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The Salmon Pirate

By Genevieve Burgess | DVD Releases | April 13, 2010 | Comments ()


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Pirate Radio: "Richard Curtis' Pirate Radio represents something of the inverse of that expression: It's way too much cake, you've got to eat it all, and there's no goddamn milk to wash it down with. There's enough sugar in Pirate Radio to trigger a collective coma in a ship load of apathetic diabetics. The first few bites are decent enough, but then you begin to realize that the icing is nothing but sweetened vegetable shortening obscuring the flavorless cake-like substance, and all it does is leaving you craving vegetables. Imagine that as a movie poster blurb: 'Pirate Radio: Inspires a craving for sprouts!'" - Dustin Rowles

The Slammin' Salmon: "Broken Lizard is basically a boy band with one commercial hit that you really liked, but as they release progressively worse albums, you keep trying to convince yourself that they're still good. Super Troopers was pretty funny, but since then, they've steadily been shitting the bed with the follow-ups. They're like alumni at frat house parties. Yeah, it's cool you could do eternal kegstands when you were 20. But now you're 40; lay off. Most of their comedy revolves around weed or booze references, peppered with the occasional slur or crudity. The Slammin' Salmon is like a stoner comedy, only they forgot to add the drug references. The plot tries to stretch a bad sitcom premise over hand-colored pencil sketches of characters with humor watered down like drinks at a Methodist wedding. It's like someone started to tell a joke and then drifted off halfway through and never got to the punchline, or like a bad meal at a chain restaurant: You figured it wasn't going to be great, but now you vow never to go back there again and you feel kind of sick that you wasted your time and money. Nothing pays off, nothing's particularly funny, and nothing is going to stand out and blow your mind." - Brian Prisco

Also released this week: 2010 Winter Olympics, Defendor, Love the Beast, Tenderness, Tenure, The Madeline Movie: Lost in Paris, Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon, We Believe: A Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime



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