Pajiba

Deal Breakers:

1. A man that calls women "bitches". As in, "So I was talkin' to this bitch and then she..."

2. A man that spends more time and/or uses more hair product than me. I'm all for looking good, but that flat iron is mine!

3. Jealousy... can't handle it, won't have it, next.

Head Scratchers:

1. A man that can't appreciate certain movies, types of music, or songs.

2. Someone that doesn't read for pleasure. It borders on a deal breaker, but as long as they don't mind if I read... I can live with it.

Headscratcher: The boyfriend doesn't like music. I am a music junkie -- I listen to something in every genre. We are each perplexed at the other.
Dealbreaker: ignorance of basic grammar, misusing the word "literally," and espousing any opinion without backing it up. Oh, and pro wrestling/nascar afficionados need not apply.

Oh! First comment!! Twee!!!!

Deal Breaker ... People who get excited about being the first commenter.

Deal Breakers

1. Being rude to waiters/service people, or family members.
2. Bragging about money or status.
3. Bad driver.

Head Scratchers
1. Boyfriend will get up/stay up till 5am to watch a Formula 1 race, at least it's not football.
2. My roadrage annoys the hell out of him.

Dealbreakers:

1 - Eating fast food. My explanation for this is way too long to go into here.

2 - Having bad teeth. I feel shallow for this one, but that's the way it goes.

3 - Being overly sensitive. I don't like stereotypical "dudes", but I need my man to be a man.

Headscratchers:

1 - I married an academic, and I can't stand academia. I don't mind being in it long enough to gain necessary degrees, but to make a career out of it is too much. The pomposity and competitiveness of that world is almost unbearable. I really didn't think when I married him that, ten years later, he would be working his way into a PhD program. I probably should have guessed though.

2 - As for his headscratcher, a big one is probably my crazy as hell family, especially my mother. His family unit is pretty small, and mine is overwhelmingly large and easily takes over every situation they're in. I was actually worried when we first got together that he wouldn't want to stick around because of them.

Dealbreakers:
1. nearly any form of conservativeness. I am just way too liberal to handle that.
2. Thinking there is some line between "friends" and "lovers" that can not be crossed. I once dated a guy who honestly believed that you should never treat your significant other like a friend. Which was bad, since we started out as best friends, and while I was thinking "cool, I'm hooking up with my best friend," he was thinking "now we can't tease eachother or ever have any fun that's non-sexual." gee...wonder why that one didn't last.
3. Leering at other women while I'm around. This includes flipping through your friend's copy of playboy while ignoring me, when I'm sitting right next to you. Man, I was stupid in college.

Head scratchers:
1. as I mentioned in a comment in the trade roundup, my S.O. will watch any sequel, no matter how much he hated the original film, no matter how obvious it is that it will suck, he'll still give it a shot. And then he'll sit me down and force me to suffer so he can talk to someone about how bad it was. I would never have gone past episode 1 of the star wars prequels if not for him. He also has a fondness for renting obviously bad indie horror films (Anyone else seen "Hunting Humans?")
2. The S.O. also drinks alot of milk, but he has a tendency to pour more than he's actually gonna drink in a glass. He'll drink about half of it and then leave the glass sitting somewhere strange, where I'll find it days later, when all the milk has congealed. Why can't he just pour out the amount he's gonna drink, or put his dirty cups in the sink? I can't explain it, and apparently neither can he.

Dealbreakers:
1. A guy who is conservative politically and really close minded about it.
2. When a guy is pretentious. So basically all hipsters. I cringe at the thought of dating one.
3. Any guy who owns a gun.

Headscratcher:
My ex boyfriend really liked Tolkien. He was kind of obsessed with it. I couldn't really understand the draw. I drove him a bit crazy because I hate running and he always wanted us to go running together.

Deal Breakers:

1) Being a racist/sexist/anti-semite. If you don't know what it feels like to be hated for who you are, well, then, you aint lived.

2) Liking Nickelback... or Creed.

3) Lacking passion(s)... and no, managing your hedge funds does not count.

Headscratcher:

I can understand it when a woman isn't a sports fanatic... but to not understand the heart of the game slows me up, ie: i cried when the phillies made the playoffs. you don't have to, just understand why I am crying. Get it?

1.) Is rude to my mother, father, sister or any other close people in my life.

2.) Sticking one's tongue out during sex. It's just weird, what are you, a dog?

3.) Tries to make me pay to see a bad movie. I'm okay with seeing a bad movie, but don't expect me to pay for my ticket if you're dragging me to it.

Dealbreakers:

1. Being self-congratulatory and condescending about only enjoying books or movies that aren't mainstream. Yes I read and loved Harry Potter, and no it does not make you more special that you haven't.

2. Not using the proper use of then/than, their/there/they're etc in emails. A girlfriend recently tried to set me up with a friend, and his introductory email was filled with misspellings and the use of "ur." No. Just...no.

3. Anyone who swings too conservative.

Headscratchers:
1. I agree with Lauren, people who don't read for fun. Reading is such a huge part of my life, and though it's not necessary for a guy I'm with, it is a hugetastic turn-on.

Deal Breakers

1) Messy hair. Call me shallow or sexist but if a woman has messed up hair all the time, that's a glaring sign of issues. Not weird hair style...just dirty or unkempt. Sure sign of crazy.

2) Noisy eater or eats with their mouth open. Check please!! Like NOW!!!!

Head scratchers:

1) Ignoring the simple car problems until its totaled. I shit you not, my girl ignored the fact her trunk was filling with rainwater and it rusted to the point that groceries fell through to the parking lot one day. She didn't notice the pool she was dragging? And no, you can't borrow my car. This is why we don't have nice things...

3) She gets mad at my snappy comments to stupid questions. WTF? You used to think it was funny.
ME watching football on the couch
GF walks in and asks "Watch ya thinking about?"
ME "The Crisis in Darfur"
I know you want to connect with me, but do I bug you when your relaxing?

Mick-hee! I cried too and my roommate mocked me mercilessly for days.

Deal breakers:

1. Fat.
2. Smoking.
3. Tattoos.
4. Eats deep fried anything, and refuses to touch a veggie.
5. Has different taste in furniture.

Yes kids, #5 is a biggie. If you want to know if your significant other is perfect for you, go furniture shopping together. If he likes leather Mission style, and you like toile and French Provincial, run for the hills. Let's face it, you'll actually spend more time with your furniture than you will with each other, so you better have the same taste.

Dealbreakers

1.) Someone who can't laugh at themself. Deep down we are all dorks, and if you are too cool to admit that, I want nothing to do with you.

2.)People who only wait for there turn to talk and don't really listen.

3.)No brains. I don't care how hot the woman is, if she is a complete ditz I can't even find her attractive.

Headscratcher

1.) People who do Sudoku puzzles, I just don't get that.

Dealbreakers:

1. Has a penis.

Dealbreakers:

1. One time, a guy I had been dating wrote me an email and spelled "tomorrow" as "2morrow". That was the deciding factor in breaking up with him. It takes more time to find the two on the keyboard than to just spell the damn word correctly!

2. Anything overtly cheesy or schmaltzy early on in a relationship, when it can't possibly be genuine, is a dealbreaker.

3. Bad teeth.

Headscratchers:

1. My boyfriend sometimes dresses like a grandpa, despite the fact that he is 24. On anyone else it might be a turn-off, but it's oddly endearing on him.

2. He works in politics and I am not only uninterested in politics, but borderline ignorant on the matter.

Dealbreakers:
I told my husband on our wedding day that I would forgive him of anything except the following:
1) infidelity. i don't care what your reasoning is, once that trust is broken, you don't get that back.
2) abuse. for pretty much the same reason.

As for headscratchers, I don't have many, except I did come home from work yesterday to find my husband sound asleep on the couch with a chocolate bar completely melted under his arm, and all over the couch. How does that even happen, I wondered to myself, as I got some wet paper towels and proceeded to clean him. It's a headscratcher.

Deal breakers:

1) someone who is really liberal and close minded about it.
2) anyone who thinks they are smarter than everyone else
3) anyone who thinks that their subjective judgment as to the worth of a piece of art (movie, novel, etc.) is the "truth" and that others' subjective opinions have no value (i.e., "all popular movies or popular music sucks").

Great Mango - I'm not sure who pissed in your Cherrios, but it wasn't me. And, just so you know... there is no great wisdom or higher intelligence in a persons inabilty to be excited or pleased by the small things in life.

In college, my dealbreakers for a date were:

1. He wasn't interested in traveling or living anywhere besides his hometown.
2. He was afraid to try new or unusual food. (In one such case, a date called my perfectly ordinary salad "weird.")
3. He didn't read voraciously (and in particular, didn't love The Lord of the Rings).
4. And in lieu of a headscratcher, I'm adding a 4th dealbreaker: A guy who wears a vest without a shirt. I was once hit on by such a person and can't imagine why he thought I would assume he was straight.

Dealbreakers:

1. Men who are truculent.

2. Men who lie about insignificant things - they'll have no problem lying about more important things.

3. Men who constantly stare at other women in my presence.

Headscratchers: (No SO now so these are from the past)

If he wears more jewelry than me. He actually had a jeweler - for himself.

If he confuses the spelling of similar sounding words i.e. - mourning for morning. He did this all the time but this is the one that got to me the most.

Deal Breakers:

1) If she wears Uggs or Crocs in public, its over.

2) Littering, just once and its done.

3) Scratching or biting during the fun and sexy times. It hurts, it does not excited me, its over.

Headscratchers:

4) I moved to California from Kansas a little over a year ago. So far, none of the girls I've met can tell me where Kansas is. It bothers me, but I realized I would never date anyone here if it was a deal breaker.

5) An ex just told me, "you have a big ego. and it's frustrating, because you're a nerd, so you shouldn't have one."

My Ultimate Headscratcher:

My girlfriend is by far the WORST story teller of all time ever. She builds and builds and fluffs and fluffs, and NOTHING ever comes out of it. Sometimes it's cute and fun to tease.. but only sometimes.

Lauren-that just made me love you :)

And Jen310-truculent is such an awesome word, I need to use it more often.

I forgot the biggest deal breaker of all - infidelity.
Thanks for reminding me groanygirl.

Deal Breakers:
1)Poor spelling/grammar (it's terrible, I know, but I just can't respect a guy that doesn't write properly)
2)Being shorter than me (I'm barely 5'4", so this really shouldn't be that difficult)
3)Giving butterfly kisses - *shudder*. The only guy that ever did this to me repulsed me to no end. I dropped his ass as soon as possible and have not tolerated such behaviour since then.

Head Scratcher:
My current guy has insisted that I become more physically active and that I eat more, his reasoning supposedly being that he loves me and wants me to be as healthy as possible. I am doing this because it makes sense, but some little part of me is screaming at him inside my head and wanting, for purely rebellious reasons, to just be sedentary and smoke cigarettes and substitute wine for food.

Thanks Julie! It's nice to be loved! (Just out of curiosity, what did I do that was love-worthy?)

mango sorry, lauren. mango asshole. :(

It's cool, Mango... we all have our days. ;) I hope your day improves!

Dealbreakers
1- cheating
2- hating on people (knee fat, crocs in public...no one is perfect)
3- not having basic manners or social skills
4- camping

head scratchers
1- forgetting important/significant personal dates
2- unwillingness to try new flavours
3- not using a top-sheet when making a bed

Dealbreakers. All three of these are from one girl who was actually fun, and not the great doomed relationship of my lifetime, just the funniest one:

1) Doesn't read. I don't get it. It's not like she just watched TV all the time, either. She didn't even have a TV. I have no idea how she passed the time, because

2) Not into music. Like not even passively. She had two CDs, one of which I bought her for her birthday, which fell about two weeks into our five-week dalliance. I almost dumped her upon her forming the sentence, "I think I'm going to get the new Jewel CD." A CD collection that is one-third Jewel in the year 2002 is a dealbreaker.

3) Trying to get me to change the way I dress. My wife is doing this, but subtly and keeping my personal style in mind. This one girl thought I should get some black pants so I looked more B&T. That was it, right there.

Headscratchers:

1) Girls who are conservative. There's nothing in the conservative credo (to my mind, anyway) that doesn't directly benefit men (usually white) at the direct expense of everyone else. I want a companion, not a doormat. I can't honestly claim this is a dealbreaker because I dated some a girl who I found out to be a Republican in college - to her credit, it was before George W. came along and shat everywhere, and I hear she has revised her views accordingly.

2) Girls who don't drink, but don't mind if I do. Heavily. I'm not complaining, I just can't imagine why you'd want to be around me while I'm rocking out if you're not joining in. I've heard the drunken voice mails - they're not charming.

Lauren-your "pissed in Cheerios" comment...because hee. :)

Dealbreakers
1. Lack of a sense of humor
2. Rudeness to any human being in the service industry or my family
3. Pretentious, self absorbed, pompous pretty boys...stick to the 22 yr old vapid bimbo's and celebutards please.

Headscratchers
1. Tolerates camping, but isn't a lover of the outdoors. This is No.Cal, I look forward to "camping season" all winter long.
2. A manic picky eater, for example, did he REALLY have to wash his hamburger in the sink because there was mustard on the bun? Super Taster my ass.
3. Dislike of any sports, I'm not a huge fan, but I do love to watch a game or two now and again.

Dealbreakers
1- cheating
2- hating on people (knee fat, crocs in public- I broke two of my toes and HAVE to wear them while my poor feet heal -...no one is perfect)
3- not having basic manners or social skills
4- camping

head scratchers
1- forgetting important/significant personal dates
2- unwillingness to try new flavours
3- not using a top-sheet when making a bed

Dealbreakers:
1. I'm just so shocked and awed that someone is willing to touch me let alone be sexual with me that I'm desperate to stay with them no matter what deficiency. Harelip? 400 pounds? Wandering eye? Hardon for Jesus? I don't care. Just love me. Please, God, love me.
2. Whiny people with low self-esteem.
3. Hypocrites.

Deal Breakers

1) Being a giant racist/sexist piece of crap.

2) Sexual quirks, such as being a Furrie or Giant Baby that needs spanked. I'm pretty sure I'm being polite with the word 'quirk' here.

3) Expecting me to follow blindly into the fray, with no input whatsoever.

Headscratchers

4) I grew up with all of the men in my family able to fix cars, various house problems, build things, etc. Mr. McGee can't figure out how to change the filter for the furnace.

5) I also grew up with dogs and cats around all of the time. Mr. McGee is afraid of big dogs, but willing to get a small, wussy dog. Sadly, I may never realize my dream of having my 3 year old ride a Great Dane through the living room, wearing only boots, a pull-up, and her cowboy hat.

Great Mango - I'm not sure who pissed in your Cherrios, but it wasn't me.

Not sure why someone has pissed in my cherios. I'm not allowed to add my dealbreakers? They are wrong b/c they differ from yours? There are plenty of people above who said they were not interested in a conservative - why is my saying I'm not intersted in a liberal so bad? I've known plenty of close-minded liberals. I assume that is what you took offense to, as my other dealbreakers are fairly neutral.

there is no great wisdom or higher intelligence in a persons inabilty to be excited or pleased by the small things in life.

Ahh, the type of pithy, vague cliche that makes the person who states it feel like they are intelligent. I find much excitement and pleasure in the small things in life. Which is exactly why I dislike people who look down their noses at anyone who has a different subject beleif in what is art or what is entertaining. For instance, I love cheesey 70's and 80's music. Some people don't. I don't want someone telling me that I am "wrong" b/c I like a certain kind of music or a certain kind of music. I find that arrogance both pretentious, and idiotic, as it is all subjective.

That does not mean I don't enjoy reading the reviews here, as I like seeing other people's opinions. I just don't like people who think that such subjective opinions can be "right" or "wrong".

Deal Breakers:
1) Ani DiFranco fan. Or, worse, puts on Ani during coitus...this is the kinda thing, hearing "My vag-na is a tractor..." that ruins one's life.
2) Smelly chocolate lip gloss. I mean, c'mon.
3) Farts.

Head Scratcher:
4) Paranoia. Fart-caused by paranoia.
5) Her not knowing the Germany was once split in two, evil, Godlessness reigning on one side, pure, honey-covered gravy on the other.

Dealbreakers:

I agree wholeheartedly with Jen -- lying. People who lie without compunction about little things have no problem doing it about big things. And worse, you start to go into automatic lie detector mode at all times.

Not wanting kids is for me a dealbreaker. Saying "I want kids. But not now." is fine. Never is not.

Guys who can dish it but can't take it. You can be touchy as you like as long as you don't tease me. Or you can tease me, as long as I can tease you back. But you can't tease me and then get pissed off when I do it back.

Headscratchers:

My boyfriend loves torture porn. He's the sweetest gentlest guy I've ever been with, and he watches something like one crappy slasher a week. In his defense, while he always asks me to watch them with him, he also always graciously accepts my refusal to do so.

I think for him the headscratcher is my habit of reading. He reads, but not a lot. I average about 2 books a week, and all being equal buy the longer book, cause it lasts longer.

Great Banana - I think that you're confused. Look again, that comment was to Great Mango, not you. And I thoroughly agree with your entire response, had it been directed at your previous comment... but it wasn't.

Shane, avoid Julie.

Keelan, you and Bweaves might want to hook up because there is no way she's going to find a straight man who's decorating tastes even BORDER on French Provencial. Unless, Keelan, you're not a lesbian.

Great Banana, you only listed one point, albeit you did list it 3 times.

Dealbreakers:
4. People with no sense of irony.
5. People who don't know the difference between a banana and a mango.
6. Blood relation.

The Deal-Breakers:
1. Any interest in joining the US Military (I'm nineteen, therefore this is still a potential issue)
2. Rape humor/acceptance of such
3. The belief that there is something 'morally or fundamentally wrong' with homosexuality

The Head-Scratchers:
1. When we have the TV on but aren't really watching it, and a movie is on which he has seen but I have not, he will wait until a 'funny' scene (which I might not find funny for whatever reason) and tell me to watch it, when I really do not care.
2. He's probably somewhat annoyed by my complete apathy about all things video-game related.

Now that I'm happily married I know more about what my dealbreakers would have been (does that make sense?). Some are unpopular. Here goes:

1. Doesn't want children.
2. Comes from a background radically different from mine with respect to religion, socioeconomics, "values" (whatever that means to you), etc.
3. Linear/not sarcastic.

I actually don't have any physical/clothing dealbreakers. For the most part, those things can either change or will recede over time.

Head-scratchers:

1. My husband doesn't read fiction. Oh, he tries. And tries. He's not some weird anti-intellectual or anything, but he's really more of an Economist kind of guy.

2. My husband was in a fraternity in college - one that refused to go co-ed when the rest of his alma mater did. We laugh about it.

Dustin, did I read "all-girls" in print? Surely you jest.

My long-standing deal-breakers:

1. Lying of any sort. I just can't take it.

2. Physical abuse.

3. Infidelity.

Head Scratchers:

1. When the husband is with his buddies, or around his mom, he regresses to the age of 12. Without fail. It really makes me want to strangle him/them/her.

2. The husband is a conservative Republican. I am not. We get along really well, but every 4 years, he turns into Bill Reilly. I can barely live with him during these times, but I list it as a headscratcher because I deal with it. It's how I'm planning to get my heathen ass into heaven someday. If it exists.

Deal Breakers:

1. Infidelity (I know, that seems quite obvious, right?)
2. Cannot be a fan of NASCAR or country music (I can't handle the "culture" and I know, it's a bit pretentious of me).
3. No sense of humor. If you can't make me laugh, it's over.

Head Scratchers:
1. My hubby has become completely obsessive compulsive within the last year when we leave the house. He checks all faucets, lights, windows, etc a zillion times. It drives me insane!!

2. His daily hygiene habits. I have wavy hair and even when I straighten it, it usually takes him longer to get ready. He uses a 6" paddle brush on his 2" high hair. What drives me even more mad is the gross layer of hair spray that has now become a staple on our bathroom floor.

Julie - The true shame was we couldn't continue shedding tears of joy. However, I am from NY... and the fun that I will have at the expense of Met fans will create an offseason of good times.

- and, a few of you have mentioned farts, and yes, I agree... smelly and a turn-off (let's call it a lack of couthe) but whoever you go for isn't going to be gas free forever, right? I have a friend who farts whenever he meets a girl, yes, on purpose. More than half of the time I've witnessed this, the response has been a giggle of some sort... AND they stick around. What the hell is wrong with people.

Deal breakers:
1. Sticking tongue in ear while making out
2. Hickeys (goes without saying, ok?)
3. Kissing badly (like trying to suck and hold on the tongue).

(Heh, these all have to do with kissing, I know, but it's damn important, ok!?!)

Headscratchers:
1. Playing internet games all day.
2. Dungeons and Dragons (I played once for like 5 minutes, my brother has friends that play for hours and hours).
3. Violent video games (I just don't get it, must be a guy thing)...

Deal Breakers
1. One-Uppers - I cannot stand someone who is constantly telling me how they did something better/earlier/faster/cooler than I did.
2. Republicans.
3. Intolerant people. I'm all about live and let live (except for Republicans, apparently).

Head Scratchers
1. Re-watching the same movie over and over and over. Really, Ocean's Eleven wasn't that good.
2. Never finishing a book. How can you read 30 pages of a book and never pick it up again?

Dealbreakers:

1) Not allowing me to be me.

2) Not standing up to me when I become a hellacious, selfish, annoying little bitch.

3) There is no three. It took me 25 years to find someone who could walk the line between 1 and 2, and that's really all I need.

Headscratchers:

1) He likes to fish. A lot. A whole lot. To the exclusion of everything else in life. But he has sacrificed some of his fishing time for me and the littlun, so I've learned to deal with coming in second to a bluegill. Also, he's a well-educated, liberal bibliophile and not one of those moronic neanderthals you see on those (godawful) fishing shows.

2) I like Bravo reality TV too too too much. I think he's developed a healthy hatred for Tim Gunn as a result, which is just so sad.

Mick-so true, the joy was fleeting, but at least the Mets had it worse. :) And regarding your other point-I briefly dated a guy this summer who farted in front of me on purpose THREE times on the first night we hung out. It was...illuminating. And ballsy. Luckily I'm not easily offended :)

Deal Breakers:

1. Conservative. I just can't fuck a Republican. Not even a pity fuck, because he'll try to assume control of my uterus anyway.

2. No Body Hair. That's right--I like hair. Chest hair, facial hair, and even a lil butt hair is okay by me. I cannot deal with hairless wonders. Head hair, however, is completely optional.

3. Overt Political Correctness/No Sense of Humor.

Headscratchers:

1. My current bf is a hardcore gamer, and I just don't understand it. If it makes him happy, it tickles me to death. I'll play Wii and Guitar Hero with him all day long, though.

2. He likes to cook and clean more than I do. Which is actually awesome, because I have no interest in either.

Deal Breakers:
1) Non drinkers or Recovering Alcoholics
2) Drug abusers-- theres a time and a place for everything, and its called college (weed is still allowed)
3) Can't watch tv with him without him oodling outloud at how hot some chick is, a life time of that-- no thanks
4) Awkward balding-- shave it off buddy
5) Hairy backs-- we can have a waxing night!
6) Burns too easily in the sun-- sorry, I'm a sun babe
7) Armband tattoo
8) Hates dogs
9) Racist
10) Afraid of flying

Headscratchers
1) Does not find Scrubs funny-- we may not be right for each other
2) Does not find Family guy funny- but what guy doesn't?
3) Watches anything on MTV-- this might be a deal breaker really
4) Drives a pick up truck
5) Lives with his parents
6) Picky Eaters
7) Has a Midget porn collection or any similar strange fetish collection
8) Thinks Kareoke is lame (does not mean he has to participate)
9) Hates his mother
10) Has made out with a cousin (I don't care how removed they are and if it was just for practice)

1. Men who spend an inordinate amount of time talking about, watching or masturbating to anime.

2. Men who kiss with their teeth (It seems obvious to me that teeth should be removed from the kissing equation but alas, there seem to be a decent number of dudes who feel lost without their pearly whites.)

3. Men who are obsessed with dating incredibly beautiful women but have a. never modeled underwear for a living, b. are themselves morbidly obese or remarkably unattractive or c. are douchetools who treat women like personal accessories that can be upgraded or discarded at a moment's notice.

Despite my previous nitpickiness, I have been known to put up with more obvious offenses like, oh I don't know, cheating, arrogance, vanity and general douchebaggery which lowers the ante on my actual standards quite a bit.

Headscratchers:
I'm a sucker for date-stubble and smokers.

Dealbreakers:

1. Not sharing my faith, I respect other faiths, but want to be in a relationship with someone who shares my beliefs.

2. Laughing loudly and repeatedly at his own jokes (yeah I've broken up with someone for this)

3. Rudeness or cruelty to children, animals, or service people. If you're mean to a kid, or rude to the waitress, it says far more about your character.

1. Any use of the word "d'oh". I adore The Simpsons but that phrase irritates me a great deal when uttered constantly by twenty-something professional men.

2. The non ironic use of the term "lady friend". It sounds vaguely skeezy.

Dealbreakers:
1. Drives an American car, especially a pickup truck. Sorry, I like my men in foreign cars, especially coupes
2. Chews with their mouth open and makes slurping noises while eating. There is no bigger turn off
3. Listens to bad music (especially country and the likes of Nickleback)
4. Wants children

Deal Breakers:
-Body odor/facial hair gone awry. Shave your neck beard, it's hideous.
-Being from Red Deer, Alberta and male. There's something in the douchewater.
-Patronizing me, that includes bringing me ugly flowers to make me feel better instead of actually talking to me.

Headscratchers:
-My S.O can't stand up to anybody but me. I think it means he knows I love him and won't reject him, but it's disappointing.
-Driving like an asshole in my family sedan. It's not cool to tailgate people in my car, how many times do I have to say it?!
-Bizarre taste in novels.

Dealbreakers:

1. Being a clingy man-child. Actually, the man-child thing alone I take issue with, which made enjoying "Knocked Up" a struggle. As sweet as Rogen's character was, I could not help but cringing that "Ew, I've dated that. And that sat around smoking pot in my apartment and ended up maiming my car while driving it home drunk (I used it as a dealbreaker, though it was more of a pass to a guilt-free breakup than anything) He also yelled out "Giggidy" a'la Quagmire when he climaxed once, as well as "Ooooooh- FACE!" on a separate occasion. Definite dealbreakers in their own right, but as they are linked to pop-culture references I'm tying them in to the man-child complaint.

Also, I wanted to mention them for entertainment value.

2. Bad teeth. Be it a ganked up grill, discoloration or, -shudder- missing teeth, I cannot get past it.

3. Being a social conservative. If you think there's something "wrong" with being gay or that minorities are inferior or that women should not have the right to choose, then you're out. I'll chat up Gappy McGankyGrill in a "Family Guy" tee-shirt before giving you the time of day.

Head Scratchers:

My boyfriend uses the wrong form or your/you're and their/they're /there in texts and emails, and somehow I get by. I barely even notice it anymore, and it was something I always gritted my teeth at with other guys.

He is compelled to mention that it confuses him that I "preen" every morning, no matter what the days activities hold. Hiking? Swimming? Whatever, I'm not going out without curling my lashes and applying mascara. Deal, my love. Deal and can it.

Also, whoever it was, when I saw the "first!" comment I immediately sighed and thought "Oh, great, the 'firsties' from the AV Club postings have migrated." I enjoy the little things in life as well, but celebrating "firsties" is supremely annoying.

Then again, I hate the word "cupboard," so what do I know.

Deal Breakers:
1. Picky eaters.
2. Anyone who doesn't take women seriously and refers to them as "chicks," "girls," etc.
3. Anyone who does not possess a shred of humility and/or obviously thinks he is the strongest/smartest/funniest/handsomest/etc.

Head Scratchers:
1. Becoming a quivering, clammy mess when sick, and retreating from the world so much that he lets his cell phone battery run down and doesn't even check his email, such that his girlfriend across the ocean gets really worried because she hasn't heard from him for five days.
2. The seeming inability to realize that the bottoms of cups, dishes, and bowls ALSO get dirty sitting in the sink and therefore need to be scrubbed just like all the rest!

Thank you Dustin for running this (I'll let let you know where to send the check).

Dealbreaker:
1. Male
2. No Collge Education
3. Still a teenager

Headscratcher - borderline dealbreaker:
Just sitting there on the subway. No headphones or read material, just sitting there. I don't get it - I go mad if I am more than one stop away I finish what I'm reading.

Headscratcher
1. Not liking music - Don't need to have my taste (hard to quantify that considering I bought the new albums from Serj Tankian and Carrie Underwood on the same day) and you don't have to have an emotional/borderline religious response to the lyrics (I usually don't) But you need to listen to something. How do you not?
2. Oprah
3. Dane Cook Fan

Julie - Calling you "Broad" or "Honey" on a first date is ballsy. Farting 3 times is, well, difficult to grasp. I did have a girl vomit on me on a 2nd date... she came from a party and was drunk. It was winter, the temperature change from outside to the warm bar made her sick. PLUS, she puked and ran. I was more offended that she showed up to the date drunk.

Man, I'm not surprised so many people don't like bad teeth, but dealbreakers? I've dated a couple of guys with bad teeth, and it wasn't because of bad hygiene, it was just that they came from working class backgrounds and their parents couldn't afford dental care when they were growing up. If you don't have access to that when you're a kid you're pretty much screwed. My current S.O. has spent a lot of money fixing the damage done by that early neglect (obviously, he considers it a problem, but I never would have known that if I'd turned him away for having obvious cavities and crooked teeth). Seeing how excited he was when the dentist told him she was gonna put white fillings in the front teeth, because it meant he would be able to smile with his mouth open almost made me cry. And it makes me want to shake some compassion into the people who think of dental problems as a dealbreaker.

dealbreakers:
1) unkind to animals
2) right wing conservatives
(I can tolerate as friends, not as lovers because I can't have sex with someone I think is that stupid.)
3) someone dummer than I am (see #2).

headscratchers:
1) mr. wsapnin is catholic (I grew up American Baptist-a relatively progressive church)and is a little right of center for me. (But at least I have cured his homophobia--yea me!)
2) mr. wsapnin's obsessed with AC/DC. (like nails on a chalkboard for me.)

Deal Breakers:
1. Okay with going without sex for more than three days. I need someone to match my libido.
2. Ignorance of basic history and/or literature. I once knew someone who thought Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.
3. someone who hates others' beliefs. i don't care what you believe or don't, but don't try to convince me that homosexuals are going to hell or that you have to believe in jesus to go to "heaven"

headscratchers:
1. socks on during sex. come on, are your feet really that cold? i've asked my s/o, but he just laughs and says he doesn't know why he does it. than DON'T. wool does not equal sexy.

Dealbreaker: homicidal tendencies

Headscratcher: doesn't enjoy MmmBop. How is that possible?

Hee...it's probably why it didn't work out. Sweet Jesus, arriving drunk on a second date though, THAT is ballsy. I don't bust out my beer helmet until at least the third.

deal breakers:
1) racism, homophobia, sexism
2) any drug or alcohol abuse
3) jealous/possessive behavior
4) theist
5) doesnt get why ann coulter is sick

deal breakers:

1-mouth breathers. (i know it's shallow but omg, close your mouth!)

2-vegans that want everyone else to be vegan (i don't care for politicizing one's diet. it's like abortion, you should have a choice and it should be respected.)

3-hates his momma or sisters (always a bad sign in a man but also applied to women who hate their father and brothers. no good will come from this person. some exceptions allowed however but in MY experience, these are people to stay the hell away from unless you thrive on bullshit drama)



head-scratchers:

1-being ok with my bf's fervent need to follow basketball, baseball and football (he's got all the seasons of the year covered with BALLZ!). i never thought i'd be ok with dating a sports junkie. i, personally, LOATHE sports.

2-he's republican (fiscally conservative moderate) while i'm blend of socialist, communist and bleeding heart liberal. our poli-conversations are COLOURFUL, to say the least.

I am disappointed that I need to point out here, of all places, that "Conservative" and "Republican" are not synonymous. Do people realize that the Conservative Democrats were the ones gunning for slavery and the Liberal Republicans (led by Lincoln) were fighting to abolish it? An old example, but one that I am sure everyone will understand. For effs sake, people. If you are going to get on your high horse and talk shit about Republicans, you should at least be smart enough to realize that there are both Liberal and Conservative Republicans as well as both Liberal and Conservative Democrats. Learn to use the proper title when you diss a partisan group, please. Not all conservatives are Republican, and not all Republicans are conservative.

This lack of distictive understanding is always a head scratcher for me; it can be a dealbreaker if I am feeling particularly riled.

Dealbreakers:

Stupidity and/or ignorance - which I find explains a lot of the behavior I can't stand in people.
Smoking. The smell turns my stomach, and it's a stupid habit.

Head-scratcher - I've been with otherwise lovely men who simply can't grasp the notion of cleaning up after themselves! I'm no Monica Geller, but seriously, I don't get guys who can't even 'see' that the dishes in the sink have gone mouldy, or that clothes ought to be picked up off the floor occasionally. And it's not as if they were waiting for me to do it - that's what they are like all the time. Beats me.....

Deal Breakers:

1. Giving me an ultimatum. If you do that, I will walk away with no questions or explainations.

2. Like many others, being a social conservative. Or just being a jesus freak in general. You can go to church on sunday and I won't care, just don't expect me to go with you. Once you get preachy, or honestly believe there is something wrong with homosexuals, minorities, etc., I will kick you to the curb so fast it'll make your teeth bleed.

3. Horrible grammar. This bugs me to no end. If you're constantly texting, IM'ing, or emailing me using AIM speak (u/ur/2), it's only a matter of time before I go completely ballistic. Yes, I know there are grammatical errors in my post. No, it doesn't make me a hypocrite.

Headscratchers

1. Not being curious or being willfully ignorant. Sure, I understand that there are some topics most people could give two shits about, but there's got to be *something* that sparks your interest.

2. Liking no talent, hack comedians. Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia, Will Ferrel etc.

An interesting exercise might be to combine all the lists here and see how much of a deal breaker/head scratcher I am across the entire sample. Barring the obvious ones that some of you listed that I would hope should go without saying, I'm a little more unacceptable than I would have guessed.

That said, I'll give it a try...

1) Hates puppies. I don't even own a dog, but how can you hate a puppy?

2) Excessive religiosity. Some religiosity is o.k., but excessive in this case refers to someone who is such a Bible beater that she would have a problem with my beliefs. Essentially, I'm saving her the trouble of breaking the deal.

3) Does not enjoy sex. What can I say? My libido is substantial, and I love all the intimacy that comes with sex. However, I seldom get any or have a significant other, so this hasn't really come up yet. It's just a fear at this point.

I could come up with some more serious ones, but I'll leave it at that.

Head scratchers:

This is mainly in response to one above: thinks Family Guy is funny. So that should answer your question - there are guys who think Family Guy is not funny. In fact, I think it's unwatchable.

Drives a fuel-inefficient car without mitigating circumstances. We all have our vices, but get with the program.

Maybe I'm at fault for scheduling the date knowing damn well that she was coming from a different party... just didn't think she'd show up tanked.

Come to think of it, Sambuca was her drink of choice.

Come to think of it, that embarrassed the hell out of me when she ordered that on the first date.

Come to think of it, I just thought of a new dealbreaker: wine, beer, scotch/whiskey/bourbon, tequila, vodka (only when mixed, if straight, must be while eating pickles)... all acceptable. Sambuca, Jägermeister, fruity nastiness, etc. Unacceptable.

lesson learned.

Dealbreakers

1) Expecting monogamy. I simply can't do it and I won't be dishonest and cheat.
2) Any woman who thinks that bisexuals or leatherwomen shouldn't be part of the "movement."
3. Anyone who expects me to leave NoCal. Did that once for someone and never ever again.

Headscratchers

Her -- She's fussy about little things--watching her getting settled in bed is kind of mindboggling.

Me -- I'm far too lackadaisical about keeping track of my own bank balance for someone on a really limited income and I know it drives her nuts.

Dealbreakers:
1. Substance abuse at any level, including getting shit-faced with your friends on the weekend. It's taken me long and painful years to learn this lesson.
2. If you are so dependent on your friends' opinions that you make all your decisions based on them, you are not for me and shouldn't waste anyone else's time either.
3. Inadequate vocabulary. I know it's shallow. This includes overuse of the word "fucking" in any grammatical capacity--I love that word and appreciate its many uses, but I don't want you using it at dinner with my parents.
4. Loud obnoxious behavior, particularly in public.

Head-scratchers:
1. Subjugation of women makes me chafe, but if I love you I will even give your gnarly toes a full-on pedicure with hot oil massage...just because I enjoy doing things for you. Don't start expecting it, though, 'cause that's when the gravy train jumps the tracks.
2. Tall muscular/burly guys make me feel nervous and vaguely menaced, but then I see Ray Stevenson and just want-want-want some of that.
3. I really like longer hair, but receding hairlines just wreck me.

Someone (I'm too lazy to go back and see who) commented that being married made it really clear what your dealbreakers really are. If I had it to do over again, the dealbreakers would be:
1. Won't stand up to a pushy/judgmental/overprotective/hateful family who doesn't like your SO despite NEVER having met him/her. Honestly, cut the damn apron strings!
2. Close-mindedness or hate or disdain for others in any form, be it conservative, liberal, sexist, racist, homophobic etc...
3. Hitting on me by describing exactly what kind of a doctor you are, including defining the words "oncology" and "hematology," as well as reciting most of your resume. In fact, any kind of condescending introduction is out.

Headscratchers (from the current relationship)
1. How he has no apparent control over his facial expressions or tone of voice. He can give you the "death" look while talking about dinner and not realize it.
2 How I will read every single comment on a website, even one I only have a passing interest in (like gossip sites, not Pajiba).

Dealbreakers:
1) Weed (I'm from Norcal so this pretty much means I'll die alone, but I'm okay with that so long as I never have to smell the foul stench or hear the empty rationalizations again. One of my ex housemates was a dealer and I have a lot of latent rage relating to that).

2) "Suck my dick" (or any variation on that sentiment) as a valid response to a discussion.

3) Being a commenter on Gawker.

Headscratchers

about him: my ex had no reaction beyond mild amusement to one of our professors displaying a massive crush on me. There were only twelve people in the class so it was EXTREMELY obvious. Other people were telling me to transfer out, he was like "Meh. Make sure he doesn't follow you home." I lived a hundred yards from the classroom.

about me: despite item #1 in my dealbreakers, I can quote Half Baked from memory.

Woo hoo Claire! Someone finally gets it right!

Dealbreakers:

1. Short in stature. Yes, it's incredibly shallow. But for someone who's 5'6" and likes heels...short is kind of funny and awkward for kissing.

2. Bad hygiene. Bad breath, bad odor, greasy hair? Run for the hills.

3. Clingy. As an independent young woman, I find this need to follow me around and constantly be around me a little cloying. I prefer independence.

I'm not sure how to answer all this. I'd say stupidity and vulgarity in general are dealbreakers (a lot of stuff) or headscratchers (just a few items). One can include anything in that, considering a lot of dealbreakers come in batches: people who like really bad music are usually close-minded, not very bright, not humorous or funny, tend to dress too seriously or too slutty, and so it goes.

My own headscratcher is usually the opposite: being a little too rational at times, or maybe too detailing or extreme, even if I put it lightly when it comes up. My positions on religious matters, for example, lead to huge interrogation marks.

Deal Breakers:

1. Swears in public, no matter who's within earshot.
2. Excessive promiscuity. I hate a slutty man, so sue me.
3. Pooping with the door open.

Headscratchers:

1. My husband won't touch animals, not even clean, domesticated pets.
2. He also hates most people, but will happily play for hours with any children (this may stem from his having come from a family of nine).

Dealbreakers:
1. Cries during sex
2. Writes poetry
3. "Pro-life"
4. Homophobia

Headscratchers:
1. I watch bad TV...alot of bad TV. He likes the Discovery Channel and History International. I did get him to like Pushing Daisies and The Office though, which are decidedly the highest quality shows I watch.

2. He will not listen to me when I tell him something important and then five minutes later, he'll ask me the exact question that I answered five minutes before. Drives me bonkers.

Apart from the obvious (lying, cheating, being a psycho criminal and other stuff which should make anyone run for the hills), these are my dealbreakers:
1: Smoking. I can not stand people who smoke, even if it's just one cigarette.
2: Allergic to dogs (or dog hater). Sorry, I won't choose you over my dog, so go away.
3: Non-readers. People who don't read are just weird.
4: Picky eaters. God, I hate people who don't appreciate different kinds of food and don't even have the guts to try something new.

Headscratchers:
Golf. What is the appeal?
Bad taste in furniture. It doesn't matter much, I'll just decorate the way I want anyway and get rid of your ugly stuff.

Dealbreakers:
1. Social conservativeness.
2. Smoking.
3. Not getting along with my family.

Headscratchers:
1. My fiance is a habitual snoozer. As in, he needs therapy or some sort of intervention. He snoozes for upwards of two hours nearly every weekday. That's hearing the alarm go off, what, more than ten times? Shudder. I don't know how he functions afterward - I'm convinced it is not a healthy way to start the day.

2. He thinks I dress a little too conservatively - in particular the large number of cardigans in my (Floridian) wardrobe. He wonders why I won't just wear my little tank tops or halters on their own - but I'm all about balancing the skin factor and prefer my cleavage with covered shoulders.

Dealbreakers:

1) Religion in any form. I have no problem with religious people in secular situations but don't think it's realistic to expect that a relationship with a theist coud ever be free from the influence of their beliefs.

2) Misogyny, 'cos I happen to be one of those ladyfolks.

3) A taste in music/film that is dictated entirely by one particular radio station/magazine/website.

Headscratchers:

1) "Man 'flu". Mr Vee is regularly rendered useless by mysterious maladies with symptoms undetectable to all but himself. When afflicted he hides in bed watching the Italian Job and wallowing in self pity. He has, however, nursed me through several nasty illnesses, including a kidney infection, with nary a complaint. (Although he did manage to give me food poisoning when I was recovering from the aforementioned infection.)

2) Poor spelling and grammar. Mr Vee's isn't great, though it's one hell of a lot better than that of most people who attempt to be grammar nazis on t'internet. Also, all of his pre-university education was in German, so I can't really hold it against him.

Bonus dealbreaker: Usage of "t'internet" by non-Northerners, especially if they say "the t'internet". Piss off, it's ours!

Dealbreakers:

1) Doesn't like to try new foods.
2) Doesn't have a raunchy sense of humor.
3) Chews with mouth open.
4) Looks for the bad in people by default.

Also, I'm embarrassed to say it but I once broke up with a girl who held her burgers with the thumb on top and the fingers on the bottom. I found this so strange that I couldn't get past it and couldn't focus on her intelligence, her charm, or amazing body. It's incredibly petty and it's not something I'm proud of...but isn't that weird?!?! Who holds a burger that way?

Headscratchers:

1) My wife likes most of the shows I like but then watches horrible stuff like Clarissa, Sabrina, some crappy show called City Kids, etc.
2) I once dated a girl (she was very innocent and that was part of the charm) who called her panties (which I believe was one of my "words I hate" on another comment diversion) "underpants". And the worst was when she would incorporate "underpants" into dirty talk. I honestly felt like a molester.

Dealbreakers:

1. Alpha male types--I just can't help being uncomfortable around them.
2. Stupidity. I'm a bit of an intellectual snob, and he has to be able to keep up. (See also, subcategories 2.1: bad grammar, 2.2: ignorance, 2.3: bigotry, 2.4: not enjoying reading)
3. No sense of humour, or bad sense of humour. Equally fatal.

Fortunately, I've lucked out and found a keeper, but I think we'd both admit there are some headscratchers:

1. He believes a movie can be "so bad, it's funny." (Sorry Pajiba, I know you love Evil Dead as much as he does, but...ugh.)

2. I'm pretty sure I've caught him mentally rolling his eyes when I feel the need to point out and laugh at some random grammatical error/typo. To be fair, even I know I'm being obnoxious sometimes...

Deal Breakers:

1. Does not like animals. Sorry, but I'm such an animal lover that if you can't get alone with at least dogs OR cats ... it's not going to work.

2. Dungeons and Dragons. It may not be fair, but as soon as D&D gets mentioned, my head completely checks out.

3. Not liking, or at least seeing the musical merit of, the Beatles. Seriously.

Headscratchers:

1. Being very religious. It won't *break* the deal, it'll just cause lots of tension that needs to be reconciled in other ways. And PS, don't even start to try to convert me, because then you've just moved yourself into 'deal breaker' territory.

Dealbreakers from the Past--

1. We were making out and he whispers drunkenly in my ear, "mmm, you give me a chubby." WTF?! This was not in middle school. We weren't 12, he was 31. And a lawyer. I got up and walked out. Shallow, maybe, but it made me feel like I was making out with a child. Eww.

2. He could not stop gushing about how he'd never met a girl like me before, didn't know girls like me existed, etc. And what was it that was so rare and lovely? I play video games often (and well!) and read some comics. And do not watch Sex In The City. That was it. Didn't make it past our second date, when we saw Transformers and he just shrugged at my annoyance with the blatant racist/sexist crap.

3. He was a gorgeous South African soccer player. Who turned out to be a racist Afrikaaner bastard. I tried to "understand where he was coming from" for a while and he had me almost convinced it was just a cultural difference (shut up, he was pretty and had an accent, I'd already hit it before finding out) but it was too much. He used the word "keffir" and I pulled over and made him get out in the rain in some random parking lot. Then I drove home and called his machine and played N*SYNC's "Bye Bye Bye" so that he'll forever be the racist douchenozzle that got dumped in the rain by Justin Timberlake. HA!

My Headscratcher--

Why I haven't completely broken it off with the current Slampiece, who uses horrible IM speak in texting me.

Insignificant Other's Headscratcher re: Me--

Why I'm single. I mean, I play Halo 3, fer chrissakes!! ;)

No current headscratchers (single for the moment), but here are the dealbreakers:

1) Doesn't enjoy women's company. Dude, if you only see women as vehicles for sexual release, we have a problem. We can't have sex all the time - although it will be often, I can assure you. I'm surprised at the number of men who don't really LIKE women. Doesn't happen often, but makes a huge difference when it does. I haven't done a scientific study or anything, but I just assumed that, if you're a heterosexual man with no traumatic childhood issues, you like women. Not so much, I discovered. Me and umption are asses, indeed.

2) Pretension - intelligence is so very, very hot; however, bottom line: you still put your pants on one leg at a time. Get the fuck over yourself.

3) Preferring Buffy over Firefly - yes, I mean it.

4) Kind of ties to number 1 & 2 - blatant disrespect of certain groups of people (i.e. elderly, poor, etc). Look, I'm not saying you have to like everyone, but expletives are in order if you treat someone like shit in front of me. Even if I hear about you degrading someone, it's pretty much over.

5) Not willing to travel. Look, I can be a homebody. But there is so much of the world to see and appreciate. Life is out there, not sitting on your ass analyzing the news.

5) Pussy-footing and weak-willed - sometimes, you have to be diplomatic or put up with crap to get through your day. Sometimes, you have to pick your battles. But either you're a man or you're not. Got a situation, within your control, that's frustrating you? Need to talk about something with me? Get on with it, and stop whining.

Dealbreakers:
1. Poor grammar
2. I can deal with someone not reading - it's a headscratcher, but it's only a dealbreaker when he's proud of not reading and makes pretentious excuses for it - 'I'm way too busy in my important job to read'.
3. Wears a Speedo in public, and is not competing in a water polo match. I have this irrational fear that I'm going to get married, and during our honeymoon in the tropics, my new husband is going to head out to the beach wearing a Speedo, and I'm not going to know what to do.

Headscratcher:
1. An ex used earplugs when he blowdried his hair.
2. Men who blowdry their hair and use product.

My dealbreaker is when chicks don't wanna be tied up, and they complain about it. LEARN THE SAFE WORD ALREADY. That's why we fucking made one. So you can learn it and I can tie you up.

And I hate it when bitches call the cops.

First post...

6. Unwillingness to try new foods, music, movies, cultures, etc.
5. People who are passive about the current state of politics in this country. If you're not outraged, you're part of the problem.
4. Generally accepting mediocrity. I've had dates after bad movies who, after hearing my criticism (poignant, that is), say something like "who cares, it's only a movie..." Well, no shit, but that doesn't give anyone a license to throw a big turd onto the screen.
3. Touchy subjects. People who will not defend their views or opinions. Usually Republicans or blind religious types.
2. Obsessive dog people. I mean, c'mon, are you that needy that freak out about this drooling, dependent, pack animal that you wipe its ass and talk to it like it's a person? I love cats and don't mind dogs, but don't look at me like I farted in church if I don't want to french-kiss Barfy. And the winner...
1. Baby talk. If you're doing it, man or woman, stop. It's not sexy, it's not cute and it makes me feel like you want a parent, not a mate. And for that matter, don't alter your voice in some cutesy way for effect. Ever.

Headscratcher:

Um, I can be a little negative sometimes... maybe...
From my end, she can be a martyr when it's a complete overreaction ("oh, you can't meet me, well okay, I guess you don't want to see me for awhile.")

dealbreakers:

1. men who refer to women as "bitches" and think it's comedy.
2. lack of ambition. i don't care if you are a millionaire or a garbage man, just have some drive
3. rude to service people-it says so much about someone if they aren't nice to waiters and doormen and flight attendants

headscratchers
1. bad taste in movies or music. it will break my heart if we can't enjoy Sundance together but i'll live
2. doesn't like sports. it will weird me out but i can deal
3. conservative. i won't love it, but i won't kick a cute republican out

What does "keffir" mean? I can only think of a lime or the yogurt drink. Am I drinking racist yogurt?

dealbreakers:
1) cell phones as appendages. I don't think I could date a woman under 30 even if I had the opportunity. I think I'd literally have to destroy the damn thing to carry on an extended conversation.
2) Mixing religion and patriotism. That's how fascism and genocide get their start
3) Mixing diet and politics. Sure, nobody should be eating bald eagles, but don't hold it over me if I want to throw some meat on the grill every once in a while.

Headscratchers:
1) Why my girl spends so much time on her feet. She has a whole tool kit just for keeping them lookin right. I'm totally mystified.
2) Tattoos. They were alot cooler when they were illegal in most states. Now Moms dropping off kids at the middle school by my house are sporting ankle tattoos and tramp stamps. Yeah that's a statement.
3) What passes for punk these days. Growing up on X, the Buzzcocks, Iggy and the Stooges, Sex Pistols, and Siouxsie and the Banshees and then all the great postpunk bands, I find it amusing how the term has completely lost its meaning.

Yes, I am getting old

Dealbreakers:

Abuse- physical, mental, emotional, not going to have it.
Racism- also not worth it.
Infidelity- do I need to reiterate?

Headscratchers-

Jaywalking- Can't you just wait for the little walk signal? It's just a second, I promise!
Dave Chapell- I don't think he is very funny.
Sock sniffing- If it looks dirty, it probably is, and you reallllllly do not need to smell it to make sure.

Deal Breakers:


1) Someone who chooses their pets over their significant others. Look, if we've been together for a few months and you're willing to dump me because I am allergic to your dog, what does this say about you? I can't be with someone who values a pet over a human.



2) Being fat. Sorry, it is extremely shallow, but I don't believe in 'more cushion for the pushin.' I should note that my estimates of 'fat' are different than others, and there is a difference between overweight and fat.



3) Having a crazy family. Look, if I plan to marry you, I'm going to have to deal with your family, and if your mother is an overbearing nazi or your father shines his shotguns while aiming them at my face, then sorry, sweetheart. I know you don't control them, and it isn't your fault, but I'm not going to spend the rest of my life dreading holidays.



Head Scratchers:



Total lack of interest in sex. Seriously, what the hell? My expectations for a 'good' sex life is about 2 or 3 times a week, not a month. Its not a deal breaker, cause I can still handle things on my own, but if you can't find the time to have sex with me at least once a month, you can expect some infidelity.

Dealbreakers:
1. A lack of education. It's not that I think less of somebody who's uneducated, I just find that, being an educated woman, I have little to nothing in common with somebody who doesn't have any level of education past a high school diploma. I've also found that dating someone less educated than myself means I have to dumb myself down for them, and no way in hell am I going to do that again.
2. Poor hygiene. Look, you don't have to be the most gorgeous guy going, but at least be clean. And smell good. And wear clean clothes. All I'm asking is that you take the time and make the effort to take care of yourself and present yourself well.
3. Somebody who hunts for sport. Anybody who would gleefully murder an innocent animal for fun is likely to have some serious issues that might manifest in their being abusive jerkoffs later on down the road, and I have no interest in that.

**4. Smoking. Look, smoking disgusts me. I grew up in a smoke free household and have little tolerance for inhaling that second-hand filth. BUT I have to say this is a semi-dealbreaker in the sense that if an otherwise awesome guy were unfortunately a smoker, I would probably put up with it. But anybody else? Nope. Seriously, you have to be pretty much my perfect match for me to accept the cigarettes, otherwise forget it.

Headscratchers:
1. I used to date a guy who was a Star Wars fanatic. I like the movies well enough, but I can't understand the crazed fanaticism that they inspire.
2. Another guy I went out with a couple of times wore those button-down shirts with the dragons and flames on them all the time. You know what? Scratch that. Those dumbass shirts are actually a dealbreaker for me, because they usually signal an entire lifestyle choice that includes addictions to anime, dungeons and dragons, and magic cards. So....

Dealbreaker
5.Dragon/flame/flaming skull/some-combination-of the-above emblazoned shirts. Seriously. They're lame.

Dealbreakers:

1. People who can't get their shit together. I understand we all are trying to find ourselves, but if you're 30 and can't live on your own and hold down a job, we're done.

2. Arrogant men who order people around. I do what I want, when I want. Perhaps, this is why I'm single, but I don't care.

3. Stupid people. I need someone who is at least a little intelligent.

4. People who are not into music and/or film. I went to film school and am a certified music junkie. I need someone to contribute to a conversation about these two things.

5. Liars. It burns me up to no end.

Headscratchers:
1. Flaky people who make plans they never keep. This is the large majority of people I've met in Los angeles, and it sucks.

2. People who don't drink at all. I am young and like to have a good time. I need someone who can keep up.

3. People who say they don't dance. You don't have to dance like Usher, but at least sway to the music and humor me. It's very off-putting when someone stands there like a dead rock.

I think it's kaffir-as in Kaffir Boy : The True Story of a Black Youth's Coming of Age in Apartheid South Africa

That spelling correction was for trent880.

Trent880: I can't post the link, but look on Wiki. Except I spelled it wrong, apparently it's "kaffir," sorry. Same as the n-word here. Comes from the Muslim term for heathen or infidel. Oh hey look, religion and hatred, coupled again. Get a room, you two!

The phrase "have i been eating racist yogurt?" has given me the supreme giggles. I get this image of someone looking all horrified what-have-I-done at a spoonful of jiggly white stuff and it is solidly cracking me up. Just me, or is that comedy gold? Maybe I need sleep.

And summerteeth, yes. (nice name by the way) We went to Voodoo Fest for Wilco (see what I did there?) yesterday and stupid Fall Out Boy was playing and we were all cranky about it, grumbling about how it wasn't punk and whatnot when this little Fall Out Tween walks by with a shirt saying If It's Too Loud You're Too Old and I grumped that it isn't too LOUD, it's too CRAP.

Hm. May have figured out great mystery of Why Am Still Single. Is because am an Old Maid. Eureka! And get off my lawn!

Hee. Racist yogurt.

"Dealbreakers:
1. A lack of education. It's not that I think less of somebody who's uneducated, I just find that, being an educated woman, I have little to nothing in common with somebody who doesn't have any level of education past a high school diploma. "

Now, my humble, uneducated opionion may be of no interest to an esteemed college graduate such as yourself, but humor me at least. Classifying intelligence, and a desire for knowledge as requiring a crap certificate for learning how to do keg stands on mommy and daddy's charge is not exactly enlightened. In today's classist society college and university have become more and more the domain of the rich. Do not disdain against those who did not have your privelige, and judge someone's intelligence on their coversation and personal merit, please.

dealbreakers:
1-hates/is cruel to animals
2-refusal to experience new things (food, travel etc.)
3-video game obsessions (go outside, read a book...anything else!)

headscratchers:
1-abbreviating short words
2-socially conservative people
3-adult men who still act like children around their mothers

1) When their political views of the Israel/Palestine crisis can be summed up by the phrase "Nuke 'em".

2) They watch Fox News. That one should be self-explanatory.

3) If they're shorter/skinnier than I am. I know that sounds shallow, but c'mon. I'm 5'8 and 135, I'm not reaching for the moon here.

1) uneducated, yes I know there are the Will Huntings out there, but I find it too much trouble to sort through the Corky's to find one. And yes, educated does not mean intelligent, but it's a start

2) dependance: I love me a woman who knows how to live life without having to have me there all the time, I like my space too...damn quit crowding.

3) unwillingness to experiment, not only sexually, but to try new things such as going to new places, new foods, trying something stupid cuz it looks fun (like a rollercoaster), etc.

HEADSCRACHER:

1) Toe sucking. I'm willing to do it on clean feet, but that is something that I wonder how it feels good.

2) People who go somewhere to be seen instead of going to have a good time. If you goto a bar, either dance, drink, or pick someone up. If not, get out, you're just wasting space.

dealbreakers:

1. cocaine use. or any other drug besides green, and even that is iffy.

2. lying.

3. lack of critical thinking skills.

headscratchers:
1. A love for depeche mode.

2. Scraping the fork on your teeth.

3. Liking "event" films.

Deal breakers:

1)He doesn't like my baby or my dog;

2)He doesn't like to read AT ALL;

3)He tries to be The Boss of Me. (Only I get to be The Boss of Me!!!)

Headscratchers:

He doesn't like Social Distortion.... I mean, what in the hell is up with that?

He doesn't think I'm the funniest muh-fuker he ever met. Because I assure you... I AM.

Dealbreakers:

1. Wants kids. Like, wants them NOW. And doesn't even consider the possibility of adoption.
2. Rudeness to anyone into the service industry/anyone perceived as "inferior"
3. Sports-related crying. OK, I GET you're happy that your fav team won, but is it really worth your TEARS?

Deal Breakers:

1. A lack of ambition. I don't care what you want to do, as long as you are passionate about something. Unless it's bringing the sport of kickboxing to America. That's just stupid.

2. A lack of intellectual pursuits.

3. The wearing of faded black denim and/or socks with sandals. My housemates in college used to joke about the horror of the "black denim package," but seriously, it's scary.

Head Scratchers:

The Boy does some odd things, like dropping random words out of sentences when he emails.

Also, and this was nearly a deal breaker, the first time he met my mother and my friends was at a dinner party I hosted. He was so nervous that he drank too much, and ended up reciting a really dirty limerick, despite my repeated attempts to silence him. Now it's funny, but at the time, it was mortifying.

Deal Breaker:

1. People who think that being a "social conservative" means that you "think there's something "wrong" with being gay or that minorities are inferior or that women should not have the right to choose."

(People like that are just as ignorant as those who actually think there is something wrong with gays, minorities, or rights for women. Hypocrites.)

yazikus, I don't equate an education to being intelligent at all, plenty of uneducated people are intelligent just as plenty of college graduates are stone-cold stupid. But having dated both educated and uneducated men, I have found that I have more in common with those who are educated, simply because there's a greater chance that we share similar interests. I see how my saying that I've had to dumb myself down can be taken as my looking down on those that are uneducated as stupid, but that's not how I meant it, and I should have chosen my words more wisely. What I meant was that when I've dated uneducated men, I've found that I can't discuss some of the things that I'm interested in, and when I do, I usually either get a blank stare in return or have to explain the most basic of concepts to them, not because they're stupid, but because they are things that may be everyday topics of discussion for me, but that they may not be familiar with.

1) Someone who chooses their pets over their significant others. Look, if we've been together for a few months and you're willing to dump me because I am allergic to your dog, what does this say about you? I can't be with someone who values a pet over a human.

Let's see, dog I've had for 10 years, vs SO I've had for a few months. Sorry, dog wins every time.

Deal-breakers:
1) Cruelty, or even just dislike, of animals. I love my animals more than most humans, so if you can't deal with them, I won't deal with you.

2) Trying to change me, including saving my heathen soul. I'm perfectly happy heathen, thank you very much.

3) Always needing to be out doing something. Sure, going out can be fun, but not all the time. Staying home is grand too.

4) Wanting kids. I don't like or want, so a long-term relationship with someone who does isn't going to work.

1. People who assume a college diploma is necessary to be considered an intelligent individual. (as the college-educated SO of a very intelligent and stimulating college dropout, I say you're just a snob).

2. Arrogance - bragging about your accomplishments, your family's money, how well you play the guitar, etc. Dumping happens faster when said bragging takes place in front of my family.

3. Being rude to cashiers/waiters/service industry employees - If you're an insecure bully who gets off on putting other people down just because you "can", we won't make it past ordering drinks.

Headscratcher:

World of Warcraft

Deal-breakers:

1) Spitting in public
2) Vegetarians
3) Any form of "skinny pants" on men

Dealbreakers:

Rude to service people.

Blanket prejudices of any kind.

Stinky cologne. Ugh.

Headscratchers:

The husband says "nuke-you-lar" instead of "nuke-lee-er" for nuclear.

Clean freak who will put my glass in the dishwasher before I am done using it.

Watches bad - admittedly bad - movies again and again (second Star Wars Trilogy, for example). Complains the whole time about how bad the movie is, and yet continues to watch it. And wonders why I leave the room. If you want to watch a sequel to "Starship Troopers" you will watch alone.

Dealbreakers:

1) Like a lot of people, anything pertaining to hating someone for things they can't help, like race, sexual preference, gender.

2) Pushing me for sex when I don't want it. If I say no, I damn well mean no, fucking leave me alone.

3) Breaking my trust. Look, I don't trust easily. If you cheat, you're gone. If I tell you not to look at something, like my writing notebook, you're gone. If you go behind my back about something, you're gone. If you steal from me, I beat your ass, then you're gone.

4) Being clingy. God. I need my alone time or I turn into the Hulk. This also includes crying like a leetle baby when I have a bitchy moment. No, really. Take your insecurities and go away.

5) People who preach at me. I don't share your religion, fuck off. It also drives me nuts if your answer to everything is some equivalent of 'you must pray to God'.

Headscratchers:

Y'know, I'm not sure I have any. I'm a judgemental and irritable bitch, probably why I don't date, much to my mother's dismay.

"1) Doesn't enjoy women's company...I'm surprised at the number of men who don't really LIKE women...but I just assumed that, if you're a heterosexual man with no traumatic childhood issues, you like women."

Really? Have you met most women? Because I have to say, most women are pains in the ass, and not at all enjoyable. Probably explains why I'm not a lesbian.

"Also, I'm embarrassed to say it but I once broke up with a girl who held her burgers with the thumb on top and the fingers on the bottom. I found this so strange that I couldn't get past it and couldn't focus on her intelligence, her charm, or amazing body. It's incredibly petty and it's not something I'm proud of...but isn't that weird?!?! Who holds a burger that way?
Posted by: Mook at October 30, 2007 5:57 PM"

Mook, I just pulled some muscles trying to replicate that! :D

Dealbreakers

1.) Daddy issues. Sorry, I just can't deal with it. I don't have the time or the patience. I keep thinking that they are going to wake up in the middle of the night screaming "I hate you Dad!" and then I have to put up with it.

2.) Being prone to sickness. I don't want to hear about it. And you talking a lot about it makes me want to date you even less because at a primal level I feel that you are genetically weak and I won't want to have kids with you.

3.) Being unfaithful. Jeremy Piven said it best in the otherwise average film "Family Man." "The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - FOREVER." Word to that.

Headscratchers

1.) Owning a Cat. I hate cats. Not allergic. But, They are proper assholes. And if we are to stay together then we need to agree on a no pet rule.

2.) Having shitty taste in music and movies. I know that opinions are subjective. But, when you say that your favorite movie is "Scarface" and you listen to Yellowcard all the time. Then we are going to have problems. Actually this one is not a headscratcher its a full on deal breaker.

Dealbreakers:

1- Stupidity. I have a low tolerance for stupidity. Stupidity should be painful. I walked out on a girl at dinner because she honestly didn't understand space- outer space. "You mean, there's no AIR? How do the astronauts breathe?"

2- Drunkenness. I don't mind a woman who drinks. I just can't stand sloppy, drink-until-comatose-at-every-opportunity drunks.

3- Racism. Dumped a girl once for referring to black people as n*****s.

Headscratchers:
1- Inconsistent foolishness. My wife is very intelligent- most of the time. But every so often she comes across a basic concept and is completely incapable of understanding it. I got a pay raise (which did NOT move me into a higher tax bracket), and my wife insisted that we would end up with less money as a result. Even after I showed her the math on paper and proved it, she still doesn't believe me.

2- Perpetually-changing enthusiasms. Every time my wife buys a book, she gets wildly enthusiastic about some aspect of the book ... for a few weeks. She tries to drag me into the new "Truth" until the craze wears off and she finds a new one.

We've been married 25 years now. Go figure.

Deal-breakers:
1. Excessive stupidity
2. Hatred
3. Lying cheater or vice versa

Head-scratchers:
1. He's a disorderly, messy, foggy-headed geek.
2. He likes peeps.

Headscratcher:

Its a wonder any of us get laid.

Dealbreakers
1. No college education - Yes, I know there are really intelligent people who never went to college. However, education is my career and if you've never been interested enough in college to attend you probably won't understand me.
2. Doesn't drink. I really don't want to drink alone for the rest of my life - you must pour a pint with me.
3. Religion. Organized religions just don't make any sense to me.

Headscratchers
1. My dislike of camping. I like nature, I just don't want to sleep outside.
2. Video games, I just don't stand the obsession.

Deal-breakers:

1. Chain smoker.

2. Anyone who won't watch a foreign movie just because they don't feel like reading subtitles.
3. Someone who hates kids. I don't have children, and unsure if I will in the future, but if someone can't appreciate the spontaneity, silliness, and imagination of youth, hit the road.

Head-scratchers:

1. Cat people.

2. I dated this one guy for a year who came from a perfectly functional family. I didn't actually believed these things existed before; I thought they were the myth of sitcoms. But no, he came from a perfect, loving family. It was bizarre. They weren't the family that appeared functional, then fought behind closed doors. They didn't stay together for the children. His parents actually loved each other. Fucking weird.

Deal Breakers:

1. Back hair. Superficial, I know, but I don't mean a little patch at the base of the spine or a neck scruff that goes down below the collar, I mean a full-on carpet of back hair that you can braid. I tried to date a guy with that once and the first time we did it I almost threw up. He kept his shirt on, but I swear I could have braided it through his shirt.

2. Any guy who says "bros before hos" without a trace of irony. That's just not cool, and does not generally reflect a healthy respect for women.

3. If a guy hits my dog. No freaking way. The guy with back hair smacked my dog once for just playing to rough. That was the last straw there. I can't tolerate cruelty to animals and I have a suspicion that it means he'll do the same to a chick if she pisses him off.

Headscratchers:

About him: My husband HATES to read. the only book I've ever seen him read was "The Kid Stays in the Picture," and only then because we were on a 12 hour train ride and his iPod was busted and he had nothing else to do. I've tried and tried to get him good books, but no dice.

About me: I think I'm the first girl my husband has ever been with who doesn't look like a supermodel. Now, I'm no hag, but I also don't look like freaking Charlize Theron, which is what most of his exes look like. Plus I'm not exactly the most domestic person you've ever met, and that bugs him--his mom was like supermom.

Dealbreakers:

The general abuser/cheater and all that kind of stuff and here are my weird ones:

1. Having spit gather in the corners of your mouth while talking. It grosses me out to no end. How am I supposed to kiss someone who has pools of saliva just waiting for me?

2. Being a SUPER CHRISTIAN, YEA! I am cool with people's religions, the current bf is a member of the Church of Christ (headscratcher), but for the love of all that is holy in your religion, I have not believed in God since I was about 5 and I never will. It just doesn't make sense to me. You can if you like, and I'll even go to church with you but don't try to talk me into it. It'd be like me trying to talk you out of it.

3. Someone who can't read for pleasure. I understand if you don't do it in every spare moment you have (because i certainly don't), but how the hell can people sit on a 3 hour flight and just stare at the seat in front of them? What are they thinking about? I could see if you were like, sleeping, but I've been on flights/BART/buses where people just stare out in front of them. No music, no book, no magazine, not even a damn pocket Bible.

4. People who hate that I read for pleasure. I had a guy once question why I couldn't just sit in peace on the BART. I said it was because I like to stimulate my mind with reading when there is nothing else to do. I now realize that we're not together because I preferred reading to talking to him.

5. Folks who don't like theme parks/amusement parks. They are there for your amusement. Be amused, dammit.

6. People who willfully go watch crappy movies. Like White Chicks.

7. People who go watch Wes Anderson movies and come back with that nose-in-the-air sense of superiority about how "hipandcool" they are for having seen an "interesting" film this year. I own, on dvd, both Rear Window and Friday and enjoy both of them. Stop acting like you are so enlightened, broaden yout\r "hipandcool" horizons. Same goes for people who go see movies just to say they've seen it. Like The Darjeeling Limited. I am a theater major and I can't tell you how many people have come up to me in class "OMG have you seen The Darjeeling Limited? It's sooooo good. Possibly his best."

8. People who argue with professors. I get it; you're an individual, but please shut up and listen in class. These people are usually the ones who don't listen and then argue some stupid point that the professor cleared up 5 minutes ago when he/she wasn't listening.

9. Theater majors. I am one. I cannot date one. Why you may ask? Because male theater majors are either gay or harboring some weird affection for women or assholes. Total douchebags. They choose theater because they think it's easy.

10. People who go to The Theatah. Not the theater, mind, but The Theatah. And talk about the glories of the new plays at Berkeley Rep (never Repertory, must be Berkeley Rep). "OMG have you seen the new play at Berkeley Rep? It's soooo good, I love that playwright, he/she is fantastic. I knooooow." But if you ask them any details about the play they back away slowly saying "OH you must go seeee it, my words cannot express how goooood this play is." Leaving me wondering if they've actually seen the play or just read some stuff about it.

11. People who shorten words or titles unnecessarily. For The Darjeeling Limited fans who come up to me and ask "OMG have you seen Darjeeling?" or when people shorten play titles. There is a girl in one of my classes who refuses to say A Streetcar Named Desire. She always says "Streetcar". No matter what the context or reason for saying it. She even wrote it down on the top of her notes when we were discussing it alongside this lesbian play (don't ask, I go to UCB).

Headscratchers:
In regards to the current bf:
1. Says "no homo". I know you aren't a homosexual man, your friends know you aren't a homosexual man. Why do you have to preface some of the things you say with "no homo".
2. Sleeps in his roommate's bed with him on occasion. ("no homo")
3. Drinks and enjoys Kool-Aid.
4. Admits that ballet is extremely physically taxing (what guy do you know does that?)
5. Will see anything with a crapload of black people in it just to "support the cause". Honey, I know that we're black and we're proud, but I don't want to give money to Snoop Dogg so he can make Soul Plane 3.

Deal Breakers:

1) Not caring about the environment.

2) Being closed minded--and by that I mean not open to my radical, mystical philosophies. By extension, this means anyone (and sadly, this attitude seems to be especially prevalent among men in this culture) who holds the futurist, mechanistic "Science and Technology can solve everything, and must be carried on by any means necessary" worldview.

3) Not understanding the difference between intelligence and wisdom.

So yeah...I'm never getting laid.

I know that was super-long, but I'm bored and at work and thought of a lot of things that I just can't stand.

Deal Breakers:

1.) She's giving it up to another guy...in the butt. Bad enough to get cheated on, but finding out she's doing things with him that she never ever would do with you? That's going to keep you up nights. Do yourself a favor: convince yourself that it never happened with you because you were just too big.

2.) Catching him/her compromising a method of birth control. Don't think about it. Don't talk about it. Just take your shit and leave. The narcissism and disregard for rational thought necessary to do such a thing pretty much guarantees you've found the shallowest end of the gene pool. At this point, it's probably a good idea to take a few laps before diving in again.

3.) Abandons you when you're sick. Nothing doing. Get better. Then get lost.

Head-scratchers:

1.) My girl does this thing where we download an entire season of a show, then she watches the whole thing while I'm working and complains when I want to go back and watch an episode. Anyone else have to deal with this?

2.) Swallowing. Is it really that bad? Come on. What do you think I'm doing in between swipes of the tongue? You'll eat the weirdest thing you can find on the chinese buffet, but not the love butter of your one and only? That's harsh.

Also, if I may respond to one of Alicia's:

"how the hell can people sit on a 3 hour flight and just stare at the seat in front of them? What are they thinking about? I could see if you were like, sleeping, but I've been on flights/BART/buses where people just stare out in front of them."

Sometimes it's nice just to think...or not think. Meditate, even. Maybe I'm preaching to the wrong croud here, but sometimes it's important to resist the urge to constantly fill our minds with some form of entertainment--it diverts us from reality, which explains why we have no problem screwing up the real world, as long as our fantasy worlds remain intact.

Deal breakers:
1) Uses the bathroom in front of me. I don't care how long we've been together, that's not cool.

2) Doesn't clean out the lint trap. You could start a fire, jackass!

3) Dismisses all fantasy/sci-fi books/movies as lesser than other forms of literature/entertainment.

Head scratches:

1) Likes little dogs. They're not dogs, they're cats that bark. Give me a shepard or lab any day.

Deal breakers:
1) Uses the bathroom in front of me. I don't care how long we've been together, that's not cool.

2) Doesn't clean out the lint trap. You could start a fire, jackass!

3) Dismisses all fantasy/sci-fi books/movies as lesser than other forms of literature/entertainment.

Head scratches:

1) Likes little dogs. They're not dogs, they're cats that bark. Give me a shepard or lab any day.

Diana: I do see what you mean, and I do just think sometimes when I'm not in the mood to read, about life in general or whatever is going on with me at the time but there is a limit. I'm the type of person who, if I know I will be traveling for more than a half hour, will bring something to read. Staying inside my brain for a long time is odd to me. But different strokes I suppose. :)

Dealbreakers:
1. Racism
2. Super religiousness
3. Bad kissers
4. People who don't drink alcohol (unless they are recovering alcoholics)

Headscratchers:
1. People who don't drink coffee. I just don't understand: how do they wake up in the morning? How do they stay awake during the day? How do they make things more interesting in life, like, going to a college course in Physics or being on a long drive?
2. People who don't like dogs. Suspicious.

Lets assume things like racist and abusive are givens...

Dealbreakers:
1. Texting while driving
2. Pretention
3. You hate my friends

Headscratchers:
1. Texting
2. Not having the attention span to sit through "The Big Lebowski"

Dealbreakers:

1. Someone who doesn't understand my sarcasm. AND gets overly sensitive about it. There was one guy who basically broke up with me because he wanted to go dancing, and I said, "oh, you're a straight white man and you like to dance?" Come on, it might not have been funny, but he didn't have to bring it up in each subsequent conversation and then finally stop calling. I mean, what the hell?

2. Someone who has no passion. My longest relationship ended because he told me that he would follow me anywhere, that I was his passion in life. BORING. (I'm in international politics, so it would have been a lifetime of him following me around the world). A person needs to be passionate about something to be even remotely attractive to me. I don't care what it is, as long as I'm not the sole reason for their existence.

3. Someone who is waiting to have sex until marriage. An otherwise wonderful, cute, funny, smart, beautiful British guy that I really liked told me that he wouldn't sleep with me until we were married. It might be shallow, but it really bothered me, so I ended things.

Headscratchers:

I've always been attracted to skinny, tall, nerdy, stylish men. The last guy I dated was tall, but he was beautifully ripped, wore flannel shirts and boots, drove a truck, spoke with a Tennessee accent, and had NO style. But god how I loved him, probably more so than any other man I've ever met. The dealbreaker was that he moved to Ghana.

Men find me extremely weird. After watching Shoot 'Em Up with my two guy friends, I was ecstatic at the level of cartoonish violence and gore. My friend just told me that I was a very strange woman. Ah well.

Really? Have you met most women? Because I have to say, most women are pains in the ass, and not at all enjoyable. Probably explains why I'm not a lesbian.

Uh, no, I haven't met most women. Don't have that much time on my hands. Sure, there are probably many who are assy, but that's missing the point. I'm a woman - why would I want to be in a relationship with a man who doesn't like women? It's doomed from the start. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation for me. I love men. I like talking to them, I like looking at them, I like laughing with them, I just like them. If I hated them, I'm thinking it's pretty difficult to maintain a relationship with one.

Dealbreakers
1. Bad kissing/sex, ie no chemistry (awkwardness can be gotten over, ultimate lack of mutual lust can't)
2. Doesn't watch TV...on principle.
3. A one-off fuck-up I could maybe deal with, but an ex had the attitude that shagging some other chick wouldn't take anything away from what we have, and should therefore be mutually allowed, if not encouraged, and that I could deal with any fallout by simply refusing to feel guilt or jealousy (him obviously being above such pettiness). I know some people make non-exclusive relationships work, but I can't...so I won't.
Headscratchers
1. Extreme reluctance to go to the cinema, despite liking films in general
2. Refusal to moisturize

Yea on you, Some Guy!!

This is for the person who posted that education is for the rich: it's not. I went to an expensive, high-ranking private university and most of the people there came from middle-class backgrounds and were paying for their studies with student loans, work study, ROTC, scholarships, etc. Most of them graduated with substantial debt. Education is not a priviledge, it's a priority. While I wouldn't go as far to say that I wouldn't date some one who isn't educated, he would certainly have to have a damn good excuse for it.

There is a girl in one of my classes who refuses to say A Streetcar Named Desire. She always says "Streetcar". No matter what the context or reason for saying it.

They made a musical in the Simpsons called "Streetcar!" and as near as I can tell it was awesome.

"Stella! Stella! Can'tcha hear me yella?! You're puttin' me through hella! Stellla. Stella!"

Dealbreakers:

1) An inability to understand my tattoos/hairstyle/preferred way of dressing. Seriously, this was a thing. An ex didn't like the above and decided to ask me, almost constantly, why I wore my hair like I did and why I wouldn't wear it more like he wanted me to.

2) Not accepting my family. Yes, they are crazy, yes we have issues. No you cannot judge us.

3) Closed-mindedness.

Headscratchers:

1) A few exes have been afraid of my dad. My friends have always been super-comfortable around him. My dad is actually the most awesome dad ever and is not at all scary or intimidating in any way. He's shy, he's cute, he makes bad jokes! Not scary!

2) Borderline dealbreaker: scraping utensils on teeth and plates. Drives me crazy.

Deal Breakers:

1) Crocs - they are only cute on kids. Most orthopedic shoes in general are pretty awful, especially on grown ups!

2) I think I would have to cut the relationship off if the man ever wore a thong or leopord print underwear (worse, if they are wearing them with their crocs). The man is not allowed to wear prettier/frillier undergarments than me.

3) You know what? I have never had a date do this, but I live in a big city and use the metro every day, and have seen people clipping their nails, while sitting right next to somebody else! It grosses me out to no end. While I'm very happy that people are concerned about their grooming, the sound of clipping and the thought of airborne bits of a stranger's fingernail makes me shudder. No wonder I go through on of those small bottles of sanitizing gel so quickly!

Head Scratcher:

1) I gave one of my papers to a college boyfriend to edit and when I got it back all it had was one comma. And he was an english major who would later become an editor at the school paper!! My writing usually needs a hell of a lot more than an extra comma during proofreading.

2) While I am normally a coherent gal, sometimes if I'm tired and haven't eaten in more than a few hours, I get very confused and disoriented. My boyfriend always gets irritated because I ramble at that point and am incapable of making small decisions (where to go eat, what to do that night, etc...) My cute eccentricities at that point just become weird, annoying tics.

I don't have any headscratchers as am single at the moment and frankly if I were to list all the things that made me wonder why I was with the ex Mr TheOdd we'd be here all day. So I'm not going to. The deal breakers listed below may seem shallow but they're an indication of personality traits that I dispise

Deal Breakers

1)Anyone who says "I don't like X-genre of film/book" and will point blank refuse to give anything even falling into that category a try regardless of personal recommendation by myself. This includes to subtitled movies/black and white movies/anime/manga/horror/comics/sci-fi. If you're dating me you should value my opinion even if you hate it afterwards I'll appreciate it that you tried.

2)Anyone who "doesn't read" and is actually proud of that. I love discussing books with people and one of the sweetest things a guy did for me was leaving post-its inside the books he borrowed from me with his favourite lines noted down on them - and I wasn't even dating him! Make notes in the margin of anything I lend you and I'll be yours forever. For real.

3)Anyone who pressures to see/speak to my Father. I do not care what your own personal Daddy issues are, leave mine alone.

4)Drug users who are nothing other than the substance they take. Weed I can handle as long as you don't bore me to death by always being stoned but anything injected and/or snorted and I'm out the door.

5)Emotional blackmail of any kind. Been there, Done that. And now I refuse to play.

Of course I'd say something about people who don't like tattoos/women who drink/swear/are opinionated but those are all evident about me from first meeting so any guy who was anti any of the above would avoid me like the proverbial plague.

Okay here's my chance to add my 50 cents.

Dealbreakers:

1) Being a member of the Conservative Party...I can't do it...Stephen Harper is the Devil...I can accept every other political bent but this one.

2) Homophobia - Love me...love my fags...cause if they don't like a guy in my life it becomes difficult for him to remain as well. They have better/more impartial taste than I do.

3) Bad with Animals - You'd never believe it but I'm a farm girl and we always had a zoo going on growing up. I like having pets around and couldn't stay with someone who didn't like that or was mean to them. This might be why between us the Dude and I have four cats and a dog so far.

4) Drinking Cheap/American beer - I'm Canadian...and the Labatt's commercial summed it up if you want to drink water...just drink water.

5) Inability to eat spicy food - Wimpy taste buds need not apply...I used to take guys to this little Sri Lankan place I was a regular at to test them. They would never serve me anything less than 'Indian hot' not the Gringo Special version of hot.

Headscratchers (With the Dude)

1) Not drinking beer but enjoying Wild Turkey...I just don't get it.

2) Not eating salad...at all...ever.

3) Not getting why it's important to remove socks pre-nookie...*shudder*

dealbreakers:
1) being rude and or dismissive to waiters or waitresses.
2) Having little interest in movies, books, or quality TV. videogames a plus but not necessary. If she tells me she doesn't "get" "Arrested Development" but loves "Two and a Half Men" it's over before desert arrives. Goes hand in hand with stupidity which I cannot abide.
3)Just because she doesn't like something doesn't mean I'm going to stop my hobby. Be it watching sports, playing videogames, etc. Either deal or leave. This goes along with pouting when I want time to hang out alone with my friends.

Headscratchers:

1) Reading the last page of a book first. Maddening.

2)Hating Michael J. Fox and Bruce Willis movies. Perplexing.

3) Not laughing out loud at the TV because it's "embarassing".

Dealbreakers:
1) Social conservativism (especially being very religious--either you worry about me going to hell or you don't, and either is disturbing)
2) Too much/not enough PDA--you don't need to claim me in public, but nor do you need to act like I have leprosy
3) Substance abuse problem
4) Infidelity goes with out saying--cheating on me or with me, I'm not going to like it

Headscratchers:
1)Smoker
2)Kids
3)Exclusively mainstream music/movie/literature tastes

DEALBREAKERS

1. When someone tries to use words that they obviously don't know the meaning of and try to pass them off like they know what they're talking about. And mispronunciation...ugh!

2. Expectation of your role...example: I lived with an ex who got pissed that I worked more than he did and didn't always have time to cook dinner, clean and act like suzy homemaker every night. Have some understanding...working 60 hours