free counter with statistics DVD Releases 02/24/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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What Just Happened to My Sex Drive?

This Week’s DVD Releases / The Pajiba Staff

DVD Releases | February 24, 2009 | Comments (10)


It’s going to be a long week, folks. Only three new DVD releases today, and only two wide release movies this weekend, as the box-office gets over its Oscar hangover, and both look to be stinkers (and next week, there’s only one wide release). At this rate, by mid next week, we’re going to be reviewing cell phone plans. Get excited.

Here are your three DVD releases:

Sex Drive: Dustin was reasonably impressed with Sex Drive, writing: “If you are that hypothetical 16-year-old curious about the teen comedies that came before you, but short on time (all that band practice and all), there’s really not much need to visit Better off Dead, Fast Times, Weird Science, Road Trip or even American Pie. You can get a pretty good taste for all of them by watching Sean Anders’ Sex Drive. I don’t say that as an insult: If you have to introduce a new generation of teenagers to teen comedies, you may as well borrow/steal/pay homage from/to some of the best. And Sex Drive takes some of the better elements of all of them, mixes them up, throws a decent soundtrack over it, and the result is a pretty fucking fun movie.”

What Just Happened?: It’s safe to say that Prisco wasn’t a fan, writing: “What Just Happened? (since nobody has ever heard of it and probably never will) is the story of a Hollywood film producer (Robert De Niro) who is struggling with his ex-wives, temperamental celebrities, and the ins-and-outs and agonies of making movies! At least, that’s probably what it would say on the Netflix slip in the approximately two weeks it should take for this to sluice out of theatres. It’s a lot like watching a movie about a pool boy. There’s probably going to be some manufactured sex scenes with lonely desperate women with too much time on their hands, and there’s going to potentially be a couple of amusing characters traipsing through, some saying funny things, but ultimately it’s about a job that nobody really wants to watch for almost two hours.”

Dear Zachary: This puppy has been playing on MSNBC for months, and for whatever reason, our review comes up number two on Google searches, so after every showing, we get 10,000 weeping housewives dialing us up and purging their souls. It’s not an easy movie to watch, as Dustin wrote in his review: “Dear Zachary is one messed-up motherfucking documentary, people. And the less you know about it, perhaps, the better. Or maybe not. I knew nothing about it going in, and made the mistake of forcing Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate to watch it with me. Within 11 minutes, she was sobbing, begging me to turn it off. Before I could find the remote, however, she’d been sucked back into an all-too engrossing story of a man’s freakish, tragic murder. But by minute 32, Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate was inconsolable but transfixed, watching the next 45 minutes of the documentary with bleary, tear-filled eyes. Before the documentary ended, those tears turned to silent shock. And, for the both of us, it was perhaps the first time we’d ever been completely paralyzed by a film. It is an experience unlike almost any other, and your emotions will run the gamut, from sadness, to pride, to despair, to anger, to ache, and to complete disbelief, and unbelievable, mess-you-the-fuck up shock.


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Comments

As far as Dear Zachary goes upon the end of the documentary my fiance turned to me and said "This is why the law should be taken into the family of the victim's hands."

Posted by: blacksred at February 24, 2009 11:02 AM

Nothing?! Seriously, nothing again for the second week in a row? OK, I know we've only got three movies, but isn't that enough to snark about? Unless everyone here likes all of the DVD's out this week. Admit it, you're gonna rush out and buy a copy of What Just Happened after work! Steelcased, limited edition, with the chase card containing a shred of Robert DeNiro's remaining dignity.

Or Sex Drive, because if there's two things people at Pajiba love, it's Sex and Doughnuts. (Ok, three things...can't forget about teasing spambots.)

Oh...oh, I see what's going on. Everyone just finished watching Dear Zachary and is on the verge of tears. In that case, I'm so sorry. (But if the previous two cases apply, then you guys are REALLY starting to scare me.)

Posted by: Mike R. at February 24, 2009 11:08 AM

I'll bite, Mike R.
Sex Drive Features Seth Green and I am willing to make the bold statement that he is the Christopher Walken of my generation. A fine actor who can be in the most terrible movies and yet still escape unscathed.
I can only hope this fosters some intelligent discussion.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 24, 2009 11:23 AM

I'm going to go get Sex drive. I like those stupid comedies in the vein of Euro Trip and whatnot. I'm not touching What Just Happend with a ten foot pole.

In Mikes Pants.

Posted by: admin at February 24, 2009 11:32 AM

I'm going to do one better - instead of watching Sex Drive, I'm gonna go on a sex drive! YEAH! You'd better watch out, ladies (maybe fellas too!)! If I pull up to you at a red light and your door's unlocked, you're gonna get SEXDRIVED*! Whoot! Even if your door's locked, there's a good chance I'm gonna mash my genitals against your window, leaving a "sexual fingerprint" on your windshield! YEAHYEAHYEAH!

* this will more than likely be a one shot deal, since I'll probably wind up pepper-sprayed, pantsless and sobbing in the intersection...

Posted by: Skitz at February 24, 2009 11:44 AM

I'm gonna mash my genitals against your window, leaving a "sexual fingerprint" on your windshield

I find that I have to question my own morals and enter a period of deep reflection as I have absolutely no problem with this behaviour. Hell, I'd probably join you, but on different windows. Cause the same window would just be gross.

Put 'em on the glass!

Posted by: admin at February 24, 2009 11:54 AM

OK guys, it's on. Just let me know where, and I'll be driving around, with my windows DOWN.

'Cause that's the kind of perv I am.

Posted by: Drake at February 24, 2009 12:08 PM

It would probably be best to wear either a condom or some kind of glove so that the police can't find you via their sexual fingerprint database. Although I would like to see the look on the face of the person dusting for those prints.

Plus, bonus points for forcing a reenactment of the tallywhacker lineup scene from Porky's. Just hope that you don't have any incriminating moles.

Posted by: branded at February 24, 2009 12:25 PM

Uh oh.

Time to go into the Panic Room. I hope it can withstand the force of Skitz'...uh...Minimus?

Posted by: figgy at February 24, 2009 3:45 PM

"I can only hope this fosters some intelligent discussion. "

Well, Optimus, does "Mmm, Seth Green...Oh yeah, I'd totally do him...." qualify? No? Well, er...carry on, then.

Posted by: meaux at February 24, 2009 8:08 PM