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You Say Pajiba, I Say ... Pajiba

By Mrs. Julien | Comment Diversions | December 15, 2012 | Comments ()


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How do you pronounce the site name? I'd been here 2 years before I discovered -

it is pronounced like a part of the female anatomy, if you have a bit of a cold... Any other pronunciation makes us bristle, hack, and contort our faces in very unpleasant ways, particularly those pronunciations that involve long e's.

To which I responded, "FTW", or Fu*k the What?, which was the style at the time. Pajeyebah? Whatever. This is America. I can pronounce it however I want.

I've been wrong before, and not just about the pronunciation, but the being wrong isn't the fun part. Pointing out the manifest wrongness of others is, and correcting each other is blood sport on Pajiba. Admit it, you magnificent captious bastards: We go to the matresses over a detail of importance to no one but us. Being here doesn't encourage so much as give free reign to my innate tendencies because, if I may be so bold, I am one of Nature's Pajibans. I carry the Accuracy Police gene. My family corrects each other, we correct strangers, we correct ourselves. That Disquss thing where you can edit your own comments, meaning I can spout off and retroactively correct myself? It's either Heaven, or a special circle of Hell designed for people like me us.

Now, if you've noticed that I write with an emphatic tone, I speak that way, too. I have the courage of my convictions, even when I'm talking out my ass. I am plagued by the need to a. know stuff, b. let you know I know stuff, and c. correct you about said stuff. When someone corrected my English at work recently, incorrectly I might add, I had to control the urge to go up in a sheet of flame. I'm working on that.

Little Julien inherited the AP gene and Mr. Julien LOVES it when he corrects me. Oh, how he cackles with glee. I admonished Little Julien for correcting me unnecesarily and he said, "It just makes me crazy when people say things that are wrong.". Behold the genetic betrayal that is his legacy. It was a moment of pure schadenfreudeschaden. I've told him that he "can just know he is right on the inside and smile,' because if you understand what someone is trying to say, they don't need to be corrected. You People know thats bullsh*t. Of course it matters, but I'm trying to stop my child from getting punched.

While I'm busy silently correcting people and smiling, please tell us about a time you were wrong; better still when you were right, so very right; how you pronounce the sight name; or take this excellent opportunity to correct my grammar and ridicule my syntax*.

*That's right, a Magnum P.I. quote. Now get. off. my. lawn.

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I Pajiba Love You All: An Open Thread About This Morning's Atrocities Right After These Comforting Images | Sam Jackson's F-Bomb the One Sour Note In An Otherwise Festive "Saturday Night Live"






Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Mercy. That gif. I need warning before it's used, as it causes THE VAPORS. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tum...

    Also, it's Pa-jee-ba. Anecdotes regarding this website often go like this: "Most of my friends on Facebook are from Pajba. Well, it's pronounced Pa-jeye-ba, but I pronounce it Pa-jee-ba, so whatever."

  • Kip Hackman

    You know how, when you crack an egg, and empty its contents into a bowl, and you've got your yellow yolk, your (at the time clear) white, and then there is a little floaty white bit in there. My dad, his mom, and numerous relatives on that side of the family are CONVINCED that is rooster sperm that didn't take. I wish I was making that up, but I'm not. And what's worse, I've shown each of them pictures of the anatomy of a chicken egg, and it's super not sperm. My grandma literally picks it out with a spoon because she doesn't want to eat rooster sperm. I mean... not that I do want to eat rooster sperm. Who would want to eat rooster sperm? Anyway, yeah, that isn't sperm. In case you were wondering.

  • Guest

    Did you find them all?

  • Buck Forty

    I recall googling the word Pajiba when I first saw it so I could learn what it meant and how to pronounce it. I think it meant wind, or a it was a flower, or something. I can't remember now, and can't be bothered googling again.
    That's what reading Pajiba has done to me. I'm too lazy to google now.
    Shame on you all (not me, I am what I am).

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I pronounce Pajiba the correct way - the "official" way - it's always been my tendency.

    But as a child I did pronounce "vagina" wrong - va-jeen-ah. Until that awesome conversation around age 10 with the girlfriends where we got around to discussing all the naughty bits for the first time.

  • Idle Primate

    You mean the 'p' isn't silent? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.

  • Quatermain

    I was wrong once. I thought I was wrong, but it turned out I was right.

  • Jezzer

    I just operate under the assumption that the person who makes up the word gets to decide its pronunciation too, so Dustin's post yonks ago about it being pronounced "puh-JIGH-buh" settled it.

  • Sirilicious

    I'm a Pajeeban too, and only heard Pajeyeba a few weeks ago, on a podcast.

    The Dutch can mostly speak English ok, but we have trouble with 'th'. Once a colleague made fun of the Chinese's problem, with r/l, so i vowed to mock him forever and ever with his bad TH. Just last week, it sounded like he was talking about Turd Rock From The Sun. Mocking was had for 2 days.

    Another colleague started a communication company recently, Threehouse. But the way he pronounced it, it sounded like Treehouse, so he explained "you know, Tree, as in the number, not Tree, as in the large plant." The wrongness of choosing a name that you cannot properly pronounce was so large, that i just nodded and smiled.

  • HazBear01

    I have two new housemates, one is a British grammar nazi the other is an American grammar nazi. Verily there will be blood spilled this night.

  • Brooke the Replicant

    My husband, a Brit, always tries to win this argument with "And -what- is the language called? ENGLISH."

  • LiveAndLetLive

    1) Admit it, you magnificent captious bastards: We go to the matresses --> Admit it, you magnificent captious bastards: we go to the mattresses
    2) “can just know he is right on the inside and smile,’ --> “can just know he is right on the inside and smile,“
    3) etc.

    Bah.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Pa-genius, pa-jinus. Let's call the whole thing off...

  • TheOriginalMRod

    You mean it's not pa-jinus? DAMNIt!! WTF. ?

  • linnyloo

    I was sitting in the oral defense for my qualifying exams in graduate school. These exams took three months to study for, a solid week to take, and I was facing two hours of grilling from my committee where they could ask me anything about my field. Let's just say it was a bit tension filled. During one answer, I pronounced the name of a researcher phonetically -- it was spelled "Zajonc," and I said "Zah-jonck." I'd never heard it said out loud -- I'd only read it. My entire committee burst out laughing -- it's actually pronounced "Zience" -- like Science but with a Z. I ended up passing my quals -- but man, they never let me live that one down.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I was thinking we should do a separate thread on words that we've read but never heard (I pronounced renege as re-nej until I was about twenty, thinking it was beautiful and French-derived)

  • Can we discuss "niche", please? IT IS NOT NITCH.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I had a roommate who discovered the correct pronunciation of Rene Descartes the hard way.

  • Maguita NYC

    did she feel "discarded" afterwards? Or just "desjected"...

  • Sara_Tonin00

    My favorite is the variety of pronunciations for "Pret a Manger" the sandwich chain in the city. Yes, the "t" is pronounced. No, the "r" is not.

  • Mrs. Julien

    FOYER! Dear godtopus, I flinch every time I hear the "r".

  • Sara_Tonin00

    See, I think that's an accepted Americanized pronunciation of the word now. That's what happens when the hoi polloi get their mouths on exotic language...

  • Brooke the Replicant

    Well thank god. I kept calling it "pa-JIB-a." Clearly, i feel like a jackass.

  • BierceAmbrose

    "Magnificent captious bastards" is the new name for my bar trivia contest team.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    oh, that's nice. That's very nice indeed. I think I'm going to find that "whisky and rage" quote from a few weeks ago to be mine next time I play.

  • annie

    I say PAH-jee-bah. It feels exotic in my mouth like this. Speaking of vaginas, hello, favorite Cumberbatch gif, would you like to meet mine?

  • superasente

    To be fair, "En masse" isn't English; it's French for "in mass."
    Sooo....

  • Mrs. Julien

    You sir, are what is known in Canada as a "shit disturber".

    En masse is English because we have decided it is and, like the Roman Empire and the Roman Catholic Church before it, the English language simply absorbs and adapts whatever is in its path. You know, like zeitgeist, guacamole, salsa, and faux pas.

    Thanks, superasente. I needed that,

  • Tin Lizzie

    My Mom does not get pronoun grammar AT ALL. There are times when she refuses to use the objective case because the nuns taught her it was improper ever to say "him and me" or some such nonsense. So she will say teeth-gnashing things like "Can you drive your sister and I to the store?" or "I gave that to she and your brother for Christmas."

  • VonnegutSlut

    I once lived with someone (who coincidently LOOOOVED to correct people) who confused "swarmy" with "smarmy" and "immolate" with "inculcate."

    It used to drive me crazier than a shit house rat.

    It never dawned on the self-satisfied fucker that they were describing a person as somewhat pirate-like rather than the wheedling prick they intended...or that they were trying to figure out how to sacrifice someone rather than diligently instruct them.

    Yeesh.

  • idgiepug

    I stumbled across this site all unawares several years ago and have always called it Puh-jibe-uh.

    Also, I think LIttle J and the Little Pug should get together for a play date. They will either become the world's best friends or attempt to destroy each other in grammar face-off. Either way, it would be fun to watch.

  • McSquish

    Can I say that I have never really gotten the attraction of Benedict Cumberbatvh until that header gif. I thought GE was a good actor and all, but never found him attractive. Clearly, this is an excellent example of me being wrong, because oh. My. God, that scarf had better be on its way to tying me to the headboard.

    And it's Pah-jeye-buh.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is it just me or are we reaching critical pronunciation mass and can stage a bloodless coup? Bloodless until TK gets involved anyway.

    WHO'S WITH ME?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You could only do this if you were wiling to cede that general usage takes precedence over official pronunciation. And I think that is a can of worms you probably do not wish to open.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Can I open a can of whoopass instead?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Does "whoopass" rhyme with "compass"?

  • BierceAmbrose

    There will be blood, else what's the point of a coup? (Or a coupe for that matter. Dangerous little things.)

    Or do you mean "counting coup. The tag's been given. Now to run away safely.

  • SabrinaHatesDisqus

    This is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy.

  • PerpetualIntern

    Stop being a cheertator, Sabrina!

  • SabrinaHatesDisqus

    I once corrected someone's grammar during sex. Does that mean I win? It probably means I win.

  • Mavler

    That's kind of a turn on. You totally win in my book!

  • Maguita NYC

    It simply means that you're more perverted than the lot of us, getting turned on by overpowering your partner with grammar play.

    May I offer some imperatives in preposition teasing form?

  • SabrinaHatesDisqus

    May you(interrobang)

    Yes, you may.

  • Empress of All the Russias

    I always say "Pah-jibb-ah" in my head. Sort of like "Jib-Jab." Face contort away.

    My family is a long line of wrongness correctors. Thank God for IMDB or our "Wait isn't he that guy from that movie?" debates would never end.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Disqus, one S. :P

  • Mrs. Julien

    You're adorable!

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Puh-jai-buh. Just like vuh-jai-nuh. Or whatevs.

  • Robert

    My brother pronounces it "that site I banned you from." Someone got butthurt over a bad review a few years ago.

  • bleujayone

    Oh, I know how it's supposed to be pronounced, I just don't choose to. It's too clinical in that way. It sounds like Ricky Ricardo was moonlighting as a gynecologist; "Okay Mrs. Anterson, I'ma goin' take a look up ina your pajiba now..."

    Instead I take the golden oldie "Tequila!" by the Champs and make it rhyme with that- and then replace in the song itself. Come to think of it "Pajiba Tequila" even sounds like a legitimate drink one might pound down on a dare in a Cabo dive bar after a long hard day driving the Murder Tank.

  • auntmopmop

    So I was at Thanksgiving one year and I asked my mother-in-law if I could help. She said for me to set the table, which I did. Fork, plate, knife, spoon. After I was done, she came over shaking her head and fixed everything. Knife, spoon, plate, fork. It made me seethe, but I let it go until I heard her gently explaining to my 6-year-old that "Mommy doesn't know what's right." I let both of them know that I had indeed set the table correctly, but would leave it Grandma's way. The next year, THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED. I now sit on the couch every year and don't volunteer to help.

  • naivehelga

    YES. Everything with four letters goes on the left-hand side (four=left AND fork), everything with five letters goes on the right (five letters in knife and spoon AND right). Why do children not learn this in school!?

  • Bodhi

    What the hell kind of crazy person sets a table like that? She has clearly never worked in F&B. Or even been to a dining establishment

  • auntmopmop

    And she corrected me MORE THAN ONCE on it. I can't bring myself to send her websites showing the correct way, but I really, really want to.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    I think you should give her a really upscale book on dining (for Birthday or Xmas or whatever)- and bookmark the section on setting the table. She's a tyrant - and a *wrong* tyrant at that, and she must be stopped. That and I just really, really enjoy a class F U.

  • My stepbrother (a man in his late 30s) almost lost an arm last Hanukkah/Christmas when he argued with me (a woman in my late 20s) about how to set the table. By the craziness of my job I had just learned the history of table settings so I was not about to put up with his nonsense. Thankfully my mother took one look at my face and walked away to pour us (she and I) more wine. Ah, family.

  • Mrs. Julien

    This is an ongoing issue with Mr. Julien. Between that and how he folds towels, I've almost given up.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I feel that way about not folding towels in thirds. Philistines all.

  • Maguita NYC

    I bet you also flip (in your mind, correctly adjust) toilet paper rolls when using other people's bathrooms.

  • Malin

    I quietly do this, every single time. I can't help myself.

  • Mrs. Julien

    No, but I mentally renovate.

  • Pretty sure it's pronounced Pay-jib-ay.

  • Tinkerville

    "Fu*k the What?, which was the style at the time.."

    I'm so glad that chapter of our lives is over.

  • mswas

    I thought it w as "Fu*k the World," or lately "for the win".

  • Quatermain

    I can deal with 'for the win' because it's an old sports term, but it's retarded cousin 'full of win' makes me want to cut people's tongues out.

  • jollies

    'Full of win' makes me think for my grandfather, who was sweet but never one with whom you wanted to take a long ar ride. He was always 'full of wind.'

  • Mrs. Julien

    My recollection is that a Pajiban said he/she always forgot it was "for the win" and read it as"fu*k the what". I thought it was hilarious. I still do.

  • Idle Primate

    Once, it was feed the world. But bright eyed enthusiasm went far out of style faster than you can say tiger blood

  • Rocabarra

    What the hell is Pajiba even supposed to mean? It looks stupid, and the fact that it's supposed to rhyme with vagina is even stupider. I will always say it pa-jee-bah because I'm sure there's some kind of phonetic rule* about the pronunciation of a vowel before a labial stop.

    *I have no evidence to back this statement up
    ** No the irony of the term labial in this instance has not escaped me
    *** I fucking love you Pajiba and please don't ever leave me

  • Sara_Tonin00

    well, it can't "rhyme" per se, since it has a B where an N would need to go for a rhyme.

  • funtime42

    Miss Manners says you should smile graciously, with ever so slight a pinch of pity and bemusement, then comment, "I'm certain you are grievously mistaken."

  • Maguita NYC

    I hate that tw-t.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    When I was in Grade 2 or so, this woman came to my elementary school to give a (completely age-appropriate) sex-ed talk. It was very benign and devoid of visual aids or anything like that, and also happened after hours, so it was totally optional for the parents. My mother was one of the parents who decided that she wanted my sister and I to learn about these things, so we went to see it. I remember that I didn't completely understand what the woman's was talking about, but at one point she did ask a question to which I knew the answer: "What part of the mommy's body does the baby grow in?" Several other children raised their hands and claimed that it was the tummy, but I was the only one to raise my hand and yell the word "Uterus!" repeatedly. The presenter did not, unfortunately, hear me, but I did get the satisfaction of knowing that the kid sitting next to me who told me I was crazy was flat-out wrong. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty smug for the rest of the night.

  • Dave Margolis

    "...she wanted my sister and I to learn about these things..."
    Now I'm smug.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Grammar minutiae have never been my strong suit. This does not particularly bother me.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Also, one time when I was in Grade 12 I corrected my French teacher when she said that Hercule Poirot was created by some Belgian author.

  • I always made the "J" silent and pronounced it pa-hee-ba.

  • linnyloo

    Me too!

  • Onomatopeon

    "He made a minor vocabulary error and she inwardly, magnanimously, forgave him." Carrie Fisher

  • Malin

    Gah, Mrs. J. Stop it with the spelling mistakes! Please tell me you wrote sight instead of site on purpose.

    I am also one of those people who has to restrain herself from correcting strangers on grammar and pronunciation I think it's one of the reasons why I enjoy being a teacher, despite the many disadvantages it comes with. I get to correct people for a living.

    My husband's exactly the same, although he's English, and therefore has politeness bred into his very being. He's better at "smiling on the inside about people's wrongness" (although he rants to me about it afterwards). We are the people our friends turn to if they need anything meticulously proofread or spell-checked. One of his favourite things in the whole world is correcting me when I confuse fewer and less (and I do it about once a week). I get to correct his Norwegian.

  • Malin

    Oh, and I pronounce it Pah-jee-bah. I know it's wrong. I don't care. Your ire and face contortions bring me joy.

  • Corvus

    I'm sure we've dealt with this before. It's like Copenhagen, which is pronounced Cope-en-haaaahgen everywhere in the world except in Copenha(y)gen. Everyone says 'Pah-gee-bah' except Mr Rowles.

  • Maguita NYC

    Regina. Angina. Vagina. Pajiba.
    All sounding about the same... And oddly, having the same giggly effect.

    I normally do not correct people, I just give them a certain look, and they promptly correct themselves. The oddest constant and contradictory thing in my life? I'm an American living abroad for yet a few more months before moving back home. And everywhere I go, people stop me all the time. No, not because I'm that irresistible, but because apparently I have "Information Center" tattooed on my forehead.

    "Excuse me miss, where is the nearest subway station?"
    "Excuse me miss, do you happen to know where street X is?"
    "Excuse me miss, do you know where I can find XYZ?"
    "Excuse me Maguita, where's the ladies' room?" (Asks a colleague who has been working in the same fucking building for the past 20 years).

    And I answer.

    In French (because obviously, French city).

    With... an accent.

    And people freeze. Then ask: "are you sure"?

    FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. YOU ASKED. I ANSWERED. It's not because I have a fucking accent that I am wrong.

    Next one that doesn't believe me or looks remotely doubtful of my reply, you might hear about it in the news: "Short-tempered American attacks innocent bystander for no apparent reason".

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Is this Regina a proper name? 'cause Regina in Latin "reh-geen-a".

  • Maguita NYC

    I usually pronounce it Rej-eye-na. Or apparently it could aslo be, my friends Rehgeena and Cloris from next door. Both work http://thesaurus.com/browse/re...
    (click on "listen to pronunciation" icon)

  • mswas

    You say Regina. I say Angina. You say Vagina. I say Pajiba. Regina. Angina. Vagina. Pajiba, let's call the whole thing off!

  • Maguita NYC

    Clearly, it's Paj-aie-ba with a green tomaeto in your mouth.

  • Derreck

    I say Pa-JEE-ba. Why? Because I SAID SO.

    (But after i found out i was saying it wrong, i found that it was incredibly hard to stop)

  • seanfast

    the sheer number of people here who also say Pajeeba like me makes me feel better. Dustin should have included a little "paj-eye-ba" in parantheses in the logo pic at the top when he started the site. Now too many people have been saying it wrong for too long and we're too set in our ways. sorry ill always say pajeeba and it will always sound wrong any other way.

  • marya

    I cannot and will not say Paj-eye-ba. Sorry, you're fighting a losing battle - I'm pretty sure I have the entire Spanish-speaking world at my back. Pa-JEE-ba! Gattica!

  • Anne At Large

    Same here, rhymes-with-vagina just sounds wrong to me. You will always be my Pajeebers.

  • Jerce

    You put those errors into the penultimate and final paragraphs for me personally, didn't you? To ruin my Saturday.
    You are a horrible person.

  • PerpetualIntern

    "site" not "sight" :)

  • Wembley

    4th para-misspelled 'mattresses'

  • Soda

    Every now and then, I like to pretend I'm Spanish and say Pah-hee-bah. But mostly, I think I've conformed, even if it didn't exactly feel right at first.

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