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We're Only Human After All

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Comment Diversions | Comments (72)

blackheart.jpg

The other night I was sitting at the computer, television on in the background, thinking and picking at my cuticles — a terrible, nervous habit. My world is on the verge of shaking up quite a bit and so, being the anal, control freak that I am, I get nervous. So I sat there a moment, thinking about my bad habits and character traits and bingo! A comment diversion is born. Control freak? Yes. Nervous? Sometimes. Are those my worst? Probably not.

Our bad characteristics or traits are part of what makes us the fallible and lovable humans that we are. By visiting Pajiba, we have admitted we are scathing and bitchy, have we not? What other secrets lie within or behind our black hearts? Are you a grinch? Do you snap like a twig at the slightest provocation? Take delight in breaking hearts? It’s confession time. I can’t give you absolution but, as they say, it’s good for the soul (if you have one).

I’ll start. It’s my mouth. My quick, thoughtless, regretful mouth. It likes to spit out words before my brain has thoroughly processed information, often to my chagrin. And you would think I have learned over the years to keep it closed; well yes, to some extent, but still my dear mouth still sometimes escapes me and I am left either being admonished by someone else or doing it myself. Many people might share this bad trait, but it is usually reserved for sharing with those who are closest to them (friends or loved ones). Not me! My mouth runneth over everywhere. I’ve been terribly lucky in that most of the time the result is just embarrassment. Two of my exceptionally bad moments were while in the military. One happened when I decided that receiving a medal for just doing my job was excessive, so I got pissy, mouthed off within earshot of my squad leader and walked around the corner to throw my medal in the garbage can. Ooh lordy, did I get dressed down in front of everyone. I think I can still feel my hot, red face. Another time, I was discussing with my Sergeant Major a possible move to another unit and I told him I didn’t want to go to one of the “stupid” companies. As soon as the word “stupid” left my mouth, I knew I was in trouble. This time, it was the Sergeant Major’s face that was red; I’ll just leave it at that. But while I have gotten better and I literally try to think about keeping my lips tightly shut when I know I’m in a dangerous situation, my freewheeling mouth still gets me in trouble at times and I think it’s my worst trait. Now, spill it. What’s yours?









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Comments

I'm cheesy.

And as Chester Cheetah can attest to, it's not the easiest of traits.

Posted by: Skitz at February 4, 2011 5:07 PM

I am a shameful flake. This is due to my constantly being a frazzled, disorganized fool. I don't make plans or promises I don't intend to not keep, it just inevitably happens.

Also, I lie about stupid things. Nothing major, nothing that jeopordizes my relationships with people. Just stupid shit - like what I had for breakfast or that my middle name is Fiona.

Posted by: Natalia at February 4, 2011 5:12 PM

Surely my worst trait has to be my laziness. I would say I was born to be some kind of trophy wife, basking in a life of leisure, but a trophy wife probably has to go to all kinds of social functions and events, and that all seems like a whole lot of work to me. It makes absolutely no sense that I chose to be a lawyer. What career has more workaholics, seriously?

Posted by: Cree83 at February 4, 2011 5:15 PM

According to a personality test I took once, I have an excessive tendency to blame myself when things go wrong. I'm not sure I believe that's true, though -- I probably just filled out the test incorrectly.

Posted by: Todd at February 4, 2011 5:16 PM

I am a procrastinator extraordinaire.

Posted by: MM at February 4, 2011 5:17 PM

I worry about EVERYTHING. Well, before the medication I did. But I still worry a lot or figure that everything bad that happens is somehow my fault.

For example, right before Christmas we received a check from the last job The Husband had that covered the short in his current paycheck. We also got some refunds for over-payment at the hospital. I was excited about this. The next day our flat screen television died. I figured it was my fault because I had been excited about good things happening to us and karma had to punch me in the taint. Then I worried about buying a new television. I suck.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 4, 2011 5:30 PM

I am a slacker AND a perfectionist. I let things go to hell, I'm disorganized and I procrastinate - but when I do a job, I completely OVERdo it. As a result, I am often incredibly unhappy with myself.

Posted by: Edith at February 4, 2011 5:31 PM

I know this because people feel the need to constantly point it out to me.

I am a cynical, sarcastic person. And not in a cute Daria kind of sarcastic way, but in a "Yeaaah. Let me crush your dreams" type of thing.

I'm really trying to change but find it increasingly hard to maintain an optimistic attutde. Humand are assholes. The world sucks. Screw you, leave me alone. You go be happy somewhere without me.

Posted by: meh at February 4, 2011 5:48 PM

I'm a "worst case scenario" person.

My car is running hot? It's gonna cost $1000!
A weird letter just got here? Who's this?!
Strange person phones? Uh oh, someone stole my credit!

I work at it. But it's a pain in the ass!

Posted by: Fredo at February 4, 2011 5:51 PM

I have a truck driver mouth.
Nothing is ever good enough for me.
I am a mother but I don't believe I was cut out to be one.
I have several secrets that NOBODY knows.
I tend to analyze things to death.

So, other than that I'm good.

Posted by: Jadine at February 4, 2011 5:56 PM

Oh sonofabitch, I found myself nodding in agreement with almost all of the comments above. How do I pick just one?

Edith, your slacker/perfectionist complex sounds eerily familiar. Right now, I'm working on some pretty tight deadlines (which wouldn't have been so tight had I buckled down much sooner), and delegated some work to a colleague. When the results came back a little less than perfect, I sputtered and swore and vowed never to trust anybody else with my precious data tables. 'Course, I'm too damned passive (ooh, there's another one!) to say anything but "thanks for the help"....

Posted by: meaux at February 4, 2011 5:57 PM

I'm an asshole. Like a blatant one. It has nothing to do with wanting to upset people. I'm just compulsive about being right, and I will go to extrordinary lengths to prove how right I am. Which usually leaves me looking like a dick. Which is why I'm not posting in any sort of serious thread anymore. I'll be an ass where it doesn't matter.
Oh and I'm a self sabotager. Which is directly tied to the first flaw. I'd rather be honest than nice. Sue me.

Posted by: Blank at February 4, 2011 6:03 PM

Intense anxiety, waves of what my father calls my "dark Irish angst," and I am a huge procrastinator. Why is anyone friends with me?

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at February 4, 2011 6:03 PM

I am blunt. Very, very blunt.

Posted by: admin at February 4, 2011 6:05 PM

I am a perfectionist, and unfortunately, I hold everyone else to the same high standards. This is particularly bad at work. OCPD runs in my family, and it rears its ugly head when I freak because things aren't alphabetized properly, or people can't remember the 10,000 rules about "how things are done" that I have no problem following to the letter. My boss has told me a million times that while I'm a very valuable employee as a result of this anal-retentiveness, I'm also incredibly difficult to work with. I usually just tell him to fire my co-workers and let me do it all myself.

Posted by: badkittyuno at February 4, 2011 6:15 PM

I'm insanely anxious. About everything. And I'm a complete coward when it comes to major changes. Moving away, finding a new job...I don't take the initiative I should to better my life. Never have. It's something that I'm working on-being more proactive and less of a nerve ridden nutjob.

My boyfriend knows I'm nervous or anxious about something because I'll start wringing my hands or playing with my ring. Or, you know, the irritable bowels act up. I am sexy personified.

Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2011 6:21 PM

I moved around a lot as a child. As a result, whenever I move away from somewhere, or someone moves away from me, I am horrifically bad at keeping in touch. It's like they've fallen off the face of the earth. I suspect this is a protective function, but it's caused me a lot of regrets over the years.

I'm really bad at money management.

I cry far, far too easily.

I find it difficult to say "no" to people.

Posted by: linny at February 4, 2011 6:24 PM

Edith, I am totally there with you on the perfectionist/slacker habit. It's one extreme or another. Other faults? I am my worst critic. I procrastinate. I run late for everything, which leads to excessive frustration and panic.

Posted by: KP at February 4, 2011 6:26 PM

Where do I start?
I talk too much and curse like a sailor. I'm a wicked procrastinator. I agree to do things I know I'm never going to do and to keep in touch with people I know I never will (see previous). I'm critical, cynical, pessimistic and prone to hyperbole....and ranting. And I'm pretty sure I'm kind of just a general asshole on top of all that. Oh, and I hate people. Man do I fucking hate people, especially children.

Posted by: the bees knees at February 4, 2011 6:35 PM

Oh, Julie! You sound like me!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 4, 2011 6:45 PM

Precisely what Edith said - complete perfectionist/procrastinator.

I impatiently finish people's sentences because I know it's going to take them forever (read: 1.2 seconds) to find the right word and I already have it. Because I'm also a vocabulary geek. I'll even repeat your perfectly good sentence back to you as a better sentence. There are just a shade too many people grateful for this service and a shade too few willing to punch me in the mouth for me to be inspired to change.

I become serially obsessed by random things and spend way too much time researching them.

Posted by: Young_Grandma_Ben at February 4, 2011 6:58 PM

Oh, wow. I'm lazy, that's for damn sure, and I'm almost always 15 minutes late (sorry, apparently whatever Law & Order or Food Network rerun is on as I prepare to leave the house is more important for work/rehearsal/meeting with friends)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 4, 2011 7:02 PM

This is a timely diversion.

I worry about everything, all the time. As soon as I stop worrying about one thing, my brain finds something else to worry about. This is bad enough but also I blame myself for everything. So I spend my life in a haze of anxiety, guilt and deep, deep shame. Maybe I should look into medication (other than vodka). Now I'm sad.

Posted by: abby at February 4, 2011 7:10 PM

Like so many others on the thread, I have a mouth that could make Andrew Dice Clay blush.

I can be insanely anal and controlling in the kitchen and as such, no one and, I mean, NO ONE wants to help me cook.

I let my mouth write checks my ass can't cash. That sometimes takes the form of a viper's tongue, spewing out hurtful, sardonic barbs when they are uncalled for.

Because I am a relatively good judge of character, I usually know exactly where to verbally punch someone where it will hurt the most. I don't do it very often, but when I do...it's armageddon.

And my biggest flaw—the one I struggle with on a minute-to-minute basis: I have absolutely NO tolerance for intolerance. I deride and belittle and verbally lambast people who I think are wrong for their intolerance and subsequently, turn into someone exactly like them. It's a horrible catch-22 and I hate that I possess it.

I sound like an abomination, absolutely unredeemable. Got to work on that.

Posted by: Vonnegut Slut at February 4, 2011 7:15 PM

I moved around a lot as a child. As a result, whenever I move away from somewhere, or someone moves away from me, I am horrifically bad at keeping in touch. It's like they've fallen off the face of the earth. I suspect this is a protective function, but it's caused me a lot of regrets over the years.

I'm really bad at money management.

I cry far, far too easily.

I find it difficult to say "no" to people.

Posted by: linny at February 4, 2011 6:24 PM


Oh, Linny...

Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

I grew up in an Air Force town, but my parents were civilians. All my friends moved every two years. Other than that, that's me to a T.

Posted by: Schpida (he is our hero) at February 4, 2011 7:17 PM

I'm sorry, but I'm a very humble person who isn't comfortable talking about myself or my worst trait..

truth be told, I probably have MORE humility than any dozen other of you lame commenters here put together.

And I'm pretty goddamned proud to say that.

Posted by: February 5, 2011 at February 4, 2011 7:18 PM

I can be very anxious and down on myself one minute, impulsive the next. I'm a huge procrastinator and I'm always late. I don't tend to get motivated towards something unless I'm pushed to the end of my rope and suddenly I need to do or die.

I also have trouble getting close to people due to trust issues. I worry that one day they will get the best of me and I'll lose all my connections and just drift away.

Posted by: elgarcon at February 4, 2011 7:25 PM

It's probably a bad sign that I can see myself in way too many of the comments above.

I'm disorganized, blunt, forever running late, procrastinate to the extreme, set impossibly high standards for myself that I fail to meet on a regular basis, get overly emotional about said failures, and still manage to be a self-righteous cunt about all the things I find wrong with other people.

Charming, I am.

Posted by: nosio at February 4, 2011 7:28 PM

I am so many of the things already listed
cursing
no patience
hard on myself and others
no trust
I worry a ridiculous amount
and sometimes say things I probably shouldn't
which is why sometimes I appear shy, I'm really just worrying that I'll say something mean or stupid
but I'm a lot of awesome too
so I think I can live with it.

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 4, 2011 7:41 PM

I am an interrupter. I come from a family of loud, pushy interrupters. The only way to get heard was to interrupt someone else. I hate that I interrupt people, hurt their feelings, and send the message that I don't care. I make a conscious effort to amend my wicked ways, but I often fail.

Posted by: androstarr at February 4, 2011 7:42 PM

Oh, so many of the things listed above are me as well, especially the perfectionist, 'oh you'll just do it wrong, lemme do it myself' attitude and the inturrupting thing. I have severe word-vomit to the point where people regularaly just walk away whilst I am still talking cause I. don't know. when. to shut up.

But let's go with something more original....

Oh, here's a different one - I can't take a compliment. At all. I mumble 'thanks' or self-deprecate my way around it. Or just ignore it altogether. What a weird, douchebaggy habit to have. I can't figure out if that makes me super humble or just an asshole.

Posted by: hersheygirl at February 4, 2011 8:15 PM

I hold in all aggression towards a person until I snap in spectacular fashion. This could be over a serious offense--making a crack about my appearance again, throwing away my work materials, undermining my authority at work--or something innocuous--taking my pen, moving my water bottle, not opening the door for me. Let's just say I get so worked up I don't even remember what was said. I've wound up covered in bruises and blood from a retaliation attack, or uncontrollably sobbing, or covered in strange warm liquid, but I never know what happened to cause these events. I'm a black out rageaholic and it scares me.

Posted by: Robert at February 4, 2011 8:16 PM

I think that if I had to quantify the flaw that gets me into trouble most often, I would have to say that it's my tendency towards contrariness. The minute someone tries to tell me I'm going to do or be this or that, I think, "The fuck I am!!"

Harmeless enough if someone's being overbearing or obnoxious, but kind of a problem when people are trying to be nice. Case in point: last week I was talking to my brother about how I needed to pick up some spray sunscreen (I live in the tropics), as I was almost out. He then offered me what he had left, since he was going to be travelling back to the States for vacation. I instantly rejected it. The conversation went somthing like,

Nice Big Brother: Oh, I have some SPF 50 that you can have.

Asshole Little Sister: Well I like SPF 30.

NBB: ?!?

ALS: Sorry. I meant to say thank you. Sometimes I'm kind of a jerk.


It's not a huge problem, and my friends and family know not to take me seriously, as I almost always realize what I've said and quickly recant, but it's an annoyance. An annoyance both to me and the other people around me. I wish I could control it or stop it, but it appears to be intrinsic. C'est la vie, I guess.

Posted by: noodlestein at February 4, 2011 8:26 PM

I worry. A lot.

And I am super afraid of change. I have lots of good ideas and I just don't put them into action because that would bring change and change is -say it with me- scary.

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at February 4, 2011 8:57 PM

You're all idiots. I have no patience for your pain and your suffering.

You have no history and no math, and not religious background and even with my feeble education, I can out-think you.

I hate that I think like this. I am short, fat, black and I talk funny, and I have no business thinking that I'm superior to any one, but I do.

Posted by: Meander at February 4, 2011 9:32 PM

I'm reluctant to move out of my comfort zones.
I let people walk all over me, and I end up hating them for it.
I can't let things go.

Posted by: ZombieNurse at February 4, 2011 9:46 PM

I refuse to participate in this diversion as I've already got a husband to point out my shortcomings.

OK, fine. My problem is obviously listening to my husband too much.

Posted by: pickled tink at February 4, 2011 11:28 PM

I put things off. I don't think it's so much laziness as just...well, this stupid reluctance to just DO THINGS that could affect me in any significant way. I'll find any excuse to not do something painful or worrisome. Instead, I'll just let it fester in my head, making me more stressed when a simple two-line email could solve everything. I hate that I do it, but unless I get a big kick to the rear I'll put things off forever. It's terrible.

I worry too much about what people think of me. Not even friends and family so much, but just complete strangers. What the hell should I care about someone I'll never see again? But I do. I've gotten much, much better at ignoring it or getting over it (once I let myself realize that people DON'T CARE), but there's really been some crippling insecurity at certain points in my life. Thankfully, the older I get the better that gets.

Posted by: Figgy at February 4, 2011 11:31 PM

I'm anal about punctuality. I've tried really hard not to care so much, but I can't. I'm always five minutes early to whatever I'm going to, and I like to leave when on time. It's not that, I hate whatever job I had and dying to go home...it's just that...that's when it's time to go.

The round thing on the wall, with all the funny squiggles...that thing right there. You know what that is? That's a clock. And it says time to go fucking home!

I don't keep physical lists, but I do have a kind of mental itinerary. I'm not even sure that's the right word. I'm constantly thinking of how long it'll take to get somewhere. "If I leave at this time, it should take this long, and I'll get by this time."

Sometimes it's an entire day. I hate, hate, hate being late. I get sooo pissed at myself for being late, even if it's not actually my fault. I hate when other people are late. I don't care if it's five minutes late. I'm there, you should be fucking there.

If I'm meeting you somewhere and you give me a time like, "About 9:30", I'm there by 9:25. And if you are not there by 9:35, I am furious. I won't say any thing, though. Because I'm a pansy, and I know how ridiculous it is.

And I hate all this, "I'll be there soon" shit. When I say soon, I mean 10-15 minutes. Usually when you say soon, you mean an hour. I'm getting worked up thinking about it.

Posted by: Candee at February 4, 2011 11:38 PM

Oh, there is just too many to even begin to list.

Posted by: noonoo at February 4, 2011 11:39 PM

And I'm not one for self introspection. So let's just not and pretend that I did.

Posted by: noonoo at February 4, 2011 11:39 PM

Wow, everyone's of the type-A, nervous, perfectionist, over-analyzing, regret-type model.

Is no one like me? I don't really get bothered by anything. I don't get anxious or nervous. I'm relaxed all day. I don't have any big responsibilities and I'm almost always pleasantly indifferent to the world. Sure, I lack motivation, but I'm so relaxed, I'm not bothered by it. I don't have any regrets, because I don't have any plans that got ruined. I do get outraged periodically about the insane levels of injustice in the world, but it's always something I have no control over, so I let it go.

Posted by: John G. at February 4, 2011 11:40 PM

I have a horrible, terrible potty mouth. I sense people's flaws and weaknesses quickly and easily and judge them for it. I have a short temper and mean tongue and I can be a bitch to my husband when I'm really tired or cranky.

Also, and this is probably what I'm most ashamed about, I intensely dislike almost all children and have to physically stop myself from sighing and rolling my eyes when my friends start talking about their spawn. I really do feel badly for not liking children; they're innocent and sweet when they're toddlers and I can mostly tolerate them. But once they're over the age of five I have zero use for them. It makes me feel terrible.

Posted by: Kelly at February 4, 2011 11:42 PM

I have a distinct lack of ambition. I got to a certain point in my career and stopped, even though multiple opportunities have come along to go further. I'm not motivated enough by money, I'm not motivated at all by fancier titles, and I'm a smidge lazy. Shrug.

I bite my nails.

I'm a sloppy driver (but I don't tailgate--the 2 car lengths rule is something I live by!).

I'm not always the thoughtful person. I don't give little handwritten thank you notes. I don't always remember to ask about your dad, who has been sick. Sometimes I want to be that person, the one everyone always says is "so thoughtful!" but then I'm back to the lazy thing, related to the lack of ambition. I'm too lazy.

I wish I gave more to charity. I can afford it, and I really should. And I forget. I do consider that a flaw, when you can afford to do so and don't.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at February 5, 2011 12:09 AM

Candee are you my boss?

We joke that to her, early is on time, on time is late and late is UNFORGIVEABLE.

If we have to start a presentation at 8:30 am, she wants to get there at 7 to set up and go over things. SEVEN. 90 MINUTES EARLY. All it would really take is 45 minutes if we want to be sure we have enough time. Probably 30 minutes would be ok, but I'd do 45 just to make sure we have enough time if anything goes wrong.

But no, 90 minutes early. Ok, so I agree to it. Seven it is. But she'll text me AS I'M PULLING INTO THE PARKING LOT IF IT'S 6:58. Just to "see if I'm coming." It's 6:58! I'm goddamned THERE. I'm pulling into the fucking parking lot already, woman. I'm going to WALK IN THE DOORS at 7 am and guess what? I'm on time, for the time she insisted on.

But on time is late. I should have been walking in no later than 6:55 since we agreed to 7:00.

Fucking drives me up a fucking wall. Why do people stress so hard like that? Unless I'm catching a train in a country with extremely precise departure times, is it really going to make that big of a damned difference if I'm there at 3:59, 4:00 or 4:01? Really?

For a while there, I started just passive-aggressively being five minutes late to everything (which to her might as well be an hour late). She eventually wrote me up over it. Yep. Even put in black and white "often as many as five minutes late to meetings."

HER boss laughed at the wording. Wow, THAT late, huh? Five whole minutes? You know what's crazy about that? 99% of the time she and the other participants wouldn't even be ready to start until 15 minutes or more after the agreed to start time. Sheesh. My five minutes meant nothing. I would end up sitting there for ten more minutes with everyone else waiting to start.

She's at a butt-clenching level of 11.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at February 5, 2011 12:19 AM

I have a strict sense of integrity and hold others to a really high, personalized standard. In other words, I'm damn judgmental.

I offer my opinions, on everything, much too freely.

I swing between major highs and lows of "I can totally do this!" to "There's no way I'll ever be able to do this. I'm such a failure."

I'll start the morning with meditation and promise myself that I'll be cheerful, grateful for the blessings of my life, and not get sucked into the black cloud of Shit That Isn't Great...but find myself sucked in within an hour of getting to work.

But I keep trying. Because I'm stubborn, too.

Posted by: Lexie at February 5, 2011 12:21 AM

Figgy said, I put things off. I don't think it's so much laziness as just...well, this stupid reluctance to just DO THINGS that could affect me in any significant way. I'll find any excuse to not do something painful or worrisome. Instead, I'll just let it fester in my head, making me more stressed when a simple two-line email could solve everything.

YES. THIS.

It is so gratifying to read this thread and realize that so many of us have the same flaws; I find myself nodding to almost all of them. I wish more people had participated so I could see if this was a site-wide phenomenon, or just limited to those of us who procrastinate on Fridays by indulging our introspection....

At the other end of the spectrum, Candee said, I'm constantly thinking of how long it'll take to get somewhere. I have the opposite problem - I NEVER factor in more than 10 minutes drive time, in town (and it's NEVER just 10 minutes, because I live in a city of about 550,000 people that sprawls over far-too-many square miles), and I tend to grossly underestimate the time it will take to get me out the door. I usually have a decent routine that gets me to work on time, but other than that, I am CHRONICALLY late. I try, and fail, daily. You would hate me, Candee. Sorry.

Posted by: Edith at February 5, 2011 12:23 AM

I drink too much and I devour babies for sport.

Posted by: TK at February 5, 2011 12:36 AM

Sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my brain and I end up saying the DUMBEST fucking things to people. Like whatever I wanted to say gets all garbled and people end up giving me really weird looks.

On that note: I'm terribly inarticulate sometimes. Just awful. I think that's why I spend so much time typing and writing, instead of say, talking on the phone.

On THAT note: I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. Severe fucking problems with that.

Posted by: Figgy at February 5, 2011 1:05 AM

Every single one of my bad traits have pounced at me as I have scrolled down (slacker/perfectionist complex, sarcastic-cynical) and can I just add that it feels awesome.
Everyone's got issues! They're not all national rowers with ace debating skills and first classes. Hurrah!

Posted by: Gemmazemma at February 5, 2011 1:16 AM

I don't know if there's enough space on any one blog page...

Posted by: Jerry at February 5, 2011 1:22 AM

My father spent 10 years as a political prisoner in a Soviet-run prison camp; my mother spent 4 years of her adolescence as a homeless refugee fleeing across Europe at the end of WWII. I come from strong people.

But me? I am afraid to open my goddamn mail. Even now that I can actually PAY my bills, I go weeks without opening the damn mail.

Posted by: Edith at February 5, 2011 1:56 AM

I'll bend over backwards for a random stranger, while ignoring a best friend.

I am a conversational bully and/or always seem to have a story that competes with everyone else (usually followed by a psuedo-humble 'that's just my crazy life, yeesh' type of cop-out-of-what-I've-just-done when I see how people react to having their cool story one-upped.)

I can be real cold.

I can be real certain I'm right/have something pegged.

I have an easy time rationalizing things for my particular circumstances so that I remain a 'good guy'.

I am crippled sometimes with inability to move forward. The more desperate, the more stuck I get.

Yuk. Thanks LOADS Cindy! haha...

Posted by: replica at February 5, 2011 1:57 AM

Oh God, where do I start? If you talk to different people, you'll probably get different answers.

For people who don't know me that well, I'm a cold bitch. Seriously, my former teacher told me that on the first day of class, she was convinced I was going to be the bitchy wet blanket of the class. I'm not a sharer, especially not when I was in school and not now in the office or at my other jobs. I'm also not a naturally enthused person, so people take my meh-ness to be general silent, bitchy disapproval.

To my good friends, I'm probably too judgmental. Like Lexie, I have seriously high expectations for myself and my friends and whenever they do something not up-to-standard, they know I'd say something. The flip side is that I'm really hard on myself too.

To my mother, I am vindictive. I guess this could fall into the cold bitch category.

For myself, I hate that I am unmotivated and lazy. I get spurts of energy and start doing something productive, but mostly I just can't seem to get started. Starting is the hardest for me, but once I get going, I can probably do anything. I know this - I'm just fucking lazy.

I also have a quick temper, and a bad one too. People rarely see this because I hide it pretty well at work (which is usually when I get angry). I think the only person who's gotten the true extent of my anger is my mother and my best friend - ironically, the two people I love the most and they get to see the ugliest sides of me. And I get crazy angry too, like I cry and scream and want to hit walls. And my language gets really, really ugly (not curse words ugly, but find-the-thing-you-are-insecure-about ugly.)

Overall, what Jerry said is right: I don't think there's enough space on one post here, and mine's pretty long as it is.

Ok... can we do one now where we talk about the best things about ourselves?

PS. just to add to the griping over being late, Snuggiepants, I totally get what you mean about getting to work passive-aggressively 5-mins late. I have a boss who HATES it when I'm 5 - 10 mins late to work, and has to micromanage me and my co-workers entire day. This wouldn't be so bad (the lateness... not the micromanaging. I personally believe that if a manager micromanages, it is a sign of bad leadership and distrust of your employees) if it weren't for the fact that I stay 30 mins to an hour extra every day (because I basically do two people's jobs) and they don't pay me for it. They also get really weird when I request overtime pay. So when she gives me shit about being 5 minutes late, I just look at her and apologize, and then arrive 10 mins late the next day. I'm at a point where I do not care about being fired.

Posted by: denesteak at February 5, 2011 2:21 AM

I nurse a grudge like I would my child. I care, coddle, feed and nurture my grudges. I keep them close, tight and forever. Every once in a while, one of them outgrows me and just... leaves. More often than not though, they stay with me willingly.

Posted by: the other Courtney at February 5, 2011 9:58 AM

Snuggie, I am totally with you on the lack of ambition thing. I make enough to get by, and I like what I do--what the hell's the point of a title or a bigger paycheck if it just gives you more headaches?

Unfortunately, my perfectionist tendencies have resulted in the higher-ups giving me more responsibilities that I sometimes don't feel I can handle, resulting in an occasionally crippling fear that I will be exposed for the ill-qualified poser that I am.

I just try to tell myself that I'm not the only one who feels this way. But I often wish I was back in the infancy of my career, when I just did my thing and nobody had any serious expectations of me.

Posted by: meaux at February 5, 2011 10:04 AM

I'm an asshole. I genuinly care more about myself than other people, unless those people fall into one of several very specific categories: genetically related neice or nephew, friend (all positions filled), Laeticia Casta, and wife. For those few people I would give anything, do anything and sacrifice my life.

Don't get me wrong; I still care about others. Just, y'know...less than I care about me.

So yeah. I'm an asshole.

Posted by: superasente at February 5, 2011 10:13 AM

Oh, linny, I so hear you!
I am horrible at saying No.

I just read a great book, that helped me a lot to get better at it. "Rediscovering the power of No". You can get it on Amazon, or preview it for free here http://www.letsdoarealitycheck.com/12.html

Posted by: sophie at February 5, 2011 10:20 AM

Snuggiepants and Edith, you know what's shit? I really, really, really try not to care. And it's only me. No one else in my family has this problem. It might be that they're late all the time, not a lot, but they do disrupt what I have planned. I'd probably make a terrible boss. Hopefully I'm not actually as bad as that.

And being five minutes late isn't too bad, I'm already starting to fume, but I'll calm down as soon as I see you walk in the door. It's the 15 minutes late, the 20 minutes late, and no phone call that truly piss me off. If I know I'm going to be late, I'll call my boss or a co-worker. Sometimes they're even like, "It's only 7:30, but okay."

It's just something I can't help. I know how absolutely trivial it is...I just can't.

Side story: Out of the blue my Mom's like, "Hey! Lets go to the movies!" So I say sure, I'll drive. We figure out which movie we're going to, I check the time. I'm thinking, okay, everyone will be ready about this time, so we can leave at this time, it takes about 5 minutes to get to the theatre, and we can find our seats right before the previews start. (Which is probably a whole other problem in itself.) So we get in the car, on time, and I'm pulling out of the drive way, and my Mom says, "Oh, hey, I need to stop by the CVS place to see if my Debit card is working."

In my head I'm thinking, "Fuck, Mom! Why! Why didn't you say this shit earlier so we could have left earlier!?" But I don't freaking say anything and drive her to damn CVS. And when we get the theatre we get in right as the movie is starting, which I fucking hate almost more than the damn drivers here!

In all...it's a serious problem and I hope it doesn't worsen.

Posted by: Candee at February 5, 2011 12:46 PM

I have the tendency to overreact and freak out over situations that, if I would just give it a minute and take a few deep breaths, are really not all that bad. I don't like this about myself, that my gut reaction seems to be Burst Into Tears rather than Breathe, Analyze, Solve Problem. And the kicker is that, in the end, everything always works out. Shocker. Maybe it's because I'm in a rather overwhelming place in my life right now but it's something I need to work on and move past.

Posted by: Dingles at February 5, 2011 1:04 PM

I curse A LOT.
Like meh up there, I used to be a cynical sarcastic bitch (as I've been told). As I've got older, I started caring about ppl's feelings, so I just shut my mouth and that has grown into shutting myself to the world. Literally. I can go days without any actual physical human contact and I'm happy with that.
Also add me to the procrastinating/perfectionist list.

Posted by: MissRos at February 5, 2011 1:38 PM

I hold a grudge. Well, not hold as much as support, nurture and feed the grudge until it's a healthy nugget of rage. Other than that though I'm a pretty nice guy. Oh, I'm also terrible at interacting with people. So there's that. This can go on all day.

On the plus side, I hold doors open for people. So it all evens out, right?

Posted by: mrcreosote at February 5, 2011 2:39 PM

I am an island and I don't really care about anyone else's life. I will cut a person out of my life with no warning or explanation.

That sounds like I'm a bitch but I'm really not, it's self-protection. I've learned the hard way that being eager to please and affectionate are puppy traits and lots and lots of people just love to kick puppies. Also, having needs and emotions makes you inconvenient and being inconvenient means that you get to find somewhere else to live. I don't know how it affects other people, but that's what nearly a decade in the foster care system did for me.

Posted by: king at February 5, 2011 3:40 PM

I feel ya, Candee. I really get worked up over people being late, and I can't be late for anything myself. I always show up early and getting bored, but I get extremely anxious about maybe being late. I try to not let it get to me, but it's just impossible.

Posted by: Figgy at February 5, 2011 7:01 PM

I am horrible at saying no, and I hate myself for it. I learned that from my mom, who also taught me that self-esteem should be kept at a constant zero. It's been a trip getting over that.

I don't know how the rest of you have been treated, but I've been judged really, really harshly for these traits, by people who are mostly not my friends anymore. What the hell? I thought we were all imperfect?

Posted by: Jessica at February 6, 2011 2:51 AM

I am legitimately a nice, sincere, easygoing person demeanor-wise...but I am secretly very judgmental. Are you saying it's stressful planning your vacation when you don't even have a job? I'm nodding and smiling, but I'm secretly thinking "How do you function day-to-day, seriously?" Do you e-mail thank-yous rather than handwrite them? Yup, sorry, you're slovenly. Did you spend $400 on a pair of shoes? Hate to tell you, but you're soft AND a spendthrift to boot.

The flip side is that I'm pretty okay with being judged myself.

"Why do people stress so hard like that?"

Because underneath it all they're idiots and they only thing they can master is being on time and formatting documents properly. Whoops, there I go again!

Posted by: samantha t at February 6, 2011 8:41 PM

Oh, and I'm TERRIBLE at paperwork of any kind, resulting in my husband assuming responsibility for all paper-related tasks.

Posted by: samantha t at February 6, 2011 8:44 PM

I am the Queen of Justification. Want to postpone or get out of doing something? Call me. I will find you the perfect practically guilt-free excuse. In fact, you'll end up feeling virtuous about your escapism.
While this adds greatly to my general popularity, let's not discuss the state of my tax declarations, closets or Christmas cards, shall we?

Posted by: cinekat at February 7, 2011 6:51 AM

To be honest, I'm pretty perfect.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 7, 2011 7:40 AM

I'm a big time procratinator as well as a severe pessimist. It seems like I'm gifted (cursed?) to look for the negative side of any situation. But I'm happy about. in fact, my sister calls me a "Perky Pessimist". I even considered making that my tasg here - Perky Pessimistic Procrastinator (3P for short).

Posted by: Kargoyle at February 7, 2011 9:19 AM

I'm really judgmental. I try not to be but I totally am.

Also definitely a big procrastinator. I want so badly to get things done early but I rarely do. I always have good intentions.

I think I am just too damn prideful. Over the past couple of months I have finally come to terms with the simple fact that I CAN ask people for help. When I do I'm always grateful, and I do it much easier than I did even a year ago. But I hate admitting that I messed up, I want so badly to be perfect.

Whew this thread is fun.

Posted by: grace b at February 7, 2011 3:58 PM

Hey, hey, heeyyy, Meander, way up there on that thread & lonesome at 9:32pm...

you just calm yourself down, my sweet, adorable "short, fat, black" and funny-talking hottie -

you had me at "You're all idiots."

Posted by: Bill (Formerly Bill) at February 8, 2011 12:21 AM