Pajiba

No way, Ryan Reynolds it is. When i was 14, my masturbatory height, my little brother used to commandeer the tv and turn that show about the pizza place way the fuck up. That mans voice ruined many a wank, for which he will never be forgiven.

I hate Ryan Reynolds, responsible for the Homersexualizationing of one Dustin Rowles.

Well I remember a time when everyone was all googly-goo over Eliza Dushku. I'm pretty sure she's right up there with Lindsey Lohan for me in terms of actual talent. Otherwise, the Pajibans seem to be spot on.

I fucking loathe Conrad...

HA HA! Successful thread jack.

I am the white bitchface devil today.

I never really cared for Alyson Hannigan when she was on Buffy. But ever since she went without the red hair on How I Met Your Mother I think she is the cutest thing there is.

And I don't have much against Ryan Reynolds. But he gets way too much attention on this site. If you're going to fawn over a guy at least make it NPH. That man can do no wrong.

Seth Rogen. I just really, really dislike looking at him (chubby or thin) and do not find him amusing. Also, I feel he is the reason I didn't like Zach and Miri as much as I wanted to, so I resent him for that.

I wouldn't mind treating Prisco to some blade work, real slow.

True Romance.

I regret nothing.

Didn't like The Sopranos

The Decemberists do nothing for me.

Don't give a rip about Lost, 24, or Doctor Who.

Thought Sports Night was overrated.

Think World of Warcraft, Everquest, and The Sims are supertard.

I've seen one episode of ER.

I've seen about ten episodes of Futurama.

Albinos creep me out.

There. Done...

OH! OH! Diblo Cody and all her cronies.

I've got your eggo-preggo *RIGHT HERE,* stripper.

*diablo (pfft whatever)

I can't think of any! Am I so brain-washed? I'll probably think of one once everybody has already posted and I'll be stuck posting "Me Too" like some brain-dead AOLer.

I know everyone loves Veronica Mars, but dammit, Kristen Bell annoys me.

"30 Rock." I'm not saying it's bad -- Alec Baldwin should win a lifetime Emmy for Donaghy -- I just think it gets a pretty hard sell because of how few decent comedies there are.

And, Skitz, absolute agreement on "Sports Night." I've never understood the love for that show. Not funny. Not compelling.

I usually feel ashamed to admit I liked things the Pajiberati deems unworthy.

A good alt-diversion; I'm continually surprised by the put-downs directed at The English Patient 'round these parts. It's a great movie, so suck it.

30 Rock is NOT the best comedy on TV. It's not even the best comedy on Thursday nights.

Ok, I've thought of three: I've never seen Firefly, Battlestar Galactica or The Wire, which doesn't necessarilty mean that I will instantly hate any of them, but it's not like I'm in a hurry to see them. Catch my drift?

Oops. Almost forgot this one - I don't care about pro sports. Period.

There is absolutely nothing about them that interest me. I'll watch a highlights clip, but after that it's yawnsville. As far as entertainment goes, I'd rather organize my friggin' spice drawer. I'll go to a high school baseball/football/basketball/hockey game, but other than that? Nope. I have no team allegiance. I quote no stats. I've never owned a piece of team memorabilia. No shirts, stickers, caps or pins.

There you have it.

Well, I don't really dislike Battlestar Galactica, I just feel that if I ever saw it was on, I would not think twice about changing the channel. I've never seen it but it seems rather dull.

oh and tracy morgan. he is the complete antithesis of funny.

Kristen Bell. Can't stand her.

While I get that they are mindless explosion filled cannolis of suck...

I like Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay type movies.

And I'm looking forward to Transformers 2.

I feel clean and dirty... I feel clirty.

Unpopular Stuff I Like For Which You Can Bite My Sweet Behind:

The Big Bang Theory
John Mayer
Ben Stiller
The Dave Matthews Band
The Barenakes Ladies

I will refrain from posting more, lest I be beaten with my copy of the Lilywhite Sessions.

I hate people. There, I said it, and that includes all of you assholes. I would be A-OK with a third world war destroying humanity. I would be completely willing to sacrifice myself in order to get rid of everybody else. My cat's ok though, he's chill and he is standing on my lap at the moment. It makes it very hard to type. So to all you motherfuckers that hate my cat: FUCK YOU I hope you die in the first wave of H-bombs.

Oh, and I've laughed more than a few times at Three and a Half Men. That's right. It's crude and formulaic, but by Godtopus, if I happen to catch an episode in sindication, that shit makes me giggle.

I feel lighter somehow. Ahhhhh.

Oh yeah...add Dave Matthews Band['s new album to that list too. Can they move on after a death within the band???

Ohhhh. I thought you were asking what's wrong with us. Share our major malfunctions. I don't need a diversion to grouse at sacred cows.

I hated The Descent. It was not some new genre blasting awesomeness and it wasn't scary. Boom- roasted, er, disliked!

There is a lot of energy expended on this site about La Heigl. What gives? She's just some actress.

Whenever I see a Kevin Smith movie all I can think is, "Would you just shut the hell up?"

Mr. Henry and I don't get the Arrested Development thing. It's designed for people with the attention span of a gnat.

I don't get all of the hate for Paul Haggis either. I liked the movie Crash. Shall my name be stricken from the Book of Life?

30 Rock is not funny. It is not meta, it is not clever; it is a so-so sitcom with hacknied, predictable plots. Everytime we watch it AFTER the BEST sitcom on TV (and pray for Baldwin to appear and be amusing), we say "Why did we watch that?"

I was in New York with my mum and we were walking past the NBC store at Rockefeller Center and I saw a big poster for 30 Rock. I said, "That's a show the critics wet themselves over and it's not funny." It was then the man in front of me looked over his shoulder. It was Tracy Morgan. Serendipity.

Ohhhh. I thought you were asking what's wrong with us.

Heeeee. Me too, I was all ready to list my procrastination and my terrible memory for multiplication tables :p

kevin smith.
maggie gyllenhaal.
true romance.

I think if you like BSG, you are a cylon. YOU ARE ALL CYLONS.

(I like Hootie and the Blowfish, Julie, so we could hang out sometime. . .and, you know, be white. Even though Hootie (I know his name is Darius, but really it's Hootie) is black, he's white. I'm white. Peace out).

And this will probably get me killed but:

I hate John Cusack. I hate him. I loved High Fidelity, but I hate everything else he has ever done.

Including 'Say Anything'. I cannot stand to look at his face, and I can't believe people find him attractive.

It's a Wonderful Life sucks. I'm not apologizing. I think it sucks.

OOH, me too! Hated it. I saw it for the first time last Christmas at my mom's, and as she and her friend sobbed on the couch I ran upstairs to my brother's room to laugh hysterically, calm myself, and come back down as to not hurt their feelings.

Coveredinbees, for some reason your Hootie comment made me want to eat a black and white cookie. Damn you.

That's funny, my comment made me want to watch Macaulay Culkin rap with Michael Jackson. The brain is a dangerous playground.

Afternoon Comment Diversion:
They are always way too long by the time I make it to them five minutes after they were posted. Im always too lazy to read them all; I end up scrolling and some witty prick has come along and said everything I want to say but in a much better way.

Oh and someone find out what rock Alex the Odd is hiding under I need some more retrospectives on things from here in the UK.

Skitz....TOTALLY. Choc Starfish....dug it. They're reuniting too. Might I give them a listen? Most definitely. I can harken back to my pre-millenium grumpitude and break shit to poundy-6-string-bass, powerchord stompmyfeet and pout music.

...it's theraputic.

Ok, I do laugh sometimes, but for all the over-adulationizing this second tier writer/director gets I have to say out loud and proud that I cannot stand Judd Apatow. I get that he gives validity to all freaks and geeks out there, but come on, at best he aims higher than Sarah Silverman (who I hate also, but she has a rockin' body so she gets a pass) for poo-poo, caa-caa jokes.

You guys having fun? Good.

Let me throw some suck at you: The Grateful Dead. Phish. Fleet Foxes.

Ass on a sharp stick.

I'm with figgy. I hate Joss Whedon. My hate for him knows no bounds. He seems like a genuinely good guy and all, and I like some of his societal critique, but I hate his writing. His dialogue is so fucking smug and self-aware and wink-wink-nudge-nudge and fucking stilted. I feel like all of his actors (and his characters) are just puppets with his hands up their asses, speaking with the same "voice". Etc. Etc.

Also, I liked TDK, but it wasn't good enough to warrant re-watching. Ledger's Oscar for that movie was just an apology for being snubbed for the award he SHOULD have won for his fucking spot-on portrayal of a cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain".

I do, however, like Robert Downey Jr. That man is indeed a charmer!

I used to really like Famliy Guy, but it's gotten very stale.

I used to really hate American Dad, but it's gotten better. Not as stale.

I used to pee my pants at night, but it's gotten better. Not at all stale.

I used to hate Firefly, and I still do. That show is so stale.

Wow, I've only commented a couple of times and I feel like people are going to kill me for this one but...

I didn't really like Arrested Development. There, I said it.

And come to think of it, Rushmore sucked.

I don't find Nathan Fillion attractive. AT ALL.

White people with dreads should be punched in the face. That goes double for white people with dreads that have chunks of wood and pottery and giant glass beads and other ridiculous shit in it. What the hell are you trying to prove/say? It can't possibly be comfortable to sleep with. It's hot. It looks like shit. Stop it.

PBR and Old Milwaukee. Pretty sure it had something to do with a goddam hipster revival or something. Bottom line? That beer tastes like shit. It has always tasted like shit. It tasted like shit ten years ago too, remember? So why the fuck is everybody chugging Pabst Tall Boys now?

Chuck Taylors. Had one pair. Eighth grade. Never needed to own another pair. I think they look stupid. Can't quite understand why they cost more than ten bucks...

Oh, God..."There Will Be Blood"

What a piece of shit. It was like a parody of a movie. The acting from the preacher guy felt so...staged. Like he was playing a community theater version of a preacher written by an angry atheist.

The ONLY good thing I have to say about that movie is that the music was haunting, and even that is barely a compliment.

Was there even a plot? Ugh.

And Jason Mraz is a guilty pleasure. I know his music is cheesy and stupid.......and I don't care. It's fun.

TK, I know what you're thinking. You can stick it straight up your ass.

Pissboy: Word
Dustin: Double word.

Seth Rogen -- not funny at all.

Judd Apatow -- watch one of his movies, and it's funny. But he says the same damn story over and over again. Sarah Marshall was vaguely entertaining, but it wasn't special.

High Fidelity -- I kept fighting the urge to go find John Cusack and spoon out his eyes with a rusty spork in vengeance.

High-five, teacup! I really, really hate the smugness of Whedon.

Spender: you break my heart.

This IS fun, Dustin! Whee!

Hoookay, here goes...

Lost bores me. I have yet to watch Juno, and I'm okay with the continuing of that trend. The only time I enjoyed Kristen Bell was her exit from Deadwood. I'm so over Judd Apatow. Thank you for F&G, but reel back the output. Distance, fonder hearts, all that rot. Ironman was nowhere NEAR as enjoyable as TDK. RDJ isn't even that attractive.

I'm afraid I went too far with the last one, but there it is.

PS: On Whedon. The only thing that really gets me is his hate for father figures, his constant anti-gun harping, that smoking always equivocated villainous.

Does anyone still like "Spiderman"? I hated that trash and its terrible rubber-band-man computer generated effects.

Speaking of computer generated crap, Pixar--eff you Pixar and all of your shitty computerized crap, yes even "Toy Story."

And "Finding Nemo," too.

I hated "Wicked". And "Cryptonomicron".

Almost forgot. Outside of Arrested Development I usually want to punch Jason Bateman. Even in the show, there are a few times I'd really love to throw him against a hot Cornballer. In anything other than the show, he's the same goddamn character. That works for some people, IMO, but not him. Probably because his character is kind of an asshole, right?

Also, I'm surprised how many people don't like AD. There's no judgment on my end... I just legitimately find it hilarious and thought most intelligent people did.

Skitz,
You seriously know adults who drink Old Milwaukee? Shit. I drank that shit when I was 18 cause it was cheap. I feel the same way about Bud and Coors drinkers. The "manly" douches who can't handle beer that has taste should have their balls showed up back where they belong, and they can spend the rest of their lives drinking pina coladas with my Grandma.

Oh, and Wall-E was only slightly entertaining. I was not overly charmed by it at all.

I don't get the extreme hate for Katherine Heigl. It's not like she's out there killing babies.

I don't get why anyone would watch Lost much less read a recap about it. The really crazy thing I don't get is why that show is still on. They're not even on the island anymore!

And one more thing- Stargate SG-1 was way more fun than Battlestar Gallatica.

I've never really cared for Futurama.

Oof, I really never got into Futurama, either. Never got all the love for it.

Whedon: just no.

I dislike people who dislike things because they know it's their own flawed understanding or perception of things that prevents them from understanding it, but blame the thing instead of themselves because it's easier than changing.

If you don't understand that sentence you're in this category.

Another non-Heigl hater here. And I'm afraid I absolutely despise Shawshank Redemption and everything it stands for; I'd rather be stuck in a lift with Perez Hilton for two hours than have to watch that sack of crap again.

I like Twilight. The movie, not the book.

Pajiba: Scathing Reviews for H8ters.

booya!!!!

And one more thing- Stargate SG-1 was way more fun than Battlestar Galactica.

Posted by: brenia at April 15, 2009 5:46 PM
------------------------------------------------------
Brenia,
My wife would kill you and keep you from your resurrection ship but I am in complete agreement.

Battlestar Galactica can choke on my chode.

Josh Whedon is OVER-RAAAATED, Clap Clap ... Clap Clap Clap, OVER-RAAATED...

I hate all of the stupid names Joss Whedon gives his characters. The nickname for Joseph is Joe, not Joss, you douchenozzle.

Yo, Figgy. We need to hang out.

Ooh! Ooh! I got one that I bet half of you will agree with, and the other half will spit out whatever they may be eating or drinking in horror:

I love Shakespeare in Love.

about every time i get lured into a music related post, my soul is crushed by awful sounds. i'd say it's a 98% chance i will not understand the appeal.
i also don't understand the seth rogen love... until a few weeks ago i thought he was faking his voice. i do like the movies he's in, but not cause he's in them.
lost, wtf? i have never cared. the insistance of friends and family that i should watch it just makes me care less. same for 30 rock, friends try to make me watch it and i guess it's alright but not good enough for me to take the initiative to watch every week. even my unbridled love and admiration for tina fey can't get me interested.
@brenia, i'd have to say your battlestar galactica opinion is misinformed since you've only seen the beginning of the series. just cause stargate has brighter colors doesn't make it more fun :p
and as a white girl with hair so curly i fight a constant war with its habit of tangling in clumps, i too hate white people dreads. the fact that i have to try so hard to keep from having them just intensifies my dislike.

Yes, yes we do.

Here's one that has the potential to get me kicked in the sack:

I hate frisbee golf even more than regular golf. It's a frisbee. It's meant to be thrown between two or more people, and in some cases, caught by a happy pooch. There is no reason it should be thrown and walked after. None whatsoever.

I heard somebody once refer to it as "frolf". That person was a moron...

Skitz, I'm SO glad that there is another person out there who hates frisbee golf. I hate, hate, HATE that pointless game!!!

Oh, forgot to say:

Geetch, what the hell? You make "Canadian" sound like a bad thing. We are above average, thank you very much!

enough with the frisbee golf hate.

it is meant to be enjoyed as the games of our inbred aristocratic descendants were enjoyed- drunk and filled with a casual disdain of humanity.

it should have clubs though. i mean the bludgeoning kind.

Aaaww, Steve, that makes me sad. As punishment, you will sit there while I perform all of the songs from 'Chicago' for your listening pleasure.

Don't worry, all the broken glass will be paid for by me. It's gonna be SO much fun.

I loved The English Patient. Come on, it has Naveen Andrews shirtless and wet. Thank you very much.

And to ease up on some of the hate:
-I love that Stacey posts so many videos of dogs doing funny things.
-I love that Dustin 'pretends' (or not!) to love Ryan Reynolds for our enjoyment. And posts photos of abs.
-I love that Dan loves Star Wars.
-I love that Ted loves booze.
-I love that Prisco loves ham.

And many other things, of course.

I didn't like Iron Man. So overrated, such a childhood-boy-fantasy-big-guns-big-explosions-big-suck crapfest if ever I saw one. And so, soooo not better than The Dark Knight.

And I know that opinion is not exactly common here in Pajiland.

No offense taken Spender. None at all.

*Snarl! Hiss!* Back into hiding with you, M! How dare you feel comfortable enough to comment in these parts!

(heehee)

Ooh, thought of two, no wait, three others in addition to sci-fi in general: Superbad. I love so many of the people involved, including Apatow who has gotten a lot of shit sent his way today, but I was seriously disappointed with this one. Superbad leads to my second one, Jonah Hill. He just drives me batshit crazy in almost every role he plays. I have only found him remotely funny twice: once in his bit part in 40 year old virgin in which he is trying to buy the sparkly goldfish platform boots, the other is the very first scene of his in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. My final piece of dislike that will probably get me disowned from Pajiba is that I couldn't even make it through Tropic Thunder. I thought it was obnoxious and too much like the movies it was trying to skewer (I find big budget action movies unbearable. I'm not interested in violence and explosions for entertainment.)

meux, thank you for the warm welcome.

Also, I meant to write unfortunate displeasure with regards to Mr. Howard.

I hate any of you fucking hipsters out there.

http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/

I'm going to have to agree with ami on Tropic Thunder. Save for RDJ and the best thing that Tom has done since ever, it would have just been another Ben Stiller movie.

Yes Steven, it is that bad. You may want to check your happy place to see if anything is missing.

Oh, and while, again, I have a soft spot for Alyson Hannigan (she seems so sweet), I definitely think that she is the wekaest part of 'How I Met Your Mother.' If she wasn't attached to Jason Segel she would be kind of useless.

PissBoy, I'm waiting for Depeche Mode and in fact mentioned it in that very column. Nobody else seemed interested. I've been listening to Music For The Masses these days to whet my appetite.

I'm not sure if it's Joss Whedon I can't stand, or just the actors he hires - though I did like James Marsters. Either way, his shows don't do much for my world.

And finally, I can't stand most of the comedies (television or movie) of today. So I'd say 90 percent of the comedies that get reviewed here, I just skip over. I don't know if it's my sense of humor that's bad, or that of most of America. I'm going with my own gut though.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT WALL-E, MEAUX!

Tropic Thunder was meh, even RDJ. I hate Taye Diggs and that douchetool that's playing Spock. I like a lot of Tom Cruise's movies. Eliza Dushku sucks and her name is annoying to type. I've seen all the Spiderman movies and I don't give a shit about them. I liked Lost In Translation. Jamie Foxx can kiss my ass. I hate the grammar nazis. I love disaster movies. Oh, and...

PANDAS SUCK!

Abby: I don't know if I could really disagree with a person more. Except that, yes, Heigl was weak in Knocked Up. But The Darjeeling Limited was one of my favorite films ever. People throw around that word "pretentious" to try and be cool and make up for the fact that they simply didn't understand or enjoy a film. But in fact some of the best films of all time are pretentious in that they involve a certain amount of context or re-watching to really gather the full message.

Anyway, on to the topic at hand. I actually don't like Glenn Close. And I find even a young Meryl Streep to be horribly unattractive (though very talented). I actually hate the guy who plays Simon on Firefly, as well as Sarah Michelle Gellar.

And I feel bad for saying this, but I'm starting to think that Leonardo Dicaprio has no range to speak of. Even when he's playing a very unique character, he plays that character exactly like every other character he's ever played. Which isn't to say he isn't a good actor, just that he's not a particularly good character actor.

And you know what? I like Keanu Reeves. Yeah. I said it.

Eh, I can't hate on a lot of stuff, because if it doesn't grab me, I just don't watch it. I'll get an eensy bit apoplectic with the Stargate hate, because my ex-husband used to watch that horseshit endlesslesslesslessly (hell, yeah, that's a word), and in terms of plot and characters, let's just say I think the creators of Archie and Jughead obviously did a little moonlighting in their later years. Terrible, terrible crap, brought nothing new to the table.

I don't watch Lost, Amazing Race, American Idol, or How I Met Your Mother. I've never seen a Jason Statham movie. I'm too old to wax nostalgic about Ninja Turtles or Rainbow Brite, and Scooby Doo fucking sucked to anybody who wasn't stoned out of his gourd. My childhood can't be raped because I was a child in the seventies and there wasn't anything in that entire TV decade that wouldn't spread its legs willingly for any and all comers.

figgy: I was wrong about Abby. I have never disagreed with anyone the way I disagree with you. You shock and appall me.

PissBoy: There are a few reasons those albums weren't on the anticipated albums list. For one, I'm not sure some of those are true (Death Cab, for instance), though if all of them are, it's entirely possible we just didn't hear about them. Secondly, those lists were entirely subjective to the individual writers. I, for example, am far more excited about a new Flaming Lips or Grizzly Bear album than anything by Green Day or Eminem. For the record, any anticipation I could have had for the new Eminem album was shattered when I heard his new single. It's awful. Finally, I don't think any of the writers here on this site is specifically not reviewing mainstream artists, as that would be idiotic and exclusionary. Rather, I think the writers are making a concerted effort to INclude artists you may never have heard of before, giving a broader scope of the industry and diversifying tastes. We do three album reviews a week. Every blog in the universe is reviewing the major releases. We're just giving some different flavors you might like if you gave them a shot. I think your attitude is far more pretentious, that anyone without any mainstream success does not deserve coverage on this site.

Yes, I just called you out.

I'm watching Three Kings right now and I kind of heart Spike Jonze more than ever. I had no idear he acted in this. Just thought I would add some unasked for love to this hate thread.

God, some of the hate on this thread actually hurts my heart. Arrested Development? Seth Rogen? Kevin Smith? Wes Anderson? John Cusack? Fleet Foxes? And someone actually took the intitiative to call out The Decemberists???

Fine, here's my retaliatory measure: I think Caddyshack is stupid, and highly overrated. Same for Seinfeld. And 30 Rock.

Take it. Take it hard.

Professionally...but not romantically, I trust?

There's nothing smug about 30 Rock or The Office. I don't know where you're getting that from. The fans are smug, sure, but you can't blame the shows.

This isn't really a popular topic, but I hate that y'all seem to love the Borne sequels. I watched the first 45 minutes of Borne 2 and couldn't keep watching, and then y'all say that the third is like the second one but better, which to me sounds like a pile of shit, but with more shit. The first one was a brilliant movie, the second one was a piece of shit action flick.

Now it just seems like the site is filled with weird thirty year olds who don't know each other but act like they do or something. What is the use of creating a community that is ultimately based on a false sense of familiarity and spewing nonsense?

Posted by: OT at April 15, 2009 8:10 PM
--------------------------------------------------

Damn.
I belong to a community built around an online radio station and, like many of the 'jibans, we actually get together on (at least) an annual basis... and have the same sense of family that is found among the good folks here. "A false sense of familiarity"? Jebus, when Alabama Pink passed the sense of loss felt by all was as strong as if a family member had been taken too soon because, in a very real way, it was exactly the same feeling.
As for weird... well, yeah? So fuckin' what? Weird is cool and these are the coolest people ever.

Hey, I'm not thirty something. Don't call me OLD.

*runs the hell away*

And ChristianH, alas, I'm taken both outside and inside of Pajiba. What can I say, I'm hot stuff.

I love this thread. Like Dustin said, it proves we're not sheep, but we're a tight, diverse community.

So baaaaaaah the fuck off.

If I see a guy who looks exactly like me - same hair, same eyes, same weight, etc - only with a mustache and goatee, I'm going to walk right up to my evil doppelganger and say, "Hi Skitz. How goes?" Then I'm going to cock punch him for disliking baseball (a pro sport). Past that, I agree with everything my evil self dislikes.

I hate Star Trek. I think its iterations - with a few episodes of Next Generation excepted - are mindless, stupid, sci-fi fluff made to coddle the socially retarded, emotionally stunted sci-fi fans. When I see someone dressed up as their favorite character, I have a hard time stifling a laugh. Fuck Star Trek - I hope L. Ron Hubbard is skull-fucking Gene Roddenberry in Hell.

I never had any desire to watch Lost or 24. I saw the first season of Heroes on DVD and it confirmed everything I thought about it back when I originally saw the premiere and decided not to follow it. I've seen the storylines done better in better comic books.

I'll keep my thoughts regarding World Of Warcraft to myself. Who needs two socially inept mobs gunning for me?

Some real hatred out here. So let me add mine:

- I have never seen Lost, but I'm sure it'll somehow be explained by a meteor/time vortex/a dream sequence/a drug-induced dream sequence/aliens or angels testing humanity's souls.

- Never cared for The Office. I think Steve Carrell's funniest stint was with The Daily Show years ago -- OK, that and Anchorman.

- I LOATHE Zach Braff and his movies and Wes Anderson and his movies. Oh and American Beauty, Ordinary People, Revolutionary Road and any other White Well-To-Do Families Struggle With Their Perfect Lives movies.

- Tell Michael Gondry to start writing a script before he starts shooting.

- What the fuck was Donnie Darko all about?

- Tell whoever puts the music column to stop listening to all that indie self-centered junk and put some Iron Maiden and AC/DC on!

I'm a little surprised by all the Kristen Bell hate. I like to think of her as my vegetarian-snarky-blonde soulmate. We'd totally be BFF. And this is not just because I loved Veronica Mars. Which was awesome by the way, disregarding season three.

That being said, I hate 30 Rock. The Office is okay most days, even really funny every now and then, but 30 Rock just plain sucks.

And I second the "meh" on TDK. I'm not a super hero action film kind of girl, but it wasn't that bad. But the greatest of all time? Hardly. Ledger's Oscar was just overdue from Brokeback.

this is, by the way, the whiniest, bitchiest thread I've ever seen here.

I do not wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener. That is not what I'd really like to be. Because if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, I'd be dead, motherfucker.

yeah, I hear that, Lucas.

But it's bringin' me *down*, man.

Extra was crap. Some of the celebrity cameos were really funny (Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Ronnie Corbett) but on the whole? Mustard thoroughly uncut.

Which leads to Kate Winslet. Can someone just tell her to...(I'm trying to think of a less hateful way of saying 'shut the fucking fuck up, put on some clothes, and if you start Oscar-jockeying and bitching about you weight again I will slap the ass off of your face) stop? Easily the least funny Extras appearance too. Incongruity between public perception and actual behaviour! Oooh, and a wacky costume!

Cameron Crowe films make me want to defenestrate myself. Dobler needs to kickbox himself off a cliff.

High Fidelity was good book. The end.

The Wizard of Oz. No severed limbs? We're done.

Casa-Blank Stare. I've attempted this movie six times, and have fallen asleep every time. And I have a diagnosed sleep disorder. Hmm, maybe I should buy it and lay off the warm milk.

Saw a few episodes of Veronica Mars. I didn't make it to three.

Alyson Hannigan. Same delivery of every line: 'I'm so cute, aren't I chipper little stinker? I'm on a SIT-COM'. Fire her.

Art Linklatter. Waking Life: Praying for Death.

Fight Club. DO drop the soap, you'll get exactly what you deserve.

Larry Sanders Show. Just put Gary's scalpel out to pasture. It's seen enough action.

Maggie Gyllenhaal, you don't have to jowls to get away with your BEYOND-abhorrent character in Stranger Than Pirandello (who had the guts to follow his story to its natural conclusion).

I think Violet Affleck is the ugliest fucking baby to have ever been spawned. Come at me bitches.

I'd like to know what the snake oil to cocaine ratio is at Bob Dylan's apothecary.

Blade Runner. There's rape scene that's a hundred times more radical than anything in Observe and Report. Also See: Boring as Fuck.

The Arcade Fire: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

'Would you say that to Zooey Deschanels'? What? That the musical industry is already too overloaded with almost pathologically tuneless indie spittle, and her songs aren't helping? Yes. Yes I would. Why aren't any of the indie bands allowed to sing well? By that token, Death Club for Whiny.

Seinfeld: A show about tedium. Although Elaine's dancing was pretty boss.

I think Bryan Cranston is great. He's such a talented person, and seems like a sweetheart, too. Breaking bad? If I wanted to see a desperate authority figure peddling drugs to burnouts, I'd turn my head.

I always go into something wanting to enjoy it, so I'm saying this just to be contrary. I'll never understand the fascination surrounding The Man Who is Also a Bat. Fell asleep in Batman Begins, only made it through TDK because I knew I'd be getting some action afterwards. *sigh*, I miss that.

Sarah Silverman, you are on my shit list.

She's written some stuff that I enjoy, but anything who thinks Margaret Atwood is funny is off of his meds.

Jimmy Carr is repulsive, as is what's-his-face with the rat nest on his head.

Star Wars.

FUCKING HOCKEY. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! And I'm from Canada. High-stickin', low scorin', and miasma? you BET it exists. *puke-a-duke*

This could go on for days. I have to get back to work.

I completely agree with hating on Leo Dicaprio in every role except Arnie Grape in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I hate that movie by the way, but I thought Leo was actually incredibly good at playing... I'm not sure what euphemism is embraced right now...developmentally delayed(?). Maybe if he just sticks to that...

I think it's kind of therapeutic. We all need to get stuff off our chests. I mean, some of the comments could piss me off, but why let them? I like knowing that opinions aren't universal on Pajiba, and besides, I'm gonna kill everyone who doesn't agree with me, eventually.

But really, I'm not gonna let it bug me. I honestly think it's done in good fun, and no one (except the trolls) is gonna be offended by opinions expressed here or anything.

I disagree.

But, you know, different strokes.

I'm so glad this topic was chosen, because I have a grievance to air here.

I hated Firefly. Hated it. I gave it a chance, hell, I gave it too many chances! I watched more than four episodes only to realize that this show was boring, hokey, childish, cheaply sentimental and poorly acted. Above all, it was guilty of the worst possible sin: taking itself WAY to seriously. Christ on a cracker, when your characters are riding spaceships around some Wild-West version of the galaxy, you need to lighten up!

Ahhhh. I feel better now.

Ha! Exactly! It's The Airing of the Grievances!

Next week: The feats of strength!

Easterus for the rest of us!

Next week: The feats of strength!

You're going down Figs. I've been tossing Mooses for about for weeks now.

Branded, I agree with your distain for Barrymore and coountry music. As a matter of fact, I think a country song about Drew Barrymore may have been the WMD that Bushy was looking for.

When do we gather around the Rowles pole and tell everyone how much they've disappointed us?

Um, reading that back, I'm not sure I like the image ... ew.

i love keanu too!
i just didn't want to be the only one.

I would say "thanks for the catharsis", but this is just a ripple in my sea of bile.

Anything "Apatow crowd"-related, anything Diablo Cody-related, Arrested Development or The Wire (couldn't give less of a shit), the disdain for The Mentalist (which is a comfort food like mashed potatoes with real butter--and it's the first time in years that a show I like seems to be guaranteed a second season, so fuck right off), most of the new music recs (although the Telefon Tel Aviv rec and that Dead Prez cut were great!), and the lack of a requirement that those who post be 30 or over. Unless that would exclude Jay, who makes me wish I had a penis.

That last one isn't directed at a certain person, it's more of a wish for life in general. Kind of a reverse Logan's Run, where everyone under 30 and over 75 gets remanded to interment camps in the remote areas of Montana for the winter (in summer, say hello to the New Mexico desert!) and the rest of us enjoy better parking, movie theaters and libraries that are actually quiet, and networks who covet our opinions and disposable income and program themselves accordingly.

Oh, and the fact that the Firefly spot in the banner is missing while Daniel Day-Lewis' Moustache of Menace is still up there.

And fuck The Incredibles, too.

I really don't get Family Guy.

I have fallen asleep during most (nay, all) Wes Anderson movies I've seen. All my friends think he's a comic genius but I don't ever laugh.

Jason Schwartzman is not funny.

I love LOLcats.

I feel so free now.

I just don't get Rowles' man-love for this Pookie guy. All damn day long it's "Pookie this" and "Pookie that" and "Pookie, you're the greatest." I think I speak for all Pajiblets when I say: Enough already.

I love Dharma & Greg. I own the complete series.

I also hate that Conrad somehow managed to win an EE.

I think that aside from the general storylines, any/all versions of Final Fantasy are a mindfuck of tedium* and a goddamed chore to play. Entertainment is lost...

*Who receives credit for that phrase? I use it often...

OK,

I recently just said how much I don't like Jonah Hill. I'm beginning to lose my taste for the Apatow movies as a whole. I will still stand up for Paul Rudd, but everyone else needs to go away from his little posse and take some time off and regroup. And stop giving your wife larger roles in every movie. She's a sidekick, not a love interest.

Kristen Wiig, cute girl, 100 variations on the same theme.

I don't like any modern music. Who the fuck is Lady Gaga? I've seen preop trannies that looked better than her. Remember when people actually had to sing on a song?

I disagree with the Say Anything bashers, but that's your right. I was a senior in HS when it came out and it hit me just right.

Clifford - You are right, Jason Schwartzman is not funny. His mother was the worst part of the Godfather and Rocky movies as well. Remember which movie she had the most lines in? Godfather 3....and that sucked big fat schwanze.

I don't understand the Twilight love. I've avoided big hyped items in the past like Titanic and this just seems like much ado about nothing. And the two leads look to be fucking morons.

I never watched ER. And I know someone who was on the show the last 4-5 seasons.

Skitz, I love the fact that I won an EE. I hate I still haven't gotten the shirt.

star wars.

Um thanks Dustin, I think?

Spender: I honestly didn't mean to offend you. I guess I was referring more to the state of the internet in general, I mean how much of the site and the entertainment you get from it is derived from comments and readers' contributions? Especially when there is such a crazy band of Pajiba militants who will argue about anything. Whether that should be considered interactivity or exploitation I don't know.

How come the Pajibans don't do some sort of activism for net neutrality preservation? That could be cool.

To whoever said the thing about knowing about films, the fact of the matter is that the more you broaden your cultural and historical context in terms of cinema, your perceptions of films will change. You don't have to be so defensive just because you love Seth Rogen or whatever.

Anna von whocares: I also seriously think that you have too much spare time.

I'm not sure what the grievance is. When the reviewers aren't 'bitchy' enough, that becomes a point of contention. Then, when there's an open invitation to bitch, no strings attached, hands start wringing over the whining bitchiness. This place is great fun, but I'm starting to wonder when the Pajiba Manifesto Sponsored by Biafra Books Incorrigible is going to be published.

Isn't this just a place to have fun and write sometimes intelligent, sometimes crack-addled comments on the worst celebrity hell-spawn ever
created? I vent senselessly on my poor Pajiba friends because in real life I don't like getting slapped.

Hoping that doesn't sound like I'm trying to be condescending or hypocritical.

Ah, who cares? I'm still on a high after going the most kickass concert of my life last night. I rocked out like a brain-damaged Kilted Yaksman front row, centre.

Oh, and 2001: A Space Odyssey is totally overrated - even though I've never made it all the way through. By the time the monkey throws the bone in the air, I'm snoring and dribbling ever so slightly.

Family Guy. It's just too stupid for me.

Brokeback Mountain.
HATED that movie. I found it to be overrated and plodding, with no help from Anne Hathaway, who I think is a simply horrendous actress. So if you want to include a semi popular actress in the Pajiba world who I loathe, there you go.

Ok, I haven't read all the comments, so I'll just say this.....I hate, repeat HATED, HATE Seinfeld. Not funny, over-rated, self-indulgent, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, look-how-clever-we-are humor that got real old, real fast. You all suck. Now go away.

I feel better now. Thank you. Commence to hate me.

Skitz, you are dead to me.
Doctor Controversy, as much as you hurt my heart, I will give you one more chance. Go read Survivor or Lullaby, and THEN tell me Palahniuk is just "OK"...

I may get lynched for this, but Apocalypse Now...saw it for the first time about a year ago, and really...not impressed at all. Maybe I expected too much. All I know is that when it was over, I was like, "That was it??" Same thing with The Deer Hunter. Maybe it's just war movies that suck for me, but I still think these two sucked a lot of ass.

I also didn't particularly like The Dark Knight. Couldn't help but laugh and Bale's "Batman Voice" the whole time, thought it was way too fucking long, and even though I love both Aaron Eckhardt and Maggie Gyllenhaal, I didn't think anyone did a particularly good job acting in the movie. For that matter, I hated Batman Begins as well. Boring as fuck, and I understand it's Gotham City and it's supposed to be dreary as fuck, but it was so dark in all the shots I felt like I couldn't make out what was what. Oh, and the story sucked. And I am a huge comic fan and love Batman...these movies were just a pile of crap for me.

Also Sarah Silverman = not funny at all. Rented Jesus is Magic, made it like, 20 mins in (longest 20 mins of my life) before I gave up. Her show is fucking terrible as well.

Fleet Foxes is the worst fucking band I've ever heard play in my life. Heard them for the first time when they were on SNL, and I couldn't help but question if it was a skit or not...couldn't believe that there were ppl that looked like that and sounded like that, that had an audience.

And I {heart} Dave Matthews Band. Don't care how that makes me sound, but their music puts me in a happy place, so :-P

Wow, I feel SO much better : )

I like Twilight. The movie, not the book.

I've seen the movie four times. Wow. I feel better.

Man, it's not that I dislike it - I just don't give a shit. Regardless, should anybody randomly punch me in the sack some day, I'm going to assume it's you, David.

I would at least give you fair warning, Skitz. I'd say something like "Avast, Evil David!!!" before the ol' KAPOW! Then I'd buy you a pint or two. Such is my respect and agreement for your opinions, baseball apathy aside. But you'd know it was me because I'm the guy who looks exactly like you, minus the evil mustache and goatee.

That said, I don't understand the Will Ferrell love, Anchorman and Stranger Than Fiction aside. He essentially plays the same character in every other movie.

Warner Bros. cartoons are far better than Disney cartoon. I'm speaking about the shorts, not the feature length films.

I've never read a Harry Potter novel, and I never plan to. There's a tirade behind that statement that involves the words "undeserved adoration," "useless British children," and "doesn't actually do anything." But it's long-winded and borders on the psychotic.

I hate the commentators. While I enjoy the comment roundups with the best comments, I hate how ridiculously elitist the commentators themselves seem. I'm sure it is not intentional, but it is hard for me to want to comment on a review or a story, when the comment thread is devoted to some goddamn argument that has NOTHING to do with the review. It would be nice, if commentators who are "established" and whatnot made an effort to include others by staying somewhat on topic, rather than ranting about inside jokes that only 12 other people and the editors understand.

I've been reading Pajiba from the very beginning, or at least a few months in, and I love it to death. I honestly try reading the comments, and try participating, but it just never seems worth it to me.I don't have time to read every comment, or to post on every story, and it makes me feel like a second-class citizen whenever I do read the comments.

As for celebrities, like some others, I hate Kate Winslet. She is neither attractive, nor talented. And yes, I also hated Eternal Sunshine.

Hey luker for 2 years...I can understand how off-topic comments/arguements can throw you. Hell I myself am guilty of participating in them...but that should never stop you from commenting.

I hate the people who bitch about comments...but never comment. If you are making a comment on the review/article at hand but the thread is arguing about velcro vs. laces...no one is gonna lash out at you and flame you out because you are on the topic, but just not theirs....

...unless your comment is stupid and doesn't conform to our elitist tendencies and conform to our established opinions. Then you just suck.

But yeah...lurkers...stop being wussies because a "thread is off-topic" or "cetain commenters dominate...blahblahblah". Certain eloquents became eloquents because they decided to comment. Hell...some of them became reviewers themselves. But guess what...if you never say anything...don't bitch and moan because you never say anything. Your fucking keyboard is right in front of you...all you need to do is move your digits to the keys in a concise and coherent fashion.

Thank you for commenting luker... (dude...you totally have to keep the typo in your handle now...it's unique)...but never be afraid. And if anyone fucks with you, including me, just fuck with them right back. Just comment already...or just ignore them. Bunch of handles on a website is all we be mate.

A bunch of love handles.

I know I'm late to the party, but: I honestly don't understand why you jizz all over yourselves for Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen. I feel like it's because they're two of the only famous people who would take the time to talk to you and because Rogen looks like Dan. They both seem like cool enough people in real life, but their movies aren't that great. I hate that growly shout-voice Rogen does when he's trying to express anger or something in his movies. It's cringe inducing. As is the "pillow-pants" kid in Clerks II and the poop scene in Zach and Miri. Anyhoo. Carry on!

Super late to the party, so as to accompany my whine with some irrelevance! An excelent repast.

I dislike 90% of the films on the Pajiba Blockbuster list. "Office Space" was underwhelming and doesn't deserve to be on the top banner. Ryan Reynolds has the same eye-wonk as Kristin Bell, where their gaze goes inward instead of out. They aren't cross-eyed per se, but don't pretend it isn't there.

Also, the whole thing on the site where the NEXT post down the page links to the left arrow, and the PREVIOUS post links to the right, bamboozles the fuck outta me every time. Since when, in the western world, does going right mean going backwards? The next post down from the top of the page should be linked with the right arrow.
Eh? EH?

stupid spell check...

uncomfy rope.

There's a "Dave" and a "David"? Fuck. Now I have to change my name.

And really, PissBoy... no offense taken. I like and respect your opinions even when I disagree. That's the "Pajiba Way", no?

Oh, fuck, no... NOW it's on. Anyone who thinks that "Milaukee's Best" sucks is... well, dead to me.
DEAD, I tells ya!

Always late to the damn party.

Ahem. I hate: Office Space, Napoleon Dynamite, Borat, Say Anything (I could happily fucking kill that damned paperboy. Oh, the loathing, it fills my soul.), and honestly? I was expecting Juno and Knocked Up to be peeing-in-my-panties funny. I hate comedies that are hyped to the point where you think that you could possibly die of asphyxiation from laughing, but then when you watch them you're all, "Really? This is all you've got? What the fuck?!" And then for the next two hours you question whether or not you're losing your sense of humor. Thus, the bad movie machine sucks 4 hours out of your life that you'll never get back. Fuckers.

stina,

TOTALLY saw Fleet Foxes on SNL as well. My husband and I spent the whole time going, "Um, really?" Sounded like dudes from 5 different bands played 4 different songs while the lead singer was doing a drunk Meat Loaf impression. SO BAD, so over-the-top, so out of sync with each other. Maybe their recordings are better, I wouldn't know, because watching them live was just painful.

Samuel L. Jackson. bleh.

He and Jack Nicholson can only play themselves.

Hacks.

PissBoy is my hero. We should have that response to luker in a Guide to New Commenters.

Seriously. A year ago I was too afraid to comment, and now...well, now I talk to damn much. But you gotta dig your own trench in this place. And STAY there.

Oh! I give up!

DUDE!! Eyvi! I feel your pain! It seems like some combinations of punctuation and html tags just get wiped! I just pound my fists and kick a puppy when that happens. And you KNOW it always happens when you have something good to say....and you've typed for a mile. Has nothing to do with being a noobie. Stupid 'puters.

Hey luker, I'm a longtime lurker sometime commenter...I'm pretty sure people just blank on my posts on their way to funnier ones, but does it stop me? Does it fuck.

I don't care either way, it just feels good to ramble.

Hope you continue to comment, though it's still fun here either way.

Yes, it sometimes gets dull being on the periphery, I can emphasize completely. But I'm just not invested in being Internet-Popular. I've been reading for four years, and uh, you know, screw it. People form bonds, make cliques and trade inside jokes in every possible social arena. Interpersonal dynamics won't mystically become derailed because of this bubble. Then I remember: I can't be bothered to make friends in real life, so I'm not going to ingratiate myself here either.

Godtopus, MurderTank, Eloquents, sexual banter, I don't pay close enough attention to know what any of that is. If I did, when would I be able to schedule my 'weeping softly into my pillow time'?

There's something to be said for not getting dragged into mind-bendingly hostile flame wars. I mean, if half of the remarks I see here were directed towards me, I would ruin this place with my anger.

Everyone wants to know that in some corner of the universe, there's a meritocracy that rewards intelligence and encourages bonhomie. We also want to believe that we're the standard bearers of those twin aspirations. In a setting like this, you live and die by the force of your personality and that of the ones around you. In real life, we can think of all types of reasons-- completely divorced from our actual being-- to explain why we're just not there yet. When you're anonymous, you don't get that comfort/excuse.

Rightly or wrongly, this is often around the time when pejoratives like 'hivemind', 'elitist', 'hipster douchebag', 'misogynist' start getting flung around. Thus we have entered into a round of: 'I hate X comments', 'Then stay away, nobody'. Often when reading these events, there can be a pervasive 'No Homers' aura about the place, and the feeling of exclusion I would assume can be daunting. As if one has arrived to a party that started before you arrived, and would be fine without your presence.

Individuals who are less deranged than I am could take that as a huge cue: Why even bother, right? I'm guessing the reason that some others don't want to de-lurk is because of the feeling that there's a cognitive disconnect between the notion held here that it's not blood in our veins, but ichor. Don't forget. But if that's the case, why are there descents into junior high juvenile hijinks.

Compound that with the fact that a number of comments have ended up with a spot on staff, and I guess it stands to reason that a person could become despondent over a semi-real consequence of being ignored. What makes so-and-so so great?

Speaking up and being of no consequence is far more galling than not speaking up, and adopting an air of detached bemusement over the nature/quality of the comments. But, if you don't say anything, you're depriving us of your various witty remarks.

I lurked for a long time before I posted anything. I keep reading that people are anxious about becoming a viscera sandwich for the cool kids. Bah! I posted for the first time because I felt like it, so cliques be damned, and to hell with all your mercy!

Entre-nous, I don't know what anyone is talking about half the time. I just comment on the topic, someone has to, right? All told, it's just names on a screen until you connect with the ideas of someone else, or clash. Going in for insta-popularity just seems forced, desperate and disingenuous.

I want to hear what YOU have to say, not see a sad bid for acceptance from the members who have been ordained as, or fancy themselves to be The Augers of Awesome. When a young Gershwin met Ravel, he played some of his compositions for the older composer. Not being confident enough to really let his own voice shine through, he took up the models of the European composers and music. When he asked for advice on how to make his music more European, Ravel, seeing his talent said, why be a second-rate Ravel when you're a first-rate Gershwin? Nothing lame in trying and being your super self. If some stuck-up prig gives you heat for it, tell him to go suck a fuck!

Also, Freaks and Greeks? About as special as a rolled-up twenty in a crack den.

(off topic portion)
Look I am not trying to pretend like there is a physical force stopping me or other people like me from commenting. In fact I'm being a huge hypocrite and ignoring the main comment thread for this one.

I understand that the eloquent group is NOT a table of popular kids that is exclusive in the breakfast club sense. Pissboy you are right, no one has to play any role that they don't want to, as you control your name and your public perception.

What DOES matter is that often times trying to comment is like trying to review act 2 of the sequel to a movie you also haven't seen.

What would make it much easier, is if there was an honest to god background. While I may not know BSG well, I can read the wikipedia, get the basics down and still appreciate/understand most of the damn comments. It would be nice to have that here as well for the actual commentators.

(On topic portion): i can think of at least three informercials that are more fun to watch than lost in translation--shamwow, shaving legs by rubbing things on them, snuggie)

Damn...
Jo Mama's comment belongs in The Pajiba Hall of Fame.
Brilliant.

I was thinking about this thread in the shower this morning. (Yes, I think about Pajiba in the shower.) It occurred to me that some of the defenses and attacks of specific pop culture items seem to be more on point as to what qualifies as "Pajiban" than others. Perhaps Pajiba readers are perhaps a bit more disparate in taste than we might assume. Obviously, Dustin and company ultimately determine the prevailing conversation of what is "good" and what is "bad." I'm curious, though, what stars, movies, television shows, etc., qualify as the most "Pajiban."

For example, on the top banner right now we have The Incredibles, Office Space, Say Anything, Lost, There Will Be Blood, Robert Downey Jr., and The Dark Knight singled out. I consider myself a casual fan of all of those but a hardcore fan of only three of the seven.

My idea is to create a survey for Pajiba readers in which a grand list is presented, and each person rates each item in terms of their enthusiasm as a fan. Perhaps a scale of 1 to 5 could be used with 5 being intense fandom, 3 indifference, and 1 intense dislike. Then we could consolidate all the results and have a definitive list of what Pajiba readers most enjoy. Once this is completed, then a discussion like this becomes more relevant. (E.g., if Ryan Reynolds were statistically crowned the king of Pajiba, stating an opinion here that he sucks becomes more interesting.)

Just a random idea from a former statistician...

Ooh DarthCorleone, do it, do it!

I don't care how smuggy Dennis Miller it is, Skitz just successfully pulled off a Gleaming the Cube reference.

Bwahahahahahah! (Is what delight sounds like).

I'd be happy to do the busy work on the project, y'all, although it might end up taking several weeks at least. First and foremost, I'd need a pulpit larger than comment #300 on this thread to get everyone's feedback on what belongs on the list. Second, I'd need actual participation from enough people for it to be relevant once I complete the survey.

Man, I know there's a Cool Kids Table figgums, I'm just to hipster to sit at it, dig? I'd explain, but I've got to sneek outside for an American Spirit and polish of what's left of my PBR Tall Boy before hitting the secondhand store for a pair of testicle crushing women's jeans and a junior-sized hoodie with a pocket for this month's copy of Readymade. Meet me at the VFW later and we'll discuss why Good Times is the anti-Cosby Show and you can give me a ride to the VideoTan - they found me a mint VHS of Johnny Suede... I'd invite you, but I noticed you smile too much. That and you look like you showered recently... My friends aren't into that scene...

Dustin>> Right after I wrote that post, I saw your introduction on that other thread today and wondered if you were thinking similarly. I don't have much experience with web-based surveying, but there's probably an easy web engine that could be used to make it happen. If my idea has any appeal, I was thinking it should probably be a scale of 1 to 9 to allow for a little more differentiation in personal ranking. 5 could be indifference, and there could also be a separate answer altogether to indicate complete lack of knowledge. (E.g., "Who's Alyson Hannigan?") It could be broken down into music, books, movies, specific people from all arenas, etc. I think it'd be interesting to see not only what has the highest and lowest averages but also which have the widest variances (thus, inspiring the most love/hate). I'll be interested to see what you have in mind...

Slim >> LOL

It's all for science, I tell you! Science has never been misused. :- )

or to only talk about velcro.

Ha! That was awesome "Luker".

I haven't seen a movie in theaters since Gleaming the Cube.

And that made me pee a little, Skittums.

What'd I do now?

I sincerely hope I didn't offend anybody with anything I might have said in the comments above. Please know that more than anything, I wish to be welcomed into your homes. I long to break bread with your families, peruse your vacation albums, listen to witty anecdotes, and have a safe place to lay my weary head when the night comes to an end.

Will I wait until you are deep in slumber before rising to rifle through your medicine cabinets? Of course I will. For that is what a good guest does. Will I use your good flatware to jimmy the lock on your video cabinet looking for pornographic home movies? Of course not. That would be incredibly rude. I'll simply bash the lock with a decorative vase or a picture frame. Will I raid your liquor cabinet of the top shelf libations that I earlier turned down in exchange for a glass of cheap Merlot? Yes. Indeed I will. Because I am a fiend when it comes to alcohol. And when you arise to find my under-developed, parasitic half-brother and I blacked out in your front yard with your intoxicants raging through our body and the VCR looping you and your beloved's first attempts at anal, know this: you brought it upon yourself when you invited us in...

I see Skitz singing "Oh, Deanna, oh, oh, Deanna...."

He ain't down here for your money, he ain't down here for your love, he's down here for your soul....

Is there any way I can have Wendel over and make Skitz wait out in the car?

NATALIE PORTMAN. Plain looking without makeup, and an extremely boring actress. I don't care what university she went too, she cannot act.

I completely forgot to say Wes Anderson! Phew. As you were, everyone.

I prefer my anger bridled, with spurs and a whip. But that just angers my bride.