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27 Diving Bells and a Compass

This Week's DVD Releases / The Pajiba Staff

27 Dresses: I hate to drudge up old memories, since this review was ultimately responsible for the retiring of Rainbow Killer’s old nickname. This is one of the few occasions (maybe the only), when a writer was actually criticized for being too bitchy, after Dustin wrote: “Katherine Heigl is Satan’s vagina, and there’s hypocrisy santorum spilling out of her every orifice. I’m all for outspokenness, Katie, but how about backing up your goddamn words with actions instead of sliding into a bed of cash and fucking your brains out. At least the Four Starletards of the Apocalypse are honest about themselves — they own their whorish, drunken crazy — but Heigl wants to be a tabloid star and eat her cake of righteousness, too. Sorry, lady — you’re about as transparent as a wet T-shirt. Oh, and you may be pretty, but you’re about a sexy as a late-night doorstep fire left by empty-bowelled vandals and you’ve got all the goddamn acting talent of an empty wastebasket. Face it, BowKiller: You’re a placeholder; this week’s “next Julia Roberts” and next year’s 30-second clip in VH1’s “I Love the Oughts.”

Dustin’s just jealous because Michael Ian Black will never utter his name.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: John writes of the Oscar-nominated Diving Bell, a true-story about a man with trapped-in syndrome, that director Julian Schnabel’s “painterly eye results in dozens of stunning images, even if it also, at moments, steers the film uncomfortably close to the gauzy aesthetic of a high-end perfume commercial. He may lack the precision of a Terrence Malick (or put more kindly, he may have a broader palette), but like Malick, he seems interested in film primarily for its visual poetry. No matter how affecting, though, a two-hour visual poem threatens to outstay its welcome. The first half of Diving Bell is among the year’s best work, largely because the decision to keep the audience locked in Bauby’s point of view unnervingly recreates the sensation of being paralyzed. As the movie unfolds into flashbacks (including terrific work by Max von Sydow as Bauby’s father) and surprisingly tepid testaments to the human imagination, repetition moves in to slightly dilute the film’s power.”

The Golden Compass: Phillip was surprisingly pleased with Compass, writing that it’s “pretty great children’s fantasy, striking most of the right chords for an adventure with the additional boon of pitch-perfect casting. I’m as surprised as anyone, given the script’s omission of religious implications and a toning down of much of the darkness and violence which gave the original books a real sense of tension, not to mention the rampant production problems (Weitz left the project at least once). But the essentials: great, complex characters and a fully realized world are in fine form.”

How She Move: Although he can’t be certain, Dustin believes that his How She Stepped Up, Stomped the Yard, and Got Served 2 was supposed to be a review of How She Move, a lower-budget dance porn than debuted at Sundance in 2007. Dustin still couldn’t tell you which plot point described in the review belonged to which movie, however. Suffice to say, they all suck in varying degrees, but they do feature incredible dance sequences.


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Comments

sadly, none of these releases are making me run to my netflix Q....maybe I shouldn't be that sad?

Posted by: gunter at April 29, 2008 12:25 PM

hello? where is everyone? am i *gulp* by myself?

Posted by: gunter at April 29, 2008 12:26 PM

i am going off to curl up into a fetal position

Posted by: gunter at April 29, 2008 12:28 PM

I'll play with you Gunter :)

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly looks interesting, and after all the hoopla over Schnabel's direction I'm kind of psyched to see this.

My Netflix offerings at home right now are pretty good...Battlestar season 3 disk one, Undeclared disk 2 (reliving its awesomeness, I've been in a Jason Segel's Crazy Eyes mood), The Assassination of Jessie James, and The Hoax. Fun stuff.

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 12:33 PM

There, there, gunter. The Spambot will undoubtedly be here shortly to keep you company!

I am so meh about all of these movies, I'd have to put in effort to work my way up to ambivalent. It's probably for the best, since my queue hit the 600 milestone yesterday.

Julie, that's so funny, because I'm watching BSG Season 3 right now, too. I'm waiting for disc 3, though. If Netflix knows what's good for them, it will be in my mailbox when I get home.

Posted by: Sarina at April 29, 2008 12:35 PM

YAY!
i am still netflixing my way thru freaks and geeks - the last 2 disks should be showing up today - so until it is over (and the tears dry) i can't get too excited about 27 puffy meringues

Posted by: gunter at April 29, 2008 12:37 PM

I am with Julie in that The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is the only movie up there that piques my interest

I am also with Julie in being in a Jason Segel's Crazy Eyes mood....but I am sating it with How I Met Your Mother, as I do not have Undeclared at home at the moment

and it's the weather Gunter, Pajibians are more likely to post during good weather than bad
no idea why that is, but it seems to be true (at least based on recent low comment numbers and the crap-tastic weather the north-easy has been getting)

Posted by: Bethy at April 29, 2008 12:37 PM

I'm psyched to see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly as well.

Posted by: Cindy at April 29, 2008 12:38 PM

I am also intrigued by The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - i just think it may be one of those things that requires careful watching w/o alcohol, which, let's face it, requires some work.

Posted by: gunter at April 29, 2008 12:40 PM

Sarina, I had watched the 1st two episodes as they aired, but then missed enough that I had to wait for the dvds. I am so excited. I missed my Starbuck.

Bethy, did you watch last night's episode of HIMYM? The scene in the limo broke my heart. And I loved Barney's obsession with the Skymall catalogue, that is one of my favorite things about flying.

no idea why that is, but it seems to be true (at least based on recent low comment numbers and the crap-tastic weather the north-easy has been getting)

Word. The weather here can suck it so. HARD.

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 12:44 PM

She's so pretty! and I hear she can be found on manny-hispanicatthedisco.blogspot.com. She's pretty open and doesn't mind if you come home with glittery makeup on your collar and lipstick on your pork javelin.

Posted by: Mannybot at April 29, 2008 12:45 PM

Golden Compass got me in trouble.

I own the books, don't think they're as brilliant as most do but was pretty sure they'd make for a good cinematic experience.

So i sat through the whole movie, got to the end....and then it ENDED. Totally cut out the book's ending, which gave it a dark, creepy twist and IMHO was the best part of the book.

So in my shock and horror, I yelled out "What the F**K"...right into a theater full of tweeners. The parents were NOT happy.

Posted by: meh at April 29, 2008 12:53 PM

I really need to catch up on BSG. I just got into it and barely know what's going on, but I can't look away. Julie, I agree, Starbuck is badass.

Posted by: jM at April 29, 2008 1:02 PM

Every time I think of Julian Schnable, I think of Sean Young's drunken heckling during his speech and how Schnable handled himself quite nicely.

Posted by: Brie at April 29, 2008 1:07 PM

Meh, I think you are my hero.

Posted by: twig at April 29, 2008 1:10 PM

So in my shock and horror, I yelled out "What the F**K"

Meh, I did that at the ending of The Mist. I was alone in my living room, but the ending still elicited an audible yelp of disgust.

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 1:12 PM

I know Julie...poor Barney
and I loved it when he shredded his cell phone :)

and the flashback to 1776 was priceless (I always knew Ben Franklin was a perv!)

SO fed up with this weather, and it is not supposed to be getting better till like next week
only my mother is semi-happy about this, apparently her gardens were getting wicked dry...

and I just noticed I typed "north-east" as "north-easy"
hmmmmmmmmmm

Posted by: Bethy at April 29, 2008 1:15 PM

My husband and I walked out of "Diving Bell" within a few minutes because it was making him nervous. We went to watch "Persepolis" instead.

Posted by: samantha t at April 29, 2008 1:25 PM

Hee...I love when George Washington referred to our capital as "Me, DC." Heh.

Where is TK?! I need to have words with him and his contagious zombie hordes. I woke up feeling perfectly fine this morning, and I am slowly developing a scratch in the back of my throat, my chest hurts, and every muscle is slowly wearing out. Which means tomorrow when I wake up? I will be deathly ill. And I blame YOU my sinister friend. You.

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 1:31 PM

and I just noticed I typed "north-east" as "north-easy"

Hahaha! Bethy, I thought you did that on purpose. I read it, and was like: *sigh* I guess that's fair.

Posted by: J_Capri at April 29, 2008 1:42 PM

Hee, J_Capri, I thought to myself, "Yep, that's about right." :)

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 1:44 PM

OFF TOPIC LETTER TO BUFFY FANS
Dear Buffy Fans,
Thanks to all of you, I went out and bought Season 1 of Buffy. It's definately not bad (except for the special effects), but I'm not crazy in love with it either. Sarah Michelle Gellar does a pretty decent job. When she overheard Giles and Angel talking about how she was going to die (might have been the last episode of the season), and she totally freaked out and "quit" her slayer job, she almost made me lose my shit - especially when she started crying. And Angel is hot, though I'm not sold on David Boreanaz's actin' skillz. I do like Willow a whole bunch - she's a very endearing character. Again, though, so far it's not a life-altering show. Does it get better after season 1? Please advise.
Thanks,
TT Marie

Posted by: tt_marie at April 29, 2008 1:46 PM

Random observation: When just skimming through the comment section, the anagram for How I Met Your Mother reads as "hymen".

Posted by: JTate at April 29, 2008 1:50 PM

Even thinking about "Diving Bell" scares the crap out of me. Will not watch!

Posted by: frumpiefox at April 29, 2008 1:51 PM

Dear tt_marie:

Yes, it gets way way way better. You need S1 so you will know what is going on later.

BTVS pretty much follows a bell-curve model: It gets better and better, peaks around the middle of its run, and then tapers off. However, I loved every bit of it, even the less-than-great final seasons.

Soldier on.

Posted by: Jerce at April 29, 2008 1:54 PM

And by anagram, I mean acronym.

Posted by: JTate at April 29, 2008 1:54 PM

well, you know what they say about Freud and all that stuff! :)

tt_marie
it does get better, but if you are unsure if you want to spend money on it yet, the first 2 seasons are up on hulu.com, you can watch them free there (with minor commercial interuption)
thats what the Boy and I did, and now we are netflixing season 3

we enjoyed it a lot

Posted by: Bethy at April 29, 2008 1:56 PM

I was state champion in the pork javelin my senior year.

Posted by: Kolby at April 29, 2008 1:59 PM

I was state champion in the pork javelin my senior year.

And I have coffee all over my monitor...yet again. My coworkers are starting to think I have unseemly fetishes that I bring to the workplace. Seriously, stop being funny. It's getting me in trouble.

And I blame YOU my sinister friend. You

As you should. He's infecting all over the place. You'd think he had some shame...but no. However, I'll get him for you...

Bethy..I wish I had known that before I blew through my first two season disks, Any chance the third is up there, as I'm starting that right now?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 29, 2008 2:10 PM

And to stay on topic...The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is the only one I'm actually interested in seeing, since I've already watched The Golden Compass in theatres. I'll buy it, but that's only because of my obsession with collecting anything fantasy related and hoarding it over others...taunting them with my extensive knowledge and laughing when they ask to borrow it.

That's what everyone does...right? I mean, why else buy DVDs?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 29, 2008 2:13 PM

no Shadows...bastards haven't put the third season up yet. we had to netflix it

but I am sure if someone paid them a visit in the MurderTank, they could be, shall we say, pursuaded to speed the posting process up?

just sayin....

and Kolby, that just made me snort very hot hot chocolate, hee!

Posted by: Bethy at April 29, 2008 2:15 PM

Too bad Golden Compass didn't do better in North America. No sequels. Sigh. I really wish they hadn't spent so much on getting Nicole Kidman. Or they had marketed it better here.

Posted by: grinder at April 29, 2008 2:19 PM

Bethy, I think part of the problem may be the weather, but I'm pretty sure it's the tease aspect of it all. In my part of the north easy we had 2-3 lovely days (like people started putting away their winter clothes) and then mother nature is all "gotcha!" and we get grey rainy cold.

Also, I may be checking out hulu, as I was late to jump on the Buffy train until Angel was a knockoff and Summer (was that her name? The bratty little sister) was all up in the plotlines. That was my version of a thank you.

I haven't checked, but sidereel may have something like that up too.

Posted by: artificialsweet at April 29, 2008 2:20 PM

hmmmm, must check out this "sidereel", I had never heard of it

I did the same thing artificialsweet!
winter clothes were all packed away, summer clothes were coming out and then this happened. although I don't know what I expected really...this is New England after all

and I am forever forth refering to the north-east as the north-easy
I like that much better

Posted by: Bethy at April 29, 2008 2:31 PM

My husband just finished the third season of Battlestar, so Netflix should have plenty to send out by now. However, by the end, he was referring to it as Battlestar, 90210, and I was just calling it his "stories" (as in, "grandma needs to go home and watch her stories now"). Does season 4 get any less f*ing melodramatic and more, say, battle-y?

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at April 29, 2008 2:36 PM

and I am forever forth refering to the north-east as the north-easy

Does that mean girls in the north are easy? That's it, I'm moving...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 29, 2008 2:55 PM

It means we're...experimental, Shadows :p

Posted by: Julie at April 29, 2008 2:58 PM

I mean, what else are you supposed to do when winter lasts 10 months out of the year?

a girl gets lonely and bored :)

Posted by: Bethy at April 29, 2008 3:02 PM

It means we're...experimental

Oh, Julie, let's not be modest. Martian aliens with ass-probes are experimental. We girls up in the north-easy are something entirely undocumentable.

Posted by: J_Capri at April 29, 2008 3:54 PM

It's actually Locked-in Syndrome, not trapped in. But who cares, great film

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at April 29, 2008 3:57 PM

Huh, now I don't know WHAT to do as my home state of Maryland is considered southern by northerners (below the Mason-Dixon line) and northern by southerners (we don't talk quite as funny and actually sent troops to BOTH sides of the civil war). Am I easy? This question will bug me all day.

My mom's been threatening to Netflix 27 Dresses just to fast-forward to the montage of the 27 Dresses themselves. She's an occasional seamstress who's worked a few weddings. I'm only slightly embarrassed to be related to her for this desire.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 29, 2008 4:46 PM

tt_marie

Season three is my favorite. If I'm not mistaken, Joss Whedon started working on other projects in season four. The series sort of went downhill from there.

Posted by: brenia at April 29, 2008 5:16 PM

I miss Skank Cancer and don't find an entry for Rainbow Killer in the Urban Dictionary. To remedy this deficit I hereby nominate Cleaveland Steamer as the new nick name in honor of her acting prowess.

Posted by: OscarTamerz at April 29, 2008 5:29 PM

tt_marie:

Oh PLEASE stick with Buffy. It will pay off in huge ways. Season 1 is kinda like nostalgia for me...it's not my favorite, but it lets you know how it all began. I think 2 and 3 are the best, then 4 and 5 and 6, then 7 is the worst, but still completely worth watching. Soldier on, my friend!!

Posted by: Vince Noir at April 29, 2008 6:00 PM

I'd get her drunk and donkey punch her,but I,m not gonna spend any money on her craptastic flicks.

Posted by: wingedTOEsocks at April 29, 2008 7:37 PM

I gotta disagree with the Diving Bell review, as fair an analysis as it may be. I was captivated the whole time and thought it was a lulling, very human masterpiece all the way through.

But that's just my personal opinion, and hardly my professional one. So carry on. Keep up the good work.

Posted by: vic at April 29, 2008 8:03 PM

tt_marie: The very best of Buffy is ahead of you. The show was not really expected to last past season one, having been a midseason replacement. In subsequent seasons, the writers further discover and write to the actors' strengths. You are already exhibiting the early signs of Buffy addiction (e.g., SMG tugs at your tear ducts, Ally Hannigan makes you love Willow.) By the time you're well into season two, you'll be hooked and very happy.

Posted by: magsman at April 30, 2008 1:26 AM

Oh,so cute!I love her.Maybe she want to find more new friends,she is on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ".On "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m",there are many beautiful girls and rich,handsome men,they want to find more friends,find their lover.On that site,they make friends each other.If you are single now,I think you would come to the site.Please believe yourself,you will
find your lover.Come on!

Posted by: John at April 30, 2008 10:38 AM

vic: I'm with you - I really enjoyed Diving Bell from start to finish. The camera work at the beginning was at times nausea-inducing but it gave me a real feel for what he was going through (I think) and I thought his long-suffering ex wife was beautifully played.

Posted by: missh at April 30, 2008 11:10 AM

testing

Posted by: twat at May 8, 2008 12:47 PM



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