November 4, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | DVD Releases | November 4, 2008 |


Around midnight last night, someone far off in the distance inexplicably played a Mandy Moore album loud enough that the sound traveled down into the basement, where TK and my captives had held us for most of the day, whipping us with feminine hygiene products and forcing us to watch “The Hills” and The Sound of Music, among other things. It was brutal. But after 14 hours of futile yelling, kicking, crying, screaming, and cajoling, it was the sound of Mandy Moore that finally brought TK out of his unconscious state. With him awake, we were able — by contorting ourselves in just such a way, and by removing certain articles of clothing — free ourselves from our chains. There was some unfortunate brushing that we will never speak of again, but ultimately, we were able to sneak out while the Pajibettes were engaged in a vigorous pillow fight. They still have control of my home, and they are no doubt brainwashing Lil Pajiba with lesbian films and “America’s Top Model,” but we’ve taken the site back, and we brought our musky scent, to boot. Godtopus lives, bitches! Did you miss him?

No? Well, suck it. You’re stuck with us again. That said, many, many thanks to the ladies for putting together a very successful, very enjoyable, and very clit-friendly Paheeba Day. We all learned something valuable yesterday: All it takes to win over a Pajiba girl is a bad-ass stare and an ability to carry heavy stuff. The Pajibageeks are that much closer to losing their virginity — if only they could lift heavy stuff. Or stare without twitching (damn computer monitors!).

Thank you, Pajibettes. And thanks to the rest of you for indulging our site shenanigans. There’s not a better goddamn blog community on the net. Motherfucking Period.

And here are your week’s DVD releases. Just two of note:

Kung-Fu Panda: Agent Bedhead, our resident Crappy Children’s Film expert, gave Kung-Fu Panda a decent review, writing, “With all the incongruity of a surfing penguin and the dare-to-dream qualities of a bee resisting a life of dronage, Kung Fu Panda doesn’t bring anything new to the children’s animation genre. However, this complaint seems trivial compared to a film that keeps its “awesomeness” well-executed and tightly paced. This is quite the vast accomplishment for a summer blockbuster, for in just 90 minutes, the film delivers an exhilarating set of action sequences and an everyday luminary that the audience can identify with. So, the quintessential slacker puts his chutzpah in motion, and he isn’t such a bad role model after all.”

Transsiberian: Nathaniel, likewise, was somewhat impressed with Transsiberian, writing that, unlike Siberian, the film “is not a punishing movie. There are times though when Anderson’s screenplay and direction attempt to shove an awful lot in, and do so awkwardly. Transsiberian is, I’d wager consciously, a Matryoshka doll itself. The crime drama holds a thriller. The thriller holds a character study. The character study holds a political film. In traditional nesting dolls the final miniature is usually the figure of a baby, which does not open. The smallest film within this film, the political one, is too tiny to hold another -indeed, there’s not much to it aside from a subversive kernel of an idea about American irresponsibility. There’s no baby inside.”

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Godtopus Rides Again


This Week's DVD Releases / The Pajiba Staff

DVD Releases | November 4, 2008 | Comments ()



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