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For the Procastionators, the Shut-Ins, and Me

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under DVD Reviews | Comments (104)



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When Dustin asked all the writers to put together their top ten films of 2010, I was a bit hesitant.

“Should they be films released in theaters in 2010?” I asked.

“Of course, you ignorant carbuncle,” Dustin said.

“Well that gets me seven, but what should I do about the last three?”

(Actually this conversation never occurred in this manner. It was far more abbreviated, less eloquent, and via email. But it’s far more dramatic when recounted this way, don’t you think?)

I watch a decent number of films each year, though nowhere near the prodigious input of Dan, Brian, and Dustin. A hundred and fifty films each! Two hundred! They went to the theater more times than I went to the bathroom. See, part of the problem is that theaters have some truly loathsome qualities. They are expensive, frequently contain people, and are outrageously hostile to a cup of coffee. Top off those negatives with the ease of the little red envelope in the mailbox, and the end result is that I rarely find myself in a theater unless I get to review one of the new releases for the week. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to the movies and writing reviews, but if I’m not going to write a review I’m just stubborn enough to wait for the DVD in the mail. My reaction was reflected in a lot of the comments in the Top Ten of 2010 post that the list made an excellent Netflix list for the coming year.

So after Dustin finished beating me - and this wasn’t just because I said I hadn’t seen enough movies to make a top ten list, Dustin believes in beating all of his writers regularly because “blood in the urine puts fire in the writin’” - I jokingly noted that due to my Netflix dependency I could give a great and monumentally late “Top Ten Films of 2009” list. He loved the idea. He also said that if the post didn’t get at least a hundred comments, he’d pipe the talking Lysol ad into my third dream level.

10. Avatar - I’ve come to terms with liking this film despite the perfectly fair criticisms leveled against it. And its inclusion alone is probably good for fifty pissed off comments.

9. Up in the Air - Fly here, fly there. At some point the means become the ends. And then you watch this film on your second cross country flight in three days and it slaps you right upside your head with the 200,000 miles you’ve flown over the last three years. And then you realize it’s not changing anytime soon, and that you saw five of the ten films on this list in the sterling comfort of leg cramp economy class. Of course, like George Clooney’s character, I am comforted by the fact that I look like George Clooney.

8. The Boys are Back - Grief fucks us up something fierce, and usually films don’t get it even remotely right. It’s not about the big cathartic cry or breakdown. There’s usually not a shouting match between loved ones in which one suddenly screams the truth and the finally the healing happens. Hollywood loves to parrot the line that goes something like “it never really gets better, the hole is always there, but it gets easier…” but it’s always said, never shown. This film shows it. It shows how loss changes things permanently, that it knocks us from our perch and we end up eventually in a new equilibrium but never the same one. It gets that things never get better, they just get different.

7. The Brothers Bloom - Con artists have a special place in the imagination sort of like genteel versions of pirates. Their every word a lie, their every action a convoluted scheme within a scheme. There’s the sense that it’s never about the money, it’s about the freedom of the tightrope act.

6. Star Trek - It’s not without its plot holes, and it is more action than the thinking science fiction that is what really gave Star Trek its staying power in all its incarnations, but it feels like it sets up a new series the right way. It reminds me of Batman Begins, or Star Wars, in that it’s certainly not perfect, but sets up the playing board for the perfect gut punch of a sequel. If the sequel doesn’t live up to that, then my guess is that this film is going to slip quite a bit over time, but as it stands now it’s a beautiful teaser for the summer of 2012.

5. Hurt Locker - I did notice that the Academy got my note, which pleased me as I will not have to liquidate them this year.

4. (500) Days of Summer - I understand where the criticisms of this film are coming from. I can sympathize with the point of view that insists that Tom is not sympathetic, that he has no right to want something more than Summer ever promised. But where I think this film is brilliant is that it turns romantic comedies on their head. In every boy meets girl, loses girl, gets girl back there is that one poor bastard of a character in the background: the other boy that the girl dates when the protagonist loses her. The one she abandons when she realizes what true love is. The one who is variously portrayed in the background as either an asshole deserving of the dump or the saint who spouts some sacrificial cliché like “if you love him, go to him.” (500) Days of Summer tells the story of that guy.

3. Zombieland - I normally watch movies alone. Other people tend to talk, interrupt, pause it when they want to go to the bathroom instead of when you want to go to the bathroom, and usually insist that you wear pants. Zombieland is one of those films that is even better when you watch it the fourth time with other people.

2. Moon - When I wrote about how all the 2010 science fiction seemed to be dystopian and very rarely ventured into any classic science fiction territory, this film was in the back of my mind. It’s anything but a happy ending, yet it’s not dystopian. It’s a classic science fiction tale that I’d imagine reading in some half moldy paperback of sci-fi short stories that I dug out of the back of a used book store.

1. District 9 - Okay I’m cheating. I saw this one in theaters in 2009. But to be fair, I also watched it on DVD in 2010. It hits the perfect balance between ideas and entertainment. In that sense it reminds me a lot of Aliens, it’s got patches of gallows humor, brutal horror, provokes thought without taking timeouts to have very serious conversations, and tops it off with power armor. Everything is better with power armor. (500) Days of Summer would have jumped to number 2 easily if Tom had just gotten some power armor.


Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.










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Comments

Katy Perry probably wouldn't have left a guy with power armor.

Posted by: Ian at January 5, 2011 2:26 PM

Up in the Air was a good film but something bad happened to Vera Farmiga's face. She really went downhill fast.

Posted by: chuck knows where you live at January 5, 2011 2:29 PM

I'm even more behind than you Steven. Living out in the country with four kids means hardly ever seeing a movie in an actual theatre and I haven't joined the mailbox movement. It's pretty new in NZ. So I wait until they show on Sky TV, which means I have seen a grand total of 2 movies on this list! Can't wait until 2012 so I can watch The Social Network. Really looking forward to it.

Posted by: wildflower at January 5, 2011 2:35 PM

Ugh. The Brothers Bloom was just awful. Even Rachel Weisz couldn't save that failed attempt at wit and whimsy.

Posted by: sars at January 5, 2011 2:39 PM

"It shows how loss changes things permanently, that it knocks us from our perch and we end up eventually in a new equilibrium but never the same one. It gets that things never get better, they just get different."

See, this is far too depressing a concept for me. Maybe you didn't intend it, but it sounds like hopelessness. Like, if you're in grief, you will always be in grief and rainbows will die. I want to keep living in my "it will always be there, but it will get easier" world.

Posted by: Lindsay at January 5, 2011 2:43 PM

Great post and great list. I'm ashamed to say that I still haven't seen 2 movies on this list, but this post reminded me to rent them soon. The only disagreement I have is with District 9, for which I REALLY didn't understand the love.

Posted by: jimbob at January 5, 2011 2:53 PM

They went to the theater more times than I went to the bathroom.

You and me both, buddy. Catheters and colostomy bags free up so much time for we who are busy and can't be bothered with such mundane tasks as using a toilet.

Thanks for the Moon mention. I would see-saw between it and District 9 for No. 1.

Posted by: admin at January 5, 2011 2:59 PM

I'm going to apply something I said on the other Best of thread to this context: the fact that you think that Avatar is better than Up and Adventureland makes me so very sad.

Avatar is an unthinking pile of simplistic cliches and nonsensical pseudo-political commentary that reduces international politics to a "US bad, everyone else good" reverse-Bush Manichaean moral vision so retarded that it makes Michael Moore look like Immanuel Kant. Jesus.

Posted by: Zack at January 5, 2011 3:00 PM

I love the premise of this column. Perhaps Dustin would be kind enough to let me write my Ten Best Films of 1982 list, because I don't have Netflix and I'm at least that far behind in terms of being to able make what passes for a respectable, comprehensive list.

I stand with you on the Avatar apologetics! Of course, none of my three favorite films of 2009 even made your top ten.

Godspeed on your way to 100 comments!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 5, 2011 3:02 PM

Mr. Wilson, I must admit, I have a huge internet crush on you.

I will only visit the theater for exceptional movies, and this year I only made it there twice. This list is perfect for me.

I was very surprised to not hate Avatar. The only movie on this list I haven't seen is The Boys are Back and that will be rectified shortly.

At the very least, I shall add to the comment section to help against the Lysol attack.

Posted by: Scully at January 5, 2011 3:04 PM

Zack, Avater is an unthinking pile of simplistic cliches and nonsensical pseudo-political commentary, but while it demonizes the US, it heroicizes the (white) American individual, that is, over the noble-yet-ultimately-weak "natives" who cannot free themselves without his help/leadership.

Posted by: sars at January 5, 2011 3:07 PM

"Avatar."

Posted by: sars at January 5, 2011 3:08 PM

Ah, District 9 completely astounded me by how good it was. Also, Tom would not wear power armor because he is a whiny pussy. And even if he did, he would end up giving the power armor to Summer who would then in then shoot him and then kick him when he is down, thus proving she's selfish jerk.

You're right, that would be a better movie...

Posted by: denesteak at January 5, 2011 3:09 PM

*who would, in turn, shoot him...

Posted by: denesteak at January 5, 2011 3:11 PM

Sars, I agree that in addition to having a black-and-white view of morality in international politics, it's actually quite racist in the way that it treats the people who it purports to be morally valorizing. The two can, somewhat surprisingly, exist without conflict in the same movie. That's how unbelievably asinine Avatar is.

Posted by: Zack at January 5, 2011 3:14 PM

Avatar was pretty.

Posted by: admin at January 5, 2011 3:16 PM

Too right, Zack. I really can't believe I saw it since I heard all this before I went to see it.

Posted by: sars at January 5, 2011 3:24 PM

I couldn't believe how much I didn't like The Brothers Bloom. I had so many things I love - Rachel Weisz, Mark Ruffalo, fancy cars, con artists, Rachel Weisz - but it just bored the hell out of me. I've tried watching it twice, and still haven't bothered to get all the way through it.

Posted by: badkittyuno at January 5, 2011 3:25 PM

I was wondering whether or not I was the only one who thought that District 9 was the best movie of 2009. I know it had no chance of winning Best Picture Oscar, but it deserved it.

Posted by: Maggi at January 5, 2011 3:27 PM

Lindsey - It gets that things never get better, they just get different.

But that doesn't mean the different can't still be good. You don't have to hand in your future happiness card, at least not permanently. They give it back and then suddenly you are watching a Nanny McPhee movie and a character says "Right-o" just like your father did at the end of every phone conversation and just like you have never actually heard another human being do and suddenly you are weeping quietly on the couch hoping your five year old won't notice. It's not as bad as Hark the Herald Angels Sing though. That one will kill you. Damn you Charlie Brown!

I am seem to have gotten off track. Now where was I? Oh yes, I found SLW's article marvelously entertaining even though I've only seen 3 movies on the list and cannot be comforted by the fact that I look like George Clooney.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 5, 2011 3:27 PM

Lloyd,

(As a foreigner I just have to use that name, it's too funny)

I want to take you behind the shed and make man-love to you.

Ow, yeah, and the list of course.
Right. Back ontopic etc..

Your thickness in SF support just..
No.
That didn't come out right.

Um

*Sweaty palm type hard*

Good list, you lumberjack!

Um, noo..

I'll stop here I think

Posted by: Magiel at January 5, 2011 3:39 PM

sars and denesteak are certainly doing their part to get 100 comments by doubling up with self-editing. What did SLW promise you for your cooperation? Entry into The Dream? Yeah, well, you'll just get stuck endlessly cataloging his old VHS tapes while he masturbates to a Kurosawa autobiography. Upon release you may enter The Dream.

Posted by: Kballs at January 5, 2011 3:39 PM

I just want my fotrune and glory.

Posted by: sars at January 5, 2011 3:46 PM

"fortune"

Posted by: sars at January 5, 2011 3:46 PM

"...you'll just get stuck endlessly cataloging his old VHS tapes..."

No joke, this sounds like a highly enjoyable activity to me.

/shrugs

What can I say? A label maker, file folders and Excel were my favorite birthday gift last year.

Posted by: Scully at January 5, 2011 3:47 PM

Is Kballs capable of making a comment without mentioning bodily fluids? Is that a world we would want to live in?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 5, 2011 3:49 PM

I watched The Brothers Bloom for the first time last night and loved it. I can see why people might not, and there were times it almost lost me with all the whimsy and quirks, but in the end it got me. I loved the way it was shot, I loved all the characters, and even though you HAD to know that ending was coming I still got choked up.

I've seen all of these except The Boys Are Back (Clive Owen hate) and enjoyed them all except Zombieland. I mean, it was fine enough while I was watching it but it hasn't left a lasting impression and it felt really overhyped for what it was.

Posted by: Carrie at January 5, 2011 3:50 PM

I love this list as it is pretty much where I'm at in my film-viewing schedule. Apart from the random Potter extravaganza or some movie that my almost 7-year old HAS to see, I rarely see a movie first-run in the theater anymore. I am usually going to wait until cable or rental to see most movies. And I have no shame reviewing or recommending them a year later, as I think there are lots of folks in the same boat as me or without the budget or interest to see every movie when it first comes out - something I did manage in my early 20s, but that was then. Who says there's an expiration date to view a film? The best movies are the ones that we want to see over and over again, through the years.

Posted by: xoxoxoe at January 5, 2011 3:55 PM

Mrs. Julien,

Bodily fluids, parts, and functions can be high comedy if referenced in the correct context. My favorite combination of the three has only graced the pages of Pajiba once before, but I'll share it again so we can all laugh at our filthy bodies:

Vaginal blood fart

Sweet dreams!

Posted by: Kballs at January 5, 2011 3:59 PM

Mrs. Julien

I can accept that :-) Charlie Brown is also a deal-breaker with me re:grief, except it's "Snoopy Come Home" and the scene where Snoopy and Woodstock are camping out and play a song using the pots and pans they brought for the camp which someone I knew used to replicate, and then the conversation that Charlie has with Peppermint Patty about the true meaning of love and now I'm going to cry sooo...time for a soda.

Posted by: Lindsay at January 5, 2011 4:05 PM

I miss VHS.

You could skip the commercials.


I'm ingoring the VBF remark, it's to big a mental image as I was horny.
Not anymore.

Posted by: Magiel at January 5, 2011 4:08 PM

100 comments, eh? Let me see if I can help:

Avatar is a better movie than Star Wars
(please reference prior assertions concerning power-armor)

Star Trek was boring
(it's like Dumbledore said, "Do or do not; there is not try." God I love Ian McKellen)

The Hurt Locker was directed by a chick? Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
(she must be gay)

[leans back to enjoy shitstorm]

Posted by: superasente at January 5, 2011 4:10 PM

Kballs - All in all I think that showed tremendous restraint.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 5, 2011 4:11 PM

Your inclusion and high ranking of Moon makes me want to hug you, sir. Or it might also be due to the ecstasy tabs the KFC employee put in my Double Down sandwich. Either way, it also backs my previous vote for 2009 as year #1 in the other post.

Posted by: Paultera at January 5, 2011 4:11 PM

I agree that this is an excellent idea. The biggest problem with Pajiba is that there is always at least a 9 month lag between when it is talked about on Pajiba and when I actually see it.

Since I can appreciate both the un-hipness and the misanthropy of SLW, I'll help get you one step closer to that hundred.

Posted by: Yossarian at January 5, 2011 4:14 PM

- Ian McKellen I can not disagree upon.

- I wouldn't mind a gay Kathryn Bigelow. She's shiny.

- How ever, for the Star Wars remark (It should be done in capitols, realy) I'm going to look where you live, tie you down, and read to you every remark about G. Lucas on the internet while cutting of pieces of you. And your dog. And the plants in your house.

Posted by: Magiel at January 5, 2011 4:16 PM

Kballs, I just want a mention at the end of the year on some list about commenters... Figured I'd get an early start.

If Dustin ever makes a SRL of Most Agreeable Commenters, I would surely (hopefully) be on it since most of my comments are always in the vein of, "I LOVE ____!"

except when it comes to Sofia Coppola and Lost in Translation.

Posted by: denesteak at January 5, 2011 4:18 PM

I liked Machete.
Not really, but I liked watching Jessica Alba struggle through her spanish.

Posted by: daria at January 5, 2011 4:23 PM

"...if Tom had just gotten some power armor."

No thanks. Not unless he first bit out his fingernails, underwent a genetic mutation, and rebelled against his own race. You must be bad-ass to wear power armor.

Tom danced to Hall & Oates and caught a cartoon bird on his finger. Therefore, he cannot pull it off.

Actually -- on second-thought -- maybe that would actually make (500) Days of Summer as unexpected and non-traditional of a romantic-comedy as everyone claims it is (when in fact, it isn't -- it's just done well.) If he sashayed over to his power armor and annihilated all of his fellow caucasians in the movie. That would leave...what?...maybe two back-up dancers and one of his co-workers?

Well it would sure solve his Summer problem.

Posted by: Roisin at January 5, 2011 4:29 PM

This list is good but what I would really love is:

Top 10 2009/2010 movies you can watch on Netflixs Instant. My top 5 would look like this:

5. Shutter Island
4. Thirst
3. Zombieland
2. Sin Nombre
1. Exit Through the Gift Shop

See, if you had that list, I could get excited about movies I can watch right away.

Posted by: brdkelli at January 5, 2011 4:30 PM

My top five would be
1. The Hurt Locker
2. Up in the Air
3. District 9
4. (500) Days of Summer
5. Zombieland

What a great year for movies. If only Avatar could've had a storyline that wasn't completely retarted.

Posted by: camytaru at January 5, 2011 4:42 PM

I don't go out to see movies nearly as much as I used to (or, as I'd like). So, I tend to be pretty picky about what I won't wait to Netflix, but Avatar is one of those movies that I'm glad I saw at the theater and in 3D. Mind you, I don't think it was a good movie, I'm just glad I saw it the only way that gives the film any redeeming value. It was astonishingly beautiful, and the 3D was the best I've ever seen. And, honestly, those are good enough reasons to include on a Top Ten list. Up might be a better movie (ah, hell, it just is a better movie), but we're still talking about Avatar, and we will for decades to come. It changed the future of filmmaking.

Also, you should never apologize for what blows your skirt up, SLW. We don't get to choose what makes our brains go pitter-patter.

As for the power armor debate, I submit to all of you The Matrix: Revolutions.

Posted by: RobP at January 5, 2011 4:56 PM

To help you reach the 100 comments mark and because I am genuinely curious: was the column title an intentional Muppet Movie homage?

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 5, 2011 4:57 PM

Oh, and Moon would be at the top of my list for last year and this year. I haven't seen anything better than that since it came out. District 9 and Inception were pretty close, and I've seen Zombieland and Kick-Ass more. But, Duncan Jones and Sam Rockwell created sci-fi magic.

SLW, describing it as akin to a short story in a dusty old paperback is perfect.

Posted by: RobP at January 5, 2011 4:59 PM

Starbucks, Caribou or Seattle's Best needs to start opening up in movie theatres. Fuck. That is genius. I need to start sneaking peppermint lattes into movies.

Thank you Steven Lloyd Wilson for this idea.

Posted by: An Atlantan at January 5, 2011 5:01 PM

I also really enjoyed The Messenger and I'm not a Woody Harrelson fan. I thought it was as powerful as Hurt Locker, just in a different way.

Posted by: Laura at January 5, 2011 5:56 PM

Not good--the poop thread is already at 90 comments. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

Posted by: Lindsay at January 5, 2011 5:59 PM

Your interpretation of (500) Days of Summer is better fit by the movie The Baxter (Michael Showalter, Michelle Williams, Elizabeth Blanks), I think.

Posted by: MattF at January 5, 2011 7:12 PM

Not good--the poop thread is already at 90 comments. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

We all get a Snooki caliber book deal is what it means! Whoo!

Posted by: Paultera at January 5, 2011 7:46 PM

I haaated Up in the Air and 500 Days of Summer (hell, that one just made me fucking furious).

District 9 and Zombieland, on the other hand, I could watch over and over and over.

Posted by: Figgy in Honduras at January 5, 2011 8:17 PM

Great, Darth, now I have Rainbow Connection stuck in my head.

Posted by: Figgy in Honduras at January 5, 2011 8:29 PM

When I was a kid, I had an awesome radio that would pick up TV stations. I used to listen to movies late at night. Some worked fine as radio plays. Others didn't work at all.

If you were to have listened to Avatar with your eyes closed, you would have put it on the worst of the year list. Absolutely nothing in the movie made any sense at all. I felt my IQ points melting away as I watched.

Very pretty, though.

Posted by: The Mutt at January 5, 2011 8:43 PM

#53. i think.
do all the comments have to be by different ppl?

Posted by: EricD at January 5, 2011 8:43 PM

sorry but no time right now to read the comments. just wanted to say that i recently saw moon and was excited as i'd heard so much about it and i'm a sf geek. i was disappointed. it wasn't bad but it wasn't great for me. the relationship between the guy and girl made me roll my eyes more than once. and that ending (don't want to spoil anything for anyone) struck me as heavy-handed in its symbolism (if you catch my meaning). perhaps it suffered in my esteem from all the hype i'd read. i hate when that happens.

Posted by: splinter at January 5, 2011 8:55 PM

Oh, dreaded Lysol! It's coming for you, SLW. And not friendly like sexy yet unbalanced and stabby Marion Cotillard. No, this is coming for you old school like psychopathic, homicidal David Patrick Kelly in Snakeman form in Dreamscape. Watch out!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 5, 2011 9:18 PM

I just got a new droid. First website addition? Pajiba of course! Just testing it out. Are we close to 100 yet?

Posted by: Scully at January 5, 2011 9:24 PM

I try not to look down on anyone for their taste in film. Everyone has their opinions for whatever reasons. However, splinter, I will meet you at dawn with pistols behind the old willow tree for your remarks about Moon.

Moon spoiler spoiler spoiler
The relationship between Sam and his wife is supposed to seem slightly cliche as it's basically manufactured anyway. The videos were recorded for the benefit of the clones only. With infinite copies of himself it's not like the real Sam would need to spend three years there if he spent any time at all.

Posted by: Paultera at January 5, 2011 10:20 PM

My top 10 would look like this:

District 9

Star Trek

Adventureland

Up In The Air

Away We Go

The Brothers Bloom

Inglorious Basterds

Up

(500) Days of Summer

Zombieland

(Note: I didn't actually see Moon or The Boys are Back yet). I thought Avatar was visually stunning but lacked so much in story. I mean really, Jimmy Cameron, you say you worked on that story for somewhere around 10 years and the best name you can come up with for a rare, coveted gem is "Unobtainium"? REALLY? Ahem, sorry. 2009 really was a great year for movies.

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 6, 2011 12:21 AM

Despite your inexcusable approval of Star Trek (I'm with Slim on that one) and Avatar (need I say more?), you are quickly becoming my favorite Pajiba writer, SLW. You're a fine old carbuncle, you are.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 6, 2011 12:30 AM

Dustin,

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 6, 2011 12:30 AM

I was attempting to add a shitload of comments to spare SLW from the talking Lysol ad, but that fucking despot Dustin has the site rigged against me. Damn you, Rowles!

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 6, 2011 12:33 AM

The only ones I haven't seen are Avatar, The Boys are Back, and (500) Days of Summer. I'm ashamed to admit I only watched District 9 as background noise, but I intend to give it a proper viewing someday soon.

On the rare occasion that the theatre in this town actually gets something I'm interested in, the place is usually empty so it's almost like being at home. Except for the one time some girl wouldn't shut up during No Country For Old Men which led to an altercation that almost turned into a fight.

I'd have to join in on the love for Adventureland too, but mostly because of Martin Starr.
And I freaking love Moon.

Posted by: Uda at January 6, 2011 2:54 AM

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who hasn't seen Avatar. I don't really want to see it It looks like it's all visuals with a weak story plus it's been hyped up so much, it's just annoying to me now.

Posted by: Maggi at January 6, 2011 3:21 AM

Maggi - havent seen Avatar and don't plan on ever seeing, I've also never seen Titanic and seem to be the only one left on the planet who hasn't.

I love this list a lot :)

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at January 6, 2011 5:31 AM

"...you'll just get stuck endlessly cataloging his old VHS tapes..."

No joke, this sounds like a highly enjoyable activity to me.

Me too, Scully, me too.

Posted by: Uda at January 6, 2011 5:42 AM

I love this whole post, even the parts with which I disagree. And "ignorant carbuncle" deserves far more use than it gets. I may attempt to remedy that in my everyday life.

Posted by: Shibuyama at January 6, 2011 6:09 AM

Just helping out with the comments counter.

I don't understand the hate for the Avatar story. So it's not original. So it's Dancing with Wolves in Space. So what? I'd say more than 95% of everything writen lacks any real original ideas. Almost everything is a re-imagination or variation of something else. Avatar did pick up the audiences and transported them to an astonishing new universe, filling them with a sense of wonder as only movies can. It was not the best movie of the year, but it brought back the magic into movie theaters. The only downside of Avatar was/is the insufferable 3D trend it triggered. This is of course just my opinion, but I enjoy Avatar more without the 3D, as I generally feel those effects more distracting than immersive. But that's just me.

As for the Star Trek remake/re-immagine/sequel or what the hell that aberration was, the only thing I liked was the casting of Zoe Saldana as Uhura and how they finally made that character relevant. Ok, I grant they also did justice to the original characters, but everything else was just terrible for me. The film might display the original Star Trek characters spirit, but it was anything but a Star Trek movie. If the producers wanted to do something original and different than what Star Trek is all about, by all means do it. Just don't call it Star Trek. Doing it was just misleading the audiences. I'm not showing up for a sequel. Or is that a re-sequel? The issue is even more confused than the film's plot.

Posted by: King Mob at January 6, 2011 7:26 AM

King Mob,

I couldn't say anything one way or the other about Avatar, it just didn't appeal to me at all so I haven't watched it. Plus having Sam Worthington as a lead didn't help give me any incentive either.

As for Star Trek, I don't entirely disagree with you. I've said it before and I'll say it again; J.J. Abrams was trying to turn Star Trek into Star Wars and that's what bothered me the most about it. There were aspects of it that I found entertaining, but it's certainly not my favourite.

I like to help out with the count too.

Posted by: Uda at January 6, 2011 7:58 AM

Last night Avatar was playing at my gym so I got to watch it a second time. The first time I saw it, like I said earlier, I really didn’t hate it. Oh sure it was cheesy and heavy-handed, but it was watchable. Last night I realized just how boring the movie is. I must have attempted to change the channel every few minutes, but then something in my brain would say “so pretty!” and I’d leave the movie on. Still, I can't hate it. But I will weep that 500 million dollars was spent on a movie.

Posted by: Scully at January 6, 2011 8:02 AM

Goddamn it, that should've been a colon not a semicolon. I apologise for my egregious error.

Posted by: Uda at January 6, 2011 8:09 AM

He made a minor vocabulary error and she inwardly, magnanimously forgave him.

Carrie Fisher

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 6, 2011 8:22 AM

Moon made me appreciate just how far Kevin Spacey's voice and an emoticon could carry a performance.

I felt really bad for the robot in that.

Posted by: twig at January 6, 2011 8:51 AM

only 26 left, come on people, are you that bitchy? you can' t let Dustin do that to him.

Posted by: rg at January 6, 2011 10:43 AM

Everyone interested in the Star Trek talk should go take a look/listen to Plinkett's Review (he of the 90 minute Star Wars prequels shakedowns). He doesn't hate the movie, but he doesn't love it, and he spells out perfectly why it both succeeds as a great, and fails horribly as, a Trek film. The man's insightful as all hell.

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 11:14 AM

I feel I should add some context:

Ikeep bringing the review up/linking to it, because I just watched it earlier this week (how ironic, don'tchya think?), and it gave me a better appreciation for what the movie did right, and helped me articulate where it went wrong. I never minded the Star Warsification of the universe, I just wanted it to be a more equal marriage of the two storytelling philosophies. If the next one doesn't infuse the series with more Trekiness, then I'll probably view the first as much more of a disappointment. For now, though, I think it stands as a great new beginning that was far from perfect but will hopefully pave the way for something even more awesome down the road (as Plinkett says, like Batman Begins did for The Dark Knight).

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 11:15 AM

Besides, we all know that Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country is still the best one, right?

(How many more comments do we need now?)

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 11:16 AM

I really, really like Moon too. I recently watched Matchstick Men because Pajiba recommended it, but mostly because Sam Rockwell is in it.

I have no idea what this Lysol commercial is... Is it really bad? I could google it but since I secretly visiting this site at work...

Posted by: denesteak at January 6, 2011 12:25 PM

Because we're still short on the 100 comments mark, here is my 2009 top 10 movie list:

-(500) Days of Summer
-Avatar
-El secreto de sus ojos (my favorite of the year)
-Inglourious Basterds
-Knowing (I don't care what anyone says, I really enjoyed that movie)
-State of Play
-The Messenger
-The Road (I was depressed in the next two days thinking about it)
-Un prophète
-Up in the Air

I have The Hurt Locker as a 2008 movie.

Posted by: King Mob at January 6, 2011 1:03 PM

Unfortunately, Moon was playing at Midtown Arts Cinema, which doesn't have stadium seating and damn it, I COULDN'T SEE EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON. *sigh* I hate that theatre.

Posted by: An Atlantan at January 6, 2011 1:55 PM

You aren't alone, King Mob. The senile ghost of Roger Ebert loved Knowing, too.

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 2:07 PM

Here is my 2009 list:

1. District 9
2. (500) Days of Summer
3. Moon
4. Up
5. A Single Man
6. Up In The Air
7. Star Trek
8. Fantastic Mr. Fox
9. Away We Go
10. Coraline

And the honorable mentions (not in order):

Sherlock Holmes
The Brothers Bloom
Adventureland
The Proposal
The Cove
Inglourious Basterds
Zombieland
An Education
Black Dynamite
Where the Wild Things Are
The Hurt Locker*
Food, Inc.*
Taken*

*All pop up as 2008 in the google.

Posted by: Scully at January 6, 2011 2:08 PM

Wowza. 2009 was a great year for movies.

Posted by: Scully at January 6, 2011 2:09 PM

Huh. Apparently Mystery Team was released in 2009, too, though I don't think anyone saw it until 2010. It would definitely make my list, but I'm a bit of a Donald Gloversexual.

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 2:13 PM

I'm'a let you all finish, but Scully has the best 2009 list of ALL TIME (so far)!!!!!!!

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 2:14 PM

OF ALL TIME!

Now put your hands up
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

/does the hand wave thing

Posted by: Scully at January 6, 2011 2:25 PM

Reading these posts I realize how many movies from two years ago I still haven't watched :-(

Posted by: King Mob at January 6, 2011 2:32 PM

And that's not even counting indie films, foreign films, direct-to-DVD films, web-only films, student films, and porn, King Mob.

C'mon, guys, just 12 more comments to go!

Posted by: RobP at January 6, 2011 5:13 PM

The Brothers Bloom was flat flat flat like diet pepsi open for days. Gross.
Moon was great and Zombieland was my favorite for sure.
Does being reminded of a terrible breakup and crying through my beer make 500 days a good movie? Yes.

Posted by: allison at January 6, 2011 5:21 PM

I was going to leave some more comments for the count and I just realized my last fake handle was saved. I wonder how long I've been doing that today?

Posted by: Paultera at January 6, 2011 6:05 PM

Oh god, the top won't stop spinning and the voice keeps insisting that the lemony smell is killing 99.99% of bacteria.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at January 6, 2011 6:07 PM

Oh yeah.

Moon should be mentioned more no matter how many times it has already been.

Moon.

Posted by: Paultera at January 6, 2011 6:08 PM

the lemony smell is killing 99.99% of bacteria

But at what cost? AT WHAT COST?

Posted by: Paultera at January 6, 2011 6:10 PM

@RobP

Gosh, I miss watching porn. Damn you respectable life. I think the closest I came to it last year, was while doing a little research on Sasha Grey for my review on The Girlfriend Experience. She drinks piss with the best of them. True, it was her own, but still...what a trooper! Not in that film though. Steven Soderbergh is not that cutting edge ;-)

Posted by: King Mob at January 6, 2011 6:24 PM

Just adding to the count, although the above list does have some good Netflix queue adds. Although I haven't got a new Netflix movie in the mail ever since I misplaced Kiss Kiss Bang Bang in March '10. I found the High Fidelity disc recently, I suppose I can send that back and start getting movies again.

Posted by: leuce7 at January 6, 2011 6:52 PM

*gotten. And now you're so close!

Posted by: leuce7 at January 6, 2011 6:53 PM

Thanks for the list! I love anytime we get a list with fresh reasons for why it is on the list and not just the standard unintelligible copy and paste job from the original review. You're spot on about (500) Days of Summer. Even though Summer confesses she doesn't want anything serious, you can't blame Tom for being heartbroken she didn't fall for him when he fell for her. Getting engaged so soon after their break up though? That bitch.

Posted by: valerie at January 6, 2011 7:34 PM

I will gladly lobby Dustin to use Mrs. Meyers products instead of Lysol. He's an East Coast hippie, yes? He should be using eco-friendly products anyway. Shame on him!

Posted by: Scully at January 6, 2011 9:36 PM

100

Posted by: Scully at January 6, 2011 9:37 PM

Oh the sweet release of silence. Scully, may you find 72 Mulders in your dreams.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at January 6, 2011 9:56 PM

But I was just going to start the night shift..

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 7, 2011 12:02 AM

Congratulations. Lysol terror averted!

The bad news is that Dustin is transferring the punishment to me, as I have yet to garner 100 comments on anything I have written. I could have a horrible night in the R.E.M. state in store for me. Come save me, Marion Cotillard!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 7, 2011 3:35 AM

@KING MOB
Bless you for mentioning The Secret In Their Eyes. AWESOME movie!

Posted by: ellinad at January 7, 2011 6:38 AM

Thanks for that link, RobP, I had intended to watch it the first time you posted it, but didn't have the time to watch it until now. I like the new Star Trek, but I like to bitch about it even more, so that was just perfect.

Posted by: Uda at January 7, 2011 9:45 AM

@King Mob: Sash Grey is a weird cat, all right. I mean, more power to her, but it does very little for me. Now, the Batman XXX Porn Parody, on the other hand, does wonders for my stress levels.

@Uda: Radical! I'm glad you and BSlim got something out of it. I just started watching them recently, and while I love the unalloyed deconstruction of the Prequels, his fair and balanced take on Star Trek kinda blew my mind.

And huzzah(!) to over 100 posts. Where's the acceptance speesh, SLW? I mean, one besides your prepared remarks of "Suck on that, Rowles!"

Posted by: RobP at January 7, 2011 11:54 AM

Speaking of Sasha Grey, who has seen This Ain't Star Trek XXX?
Sometimes I'm amazed that she and I are the same age. What the fuck have I been doing with my time?!

Posted by: Uda at January 7, 2011 12:23 PM