free counter with statistics DVD Releases 07/08/08 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Superhero Movie Ruins Sleepwalking

This Week’s DVD Releases / The Pajiba Staff

DVD Releases | July 8, 2008 | Comments (35)


The Ruins: A moderate fan of Scott Smith’s novel, Phillip was equally nonplussed with the adaptation, writing: “The film, directed by Carter Smith (no relation) from the author’s screenplay, is probably as good an adaptation as was possible. It’s not great, bedeviled by the same expositional lag and lack of sympathetic characters as the book, but finely utilizes enough lurid textures to be decent, throwaway horror.”

Sleepwalking: The movie, which features Charlize Theron in the first half hour, begins to falter once she exits the screen, Nathaniel writes. “Without the driving force of Sleepwalking’s bad mother, the screenplay by Zac Stanford (The Chumscrubber) enters a repetitive downward plot spiral before it ever hits the road

Stop-Loss: Though the Iraq War movie came and went with little notice, Phillip found Kimberly Peirce’s follow-up to Boys Don’t Cry to be a worthwhile endeavor: “With Stop-Loss, the familiar failures occur, but the film succeeds in finding a rich emotional vibrancy in unexpected, perhaps unintentional, ways. As a political statement, Stop-Loss is a failure, reducing the bureaucratic manipulation of good men and women by an uncaring administration into a simple, knee-jerk moral outcry (though I certainly agree with it). The film wears its message, like its heart, proudly on its sleeve. But where the message may fail, the heart does not; Peirce finds an emotional resonance in this story that most films on the Iraqi imbroglio have not, depicting the terrible burden faced by the families of those serving there. Rather than championing a cause, Peirce discovered the real consequences of war — that the responsibility of taking lives, whether with your guns or your orders, is a weight one will carry forever. Stop-Loss shows just how monstrous the manipulation of the men and women who voluntarily shoulder this burden is; perhaps the film is a more impressive piece of agit-prop than I realize.

Superhero Movie: Dustin describes the latest Movie Movie as such: “Tired jokes your brain-dead cousin who works at Radio Shack would laugh at, or the occasionally funny moment that’s already been exhausted by repetition, like a cubicle germ who still sneezes lines from Swingers or Borat, infecting you with his TB-infected cough blood.” He then concluded his review this way, “In fact, if I have to see one more of these goddamn films, I swear to God I’m going to single-handedly chainsaw gang-bang the Weinstein brothers in the ear for shitting the green that funds them, those fucking jabronified butter trolls. I can only hope that someone brings a class action lawsuit against them for infecting the Earth with malignant stupidity.”

The Tracey Fragments: Dustin describes the writing of this Ellen Page indie as such: “The Tracey Fragments isn’t just full of horribly pretentious gimmickry, it’s written by somebody’s petulant little sister, the one who mixes John Mayer lyrics with a string of profanities to achieve the perfect mix of faux profundity.” And although he concludes that Ellen Page doesn’t embarrass herself, “Page’s daring performance “doesn’t make up for an otherwise dreary movie-going experience, diluted by Macdonald’s own self-indulgence. And the director, who has helmed many an episode of ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation,’ even brings along the cheap production values from the show.”


This Was Seriously The Cleanest Picture I Could Find | Freaks & Geeks



Comments

nonplus: to surprise and confuse someone so much that they are unsure how to act.

I hate that in the US this word, through sheer ignorance, has come to mean the exact opposite of its true meaning. The "non" of "nonplussed" does not mean "not plussed", it comes from the latin non plus and it means "no more" as in a state where no more could possibly be said.

Posted by: EnglishTeacher at July 8, 2008 10:15 AM

Imagine my surprise to learn that in Indonesia it means "Jab a chopstick at my balls."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 8, 2008 10:32 AM

Oh yeah? Well, I hate the phrase, "That being said," and its even more slack-jawed cousin, "That having been said" with the intensity of 10 billion exploding suns. It's "That said," you dumb donkey-fucker. The verb "to be" is absolutely redundant and wholly unnecessary here.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 8, 2008 10:32 AM

Whoa now, I take umbrage with that crack about the Radio Shack folk. Having worked there for six of the gruelingest months of my life, I can tell you those folk don't laugh at nothin'. Their lives are too filled with pain...

Posted by: Dubs at July 8, 2008 10:51 AM

"Whence" needs no "from" in front of it. So stop it.

As for the commonly incorrect use of "nonplussed", try "dubious" instead! I like it a lot.

Yeah I'm not gonna watch any of these movies. However, "Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten" was apparently released today too! Along with the first season of "Jake and the Fatman". So that's good.

Posted by: Jay at July 8, 2008 10:57 AM

I can't stand people who think 'bemused' is another word for 'amused'.

Bemused - 1. muddled or confused 2. lost in thought

*gnashes teeth*

Posted by: Cookie at July 8, 2008 10:58 AM

Hum, I guess it's another week renting "The Duchess of Duke Street" for me.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 8, 2008 11:01 AM

Yeah, the Joe Strummer doc is supposed to be really good. I'm pretty sure there are some Clash fans floating 'round these parts.

Get excited about "JatF" if you wish; William Conrad never recaptured the magic of "Cannon."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 8, 2008 11:01 AM

socalled - what did they do with the other chopstick?

Posted by: Kolby at July 8, 2008 11:07 AM

::summons his Inner Bastard::

Fuck this horseshit. It's another week of Cosmos, Monty Python DVDs and Marx Brothers movies for me just to get the taste of these new releases out of my mouth.

It's just a world of wonder and bemusement, so I stand here fuckin' nonplussed.

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 8, 2008 11:08 AM

Kolbs, just trust me when I tell you the word for it sounded nothing like "anus."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 8, 2008 11:08 AM

Wanderer, from whence came your wonder? That being said, indeed that having been said, from whence came your bemusement? Are you at a loss for words, unable to respond? Maybe you're high.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 8, 2008 11:10 AM

"Show me amused, bemused, semused, sad, happy....Show me angry!"

*Jordan kicks Cox in the junk*

"Got angry down...owwww"

Sorry. All of this talk about misused words and the definition of bemused reminded me of that scene from Scrubs.

Carry on.

Posted by: Melody at July 8, 2008 11:10 AM

Oh, "bemused"! Yes! Love that one! Everyone always thinks I've said "amused" anyway though.

Posted by: Jay at July 8, 2008 11:34 AM

Socalled: Good one.

Posted by: staylor at July 8, 2008 11:35 AM

Hah, just try and use the word "denigrate" in a sentence when you're surrounded by idiots. It's highly bemusing.

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at July 8, 2008 11:43 AM

Wow. This is dangerous ground for me but I can't stop typing.

I use 'hopefully' even though I know deep down it isn't a proper word. When someone says something like 'we did excellent' I die a little. Sometimes if I see a chalk board with 'Strawberrie's' on it, I have to be forcibly restrained from changing it.

Posted by: StephanieS at July 8, 2008 11:46 AM

Fuck this horseshit. It's another week of Cosmos, Monty Python DVDs and Marx Brothers movies for me just to get the taste of these new releases out of my mouth.
It's just a world of wonder and bemusement, so I stand here fuckin' nonplussed.

Wanderer, That was beautiful. If you live anywhere near me, I may have to join you in your pop-culture cleanse. I make a mean Cosmo.

Posted by: ShinyKate at July 8, 2008 11:51 AM

Josh Peck, who looks like he dropped 100 pounds, got to make out with Olivia Thirlby, and was the tits in Mean Creek.

Yes, this is the same Josh Peck from Drake & Josh. But what about his sexy heartthrob co-star, the musician that all the tweens get the funny underpants feeling from?

You're looking at him. Drake Bell was the "star" of Superhero Movie. He got to trade fart jokes with Leslie Nielsen, and ate bologna and toothpaste sandwiches at craft services.

So for anyone worried about their fat awkward years in high school and being second banana to the popular attractive kids? Game, set, and mothafuckin' match.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at July 8, 2008 12:03 PM

"Pain in the ass" - one who complains incessantly about grammar on internet forums.

"Tired jokes your brain-dead cousin who works at Radio Shack would laugh at" - Hey! My brain dead cousin who works at Radio Shack (yes, I have one and I love him dearly) is actually at least smart enough to never watch any of those cinematic shitpiles.

Oh, right. Shitpile isn't a word. Oh, suck it.

What? It's hot as fuck, work's a bitch, I'm eating a fucking SALAD for lunch and my car needs $1000 worth of repair work. I got a right to be fuckin' surly.

Posted by: TK at July 8, 2008 12:19 PM

I'm pretty nonplussed. Either way actually. Also, where do I ship the chopstick to?

Posted by: MrC at July 8, 2008 12:58 PM

From Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com....


White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like "hunger," "being poor," or "getting shot." If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be "people who use 'their' when they mean 'there.' Maybe comma splices, I'm not sure but it's definitely one of the two."

If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it's probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the "Oxford Comma" and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of "it's.

Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. "Hey Jill, I'm sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I'm a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?" This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

Don't worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

Posted by: Ganesh at July 8, 2008 1:00 PM

"it's.

I think you failed to close your quotation marks there, Ganesh.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 8, 2008 1:40 PM

"bonk!"

That was the sound of Socalled getting hit on the head with a whiskey bottle.

Posted by: TK at July 8, 2008 1:49 PM

TK, aren't you always surly?

I overlook a multitude of grammatical sins (English degree) but I can't stand when people don't capitalize or use punctuation. Example:

oh my god i totally agree with you
my cousin and me went to see ironman then a guy with a loud kid sat in front of us and i was pissed
i dont know whether to wait for the dvd or go see it again

Posted by: Nicole at July 8, 2008 1:55 PM

TK, how is today any different from other days?

Posted by: Melody at July 8, 2008 2:03 PM

Nicole, I'll thank you to stop cutting and pasting directly from my blog. I can has whatever grammers I wants, chica. Good day to you, madame.

I said GOOD DAY!

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at July 8, 2008 2:05 PM

Yeah, plus "Iron Man"'s two words, just like Spider-Man.

I mean FUCK!

Posted by: Jay at July 8, 2008 2:17 PM

Jay, hee hee.

Posted by: twig at July 8, 2008 3:31 PM

socalledonlycousins, I have to agree with you about William Conrad in Cannon.

I loved that show as a kid, and wanted to own a car like his. I think it was a Lincoln Continental. (?) Anyway, it was the size of a yacht.

There had to be some suspension of disbelief when he was pummeling bad guys with his pudgy fists, but I adored him.

Posted by: StephanieS at July 8, 2008 3:38 PM

SoCalled, the source of my confusion and wonder is my irritation, which derives directly from the level of stupidity I see vomiting like lava from Hollywood's every orifice.

No, I was not high, just irritated, which explains why I slipped the collar on my Inner Bastard and let him vent a tad.

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 8, 2008 4:47 PM

Ganesh, that was a very informative article from Whatwhitepeoplelike.com. I'll definitely have to look up this website, because all the white people I know are a bit...ummm, how do I say this delicately...odd.

Posted by: Daisy at July 8, 2008 5:45 PM

I always used to think I was a grammar nazi. Then two things happened: I entered the world of online forums, and my brother did a degree in linguistics. All of a sudden I sort of stopped caring. Although, when I hear people say 'I could care less', it does make me want to hurt people. In creative and peculiar ways.

Posted by: rach at July 9, 2008 2:59 AM

"Although, when I hear people say 'I could care less', it does make me want to hurt people. "

Word. I mean, getting the meaning of a slightly uncommon word like "denigrate" confused I can accept. But in this case, they're getting the meaning of the word "could" confused, which is significantly less acceptable. To the point that they should probably be killed for their own (and everyone else's) good.

Posted by: Shay at July 9, 2008 8:56 AM

There's a men's clothing store in my town that has displayed an enormous sign for years. The sign reads "We have $99 Suit's" and I swear... one of these days I will vandalize it.

I will probably be menstruating that day.

Posted by: Mella at July 9, 2008 11:42 AM