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The 10 Attractions I Most Want To See At The Proposed Hunger Games Theme Park

By Joanna Robinson | Comment Diversions | November 8, 2013 | Comments ()


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OMG, you guys! Lionsgate, the studio behind the amaaaaaaazing Hunger Games movies, wants to open up a Hunger Games theme park! OMG! You could, like, live inside The Arena 24/7! How bonkers amazing would that be?! Now, like, I’m not smart like the movie studio peeps or the like those crazy cool game makers in the books but these are just a few ideas I had. Wait! LOL! Wait! What if they set up cameras so we could watch from home!?!? That would be soooooooo fun, you guys! Okay so anyway, here are my like totes cool ideas for attractions. What do you think?

The Tower Of Tracker Jackers!
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The Poisonous Flower and Tea Garden!
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Big Blood Rain Mountain!
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Jabberjay Jamboree!
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Electric Storm Zone!
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Nightlock Bar & Grill!
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Saltwater Tsunami Tslide!
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Muttation Melee!
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Carnivorous Bug House!
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Rue’s Rowdy Karaoke Hour!
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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • BuffyloGal

    Only if visitors are allowed to dress as Japanese schoolchildren and go all Royale on the place!

  • bastich

    (don't say jennifer lawrence realdoll ride don't say jennifer lawrence realdoll ride)

    11. Jennifer Lawrence Realdoll Ride?

    (DAMMIT!!!)

  • Berry

    It's official: I hate everything today. Luckily, it's not too early to start drinking where I am. Bottoms up!

  • Robert

    Let's see. District 1 is the shopping center. District 2 is security/carriage rental/first aid. District 3 is the animatronic dark rides. District 4 is the water park. District 5 has the ferris wheel, carousel, and any other large light up attractions in it. District 6 is the loading dock for the train that goes around the park. District 7 has the log flume, a Dollywood-style rollercoaster built on the side of a mountain, and butts up against District 4. District 8 is the cash grab Katniss dress up/facepainting area and secondary shopping center. District 9 is the food court. District 10 is the floor show performed every 30 minutes (cattle calls to cast the show, naturally). District 11 is the slides and ropes course for the little ones. And District 12 has the mine cart roller coaster and tertiary shopping center. The Capital is the opening strip of the park that branches off into the rest of the themed districts.

  • I thought District 9 would be the alien-themed shanty town area.

  • Naye

    It sounds nice. Really a good idea. If the entire series wasn't themed on oppression and child murder.

  • Robert

    Oh, I know. You just have to laugh at the rapid commercialization of the series so that it doesn't hurt your brain as much.

  • Naye

    Lol that sarcasm was for Lionsgate. You were just proxy

  • Erin S

    You forgot district 13, the secret underground haunted house.

  • Jamie Dello Stritto

    SPOILER ALERT!!!!! GAH!
    (Do I have to throw in a winky or something for you to know I'm kidding?)
    ;-)

  • Robert

    I was thinking District 13 as the employee's only area. You can see it on the map but it's blocked off with high fences. No employee is allowed to step out of character until they cross through the gates to controlled freedom.

  • TheFatling

    Downvote all you want, but I am going to that place on opening day. All cool people meet at The Hob!

  • Sarah Weissman

    !!!! Did anybody get the anti-greed message of the story? I know it's a franchise like anything else, but this is ridiculous.

  • This is some seriously warped shit. SAY NO TO THE MONEY, SUZANNE COLLINS!

  • emmalita

    At this point does she own those rights? Or did she sign them away when she sold the movie rights?

  • Naye

    For all our budding sociopaths

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