Pajiba

Hmmm...sounds like someone should take all copies of this film, throw them into the air and shoot them.

What was the secret message scattered throughout the report. As we supposed to decode the letters or rearrange the words? It almosts seems like you were taken as a POW while watching this show, and tried to ask for help anyway you could. If this is the case, blink twice...or type help.

Oh, Agent Bedhead.

...Is this, like, some kind of Pajiba hazing ritual? Or are the boys just picking on you to see if they can make you cry?

My heart goes out, it really does. Hang in there.

Christina Moore doesn't look anything like Denise Richards! Her boobs are nowhere NEAR as big.

All I could think when of when I saw the preview for this bit of excrement was, "which poor pajiban is going to have to watch this crap?"
Now I know. My sympathies Agent Bedhead. I think you're allowed to smack someone for making you watchi it!

Wow, such a review takes courage and determination and you have managed to watch such a crappy film you REALLY didn't want to see just so you could make us fellow Pajibans smile.
I fully support your review on such a terrible abortion of a film.

Wait a second . . . who said I didn't want to see this film? Oh wait. Look at me . . . I've got italics, baby! - AB

Trixie, I thought that same thing as I was shaking my head in the theater waiting to see Hot Fuzz. Some drunk college boys were laughing hysterically at the preview, yelling "git 'er done!" and whatnot, and I just wanted to weep.

Okay, sorry for this, but in the second paragraph don't you mean "...desert area 500 miles outside Mexico City"? Wouldn't 500 miles outside Mexico be, you know, another country?

Of course, I'm happy to say I don't know enough about this movie to know where it purports to take place.

Duly noted, but it's also strange that a military aircraft would fly over Mexico on the way to Iraq. At a certain point, I had to rule out common sensical geography while watching this movie. - AB

I know exactly what you're talking about Brianne - I had the same experience when I went to see Hot Fuzz - only the trailer was for Norbit. I was leaning over to my companion (so that I could explain how it looked like the film summed up everything wrong with humanity and that the only way I could possibly excuse its exsistance was if it was acting as an early indicator of the apocalypse) when I realised that literally every other person in the theatre was howling with mirth. A little part of my soul died at that moment.

Oh yeah, I'm never seeing this movie. I'm praying with all my might that it never reaches the UK.

This is the second review of yours I have read. This is the second one that sucked, was worthless, was badly written and contain between nil and zero insights or original thoughts.

Go back to lame commentary on celebs, this review has to be a worse piece of work than the movie you seem to be describing.

ae, did we just read the same review? O.o

Well, I enjoyed it. Far more than I would have possibly enjoyed even this movie's trailer. I really, really pity you, Agent Bedhead.

Oh, ae. When life gives you lemons, it's not always easy to make lemonade.

I thought Agent B's review was just fine, given the material she had to work with; and for the record, I thought your review of her review was mean-spirited, unjustified, and poorly written.

Last time i checked, noting the fact that the same 3 jokes repeated over and over ad-nauseaum, pointing out characters that represent the lowest common denominator (as do their audience), and noting that a film has NO redeaming value at all was a damn FINE way to review a picture. Call me crazy though.

Who knows, maybe AB was too polysyllablic for you AE? Hmmm...maybe if someone were standing in front of you jingling something shiny while you read, it would have made more sense.

And lastly...what kind of DOUCHEBAG comes to a movie review website and critiques the critic? If you're opinion actually mattered for a shit, i swear that paradox would cause the universe to fold in on itself...and if not that you would at least look like a humongously self-centered asshole.

Go back to editing you Star Wars fan film, read your AICN breaking news!, and allow the rest of us to come here for what we want...good reviews. Talkbackon that....

bitch.

Oh...and BTW...good review AB. Fuck this movie.

...when life gives me lemons I throw them at people like ae.

I started to post a retort to ae's asinine comment, but I knew that someone like TK, PissBoy, or Manny would come along and eviscerate ae much more eloquently than I could. So pleased that I was not let down.

PissBoy: Hahaha! Well said all around. (and boy, do I feel like a douchebag for critiquing the critique of the critic...oh, my head hurts...)

I say, Bravo Agent Bedhead! A great review. I have been waiting to comment on your work, and with this one find your work to be most in-sync with the Pajiba standard. And I have not yet offered this leaf to Mr. Williams, as fine as his work may be. Again, a bravo and huzzah! I trust you enjoy your place amongst the Pajiba Pantheon! Cheers!!!!!!

"what kind of asshole..." etc.

That's the beauty of the net. Ignorant, talentless mediocrities like Agent Bedhead can kiss up to a site owner with traffic, and get the enormous prestige enabling it write unfunny, inept, unnecessary and worthless reviews (see, I can be as redundant as she!), and also beautifully, I can post saying "hey sycophants, the emperor has no clothes", sit back after ringing the Pavlovian bell of dissing the queen of you no-getting-laid webmonkeys and read and enjoy as suck-ups like you and your buddies can attempt to defend a talentless hack with no depth, no educated frame of reference nor, what is most important, entertainment value, with your mouths afoam. "Mebbe if I 'eviserate' her savagely enough bedhead will notice me! Oh please, god, let her notice me!".

And yes I came back just to enjoy you mouth-breathers defending your imaginary 'net gf against anyone who has the gall to point out that her one-liners about Brit were as cogent as these "reviews" she persists in posting. You'd think you were all personally and literally getting sucked off by the agent instead of just having her suck at writing.

But I guess the quality of the review matched the quality of the movie the bedhead reviewed, so we have achieved symmetry, at least.

Now ab, sooth your widdle bootlicks' shattered sensibilities and untwist their panties. They seem pretty upset. Agent Bedhead's fannies read like agent bedwetters. Or, as rednecks like the ones in her latest screed might say of the review, she sure shit the bed.

Agent Bedshit. I like it.

It's a shame you appear to be so angry ae, you actually seem fairly amusing.

Why are you so very, very upset?

I'd agree that it took Agent Bedhead a little while to find her feet but I don't think her review was anywhere near bad enough to warrant the response she got from you. Is there perhaps some kind of deep seated issue that you need to address concerning gossip bloggers? Are you channeling severe emotional pain relating to the male population of the internet? Should we perhaps consider organising a fundraiser?

I only ask so that I can understand you better. There seems to be quite a lot of hatred towards people you've never met before which in my limited experience doesn't exactly class as healthy.

I recommend deep cleansing breaths.

Wow! ...AE ...Man! You got us. I mean, what can I say? You certainly proved you superiority with the opposite sex...with your witty barbs against the no-getting-laid webmonk...err...wait a minute...WTF are you doing posting comment responses at 3:40am? Someone with as scintillating a sex life as your should be in the middles of the flesh totem at 3:40am while some hot piece of ass screams your name, but I'm completely sure that has to happen for you on EVERY other night of the week. just not this one right? Right.

No wait! I've got it. You took all your day using a thesaurus to use the biggest words you could find so that MY previous attack seems completely unfounded. Kudos to you AE. Kudos. Now i don't want to read too much into your attack but I'm willing to bet I can NAIL down who you are in about 4 sentences. First (and we'll start a little earlier in life just to make sure we get to the root cause of your sandy vagina)...you started drinking coffee at entirely too early an age, paying upwards of $3 for your grand-latte cup of make-me-an-asshole, often spending your time (apart from your aforementioned sexual exploits of course) sitting in a Denny's late at night writing emotional, painfully simple songs about the boy/girl who, yesterday, broke your heart. but you never got to tell him/her how you truly felt because you dropped your trapper keeper in a puddle and his/her phone number washed off the front. You moved on to college (not a large one, but not community) where you always made your Philosophy class seem more important than it was, and would repeat relentlessly whatever nuggets of information you managed to soak up, to your friends each and every friday night in a new Denny's in this new college town. (Those Fridays when you were, of course, not out filling your personal memoirs that would read like a 'Dear Penthouse Forum' letter). Then...within the last couple years you got out of school and had to find a real job because your Indy-Zine failed to take off, which is OK because your back-up job as a giggalo is just enough to get you by, while you look down on the rest of us pleebs with your amazing vocabulary and commanding libido.

What's that? NO, you say? Well then you're just a fucking asshole who needs to take at least one moment every day to try and feel better about yourself by trying to prove how much more intelligent you are...and of course YOU NAIL ALL DA PUSSY YOU WANT! So, yeah, congrats on all that and be sure to let us know how much you rule, but keep it wrought with wit, m'kay? And oh yeah...go fuck yourself.

...and yes I said sandy vagina. Flashback humor is funny.

Thank you for pointing out the homophobic overtones that are required for these kinds of movies today. Just like Wild Hogs, this is another movie that will earn far more money than it deserves, which would in fact be whatever monetary equivalent there is to a big steaming pile of...well, you get it.

As a side note, imagine if all of the money used to create this movie and spent by the happless viewers were rerouted into, oh I don't know, education or America's infastructure. I think that representation of waste is all the more depressing.

So AE-
If you're so let down by this review, then by all means, post your much better written one on here and let us all evaluate it for you. Hello? AE? Are you still there? Step up to the plate, my friend.

Wow...you guys put in way more effort than the comment section of any review of any Larry the Cable Guy vehicle deserves.

I have to say, the comments section has been far more enjoyable than the actual review.

A little web combat is always fun...

I agree- I thought the movie was funny as hell!