Pajiba

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I saw it 5 times in theaters and hated myself more every time.

How can you like something which is total and absolute crap? I'm finding it hard coming up witha title and I've watched an average of a movie a week at the theatre for the last five years... I'll keep thinking about this and maybe write one later

The only thing I can come up with is horror movies like My Bloody Valentine and The Final Destination. The acting is bad. Really, really bad but you still love it. But being horror people aren't ashamed of admitting that. It is acceptable for horror to be bad. With other genres movies are usuallsy so bad you hate them, so good you love them or bland enough to help you kill two hours and forget them. So bad you love them sounds like a weird combination. It'll be interesting to see what other people will come up with.

This is difficult. Most of my secret shames were movies I caught on cable. I guess I would have to say Kingdom of Heaven.

It's long, boring as hell, but I saw it twice because Orlando Bloom looked so damn good in it.

The only one I can think of right now is My Bloody Valentine 3-D. But come on, it had Jensen Ackles in 3-D! How often do you get to see Jensen with an added dimension of sexiness? Never, that's when.

For me, it's the older shitty Michael Bay movies, like Armageddon, The Rock, and Pearl Harbor. Are they great films? Not by any stretch of the imagination, but they were fun to watch with my Dad, and that makes all the difference.

Phantom Menace is another one, I still insist it's the best of the new three, which signifies nothing, but the fact that I enjoy it is still quite shameful.

Still, I'd have to say the worst movie I've ever enjoyed was, and I say this exclusively for you people, was the Pokémon movies. Sure, they were some of the worst scripted, poorly animated, downright boring children's movies of all time, but to my young eyes, they were all but immaculate.

However, now that I'm older, I'd rather be beaten to death with razor spiked dildos while a Jonas Brothers CD played in the background than have to sit through those pieces of shit again. So do they still count?

Hmph, I think mine are all over five years old. I can't think of anything current...except Beverly Hills Chihuahuawannakillmyself. But I was dragged to that and used my pregnancy as an excuse to hang out in the bathroom.

I did see Kingdom of Heaven in the theater but I can't fully regret it because:
A) I got paid to watch it
B) I found a diamond on the floor of the theater - though this could be negated by the fact that I later got robbed and, of course, the bastards stole it. Blood Diamond is loosely based on this experience.
C) It was a major step up from Troy

WAIT! I LIED! It wasn't Step Up, it was Stick It. You can see how I got those confused.

The one we loved was with the girl from Reaper, and it was basically Bring It On: We DO Have a Gymnastics Team.

I went back to the old list to try and understand better what this shame-list should contain and what did I find? Hocus Pocus, Home Alone and The Last Action Hero. Really? Are they bad. Hocus Pocus and Home Alone are great family and kids movies and The Last Action Hero is just Arnie doing his thing (which is quite enjoyable). The only thing you might be emabrassed about liking them is the fact that they are family movies and to your adult friends you prefer talking about The Godfather than Home Alone but if it comes down to it you have to admit they are great movies of their own genre.

I loved The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie (which I watched at the theatre). I don't usually talk about children's movies so it would hardly be the film to talk about but I don't think I would mind admitting my love for it if we were talking about cartoons and children's movies

Many people name musicals as guilty pleasures but musicals are a genre on their own so you cannot compare them to something more serious. There's no shame in loving Grease and The Sound of Music.

I find these guilty or shameful lists a bit superflous (not that I want to spoil the fun here) but it would be interesting to see what you people think. I don't find it surprising that you found most of the movies mentioned not to be that embarassing and that guilty-pleasures gain a cult status. Obviously in such movies there are some good ingredients which will stand the test of time. I think it's more about being embarassed to admit to liking a certain genre of film.

Besides, if you really love a film, you have good reasons to do so. Why should you be embarassed to admit it to anyone?

From Justin to Kelly.

Still a damn fine movie and the last one I saw in theaters that met my awful, horrendous filmmaking qualifications. Like a good wine, it just gets better and better (meaning worse and worse), every year.

For God's sake, there's a skirt made of ties not worn ironically! Hovercraft racing! A shify-eyed southern blond with daddy issues! Texting as a plot point before most of America had experienced it! Reality stars really struggling to emote!

The only thing that could have been better (worse) is if the Idol contract had been iron-clad enough to have forced the entirety of the Top 10 into the film as was the original plan.

This is difficult - I've enjoyed most of the movies I've seen over the past year. The best I can come up with is Terminator: Salvation. And I can't say that I enjoyed the whole thing, but there were parts. Frankly, it's the people who made it who should really be ashamed.

My entry would have to be "Inframan".

What? Look it UP, people! It's a real movie. It was even a SHAW Brothers movie!

Also, I am ashamed that I've wanted to watch Last Chance Harvey - but I haven't succumbed to my odd desire as yet.

Push and Twilight. Ugh. Push: I thought that one guy was hot, Chris Evans. Then I realized mid-way that Chris looks a lot like one of my husband's best friends and I felt dirty, but still very interested and I just stayed completely drawn in but uncomfortable. Plus, Dakota Fanning looked like a child prostitute the whole time, a la Jodi Foster/Brooke Shields. It was awful. I'd watch it again.

Twilight: I'm a sucker for vampires.... It was terrible. I did enjoy the soundtrack, too. The books are ridiculous, but so much better. I do get aggravated when people say they are going to watch Twilight to see what all the fuss is about. Don't hate. I don't have a thing for Robert Pattison, either, but I'm strangely compelled. Maybe I've been glamoured. Wait, wrong vampires.

Hee. Robert wins.

Mine?

White Chicks.

Why the HELL do I keep watching it? Why? WHY? I don't know, I just can't look away. Plus the giant black guy cracks me up every single time.

Haven't been to the theater since Titanic, so I have nothing to add on that score. However, based on the review on this site, we got "Giant Shark vs Mega Octopus" from Netflix and it was quite the evening. Now we're trying to buy our own copy.

Oh wait. I need to read instructions before posting.

The Princess Diaries 2

Yep. We went because we had nothing better to do, and though I knew it was stupid and lame and just completely cheesy Disney fodder, I couldn't help but love the hell out of it. It was just so much stupid fun. And! Julie Andrews! And Mason from Dead Like Me! The only thing that pissed me off was that she ended up with the other lame-o dude instead of sexy, British Mason.

Dragon Wars.

Don't get me wrong - I knew it would suck before paying for my ticket, and I knew it sucked before the preceding trailers finished, and I really knew it sucked during the flashback-within-a-flashback and Imoogi was first dropped...

But some years later, I read online that it was a comedic sendup in nature, and NOT seriously intended at all, and that changed my feelings for it.

A little.

Well, enough that I don't retch at the mere mention of its name, nor swear death and crushed-puppies on every Korean in existence...

Vin, The Rock, Orlando...you have good taste, Kiko . I also saw Troy in theaters, and a friend of mine got me the shittiest bootlegged version of it as a gift. I'm not ashamed of Troy because I accept it for what it is: good looking men running around in skirts.

Syzlak, I have Men at Work on DVD, and I am not ashamed. How else would I have learned never to mess with another man's fries?

The Lake House.

I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, I love Sandra Bullock, and this was a fairly low key role for her. Second, Keanu almost does a convincing cry (you can do it!). But most important, they have a conversation about Persuasion (the book) that is entirely accurate. You can always win me over with Jane Austen.

Dungeons & Dragons

Yeah, I know that was a long time ago. I don't go to the movies often.

War of the Worlds.

I think a lot of my enjoyment came from the fact that some random guy mistook me for his date, snuggled up next to me and offered me popcorn before he realized that I wasn't who he thought I was. Then he proceeded to try and play it off by not moving to wherever his date actually was for the remainder of the film. He bolted before the lights came up, so I never got to ask him why he stayed. My hotness, I suppose. It's like fly paper.

But I digress.

The movie itself wasn't bad at all. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be, but I enjoyed it enough to watch it again later. To be fair, I don't think it was the film that actually bothered me as much as it was Tom Cruise being in the movie. He scares me. He scares me a lot.

Troy is nothing to be ashamed of. Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana AND Sean Bean? And Diane Kruger for the fellas.

Surley it's an equal opportunity bunk movie for all.

The Perfect Man

Heather Locklear, Hilary Duff, Chris Noth...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380623/

The one time I ever got stoned, I got talked into it by my friend and her cousin (my boyfriend at the time), both regular users. They laughed and laughed at nothing; I had a full-on paranoid episode. My heart was going a mile a minute and I was convinced I was going to die. Even the Krispy Kremes we got were no consolation.

And then? We went to see Spice World.

I never smoked again. If that was my brain on drugs, I wanted no part of it.

Wait, I skimmed the rules too quickly. We're supposed to pick a movie we knew would suck, saw it in the theaters (in the last five years) anyway, it did suck, and we still enjoyed it somehow?

Scratch The Grudge 2, then. I knew that would suck, it did, and I hated it. I got nothin' for this diversion.

The House Bunny. Saw it on my own free time.

Got my Emma Stone on, but I cannot recommend it for any reason.

Now the horrible movies I screened for my projectionist job? Delta Farce is pretty high on the list, so is Crossover (with Wayne Brady as the villain) and Redline. But by far the worst? Phat Girlz with Mo'nique.

As a poor post-graduate, I only go to the theater if I know the movie is going to be good. But I do have shady cousins in the bootlegging business, and business is a boomin'. So, even though I didn't see it in the theater, I'll throw in Punisher: War Zone. SO. MUCH. FUN. IIt's a symphony of craterfacing carnage and ridiculosity. All of the actors swing for the fences on the awefulsome scale. It's like Christmas where every actor gets their very own accent to butcher (Castle just grunts) and a shitballs retarded death scene. Glorious.

Maybe I've been glamoured. Wait, wrong vampires.
They might not be the Twilight vampires, Goddess, but they are the right kind of vampires. You know, the ones that kill people and burn up in the sunlight.
But, while Im on the topic, I do think Twilight has one (just one) over on True Blood, in that blood sends the vampires into a feeding frenzy. In TB, it is like any other snack food. Just a bit meh for me.

But I would take meh with a hot side of Eric Northman any day...
:drool:

I got nothing.
I have hardly set foot in a theater in 5 years, and when I did , it was to see something that either I knew I would like, or knew I wouldn't, but was starved enough for human company that I went to whatever my friend was going to see,
And that my friends, is how Hancock got to be the last movie I saw in a first run theater.
And I went in knowing it was 'meh.'

The Proposal.

I took myself to the movies one night because I had to get out of the house. I expected it to be a shitty, somewhat sappy romantic comedy with a few laughs. And it was. And I laughed my ass off. But I didn't tell anyone that's what I went and saw.

OK, I thought the header picture was from Dude, Where's My Car?, which fits the bill perfectly for me (except for being in the last five years). I went with a friend of mine who really wanted to see it, and to this day I have no idea why, because she rarely sees movies in theaters and she has no tolerance for stupid shit. And yet we went and we laughed the entire way through. And we weren't even drunk or anything.

As for something within the last five years, I'd say Wolverine. (Eeek. Did I admit that here?) Pretty much any movie with gorgeous men and explosions will get me into the theater, and I knew Wolverine would suck, and it did suck, and shit all over beloved characters and stories, but I still gleaned some small nuggets of enjoyment from it. Shame.

Sex in the City. I knew I'd have fun hating on SJP, plus I like to choose what I would wear, what I would tweek, and what I'd never be caught dead in. And my cousin who is a mom of 4 really needed a girls night out. And whatever, I still watch it on tv. Im an asshole.

Thank you, Jeremy, it's good to know I'm not alone in my secret shame of Pokémon.

Lesbian Vampire Killers. I feel shame....

Here's the thing: as far as shame over guilt, I have none. I'd have to say the film I enjoyed the most that I knew was bad before I went in was My Bloody Valentine 3-D. But I'm not ashamed. It's a crappy 80s-style slash fest in 3-D. I hadn't been able to see something like that in years.

Another thing I have to defend even though I don't see why is watching Twilight with Rifftraxx on. I highly recommend Rifftraxx if you have to review something and you don't want to slit your wrists.

Hannah Montana: The Movie

My friend and I were the oldest people there without children and we quite literally bolted from the theater as soon as the credits started. Totally worth it though, I have a secret place in my heart for corny teen pop. Pop it, lock it, polka dot it!

Fucking Fever Pitch. I'll watch that pile of shit every time it comes on.

Step Up 2: The Streets. I watched it five times one week (minor crush on the lead male hottie.) The dance routines are amazing and the dialogue is not so horrible that it's unwatchable.

I saw Dude, Where's My Car? in the theater. It was only entertaining because of the other people in the theater. Oh yes.

Silent Hill. Went in expecting very little and came out as the only person in my group not appalled and disgusted by the abomination they had made of the video game. I blame it on the Sean Bean.
The last scene with the barbed wire bed is probably the most ridiculously gory thing I have ever seen - I giggled all the way through it.

Oh, easy.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

I saw that in theaters twice. It was the summer I got my drivers license and I somehow talked my sister into not only going with me a second time but paying for the damn movie. Granted, this was the same summer she dragged me to Freaky Friday and From Justin To Kelly. My brain has never fully recovered from the latter.

The Wolverine movie runs a close second. I only saw it once on the big screen but I'll be damned if I don't want to watch it again and again. The predominance of muscular, beautiful men makes it a bit less of a shame, though. League really just has Sean Connery. And whoever that was attempting to play Dorian Gray. Stuart Townsend. That's him. At 16 I totally thought he was yummy.

Weekend at Bernie's 2. Granted I was 10 years old.

I loved the everloving shit out of it though.

See, I mostly save the shameful movies for watching in the privacy of my own home--usually on a night when the Main Squeeze is out, so this was a challenge. On top of which, since my movie going has definitely dropped off in the past several (9?) years, it was extra challenging with the 5-year limit.

HOWEVER, I found one.

Stick It.

But you know, it kind of doesn't count. Because I'm just not that embarrassed to admit it.

Now a certain Heigl rom-com despised by many, if not most, Pajibans, well that, would totally count; except, I was wise enough to see it on DVD.

GI Joe and Transformers II. My son loved them. Things blew up. Cool stunts. Great special effects. I think at work all day. Sometime I just want to see things blow up.

Continuing my long tradition of watching Bad Movies For Love, My Bloody Valentine.

Jensen Ackles was worth it. Oh yes.

Confessions of a Shopaholic. I knew that it was not going to be a brainbuster, politically correct, smart construction of gender, or anything snarky. And I loved the hell out of it. Hugh Dancy alone was worth the price of admission--twice.

Death to Smoochy. This is a bad movie. It has Robin Williams wearing a rainbow suit. It has Edward Norton in a purple rhino costume. Catherine Keener is in it and she is better than this. Hell, we're ALL better than this. It's surreal because I think I saw it on cable shortly after watching American History X. I treasure it.

I've watched the Wizard's of Waverly Place movie 4 times since it first aired (yes, I DVR'd it).

I took my little grandsom to see Bolt in 3D. I liked it more than he did.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: escapism is my drug of choice. Anything that suspends my reality for a time usually gets a pass from me. That being said: Transformers II. I enjoyed the hell out of that movie, despite Megan Fox.

And for the other poor souls that have been mesmerized by Twilight, I didn't see it in theatre but I went out and bought it the day it came out on DVD. Blu-ray. Sparklin', emo-vamps in high-def, bitches! Yeah, it's like crack.

Seed of Chucky

Zoolander, because it's just so stupid, and Love Actually because I'm a sucker for an ensemble cast, even this one.

Step Brothers. Fuck you, that Funny Or Die Insurance companies ad is genius. I was crying in the theater. Not a repeat-rewarder, but my gut was busted the first time.

Phoebe In Wonderland. A movie more for the chicks, but really fantastic. For those with morbid curiosities and a propensity to relieve tension through laughter, you should be well pleased. It's not medically accurate, but a driving story nonetheless.

If we can delve into queues, I was incredibly surprised by Europa (Zentropa) by Lars Von Trier. Way better than anything else he's done, and all I have left of his are The Idiots.

I have a few competing for the spot and I suck at decisions so, in no particular order:

Bablyon A.D. - Why cant Vin make a decent movie? I have manlove for him.
Doomsday - Was it just me or did it not have a compelling trailer? Probably just me /shame.
Wolverine - Against all advice from friends and family, I had to do it, and even though I should have trusted those people, I was STILL surprised by how awful it was. Ugh.

Honorable mention (ok fine I admit it, I'm just using the excuse to hate on some movies):
Pirates 3

Some of you are really missing the point or are terrible at reading comprehension.
I agree with,
Silent Hill and MBV but horror movies are too easy a fit for this, almost cheating...how about
The Goods - went into that expecting not to laugh and I did the whole time, but it ws pretty lame, can't wait to see it again.

Dumb & Dumber

Please don't hate me. I was 17 and stupid.

Step Brothers and Talladega Nights (which I thought was in theaters more than 5 years ago, but it's only been out since 2006, which just goes to show you how much I've watched that movie in the past 3 years). I know, Will Ferrell hasn't really been funny since Anchorman. But when he and John C. Reilly work together...it's magic.

I'm going to put up Death Race for myself, hopefully tipping the scales away from Twilight. Death Race actually deserves to be a cult classic. I talked shit about it the whole time, but god damn it was worth the oblig shirtless scene. I'm sorry, but a hot piece of ass is irresistible. What did Twilight have? A bunch of whiny emos waiting for marriage. barf.

White Chicks is an amazing movie. I have watched it so many times (although, to me credit, only when someone else suggested it and I have never PAID

I don't know if anyone's still reading this but DemonWaterPolo, I am so with you. Every single time that damn Legally Blonde movie is on tv (which is weekly) I will stop what I'm doing and watch all the way through...I don't know if it's residual childhood love leftover from Reese in Man in the Moon or what, but she is undeniably adorable in this and I can't ever stop watching...

Ok so obviously I'm drunk off this six dollar white merlot.

Batman Forever. I don't give a damn about the haters, but this film is better than Batman Returns.