Pajiba

Wow! Is that a sweater vest on that zombie?

BWeaves, don't make me come over there.

Romero needs to stop. Actually, he needed to stop two movies ago. I love the man for what he accomplished, but Land of the Dead was basically a better-executed Sci-Fi Channel movie, and frankly, he has absolutely nothing new to say. Basically, this is The Blair Zombie Project, which is too sad for me to contemplate.

George. Please. I'm begging you. Do not sully your legacy any further. Just go quietly, gracefully.

you know TK....an honest to goodness authentic George Romero zombie would make an excellent addition to your army

think about it! he is a natural zombie leader! he created them to be what they are today, he understands them!

and it would also ensure he stops making movies that do not credit his name

killing two [zombie] bird with one stone

just sayin

Dear Christ, that looks like my Nana on Thanksgiving...

The fact that the college students grab vid cameras instead of even prestending to make even a minimalist effort to help is just so mind splinteringly stupid that I had to leave the fucking theater.

Yeah, I'm the first to say that the GenX/GenY are self indulgent selfish self centered "Everyone look at me and how cool I am" douchespasms, but not THIS badly.

Barf.

That is an awesome sweater vest! Look at that stitching around the neck, and it's a little loose so's you don't get that Leonard Baxter pocket protector imprint from the inside shirt -- even during a zombie apocalypse, it's important not to have unsightly bulges in the sweater vest.

All the cool guys keep a low profile with the pocket protector, which is part of the beauty of the sweater vest. Also: cooler arms.

And the film: Yes, it sucks the butt crack. I remember sitting in the theater in Park City thinking, "Fuck me, I could have taken the early plane home." But it does provide some pointers about not getting caught up in videotaping the onslaught from the MurderTank. First the flamethrower and rocket launchers, THEN videotape the aftermath. Or just have spambot auto-tape the whole thing from the MurderTank computer-brain.

Are there zombie spambots? "Commmmpuuuterrrrr braaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssss ...."

A stiffly acted, ham-fisted zombie movie? Noooo.

You know what else were bad movies? All of the rest of Romero's movies.

I think that picture is staged. Zombies for the most part don't look directly into the camera when eating, they more or less look away and their eyes are usually rolled back. No self respecting zombie would be caught dead in such an ugly Tee shirt, it's not even a fucking V neck for heavens sake. And the hair, are you shitting me?

The zombie in that picture looks like Stellan Skarsgaard.

(h)

"If you walk away from Diary of the Dead with "Duh...maybe man is the real monster" reeling through your head, it won't be because you parsed out the subtext, it'll be because nearly every character in the film said as much every five fucking minutes."

And also because...ya know...that's pretty much been the point of all of Romero's movies. Well, that and delicious brains. The "crazed survivors are more dangerous than the zombies all around them" theme has been going from day one, and the "You know what's bad? Consumerism" message joined in around the first Dawn of the Dead. He really just has nothing new to say.

To be fair, it seems to be a common theme of zombie movies - the "28 X Later" films spring to mind, with the soldiers offering the most horrific acts of violence both times - but if other franchises are doing the same thing better in a genre you created, that's gotta suck. Poor Romero. Maybe he just needs a hug? Or, you know, make him join your zombie hoard. Either one's good.

Not only was this film really, really bad, but it pissed me the fuck off when they referred to female zombie in scrubs as the nurse and male zombie in IDENTICAL scrubs as the doctor.
Misogyny, assholes, do a shot of whisky with me!
And Josh actually says, "this is social commentary." Um, yeah. Commenting socially isn't really the same thing.

The exposition is dull and occasionally moronic, and the characters are woodenly acted stereotypes who spout one-liners that would make Vin Diesel cringe.

Sure, but would it make David Caruso cringe?

Mark, you can suck the biggest hole in my ass.

Romero's earned the right to make B-grade horror movies. Yelling at him for making a bad movie is like scolding a fat kid for eating his birthday cake. It's just going to happen.

He gave birth to the genre. Not just zombie, but infusing political messages in your horror movies. If he wasn't the granddaddy, he's at least a favorite uncle. Sure, he's lost a step, but you know what? If nobody's going to take away George Lucas's toys, then the better of the Georges gets to keep making sloppy gorefests too.

I thought this would be great, because rumor had it the entire thing was shot on camera phones, which would have been a bigger, better message. But don't forget. Every one of Romero's movies have been a riff on a decade. This one was a riff on the 2000's. A decade where people are made television stars for videotaping themselves getting hit in the balls, or because they exploit the illness/death of a loved one to get more text votes. A decade so wroth with apathy, that nobody WOULD fight back against zombies. We're halfway to a fucking infiltration as it is. Shit, most people will be watching the spread of the zombie apocalypse in the glow of their monitors or on MSNBC8: The Ocho. Shit, we've had President Dorkenbomber in office for two years, and nobody's tried to get him impeached or declared shenanigans. We tried to oust Clinton for getting a hummer from a fattie.

He might have done it ham-fistedly, but at least he tried. He didn't just pump zombies full of Red Bull and give some big-boobed avenger a machete and a sawed-off shotgun.

Disappointing, but not all surprising. Land of The Dead was abysmal. This sounds like more of the same.

Go read World War Z for your zombie fix.

most people will be watching the spread of the zombie apocalypse in the glow of their monitors or on MSNBC8: The Ocho

I'll wait and catch it on DVD in the MurderTank. I've got way too much stuff stacked up on Tivo right now.

how come zombies can remember how to walk and grab but not drive or use keys or open doorknobs? walking is a learned behavior (ask anyone who's been comatose for a while and has to relearn it). and if they're dead, what difference will it make cutting their brain from their spinal column? they're dead. their organs are dead. if they have motor functions, then it's more than just their brains working.

that being said...

i was surprised i liked "28 weeks later" as much as i did. the last half hour was "meh" but the whole typhoid mary concept was pretty neat.

Jesus, Happy Camper, you must be a fucking blast at trips to the movies.

You know happy camper I love to nitpick the technical points of films and work out how bad stuff couldn't really happen. But even I can accept that dead Zombies, with no ATP synthase! can still have functional muscles. So some bits of the brain work and some other bits don't. Maybe motor skills learnt before the third year remain viable but skills learnt later are cut off? Myabe it's a plot device? Or maybe zombies don't really exist? !

MAYBE IT'S JUST A GODDAMN MOVIE.

insertclevernamehere said:

"Romero's earned the right to make B-grade horror movies."

He's never made anything BUT Grade-B horror movies, so saying he had to somehow earn the right to do so is moronically stupid. What precisely did he have to do to earn this right, suck off and get fucked up the ass by a gang of homeless bums.

Thing is with Diary of the Dead, Romero didn't make a Grade-B horror movie. He made a Grade-Z piece of shit.

Yes, Ben. Yes, George Romero sucked off and got fucked up the ass by a gang of homeless bums. That's what it was. That's exactly what it was.

What I'm saying is, yes, he's earned the right to make a "low-grade" horror movie because he's never made them high-budget. He's NEVER made them anything but low-budget. Right around the time he was orally and anally violated by these redundantly homeless bums you speak so sagely of.

What I'm mostly irritated about is that Romero doesn't get any respect. Yeah, he's fucking up in his old age. Yes, he's making some bad films. But Dario Argento hasn't made a great film in a much longer time, and nobody's calling for him to cash in his filmmaking card. I'm saying give the motherfucker his due, there's more going on there than just bad filmmaking. Yeah, he may have Blair Witched it, but he fucking gave birth to the Blair Witch, and fucking The Last Broadcast that they stole the idea from. So while I'm not blaming anyone for ragging on what was a spectacularly bad movie, let's not go shitting on George Romero. He's had it rough, what with all the fucking bums bumfucking him and all.

But I know, Ben. That just makes me a shitcaked cakeshitting butthole caked in cakebutt. Whittle me with your witticisms, you lord of poesy. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

Whoa now. I never said I don't respect the man. I just think he's past his prime... don't get me wrong, his prime was a thing of fucking beauty, and he's made some stuff that I'm honored to have on my shelf... but now he's beginning to resemble those aging athletes who are missing a couple of steps and don't realize they should hang it up.

I just want my memory to be sweet and clean, that's all.

insertcleverusername,

Aww isa widdle boy fwoing a tantwum because the big bad buwwies pushed him in the mud puddle at recess and shoved his face in the mud yet again? Do the widdle boy want a pity party for himself?

Explain this bit: "So while I'm not blaming anyone for ragging on what was A SPECTACULARLY BAD MOVIE, let's not go shitting on George Romero."

Who then is supposed to take the blame for this atrocity and crime against humanity? Romero wrote the shitty script which included the crappy dialoge which the actors had to say and he directed and produced the pus caked abortion, so how exactly does he not come in for even 1/4 ounce of blame for this shitheap? In what Bizzaro universe does THAT happen, 'cause I'd REALLY like to go there, unless of course insertclevernamehere lives in that particular universe, which I'll bet cash money is the case.

Dear Ben,

I hardly think a movie, awful though it may arguably be, can be qualified as a crime against humanity. Also, I am curious as to why you're so anally fixated and obsessed with pus. Do you suffer from a medical condition of which you are ashamed? Are you acting out? Perhaps seeking help for your rectal maladies will heal more than just your tortured sphincter.

Love and Preparation H,
Sarina

Damn, I'm supposed to go to a party celebrating the DVD release of this tomorrow night. I'll still go, my friend's husband is a culinary student. But the movie sucks, really?

I'm not the biggest zombie movie fan, but all my friends seem to be. So much so that they have Zombie Apocolypse plans for survival. I don't know if it's an Austin thing or what, but I only seemed to meet all these people upon my moving here.

Wow, even Ben showed up. I was just following the MST-related headline and find this got to a dust-up in short order. Damn, Romero inspires some strong feelings.

Look, I own a copy of Land of the Dead. To this day, my zombie-fixated ass can't watch Night of the Living Dead in its entirety without taking several breaks to alleviate the itching panic attack stirring in my brain.

Romero is the grand old master poo-pah of zombie flicks.

However I don't for a minute think Romero's penchant for interjecting heavy-handed social commentary into his gorefest zombie flicks always works.

So there.

And insertclevername, don't be busting on well-endowed zombie warriors. Cup size does not keep a woman for kicking some undead ass. Discrimination hurts everyone, dude.

And machetes happen to be very useful when fending off flesh-eating ghouls. I ask for one every Christmas. Why my husband has not gotten me one yet is a mystery.

I agree, Jay. Strong Feelings. However, the one shining beacon of hope in this thread, amidst all the turmoil and fighting, is the love in TK's posts. I feel like he sees Romero as a kindred spirit, a fellow zombie wrangler. I just wish we could all see the world through TK's eyes. (Without the blinding rage)

I nominate Ben for a grisly but amusing death, captured on video for the world to enjoy. It doesn't have to involve zombies, although that would introduce an entertaining vein of poetic justice to the spectacle. If zombies aren't in the cards, however, I think most of us would settle for seeing Ben's intestines pulled out by a pool drain. Imagine his amusing gyrations and comic exclamations as he tries to stuff his organs back into his anus! Big laffs!

T-Rex, if looking at the world with a constant, blinding rage is wrong, I don't ever wanna be right.

Note to self: Best way to rile up the Pajibans? Get them into a discussion/bitchfest over zombies!

As for Romero, it's not a surprise. Hell if George Lucas and John Carpenter can deliver their worst work in years, why not him? Yes, the man delivered one of the greatest movies ever and then followed it up with one of the best parables in movies ever and did it with buckets of gore to go along with it.

But that doesn't mean he is immune from criticism or from delivering a lesser effort. And like the other George, Romero seems to have stuck to his one gear (zombies) for far too long. And instead of trying out something new, he keeps trying to find new ways to redo something old.

Instead of being innovative, he's being repetitive.

BTW, I'll agree with whoever said World War Z. Read that sucker. Or go get the audiobook. That's a great zombie story.

Note to self: Best way to rile up the Pajibans? Get them into a discussion/bitchfest over zombies!

Psht...that was never a secret. But if you want a real free-for-all...use the dreaded m-word...inappropriately!

Shadows, I am now plotting your death.

BFFredo - please don't speak of what John Carpenter has become. That is actually more painful than Romero.

Is that Sean Penn?

Shadows, I am now plotting your death.

Still trying? That last batch of zombie assassins didn't come home, TK...take a lesson from that.

Meanwhile...my turkey-breeding programs are progressing nicely...

Is another zombie war brewing? This time with turkeys vs. zombies? I don't think BarbadoSlim survived the last one. Think of the casualties! ... Aww screw it, *starts stuffing shells into his shotgun* (Perfect for fowl OR The Undead!)

Do we really care about his legacy? Really. I think George is the only one who should care at all about that.

"The zombie in that picture looks like Stellan Skarsgaard.
Posted by: Julie at May 19, 2008 4:02 PM"

I think it looks like Liz Lemon's boyfriend, The Beeper King. :D

Hey, I may hate zombies, but I respect Romero and his creation of the genre. Anyone that can instill such a deep-rooted fear in me with just one film is okay in my book.

Still, and with all due respect, fuck him and his fucking zombies.

what a sad, sad day.

i remember as a young lad receiving a VHS copy of "dawn of the dead" for my birthday from one of the reviewers on this site, which sparked my love of early romero ("the crazies" nonwithstanding).

and then to bring it full circle, watching "diary of the dead" with one of the reviewers of this site and being incredibly pissed off at the cinematic abortion i had just sat through.

i've got nothing to add that everyone else hasn't already, but i think romero is grasping at straws for some reason (anyone ever hear of his "diamond dead" film that almost came to fruition with johnny depp?). he's got better in him. he's no lucas, who's gone off the deep end. i just think romero needs some tender love (and some savini) to get him back on track.

and then i go and read that he's prepping "diary of the dead 2". WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Haven't I seen Tim Robbins wear that sweater in another movie?

I honestly can't figure out what this sentence means:

"Yeah, he may have Blair Witched it, but he fucking gave birth to the Blair Witch, and fucking The Last Broadcast that they stole the idea from."

The "fucking" seems to be in the wrong fucking place in that sentence, and only serves to perhaps state that Romero had relations with a movie.

insertclevernamehere & dorkenheimer,

Now that I had a decent nights sleep, I realized wait, I'm doing it again. Nevermind that shit. My outbursts take a lot more energy than i can afford to spare. Sirs, I'm sorry.

Oh and, I love this place.

The worst part was how obviously computer illiterate he was by the shitty mistakes he made in the movie.

Hint: digital video doesn't distort like a VHS tape when you're rewinding it.

And even the story itself doesn't fit. It kept talking about how the 'media' was trying the hide that the crisis was a zombie outbreak, yet every broadcast save one or two mentioned the zombie outbreak.

Hell even the premise of filming was flawed. "People need to know the truth!"

Uh, yeah because in the age of the internet only one person can reveal the truth, and during a zombie outbreak people are going to be hitting up youtube just for kicks.

Come on George, don't tackle things you can't really properly grasp.

It's "Pittsburgh", not "Pittsburg". It's a city, not a town. Hence the "h".

Here, I'll give an example: I am a douchebagH. See?

Yupgiboy, Nice.

Couldn't have put it better. Kudos on the brave and honest review.