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The 10 Films People Most Lie About Seeing: What Classic Movie Have You Pretended to See?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Comment Diversions | Comments (96)

goodfellas-new.jpg

I’m frequently embarrassed, as someone who purports to be a “film critic,” when someone asks me if I’ve seen a particular classic movie and I have to own up to not having seen it yet. You know, I’d never seen The Sting until last week, and I have no idea how I managed to live so long and without having seen that. That’s a criminal omission, as is Blade Runner, the movie I’ve been planning to see for 20 years but just never get around to doing so. I will. It’s next on my list (granted, it’s been next on my list for the better part of the last decade).

Anyway, I don’t actually lie about having seen classics because people will inevitably want an opinion, and the only thing more embarrassing for a “film critic” than not having seen a particular classic is getting caught lying about seeing a classic. Critics have been fired for lesser offenses.

But I’m sure many of you have lied about seeing a classic. And LOVEFiLM, a British rental service also responsible for the list of the Ten Most Paused Movie Moments, conducted a poll of its subscribers to learn which movies they lied most often about seeing. The top ten is below, and why would you like about seeing Goodfellas? Come on, just watch it.

You’re all free in the comments to own up to your own lies.


1. The Godfather (30 percent)
2. Casablanca (13 percent)
3. Taxi Driver (11 percent)
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey (9 percent)
5. Reservoir Dogs (8 percent)
6. This Is Spinal Tap (7 percent)
7. Apocalypse Now (6 percent)
8. Goodfellas (5 percent)
8. Blade Runner (5 percent)
10. The Great Escape (4 percent)

(Via Slashfilm)









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Comments

I got 9/10, I have not seen the Great Escape, but I haven't lied about seeing it.

I would say Network, I've said I've watched that movie but I've only seen the first 15 min.

Posted by: Melody Be at April 25, 2011 3:28 PM

Citizen Kane . I know the punchline so it's easy to get away with lying about seeing it, and it is precisely because I know the ending that I can't bring myself to actually watch it. It's not like I lie on the reg about it-it's more like someone references it and I nod like I know what they're talking about.

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at April 25, 2011 3:30 PM

The only one I haven't seen is The Great Escape, but I did watch the scene where Bullit jumps over the fence on his motorbike. It wasn't that great.

I did lie about seeing it once, I basically used what I gleaned from that one scene to opine on its merits. Though, that time I claimed to have "liked it well enough."

I've also never seen The Money Pit all the way through, but I lie about that movie all the time. Going with, "I hate it." Because, from what I've seen, I really, really would.

Posted by: RobP at April 25, 2011 3:32 PM

I lied about seeing the Big Lebowski for years -- well, not lied, but just sort of smiled and nodded when others talked about it as if I'd seen it. I finally got around to seeing it this past year, and it was awesome. The Dude Abides.

I've seen all the listed ones except Taxi Driver and Reservoir Dogs, and I don't believe I've ever lied about those.

Posted by: linny at April 25, 2011 3:33 PM

Fine! I've never seen Showgirls. I hope you're happy now, DUSTY!

::runs off sobbing::

Posted by: branded at April 25, 2011 3:33 PM

@BalladofMaxwellDemon: Allow me to be the first of many who will chime in and say, You should really give Citizen Kane a chance. I knew the ending beforehand (thanks, The Simpsons!), but I still love that movie. It's not about the answer, it's about what happens along the way.

That last sentence also applies to you Lost haterz.

Posted by: RobP at April 25, 2011 3:34 PM

1. The Godfather (30 percent) - Seen it numerous times, but didn't read it until recently.

2. Casablanca (13 percent) - I've only seen it once. Unfortunately I only seem to encounter it so late at night that I fall asleep :(

3. Taxi Driver (11 percent) - I finally watched it, unedited, recently.

4. 2001: A Space Odyssey (9 percent) - I first watched it when I was far too young to comprehend ANY of it. I do watch it about once a year.

5. Reservoir Dogs (8 percent) - Seen it. Not recently.

6. This Is Spinal Tap (7 percent) - Seen it, but didn't really pay attention. I latched on to some of the more memorable parts.

7. Apocalypse Now (6 percent) - Seen it, including the uncut version.

8. Goodfellas (5 percent) - Seen it too many times. It was watched too frequently in my house when I was in high school.

8. Blade Runner (5 percent) - Seen it.

10. The Great Escape (4 percent) - Seen it. Mildly surprised it made this list.

If anything I'd say Casablanca is the weak point for me. I've never paid careful attention to it and cannot really discuss it intelligently.

Posted by: lubeg at April 25, 2011 3:34 PM

The Godfather. Yep, it's my dirty little film buff secret. And for no good reason. I just never got around to it.

Posted by: Nimue at April 25, 2011 3:38 PM

9.5; I actually wasn't able to sit through Blade Runner, just gave up on it.

Posted by: Gary at April 25, 2011 3:39 PM

Say, I've seen all the listed movies. I did fall asleep, passed out, whatever--during Schindler's List. Haven't watched again, but don't lie about it either.

Posted by: DenG at April 25, 2011 3:40 PM

Have not seen #s 5, 8 & 10 but have not lied about wanting to see them.

Posted by: NeoCleo at April 25, 2011 3:44 PM

My proficiency is at 50% from the above list. But I've also never seen: The Princess Bride, The Wizard of Oz, Mary Poppins, Citizen Kane, Lawrence Of Arabia, Singin' In The Rain, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, ET, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington...

I think I'll stop there before I get banned from Pajiba.

Posted by: Scully at April 25, 2011 3:46 PM

I've seen all but The Great Escape. Apocalypse Now and Bladerunner are two of my favorite films, so I've seen those both dozens of times. But, just once for most of the rest. And while I don't outright lie, I've done the nod and smile when people start discussing Werner Herzog or most of the French New Wave classics. Oh, and I have never made it through The French Connection. My secret shame.

Posted by: hindulovegod at April 25, 2011 3:46 PM

Does it count if I've tried to watch a film multiple times but never been able to get through it?

If so (ducks behind protective fence): Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And I lie about having seen it only when I realize that if I don't the person asking me about it is a true zealot who will force me into a chair to watch his/her DVD copy.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 25, 2011 3:51 PM

Wow, I've seen them all. That's rare. But I certainly don't lie about such things. Feh.

Posted by: Jay at April 25, 2011 3:53 PM

I actually saw all 10 of those. You kids these days.

I have not problem with the old classics, but a lot of the contemporary "must see" movies I have not seen.

Posted by: Max at April 25, 2011 3:54 PM

6/10. I've seen bits of pieces of most, but only Apocalypse Now is the only one I've never seen at all.

Posted by: Fredo at April 25, 2011 3:56 PM

RobP- now that my dark secret is revealed and I am being encouraged to see the movie despite knowing the end, I think I may have to see it. I trust y'all :)

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at April 25, 2011 3:57 PM

I've never seen 3(Taxi Driver) or 10 (The Great Escape). I don't lie about not seeing movies. I'm not vain enough to think anyone cares. DO people care? I've also never seen The Last Temptation of Christ, A Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove (really most Kubrick for that matter) Raging Bull, etc. Hmm, lots of Scorsese and Kubrick. I probably should rectify that one of these days. I've never seen Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name trilogy either, or 99% of all westerns released before 1980. Nor have I seen anything by Kurosawa (fell asleep during Ran) or Takashi Miike. That last I will rectify when "13 Assassins" premieres on HD Net Movies this Wednesday. Set your DVR now kiddies.

Posted by: TylerDFC at April 25, 2011 4:04 PM

I've never seen Raging Bull all the way through and had never seen a second of it until about a year ago. I too have only seen the motorcycle jump from The Great Escape.

The only movie I think I've ever lied about seeing was The Godfather 3. I hadn't seen it and heard it was bad so I just agreed that it was during a discussion of the trilogy. I bought the 3 movie set like 7 years ago and watched it. I'd like to go back to not having seen it now, thank you.

Posted by: Paultera at April 25, 2011 4:05 PM

2001: A Space Odyssey.

Even though I tell people I didn't like it. I have never really seen the entire thing. I can't make it past the first 30 mins.
I've tried twice and I have fallen asleep both times. I shouldn't really have an opinion on it because I haven't seen the whole thing.

Posted by: junierizzle at April 25, 2011 4:07 PM

5/10 (2001, Reservoir Dogs, Spinal Tap, Goodfellas, Blade Runner...I really need to see Casablanca some day)

I'm not sure why someone would out right lie about seeing a movie. It seems like the kind of people who would judge by what you have and haven't seen, would also immediately be able to tell if you've seen it when talking about it. I guess you could pull out the "It was a long time ago" line.

I'll tell people I've seen North by Northwest, but I was really distracted for the first part of the movie. About halfway through I realized it was about the most bad ass old man in existence, and the guy he was portraying was pretty sweet too.

It used to be Braveheart, which for the longest time I had only seen on USA about an hour into it...about 6 times.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 25, 2011 4:09 PM

There are three movies on this list, Blade Runner, This Is Spinal Tap, and Apocalypse Now, that I KNOW I've seen. I'm positive I've sat through each one of those. And yet I remember so little of them that it does feel like a lie to say I've seen them. There are certain movies that just never seem to stay in my head, so I can't ever talk about them without embarrassing myself. The Maltese Falcon is another one. Seen it at least 3 times, couldn't tell you the plot.

Posted by: Cree83 at April 25, 2011 4:13 PM

1. Godfather- many times
2. Casblanca- many times
3. Taxi Driver- at the drive-in when it came out.
4. 2001- I only watch the part with HAL, the rest of it is incomprehensible
5. Reservoir Dogs- Only made it to the ear slicing scene.
6. Spinal Tap- Never saw it, never said I did
7. Apocalypse Now- How can one movie be a masterpiece and a piece of shit at the same time? The part with Brando makes my skin crawl.
8. Goodfellas- Watch it over and over. Ray Liotta should have taken home the big trophy.
9. Blade Runner- Couldn't get through it but if pressed I'd probably lie and say I never saw it instead of saying I didn't like it.
10. The Great Escape- #4 on my 5 all-time favorite movies.I'm humming the soundtrack right now.

Never saw The Sound Of Music, Dr. Strangelove or The Big Lebowski which I'm rather embarrassed about.
I saw Schindler's List once, it was great, and I will never watch it again. Not a feel good movie

Posted by: kirbyjay at April 25, 2011 4:20 PM

I've seen all 10.

(That's a lie)

Posted by: Jeni at April 25, 2011 4:21 PM

I also generally don't explicitly lie in that situation. I just sort of nod my head, smile, and grunt.

I've seen ten out of ten those films, although one of them I have never actually watched from start to finish. Sometimes I have trouble with those online movie checklists because it has been so long since I watched the movie that I am hesitant to claim seeing it.

And if anyone reading this hasn't seen The Godfather or Casablanca, just get on it and get it over with. You might not find them to be the greatest ever, but I can't fathom your being disappointed or not getting some enjoyment out of them.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at April 25, 2011 4:22 PM

The Deer Hunter should be included as well.

I've been formulating some ideas as to why this happens:

The first idea is the "Don Quixote" principle, which states that most people who haven't seen the movie have done so because they feel they have heard the best parts from others who have. Most classics are defined by a certain iconic scene or two, things that travel from person to person by word of mouth. I liken it to Don Quixote because everyone always references the Windmills moment in the book, and that moment occurs in the first 30 pages of so (out of what, 600?) It occurred to me that perhaps no one is actually reading Quixote, just bringing up the windmill metaphor to sound like it.

I had never seen The Deer Hunter, but had heard plenty about the roulette scenes, seen them spoofed, seen clips, and when it came down to actually renting it my logic was always "I know the basic plot, so why bother?" How wrong I was.

The second principle is the "AMC/Fox movie week long repetition." Some channels often choose to show the same movie over and over three or more times, or even, in the case of Shawshank, Gump and Christmas Story, for a day or a week. Any casual TV watcher will flip through the channels, see a snippet of film, then move on. Affter all, who wants to start watching a movie they've never seen in the middle?

Given enough days and passes one can actually see an entire film, albeit in a Memento-esque sort of way, and keep you from actually watching it from start to finish, because you basically know what happens. Or at least you think you do...

Posted by: Some Guy at April 25, 2011 4:27 PM

Gone With the Wind, Titanic(nothing before the dude falls 100 feet and hits the smoke stack and starts spinning in mid-air...which makes me laugh EVERY time), The Godfather 2, Ghandi and prolly a bunch more...not because I don't want to...I just kinda sorta really don't give a shit if I see them or not.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 25, 2011 4:30 PM

I've seen all ten.

I can't think of a movie I've lied about seeing. I do sometimes imply that I've seen more of Battlestar Galactica than I actually have. Because I have a burning need to tell people how much it sucks, but actually sitting through it can be difficult. Because it sucks.

Posted by: Todd at April 25, 2011 4:30 PM

Seen all but 2001, Great Escape, and only the first 30 minutes of Taxi Driver. I never make it past the Cybill Shepherd porn date. I don't know why.

Wouldn't lie about having seen a movie or not, tho. I'd be sure to get busted. Love or hate, I never just nod. My friends, they're onto me.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at April 25, 2011 4:34 PM

I lie about "seeing" the Bourne movies. I've put them on, no doubt. I've been in the room while they play. I have some vague understanding of their plots.

But I've never actually "seen" them. Whether its due to some varied state of inebriation, distractions of a card game, or sheer boredom for their rampant stupidity (that's right, I said it), I can't actually say I've watched them and absorbed them.

From what I can tell the second two movies end with exactly the same scene. You'll forgive me for my disinterest.

Posted by: superasente at April 25, 2011 4:39 PM

It makes my heart happy to see This is Spinal Tap on a list of classics.

"This one goes to 11." You have to read that quote in your head with a British accent.

Posted by: Jadine at April 25, 2011 4:39 PM

I was surprised I've seen 10/10 and actually own half of them....

Posted by: jotthedot at April 25, 2011 4:48 PM

I guess you could pull out the "It was a long time ago" line.

Hey, sometimes it was a long time ago! I rarely watch movies more than once (unless they're particular favorites), and I'm only just now getting to the point where I can legitimately say, "It's been 20 years since I watched that." I'll lay claim to having seen it, but I do sometimes hesitate rating them on my Netflix queue; so many times I've rated a movie highly that I saw in my youth-youth, only to knock it down one or two stars after re-watching so many years later. Plus, (according to Netflix) I've seen over 2500 movies; it can be hard to remember every damn thing.

Also, if a movie can accumulate 3.5 or 4.333 stars, why can't I give half-star ratings, Netflix? My kingdom for a half-star rating system.
/miniofftopicrant

Posted by: RobP at April 25, 2011 5:03 PM

I'm actually not sure if I have seen The Godfather. I know I have seen more than one of the three movies, and I have seen one of them more than once, but I have no clue if I have ever seen the first. So I just say I have seen it, and assume I am not actually lying.

I tell people I have seen 2001, even though I fall asleep every time I watch it, so I don't think I have ever seen the middle chunk. I have even seen it in 70mm and still fell asleep.

I have only seen bits and pieces of Apocalypse Now. Not sure what I own up to, or if it has ever come up.

I actually have never seen Taxi Driver, Reservoir Dogs, Blade Runner, or Great Escape. Never feel the need to lie about them. I was also going to claim Goodfellas, but I realized that was wrong, I have.

Posted by: DominaNefret at April 25, 2011 5:04 PM

Seen em all.

Posted by: John W at April 25, 2011 5:09 PM

I used to do this as a kid (I pretended to have seen and loved Pulp Fiction when I was in middle school), but stopped caring about that kind of stuff in college.

The only ones I haven't seen on this list are Blade Runner & 2001: ASO.

Up until last year, I'd never seen the original Star Wars trilogy and I still haven't seen any of The Matrix movies, or On The Waterfront, Reservoir Dogs, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, A Clockwork Orange and a bunch of others in full.

Posted by: Snrub at April 25, 2011 5:13 PM

Why would you lie about seeing a movie? I don't get it. *shrug* I watch what I want to watch, and if I don't want to watch something, I don't feel any shame in that. I plan to never see Titanic or Avatar. No interest.

1. The Godfather (30 percent) --Seen it.
2. Casablanca (13 percent) --Seen it.
3. Taxi Driver (11 percent) --Seen it.
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey (9 percent) --Have plans to see it.
5. Reservoir Dogs (8 percent) --Haven't, never will. Loathe Tarantino.
6. This Is Spinal Tap (7 percent) --Seen it.
7. Apocalypse Now (6 percent) --Have plans to see it.
8. Goodfellas (5 percent) --Seen it.
8. Blade Runner (5 percent) --Seen it.
10. The Great Escape (4 percent) --Nope. Should I add it to the queue?

Posted by: Samantha at April 25, 2011 5:17 PM

I have never seen the Sound of Music, but I know the hills are alive with the crap.

Posted by: Doreen at April 25, 2011 5:26 PM

Of course nobody has to LIE about seeing Beaches, because everyone has and they all loved it.

snort.

Posted by: beet salad at April 25, 2011 5:32 PM

*Puts on flak jacket*

Ghostbusters II

Posted by: The_wakeful at April 25, 2011 5:32 PM

9/10. i've only seen the first 30 minutes of this is spinal tap. it was hysterical. don't really know why i haven't watched the rest. there are lots of movies i haven't seen but i also don't lie about it

Posted by: splinter at April 25, 2011 5:38 PM

" I did fall asleep, passed out, whatever--during Schindler's List. Haven't watched again, but don't lie about it either."

That's because it's a little boring. I know, I know - blasphemy. I found it ponderous.

I see somebody put "The French Connection" on the list, which was going to be my contribution.

Posted by: samantha t at April 25, 2011 5:41 PM

I've never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies, and it's also nice to see I am not alone in never having seen the Godfather movies. Though I don't tend to lie about it... other people seem to find it an interesting conversation piece, for whatever odd reason.

Posted by: neurotica at April 25, 2011 5:44 PM

Never seen "Taxi Driver," never seen "Reservoir Dogs." Why? Because I'm a coward.

Posted by: Rob at April 25, 2011 5:47 PM

I'm always the other way around; I don't lie about having seen great classics. I lie about having seen pieces of crap just so I can degrade and insult them with impunity.

People ask me if I've seen (for instance)'Little Fockers.' Which I surely never shall. But I've read enough reviews to make people think that I have, so I'm allowed to have an opinion about what a piece of garbage it is.

Posted by: greg at April 25, 2011 5:50 PM

I actually own a copy of that top ten, and yes I've watched them.

1. The Godfather (30 percent) - DVD
2. Casablanca (13 percent) - Laserdisc
3. Taxi Driver (11 percent) - Laserdisc
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey (9 percent) - Laserdisc
5. Reservoir Dogs (8 percent) - DVD
6. This Is Spinal Tap (7 percent) - DVD
7. Apocalypse Now (6 percent) - Laserdisc & DVD
8. Goodfellas (5 percent) - DVD
8. Blade Runner (5 percent) - VHS, Laserdisc & DVD
10. The Great Escape (4 percent) - DVD

Some of the "great" films I've never seen, but should are Pan's Labyrinth, Raging Bull, Schindler's List, It's a Wonderful Life, Annie Hall and I'm sure more that I can't think of right now.

Posted by: Steve at April 25, 2011 5:52 PM

You can't go wrong with:
The Princess Bride- like Shawshank Redemption, I have never met anyone who didn't like this movie. It is also one of the most quotable movies of all time.
Spinal Tap - not only does it go to 11, but you will never be able to look at/think of Stonehenge without laughing. One of the funniest movies of all time.
Citizen Kane - I compare it to Raging Bull in that it does a better job of mapping the main character's psyche than any movie ever made.
On The Waterfront - is my favorite Brando movie. The screenplay won an Oscar and it is probably one of the best pro-union movies ever made. Norma Ray would be the other best union movie.
Schindler's List - I have not watched this movie, but I haven't lied about it. I just can't. I know it is a great movie, but I would cry too much and it would give me nightmares.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest- deserved every Oscar it got.

Thanks to netflix, watching AFI's 100 greatest movies is not as hard as you would think. I am going through the Film Noir movies now and am looking forward to finally seeing the Maltese Falcon and The Thin Man.

Posted by: Melody Be at April 25, 2011 5:55 PM

Of course nobody has to LIE about seeing Beaches, because everyone has and they all loved it.

snort.

Posted by: beet salad at April 25, 2011 5:32 PM

Y'know what we need? We need some kind of weekly/daily show of appreciation for comments like this. Seriously. This is witty. I don't know what it would be exactly, but you people are so eloquent all the time; we need to be able to highlight moments when it's especially apparent. Something to celebrate our...well shit, our eloquence. We just need someone witty and charming to head it up, y'know; someone who just gets it. Someone short. Someone who can bake.

It's too bad we don't have anything like that.



Now Iiiii've...haaaaad...the time of my liiiiiife...
No I never felt like this befooooore...
Yes I sweeeear...it's the truuuuuth...
And I owe it all to youuuuuuu[bitchen drum beat-down]

Posted by: superasente at April 25, 2011 6:01 PM

I have only watched The Godfather in pieces, never the whole movie in one stretch. And I've only watched parts of 2001 with no plans to watch the whole thing.

I'm not a big war movie fan, but The Great Escape is a must-see. If for no reason than to get all the parodies of its most famous scenes.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 25, 2011 6:02 PM

Steve, I've got 6/10 on dvd myself. I don't have The Godfather, but I will one day. Last time I checked, the box set was too expensive. I don't have Casablanca, cause I don't like it. I don't have 2001, again because I don't really like it. And I don't own/haven't seen the Great Escape. I'll see that one eventually, I dig Lee Marvin (Cat Balloo is the best musical western ever!) and Steve McQueen, I just haven't gotten the chance.

Posted by: Melody Be at April 25, 2011 6:05 PM

I've never seen #1,2,3,7,8, or 10 from that list, but I've never lied about it.

I tend to wear my movie viewing blindspots proudly - just the other day I mentioned that I was watching Robocop for the very first time - but I used to pretend that I've seen the Princess Bride. Well, not pretend so much as just play along when people talk about it and nod my head and laugh. But I've never seen the entire movie, just clips of it here and there on tv or the internet, maybe about 10 minutes of it altogether.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at April 25, 2011 6:16 PM

Oh sweet youth. I not only have seen The Godfather, I saw it in the theatre in its original release...8 months pregnant with my first child. What was my overall impression? My back started hurting right around the time they went to the mattresses and all I had from them on was blood on the screen and pain in my seat.

Never lied about seeing a film. But have about reading a book.(I probably saw the film instead.)

Posted by: sittingpat at April 25, 2011 6:26 PM

Of the list, the only the ones I haven't seen are the Great Escape and Casablanca. Certain old-timey movies just haven't made it to my list yet. These also include The Maltese Falcon, Some Like It Hot, and others from that time.

I am far more embarrassed to admit that my list of shame includes Dirty Harry, Scarface, or Do the Right Thing, which are current enough so that I really have no excuse as to why I never got around to them.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at April 25, 2011 6:27 PM

You people should stop lying and bragging and then lying some more. It's just a movie list, not a competition, you nerds.

I've never seen Napoleon Dynamite. Or any of The Godfather films. Boohoo.

Posted by: Jessica at April 25, 2011 6:32 PM

I've seen the other nine but I've only just heard of The Great Escape. That should make some of you feel better.

I've also never seen 12 Angry Men, though I think about watching it a lot so I think that counts. I've invested much more time considering that film than most of you have spent watching it so I feel like I'm the bigger fan.

Posted by: becks at April 25, 2011 6:35 PM

Ghandi, The English Patient, Fiddler On The Roof

Lied about the first one when a snotty, perpetually pig-tailed college classmate, a self-described "superior intellectual" & therefore above us lame, "juvenile" peers, made a snide comment one time about "childish" movies while a few of us were talking about the just-released Iron Man. Instead of the usual groan her stupid comments elicit from everyone, I jumped on it because she pulled out her familiar, tired, conversation- killing 'I'm-an-expert-on-everything' act on a subject I finally had at least heard of before.

I asked what her idea of a mature, 'adult-appropriate' movie was & while rolling her eyes at everyone she haughtily says, "Meaningful, rheeyyallll-life films that enlighten and educate. You probably wouldn't care for historical epics (I swear, she used the word 'epic', not me) like Red Badge of Courage, or Ghandi-"

click

Before everyone stops laughing, I say "you actually sat through four hours of that crap?"

Her: "OOhh- well, apparently a lot of people did, it's an Academy Award winner- (eyes get wide)
"So.. you watched it?"

"Not by choice," I lied, "it was on TNT a few weeks ago when I was seeing my aunt at the hospital. I couldn't change the channel but I couldn't leave either. That Ben King guy? God, what a boring actor!"

[hook]

Her (loud, condescending laugh): "It's not Ben King!! Is that what you call-"

"Alright, calm down, I know it's some British guy-umm- 'Kingsford'! Ben Kingsford, whatever.." (she maintains the shit-eating grin & looks for everyone to laugh along)- "Either way, it's a crap movie & he shouldn't have got an Oscar for it-"

[line]

Her (ecstatic): "Ben Kingsford is a great actor! That shows how little you know.."

and before I can get it out, another guy beats me to it: "Heyy-- Kingsford?? Like the charcoal? That's not right!"

"Yeah, that's not it, mmm- (pause) 'KINGSLEY'! It's 'Kingsley', isn't it- and you called him 'Kingsford'?"

Her: "YOU called him 'Kingsford'!"

"So did YOU! You didn't correct me?!"

[sinker]

Her (really flustered now): "You--whhu-- ummpph..umm--why should I correct- OH, you're a jerk, y' know that??"

"Yeah, I guess- but I'm not stupid enough to sit through four hours of a three-hour movie! Charcoal fumes put you to sleep?" annnd- sketch.

There are a lot of movies out there, but you don't have to watch all of them to remember a couple of details here and there.

The story behind the other two movies isn't worth mentioning.

Posted by: Billy at April 25, 2011 6:49 PM

Yeah, I actually own a goodly number of those as well:

1. The Godfather - betamax (1&2 only), laserdisc (1&2 only), DVD & Blu-Ray
2. Casablanca - nah
3. Taxi Driver - betamax, laserdisc (Criterion 2-disc CAV), DVD, DVD (2-disc), Blu-Ray
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey - betamax, laserdisc (Criterion 3-disc CAV), DVD, remastered DVD, Blu-Ray
5. Reservoir Dogs - laserdisc, DVD, dvd (2-disc remastered), Blu-Ray
6. This Is Spinal Tap - betamax, laserdisc, Criterion 2-disc laserdisc, Criterion DVD, MGM DVD, Blu-Ray
7. Apocalypse Now - betamax, laserdsisc, remastered leterboxed laserdisc, DVD, Redux 2DVD, Blu-Ray box set
8. Goodfellas - laserdisc, DVD, remastered DVD, BluRay
8. Blade Runner - betamax, laserdisc box set, DVD, Blu-Ray 5-disc box set
10. The Great Escape - nah


Christ on a cracker, can I waste money or what? This kinda nonsense better impress girls, I tell you what, or I'm really gonna have to think how I'm living my life.

Posted by: greg at April 25, 2011 6:50 PM

1. The Godfather (30 percent)-Uncle gave me the set on VHS. Watched the first two, found it all boring.

2. Casablanca (13 percent)-Film class in High School, slept through the middle. Boring.

3. Taxi Driver (11 percent)-My movie geek uncle was upset I never saw this movie, showed it to me.

4. 2001: A Space Odyssey (9 percent)-Never seen it.

5. Reservoir Dogs (8 percent)-Saw it and this and Jackie Brown my least liked Tarantino directed movies.

6. This Is Spinal Tap (7 percent)-Never saw it.

7. Apocalypse Now (6 percent)-Film class again.

8. Goodfellas (5 percent)-Nope.

9. Blade Runner (5 percent)-Friends house.

10. The Great Escape (4 percent)-Nope.

Posted by: C. Towns at April 25, 2011 6:52 PM

Note to self: if you ever meet C. Towns, do NOT talk about favorite movies.

Posted by: Lang at April 25, 2011 7:01 PM

Owning movies on laserdisc and bragging about it is also code for "I never get laid". Just saying.

Posted by: Jessica at April 25, 2011 7:23 PM

I'm going to eaten by the Pajibans for this. Office Space. I know there's a scene with a printer, and when I always ALWAYS lie about seeing it, I just reference this and everybody is too busy mimicking every line to notice I don't join in.

I will watch it. I promise. I will.

Posted by: Laurie at April 25, 2011 7:34 PM

whoa- late to the Par-tae! but at least no one will ever know what I am about to confess:

I lie about seeing A Clockwork Orange. It's not on the list, but it ought to be.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at April 25, 2011 7:35 PM

Never seen the Goonies. Always lie about it. People give me way too much shit when they find out I haven't seen it. I don't need that noise.

Posted by: E-Money at April 25, 2011 7:46 PM

I don't believe I have ever lied about seeing a movie.

As a matter of fact, I take great pride in telling people "Hell no, I haven't seen Pretty Woman and you can't make me, bitch". Then people get all huffy and say "Oh, but you HAVE to see it. It's so blahblahblahblahblah". This only succeeds in making me want to see the movie even LESS. I feel like I've lost a battle when someone forces me to watch a movie on my "never watched" list. Like, every time I watch a movie on the list, a puppy dies or something.

But that's just how I roll. I'm a contrarian. As a matter of fact, they should make Contrarian a political party and I'll be your candidate for 2012!

Anywhoodle, I am more likely to have seen a movie and forgotten about it (Casablanca, Citizen Kane, A Passage To India(?)), or found it so boring that I have blocked out pertinent details so that it seems like I never saw the movie and I may as well have not seen it at all.

Did I see Bladerunner? Damned if I remember.

Posted by: greer at April 25, 2011 8:02 PM

Not having seen a classic is one thing, but I think that having seen one and having to admit that you didn't like it is what draws out the daggers. There are certain films that over time have become sacrosanct and not sharing in the concensus of appreciation can make you a bit of a social pariah. 'You don't like so-and-so? What's wrong with you? Clearly you're just being contrary or understand the genius of the work. What I suggest is you submit yourself to another viewing and fall into raptures this time, else your credibility become a total ghost!' I know I've been stuck in that position before, and likely all of you reading have been, too. Some classics that I didn't dig:

Vertigo (I don't think vertigo means what they think it means, unless it's a film about calcium buildup in the eustacian tube flaking off in pieces that bounce against each other, creating the sensation and cured by a visit to a doctor who will drain the stones through a series of repeated head and neck rotations. But that's not the point, one of the points is, 'friends don't let friends Kim Novak'--really, the best thing about her is that she dated Sammy Davis Jr. and her real first name is the same as mine. Although Rick Santorum and I share a birthday, so... The Birds is one of my favourite movies, but this? Maybe it got such a cool initial critical reaction for a reason.

All of that for the sake of Chinatown? Granted, I didn't even dislike it--Huston ran the show, that was some performance-- and obviously too many dedades have dulled the sting of the ending, but if I wanted to see a cut-up dude slap around a woman with a sexually dark, dark history, I'd put any random man from my hometown in a mullet wig, toss him in front of the city hall and watch the inevitable.

Blue Velvet, Casablanca, The Third Man, The Wild Bunch, Dr. Strangelove (save for a few key moments), Say Anything...my enjoyment doesn't work right.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at April 25, 2011 8:06 PM

I wouldn't bother watching The Goonies at this point. I can't imagine an adult enjoying it for any reason other than nostalgia.

"Owning movies on laserdisc and bragging about it is also code for "I never get laid". Just saying.

Posted by: Jessica at April 25, 2011 7:23 PM"

Statements like this are code for " I'm passing some time on the internet while my boyfriend, who told me he's watching a game at his buddy's place, is actually parked three blocks away at a closed post office, listening to Rush and cherishing his five hours away from me."

Maybe we should hang out, Jess! Seeing as how we're both such kick-ass code breakers!

Posted by: becks at April 25, 2011 8:13 PM

Like Max, I've seen all those films but often can't be bothered to see newer must-sees (like Avatar, for example-- I just couldn't muster the interest).

I do wonder now if people ever think I'm lying when I talk what I've seen and not seen.

Posted by: potentialliar at April 25, 2011 8:37 PM

I've "seen" them all. I must admit though that I missed large parts of 2001 due to it putting me to sleep every time.

Posted by: mechadave at April 25, 2011 8:45 PM

Never seen Blade Runner?

You ARE scum, sir.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 25, 2011 8:48 PM

Never seen Blade Runner?

You ARE scum, sir.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 25, 2011 8:48 PM

Wait. Did you - ? Did you just call me SIR? You can call me scum if you want. I'd be disappointed if you didn't. But don't call me sir, as I am of the female persuasion. I don't make assumptions about your sexual identity because I know you don't like talking about the reasignment surgery.

Good day, Sir or Madame!

Posted by: greer at April 25, 2011 9:31 PM

I've only lied about Apocalypse Now, but it was because I really didn't want to watch it so I said I'd seen it already.

Posted by: NoDice at April 25, 2011 9:34 PM

It's not on that list, but a classic movie I haven't watched is The Wizard of Oz. And I ended up wishing that I had lied about seeing it every time I admitted that I hadn't, because the astonishment I endured was overwhelming.

Apparently, you are not fully human if you haven't seen the thing.

Strife,
replicant

Posted by: strife at April 25, 2011 10:03 PM

Apocalypse Now. I watched some of it? I think? Maybe it was a couple of clips. Then I read a summary somewhere.

Also Goodfellas.

Posted by: Figgy at April 25, 2011 10:08 PM

All y'all that haven't seen The Great Escape should've lied and said you did because NOW YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.

Posted by: dr. pisaster at April 25, 2011 10:15 PM

I have seen all of those except The Great Escape too, and have also never lied about it.

I don't think I've ever knowingly lied about seeing a movie I hadn't, but I have upon occasion confused titles or seen so many clips of/read so much about a movie that I thought I had seen it and then it turned out I hadn't (Annie Hall). Awkward!

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 25, 2011 10:30 PM

DAMMIT. And now I'm dead to Dr. Pis. This is why we *refresh* before we *post*!

Talk about awkward.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 25, 2011 10:31 PM

Oh! OK, so it's possible that occasionally I have said I saw something, but really, it was just kind of on the teevee in the background while I was doing other stuff and not really paying attention, so I still haven't actually *seen it* seen it. But I do usually clarify that with pretty much that exact wording.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 25, 2011 10:35 PM

Some of my all-time favorites are on that list!

I haven't seen Taxi Driver or The Great Escape, but I've never lied about them, either.

People need to get ON 2001 and Spinal Tap. The Godfather goes without saying. Fucking excellent.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at April 25, 2011 11:02 PM

I do that too, Anna von Beav, and it's true for a couple on this list. Usually when I finally give something my full attention I regret not just doing it in the first place. I should stop trying to multi-task when I watch movies.

RobP, What if you hated the journey and only watched Lost because you had time to kill leading up to the final season? Everyone made such a big deal about it I wanted to see what I was missing. I really regret that decision after that terrible ending.

Posted by: Uda at April 25, 2011 11:07 PM

Everyone who said they fell asleep during 2001 can go light themselves on fire.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at April 25, 2011 11:08 PM

I have not seen Apocalypse Now, although as a be-hormoned teenager I did watch a sliver of it once to see the Harrison Ford bit. I didn't read Heart of Darkness when I was supposed to either. I do not feel the need to lie about it. It's not like I have a movie site and haven't seen Lawrence of Arabia. That would be a shandeh.

As a rule, I avoid movies about the war in Viet Nam (or by Oliver Stone because I get tired of being hit in the head with the two by four). I have seen The Deer Hunter so I think I've got it covered.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 25, 2011 11:12 PM

I've seen all of the movies on the list, so I used all of the movies listed so far in the thread.

I know I haven't seen: Network, any Kurosawa films, Little Fockers, Pan's Labyrinth, The Third Man and Titanic.

The "It was a long time ago" comment is very significant for me. I absolutely know I have seen The Sound of Music, Deer Hunter, The Maltese Falcon, Fiddler on the Roof and Red Badge of Courage, but for the life of me I can can't remember more than a detail or two.

I also have movies that I can't remember if I have seen them or not. I can only remember a few details (about as much as the ones above), but I can't remember watching them. On the Waterfront, A Passage to India, The English Patient, , Vertigo and North by Northwest

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at April 25, 2011 11:44 PM

I've seen 9 1/2 of those. I confess I fell asleep like three times during "Apocalypse Now."

Posted by: , at April 25, 2011 11:44 PM

How about this instead: classic movies people go out of their way NOT to watch? Mine is Miracle on 34th Street. (That's the one with Jimmy Stewart and an angel gets its wings every time someone gets laid, right?)

BTDubs, I've seen all the movies on the list, so...huh, no one cares, do they? I'm talking to an empty room, aren't I?

Posted by: Ray Ray at April 26, 2011 1:05 AM

Of the films listed and the ones added by commentors, the only one I haven't seen is Casablanca. I've never felt the need to lie about seeing a film and I don't understand why anyone would.

On a related note, I saw Treasure of the Sierra Madre for the first time a couple weeks ago.

Posted by: Protoguy at April 26, 2011 4:53 AM

Ray Ray,

That movie is It's a Wonderful Life. Also, it's awesome, but if you aren't into feeling good about yourself then I guess that's your prerogative.

Miracle on 34th Street is the one with the guy who may or may not actually be Santa Claus. Admittedly I've only seen the remake, but if you want to skip this one, I doubt you'll feel much regret.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 26, 2011 9:28 AM

Can you count seeing "Schindler" if you were making out with your girlfriend in the theater the whole time?

Because I do. Absolutely true story.*
---
Posted by: Some Guy at April 25, 2011 4:27 PM

Coincidentally, I read about half of "Don Quixote" and gave up. But I don't lie about it. I tell people I couldn't deal with another 300 pages of it.

*--Possibly I only saw this on some TV show.

Posted by: , at April 26, 2011 10:28 AM

Dustin, more important than getting around to watching Blade Runner is which version of the film you'll be getting around to watch.


1. The Godfather (30 percent) - Seen it.
2. Casablanca (13 percent) - Seen it.
3. Taxi Driver (11 percent) - Seen it.
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey (9 percent) - Seen it.
5. Reservoir Dogs (8 percent) - Seen it.
6. This Is Spinal Tap (7 percent) - Not seen it all.
7. Apocalypse Now (6 percent) - Seen it.
8. Goodfellas (5 percent) - Seen it.
8. Blade Runner (5 percent) - Seen it.
10. The Great Escape (4 percent) - Never watched.

Posted by: csb at April 26, 2011 10:31 AM

Seen and liked everything on the list except Reservoir Dogs, haven't seen it.

If you dont like Casablanca I'm sorry to tell you that you have no soul.

Posted by: logan at April 26, 2011 10:53 AM

I think I may have lied about seeing This Is Spinal Tap in high school. I have since seen it.

I wouldn't lie about these things anymore though. I'm not afraid to admit I've never seen The Great Esccape, Casablanca, 2001, or Apocalypse Now. I've also tried to watch Raging Bull and couldn't get trough it. Sorry.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at April 26, 2011 11:30 AM

I always lie about having seen Citizen Kane because of that Simpsons episode

and Lee Marvin was NOT in The Great Escape. The Americans were James Garner, Steve McQueen and James Coburn playing an Australian. Just sayin...

Posted by: solamente at April 26, 2011 12:30 PM

Forrest Gump. My best friend LERVES that movie and I have never told her I haven't seen it because it looked dumb.

My two cents re: Citizen Kane-if you can see this in an actual theater (like at a film revival) you will not be sorry. Cinematography is remarkable-you'll notice so many shots that are in EVERY film today that hadn't been done before Kane. Plus the story is good too-it's a very modern-feeling film, even though it is 70+ years old.

And I agree that if you haven't seen and loved Casablanca you have no soul. See it for Claude Raines scene-stealing performance if you don't care about the romance.

Posted by: lil_a at April 26, 2011 12:44 PM

"Someone has shot Major Strasser. Round up the usual suspects."

Posted by: solamente at April 26, 2011 1:03 PM

ET

never seen it.. never lied about it.

Posted by: kikz at April 26, 2011 3:43 PM

Even though I love said movie, one really doesn't NEED to see The Great Escape. Just watch Eddie Izzard's nonsensical take on it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YExetXLMPQY

Posted by: piedlourde at April 29, 2011 7:31 PM