Pajiba

not being a breeder, I don't have any names I wish to slap on offspring. but I can tell you that, when my mom was 9 years old, she decided what she would name her firstborn child. thankfully, she wised up by the time she procreated, but she always remembered the moniker and shared the info with me. so allow me to tell you how happy I am that I do not have to introduce myself as "indian moonstone lippencott."

be kind to your child, kolby. or it may come back to nibble your bumside...

"scorzi" is my nickname from playing sports. My last name is actually Scorzoni but it never really fit on the back of jerseys and a track coach started calling me scorzi in high school. First name is Leanne (waves to everyone out there in Pajiba-land).

The writer side of me would love to name my children Ophelia, Rain, Free, Balthazar, or Francie but since I don't want my kids in therapy I will most likely go with Nathaniel/Nate or Elise.

P.S. If you know what novels those names are from then I'll marry you :-)

I've had many nicknames, including the evil Snaggletooth, given to me by my Dad when I was younger. I had very not straight teeth, which took 8 years of braces and jaw surgery to correct, and he was very drunk all of the time. Beat that! I've also been called Firecrotch and The Last Jo-di (pronounced like Jedi) Warrior. If anyone I know reads Pajiba, don't rat out my real name!!

My commenter name comes from what I used to call my husband when he would say or do something highly stupid. Instead of calling him dipshit or queef brains, I would call him a dangle. And, of course, McGee is an all-purpose surname for awesomeness. Ta-fuckin'-da, I have commenter name!

I work with a girl who named her kid "Maverick."

I also know a girl with a one year old daughter named "Paradise." We joked that she wouldn't have to change it when she became a stripper.

I want to have fraternal, mixed-gender twins, just so I can name them Lucifer and Lilith.

Though my parents would then quite quickly disown me. =/

I've gone through a crap load of nicknames most of which are still in regular rotation, but the one I find most humorous is Manna, hence the handle. Sometimes in photos, from certain unflattering angles, I can look, how shall we say, mannish. My name is Anna. Thus, Manna.

And while I know we're talking about people names, my mom had a beagle growing up named Penelope* Woo Padoggy. Fucking awesome.

*pronounce Peneloap - no ee on the end

As far as a great pet name goes, John Oliver called his cat "Meowgret Thatcher" on the Daily Show.

My one roommate calls me exclusively by Antoine (Antwan?) a reason for which has been lost to the ages.

I love BarbadoSlim's handle for the obscure Futurama reference, LaBarbara .

And My name actually was what I used in my short-lived High School Hip Hop Group- Thesaurus Rex. My rhymes were much better than my flow and decades fresher than the beats provided by DJ D-White. (Also known as my black best friend Dwight)

ack! I have an orange and white kitten, rather.

And I got the name Rollerson from my participation in the sketch I've linked.

I was all erudite and feminist and was looking for an ancient woman of words. Oh sure, there's Sappho, but I didn't want to be Sappho1963 or some such. So I chose Telesilla who was a poet in the Greek city of Argos. The legend says that after the Spartans defeated the men of Argos, Telesilla armed the women and led them to victory against the Spartans, who probably freaked out at the idea of catching some girl cooties or something.

It was only after I'd made the username my own in many places online did I learn that it also means "chairlift" in Spanish. Do an image search on google and this -- http://lamesadelaschikis.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/telesilla.jpg?w=495&h=409 -- awesome image is the third one to come.

So when you bend over? Watch out for the Telesilla.

"anikitty" is my cat's nickname. His given name is Annika. I don't think that he has any gender identity issues since he's been fixed. I think that he's more pissed that I've stolen his identity and use it on the internet.

Perfect baby names...I don't play this game...I make up band names...

I'm partial to Cooper or Brennan.

We have 2 cats that I helped name; Kaylee and Kira. I wanted Kira to be Inara but was voted down because we already had one Firefly homage and the wife loves The Dark Crystal (and is in mourning of the sequel's apparent demise).

Then we have 2 kids that I did not help name. One is named after a New Kid on the Block. The other after a character on Friends. I learned this recently and am happy to say I had nothing to do with it. For my part, I always wanted to name a boy Calvin and a girl Samantha. Then my sister named her daughter Samantha so that was out. Calvin would be named after Calvin & Hobbes, the greatest comic strip ever. Yes, including Bloom County but it's DAMN close.

My mom told me that my dad had wanted to name me Uribble if I was a boy or Uribbla if I was a girl. She has maintained this story for 20 years so I have no idea if she is just fucking with me. However she has to know that I'll never ask my Dad if it is true because it's too embarrassing no matter which way it plays out. Brilliant and evil, that's my mom.

I always check out the birth announcements in the local paper for a laugh and the best two that I've found lately are "Destini Dawn" and "Paizley Cheyanne".

Way to go, parents - why don't you just go ahead an install a pole in the playroom?

If the bf and I ever have kids we've decided on Jack Burton for the boy and Charlotte Kei for the girl. I've always really liked the name Genevieve (Eve for short) but he really, really wants to have a daughter he can call "Charlie" because of the movie Firestarter. He's a dork. (Although I guess I can't say much considering I'm really looking forward to teaching little Jack Burton as many lines from Big Trouble in Little China as possible)

My screen name came from a friend of mine in college making me a sticker that said "(Real name) is a Super Deluxe Babe." It stuck.

One of the names I picked was, coincidentally, that of a girl I hated in high school. Don't worry about it Krix.

Mr. Henry and I would joke that we would have sons named Ace, Chance and Cannon. Then we found out that Larry King has sons named Chance and Cannon.

Remember the episode of The Simpsons when they choose Bart's name and Homer says "Bart, Cart, Dart. Nope nothing bad rhymes with Bart"? We had a boy and went with Ewan. I thought I had sussed out the potential horror (Ewan's pooin') and then a 10 year old girl said "Hey look! The first part of his name is "ew". I am an idiot. There was an actual spreadsheet of names and comparative popularity when making the choice. I am a thorough idiot.

My husband told me that if I died, he would name the baby America. Second name? The Beautiful. But I didn't die and neither did he, so I didn't get to name the boy Canada; the maple leaf tattoo on his newborn bum got the point across anyway.

I had these colleagues (fellow weather forecasters) who were having a baby. The husband wanted to name the child Coriolis...after the Coriolis Force. Ya...we talked him out of that. They went with Hunter instead.

My handle is a reference to an A Perfect Circle song. I know it's spelled wrong, but I can't always type out the tilde so I modified it.

And of course, Huge Congrats to Kolby!

Awww, idgiepug! I wish that really was your surname because "Wrigley Pug" sounds like the most adorable name ever!

Best wishes to Kolby and family for a smooth and magical delivery! No plans for babies myself, although as names go, I rather like Maren for a girl...boy names are tougher, but Robert is common in my family and I've always kind of liked it.

Meaux's a funkified spelling serving to distinguish me from other "Mo"s. Real name is Maureen, so I was always called Mo...or Momo...sometimes Mini-Mo....

I have a whole collection of these that were apparently just WAITING for this comment diversion.

It has been noted elsewhere, but it bears repeating that my best friend from high school let her husband name their baby, and the poor sucker's name is now Jack Burton Foster. Also, I have an acquaintance whose child is purportedly named Bjorn Free, but never having met the child or parents I cannot confirm that this is not completely apocryphal.

As a high school teacher I learn a lot of names every year, and one of my favorites has to be Lloyd Cheek III, otherwise known as Trey. Trey Cheek. Get it? Yeah. He didn't either when I tried to point it out to him. For some strange reason, lots of people are sensitive about their names.

Also, there was a guy at Wake Forest at the same time as me whose name was Robert Acock. And his middle name was Holden. I shit you not.

I have also had bosses named Willie Williams and David Davis, which is just stupid.

I'm never having kids, which is good, because I would hurt them with: Zeke, Zed, Starry Night and Liberty Belle.

Fuck it, they can hate me when they grow up.

My kid is named after my ex's extremely cool grandmother Nora. Pisses her off, because everyone mishears her name and calls her Laura. Oh, and even though the ex takes credit for coming up with it, it was MY idea. She's about the only person in that family I liked. Her husband died long before I arrived on the scene, but I figure all the asshole genes came from him. Stories make him out to be a real jerk.

If I'd had a boy, there was mucho pressure to name him after the ex, who already inherited a boring-ass first name from his father. Such a lack of originality. I wasn't going on along with it, and fortunately, I didn't need to.

The humorist in me wants to name my child Pope George the Awesome (just the first name) or I Don't Know.

Despite not being very religious, I've always liked the names Rachel and Michael.

Oh, and nicknames tend not to stick to me but my favorite was Tits McGee, which I have for two very obvious reasons. Otherwise, it was a string of shorty, short-stack, half-pint, etc. BORING. I am, however, the bestower of nicknames to everyone I know.
And I'm the bees knees because, well, I am.

Oooh, I love this discussion! I have this conversation weekly; my sister is expecting this month and still hasn't picked out a name. Being incredibly Irish, I lean towards those of a Gaelic variety, which are kind of weird and usually misspelled by people not familiar with them - however, they are very lovely.

Favorite nickname: red-headed slut (not because I'm either of those things, but it was randomly yelled out during an intense board game competition and stuck)

"eat my shorts" is just a phrase I stole from Bart Simpson.

I'm Eric, because my mom really likes vikings. Seriously. Middle name Richard, after my father.

My daughter's name is Evelyn, because my wife and I always liked the old-fashioned names. Her nickname is Evey (pronounced like the ev in ever not eve). Her middle name is Helena, named after a great something-or-other on my side, and my wife's mother Helen.

Our next child, due in April, will either be Violet Madeline or Nathan Oliver, depending on what we find out on Monday.

Long time reader, this is the first diversion to draw me out though, mostly because I named my child Flash. It was actually his mom's idea, but only because he's my favorite superhero. Flash Allen Skinner.

Congratulations Snath!!

Ah, forgot the commentor-name origin...

Snath is short for snáthaid mhór , which is gaelic for dragonfly.

Krix: One of them is.

For the record I always thought "Jealousy" was a pretty kick ass name for a girl.

My nickname is Lunganisa, or just Nisa. But the embarrassing part is Lunganisa is a skinny Filipino sausage.
Anyway, I love "Bex" and I loved saying it to drunk frat boys in college and getting awesome reactions. "Bex! Like the BEER! With an X!" and of course, "Sex with a 'B!'"
For kids names I've always liked Gemma for girls and Edward for boys... until a recent book ruined that name forever for me.

I am named after a huge firearm. Not kidding. It started out as a joke, but my NRA-card-holding parents actually went for it. I have two younger sisters with equally firearm-related names.

My Pajiba handle isn't hard to figure out, just read any of Lovecraft's works.

I am not a breeder, but I named my extremely co-dependent cat Oedi-puss.

Pea, I was 2 months premature and weighed 3.12 pounds. I looked like a fetus. I'm surprised my nickname isn't GAH What IS That THING?!

My middle name is unusual, and the same as my mother's, and I've always wanted to pass it on to my daughter. I'm not a big fan of "unique" names, but they work well with middle names. That being said, I really do want to name my daughter Eleanor. I love the name, and Eleanor of Aquitane was one hell of a scrappy woman (in the middle ages, in her 70s, she gets locked up by her son because she keeps trying, and suceeding, at taking over the country) and I want that for any daughter I might have. For boys I've always liked the name Joshua.

Elizabeth lends itself well to nicknames. I've been Beth, Liz, Bets, ebeth, Leeza, Lizzie and more. I have also been known as Bubbles and FP (short for Freakishly Perky thus named by a somewhat grumpy coworker). I answer to just about anything, but most often just Elizabeth.

As a child, I wanted to name any baby girl I may have, Asana. I think it was a brand of pesticide or something, but I thought it was pretty. I was teased mercilessly for that, but I did find out that there is a word like Asanah that means peace (or something like that). So, NYEAH to those who scoffed at me! I also like the names Indigo and Harrison.

My comment name is Tae (pronounced Tay) because that is what my oldest nephew used to call me before he could pronounce my real name, Kelly. I'm not sure how he got Tae out of that, but he was only two and I didn't question it. I just thought it was cute. My hubs still calls me Tae, so I use it online.

my commenter name origin is college where there were a LOT of Jens and also my last name is long, greek, impossible to pronounce and looks a lot like Vegas so I thusly became Jen Vegas to a lot of folks and it stuck. I just married a Garcia but I'll always be Vegas I think.
My favorite nickname, the only other nickname I've ever actually had was Shango Jen, after the dorm I lived in my freshman year in college. Which was, again a tool to differentiate me from the Jens in other dorms. There are like, 2 people on the planet who still call me that.

My favorite names for any possible future children would have to be Beatrice for Beatrice Hastings (Modigliani's muse) or Thomas (for my paternal grandfather.) But I've already named my cat Beatrice...but she's named for Ramona Quimby's older sister. It's a totally different literary reference! Do you think that will matter to a kid?

I am Shadows of Dakaron here because I've always loved words associated with darkness, and Dakaron is my world I created in my fantasy gaming.

I have as yet to produce spawn of my own...but I want to name my future daughter Amber Scout. I also like Deirdre, Drusila, Ivy, and Iris. And I always thought Alice a pretty name.

I try to avoid J-names, sice that's what my name starts with...and we all know how I turned out...

My niece and nephew did not have middle names, the plan was to wait until they were old enough and let them pick their own names. My niece who was 10 picked Summer...very nice, but my nephew who was only 8 at the time picked "Spidey". By the next summer he didn't even like Spiderman anymore.

Conan D. Kolb is a perfectly good name.

Ok, as I'm sure absolutely no one remembers, my family is really accident- and near-death-prone. I started out with the whole 'near death' thing by being born really damned early. Like, due October 31st, born July 22nd. The doctors didn't expect me to live, and told my mom not to bother naming me.

Well, except for her primary physician, who came in and asked what she wanted to name me. She wanted to go with Morticia, which my dad wouldn't allow, and she was hopped up on pain killers and not really expecting me to make it, either. So she just asked him, "What perfume am I wearing?"

Thus, my first name is Jasmine. To stick with the "M" theme without actually getting name "Morticia," my dad suggested the family name of Marie. Almost every woman in my family--on both sides, including the ones who married in--have Marie in their name somewhere. It was supposed to be my middle name, but the doctor accidentally wrote it backwards on the birth certificate, and no one ever fixed it. So I go by my middle name.

I found my handle while thumbing through the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. It refers to young thieves and ne'er-do-wells who were destined to become "the fruit of the deadly nevergreen." That was too awesome to pass up.

And gods forbid I ever actually spawn and have to name the poor thing. My current pets are named Jolly, Spooky, Pukwudje, Itzcuintl, Shika, Keegan, Remy, Dogmatyx, and Droolcilla. The main characters in my NaNovel are Iratze, Kepa, and Xanti. I cannot be trusted to name children.

My parents had a rule that Mom would name the girls, Dad the boys. Thank god for me. My dad really wanted to name me Bertha, after his semi (he's a truck driver). When my brother came along, he gave my mom two choices; Colt 45 or Bud Weiser. My mom decided Colt was the lesser of the two evils.

I don't have any offspring, but my Pointer is named Bramble (a northerner nickname for thorny bushes like raspberries).

Epimethea is my femininization of Epimetheus, the Titan of Greek mythology that had the gift of hindsight. Since I study early man and geology I figured it was appropriate.

Oops, one quick correction. Eleanor of Aquitane was actually imprisoned in her 50s for encouraging her sons to rebel against their father. Still a very cool and independant woman.

Ha! I was a hideous baby too! My parents called me "smurf" for years as I came out not breathing with the cord around my neck (therefore, blue) and a smooshed up head. Yeah.

My nephew came out blue and as a result he was named Michael Hutch Doss.

Julie...we've discussed this haven't we? About my niece being named Mark Katherine Elizabeth because of my sister's obsession with said movie?

That should read MARY Katherine Elizabeth

My daughter's name is Margaret and we call her either Margaret or Maggie. We may branch out into Maude and Peggy as she gets older. We almost did Mary.

Yes, we're Irish Catholic. Why do you ask?

My handle is my Chinese name, which my grandmother chose for me. Everyone in my family has a Chinese name, most picked by my grandma. She came over to America from China on a boat while preggers with my moms just after WWII ended. Maylai means "beautiful one" in Cantonese. I have it tatooed on my left leg, next to my Dragon, which symbolizes the year of my birth. :-)

The worse name I ever heard was screamed by a mom on a playground in downtown Oakland: "Courvoisier! You get over here right now!"
People, please do not name your spawn after alcohol. That is about as ghetto as it gets, no matter how pretty "Syrah" and "Marnier" may sound. Just say no.

*ahem*

Cal (my standard nickname)

Pooh (My nickname from my sister, she calls me nothing else)

The Weaver (my freshman dorm nickname; that is right: the entire dorm only referred to me as that name)

Dump (My father's hertofore unexplained childhood nickname)

Riverdale (my pretend middle name; yes, I made up a middle name)

Alexander/Jennifer (my dream boy/girl names, although I may have the firstborn have a variation on my name)

By the way, regardless of gender, my first born is going to be the IV.

V, if you're going to make some poor girl be the IV, then you should at least be merciful and name her Claudia so it'll sound more sensible when she has to explain the suffix to people. Besides, Claudia's also a pretty name on its own merit.

Of course, you could also name her Clarice, but then people will just do that tongue thing at her and talk about eating her flesh, so I wouldn't recommend it.

One of the most appropriate names I've ever heard is Greenleaf Burns, a guy I know who lives in Southern Humboldt County. That is his real name, and his parents gave it to him.

My son is named after his father, and of course, we aren't together anymore, so I have to call him by a nickname all the time.

My family used to name all of our animals after children's books characters. We had Winnie the Pooch, Lucy the dog (from Narnia), and Hermione the cat. Lucy and Hermione were named before the movies ever came out. Sadly, Lucy is the only one still alive.

I have some pretty embarrassing nicknames. My dad used to call me Little Nan Doone (something to do with Lorna Doone)- actually, he still calls me Doone. Exclusively. In public. I wanted to kill him for it when I was a teenager. In high school, I somehow was endowed with the nickname Al Dogg McGriff... my friends would scream it at me across campus. I got back at them by calling them Neal and Bob(my friend was named Teneal as in Captain and). It was rather apropos.

Prior to the first week of college, there was a weekend getaway for all incoming Freshmen. It sounded like a load of suck, but since I was new to the area and knew nobody, I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to go. Part of the weekend included each cabin coming up with a five-minute skit. Ours was a game show with shitty contestants and I played a schizophrenic who kept arguing with himself about the right answers. Afterward, somebody at the bonfire called me Schitzo and about a month later everyone was calling me Skitz. That was over a decade ago. There are people I've known for over ten years who don't know my real name. My godchildren call me Uncle Skitty.

Since I'd never commented on a website before, I figured Skittimus Maximus sounded classier than Skitz ('cause I'm all about class), but then I got tired of typing it. Skitimus Minimus basically wrote itself. Real name's Wendel.

If I had a baby, I dig Clara. If I had a boy, I dig Edward. If I had a dog, I dig Stinkfist. If I had a Coke, I'd teach the world to sing. And if I had to puke, yes - I would do it in a fish tank. Again.

Sub-diversion: guess Li'l Pajiba's name.

Sid Vicious Rowles
Kenny G Rowles
Meatloaf Aday Rowles
Vance Halenthal Rowles
Bono Edge Rowles
Tone Loc Rowles
Esteban Yanni Rowles

And, of course: Axl Rowles.

Alright, I'm done. For now.

(Teasing, of course, Dustin.)

Holy Shit, the bees knees! That used to be my handle, along with That Bees Chick! My name is a guy's name while I'm a gal! My ex husband is Polish! Scaaaary!

I took my handle from a commenter's retort to some celebutart trying to quote Ginsburg. If I had my way, I'd name a daughter Madeleine, but Pilar comes in a close second.
Boy? Sebastian.

my son's name is Jadon. he's 12 so the name was kind of unique back when we named him--it was just about the only thing his father and i ever agreed on. i wanted to name my daughter Willow, but Will frakking Smith ruined that. if hell froze over and i had another child i would name her Jadzia.

my parents wanted to name me Kenya Patrice--they were revolutionaries--but instead they gave me the blandest name i can imagine.

My best friend always wanted to have four boys and name them after the Beatles. I told him if he did that then I would have four boys also but I would name them after the Replacements.

For a girl I always figured I'd name her Vada after the character in My Girl and Grace after my Nanny. I never wanted her to have a cutesy cheerleader name like me.

For a boy I like Tyler and Jeremy and the various Tylers and Jeremys on this site haven't ruined the names for me yet, but Jeremy Piven's giving it his best shot.

Oh, yes. One more embarrassing nickname: my mother called my sister Catherine Q. Walla Walla Marginella Bellybutton. I really don't know where that came from.

There's not really a whole lot you can do with Anne, so until recently I avoided any bad nicknames. Not to worry though, my friends have recently arrived, through a series of very contrived additions and alterations to my one syllable, on "vagina". They's some lovely people, my friends. At least it eliminates the problem of my name sounding like 'and'...

Gumble is from a very weird Australian childrens book called "Bottersnikes and Gumbles". Gumbles where the meek, doughy little creatures that were picked on by the big, ugly Bottersnikes. I think they had some kind of fascination with discarded bean tins, but it's been a while... It's just such a nice word to say!

coming out to of the shadows cause I love this thread :)

ok... kids names (when I have them)
Girls: Maxine (my maternal grandmother) Rose (family name), Annabelle (paternal grandmother) Marie (family name)
for a boy: Nicolas (just like the name) James (husband's father), Jackson (love this name) Alexander (family name)

I was named after that old Debbie Reynold's movie "Tammy and the Bachelor" only my mom spelled it Tamie... so my nicknames have been TamTam... Tammers... TamDawg...

My dad used to call my his little smart astronaut growing up... cause of my mouth :P
he also called me Nanook of the North (which means polar bear in Inuit... cause I used to walk around with no shoes on all the time in the middle of the winter...

I went to a really nerdy science camp and they called me Beckster Stalkman after the mad scientist guy from Ninja Turtles. I always liked that one.

And maybe Ranylt could enlighten us, as well.

One word: Wales.

Kolby, congrats. I can't wait to hear your details.

Boy: Harrison. Manliest Goddamn name there is. If anyone tries to abbreviate it to Harry I swear I will choke a bitch. Harrison. Three syllables.

OK, so maybe I'm just doing it because you can't really call a child 'Han', but screw you.

Only if you think it's Jelly Roll Rowles, Che and you do and I love you for it. But then again, I started drinking at 4ish.
Fuck Fuck Fuck
Motha Motha Fuck
Motha Motha Fuck Fuck
Motha Fuck Motha Fuck Noice Noice Noice

So if you spent any time on the untitled Obama thread you know that I've managed to mostly piss this day away, so let's just tie it off and start fresh tomorrow.

I've had two daughters with each of two wives. Each of us picked a name. My kids are Marisa (only one "s", dammit, and pronounced the way the Spanish intended it to be pronounced -- but mostly dumbass Americans call her "Marissa") and Meredith, their kids are Karin and Andrea. I'm not married to either one of them anymore.

Andrea looked like Mr. Peanut when she was born -- all torso and spindly little arms and legs but no top hat or monocle -- and she still goes by Peanut to this day, 14 years later. Oh, and Marisa is now 24 and named her daughter Gabrielle, which made me happy.

Here's a peeve I haven't heard yet. I'm a "junior", so I was called by my middle name to distinguish me from my dad until I revolted in junior high and took my first name back. Confused the hell out of my mother for years after that, but it was worth it. Plus, I have some relatives whom I haven't seen since I was a wee lad and I'll still get cards or calls addressing me by my middle name. So my plea to all of you would be to shelve the ego and forego the Junior/II/III, etc.

Finally, the name Che Grovera has a disappointingly prosaic backstory (I think). I started out as Grover, which appellation the current Mrs. G stuck on me because my middle-aged paunch reminds her of the Sesame Street character (she calls it a "grover belly", and follows it with a mildly annoying pat of the tummy). I soon ran into another Grover on this site, and bedlam ensued. When I asked where I could find the PNB (Pajiba Naming Bureau) I wound up being accused by some McCarthyite of behaving like a commie...like Che Guevara. "I'm no commie", says I, "but I would gladly take the name Che Grovera." True story.

So is Dustin's kid's name Johnny or what?

No becks, I'm pretty sure the full name is Peter John Mayer Wentz Rowles.

Cause thats how he rolls.

My parents named me after Hawthorne, whose short stories they enjoyed. My brother is named after Ethan Frome. Various diminutives: Nato, Nabob (my middle name is Robert), Nate the Great. Never Nathan, though.

In high school, I became Nasty Nate, in reference to "Half Baked".

Freshman year of college, I was known as Poon, in reference to my facebook picture, which was of me standing in front of Poon's Chinese Restaurant near the hotel I stayed at in London.

I always joke that I will name my first son Paul Adrian Maurice after P.A.M. Dirac, physicist and badass. A girl would be Lise after one of my heroes, Lise Meitner.

RE: Snath^^
I just got done reading a P.D. James novel in which the murder victim was named Nathan Oliver.

My father wanted to name me Frances, after his mom, but my mom vetoed that one. I'm not sure where they got Elizabeth from, but I'm thankful, because I'm definitely not a Fran at all and I love my name, even if I did want to be called Jessica or Jamie as a kid, just like every other girl born in the 80s.

My dad's middle name was Amandus (the male form of Amanda, yes. Nickname Amos. It's Latin. It means "he who must be loved." The must is important.), so my brother should've been Amandus Joseph (they switch names instead of doing the Jr, III thing). My mom put her foot down on that one, too. I might try to bestow it upon a boy-child just out of sheer contrariness. I had to deal with plenty of taunting from Liz, so why shouldn't my kids have to put up with that too; give 'em character.

My middle name is Grace, and that comes from my mom and grandmom, who are both Mary Grace. My first daughter will have it for her middle name as well. I'd love for her to be Molly Elizabeth Grace, because I think it flows quite nicely, and because Molly is my favorite name.

I also love Lenore (and Eleanor, too, libraryliz!) as well for a girl, and I've always liked Jonathon and Elijah for boys. Oh, and I think Ever and True are good girls names, too, though a bit odd. Other than that, I tend to like very traditional and Biblical names.

As for my handle, I've been Liz since that one tragic year that I tried to go by Beth. (Please, whatever you do, do not call me Beth.) And I'm morbid. Hence, lizzieborden. She was acquitted, you know.

You know, if Kolby REALLY loved us she'd name the baby Pajiba.

Even as a middle name!

My responsible parents let my (at the time) 5 year old sister name me when I was born so she named me after her best friend 'Sarah'.
My handle is a varience on the spelling and my last name starts with an F. So Seraf is made.
Future kid's names - Zelda (my fave game) and Emmett (also ruined by terrible book series).
My cats names - Willow (Buffy) and Pokey (Gumby)
Fish - Archimedes and Pumpernikel.

Girls are easy. I only intend on having one, and her name will either be Niobe or Eirenne. Yes, absolutely after the ladies in "Rome". Although perhaps the karma attached to the names is less than ideal as both poor souls met with gruesome deaths. Perhaps I'll be able to sneak "Hero" in there as a middle name. If my husband's not sold on those I'll offer "Selene" as a back-up.

Boys: Something Croatian, definitely. Nikola, Niko for short, is the current front-runner. Much as I would like to name my child Vladimir.

I'll have to confer with the siblings, but my kids will probably have grandparent's names as middle names. I'm traditional like that. My youngest brother got stuck with both grandfather's names so his middle name is "Pasquale Boris". How funny is that?

"Ling" comes from the last half of my first name. I was named after a small resort town in the Muskoka Lake district in Ontario.

My mom wanted to name me Bernadette or Bridget, (which both, when I was younger, sounded horrendous), and so I was happy that she named me Brandi at the last minute. But now that I'm older I think "Brandi" sounds like some fat, chain-smoking, stripper, and I'd much prefer one of the other, more interesting, names.

BizzyBees stems from me and my significant other both having names that start with "B" (hence Bees, plural) and Bizzy because we cohabitate yet manage to spend only about 3 hours per week together. It's my kind of relationship, really.

Names of potential offspring are top secret, yo.

Well, we've got two kids, Rowan Henry and Sabine Frances. As I tell everyone, when your last name is Smith, John and Mary don't really work, so we thought long and hard to find real names that reflected our ethnic heritage (Scots/Irish/English and German) and used family names for middle names. Real names, not too common (though Rowan/Roan is getting more play than I'd like these days... thanks Brooke and Sharon!).

When I was pregnant, we had nicknames for the kids--Buster and Trixie since we didn't want to give up the real choices. They still get called that occasionally.

The only nickname I ever had was Boo, from my Dad, and he still calls me that even though I'm well into my 40s.

My commenter name is what my mother repeatedly told me was my "legal" name after Mr Smith and I married, though I am actually a hypenate. It's nice because it's anonymous, but truthful.

I have a friend who has always loved the name Absinthe for a girl...
For me, I like old fashioned, sturdy, "can't-mock-me-for-having-that-name" names. My first boy will be Jack or Sam.
Although, I do like the name Imogen ... but mostly because her nickname would be Imo .. pronounced Emo.
As for nicknames ... Well, my favourite comes from my friend Dave ... it's always been the bane of my life that my last name is Bureau. It's French for office or desk or chest of drawers ... and whenever I say my surname to someone, they ask me to spell it ... and invariably they make a mistake writing it out ... all those vowels at once, I guess ... anyways, once they've written it down, they say "oh, like a desk!" or "oh, it's french!" or (my favourite) "oh! like the FBI!"

Dave's nickname for me was N-Desk. I loved it.

When Mr. TO and I found out we were expecting we decided on:

Reese Catherine for a girl (Reese is from out in left field, but our mothers' are both Catherines

Myers for a boy, which is Mr. TO's middle name and I absolutely love.

We're having a girl , so Reese Catherine it is. However, I've fallen in love with the name Ireland - though I've been told when paired up with our last name it's a little to Irish.

Real name is Amber. My mom had a patient whose daughter was named Amber, and she thought she was being fairly original since that's the only time she'd heard the name. There were three Ambers in my class alone; two of them even had the same middle name I do.

When I was a kid, my dad called me "sissy britches." Actually, he still says it sometimes. I never could figure out why he called me that, and even he didn't know where it came from. When I was in college, I heard a woman call her granddaugther "sassy britches." I looked it up, and this is pretty common here in the nether regions of the country. Dad must have misheard it at some point. Anywho, I still remember being in 6th grade and stepping up to bat at a softball game. From behind me in the stands, my dad yelled, "Go, Sissy Britches!" My whole team started chanting it. I wanted to club myself with a bat.

In high school, I was "Jewels" (shortened version of my maiden name) and "Eva Lee." The second name is a feminine bastardization of "Evil E," a local nickname for Evan Williams whiskey. I earned that one after finishing off a bottle of that shit one night. I think it was actually the last time I drank it. I threw up my asshole that night.

Actually made it through college with no names.

When I got married, I ended up with "Bob." There's no story. My husband just started it and it stuck. He also calls me "Stinky Pete." My students in my first school called me "Mama G."

Real name is Amber. My mom had a patient whose daughter was named Amber, and she thought she was being fairly original since that's the only time she'd heard the name. There were three Ambers in my class alone; two of them even had the same middle name I do.

My husband and best friend call me "Ambi." They allow no one else to call me that. It's sweet how possessive they are.

When I was a kid, my dad called me "sissy britches." Actually, he still says it sometimes. I never could figure out why he called me that, and even he didn't know where it came from. When I was in college, I heard a woman call her granddaugther "sassy britches." I looked it up, and this is pretty common here in the nether regions of the country. Dad must have misheard it at some point. Anywho, I still remember being in 6th grade and stepping up to bat at a softball game. From behind me in the stands, my dad yelled, "Go, Sissy Britches!" My whole team started chanting it. I wanted to club myself with a bat.

In high school, I was "Jewels" (shortened version of my maiden name) and "Eva Lee." The second name is a feminine bastardization of "Evil E," a local nickname for Evan Williams whiskey. I earned that one after finishing off a bottle of that shit one night. I think it was actually the last time I drank it. I threw up my asshole that night.

Actually made it through college with no names.

When I got married, I ended up with "Bob." There's no story. My husband just started it and it stuck. He also calls me "Stinky Pete." My students in my first school called me "Mama G." I miss them.

Shit this is getting long. Please don't start the music.

No kids, but two dogs I didn't get to name. They were foster dogs who had been given names. When we got them, they responded to the names so we left them though they're terribly unoriginal (Lady and Abbie).

Mr. Edna and I can't agree on kids names. We want to use William because it's a family name, but don't like Will or Bill. Liam is nice, but folks around here would pronounch it "Leee-umm." As for girls, we're stuck. I like old names, but my friends have used them all.

I've been using the same handle since 1996 when I read Chopin's The Awakening. Edna Pontellier was SUPER to me as a high school junior. People see it and miss the "E" in Edna and think it says "superDNA." I'm not THAT arrogant. Jeez.

I started using whatBENwatches after there was another Ben 'round these parts and people chastised me for something he said. It comes from my neglected website.

As someone named Ben who is gay, I've been called Ben Gay. Then there's Lesbiben, Estroben, Bengina (rhymes with what you think it does), and Ben Dover. I've also seen Waldork, a variation on my last name Waldorf.

::sigh:: I don't have kids' names I want besides Isobel, but that doesn't go well with my last name, so we'll see. I do quite enjoy naming characters whenever I write, so I'm sure it'll all come naturally. I quite like the name Melora, just 'cause.

Ok, I know I'm totally late to the game on this, but put me in coach... or something.

My handle, Kayanne, came from a couple different places. First and foremost, it's the smooshing together of my first and middle name. Although my first name is not Kay (it's a name starting with a Kay sound) and no one calls me that, but oh well. I liked it initially because I have a secret love for double first names that flow so I was pronouncing it "Kay Anne," but I used it for an online handle in a group project and someone pronounced it "Cayenne" like the pepper and the car so both totally work for me.

I've had a few nicknames in the past, but most come from my last name. My first name was very rare throughout elementary school then more and more girls started showing up with the same name or names that sounded like it, so I started going by my last name, which is awesomely Italian. And of course it's kind of long so shortened versions of it get shouted out and I'll respond to most.

Other nicknames: Google and The Internet and Kat (my friend and I from elementary school were obsessed with cats and gave each other feline nicknames... we were dorks).

I have a yellow lab named Haley, who is a boy. People constantly fuss with my family over naming our male dog a (typically) female name, even though Haley is gender neutral. Get over it folks, he's a dog. Also, at the time we got Haley we had another dog named Comet.

I love tossing around names and always thought Caden Jace would be a cool name for a boy, but then about four years ago everyone started naming their kids Caden, Aiden, or Jaden so I figured not. My great g-ma's name is Lelia and I like that name. But otherwise I feel like it's not totally up to me to decide so I haven't gotten anything specific I have to have.

But future dog/pet names I WILL have:
Zucchiro, (Zucchi for short) it's Italian for sugar.
Miel or Mielo, Miel is French for honey.

My user name is so boring. It's my initials and my birth month and year. My first name is Rachel, and when I first started commenting online, I had it as a user name. But I discovered there were other Rachels and Rachaels out there, so I decided initials and dates would be more specific to me.

I never had many nicknames. My Dad called me Fluffy when I was little because I had baby-fine hair, and it fluffed up. He still calls me that sometimes. Only nickname in school was when this boy in high school started calling me Rach, and holding the "ch" out. He'd say "Hiya Ray...ch" (Sorry, that's the only wat I could think of the spell it phonetically.) Anyway, I would cringe until the final "ch" came out. I have never liked Rach since, and will correct people who call me that. A co-worker once said if she couldn't call me Rach, then she would call me asshole. I said fine, I would rather be asshole. Thankfully, it never caught on.

I love Shaganappi as name! It reminds me of those native kids always had the best (or worst) last names in school- Frying Pan and Standing-on-the-Road come to mind.
Rahel is the daughter-twin in The God of Small Things.
I love the name Aviva for a girl.

Oh, sorry, forgot: Daughter's name is Nicole Marie Jenae (last name).

My handle is just my alma mater and my middle name pushed together. Nothing exciting there...
The most common nickname among people who know me is Doobie. My brother was a huge pothead and thought it was hilarious to call me that, so since I was about 11 that's what I've been called. Recently I was at one of our small town festivals which are focused on a family atmosphere and community gathering when I heard someone screaming DOOBIE across the street. I get many weird looks for this one...thanks big brother.
My roommate is a school teacher and she gets some great names in her class. My favorite has to be--
FIRST NAME: Diamond MIDDLE NAME: Shesapearl
yes that is right and you say it Diamond She's A Pearl

"Also, possibly the best name I've ever seen on a real person was Shere-Khan Smoot."

I would have sex with someone named Shere Khan. Probably within ten minutes of meeting them, and possibly in public.

Well... maybe not in public. I'd try very hard to control myself until we were behind closed doors, because otherwise my friends might find out about it and just call me Tiger Fucker until the end of my days.

My names Nieve its irish it means brilliance and brightness and means snow in spanish, my mum changed the spelling because she thought people wouldnt be able to pronounce it the irish way and she was right: I went through a phase of spelling it the proper which is Niamh, and the amount of mangled pronunciations Iv had over the years is unreal.
My mum originally wanted to call me Domonique or Mykala both names that I hated long before I knew I was nearly called them I also had a long running feud with a Dominique at school, she was a bitch. My four other siblings names are a mixture or irish and french and one strong british name, thats the one I want for one of my future sons.
My childhood nickname is BOP for reasons I will never, under pain of death tell, my dad still calls me it today when he wants a knee to the groin and my big brother called me gualoo madoo I have no idea where he got it from I just hated it.
I nicknamed my sister noodlepie when we were very young and to this day still call her Noo.
My confirmation name is demented I was drunk before going to church and had to pick a name I was watching the rugrats and was studying Romeo and Juliet at school (what? I was 14!) So in my hammered state I decided on Angelica-Juliet my reasoning being Angelica was 'spanish' for angel and juliet died for what she believed in......like Jesus. The priest was laughing to hard to stop me.
My mum hated it but my Grandma loved it so I kept it my biggest fear is having the priest read it out at my wedding and my future husband going 'What with the who now?' and leaving me at the alter deciding that if I cant even name myself what hope would my kids have?
My dads family had a wierd way of naming their kid the plan was to have four boy and give them four names each for example my dad would have been Tom Harry Bill Nigel (not his real name of course) then the second kid would have been
Harry Bill Nigel Tom and so on until all four had each others names in different order but after the unholy fuck up that was my uncle my grandparents decided to call it quits with just two.

Finally my kids names: I love Scarlet Rose, Ella Rae, Scout, Madeline, Mae, Olivia, Betty, Pepper really girly slightly off names I have tonnes more but I want to see what the future kid will look like before I decide on a name except my other son he will be Jack my favourite boys name.

wow what a ridiculous long comment, sorry guys got carried away.

My sisters started calling me Adère some ten years ago, which I found so cool I forced everyone to address me by that name, except for my mom, of course.
My siblings nicknames: Gza or Gizz, Mart & Fif.
Kids names: Margot or Esmé for a girl, Johannes for a boy, of which I still need to convince my girlfriend (No, baby, I don't want it shortened!!)
But you people have some great ideas as well, better hurry up, or I'm going to rip them.

Suggestion: Border Kolby?

My oldest is Corinne, who has always hated her name because morons, even her teachers, couldn't manage to pronounce it. It is not Cor-een (like Noreen) and it is spelled with one r and two n's, idiot.

Posted by: slower lower at November 5, 2008 8:23 PM

About fell out of my chair when I saw this. Muuuuch farther up this thread I posted about my daughters' names, one of whom is Karin. It was my ex-wife's turn to pick a name, but she really liked the girl name that I proposed: Corinne. She thought the spelling should match the pronunciation, though (she's from Southern Oregon which might as well be Southern Kentucky), so she came up with K-a-r-i-n. Poor kid was called "Karen" everywhere she went until she started using her home nickname of "Rinnie", which everyone calls her to this day.

The handle is an anagram of my name. As are "Neon Girl" and "Linger On," both of which I've used as email addresses before.

My first and middle names are Erin Elizabeth, and when I was a kid my mom's nickname for me was Airhead Lizardbreath.

If I ever have a daughter, I'm totally sold on the name "Katharine Sherlock." Sorry, future daughter. At least you and your brother Dashiell can commiserate with each other.

*takes foot out of mouth*

Sorry, jamiepants! i wasn't trying to be insulting or anything, i just knew a whole bunch of Jamies and Jessicas growing up. and Jennifers, for that matter.

Point: jM. Damn, girl.

Posted by: Sean at November 6, 2008 8:26 AM

Yay, jM is back -- however briefly. Been missing her snark. How many more hours of toil do you have to endure, girl?

My ex wanted a daughter and he wanted to name her Page (after Jimmy Page). I'm so glad that didn't work out...especially since I don't want children.

I'll apply this to my kids (read: cats), Mondavi (as in Robert Mondavi) and Leap (as in Stags' Leap). Hurrah for booze!

Yay, jM is back -- however briefly. Been missing her snark. How many more hours of toil do you have to endure, girl?

Posted by: Che Grovera

Thanks, Che. I'm surviving, for now. I'm almost done with this semester and then there's only one more to go. After that, I figure that I'll sell all of my earthly possessions and become a boxcar hobo. I'd look good in flannel and my own urine, right? It's better than paying back student loans.

meaux, I knew the risks going in.

My sisters lovingly refer to me as 'The Abomination' or 'The Bene Gesserit Abomination' because I am named after a character out of Dune.

I hated my name all through school because no one ever pronounced it correctly. There was always this god-awful pause when teachers were reading through the attendance list at the start of class. After about four seconds, the rest of the class would sort of call out my name for the teacher while I wanted to crawl into a heating duct and die.

Killa is a part of the anagram of my whole name.

What, is your full name actually St. Alia of the Knife?

No, it's got the K but only one L. Damn.

the rest of the class would sort of call out my name for the teacher

Yeah, they were doing that for me by high school. I automatically corrected my 10th grade biology teacher and then realized he'd said it right. He'd had my sister the year before (her last name's All-American now and people still make her spell it out).

The GOO!! So disappointed with the actual subject matter.

Hey Che, our daughters need to develop a rif like Kari in The Incredibles (Jack Jack Attack, actually),

"It's just like Carrie except a K instead of a C, an ah instead of an a, only one r, and an i instead of an ie."

...and I totally would have mispronounced your daughter's name like Karen. (hangs head in shame)

The biggest problem is, meaux, when I scream, "slower! lower!" in bed, the mister thinks I'm talking about my pajiba..........

Bwah-ha-ha! Funny gal.

If the wife and I had wanted kids, I'd have followed the Fambly tradition and given the first-born male child my middle name as his first name, so he would have been William Alexander. A female child would probably have been named Margaret Alise.

When I was in the Navy, my wife would adopt a stray cat every time I went underway. Our cats were (in order of adoption): Mischief, Random, Mayhem, Chaos, Entropy, Phobos, Deimos, Enterprise (her kittens were named after the various Star Trek shuttlecraft), Bambi Eyes, Muttonhead, Sasha, Vecchio, CC, Pyewacket, Bianco, Ragamuffin, and Puddin (the discerning among you may sense a pattern). Mayhem, Puddin, and Ragamuffin are still with us.

My forum handle comes from a long-running online writing project called Tales of the Evil Overlord, where my character was the Evil Overlord's military thug and general assassin.

And my last name is Anderson, so that makes for a BOOORING name. "Kristin Marie Anderson" - - I think there are like 20,000 other Kristin Marie Andersons in the world. Ah well. At least my parents didn't name me Velveeta (yes, I grew up with a Velveeta).

Skittimus Maximus, whom I've had a cyber crush on since I found this blog, his real name is WENDELL?!

I feel as dejected as if I'd discovered he had a small ween :-(

No, scorzi. Wendell is the real name of Minimus, his turkey-clawed halfling conjoined twin. I know Skitz's actual real name, but I will never tell unless someone gives me an island. A large island. And it had better goddamn be tropical, and not off the coast of fucking Antarctica or something. Also, it had better legally qualify as a sovereign nation, and there had better be a palace. A fancy-ass palace, with a throne room 'n shit.

"Skitimus Minimus basically wrote itself. Real name's Wendel."

Sorry for any confusion, scorzi - "Wendel" is Minimus' real name. He's my parasitic twin (also known as an asymmetrical twin).

Y'see, parasitic twins occur when a twin embryo begins developing in utero, but the pair does not fully separate, and one embryo maintains dominant development (i.e. me) at the expense of the other (i.e. Wendel). The undeveloped twin is defined as parasitic, rather than conjoined, because it is incompletely formed or wholly dependent on the body functions of the complete fetus. Where Wendel is the parasitic twin, I, the independent twin, am referred to as the autosite.

Now, you may be asking yourself "Why not have him removed?". Believe me, I considered it when I was younger, but as I blossomed into adulthood, I realized he was just a big a part of me as I am to him. He steers me home when I'm drunk, we're a shoo-in for Costume Competitions, and we haven't met a karaoke bar where we haven't received a standing O. Quite simply, he's the peas to my carrots, and I wouldn't have it any other way...

Aww, Skitz, you are just the sweetest thing! That's such a nice story.

I'm named after my mom's favorite cousin. After she was kicked out of her house for getting knocked up with me, she never really saw or spoke to her cousin again though so I doubt the woman even knows the of the "honor". My middle name is a true ode to white-trashedness and a cautionary tale as to why teens shouldn't have babies--it's Harleigh. I like it well enough, but it was almost my first name.

I'm due to have a little boy in a little less than 6 weeks. We're naming him Tommy--nothing fancy but it's in honor of my dad. My dogs get the pretty names like Frankie (Franchesca) and Josey (Josephina). The name we picked out for a girl was lovely and I'm hoping that maybe we'll be able to use in the future if I'm ever willing to go through labor again.

DON'T DO IT SARINA! HE'S A NO GOOD SNAKE IN THE GRASS!

Ah, lordhelmet - how the mighty have fallen. You think betraying Salazar and Rodriguez in Rwanda would buy you more time, but you never counted on me having an alternate escape route, did you? Never trust a conjoiner - that's something your precious Pentagon never taught you, my friend. I knew Minimus was playing with fire when he contacted you regarding the drop-off, but I had no idea what lengths you'd go to to get your hands on the package. Don't get me wrong, even I have thought about the raw, global power a Weather Machine would have, but don't think for one second I'd compromise my values or the people who pay me to keep people like you from acquiring plans like these. We're in the big leagues, now helmet. And it's going to take more than empty promises of wealth to innocents like Sarina to get your twisted hands on my classified data.

I imagine I'll be seeing you in Brazil. I'd suggest bringing more than six operatives this time...

Nay, Skitz, you'll not be seeing me in Brazil. I shall be gone before you realise I was ever there, and you'll never see, let alone hold, the package again. And you'd better keep an extra close eye on Minimus - he's been longing for freedom and I'm amassing an expert surgical team to give him his own body!

Sarina, tell me the identity or whereabouts of code name "Skitz," and all this shall be yours! Not the curtains, all that you can see! So what if it's a castle in a swamp?

Also - Kolby and all Pajibans...

REMEMBER - the best way to figure out if you like a name is to stand at your front door and yell into the street as loudly as you can:

"[name],...[name]...[NAME]!!! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"

If you're cool screaming it out right now, you'll be cool with it for life. I firmly believe in this approach, having previously liked those last-name types...like Harrison and such.

Spending a two hour ferry ride in a playcentre with a dull-eyed, snotty nosed kid whose parents sounded like they were on atavan constantly repeating 'Harrison...Harrison stop eating the carpet...Harrison...' literally killed it for me. It was like listening to a Ben Stein/Ferris Bueller loop. Gad.

I mean, sure you have high hopes for your kid, but I'm REALLY glad I didn't go for D'Kembe like I so desperately wanted to. My short, slight, sensitive pale child will thank me, I'm certain of it. Just like I'm grateful about my mom passing on 'Morningstar' at the last minute.

You drive a hard bargain, Sarina. I'll give you Australia AND all of Oceania (even the Kiwis, but I'm not sure they'll go quietly under your regime) AND I'll even give you your very own castle, in a location of your choosing, or of a design of your choosing. Might I recommend a 20' wide moat with landmine-laden sides? BUT, and I want this absolutely clear, you get your castle AFTER I get the name. Oz now, castle later. And you supply your own damn defensive system, but I will build to spec. You'll get your koalas, but they come with kangaroos, dingos, and all manner of poisonous snakes and spiders. Be careful what you wish for. Now. Give me the name!

(cough)... you play a good game, helmet - I'll give you that. I don't know where...(cough)... you found the resources to acquire Oceania, but I guess now that you've put a bullet in Punjabi's skull... (cough)... Doesn't matter anyway. Yeah, that was a stroke of ingenuity what you did with my parachute, but looks like I'm still typing huh? There's only...(cough)... there's only two people who know the real, full name...(cough)...but guess what? Both are me. I mean, one's me and the other's attached to me, so... Not sure if you read the part about Wendel being an asymmetrical twin or not, but...(cough)... well, let's just say I've got one bullet left in the clip... and if I go...(cough)... Wendel won't be around more than twenty minutes... aha...aHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (cough) HA!

Skittles, are you drunk? I know your full name, remember? Well, not your middle name, but that's okay because I just arbitrarily decided on one for you. You're welcome!

Aaanyway... what kind of fool do you think I am, lordhelmet? I'm not giving up any valuable secrets for one lousy continent and the promise of a castle. Nobody keeps their promises! If I don't get my goddamn castle, then you don't get your name! And as punishment for wasting my precious time, the price has just gone up. I want Asia, too. And if you dick around with me any further, you won't get squat without handing over the entire Eastern Hemisphere.

Oh, and Seraf, I am fully aware of how jackassy koalas are. Why do you think I want Australia? To build a deceptively adorable army of destruction, of course!

Hmph. All I ask for is a large percentage of the planet with sovereign independence, a lavish palace and a koala bear army, and you make it sound like I'm demanding!

I have always been a crazy name dork, so when I found out that [first name] meant "virgin", [middle name] meant "warrior", and [last name] might mean "queen", I realized immediately that I was the eight-year-old reincarnation of Elizabeth I. Or Boudicca. Or both!

I had always had a soft spot for traditional, simple girls names like Emma, but now my daughter would be about a decade behind the curve if I went with my original plan and would grow up bitter, like girls who were named Tiffany and Michelle throughout the late nineties. Now I'll probably have to go with something mythological and fierce like Athena or Persephone.

True story: Having a meteorological surname as we do, my brother plans on naming his kids Acid and Purple. For serious, y'all.

Other true story: My mom claims my first name is an homage to her Welsh heritage. My dad claims my first name is an homage to this wicked-hot redhead he had some classes with in college. (To clarify: My mother is, and always has been, a brunette. She also has a great sense of humor. Mostly. I'll get back to you on that when she has grandchildren named Tyr and Purple.)

I just wanted to piss patchfire off so he wouldn't be the last commenter.

I can't stand my name it is completely Irish and god damn too common, every bogan child now has the same name as me.

I was always annoyed that my sister got a better name then me, her name is Kirby Siobhan, so much better than Caitlin.

If I ever do plan to pro-create I have discussed with close friends after a-many nights on the piss names that will get the offspring laughed at at school and through the rest of their lives. My favourite is Agamemnon Ling-Ling or Blanket Spatula.

appreciation you for sponsoring the materials, a lot of engrossing news. fitting-bye.