Pajiba

Ironically, my childhood now has a size 7 poopchute after being roundly rogered this summer by the diminutive members known as the Baynis and the Sommers Sausage.

If we all send Mr. Bay a prescription for ExtenZe we might embiggen him enough to leave us the hell alone. Better yet, we can start a Penis Enhancement fund held in trust by Dustin (he's a lawyer so you know he's trustworthy, right?). It would work like a curse jar. Mention any combination from list A and B and send a dollar to the fund.

(A)
Michael Bay
Bay
Transformers
The Island
Revenge of the Fallen
Bad Boys I
Bad Boys II
Pearl Harbor
Armageddon
The Rock

(B)
Hack
Douche
Horrible
Retard
Idiot(ic)
Prick (with or without "tiny")
Soulless
Mindless
Dumb
Arrogant
Self-obsessed

Hmmm...perhaps I didn't think that through. Strike "Bay" from list A.

But if you're feeling flush you could still donate to the "Embiggen Bay Fund". The sooner we reach our goal the sooner we can have a Bay-free Hollywood. How much does penis enhancement surgery cost? Anybody willing to admit to knowing?

Hey justin!

I think you are repeating yourself with this article. That is words for words the same paper you released when the film arrived at the theatres few months back.

Are you becoming lazy or you just like to admire your writing?

Hey Eddy!

Just lazy or did you confuse the 'J' key with the 'D'?

The DVD release posts always include parts of the initial review so if you want a job as a proofreader or a fact checker you might want to reevaluate your assets.

I cannot take credit for this but one of my fellow writers at RUFKM had this take on T2: Revenge of the Fallen. It's hard to argue with his take on it to be honest. Except the masterpiece part, that's just sarcasm.

Instead, I believe T2 is an indictment of the liberal pacifism so strongly exhibited by the Obama administration and an ode to the industrial-military complex being the only true protector of liberty from the unbridled tyranny of religious extremism.

Couple this with strong judeo-christian imagery of both rebirth and redemption and you have a recipe for a true artistic masterpiece.

Masterpiece I tell you. Masterpiece.

Hey gang! Michael Bay here!

Glad to see that you're... Oh. Making fun of my small penis again, huh? I suppose when you don't have to deal with something as emotionally devastating as reduced prenatal androgen production it's that much easier to laugh at. Go on... I won't stop you.

Until next time, this is Mike Bay. A person. A person with real feelings...

Bye.

I know this is going to sound like gob-snacking nuttiness but Transformers 2 needs to be seen to be believed.

It should be seen by all at least once in order to understand the mind of a madman and how to avoid anyone who shows the signs of 2 jokes about leg humping, a woman falling face-first in a man's crotch for comedic purposes, an old robot (I dub him Expositiontron) that talks for an ungodly amount of screen-time, jigaboo robots, MORE funny underwear jokes... I have to stop now. I can't take it anymore.

It MUST be seen.