Pajiba

Hoogie-Boogie Land by Complete.

Don't believe me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY

Spur-of-the-moment response, no scanning of my memory or taking time for reflection: "Believe" by Cher. It makes my EARS BLEED.

So many to choose from - "Mandy" by Barry Manilow - in fact almost anything by Barry Manilow. My skin starts crawling when I hear that one though!

Orinoco Flow by Enya. Her music makes me want to run around in circles and bark.

hollaback girl by gwen stefani. absolutely no redeeming qualities. stupid chant section that gets stuck in your head. its so bad, it almost infects no doubt with its awfulness

I cringe visibly every time I hear "Pour Some Sugar On Me". Hard. The song came on the radio once and someone asked me I was constipated.

"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. It was made worse by the fact that everytime someone even thought the word Titanic it played.

worst song EVER?

it's a tie:

"Walk the Dinosaur" by WAS (NOT WAS)

and

"Little Miss Can't be Wrong" by THE SPIN DOCTORS

"I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith makes me want to saw my ears off with a plastic spoon.

I can't narrow it down to one, so here's 5, feel free to skip to number 1 if I can only have one nominee:

5) "My Humps," The Black Eyed Peas
4) "Photograph," Nickelback
3) "Fuck The World," Insane Clown Posse
2) "We Built This City," Starship
1) "Achy Breaky Heart," Billy Ray Cyrus

Average Homeboy by Denny 'Blazin' Hazin.

And when I read your post ja, I thought you meant the song from the Mario Bros. Soundtrack. But it's different, right? I mean, that song is brilliant.
Open The Door
Get On the Floor
Everybody do the Dinosaur

It's gotta be either the Macarena or that other shitty '90's song by Chumbawumba. I don't know it's name but I do know that I am capable of homicide if I ever have to hear it again.

Which brings up a mini-rant: Why did the '90's have the fucktardiest one hit one wonders when the '80's were so good? I mean, Come on Eileen, There is Always Something There To Remind Me, even Sunglasses At Night are all listenable songs, if not guilty pleasures. Instead the '90's gives us Mambo No. 5 and these two fuckin' gems. What gives?

99 Luftballons - When this song came out, I was living with my grandmother in remote Missouri, where only one "rock" radio station was within reception range. They played the same song rotation every hour. Because this song was available in both English and the original German, it got played twice every hour. To this day, I can't listen to this song without going into a catatonic state.

Whatever is currently playing by Journey.

btw, Ina Gadda Da Vida is almost 19 minutes, not 10.

I'm jumping on the 90's one hit wonder bandwagon.

LFO's "Summer Girls".

It combines some of the things I hate most: boy bands, Jersey shore douchebags (or the imitation thereof), horrible white boy "rapping", and some of the worst lyrics ever set to music. Now I feel blood leaking from my ears.

That one Eminem song with the little repetitive backbeat that sounded like a video game refrain also annoyed the hell out of me. I don't know the name of it; I think it was the one with the video that had all the copies of him. Didn't matter if some of Eminem's lyrics were clever or not.

How can one even begin to come up with only one song? It's like being told to dive into a pile of shit to try find the worst piece of shit.

Off the top of my head, Right Here, Right Now by Jesus Jones. It's pointless, the singer sucks, the music is bad and every radio station and club played it over and over and over.

Sweet Mother Mary in Jodhpurs and a Lobster Bib, I balls-out HATE that damned song by Aerosmith (I Don't Want to Miss a Thing). The ex-wife, who I term The Evil Succubus, absolutely loved that song and the piece of shit movie, Armageddon, it was unfortunately attached to. Whenever the song comes on I can't reach for the radio fast enough to change stations. I'll listen to GOSPEL before I'll listen to that dreck.

"Round and Round" - Ratt. Tied with Poison, "Talk Dirty to Me."

For those of us who remember Happy Metal, Ratt was the beginning of the end of everything that mattered. Metal was supposed to be angry, about outsiders, about alienation. And here came these femmed-up dudes, rolling in women and cheerful as can be. If you weren't alive in the late eighties, and you can't imagine what it was like to be manly and dress like a drag queen in a Mad Max movie, check it out. At times, it is hard to tell the girls and the boys apart. Maybe, looking back on it now, that was the whole point. Maybe we were supposed to feel confused. I don't know. But I do know that I hated that song. And the one by Poison.

There are some great suggestions on here, but I have two that I HATE with the burning fire of a million suns:

2. "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
...Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around...

and

1. "How to Save a Life" by the Fray
...Step 1, turn the goddamn radio off because the Fray are on!!!!

Hate hate hate hate HATE!

That's why I went with a song that you are literally trapped in to hearing. On the radio? Big deal. My car, I get to change the station. Or put a CD in. Whatever. The worst is at a club or bar where you can't go outside for whatever reason or at an event where you're stuck or are there for another purpose, like fireworks. That's why that Lee Greenwood song makes me nuts. It's every damn year.

I'm not sure I was right, The Black Eyed Peas new song "I Got A Feeling," while a new song, may be even worse than "My Humps." They repeat the phrase, "Tonight's gonna be a good night," for 1 minute and 30 seconds at the beginning of the song, and it get's worse from there.

The only reason I'm hesitant is because it's still a new song.

What is that picture? Is Obama checking out some chick's ass in that picture? Or do I need to invest in a pair of reading glasses?

"Hero" by Enrique Iglesias

But Kassie, the Divinyls are awesome! And that song at least has some late 80s pop. It isn't as bad as, say, David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigolo."

Rules be damned, these songs just plain suck!

5.) "Steal My Sunshine" by LEN
4.) "There is No Arizona" by Jamie O'Neal. Yes, there is a fucking Arizona, I've seen it on a map before! (My ire for this song stems from a terrible summer job where the radio was constantly set to the country station and that song played every. fucking. hour.)
3.) "Summer Girls" by LFO
2.) "You Get What you Give" by New Radicals
1.) "Your Body is a Wonderland" by *shudder* John Mayer

There are some really good (or is it bad) choices here but I MUST go with Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You".

I'm not a fan of country music but at least the Dolly Parton version had heart. Whitney's only love is the sound of her own singing voice. This song not only fails to spark romance, but it will kill the mood by setting off all the car alarms in the neighborhood.

I can't believe I forgot: "She's So High" by Tal Bachman, ANOTHER one-hit-wonder who made my ears bleed. Even during my naive formative years I knew it was shit.

Memily, I simultaneously weep for you while saying a prayer at the exact same time. And I'm agnostic, I just thought that you needed all the help you can get.

"Sugar Sugar" by The Archies.
The Archies! for fucks sake ...

You know, neon, I would agree with you about "I've Never Been to Me", but having seen Priscilla: Queen of the Desert...I sort of love it - but only when drag queens are involved!!!
Otherwise: blech.

I still stand by my initial choice - children's choir, people! CHILDREN'S CHOIR.

Oh man, so many good ones already suggested:

Summertime Girls by LFO
My Humps by The Black-Eyed Peas
Photograph by Nickleback (HATE this song)

I'd like to add:
Linger by The Cranberries (HATE this song with a fiery passion. The worst part of Click was the implication that this song would still be popular fifty years in the future.)
Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant. I absolutely have no fucking tolerance for Natalie Merchant's singing style. She sounds fucking preoccupied the entire time. The god-damned enunciations of random-ass syllables that taper off into nothingness for NO APPARENT REASON. I feel like this song brings back memories of everything in the nineties that sucked, and it all comes rushing back when I hear it, along with the song that I can't stand. HATE.
White Christmas by Katy Perry on the Hotel Cafe Winter Songs album. Anyone listen to this? It sounds like a hangover in song form.

But the worst song ever?
Purpose from Avenue Q. I like me some Broadway sometimes, but that whole stylized way of singing can be grating. This song epitomizes everything annoying and off-putting I find with Broadway. And the song's just plain stupid in an otherwise intelligent musical. Fail.

'Woman' may be pushing it. Apparently, she is only sixteen. Which might explain his reluctance to admit to checking her out. Just sayin'.

Anything by motherfucking Soulja Boy. I hate that whiny synthesizer beat he puts on to every motherfucking track and the fact that every motherfucking kid at my motherfucking school screeched "Super soak that Ho!" And I fucking hate the fact that perfectly good beach party dance memory has been tainted by the entire fucking group doing that motherfucking dance in synchronization. I fucking hate that fucking Superman song and I'd rather fucking punch him in the teeth than be caught dead fucking kissing him through the phone.

THE ASSHAT FUCKING GLITTERGLUED SUNGLASSES!

i have to agree with arr matey and go with christmas shoes.

i hate this song so, so much. under "favorite music" on facebook/myspace/whatever i've typed: i'll listen to pretty much anything as long as it's not a crappy cover or that horrid shoe song that gets played relentlessly during christmas. barf.

also, james blunt's you're beautiful, madonna's shoo-bee-doo, and anything by rascal flatts--i can't stand that guy's nasal voice.

Think about The Christmas Shoes for a minute, okay?

The mom is dying but the little kid is out wandering alone to buy some gaddamn shoes! As someone whose co-parent did nearly die, do you know where my daughter wanted to be? At the effing ICU, because JESUS DIDN'T FUCKING WEAR SHOES and DOESN'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU SHOW UP AT HIS GATES NAKED, FULL OF THE BIG C, OR WITH AN ANYEURISM IN YOUR BIG SWOLLEN HEAD.

It makes me so fucking mad.

And, oh. The Madonna Version of "Santa Baby." She took sexy back. Back to her house trailer and smeared it with feces and bedbugs. Eartha Kitt should have threatened to beat her like Etta James did to Beyonce.

I've never heard this Christmas Shoes song. Should I look it up, or be thankful for my ignorance?

If we're tallying votes, I'm voting for "Photograph" by Nickelback.

MMMBop.

Amateurs.

Worst song ever?

You’re beautiful

James Blunt.

Seriously. The worst song ever.

It’s rage-inducing excrement.

I can't understand how you have managed to avoid it, Mel, but I say look it up...if only for my amusement.

While you're at it, you might want to check out the made-for-TV gem that is based on the song (or is the song based on the movie? I hope not - it's much funnier to me that the song came first.)

You can find a copy of it in the bargain bin at Wegman's (hello Central New York lovlies!) or any other fine, well-stocked grocery store.

I totally agree that "We Built This City" and "Achy Breaky Heart" are bad. However, nothing is worse than "Make Em' Say Uhh!" by Master P. It is the worst of the worst.

I had forgotten about Summer Girls and thank all of you wonderful people for dredging up such a horrid song. But as bad as that is I have to go with my all time (un)favorite, Lady In Red by Chris DeBuuuuuuurrrrrgh. Stupid song, stupid name for the singer. I am still filled with rage everytime I hear it, even though it's been almost 25 years. My hate knows no bounds.

cheek to cheek.... Gah!

I second Georges on "I Got A Feeling". It may be a new song, but it's the latest result of the buildup of their awful, awful creative process which is distilled from everything that's wrong with all existing music.

if you thought My humps was bad, the Black-Eyed Peas did another song that is somehow worse than My Humps, I Gotta Feeling is now the worse song ever p.s Youtube My Humps by Alanis Morissette, its an awesome send up of that piece of junk song

Thank you to everyone who thinks "My Humps" is the worst song ever. You've inspired me to make a comment. The Black Eyed Peas are retarded. In fact they even have a song called "Lets Get Retarded". I'm not sure who in the group writes the lyrics for their songs...but whoever it is (Will.I.Am? Fergie? Whatshisface or Theotherguy?), whoever it is should be locked in a room and forced to listen to "My Humps" for the rest of eternity.

Kid Rock - All Summer Long.

The most nauseating shitpile I've ever had the misfortune to hear. Played on high rotation by all English-language radio stations in the UAE at exactly the time my bathroom CD player gave up the ghost - so radio was all I had. The scars will never fade.

I have to throw in votes for "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship, "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith, and "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. Those are songs that fill me with white-hot fury at their awfulness. And I'm not really prone to white-hot fury.

While "My Humps" does not raise my personal bile-o-meter off the chart, I will agree wholeheartedly that it is a lame, lame, lame, lame song.

When a Man Loves a Woman irks me retarded.

"Picture" by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. It makes me physically ill.

Also, that horrible cover of "Drift Away" by Uncle Kracker. Sweet baby Jesus, save me.

Stewey, it's "Courtesy of the Red, White, Blue" and the fact that I know that off the top my head fills me with inexpressible sadness.

BTW, "Everybody Hurts" is a great song. I know, personal tastes -- but I hate to see it lumped in with these other abominortions.

I'd rather get babysat by Josef Fritzl than hear "Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed again.

@sansho1: I think "New Age Girl" got played to death back in 1993-94. Then they put it in "Dumb and Dumber" and it gained new life.

However, I disagree on "Everybody Hurts." Sorry, R.E.M. wrote way better stuff than this. That's the difference. I don't expect any of the other names on this list to generate quality. Honestly, Katy Perry? Fergie? Toby Keith? They're going to generate the same crap they've done before and keep going until they're replaced by new faces who'll regurgitate what they've done.

Meanwhile, R.E.M. wrote 2 songs that seemed to define their periods ("It's the End of the World As We Know It" for the 80s and "Losing My Religion" for the early 90s).

"Everybody Hurts" gave birth to emo, I'm sure of it.

"I Can Only Imagine" by some hack. This song makes me homicidal.

FTR, my teenage daughter went through a phase but came out of it into the Pixies, so there was a happy ending.
Posted by: RandyPanTheGoatboy at August 3, 2009 11:34 PM

There is yet hope for the youth of this great nation.

10 bucks for anyone who kills the people responsible for "We Built This City". Seriously! TEN AMERICAN DOLLAR BILLS! That's like a million bucks in... well, whatever country you come from. Think about it. You hate that song as much as we do and you're not FROM here, right? It clogged your airwaves as much as ours and made all of your sassy senoritas do that weird dance that they did, keeping you from doing what men were born to do. An insult to your manhood, no, Kemosabe? So imagine how much WE hate it. Not only did it make our women dance; their lithe and supple bodies, drenched in the sweat of a tropic night, writhing and twisting on the dance floor from hell... it drew us in and made us a part of their damnation.
We gave in, like lusty bitches, we did... we danced the dance of the AM Gods and sang along with the songs of Sweet and Mid-Period Elton John. Near seduced we were by the sweet and syrupy string arrangements and top end drum EQ... yet, we resisted.
We held fast and awaited our salvation and, lo it came.
The Ramones. The Sex Pistols. The Clash. Elvis Costello, Joe Jackson and Graham Parker.
Have I rambled?
As often I do.
Sleep well, young ones.
Uncle Spender loves you.

This post makes no sense whatsoever.
Meh. What does?

Smurf, SMURF! goddamn it! Rotten blue pricks stole my speakings.

damn, that Spender is OLD.

yeah, i'm calling you out, ya geezer!
that's right, better take your ass to bed.

"BOGANS".
YeahButNo. I haven't heard that since my stay in Auckland.

I miss Alt.tv

It was awful but pretty good at the same time.

i have a pretty damn high tolerance for musical pain. nearly all of the assbaggy songs mentioned on here, while not my favorites, don't generally reduce me to a murderous wench. but. when she wants revenge covered 'kidnap the sandy claws' for the rerelease of the nightmare before christmas soundtrack a few years ago, i snapped. i actually deleted it from my itunes, which is saying something as i paid legal tender for the damn thing. it just...oh it raised my hackles and stabbed me in the squishy parts of my soul. MODULATE YOUR GODDAMN VOICE OR GO HOME.

Spender- to think that was the same band that wrote White Rabbit. Say no to drugs kids.

Another one, Whitney's "I Will Always Love You" was the "My Heart Will Go On" of it's decade. A trigger song for my inner assassin.

way to phone it in, fig.

c'mon. tell us what you REALLY hate.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

Makes me want to claw his eyes out and rip his vocal chords out with my teeth and then spit them back in his face.

(better?)

*backs away slowly*

it's okay, it's okay, everything's fine, you're beaut... i mean, you're cool, nice figgy, gooood figgy.
*scrams*

A Moment Like This.

I still hear this song on the radio sometimes-- why? It's just another mediocre pop song; why the hell is it still on the air after nearly 8 years? I can get behind a lot of songs as really terrible, at least those you can laugh at. This is just... meh.

A Moment Like This.

I still hear this song on the radio sometimes-- why? It's just another mediocre pop song; why the hell is it still on the air after nearly 8 years? I can get behind a lot of songs as really terrible, at least those you can laugh at. This is just... meh.

Oh... it's "recipe", not memory.
MY BRAIN IS GROANING UNDER THE LOAD

Let's be honest, arguments can be made that most bad songs don't suck quite enough to be the worst but nobody can really defend Christmas Shoes so with that being said I'll throw in one that I can't believe hasn't been mentioned a ton yet, Lips of an Angel by Hinder. I have to go shower now after even typing the name of that(song?)abortion.

I would also submit 'Who let the dogs out?'

Or worse yet 'Feelings'.
Anal leakage.

And seriously? Nobody picked 'sometimes when we touch' by Dan (Down) Hill? If somone did and I missed it, kudos.

P.S. I can't believe you all are hating on some of the best bubblegum pop of the nineties: 'Summer Girls' is great because it has the worst lyrics ever written. For my money, the worst song ever written must be a country song. Either the one about barbecue stains or anything by that guy who looks like an old lesbian in Rascal Flats.

My name, I mean. Ugh.

Today's music basically sucks. When Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag can get top ten hits and the Black Eyed Peas win Grammy Awards we as a culture are basically fucked. But we need to go back to the 80's for the worst song ever. It was done by a big TV star at the time who decided to branch out and do music. His name was Don Johnson...and the song was Heartbeat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULI5kolBpAk

Horrible song, worse video....and it sticks in your head and you need a claw hammer to get it out.

"Underneath It All" by Gwidiot Stefani is the theme song for girls in abusive relationships everywhere. It's not only unlistenable, trite and boring, it's just wrong.

Once a few friends and I were driving from Ottawa to Toronto, circa 2002 or 2003 or so, and to pass the time I suggested we try to name the worst song ever. The first person responded 'Jenny From the Block' by Jennifer Lopez, and the car went silent. None of us could come up with a better answer.

The Trapped in the Closet anthology.

22 chapters totaling about two hours of infidelity, violence, cliffhangers, random character additions, murder, love triangles transforming into amorphous love piles, and R Kelly making himself the butt of the longest gay joke in the history of gay jokes.

I watched the whole thing after losing a bet. My roommate felt so bad for me that he bought me a copy of Labyrinth so I would feel better.

Sigh. So many bile-covered songs to choose from. I personally think that the RIAA make it a point to release at least one song at a time that truly, truly feels like a BB to the eardrum everytime I hear it. I am currently hating on that rifuckingdiculous Florida song Sweet Like (blue da ba dee. Take two terrible nineties rave songs and make guess what? One terrible hip-pop piece of garbage. Good on ya mate. Congratufuckinglations. Way to leave a shitstain on the world map. Thanks for your time.

Yes, to You're Beautiful (fuck James Blunt, and fuck that music video, I hope he caught hypothermia) an emphatic YES to My Humps (Fuck Fergie, no wait, actually I'd rather not), yes to "Who let the Dogs Out" and any other song with dogs barking in it and yes to Nickelback's Photograph. Those lyrics make me want to swallow glass.

But I have to say the worst song of all is that (wait! I am running out of synonyms for terrible! ummmmm...) horrendous Christmas song that plays in every shop in the mall at least every hour every day after Halloween. My God I hate the American Christmas season. It's that Hey Santa song sung by some whiney girlband-type trio in that god-awful, good-american-girl, nasally accent

Hey Syantaaaa!
Hey Syaantaaaa! (Syantaaaa)
Won't you be my babay tonaaaiight

Just thinking about it makes me want to knock my computer screen onto the floor and watch it shatter satisfyingly.

That song is the reason I left the U.S. I swear. and i'm never coming back if it means I never have to hear it again

Shit!

"Unwritten" by what a quick google search informs me to be Natasha Bedingfield.

Rubble 44, I second your motion and move that we vote to make "colostomy bag" (hertofore known as "bag", i.e. "BSlim is SUCH a 'bag'") the current Pajiba insult, until such time as some bag (I'm lookin' at you, admin) comes up with better.

achy breaky heart or chumba wumba - never gunna keep me down.

"More or less any representative of what constitutes modern pop with those mind-numbing repetitive beats drives me insane. Give me some true instrumentation or at least some sort of variation in notes please."

Word, Darth! My upstairs neighbour plays that shit. All I can hear/feel is the constant dull-as-ditchwater bass beat, which never changes no matter what song is playing. Drives me crazy! I respond by playing John Barrowman, loud. His music's cheesy, sure, but I'm tough, I can handle it. I bet he annoys Miss-I-love-crappy-dance-music upstairs, though!

Topic: 'Agadoo' by Black Lace. Or 'Vindaloo' by whoever the fuck did that one. Horrendous, moronic chav-swill. Makes me stabby.

Fine, I have a worst song. You've gotta know it. It's the one sung by Obama and Sarkozy about some random underage girl's ass. (I'm just saying. What the hell does that picture have to do with anything?)

Although there is an amazingly awesome song that could fit: "Little Girls" - Oingo Boingo

I, I, I love little girls they make me feel so good
I love little girls they make me feel so bad

They don't care about my one-way mirror
They're not frightened by my cold exterior

Dustin, our mighty leader of Pajiba: You are a firestarter, an instigator, a mother-flippin' provocateur, and freakin' Totes McGoader.

Oh what dialogue you have created; what hell you hath wrought. What consensus you have failed to achieve.

Did you really believe we could agree upon the single worst song ever?

If opinions truly are like assholes, then the Pajibans are collectively mooning each other every time you incite such discourse.

"Beautiful Girls" by Sean Kingston. In the lyrics, he claims they make him suicidal. Sadly he has not acted on this urge. He still lives on, making whiny pseudo-Jamaican songs (I don't believe he's really Jamaican. Phony). This song invariably comes on when I am driving and stuck in traffic. The sheer force of my jaw clenching causes my car to stop dead every time.

Ummmmmm...is anyone going to nominate The Spice Girls ??

They won't if they know what's good for them.

The Mail Must Go Through is a felony violation of my eardrums, so of course it's on a CD my daughter loves. The origins of it are unknown because whoever wrote and performed it was viciously tortured and killed on the spot, had his identity expunged from existence, and his house burned down with his family and friends in it for allowing him to create a piece of pure menace. Unfortunately, the townsfolk found themselves involuntarily humming and singing it for the next few weeks, and weary travelers stopping by the local inn subconciously absorbed it and took it with them. Thus began the Great Plague of 1400.

As someone who has to WEAR colostomy bags, I would say they are a pretty awesome thing. I mean, where would you prefer us to shit? On your feet?

Don't Stop Believing by fucking Journey

mswas I think I love you a little.

i have a few...

1. Meatloaf's song about doing anything for love, but not THAT. What is THAT? Is it really that bad?

2. More than Words by Extreme - there is nothing like emaotionally manipulating a woman into having sex

and

3. Bryan Adam's Have you ever really, really ever loved a woman....REALLY?????

Lindsey with an e - One of the reasons that the Obama pic was so bad was that it's not just a 'lovely woman'... She's a teenager (like 15 or something) from a poor area of Brazil. She was there as a student participating in the Junior 8. Eep! The picture still cracks me up though.
Moving on to the worst song...How about 'Pee in the Elevator' by the Planet Smashers? Or, for something completely different... 'Sometimes' by Britney Spears? That shit made my ears bleed.

Dee-Lite's "Groove Is In the Heart". Hated that since fourth grade and that moronic woman singing the song should die.

That is all. I am filled with anger as I even write the title.

Fucking Stairway to Heaven....I love me some Zep, but that song should never, ever be played again.

WHOA! SLOW THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"and any other song with dogs barking in it"

it is obvious that you have forgotten "hounds of love" by kate bush, which is one of my all-time favorites! it's about a woman who finds a fox that was attacked by dogs, and basically the whole song is a metaphor about letting yourself go in a new relationship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXmTvbw4kLw

seriously, the "dogs" sing the little bridge and it is AWESOME.

And am I the only one for whom HUGE amounts of text are being cut off on the right side of the comment column?

Tod: That used to happen to me. If you are using Internet Explorer, do View -> Text Size from the top tool bar, and then select a smaller text size.

Not enough of you people lived through the Seventies. It was a musical wasteland of a decade, I promise you.

And so...I have to nominate Wildfire, a song about a girl who goes looking for a lost horse and dies...in a killing frost. Yes, you read that correctly: a killing frost. How fucking brain damaged do you have to be to die in a frost?

For a montage of the worst music of this decade, I have two words for you: Radio Disney. The only station left still playing Hamster Dance and Cha Cha Slide, as well as the obvious Miley-Cyrus-Jonas-Brothers monstrosities. When my kid was Radio Disney age, we had to institute the Five Rule. Every time a song came on by a band with a "five" in its name, the volume was set to zero. It was a variation on the Jesse McCartney rule. We had a lot of radio silence during those years.

This Kiss, by Faith Hill.

Loathe.

three marlenas by the wallflowers - i turned off the radio everytime i heard it --- boring and vapid and stupid and bad just bad

Two that haven't been mentioned yet, that suck hard, any version, any
time:

"Lay Lady Lay...Lay across my big brass bed."

And

"Rawk AWN" (You know,the one about the "blue jean baby queen,"
whatever THAT is supposed to mean.

Lots of songs suck, but those two are truly unlistenable.

Lil' Jon & the Eastside Boyz - Get Low

Just imagine every white pasty faced asshole in the place singing / yelling this at the top of their lungs while sloshing beer all over their roofied dates:

To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skeet skeet got dam (Got
dam)
To all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skeet skeet got dam (Got
dam)

Got dam indeed.

-Lips of an Angel- Hinder (brings out anger in me I didn't know I had)
-Freshman- The Verve Pipe (it's not a song! The melody never changes!!)
-Everybody Hurts- REM

CLAP FOR THE WOLFMAN

"Walk the Dinosaur" by WAS (NOT WAS)

and

"Little Miss Can't be Wrong" by THE SPIN DOCTORS"

Ja - wow. I don't know if I can top that because those two songs are, indeed, really fucking bad. I have always hated George Thoroughgood's "Bad to the Bone" with a passion. I'd like also to nominate Barenaked Ladies' "If I Had a Million Dollars".

Oooooooooooooooh, I got one!
"Rock Me Amadeus," by Falco!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I won't subject anyone to undue pain by posting the lyrics to this song. I won't speak of the trauma of having my ears raped when I first heard this song. Lastly, I wish unending torture on the low functioning twat who released this song.

Milkshake is the worst song ever. (Don't question it)

*first time comment

K, I can't read through all comments, maybe later, so maybe this is redundant, but "We Are the World" is the worst song ever. Shitty lyrics, shitty music, shitty performance. Just all-around shit.

I can't remember the name of the band, but that godawful "Butterfly" song from the 90s. I remember that shitty acid-trip video with the frontman with his frosted tips and tattoos, and the girl in the video with a butterfly tramp stamp. It was like a bad rap/rock deal. Why were the 90s so terrible? Gah.

I agree with the hatred for my humps. Also jessies girl by rick Springfield.

Achy-Breaky Heart. On a trip to Dallas a few years ago my then six year old daughter sang this for TWO SOLID HOURS! Seeing as how she was the only black chile in America who knew ALL the words to this "masterpiece" I felt the only way to save the family honor was to drop her at the city limits of Rockwall and let a family of Gypsy's have her. Her mother thought this a little over the top. We were divorced shortly after, I'm sure this incident had nothing to do with it. Nope, not at all.

B-52s "love shack".. definitely, the most horrid and nerve-wrenching piece of garbage that stunk to high heaven... or hell

Enrique Inglesias' "Hero."

GAH.

"Picture" by...whoever, I can't remember. Not Nickelback, although that sucked too. The one that went:
"Do you want to take my picture, cuz I won't remember..."
over and OVER AND OVER. GOD, I just wanted to claw out my eyes whenever that came on the radio. And I can stomach some pretty crap music.

Oh, Agent Provocatrice, you haven't lived 'til you've heard the Curves workout music version of Redneck Woman (which, thank you so much, is now stuck in my head...). They have album upon album of appallingly lame renditions of (mostly) dreadful music.

Come to think of it, their version of Love Shack is equally cringeworthy, charlie--and I really like the B-52s! It pains me to hear their tragic Fred Schneider impersonator. Seriously, Peter Griffin doing Rock Lobster would be better.

Stupid gym and their stupid crummy music...if only they weren't so conveniently located in my office building, I'd seriously consider switching. Grrr.

unfortunately, after the 9/11 attacks on the WTC, some idiots decided that they needed to pay tribute to flight 93 by writing some truly nauseating songs.

take a listen to "LITTLE DID SHE KNOW" by KRISTY JACKSON. pure manure. in NY, where i live, the radio stations ate this kind of stuff up. so not only did we have to suffer through 9/11.....but also really really terrible songwriting. >

It's probably been covered, but that motherfucking Miley Cyrus shit 'The Climb.' OH. SWEET. CHRIST. I wanna set rape victims on fire when I hear that.

Also, I'm not sure if anyone here has heard this next shit storm, but there's a new song, and the whole way through it's just saying, "You're a jerk. You're a jerk. You're a jerk. (I know.) You're a jerk (I know.)" It makes me wanna get retard strong and punch holes through nursing puppies.

WHY is my generation fucking retarded?

And Sofia, I agree - I actually like most of teh songs that everyone hates on this list... except My Humps; that song could be criminalized and I wouldn't be upset.

Maybe, from Brainstorm. Go listen to it, I dare you.

You say..
My body, my hand
My heaven, my land
My guardian angel is mine

You say my dreams, my head
My sex, my bed
And its my corona with lime

Vomiiiit. And damn you radio stations in Poland, for playing it all the time.

You're all insane.

It's 'Music' by John Miles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnO3LwkANXw

Oh, can't forget the theme song to Friends. May it die a firey death.

hellcat, I had to look the song up 'cause I hate it, too. Filter - Take a picture

so. bad.

My vote for worst song ever is def James Blunt's You're Beatiful. Who likes him? He's sounds like a dying cat in heat in every song. Is that his real voice? I think he's fucking with everyone.

I'm amazed I haven't seen much hate towards beyonce... why?

Another vote for You're Beautiful by James Blunt. Who in the name of holy fuck buys his records pray tell?

""Crusin'", a duet by Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis."

Oh, dear God, that song is a pile of dogshit. The original is absolutely gorgeous,too, which adds insult to injury.

Hulk- did you know that Sweet Home Alabama is the sAME SONG as Werewolves of London? It's true!

And that makes me wonder if there isn't a worthy comment diversion in 'the song that wrecked an otherwise respectable career'

SHA and WWoL would be right up there. 'My Ding a Ling' reduced Chuck Berry to taking pictures in the ladies room. Also awful are the above mentioned 'We Built This City' and 'Everybody Hurts'.

I think there's something there.

that one song thats like - "SHOOSH GIRL. SHUT YOUR LIPS. DO THE HELEN KELLER AND TALK WITH YOUR HIPS..."

What the HELL is THAT?? That songs makes me want to punch holes in walls Andy Bernard-style, it angers me so much.

God. "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" (or however those ear-rapists spell it) is easily in the running for worst song ever. Same with "Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy". Oh yay, a country song with sexist bullshit pickup lines AND an awful rap verse? How original.

Country and rap will only mix if rap does the crossover. Country stars are not allowed to make the first move. Then again, they're all about pre-emptive strikes, so you can't stop them even if you want to (which I desperately do).

I'm going to say Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls". Because it made drunken chicks and frat boys sing about suicide as if it's some sort of result of being hot, and therefore is totally awesome. Way to make the thought of ending your own life sound cool to people who don't understand what's wrong with that sentiment. If only more of those idiots would have gone through with it then, we wouldn't have to deal with Asher Roth now.

Oh, dammit, and I forgot Weezer's "Heart Songs". How did that band pen some of the best songs of the '90s? HOW?!

I LOVE the following:
Cat Power
Barenaked Ladies (even if they on the crack)
Dee-Lite
Old Rod Stewart
OutKast

....runs off to build playlist that will be the sonic equivalent of a lobbed colostomy bag. or as my dad calls his, the Gravy Bag...

Preface: Sacramento just recently lost it's longest running alternative music station, KWOD 106.5, when it was bought out and forced to switch formats to "KBUZ - The Buzz" or some shit... a station which only plays 90s music.

Now, don't get me wrong, some of the best pop music came from the 90s (Stone Temple Pilot's "Interstate Love Song," Alice in Chain's "Would," The Pixies, Tribe Called Quest, The Roots Things Fall Apart and Iladelph Halflife albums, Wu-Tang, etc., etc.), but they only play the shit. So, my vote is for --

No Doubt - "Don't Speak"

a truly vile song. Though, to be fair, "Sunday Morning" is quite good... so, that's even more doubly-damning, like Bill Murray's involvement with Garfield...

Oh my God, I just couldn't decide until someone mentioned the Christmas Shoes song. I mean, really. REALLY. Once I was in the hospital over Christmas, and I was getting an MRI, and they had the headphones on the soft rock station that plays all Christmas music until the New Year, and it played, and I remember laying there thinking to myself: this is the worst moment of my life.

Wait, I forgot about Old Skull and Jordy. Ugh.

Gwen Stefani.

Hollaback Girl.

"B-A-N-A-N-A-S"

Spell out bananas!!!!!

Jesus fuck my eye Christ.

Right said fred-Im too sexy. Think of that song for a moment,and if you haven't heard it before,consider yourself lucky. I really have trouble thinking of a worse song to have hurting my ears.

Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah.
Sucks so bad I had to rewrite it.

Hey there Delilah You're a fat and ugly tranny.
I put my inside your thigh and found out your very manly.
yes it's true
No one has fooled me quite like you, I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah or maybe should i call you Larry
You've got pretty hips and legs but your upper lip hairy
You need a wax,
Do what I say and it's a fact, you'll wax some ass.

Oh, you'll be on your knees
Oh, you'll be on your knees
Oh, you'll be on your knees
Oh, you'll be on your knees
You'll be on your knees...

Hey there Delilah, or maybe should I call you Clarence
Some trannies blame so-ci-e-ty but I say blame your parents
that is all
Dressed you in dresses, it's their fault
you tuck your balls.

Hey there Delilah you have quite a mighty grip
I know you must have gotten that from your many years laying bricks
But now you're gay
You like the pipe and that's okay.
YMCA.

Oh, you'll be on your knees
Oh, you'll be on your knees
Oh, you'll be on your knees
Oh, you'll be on your knees
You'll be on your knees...

Hey there Delilah, I've gotta go and take a shower
I've been trying as hard as I can for most of the last hour
To feel clean.
Don't know why, i can't feel clean.
I touched your peen.

Hey there Delilah I'd like to offer some assistance
But I'm afraid that if I did your make me go down n suck you piston
Yes it's true.
Quite a big adam's apple there on you
You are a dude

Hey there Delilah I want to say that it is over
I wrote my folks a note and soon I'll be hangin from this rope
And that is it
Like Carradine but not nay-kid
K, maybe nay-kid.

Oh, it's what you did to me
Oh, it's what you did to me
Oh, it's what you did to me
Oh, it's what you did to me
what you did to me.
what you did to me.

Intergalactic Planetary by Beastie Boys. I just want to rip my eyeballs everytime this song plays.

Anything from the Jonas Brothers...puke.

"Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams.

Fuck that song...

Posted by: Sexy Rexy at August 3, 2009 10:58 PM

I heard a R&B cover of that yesterday. I wept for music afterward. Truly awful, no hyperbole; I don't even know who sings it, but fuck me if it's not one of the worst things anyone will ever hear. I'd rather listen to a school full of children and puppies being crushed under a steamroller.