October 31, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Comment Diversions | October 31, 2008 |


Today is Halloween, and in honor of the Devil’s Holiday, a up-and-comer in Eloquent land, becks, proposed this diversion, which she stole from an unnamed site, which she assured me was not stealing time away from her loyalties to Pajiba. Because we don’t let our Eloquents leave. Really. Oh, we’ll give you some time off, occasionally, but abandonment is out of the question, even if it means that I, personally, have to take over the use of your commenter name until you return to defend your besmirched honor. I’m still waiting for the real B-Slim to come back so I can stop hurling insults at myself, though I’m having a a wonderful time talking about boobies in pasadama mike’s stead. Are you feelin’ me?

Hell. Where was I? Oh yeah: becks’ comment diversion: Name your five favorite Halloween treats. And if you’re feeling industrious, name your five least favorites, as well. Or just go rogue and ramble about Halloween candy in general.

Personally, I’m of the belief that individually-wrapped, snack-sized candy bars are the only way to go. Anything less, and I’m going to torch your house while you’re asleep. Don’t gimme no fucking hard candy, either. Shove those nickels up your ass. And if you’re handing out apples, I hope they have razor blades in them, so that they cut you when I smash them into your eye orb. That’s a trick, motherfuckers.

At my house, we’re handing out the full-size candy bars. Costco, bitches. That’s how you win the hearts of the neighborhood kiddies.

What about y’all?

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The Best Halloween Treats

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles

Comment Diversions | October 31, 2008 | Comments ()




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