily starts the movie as a cashier for a lovely satirical mall burger chain named Meaty Boy. Jarrod works at an Electronics Boutique style store.
As you can probably guess, they meet and the story wobbles along from there. That’s the only real complaint I have with Eagle vs. Shark — the overall meandering factor. As the director (Taika Cohen) feels no real allegiance to the romantic comedy genre he pretty much throws in what he wants. Most really works, the occasional minute or two doesn’t. You’ll get some loopy stop-motion animation and a bit of attempted symbolism that really isn’t symbolic. The punch lines are far more subtle than anything mainstream, and only about an inch away from reality. It is interesting to note that certain comedies are headed this way anyway, something like Knocked Up doesn’t shout in the same way as The Wedding Crashers but instead of riffing on a topic like “schmabortion” the characters themselves in Eagle vs. Shark are funny to watch. One of the great lines from the movie is “I’m too complex!” It’s said with full confidence; there’s not one shred of irony behind the delivery. I won’t tell you who spouts it, that’s spoiling, but it’s a prime example of the laughs to be mined in leering at goofballs.
The other great thing about Eagle vs. Shark is that it is completely unpredictable. When you’ve got a loose cannon director and a budget around 35 cents you’re not beholden to anything even resembling marketability. You can do what you want. Taika does, to his credit, and some of the best moments of this film are when you have to watch in horror at the action unfolding. Comedy comes from zigging when a zag is expected and this one is all zag. So just enjoy it, you’re not meant to “figure it out.”
If there is one thing that Heder’s Napoleon has in common with everyone in this movie, it’s the overall awkwardness factor (but again, Little Miss Sunshine, Rushmore, find some new analogies you bastards). This is a movie worth buying a ticket to, if only so you can feel cooler than the other kids at school. While they’re off quoting Ocean’s 13 lines you can rest content in knowing that none of the stuff you might quote would make any sense outside of the movie’s context. After all, isn’t real “hep catness” not based on any particular need to feel cool? As Lily her own self opines on a conceptual candle derided for having the audacity to be made in the shape of a hand: “Well, I fink it’s cool.”
Henry Hobbes is a freelance reviewer just looking for a good home. He gets down on the west coast, home of the Pacific Time Zone. You can email him here.
Come Sail Away | | Pajiba Love 06/18/07 |
Comments
Welcome, new reviewer! And a fine one out of the gate.
(If that's your real name, I welcome you even harder.)
Posted by: Ranylt at June 18, 2007 2:43 PM
Freelance, eh? No kidding.
Posted by: lickitgood at June 18, 2007 2:55 PM
Wow, nice review, and welcome. Hope this will be your new home, even if I am insanely jealous. You have my dream job and I'm still slinging liquor in Post Katrina NOLA.
Posted by: isabelle at June 18, 2007 3:12 PM
Furthermore Eagle vs. Shark is truly funny, while Nappy only has moments of humor wrapped around the overall concept of quirkiness. Eagle has a romantic angle, Nappy has a dancing angle.
For a moment, I thought there was actually a movie called Nappy. I was going to find it, watch it, and giggle and sob into my Ben & Jerry's. Because I am having serious hair issues right now, and I need some support. I know I should be thankful that I have hair, but some days its thickness and tight curls make me want to cry.
Posted by: Bianca Reagan at June 18, 2007 3:24 PM
Henry, can you just make a list of quotable lines from the film so I can sound like I saw it? I don't know if I'll be able to fit this one in between the new Die Hard, DOA, and National Treasure 2.
Posted by: Manny at June 18, 2007 3:31 PM
Yeah, everyone has been comparing this to ND, but I hoped it was not.
By the way, welcome, if you keep writing reviews like this, we'll be glad to keep you around.
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at June 18, 2007 3:40 PM
Manny, save me a seat at National Treasure 2. I've been waiting for 2 years for that one!! Woot!
Also, welcome Henry Hobbes!
Posted by: Kolby at June 18, 2007 3:49 PM
Welcome, dude.
I mostly like your review, because it tells me things I want to know to help me decide whether or not I'd like this film.
But, dude.
Get someone to proofread your stuff before you post it. You've got phrases up there I can't make heads or tails out of. You've got commas where you should have periods.
I'm not trying to be mean, I honestly am not (I emphasize that because sometimes I do try to be mean. But this is not one of those times), but did you maybe post your first draft by mistake?
Posted by: Jerce at June 18, 2007 4:08 PM
Welcom Henry! Very nice first review and I look forward to reading more. Manny... don't frighten me with tales of the new Die Hard and National Treasure 2. It' just makes us more concerned about your sanity!
Posted by: Lauren at June 18, 2007 4:28 PM
Great review, but I'm a little confused. They're the anti-Julia Roberts Brad Pitt characters who are not trying to live happily ever after? What exactly does this say? That Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt are trying to live happily ever after? Because The Mexican blew and I hated it so much and it was so completely unrealistic and awful...I just can't go on. Can someone please explain?
Posted by: Rachael at June 18, 2007 4:34 PM
Lauren, if you've seen the video you would know that my sanity is no longer in question. As far as Die Hard goes... I was raised on John McClaine and Indiana Jones, so I'm under contractual obligation to see the new DH.
Posted by: Manny at June 18, 2007 5:08 PM
Welcome. I'm so tempted to launch into a bunch of jokes about how you must have a Hobbesian approach to life to have beaten out so many others who would love to review for this site and how Glengarry Glen Ross is surely your favourite film of all time. But I'm sure you've heard them all before.
Posted by: PaddyDog at June 18, 2007 5:41 PM
Does anyone know when this is getting a wide release?
Or if that will ever happen?
Posted by: Meredith at June 18, 2007 6:20 PM
Thanks for the review! I think I understood your basic ideas, but I was also confused a couple of times. I don't want to sound all high-school-english-teacher, but there were run-ons that really made some sentences confusing. And at least one sentence flat out didn't make any sense (to me, at least). Anyways, I got your ideas, and I liked your humor, so, um, You Go Girl!
Posted by: Vince Noir at June 18, 2007 6:49 PM
This was a terrible review that lacked that "pajiba-punch in the cunt" humor I look forward to when visiting this site. Your new, nice try, but sorry to say sir, you get an F!
Posted by: travka79 at June 18, 2007 8:08 PM
I know Manny... I understand too... I was raised on it all too. But what could your defense POSSIBLY be for National Treasure 2?? Please say you jest!! Nick Cage is just continuing a downward spiral that only seems to be painful for his viewing audience (otherwise, why would he keep making these craptastic movies?!).
Posted by: Lauren at June 18, 2007 8:34 PM
"pajiba-punch in the cunt"?
Ow....
Posted by: Kate at June 18, 2007 11:03 PM
This was a terrible review that lacked that "pajiba-punch in the cunt" humor I look forward to when visiting this site. Your [sic] new, nice try, but sorry to say sir, you get an F!
That sort of comment is a rite of passage, dear Hobbesian Henry. Consider yourself lucky that they didn't lull you into a false sense of security before beating you mercilessly. This is harder than it looks, so hang in there.
Posted by: agent bedhead at June 18, 2007 11:23 PM
This was a terrible review that lacked that "pajiba-punch in the cunt" humor I look forward to when visiting this site.
Um...really? Does Pajiba punch in the testicles too?
Posted by: bonnie at June 18, 2007 11:58 PM
nobody who reads pajiba has testicles. we don't usually admit it, but we're all bitches.
Posted by: ken at June 19, 2007 2:11 AM
It took three words for you to earn my man-love.
Posted by: Deviant at June 19, 2007 2:45 AM
I'm looking forward to seeing this movie not only because of Hobbes's review (despite some of the grammatical errors), but also because of the amazing SHARK costume in the photo above. I really want one for Halloween. Does anyone know where I can get it?
Posted by: JKo at June 19, 2007 4:40 AM
I am also under cultural obligation to watch the new Die Hard movie. However, it's more about the presence of Justin Long. It's always about Justin Long. Although the usage of Ode to Joy in the trailer did get me stupidly excited the first (several) time(s) I watched it. Moving on...
As far as this review goes: hey, anything that begins with that first sentence gets my vote. The movie sounds like my kind of thing, once all ND comparisons had been debunked. Hopefully it'll actually see cinema screens on this side of the pond or I'll be forced to obtain a copy through more nefarious means.
Mmmm nefarious.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at June 19, 2007 7:59 AM
I just can't believe I received an F! I think that's the first failing grade I've had since math class.
Posted by: Henry Hobbes at June 19, 2007 9:59 AM
Punch In The Cunt. Dreadful phrase.
Punch In The Testicles. Better than Testicles In The Punch.
Henry Hobbes, you have won my loyalty and praise.
An A+ to you on your first assignment and I trust we can look forward to many more reviews, scathing and otherwise.
Posted by: Spender at June 19, 2007 12:35 PM
Ok, I did really enjoy Eagle vs. Shark. It was a sweet and quirky film. But, come on. If I remember correctly, at one point Jarrod actually utters the line, "The eagle is pretty much my favorite animal." How is that not comparable to Napoleon Dynamite??
Posted by: Christina at June 19, 2007 1:06 PM
The first three words of this review made me like you immediately. Welcome aboard! I look forward to your next review.
Posted by: Claire at June 19, 2007 1:34 PM
Anyone that uses the phrase 'punch in the cunt' doesn't deserve the right to critique a critic.
Posted by: Mary at June 19, 2007 1:38 PM
Having seen this, I have to say that the Napoleon Dynamite references are apt. I think you're missing a very big similarity, and that's in the deadpan delivery of the main character, even as he says things that are wildly incongruous. While the films they are in may differ, it's easy to imagine the two of them running across one another, stopping and staring in awkward recognition at each other's bad hair, "unironic" t-shirts, and geeky dance moves. To me, Jarrod is a grown up Napoleon, and to that I echo your sentiments with a "Fuck Jarrod."
Don't get me wrong, I found a lot to like about the film, notably the main character Lily. Problem is I didn't see why she would put up a fight for this guy. Okay, she's no Julia Roberts, but there's a lot of men between Brad Pitt and this loser.
Free Lily!
Posted by: medusa at June 19, 2007 1:58 PM
Just kidding about the National Treasure reference, Lauren. Although I'm sure I'll Netlfix it at some point.
Posted by: Manny at June 19, 2007 2:37 PM
Just kidding about the National Treasure reference, Lauren. Although I'm sure I'll Netlfix it at some point.
Manny, it's all well and good (and laudable!) to be a lover of B-movies, but we must have some standards, old sock, yes?
Posted by: Ranylt at June 19, 2007 4:37 PM
Jemaine Clement is also one part of the (4th) most popular folk duo in New Zealand, the Flight of the Conchords. I've enjoy the Conchords for a few years now, and I even wasn't completely turned off by the HBO pilot. He's got to be funnier in this than he has been in the Outback commercials, anyway. I look forward to seeing this movie. I just hope Jemaine/Jarrod gets to sing "Business Time..."
Posted by: Tony at June 19, 2007 5:01 PM
nice review
Posted by: al at June 20, 2007 3:24 AM
Mary, you are a goose. Commenting in a website that uses the word 'bitchy' in its title disinherits your right to criticise another for using a phrase containing the word 'cunt'. Let's bring it back for Shakespeare (or cows), cunts.
Posted by: Peter at June 20, 2007 4:00 AM
Tony, you've probably identified my underlying issue. I tried watching "Flight of the Conchords" but found it dull and flatly unentertaining. I guess I'm just not a fan of Jemaine's "style," whether it be as an actor or a comedian. (Don't even get me started on the music. My close captioning helpfully identified one note as "falsetto" as if all the notes before were not full-on Minnie Mouse mimicry.)
Posted by: medusa at June 20, 2007 7:43 AM
Peter, you are a cunt. People are not taking exception to the use of the word cunt but to the awkward and silly phrase "punch in the cunt."
It's not because it's un-PC; it's because it's...well, dumb. It's un-pretty English. Try again.
Posted by: Jerce at June 20, 2007 11:20 AM
i've been looking forward to this movie for weeks. today i found out it's not playing in my city. i'm heartbroken.
Posted by: rx at June 21, 2007 5:06 PM
I saw (and met!) Flight of the Conchords at the Edinburgh Festival in 2004, before Napoleon Dynamite came out, and I can attest that their "style" is legit and not copied from ND.
Sorry, but I also didn't think that this review was of the same caliber as what I'm used to here.
Posted by: gram at June 22, 2007 7:02 PM
