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Warm-Weather Vacation Movies

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Comment Diversions | Comments (75)

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These smaller comment diversions (like last night’s Name Admin’s Baby diversion) are kind of great for the late night posts, particularly when there’s nothing left to cover. So, in the future, if any of you need some advice, suggestions, or assistance that I can solicit from the mighty Pajiban readership, you make can diversion and mini-diversion suggestions via email or over on Facebook.

Another of our illustrious readers, TPH, offered this: “Some buddies and I are going to the beach for a week and I need a list of the best summer, Spring break-, and/or beach-themes movies out there to put on my Netflix queue for the trip.”

So, help a brother out. I’m stumped, but for From Justin to Kelley. But I don’t spend a lot of time on the beach. All that sand … well, let’s just say I’m a fastidious person. What the hell does a person watch during beach vacations? Porkys?









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Comments

But I don’t spend a lot of time on the beach.

Who the hell would want to?

Granted, if it's cold, grey and windy that's a whole other thing, and very pleasant. But this sun malarkey......I ain't enabling that for no one.


Alright, fine, watch "Grease 2".

Posted by: Jay at May 6, 2009 8:54 PM

Summer Lovers. Greece and sex, what more could you want?

Posted by: Cindy at May 6, 2009 8:56 PM

Jaws

Posted by: TryScience at May 6, 2009 8:57 PM

Point Break

Posted by: branded at May 6, 2009 8:59 PM

One Crazy Summer

A dolphin...with rabies!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 6, 2009 9:01 PM

Hooper drives the boat, chief. What, no Bette Midler love? Beaches? For guys, Independance Day or any good baseball movie will have a summer feel. Bull Durham is a personal fave.

Posted by: slower lower at May 6, 2009 9:03 PM

Jaws
The Deep
Deep Blue Sea
Thunderball
Orca

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 6, 2009 9:04 PM

and of course, Top Gun for that very hetero beach volleyball scene.............

Posted by: slower lower at May 6, 2009 9:05 PM

Well, my family had an incredibly strange tradition of watching Star Trek: Insurrection at our beach house every time we were there, which was up to four times a year. I could probably recite long passages of that movie, and every time I hear about it or think of it, I think of the beach. Probably not what you're going for, though.

Posted by: That Girl at May 6, 2009 9:05 PM

You guys are the shit. Thanks, Rowles! I will await your responses with my Netflix queue on ready...

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 6, 2009 9:05 PM

The may not be the best choice for a bunch of dudes on a road trip, but my favorite all-time vacation/beach movie is Shirley Valentine.

Posted by: idgiepug at May 6, 2009 9:06 PM

Depending on whether you are horny or wholesome there's always Blue Lagoon and Swiss Family Robinson.

Posted by: TryScience at May 6, 2009 9:09 PM

Oooh, oooh, what about Love Valour Compassion?

(Technically, they're at a lake rather than a seaside beach, but it works.)

Posted by: idgiepug at May 6, 2009 9:09 PM

Forgetting Sarah Marshall has a nice beach feel to it. But if you want cheese I'd go for Blue Crush or Pearl Harbor but if you get Pearl Harbor I'd keep the fast forward button handy cause that shit is LONG.

Yes, I know all those movies are set in Hawaii. I like palm trees, shut up.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 6, 2009 9:13 PM

Idgiepug...since the group of guys in question are all gay as can be, Shirley Valentine is actually perfect!

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 6, 2009 9:14 PM

I got nothing..., except I just got hit with the perfect inspiration, Commando, staring the Govenator himself.

Posted by: George at May 6, 2009 9:20 PM

Weekend at Bernie's - not only a BEACH classic, but an 80s classic!

beach
dead guy
Andrew McCarthy
...what else do you need?

Posted by: Kiko at May 6, 2009 9:23 PM

John Carpenter's Army of Darkness, of course.

Also Valley Girl, the one about the couple who both get eaten by the shark, the one where Tom Hanks talks to a volleyball,

Wait, fuck it. Scratch ALL that. Let's do this right:

Muscle Beach Party
Pajama Party
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini
Village of the Giants
Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (awesome one!)
Fireball 500
Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (I did not just make that up, either.)

and maybe The Horror of Party Beach just for kicks.

There you go.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 6, 2009 9:25 PM

What, no Frankie and Annette?

Harumph.

*hitches pants up to armpits and waggles walker menacingly*

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 6, 2009 9:28 PM

Posted too soon. Looks like snuggie's on the same frequency. That's a woman I want to be with ...

Snugs, honey, howzabout I take you out for a little romancin', darlin'? It's almost 4 p.m. and we can catch the early bird special at Golden Corral.

Just wait'll I put my teeth in ...

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 6, 2009 9:32 PM

Psycho Beach Party

Also, John Carpenter's Army of Darkness? WTF?

Posted by: Tyburn Blossom at May 6, 2009 9:33 PM

So can we talk about how when I saw the title for the first time, I thought it said "Vatican Movies"?

I'm actually sort of disappointed now.

Posted by: marebear at May 6, 2009 9:39 PM

She is so tall and sexy. I know a place you can date with such sexy girls.
*** SeekBi.com *** which I have joined.­ I think it is interesting and you will like it.

Posted by: linda shake at May 6, 2009 9:41 PM

Summer Rental
Back to the Beach (LOL)
Hot Pursuit

Posted by: TL at May 6, 2009 9:42 PM

bucdaddy Sure thing honey bunches. Tomorrow we can use my coupon for 20% off the bill at IHOP.

Tyburn Whoops, I'm drinking, which should be obvious by my willingness to go out with some old coot who puts Old Spice in his pits.

I mean, yeah, haven't you heard? John Carpenter is re-making Army of Darkness and putting in Mike Myers. It's gonna be RAD.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 6, 2009 9:45 PM

"Back to the Beach"
Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon revisit their teen years as the hunky surfer dude and his beach bunny. With costars such as Lori Laughlin (in all her pert, youthful glory) and a masterful cameo by Gilligan of Gilligan's Island, this movie is pure fucking gold!

Watch it. Or I will watch it. Bitch.

Posted by: superasente at May 6, 2009 9:48 PM

Lucio Fulci's Zombie. Why, you ask?

Four words:

Zombie. Shark. Fight. Scene.


Recognize.

Posted by: TK at May 6, 2009 9:54 PM

superasente I would watch it, because you're scaring me a little, but I can't stand it when people get old and then try to pretend like they're young again. The only exception to this is if they ACTUALLY become young again, like in that one cool episode of Twilight Zone or the low-rent version of that: Cocoon.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 6, 2009 9:54 PM

I always like Psycho Beach Party - ultra campy with Lauren Ambrose and Amy Adams

Psycho Beach Party is a take on the horrible/awesome classic "Beach Blanket Bingo" with various "Gidget" influences.

Posted by: Gigi at May 6, 2009 10:01 PM

Planet of the Apes.

Posted by: SaBrina at May 6, 2009 10:04 PM

THIS is the 1st thread i open minutes after returning from vacation in boca?
seriously?

i
am
sunburnt.

damn you, 80s ozone-raping hairstyles!
and you, dutch-scottish epidermis, please accept my loving aloe gift.

and to the rest of you,

i missed you all.


(side-note: i was able to seperate from any and all wolverine business the past 6 days. please, god, before i go any further, please please please somebody tell me it was the most effin thing ever, that it was the fucking best experience they ever had and that it grossed 300mil domestic. tell me that the fucking talent they had lined up combined with spectacular writing and breath-taking cinematography in an epic story for the ages, that it was fuckin crouchingwall-eshawshankpulp-fuckinrockygandhispartacus-psychobynorthwestclockworkjawstothefuturefullmetaltokilladeerhunter-oldboywiththewind BAD ASS.

please.

Posted by: gp at May 6, 2009 10:12 PM

If you want to be uncreative, The Beach. I also suggest Degrassi Spring Break Movie.

gp, you went on vacation in Boca? I went to freakin boarding school to get away from that place.

Posted by: SaBrina at May 6, 2009 10:18 PM

gp: Clicky

Posted by: TK at May 6, 2009 10:23 PM

Snuggiepants the Deathbringer, I wanted to extend my gratitude to you. You see, my human has been languishing in bed with bronchitis all week. Just today, she started this foolish chatter about fevers breaking and returning to work in the morning and other such nonsense that will result in her leaving and my having to find a less warm and comfortable perch for the day.

However, just a few minutes ago, one her eyes started twitching, and now she's in bed again with a map of Hollywood, muttering something about not taking chances and can't risk it now that the idea's out there. She appears to be plotting some way to plant explosives beneath the city.

Should this result in either a relapse or extended mental health leave from work, I will be most pleased.

Posted by: Tyburn Blossom's Cat at May 6, 2009 10:24 PM

"Lord of the Flies" PIGGY!!! PIGGY!!! I love it. It's "Deliverance" on a beach with children.

Posted by: Diablo at May 6, 2009 10:37 PM

"Summer School", y'all. Mark Harmon and a very young Courtney Thorne-Smith: I shan't say more.

(Boobies.)

Posted by: Sapphiar at May 6, 2009 10:47 PM

SaBrina, my boyfriend lived there and wanted to visit friends, so we took off and did universal studios in orlando then drove down and stayed in delray. (might i add that the simpsons ride at universal is ROCK SOLID.)

and tk, i couldn't get 2/3rds through that, jumping over spoilers as i was, without FEELING more and more dread. if i weren't so travel-weary, i'm afraid i wouldn't get any sleep tonight.
dare i even hope for star trek?

Posted by: gp at May 6, 2009 10:57 PM

When the Mrs. and I go on vacation, we do four things: read, hike, and watch the history channel. Because that's how we roll.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at May 6, 2009 11:00 PM

Weekend at Bernie's.

Posted by: figgy at May 6, 2009 11:10 PM

"Two Days In The Valley" = good, trashy fun. Sun, sex, violent crime... hard to beat.
"Major League" = lots of fun if you keep the fast-forward handy to skip the Rene Russo scenes.
"Treasure of the Sierra Madre" = Best testosterone movie ever.
Yeah, I know, it breaks you theme but the fact that you're getting this vacation while I'm unemployed breaks my teeny-tiny balls... so, ya know, fuck you.
Watch these movies and be a better person for it.

Posted by: Spender at May 6, 2009 11:16 PM

DIRTY DANCING.

Fuck yes!

Posted by: figgy at May 6, 2009 11:17 PM

How could I almost forget about Meatballs III? Patrick Dempsey, Shannon Tweed, Sally Kellerman as the ghost of a dead porn star. 80's comedy at its best(?).

Posted by: branded at May 6, 2009 11:18 PM

Shag!

Posted by: majandra at May 6, 2009 11:30 PM

SLW: that's only 3 things. unless "rolling" was your fourth.


Spender: this was the first vacation i've had in *at least* 3 years. i work 6 days a week like a damn sharecropper. stop hatin'. you used to have my back!

Posted by: gp at May 6, 2009 11:36 PM

--== Cougarster. C om ==-- It's where mature women and men who like them can meet.

Posted by: ophelia at May 6, 2009 11:40 PM

Still got yer back AND yer front, gp.
Enjoy the time off. Before my recent bout with unemployment I worked 18 moths without vacation time and it was fucking awful.
Have fun, dammit... that's an order.

Posted by: Spender at May 6, 2009 11:49 PM

Help a brother out?

C'mon! Help a sister out!

Vote for me and send me to the beach! I'm trying to win a trip to Malibu.
click here, sign in, and vote for #7. http://www.lightning100.com/charles_darwin_awards.php.

I have until next Wednesday to collect votes. Give a girl a chance!

Posted by: wsapnin at May 6, 2009 11:53 PM

well, i just got back in town tonight. i have to work 2mor :(

and what the hell, wsapnin? i ain't clicking on that. you probably given out the creepy cruds.
get your spamming ass out.

Posted by: gp at May 7, 2009 12:11 AM

OMG wsapnin, i thought you were a spambot. i've been on vacation (and this time, i'm not bragging). i'll go vote now.

Posted by: gp at May 7, 2009 12:18 AM

Not Found
The requested URL /charles_darwin_awards.php. was not found on this server.

Apache/1.3.37 Server at www.lightning100.com Port 80

That's what I got wsapnin.
Help?

Posted by: Spender at May 7, 2009 12:34 AM

Mamma Mia! It's cheesy but everyone is happy and singing and beaching, perfect for vacation.

Posted by: soxgirl at May 7, 2009 12:37 AM

Shag!

Posted by: majandra at May 6, 2009 11:30 PM

__________________________________________________

And with that one word, two new best friends were born. I love, love, LOVE that movie. My buddy Heath and I can quote aaaaalmost, if not every, line from the movie. I watch it at least once every summer.


Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 7, 2009 12:47 AM

Wet Hot American Summer, obviously.

Posted by: Fi at May 7, 2009 1:14 AM

I am wet.
I am hot.
I am American.
It is not yet Summer but I am willing to make exceptions.
figgy? genny (aka rusty)? Pink Hulk?
No?
I am a lonely man.
Damn this lot in life.

Posted by: Spender at May 7, 2009 1:50 AM

Gidget, motherfuckers!

Posted by: AbbyNormal at May 7, 2009 3:39 AM

Abbynormal? You me and Sally Field? Right HERE? Right NOW!
NO one puts Gidget in the corner!

Posted by: Spender at May 7, 2009 3:42 AM

If you're in the mood for something really hokey, rent a slew of the Frankie and Annette/Gidget movies. They have major camp value and will inspire your own MST3K party.
And good, someone else mentioned Psycho Beach Party, I feared I was the only one! Watch the films listed above to prepare yourself for Psycho Beach Party, and you'll thank me later!

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at May 7, 2009 6:39 AM

mrcreosote, your movie wisdom is above reproach!! Bring on the fuzzy bunnies!!!

Hello??? Original "Friday the 13th" anyone? Seriously! Watching mom grab for her severed head always makes my day.

"That Thing You Do" Capt. Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters!!

Add some love for "Psycho Beach Party." Twisted, twisted fun!!


Posted by: dammitjanet at May 7, 2009 8:48 AM

He is so tall and sexy.I know a place you can date with such guys.
*** Seekingtall.com *** which I have joined.­ I think it is interesting and you will like it.

Posted by: salawhite at May 7, 2009 8:57 AM

Summer Rental
Summer School
One Crazy Summer
Jaws
The Ruins

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 7, 2009 9:01 AM

The Great Outdoors.

Posted by: DRE at May 7, 2009 9:21 AM

Some Like It Hot. The end.

Posted by: Kolby at May 7, 2009 9:30 AM

I hate summer. So I vote for the Daria movie 'Is it fall yet?'.

Plus, I'm in Australia so incessant talk of America summer is making me feel very, very cold...

Posted by: rach at May 7, 2009 9:43 AM

Ooh, Sapphiar said Summer School... that's a great one. These are some that are super summer-y to me:

One Crazy Summer (80s, funny, young Demi Moore & John Cusack)
The Swimming Pool (French & English, lots of sex, drama/mystery)
I Know What You Did Last Summer ('cause, "Summer")
Swept Away (the insanely bad remake with Madonna, mainly to watch Madonna get the snot kicked out of her by Hot Foreign Guy [jeebus that guy is hot])

and for some reason, A Bucket of Blood. Are they even on the beach in that movie? Mostly they're in his apartment or studio or whatever, but isn't there some part where he goes to the beach to find some hippies to kill or something? I don't know why this one makes me think of beaches and summer, really.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at May 7, 2009 9:44 AM

How has no one suggested Shark Attack 3: Megalodon? John Barrowman playing ultra hetero and saying lines like "how about I take you home and eat your pussy?" and guys on wave runners just flying into sharks' mouths. That just screams summertime.

Posted by: Courtney at May 7, 2009 10:17 AM

Re: Courtney

the FUCK?!?

Posted by: Jay at May 7, 2009 10:19 AM

The Sure Thing! John Cusack on a road trip for poon.

Posted by: shelleyh at May 7, 2009 10:42 AM

How has no one suggested Shark Attack 3: Megalodon? John Barrowman playing ultra hetero and saying lines like "how about I take you home and eat your pussy?" and guys on wave runners just flying into sharks' mouths. That just screams summertime.

Posted by: Courtney at May 7, 2009 10:17 AM

You know, I have dreams where John Barrowman plays hetero and says things like that to me!

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 7, 2009 11:11 AM

When I was a teenager my friends and I were obsessed with this movie called "Shag" (referring to the dance, not the Austin Powers use of the term) It is about four girls (Bridget Fonda, Page Hannah, Annabelle Gish, and Phoebe Cates) who have just graduated from high school in South Carolina in the early 1960's and as a last hurrah before three of them go college and one gets married, they run off to Myrtle Beach for the weekend. Drinking, Sex, Bullwinkle impressions, and dancing ensue. We loved it....and still kind of love it.

Posted by: ami at May 7, 2009 11:24 AM

How has no one suggested Shark Attack 3: Megalodon? John Barrowman playing ultra hetero and saying lines like "how about I take you home and eat your pussy?" and guys on wave runners just flying into sharks' mouths. That just screams summertime.

Posted by: Courtney at May 7, 2009 10:17 AM

I watch that every summer for that line alone. It makes me so happy in ways you do not want to know about!

Posted by: Angelmonster at May 7, 2009 12:00 PM

My Father the Hero, SkankCancer/Rainbow Killer goes to a beach resort with her father and tells everyone he's her boyfriend. I think this movie should have been a warning to all: this bitch be effed up.

Other than that, How Stella Got her Back Groove, oh I mean Groove Back and definitely some Gidget and Bernie.

Posted by: VeinsRHiways at May 7, 2009 3:37 PM

I think I know you're general movie taste Pink Hulk, so I'm gonna suggest maybe you haven't seen.

Hotel New Hampshire. Good with or without performance enhancers.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 8, 2009 12:46 AM

i love hotel new hampshire. i'd give rob lowe a gummer, or at least try not to use my teeth.

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The Caribbean is known for its all inclusive sex resorts like charlisangels. The resort also has European and Russian escorts in luxurious ocean front villa, not mention 24 hours security and many activities for its guests.

Posted by: Allen S at May 26, 2009 12:25 AM