September 10, 2007 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Comment Diversions | September 10, 2007 |


Like anyone who gives a damn about their coif, I have a gay hairdresser who likes to talk a lot. He’s like Kevin Bacon in Beauty Shop, always telling me with a giggly lisp how I’m just about to fall flat on my ass. God love him —he’s the reason the gay stereotype exist. Anyway, last week, he posed to me a question that I’d never actually thought about: If your life were a movie, what would it be?

Fifteen years ago, I’d have probably said something like a cross between Welcome to the Dollhouse, This Boy’s Life, Running with Scissors (with a competent director) and any film starring a dysfunctional, mullet-wearing white-trash, drug-addicted gay father and the wacky neighbor/closet lover. But now? Beats me.

So, I bring this question to all of you, along with a couple of others:

1) If you life were a movie, what would it be?
2) In a movie of your life, who would star?
3) What would the theme song be?

Having failed the first answer, the guy to play me would probably be the love child of Vince Vaughn and Diedrich Bader, if gay marriage were allowed and men were genetically capable of procreation with one another. And the theme song: Ben Folds’ “Bastard.” Of course.

Now your turn.

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The Movie of Your Life

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles

Comment Diversions | September 10, 2007 | Comments ()



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