Pajiba

Dune. Hands down, no contest.

Two:
1. "Date Movie"- 'nuff said
2. "The Secret Lives of Dentists"- so mind-numbingly boring and worsened by my irrational hatred of Hope Davis. But seriously, just.so.damn.boring. I can't bring myself to justify my boredom because it bores me to recall the film.

Henry isn't a bad film. It was put together in a very effective way with lot's of care. It just happens to be the most disturbing film I've ever come across.

Bad film is the latest werewolf benicio deltoro crap fest. Nothing has been that bad in a while. I remember thinking the val kilmer treat "spartan" was god awful.

The one that comes first to mind is Meet Joe Black. I remember feeling like my brain was going to liquify and drain out my ears, it was so boring.

The Phantom Menace. for every reason a movie could suck, it did.

Come and See, the Russian movie about Partisans fighting Nazis in World War 2, was one of the toughest films ever to get through. Not because it was badly made, but purely because what it depicted was quite horrific in places.

On a lighter note, one of the few films I gave up on half-way through was Bullet Proof Monk, on account of it being bloody awful.

Scully: That was cellular, with Chris Evans and Jason Statham, I've only seen the trailer.

It was the first movie I ever saw that I absolutely hated. It was called North, and I can't even remember what it was about. Maybe I'd even like it as an adult. I was about 12 and at the theater with friends unsupervised for the first time. Then the movie started and I was bored for 2 hours and pissed that I had wasted not only my time but a small taste of independence on this movie. I was especially disappointed to realize that movies get made even though the people involved must know it's going to be awful. I think I've since seen much worse films over the years, but the disappointment of that first bad movie still stings a little bit.

2001: A Space Travesty, with Leslie Nielsen. Memorialize the man all you want, that is a wretched movie. It resulted the friend of ours who picked it out being banned for life from ever picking out the group movie again.

A close second is that Will Smith movie where he plays the magical black man who comes to enlighten the whiteys. Bagger Vance? Wasn't Matt Damon in that too? For shame. In and of itself it might not be the worst, but I watched it with my family who kept earnestly telling me what a great movie it was as we were watching it. It was all I could do to not openly mock it in front of them.

i thought ISOYG was extremely well done. but i know not everyone here feels that way.
and michael rooker was fantastic in henry.
of course, i liked cellular too.

but the WORST movie, the one i actually walked out on?
hook.
god, i hated hook.

Tits McGee, "North" was the movie that caused Roger Ebert to write: "I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated hated HATED this movie. Hated it!" Having read that review, I avoided it.

I have to go with "Phantom Menace," too, just because it so thoroughly crapped on so much that was beloved by so many, AND was boring, AND made no sense, AND was incredibly racist at every possible turn.

But the one movie I couldn't make it all the way through - though it has moments of dazzling greatness - was "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover." Critically acclaimed film, far too realistic in its depiction of sadism.

Baxter -- a weird German movie about a psychotic bull terrier that murders people.

Thing is, the original VHS cover made it look funny. Bright and shiny yellow, (inexplicably) rated PG. A friend and I rented it in high school, and after a few minutes, she looked at me and said, "Next time, I'm picking the movie."

Runners up include Audition, as well as the Ellen debacle known as Mr. Wrong, which I paid THEATER PRICE for. Granted, in those days, theater price was $5.50 for a nighttime show.

Hmm. OK, these are the ones that are so bad, they're not even

so-good-it's-bad, they're just so-bad-it-makes-me-want-to-die.

And movies that I've watched all the way, otherwise I could

just list all of the "Movie Movies". These are irredeemably

bad, with not one single thing that is good about them. I don't

even know why I watched some of these.

1. Catwoman
2. The Women (the new version)
3. Sex and the City
4. Black Knight
5. Patch Adams
6. The Wedding Planner

I was gonna say Wicker Man, but the truth is that I've never laughed so hard at a movie in my life.

Oh, and movies that I have hated, though if put at gunpoint I could probably say one thing good about them?

1. (500) Days of Summer
2. Wanted
3. The Triplets of Belleville
4. The Missing

@Melissa: Who's going to blackmail Kiefer Sutherland about being drunk and high? Would'nt 'blackmail' imply the infromation was meant to be secret and hidden?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCiageqMHJc&feature=related

I looooooved Hook.

My most hated movie is Dancer In The Dark. While it has some good performances and a couple of entertaining song & dance numbers, the plot is my least favorite plot of all time: (this is going to be SPOILERY, so stop reading if you haven't seen it and want to...)

The plot is about the saintly martyr who allows horrible thing after horrible thing to happen because they're so saintly they are unable to directly or indirectly cause one iota of harm to anyone else, ever if their life depends on it.

If Selma (Björk's character) would simply open her mouth and tell the truth... at any time... even just the tiniest bit of truth... she'd make it out of the movie alive. But NOOOO... she just suffers lie after lie from her "friends" in silence, never once defending herself. And she's innocent of everything she's accused of, too!

I gather this is familiar ground for director Lars Von Trier, treating the female lead role with utter contempt (Breaking The Waves, Dogville). But I'll never know, because I hated Dancer so much that I'll never watch another of his films.

"Meet the Parents" and "Loser" (with Jason "I fucked a pie" Biggs). Both those movies make me want to punch a baby.
I can appreciate a bad movie as much as the next guy, but only those two inspire blind, white-hot baby-punching rage.

Walked out of Starsky & Hutch. I think that's the only time I've ever done that.
But the WORST movie ever made is The Darwin Awards (I think that was the title)... it starred the dude from Shakespeare in Love. My husband and I watched the whole thing, no small feat, trying to figure out WHY. WHY?!

I think you need to clarify. You say "worst," but the only real description of worst movies you gave were because they were too gory or vicious.

Worst Movie Ever Made - D Wars. There's no competition. It flew right past campy territory into godawful. It's also the only movie where I've ever demanded my money back.

"Employee of the Month." As if I didn't want to stab Dane Cook in the throat already.

The two I thought of immediately were (500) Days of Summer [Figgy, you are my soul-sister] and that film that I refuse to acknowledge as being a sequel to 28 Days Later.

OH MY GAWD how on Earth did you manage to completely abort that movie? I think half of the problem is that it starts well enough and then derails, sets itself on fire, plummets off a bridge, and drowns.

"Forget Cillian Murphy and Brendan Gleesan. Let's put cute, self-centered kids in the center of this movie so they can do dumb things that ABSOLUTELY WON'T get them in any trouble!"

"Let's go back into a dark tunnel, just like the first movie! Then it'll be easier for the audience to compare the two!"

"Let's start the infection again by kissing! That's cute!"

"Nevermind the fact that HE LEFT YOU FOR DEAD, forgive him immediately! NOW KISS!"

"Let's cast Robert Carlysle/Jeremy Renner/Idris Elba in this movie! And then let's get them infected/burn them/I don't know what the fuck happens to him because he really has no point!"

"Let's fly a helicopter into the infected, because that's totally something that would be done by the military and not by some go-go dancer with a machine gun leg!"

"Let's just ignore character development! But we will be sure to make the character that appears to be the most like a human being be the first to become infected!"

"Let's shake the camera REALLY fast and spastically so it looks like things are happening!"

"GO AMERICA! Nice try, Britain. FUCK YOU FRANCE!"

Cannibal Holocaust, because they actually murder animals in that movie... I will forever be disturbed.

In addendum, don't you ladies normally do a little landscaping before Valentine's night? Seriously, show some consideration. I generally refer to Valentine's as "Undie-chafer Razorburn Day."

@Moviefraud: Do you feel the same way about "Apocalpse Now"?

I walked out of some Jamie Lee Curtis flick with Blue in the title in the summer of 89 or 90. I only paid a BUCK to see it, but it was such a horrible combination of depressing AND bad that I just walked out.

Hook is AWFUL. Just awful. I can't even see 5 seconds of it without wanting to destroy my eyes, ears, and brain. But basically I rarely ever like anything Robin Williams OR Julia Roberts does, so that one was a two-fer.

All those Star Wars prequel sequels. They hurt me.

Generally I block out movies I hate that are just over the top awful, so I can't think of others, though I saw some shitty movies back in the day (I'm extremely selective these days).

Oh! I LOVE Prince, but he made one called Under The Cherry Moon. I saw it in high school with friends and we ROARED with laughter throughout, though it wasn't a comedy. But that's in the category of so bad it's good, so never mind. Oh Lord, Prince fell while being chased by the cops, and he was running in those heeled boots that were all one piece with his pants, and there was a shot of him prone looking back over his shoulder (butt shot) and squealing as the police descended on him that STILL makes me laugh when I think of it. Oh Prince.

It seems that we are talking about two different kinds of movies here. On one hand, we have BAD movies--movies that are stupid, poorly made, poorly acted, mind-numbingly dull, or are in general made of fail. On the other hand, there are movies that are "good" but so upsetting/disturbing that we can't bear to see them again. In the former category, I place Van Helsing. Everything about that was terrible, and I would have walked out of the theater, had I not fallen asleep. In the latter category, I place films like Welcome to the Doghouse, which was effective but so viscerally upsetting to me that I could barely sit through it.

Oh, dear God- Gummo: I would cross to the other side of a river of lava to avoid even making eye contact with anyone who could enjoy that . . . whatever it is.
And if you've never seen a little gem called Zandalee, you're missing a singular Nicholas Cage tour de cukoo.

I would say "Chariots of Fire", but since I did not see all of it (movie induced coma set in at about the 30 minute mark) I couldn't honestly pick that one.

I just want to know if I am the only one who remembers "Battlefield Earth"? Yes, I saw it. When I think of the things I could have been doing instead of watching that tripe:

Removing my wisdom teeth with pliers

Running through the mall stark naked and making a noise like a fire engine

Going down town, purchasing an eight ball, cooking it up in my basement and shooting it into my veins.

I weep for the time I lost.

The Matrix. I LOATHE it. For years I'd been told how brilliant and classic and influential was. but it was all just absolutely stupid.
The Wachowski brothers took an intriguing premise and wasted it horribly. Even the famous visuals were without any substance or justification. The plot was poorly thought out and incoherent, and still managed to pander to the lowest common denominator. Thematically, it was about as subtle as getting repeatedly hit over the head with a sledgehammer while simultaneously being force-spoon-fed soggy oatmeal. The dialogue was cringe-worthy, and I've never seen such flat characters and utterly uninspired performances. The whole movie was a disappointment on a grand scale.

"I've read all of Frank Herbert's Dune books, and several of the books by his son and others."

"I'm a glutton for punishment."

Yeesh, no kidding! Braver man that me.

Naked Lunch directed by David Cronenberg. WORST. MOVIE. EVER. It's the only movie I've ever gotten up in the middle of and run to the bathroom because it made me so nauseous that I thought I was going to vomit.

I used to hang out in high school with a group of guys who liked to find weird movies at the independent video store in town (RIP, Hollywood East). Stuff like Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles. So it's not like I hadn't seen gory or odd stuff before. But this movie... to this day, I REFUSE to watch it again. And I actually married one of the guys from that group, and he still thinks it's funny to tease me about my reaction.

For those of you who've seen the movie, the scene that sent me running was the birdcage scene. Oh god, the memory, it BURNS. I need to bleach my brain.

Seriously, eff you, David Cronenberg. You too, William S. Burroughs.

Bad BAD movie - The Apple which is just so amazingly bad on every single level I can't begin to explain how appalling it is.

Bad GOOD movie - well, walked out of two in my lifetime. Monsignor with Christopher Reeve and Jacqueline Bijold, and Breathless with Richard Gere. Nude scenes with the latter, lots of Richard as sex on a stick, and it was completely unwatchable.

Nothing lately so bad I've walked out, but I change the channel or pop the DVD out with no qualms.

Hmmm, she doesn't like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer or Deliverance. Once less movie reviewer to not have to waste my time on.

@Melbivdevoe

I don't think Naked Lunch was terrible. I just couldn't understand much of it, mostly because Peter Weller's mumbling was incomprehensible, and the VHS version I watched had no subtitles. I do remember it was the most disturbing film I had seen at that point in my life.

Without a doubt, George Lucas singlehandedly cockpunched my entire childhood out of me. Like the dream of heaven when you die, the tantalization of that decades long mythic possibility of something so amazing as to make all the shit you had to struggle through to get to that point worthwhile, you see the light at the end of the tunnel and then George has to go and say, "surprise, you don't get heaven, you get a sand paper handjob." That's when I knew I was a grown up.

Tucker: A Man and His Car

Technically, it's no worse than average. The acting is fine. The dialogue is slightly better than your typical Lifetime Movie. That being said, it's responsible for the most god awful, irredemable, painfully boring two hours I've ever had to endure. I'd rather listen to Ben Stein recite the dictionary for 4 hours than sit through that again.

I really, really hated The Aristocrats - I think it might be one of the only times I stopped watching a movie, as I have a high tolerance for crap. I got banned from picking group movies in university for selecting Kingpin - damn Bill Murray failed me. My husband fell asleep during Planet of the Apes, and I recall the whole theatre watched in horrified silence.

Snuggiepants, the movie you're thinking of is Blue Steel with Jamie Lee Curtis as a cop who has Ron Silver (who could be the serial killer of the movie) after her.

Some of the movies on this list (From Dusk Till Dawn, Dune) I love and I do that knowing they're crap. All the same, let me add two that I regret watching to this day:

1. Ultraviolet: This was Kurt Wimmer's follow-up to Equilibrium, an okay movie with some great ideas/action. You got Milla Jovovich (always a red flag). You got special effects right out of SyFy's worst fares. And you get a sequence in the middle where Milla and a kid are at a park and Wimmer switches to home movies camera shots that just brings everyone to a "WHAT THE FUCK?!" standstill.

2. Spy Hard: Like katy, I was less than impressed with Leslie Nielsen's millenial fare. When I say that Weird Al's theme song was the best part of the movie, I'm not kidding. That theme song displayed all the touch and awareness of Shirley Bassey's classics...while the movie was a rancid piece of feces.

For those asking for clarification, this is an entirely subjective diversion. I've seen plenty of films with violence, but Henry just went too far for me.

,--meet me in the parking lot.

Hannibal. His little sister looked EXACTLY like my daughter, who was the same age at the time. As soon as I realized where it was going I shut it off and then had nightmares until I went back to it and finished it so my mind could shut it off. Ugh. Bad movie too, making the "ugh" factor that much worse.

I see we're talking about actual attempts at real movies and not, say, "Plan 9 From Outer Space" or "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians."

That kinda makes me sad.

I'd say the Star Wars prequels, but Harry Plinkett's video reviews made suffering through them worth it.

I actually found Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer kind of disappointing, but it was still worth the watch.

I'd have to go with The Invisible. That piece of shit made me want to give up on movies all together.

Van Helsing and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...both severely painful.

I walked out of The Nutty Professor 2, I think. It was mind-bending in its unfunniness.

The Rite. It was awful. I hated every second of it and not even Sir Anthony Hopkins could save it.

I THOUGHT I was the only one who was DEVESTATED by "The Butcher Boy"...having come off such a high with "The Crying Game" (it being one of my ALL TIME FAVES)...I nearly lost all HOPE in mankind as a whole when I saw "The Butcher Boy"...a resounding WHY came from the bowels of my soul...that creepy kid in it was worse than ANY manic killer I had endured during the 80's when slash/dash were the norm...perhaps it was the childhood story of "Henry, Portrait of a serial killer"....another one that gave me the the shudders...but I couldn't turn it off...

But for worse movies...I gotta give it to my boy David Lynch for a couple..."Lost Highway" was pure "D" shit...I wanted to kick another hole in his ass for taking time out of my life for that one...until I saw "Mullholland Drive" (don't care if it's misspelled)...if there is EVER a more pretentious crap piece of movie in existence...I don't wanna see it...)and what pissed me off the most was IT WAS SO ACCLAIMED....so of course, I felt like I was NOT part of the in crowd because I thought it was utter tripe...so I watched it again recently, just to see...and all that viewing did was piss me off more...if it was possible...

Also...has ANYONE seen the movie "Georgia" with Jennifer Jason Leigh and Mare Winningham? Two actress I've always liked...but watching that movie made me want to get in my car...go and find them...the director and the screenwriter and the producers who put together the financing for the project and open up a HUGE can of "whup ass" on them...

Jaws 3D. I am fairly sure that sharks don't growl.

Yet, I can't stop myself from watching if I come across it on teevee.

I'm so ashamed.

See...you've got me started...

"Dogville"...MY GOD!!! I thought it was the beginning of the end of the world...oral surgery done without narcacotics would have been better...in fact...ANYTHING that pretentious fuck Lar von Trier does makes my uterus contract...and the way the critics were fawning ALL OVER IT and Mr. V.T. stating that it was an allegory about how fucked up America is...REALLY...but I blame myself for that one...because I let him FUCK ME UP THE ASS with no lubricant with "Dancers in the Dark"...I could never look at Bjork the same after that...and that alone puts Lars on my "shit list" for life!!!

Oh...and "Ray"...how can one of my favorite directors makes such a BORING movie about a man who was utterly fascinating...when Jamie Foxx won an Oscar, I wanted to kick everyone who voted for him in the gonads for wasting an opportunity...

And speaking of Prince's movies..."Grafitti Bridge" made me dislike Prince...4EVA!!! How DARE he squander such an opportunity....

Now that I'm thinking about this subject matter..I'm sure I'll be back with some more...

Summer of Sam.
Something about the way that movie was shot. I don't know, I couldn't sleep properly for a month. Again, it's the depiction of human cruelty and insanity. It felt too real.

as for movies that wasted 2 hours of my life that I will never get back? The Whole Nine Yards. Oh my holy shit. It was so awful I started yelling at the screen in the dollar theatre. Which started the 5 other people in the theatre yelling comments at the movie too. Horrible movie. It was one of the first movies I saw with my husband. It was recommended by my sister. We now have a paper on our fridge. When she recommends a movie, we write the title on the paper. The heading at the top of the sheet? "Movies we will never see."

I'm legally required to love "The Whole Nine Yards" because it's the only film to feature a character wearing an Ottawa Senators shirt.

I can think of a few reputedly good movies that I didn't enjoy/didn't finish that would shock and appall people here, so I won't name them to protect my dignity.

However, a "bad bad movie" that I will freely admit belongs on this list is Nude Nuns With Big Guns. Fuck, you'd think a movie like that would at least be campily hilarious, but NO! It was SO bloody awful, and not the least bit entertaining!

"Punch Drunk Love"...

WHAT...IN...DA...FUCK?!?!

MM, I wouldn't say I'm necessarily a horror buff, but I have a tolerance for violence in movies. What drew me to Henry was that so many people had claimed it was the most realistic portrayal of a serial killer on film. I'm more interested in true crime, and that movie couldn't have been further from the actual story of Henry Lee Lucas. So the thing that dragged the movie down for me was the loose association.

, I take it you mean Haggis' Crash? Whenever people mention Crash I still always think of Cronenberg first.

MM, I have NEVER been a fan of horror movies, because I have no gore tolerance at all - so you can imagine how "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover" scarred me.

funtime42 said Bad BAD movie - The Apple which is just so amazingly bad on every single level I can't begin to explain how appalling it is.

For me, that falls firmly into "so bad it's good." RAPTURE OF THE HIPPIES - need I say more?

Strangely, though, "The Pirate Movie" - which should be so bad it's brilliant - made me weep with hatred. I was also very drunk at the time, but I had to leave the room in tears because I hated the movie so much, and it was so relentlessly awful it caused me deep psychic pain. (It was an '80s reimagining of "Pirates of Penzance" starring Kristi McNichol and the blond boy from "The Blue Lagoon." I broke down sobbing during the musical number entitled "Pumping and Blowing.")

I know about that "Crash"...hell, I've even got Ballard's book...that scene between Spader and Koteas...HOT!!!

I got another one thanks to tonight's cable line-up..."Star 80"...the cinematic equavilent of a thorazine drip...a movie where I disliked...EVERYTHING...even the furniture and buildings the movie was filmed in...

Slumdog Millionaire.

Such a morally reprehensible, badly written, badly acted, schizophrenic ugly piece of cinema. Just because you acknowledge that you're using cliches doesn't mean you aren't using them and they're not bad.

Snugglepants: Definitely! A whole lot of Helen Mirren is in it.

The Last Airbender.

The late 90s Batman movie with George Clooney & Uma Thurman.

Cindy, while I do not hate the film, I didn't care for Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer either. It has somehow become a sacred cow in the horror canon and I just don't understand why. The lead performance is excellent, but that doesn't make it a good film. I have similar opinions of Deliverance. Shock value is not equivalent with quality.

MM, you have made a powerful film enemy by daring to insult the brilliance that is Grease 2. I have gotten so much mileage out of stealing that ending for short plays (usually as a placeholder until I actually finish the script, though one group loved the absurdity of destraught motorcycle suicide so much they insisted I leave it in). You can't look someone in the eye and honestly claim you get no joy from the calendar stage number. It's impossible. Let me guess: you love the original film so much that you view the sequel--though no more absurd, trashy, or poorly acted as the original--as a direct insult to the original.

As for most of the rest of you, I envy you for seeing so few films that these are the worst you've ever seen.

I'm sure I could name a hundred movies so terrible I never want to even think about them again, but for a unique kind of "worst" I'm going to have to go with Attack of the Clones. That was the one movie that I saw in a theater that actually made me embarassed to be sitting there watching it. The "romantic" scenes of Anakin and Padme, with her telling him they shouldn't give in to their feelings while she's wearing that ridiculous low-cut black leather outfit that makes her look like a dominatrix... God, Lucas, what the fuck WAS that?

My Super Ex-Girlfriend. Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, & Anna Farris are all actors I like. But this was the worst piece of shit ever.

I went with boring before (Dune) but I'm also going to mention "the Passion of the Christ". The lowest form of pandering and incredibly racist.

Since "bad" has different meanings here, my list contains those movies I think are poorly acted, written, and/or directed, but have been bankrolled in such a way that should have provided better than we received (and I know that throwing lots of money at something doesn't ensure goodness, but hey, that's the way it's supposed to happen in Capitalism, dammit).

A History of Violence I liked "Crash" well enough, but watching all of Cronenberg's other movies -- including "Crash," truth be told, but especially this one -- amounts to watching Cronenberg masturbate. And he isn't pretty enough or talented enough for me to want to see that, literally or figuratively. I also want to punch anyone who tells me how brilliant it is. Punch in the neck. Hard. So beware...

Life Is Beautiful Again with the masturbation, this time from the Italian lovechild of Robin Williams and John Ritter (god rest his soul), Roberto Benigni. This thing is a piece of dreck and all I want to do is punch a small child (preferably one being thrown around by his Italian father while on a bicycle) every time I think of it.

Van Helsing Much like @Lala11_7 and "Georgia," I want to find everyone attached to this movie and hurt them emotionally. When I was a tyke, I used to watch "Dark Shadows." It was filled with every kind of movie demon rip-off imaginable. But, it was the 70s. And it was TV. Daytime TV. And had a budget of like $14 per episode. And it ran for seven years or something, so yeah, they needed to fill some time. Van Helsing? Curse you, Jackman!

The Ugly Truth I'm not a big romantic comedy fan, but I will find myself watching them and, honestly, enjoying them. The scripts are mostly crap, but the actors are usually competent and the production values nice and they're usually fast in and fast out. Kathryn Heigl -- and I don't watch her TV show, so I was neither here nor there about her -- was god-awful. And Gerard Butler should never be allowed to speak with an American accent. Actually, he should never be allowed to speak at all. The script? ... Sorry, I just threw up.

There you have it. There are more, I'm sure, but these came to mind pretty handily.

Hostel. I just 100% hate that movie. My wife thought it was hilarious (she doesn't get grossed out easily and thought it looked really fake) but I just loathed it. I know it was supposed to be satire and dark comedy and whatever and I got that, but using a blow torch to pop a woman's eyeball is really not a comedic moment for me. Just a vile flick. I had nightmares for a week. And this is coming from someone that loved The Devil's Rejects.

That Justin Beiber Film.
I havent seen it but the trailers make me want to punch my TV.

Metropolitan.

I was living with a friend in LA and he had the VHS tape in his library. He was gone and I looked at the jacket and saw a group of kids playing cards and one chick was about to take off her bra and I thought, 'Spank material?'. It's not spank material. It's pretentious, insipid gar-boj. I found out from my friend later that Metropolitan is one of his faves and that he made some high school buddies watch it with him years ago and that afterward, his buddies held him down and took turns punching him in the arm as retribution.

Runners-up:
-Bloodwork. Really? A I kid solves the mysterious code of the number killer by noticing a simple clue that a team of homicide detectives failed to?! And talk about awful motives.
-Ghost Rider. I bought my girl dinner and a night out as an apology for making her go see this.
-Crank. Ditto for Ghost Rider. I worship The Statham and I cherish the Pajiba community, but I can't believe this movie has been embraced in the blogisphere.
-Moulin Rouge. I always keep my yap shut whenever this one comes up b/c I learned long ago that opining on how this movie is just a long, sparkly music video for the ADD-addled only gets me branded an insensitive male.

It's not so much these are the worst films per se, but the fact that these two films had potential and then were ruined:
Eyes Wide Shut: Would have worked if the movie was set in the time period that the novella was based in (1910-1920).
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Connery's character was not suppossed to be the "leader" of the group.
Also, one recent popular movie that I hated that most people loved, Hot Tub Time Machine!

The worst movie I've ever seen is Salo: 120 Days of Sodom. I watched this movie 16 years ago and I can still remember almost every single scene. I would prefer not to.

Running a close second is The Begotten and I've seen that piece of crap 3 times. (pretentious art school friends) Lets all go watch God disembowel himself and Mother Earth give birth to a full grown man and then be raped, all to the soothing sounds of crickets and possibly an out of tune violin. Apparently the filmmakers distressed each frame of this by hand. Because visible scratches and sepia tones make it art. Actually it probably is art, I just never want to sit through it again ever.

I hated "Eyes Wide Shut" so much, that it was the FIRST time I actually wanted to go to the theater manager and DEMAND my money back...I felt GYPPED, and hoodwinked...it was suppose to be this sexual/psyhco thriller that wasn't sexy...that was about as deep as a shallow pool mentally...when I saw that crud, I knew that the marriage between Kidman and Cruise was OVA...nobody can act the level of disdain that Cruise had when Kidman was telling her sophmoric sexual situation that was suppose to be SO DEEP!!!

And what makes it SO SAD...is that the movie had EVERYTHING going for it (wrong director though...WHAT WAS KUBRICK THINKING?!?!)...there are parts in the movie that HITS IT (Pollack...AWESOME)...but those parts are few and far between and just pisses me off even more...

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story wins the distinction of being the only film I've ever walked out on.

Kangaroo Jack. Hubby and I were trapped in a house for a week while hunting, and only three DVDs (there was cable the prior years so we didn't think to bring movies). The only options were Monsters, Inc, Shrek II and Kangaroo Jack. After watching the first two half a dozen times, we tried the third. We couldn't even finish it. It was horrifying.
On a related note, I've seen Monsters, Inc and Shrek II approximately eleventy billion times as a result of that trip. And now we bring our own DVDs.

Twilight.

Let me start by saying that I liked Caligula (I have it on DVD, thank you very much) and I quite enjoyed the three Star Wars prequels.

Of course, I wear loud aloha shirts ....

That being said, here's my list of the worst films I've ever suffered through:

1. Titanic: Leonardo diCrapio looking like a manic squirrel on crystal meth, and Kate Winslet looking winsome even as she freezes to death.

2. Eat, Pray, Love: Magnificent scenery, but the actors kept getting in front of it and jabbering.

3. Van Helsing: Egregiously awful. I'd show it to prison inmates.

4. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: See #3.

5. Dune (David Lynch version): Dull, dull, dull. Awful special effects, wooden acting and stilted dialogue. Nothing like the book at all.

6. What Happens in Vegas: A literal miasma of suckage.

Uda,

You would be correct. I watched all of it but walked out feeling pissed off and insulted. I've somewhat reconciled with Haggis since, because "In the Valley of Elah" is a good, quiet little movie and because he called out the Scientologists.

North is the worst movie ever made.

I don't count pieces of shit like I Spit on Your Grave.

I'm talking about movies released by studios: and North, "directed" by Rob Reiner, is the most heinous crime ever perpetrated on the film-going audience since Xanadu -- and even Xanadu does't count, because that wasn't really made by filmmakers, whereas Rob Reiner knew better.

Was he high? Was someone he loved being held hostage? I don't care. He should give up an organ for foisting that waste of film stock upon us all. He should donate two-thirds of his future earnings to twenty-five needy families for the rest of his life, to TRY to make up for it, though he never, ever can.

A lot of movies were boring. A lot were forgettable enough so I won't name them here out of sheer mind blankness. Some were plain bad or really lousy (most recent being The Rite).

But there were the ones who led me to hate myself for a moment or several:

05- Scary Movie 2 (only movie I ever abandoned while watching in a cinema)

04- The English Patient (fell asleep 3 times already, can't get to the boring end)

03- 2012 (I got really angry after it and couldn't explain why)

02- The Dark (with Maria Bello; saw it alone, for free, laughed out loud, gave away my extra ticket to a security guard, saying "But don't go watch it!")

01- Lady in the water (started cursing after 20 minutes and turned off the TV after what seemed to be 4h of gibberish)

Honorable mentions: Van Helsing and The Phantom Menace.

God, it's so easy to remember what you hate...so here are my top (or bottom, as it were) three:

1. "Pret a Porter." Models are dumb. So is this movie.

2. "Forces of Nature" starring Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck. I don't even really remember the plot, if there was one. I just remember sitting in my apartment parking lot with my friend Paige for a good 2 hours after the movie, dissecting just how Godawful it really was.

3. "How Do You Know." This movie should kill Reese Witherspoon's, Jack Nicholson's, Owen Wilson's, and Paul Rudd's careers. It was that awful. I felt like I was being Punk'd in the theater.

Irreversible. I watched it while writing a dissertation on rape in media, and it was one of about ten rape scenes i'd watched(not including the two I'd shot for the student film I made-I am aware doing a study on rape in media then shooting rape scenes is sort of stupid but there is applicable logic, I swears)

Any way...It's not a film I can watch again. Not the worst I've seen but certainly one I flinch away from more obviously.

I'm not sure what the worst I've seen is. For some reason I saw parts of A Serbian Film and to this day feel morally compromised.

But worst worst, like, just most deplorably bad ever? Gawd...I love to blog about the very films I fucking hate so my list could be long. I think last night I called Ghost Rider The Worst but the night before I'd called some Steven Seagal shit The Worst.
I call lots of things The Worst.
You're the Worst.

I think in terms of it ending and me not thinking 'that was awful' but '...wait, what happened?' would be Dorothy Mills.
SPOILER:
Dorothy is a 15 year old girl who lives on some isolate island where everyone is old fashioned and religious. She's accused of assaulting a baby but claims not to remember.
A shrink is called in to assess her and she discovers Dorothy is some sort of natural medium. She's possessed by the spirits of three teens(gothy outcasts) who died when she was five.

Turns out the female teen was gang raped at some freaky, pagan festival (the time line on this film makes nofuckingsenseatall because these teens are clearly modern goths but died ten years ago but it's never mentioned if they went off the island to get their clothes and stuff...)and the rapists chased the teens off the road and killed them.
Dorothy's 'strange' mother worked at the mortuary at the time and washed the bodies, while Dorothy was present. Which somehow to led to them possessing her?
I don't even know. This film has moments of brilliance but mostly it left me confused and sort of obsessed because I NEED an explanation

Meet the Spartans..There is no argument to this.

Gummo...that scene with the boy eating spaghetti in the bathtub will haunt me forever. I have used only showers since that fateful day.

My little sister made me watch The Family Stone probably four years ago. What a confused piece of shit movie. I hated every god-damned character in that pile of trite garbage.

Babel. I want those minutes of my life back.

I wish Pahiba'd let me upload images, because I would have made a quadrant graph of this:

Bad "bad" movie: Superbad, Pineapple Express
Bad "Good" movie: The Other Boleyn Girl, Garden State
Good "Bad" movie: The Room, Black Dynamite
Good "Good" movie: Gosford Park

Once again I see I am late to the party of complaints.... but I will add my worst movies anyway.

I am only going to talk about two vastly different movies that immediately popped in my head after reading the article and comments.

1) "Eating Raoul".... Yeah, I know Siskel and Ebert love the stinky panties out of this movie. It was one of their best movies for what, all the 80s???? I trusted their reviews soooo much I finally rented and watched it. Or should I say I attempted to watch it, to this day, I only have a couple of visuals of that movie (It was a black comedy about cannibalism for Christ sakes!!) The plot I refused to even remember. Please....don't bother to explain it either... I have shut down that portion of my brain to reject all that is Eating Raoul... for ever and ever AMEN.

2) "The Cookout" with Queen Latifah... I mean seriously????? I have seen some horrible, and I do mean HORRIBLE straight to video black movies. (There was this one where Blair Underwood stalked his best friend's wife, he was at one time having an affair with. The best scene is him nakedly and lustfully dry humping the hell out all these stalker pictures he has of her...all posted on a wall. I was wiping tears of laughter away as I admired his pert tight ass.) To know me is to know I have had movie fests of crappy movies if I am bored enough... but there is NOT enough boredom in godtupus's purple pastures to make me watch that stereotypical pile of steaming celluloid. I saw about the first 45 minutes for FREE on a bootleg version. I LOVE Queen Latifah, but I STILL want to slap the Cover Girl offa her for that turd pile.

sleepless in seattle makes me want to set my head on fire.
this movie makes no sense, has no depth whatsoever. i think i could excuse the characters behavior if they were 12/legally insane.