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Rom-Com Revisited

By Tater Barley Banks | Posted Under Comment Diversions | Comments (72)

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I enjoyed the hell out of Prisco’s post of not long ago, “What do you want out of a rom-com?” I, too, decry the tired tropes and plotlines of movies like … well, they know who they are.

And then a day or two later this story showed up in the sports section of my newspaper.

It was about two college-age people who grew up in Italy (an exotic locale!). They became world-class target shooters (the quirky job!). They knew of each other and didn’t like each other (80 minutes of I-can’t-stand-you-and-neither-can-I!). She grew up near the Austrian border and spoke largely German, he spoke mostly Italian (the contrived barrier!). Because they didn’t speak to each other much, each thought the other was arrogant (the Big Misunderstanding!). They both end up at the same American university that happens to have an NCAA-championship-level rifle program (the meet-cute!). He helps her find her way around the admissions process, and they become friends (the last 10 minutes!).

Are you gagging yet?

The only thing they have to do is fall in love and wind up competing for the same goal — NCAA championship, Olympic team, fuck-all — and presto! Rom.com gold. I see them reaching the finals and each deliberately missing shot after shot so the other can win …

I told all this to a colleague at work and she said, “Call it ‘Shot Through the Heart.’ “

There you are. True story, just needs a little finish, and I even gave you the title. You crank out the script and find two attractive leads and you’ve hit the fucking rom-com jackpot, and everyone at Pajiba (including me) will loathe it because it follows every fucking rom com convention there is. (You’ll also owe me 5% of the $100 pajillion it will make you.)

It made me think that perhaps the problem with decrying the rom-com tropes is that every day real people, real ATTRACTIVE people (if I may flatter myself), with real quirky jobs meet real cute and overcome real contrived obstacles and misunderstandings and fall in real love and get real married, while we complain that “real” people aren’t represented in rom-coms.

Here’s another example, and if you remember that I’ve told this story before just shut the fuck up and fill in the tropes as you go along:

I met the future Mrs. Tater at a Christmas party she didn’t want to go to but her mother made her, because it was her cousin’s party. Her cousin’s two sisters also attended. I was there with several miscreants and ne’re-do-wells of my acquaintance (I was considered to be one myself by the co-host of the party, who warned the future Mrs. Tater not to associate with me; the other co-host was a co-worker, a jolly fat fellow who liked to drink and carry on) who spent most of this party groping the two sisters. This pissed off Co-Host 1 to the point where she sat down on a chair in the middle of her own party and read a book. I hit on the future Mrs. Tater, who denies to this day that she pulled my hand to her breast and made me grope her, sort of a hate grope for Co-Host 1 who was acting so petulant, and of course the future Mrs. Tater didn’t want to be there in the first place. Long story short, I asked the future Mrs. Tater for her phone number and she gave it to me as a challenge, figuring I would never call her (because I was the Bad Boy). I accepted her challenge and called her, and we started dating.

She worked at a AAA (the Triptik people) and I was a one-man sports department at a tiny newspaper. Our “dates” sometimes were me taking her to basketball games and wrestling matches I was covering. I’d get her in free by telling the ticket-taker she was my photographer.

Married 28 years, motherfucker. Write THAT script, every word is fucking true, and it’s rom-com trope after trope after trope. I think we hit them all.

So maybe the rom-com formula succeeds so well because THAT’S HOW MOST PEOPLE HOOK UP, and the audience recognize themselves as people who just wound up with their S.O. through pure fucking stupid accident. Maybe it succeeds not because it isn’t true but because it IS.

I’m betting I’m right. I bet a lot, maybe even most, of Pajibans’ hookups came right out of the rom-com playbook of quirky jobs, meet-cutes, contrived barriers, hate/love and all the rest. I’m betting heavily.

Tell me I’m right.

Don’t let me down.

To suggest a diversion idea or leave Tater a fan letter, you can reach him by email.










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Comments

I met the fiancee at work. I was training him to work in a call center. I also had run out of my meds for insomnia and had not slept more than a few hours a night for about 3 weeks. I can't imagine that I was at all pleasant to be around, but somehow he decided to ask me out. I still don't know if that should be considered bravery or stupidity, which could be the name of a game show or a rom com about our life together.

Posted by: Maria at February 5, 2011 3:07 PM

I was a student forced to take chemistry during fall semester. He was a TA leading the (non-mandatory) discussion group for the class. I thought he was stupid and a bit boring so I hardly ever attended. Towards the end of the semester something clicked and I suddenly found him really attractive. I still never talked to him. After the semester ended, I moved to a different neighborhood and ended up moving into the house next to his. He recognized me from class and we became friends and then more than friends.

Posted by: Alicia at February 5, 2011 3:16 PM

RomCom = Hugh Grant plus any decent looking actress. Period.

Posted by: James S at February 5, 2011 3:19 PM

I was officiating a middle-school football game. At halftime, I huddled with my fellow refs in the end zone to review our performance. Someone yells the name of one of the other guys. It turns out to be a girl with whom I went to high school. We said hello, she introduced her friend, and that friend is now the lovely and talented Ms. Stick. Bonus points: She absolutely did not want to go to the game and would have stayed home if our mutual acquaintance hadn't forcibly pushed her out of the door.

Posted by: apocalipstick at February 5, 2011 3:39 PM

I went out to a bar with some neighbors, which I rarely did and bumped into a guy I sort of knew and we wound up talking, then kissing, then I went home the next day and told my roommate that I'd met the man I was going to marry, which I did, four years later. AND, for another awesome trope, I met him the day before the birthday of my recent ex, who was still trying to get us back together and whom I had visited that fateful day.,

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at February 5, 2011 3:48 PM

I haven't seen No Strings Attached (for obvious reasons) but I am pretty sure it follows a very similar trajectory to my own love life. My significant other and I started out as friends, who made the seemingly poor choice to start hooking up, had a falling out and stopped talking and then through a big romantic gesture got back together and have been happy every since. It's disgusting, I know.

Posted by: Jordan at February 5, 2011 4:03 PM

I have been working at a marina for about 9 years now. About 4 years ago we hired a technician that I will call J. About a year after J started working for us his wife of 18 years was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). Unfortunately, she passed away 2 years after her diagnosis. A few days after she died we had gotten paid and he called in and asked if I would mind dropping his pay cheque off to him that evening after I got home. I took his cheque over to him and wound up sitting and having a couple of beers with him. J needed to talk and just have someone listen. When I left later that night I felt something I couldn't quite pinpoint. I worked with this man for about 3 years at that point and had watched him go through this terrible thing with his wife and look after her, he never put her in hospice care. He did everything for her. I realized not long after her funeral and he had come back to work that I wanted him. I mean, why wouldn't I? I'd seen how he doted on her and cared for her right to the end. Having never been in a situation like this before I wasn't sure what to do, how do I let him know? What is the appropriate amount of time to wait in a situation like this? I soon realized that there really weren't any right answers to those questions. After about 4 months I made up an excuse to drop by his place and have a beer. I wanted to see if he was feeling anything or if it was all in my mind. We were just sitting there talking and he just stood up and walked over to me and kissed me. We've been together ever since. He really is my best friend and I love him more than I ever thought would be possible.

Posted by: Jadine at February 5, 2011 4:20 PM

I met my ex boyfriend in the pouring rain and said no to him 4 times as we both got drenched. He had been under an awning and stepped out to prove that by getting soaked, he really was interested in going out with me. Come to find out he was a waiting transplant recipient- we ended up having a whirlwind relationship. So yes, sometimes the RomComs or RomDrams get it right.

Posted by: cj at February 5, 2011 4:21 PM

I guess I should add the end to the story- he left me for a 22 year old who reads Twilight.

Posted by: cj at February 5, 2011 4:30 PM

Cj's story has inspired me. I want to make a documentary about the myriad ways that twilight has ruined the lives of perfectly adequate individuals that wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I've heard so many stories that end in Twilight ruined my life. We can stop this monster.

Posted by: Blank at February 5, 2011 4:37 PM

TheMaskedEmu and I have a similar long list of tropes that led us to where we are. So they do totally come from somewhere!

Posted by: KatSings at February 5, 2011 4:38 PM

Ah, so there is still hope? Hmmmm ... Now, Voyager, but with an unmarried Paul Henreid, now that I wouldn't mind at all.

Posted by: capitainejanvier at February 5, 2011 4:41 PM

I met my husband at work, and the first thing he said to me was "Hey, could you be nice to my girlfriend? Nobody likes her." He wasn't kidding, that woman was a bitch.

After a while, he and I became friends and I saw first hand that the girlfriend was really mean to him. They eventually broke up, and she spent a lot of time doing that thing where she made sure she was always in his line of sight with another guy, so I decided to help him out and pretend we had started dating almost the second they broke up and that he hadn't spent any time missing her. It worked, because it pissed her off that he wasn't sitting around pining for her. He and I ended up together and got married 4 years later.

Can't get much more cliche than that!

Posted by: ZombieNurse at February 5, 2011 4:54 PM

I met my husband at work. Unoriginal, I know. We started to talk because I said (to everyone in a meeting): "who drives the car with the license plate URS ##" (Urs is a nickname) and it was my husbands car. So, I guess the DMV deemed us appropriate for each other? Quirky? Not so much. But it is a little cute.

Posted by: Ursula aka Scully at February 5, 2011 5:23 PM

First week of college, my roommate and I were eating lunch and she asked what my type was. I looked around the caf, then pointed to Dr. Squish. We spent our meal checking him out, then promptly forgot about him. A few weeks later, I dropped by to invite another guy I was crushing on to my room for Chinese takeout. He had friends over, one of whom was Dr. Squish, and everyone came over. A couple of days later he asked me out. 3 weeks later, I broke up with him because it was getting too serious, but we stayed friends. Then, over Xmas break he started sending me these amazing funny emails. When we got back to school, he brought me a bottle of Xmas day snow from his front yard (I'm from TX and had never seen snow). I was hooked, but he had a new girlfriend. I let him know that I was available again, and after one tense night of talking, new girlfriend was gone and we were back together. 15 years and 2 kids later and I can't imagine life without him. He still teases me that he has a breakup in the bank.

Posted by: McSquish at February 5, 2011 5:33 PM

We met in pre-school. At age three. Then we went our separate ways for elementary and middle schools, and became reacquainted when I moved and entered his high school. He asked me out freshman year, I said no, he teased me in classes, we dated other people... Then senior year something clicked and we started dating. After a long-distance first year of college, he transferred to my school and we got an apartment. AND we got engaged at age 19 when everyone thought we were too young and it'd never last. But we've been inseparable ever since - 10 years of togetherness and 5 years of marriage later!

It would require a little smoothing over, but I think it's saccharine and gag-inducing enough for a rom-com.

Posted by: Ariel at February 5, 2011 5:49 PM

I met The Husband at a bar/club/whatever. I gave him my number and waited for a call that never came. A week or two later, we were at the same club at the same time and he found me at the bar. He had lost my number and really wanted it again. This time I gave him my number on a dollar bill because "you won't lose this!".

I think we had our first date a week or so later. I put out that first night and we've been together ever since, without some odd misunderstanding, hate turning to love, or finding out that he actually had been given the heart of a monkey or someone I'd loved before. We'll be married five years in June and together 11 years in May.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 5, 2011 6:01 PM

I met the serious boyfriend on eHarmony. I thought he was cute and decided to message him. And then I saw another profile that was Mr. Perfect. Yet I continued talking to Serious Boyfriend because I felt bad, and he was nice.

Things with Mr. Perfect never materialized, and a few months later I met Serious Boyfriend. It was a great date...and then he dropped off the face of the earth. Fine, no big deal. Until a few months later when he popped back up to say he'd been out of the country on some kind of covert op. He wanted to see me again, THAT NIGHT, before he left again.

I told him if he wanted to drive 1.5+ hours to where I was now living, I'd go out with him. He came. And we've been dating ever since.

Posted by: Lexie at February 5, 2011 6:09 PM

can't speak for myself but my parents have had something of a cinematic relationship, starting with quite the meet-cute in college. my mom was in the psych building waiting to see a professor and my dad rolled out of the elevator all grumpy and disheveled, as he was wont to be in those days. it was the late 60's, he was a dylan fan. he asked her where some room was. she didn't know and he walked off in a huff; she thought he was a total jerk. later she found out he lived in her building, they became friends and started dating.

BUT THEN. she finds out he has a fiancee at home he hasn't broken up with. she ends things with him before winter break and almost drops out of college. heartbreak. devastation. but her parents convince her to return to school. so he breaks up with the fiancee and over the next couple years he wins back my mom's trust. they party together, study together, eventually move in together. they make the same friends. they start to form a life together. they fall in love.

cut to: senior year, they live in a shitty student-housing slum somewhere off-campus. they're super poor. think... love story, except without the extremely vague and melodramatic terminal illness. they own a german shepherd named shives and multiple cats. they graduate, my mom gets her masters in education and my dad becomes a philosophy graduate student. she subs at local high schools, he works night as a security guard, bringing the shepherd with him. they remain absurdly poor. they eat a lot of pasta and organ meat.

they marry, despite opposition from both parents. my mom is an irish catholic from a small town in jersey and the oldest of 9, and her parents are convinced her children will burn in hell if she raises them jewish. my dad, an only child from divorced jewish brooklynites, has a stubborn, snobbish mother who never fully trusts the shiksa who steals her son away. they raise their children to be atheists.

right before my dad's about to get his phd in philosophy, he switches to law. why? he doesn't want to write a thesis. they continue being poor, and move around as my dad gets various clerkships. eventually they starting having babies. they move back to my mom's hometown where they buy an old house from the 30's that they spend a couple decades fixing up. my brothers and i grow up to be normal, more or less. we have a family dog, a neurotic beagle we call lady. we're not perfect by any means, but we're a pretty closely knit family. i (the baby) graduate from college. my parents sell the house and move to new york city, the home my dad has always wanted to return to. my dad, sick of years of law firm politics, starts his own small firm with the few loyal clients he's acquired over the years; my mom works as his secretary/accountant. they adopt a meek and well tempered sheltie named jack. my dad dotes on him, calling him the prince of yorkville. that's all.

i don't know if it would be the most exciting movie ever made, but i still think it's a pretty great story. i've lurked on here for years and barely ever comment, but i like thinking that my parent's story has been recorded somewhere on the internet for posterity, so thanks for that.

oh, and they married in september of '76. thirty five years and counting, yo.

Posted by: e at February 5, 2011 6:10 PM

I got you all beat. I met the future Mrs. Ralphie in the church choir. No kidding! I was in my mid-thirties, she was in her mid-twenties, we hung out with the same theater crowds, just at different times, so we never met until her friends told her there was this guy in the church choir she just had to meet!

We've been married 26 years last December.

One more thing, we got married on my birthday!

Is that a trope? I haven't seen it yet, but I think it's rom-com gold.

There's more to the story, but that's for another day.

-Ralphie

Posted by: Ralphie at February 5, 2011 6:12 PM

I think I've told this story before, but since it's a lazy Saturday and I have nothing better to do...

I met MrFig in an internet chatroom in 2004. A chatroom for fans of The Lord of the Rings. The book, mind you. Another online friend (whom I had met in the same chatroom) had let me into this other chatroom where MrFig was, and we started talking. We were friends for about two years, and things got really flirty and cheesy in late 05. Then we decided to meet in 2006 in San Francisco, where a bunch of people from the chatroom were supposed to meet up. It didn't work out, because I had no visa to travel to the US at the time. So I got my visa eventually and we decided to meet in NYC for, shortly after Christmas. Our excuse was to meet up with some other friends who lived there. Which was true. But it was really just to meet each other.

We met on December 28th, outside a giant office building in Manhattan. We clicked immediately, and then we spent the most amazing three days together. Our first kiss was New Year's Eve. I had to get back home a couple of days later. We chatted and Skyped every single day, then I went off to visit him in Dallas in the Spring.

The next time I visited, in the summer, he proposed and I said yes, though we didn't tell our families until that December. After that there followed the horrible, soul-crushing attempts for me to get a visa to move to the US . It took us almost a year, when it should have taken six months, but it finally happened in December of 09. We got married in his parents' back yard, and it was beautiful. We just celebrated our first anniversary.

So, there you go. From a geeky chatroom to a year and a month of marriage. We're really a modern-age rom com (mixed in with little fun cultural clashes AND immigration issues!). I'm getting all misty-eyed here. Damn you, ,!

Posted by: Figgy at February 5, 2011 6:55 PM

I feel like we are starting to have a misconception of what a rom com entails. It's not just a comedy that has a romantic story line (which really, anything to do with love and relationships is really actually quite hilarious.) The word rom com also suggest cliches on romance, a happy ending (with no look into the future on a couple's problems) and there needs to be some sort of long speech made in public because... in movies, no one knows it's love until that happens, right??

So by that, I don't consider Tater's story a rom com. I don't even consider those rifle-shooting college students story a rom com. ZombieNurse's story could be made into a rom com but I think we need to throw in some contrived conflict so that there some stupid, unnecessary misunderstanding.

Look, what I'm trying to say is that the reason why most rom coms exist is because writers of these things refuse to just let the story unfold. It must have some conflict and it must have some over-inflated happy ending. So they reduce a script to clichés and gag-worthy montages, and the truth is, if they had just let the story play out (the way all of you other commenters' stories play out) people will be interested in it (I should add this clause - as long as they get good actors that an audience will get invested in.) Just reading about all you guys' story, I'm so so interested, and with a great writer and a capable director, these stories could all be movies. But they won't be labeled as "rom com" (because that term is dreaded and rife with too many ugh-worthy baggage). It'll just be called drama, or a love story.

Posted by: denesteak at February 5, 2011 6:56 PM

Here goes:

I'm a bridesmaid for a wedding whose family was taking bets to see how long the marriage will last (not long). As I nervously sit in the living room, covered in make-up, hairspray and hunter green fabric, my peripherial(sp.!) vision spies a large, towering man-shape standing in the hallway and staring in my direction.

I ignore man-shape until I can't take it anymore (2.3 seconds) and viciously snap "what do you want?". His response: "I just wanted to say you look really nice".

Flash forward to wedding and drunken bridesmaid speeches. End up dancing with "man-shape" and he's a great dancer. Night ends, and I give man-shape my phone number. But I get driven home by groom's best friend (with whom Bride wanted me to hook up with because then "we'd all have so much fun together forever and ever"). Dude was a douchebag. Dude gets punched in the stomach because I'm complaining about my high heels and he replies "girls who don't like high heels are lesbians".

Dude goes home, sore and empty-handed, and I go to bed. Next morning, I go horseback riding and return to bride's mother's house for family breakfast send-off for out of town cousins, etc.

Man-shape is there, and turns out his name is John and he's Bride's B.C. interior cousin. Cool beans. He likes my smelly, cow-girl look and I like his glasses. Dated long distance for 2 years, I moved to Trail for the next 2, and have been married since 2002.

Long live romance!

Posted by: kootenay girl at February 5, 2011 7:00 PM

Well, I feel like I'm living in a really bad rom-com written by someone who hates happiness. And probably puppies.

The story is this: Girl meets boy. Girl and boy hang around the same people, so they become friends. Girl moves to other country. Boy eventually moves to same country. They become really good friends, hang out all the time and have so much fun together it should be illegal. They start having thoughts. Neither tells the other. Then drunken shenanigans lead to pretty fantastic sex. And everything changes. They remain friends, but don't know what to do about the sex. Do they pretend it didn't happen? Do they do it again?

To be continued...

Posted by: Joker at February 5, 2011 7:10 PM

kootenay girl, if I weren't married, I'd chase you down myself, 'cuz I dislike seeing a woman in high heels.

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at February 5, 2011 7:48 PM

KatSings: Is your boyfriend (or husband...sorry, I can't remember right now!)really Bradley Cooper, wearing a mask? Because that would be hilarious.

Posted by: Figgy at February 5, 2011 8:29 PM

Ours is a poorly written Jane Austin knockoff. I was between boyfriends in college, so my sorority sister invited me to an outdoor summer class (surveying) to scope the guys. I met and clicked with one who did everyting but start a relationship - meals, studying, but no kiss. Turned out that he had a girlfriend, so nothing happens.

Bumped into him at the pregame events for a football game that fall. As he was leaning in to kiss me, some girls shouted his name and waved for him to come to them. Douchebag's cheating on his girlfriend, I thought, and walked away unkissed.

Saw him again at the game itself with seats a few rows from each other. I was clothed in an upside-down Halloween lawn litter bag accented with rain-plastered hair. Inexplicably attracted to my ensemble, he explained that the girls from earlier in the day were classmates and he was single. We shared our first kiss during the last-second winning touchdown.

Flash to a year later. My "I love you" received a "I really care about you too." Breakup and crying ensue. Two weeks later I injure myself on the job and he's the only person I know with a functioning car. He takes me to the campus clinic, tells me he still loves me and always did, and we've never been away from each other since.

There are more details involved that would make for a quirky romcom, like how I got my engagement ring while I had my hand up the ass of a chicken carcass, or how my future father-in-law thought I said I wanted to write sex books. It's worked - four years dating followed by thirteen years of marriage and two kids.

OK, it soulds pretty pedestrian in this snapshot telling, but it's part of the family mythology that gets trotted out at every big gathering.

Posted by: Kati at February 5, 2011 8:51 PM

It's a long one but a good one...

I met Mr.Ts when I was 14. He was my first high school boyfriend. We dated for the first trimester of school until we broke up so I could date his much cooler bad boy type friend. Great tragedy involving teen pregnancy followed. My family moved 2 states away and we started a "new life."

Needless to say I was a little relationship gun shy. I dated here and there but nothing serious. Then I met H. H and I were together for 6 years. At times it was the most amazing relationship ever, at others it was terrible. It was the sort of crazy love that ends up with someone shoving a body under the sink. Once he broke up with me on my birthday. After two breakups and reconciliations, failing out of school, but dreams on hold and generally giving my all in support of what had become an unhealthy relationship I was ready to get out.

A lot of my close friends went to private hippy schools and one day I was showing one of them how to use facebook to find her other hippy friends. Demonstrating how to find classmates I stumbled across Mr.Ts profile. He was living in Florida (I was in NY)and attending school. I sent a quick message. He sent one back. Low and behold he was driving to our home state with his roomate and they had to go through my city to get there. I said, "stop and visit we'll catch up." I took Mr.T and the roomate out on the town, strippers, drinking, much merry making. When it came time to leave Mr.T wrote me a LONG letter that started with "You don't have to leave him for me, you have to leave him for you..." it went on to say that I was better then I was letting myself be with H and that given the chance he would relish getting to know me better everyday. It went on and on and it was really amazing.

The next time we spoke they had gotten back to Florida. I said, I miss you, come back, I'm leaving H. Mr.T booked a red eye and was back the next day. H and I parted ways, Mr.T moved to NY and a year later we were married. It's been 5 years.

Posted by: MiniTs at February 5, 2011 8:56 PM

i'm trying right now to get a girlfriend i tried e harmonee i wass really honest on their test and they said i'm too perfect for any woman. i tried asking my muslim friend to be my girlfriend but she said she already had a boyfriend and i'v had three girls from russia one turned out to be a scammer. i just tried to aska girl out at my job because inoticed she did like twilight but she said not interested.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at February 5, 2011 9:08 PM

Lurker 5+ years and counting here...

My husband and I met scuba diving for long lost shipwrecks. We were both in the denouement of emotionally abusive relationships. He was my assigned dive buddy for my thesis project.

We really started flirting when my gay best friend and I bet on whether he (my now husband) was gay or straight - whoever got kissed first was the winner.

I won in every way possible.

Fool's Gold + Something so bad not even Hollywood has touched it yet.

Posted by: epimethea at February 5, 2011 9:48 PM

I met my fiance at the gym in college. I had just finished an intense cardio session, and I'm one of the lovely Irish descendants who gets really, really red in the face when they work out. Like fire engine red, and really sweaty. I headed over to the butt machine - the embarrassing one - and one of my guy friends from high school walked by. He said hi, we chatted for a minute, and I noticed a really tall, tan guy in a brown shirt staring at me. Just staring, his eyes so big I could see the whites of them behind his glasses from over 10 feet away. My friend said "Oh, this is my roommate, ___", and I introduced myself, saying "I'd shake your hand right now, but I'm really sweaty."

We went on a first date with a group, where I spilled popcorn on him, almost spilled my drink and made fun of him for texting....his dad. Flash forward almost 2 years to today and we're due to be married in July.

Posted by: jvo at February 5, 2011 10:51 PM

I meet my special someone at a destination wedding for my sister in Italy. We started dancing together and immediately fell in love. Then I saw him kissing another girl so I immediately went to the nearest fountain and pulled out coins men had throw in there. Then four different guys were cursed to fall in love with me and they followed me back to New York and SHENANIGANS ensued. Then the curse was lifted and I ended up with the guy from the wedding and we have been happily married every since. Or wait, maybe that's the plot of When in Rome so easily confused with real life.

Posted by: home_slice at February 5, 2011 10:55 PM

My roommate's father used to be a monk. I don't have much religious knowledge, but when she told me this I thought "Hmmm...is that allowed?"
It's not.
Roommate's mother's family is Irish Catholic and friendly as can be, so Roommate's Grandmother became friendly with Mr. Monk from a nearby church. Grandmother, delighted by the nice, young monk invites him to her daughter's birthday party. Mr. Monk meets Roommate's Mom, they immediately fall in love and run off together and get married.
Mr. Monk gets excommunicated. Years later they recieve a personal letter from John Paul II, the best pope ever, who tells them that true love is beautiful and they are basically forgiven.
I think it's a pretty badass story for possibly the mildest, sweetest people in the world.

Posted by: Erin S at February 5, 2011 11:04 PM

Glad you asked. I first met my husband when he came to my apartment to film an episode of a community access sketch comedy tv show (quirky job!) (one of the other guys involved in the show (the wingman!) was dating my roommate (the wry, funny best girlfriend!)). I thought Hayes was cute, funny, extremely talented and charming, but there were no real sparks - he was extremely young (20 to my 27) and married and a father to a newborn (very real obstacles!). I was working as an attorney (uptight professional woman! bonus:We come from different worlds!) and had just accepted job offer in another city (contrived obstacle!).

Three years later, I was back in Nashville. A friend (the former roommate - continuity!) was playing an open-mic night (quirky quirk!), and even though I was exhausted (career takes its toll on women!) and really really wanted to stay in that evening with my dog (no doubt because I had given up on ever meeting the right guy!), I made myself keep my promise and go to see Dawn's set. Got to the horrific, scary dive bar (people were smoking crack in the bathroom. We can massage that to something sexier in the rewrite). Hung out with my girlfriend and spent some time hanging out with some distant acquaintances. Eventually, I went to the bar to get a drink. Who should be standing next to me but that guy who did that thing in my apartment way back when (he was there to see a friend of his perform, later in the evening (what are the odds!). I recognized him, we started to talk. The first thing he mentioned was that he was divorced and had full custody of his daughter (down to earth man with his priorities in order!). We had a great time hanging out while I waited and waited and waited to get my damn beer. Once I had it, I headed back to my friend, but she was now busy setting up for her performance. I looked around and realized there was no one else I wanted to spend time with, so I went back to the bar and told my future husband, "Dawn's setting up, and I was really enjoying our conversation. Do you mind if I pull up a barstool?" He was delighted, and we had a fabulous time talking - until Dawn started her set. The stage was in a different room, so I went in to watch her play; Hayes didn't join me, or get my number, which puzzled me no end since he was obviously attracted to me. Still, I figured I'd been pretty damn blatant in my interest, so after Dawn was done, she and I left.

As it turned out, there was apparently a woman on his left at the bar who was actually his date for the evening (yet another contrived obstacle!). While he had been willing to completely ignore her to talk to me, he wasn't so rude that he would walk off with me or ask me for my number in her presence. Unfortunately, that meant that he had no way to get in touch with me (will we EVER be together?) - but he called his friend who used to date Dawn, who was able to tell him Dawn's full name and the name of the company she worked for when they dated. He then called her at work, and got my unlisted number from her - and the rest is history. We got engaged after dating only 4 months, but have now been together for 12 years (11 as married people), with two lovely girls (14 and 8) and the same dog I had back then.


The only thing missing from this is that The Wingman and the Wry Best Girlfriend didn't get back together; in fact, they continue to hate each others guts. c'est la vie....

Just - don't cast Jennifer Aniston, please?

Posted by: Edith at February 5, 2011 11:16 PM

Hubby and I met at work. He had just turned twenty, I was 17 and about to start my senior year of high school. I was painfully shy and super awkward, and he was terrified of my mother (she had managed this particular office years before, and remained a client after she quit, and everyone was afraid of her).
He offered to teach me to drive stick (dirty!) in his truck as a way of getting to know each other. The day after my 18th birthday (we'd known each other for about three months at this point, but were "just friends") he asked me out. Our first real date was shooting rifles at a gun range (yeah, we're Texans).
We got hot and heavy over my winter break, moved in with each other six weeks after I graduated high school (partially to piss off our parents, I'll admit it), he proposed a week before I turned nineteen and we married the following June. We've been married six and a half years now and have a three month old son.
He's still a little scared of my mom.

Posted by: badkittyuno at February 6, 2011 12:24 AM

I met my hubby at a swingers party...it was love at first...ahem...sight...

I've always thought that a sweet rom-com could be made about that....

Posted by: Lala11_7 at February 6, 2011 12:51 AM

I met Mr. DaC when he was 20 years old and working at the Taco Bell (quirky place) near my high school (I was 18). I drove away on him when he tried to ask me for my phone number. (One-sided hate.) The only reason he got it was because he was taking a break the next time I pulled up and I got boxed in by two cars. Then I figured, "What the hell."

Our first date was The Grudge. (Abnormal date.) That I'd already seen with my friends a week before.

Posted by: duckandcover at February 6, 2011 2:23 AM

Oh Godtopus, you people are scaring me.

A couple years back a high school friend found my e-dentity when she just happened to be in my West coast city for work. So, we have dinner & talk for a couple hours like it hasn't been any time at all. A couple months back, the same friend just happens to be doing training in my new, East coast home. So, we have dinner again. Among the chat she mentions ...

"I was talking to Nat & she asked how you were. I said you were sexy."

Nat, the jr. high crush, in most of my classes thereafter. The unrequited one from those frothy years with the first potential for actual, you know, requitement. I still cringe remembering three horribly awkward forays into connecting. It's worse than simple carbonated hormones. I also liked her, like as a human.

The Universe is f**king with me.

Out loud I said: "Sexy?" She says, "Yeah, a little bit." It may be pathetic, but I'll take "a little bit." BIG change from back in the day.

Musing a little I say: "I'd kind of expect Natalie to be doing well. She always had her act so together. Me, I may have talent, but I'm just dancing as fast as I can, and lately, it's a bit of a mess."

"She's not all that together. She got divorced."

Yep. Way too many rom-com tropes, and my freaking out about it is sub-trope variation 17b - "the worldly, cynical bachelor meets-cute the one from his past who reanimates his soft nougat center, which he fights every inch of the way."

Meanwhile, those two marksman kids ... in the course of competing against each other one has a psychotic break. The other can't take it, and drops out of the competition. They end up assassins, recruited by shady pseudo-government types and the mobsters who fronted the college / competition money, respectively. Each is eventually assigned to kill the other. One loves the thought, going all Fatal Attraction. The other is wracked, some more.

Seeing each other through their sights, knowing the other is also lined up, they both shoot to wound. Blood flows. In a beat, each realizes that they aren't dead. Then each remembers the shot and deliberately missing. Then they realize that the other one deliberately missed. Back to the scope to see the other, lining up their sights again.

Cut to black.

There. A happy ending.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at February 6, 2011 3:04 AM

Damn you, Tater, I have a reputation to maintain.

I got to play the Knight in Shining Armor. I rescued my lovely lass from a terrible long-term relationship and then I even got to nurse her back to health (after her face was crushed by a softball). I met her most overprotective sister on the day she got hurt and I met her mom the day she had surgery. I must say that there is nothing like meeting your month-old girlfriend's Catholic mom when your lady is cracked on morphine and has a titty hanging out of her hospital gown.

I still revel in the position of being the rebound that wasn't supposed to last and that first month really did set the tone for out marriage.

Posted by: admin at February 6, 2011 3:39 AM

Rom Coms = Responsible for making it hard on guys to use catchy love quotes since all are used in the movies.

Posted by: The Minn at February 6, 2011 4:41 AM

I have a pretty good story. Kind of a more gritty Serendipity (warning: I have never actually seen Serendipity). I had been living in New York for less than a year, and had a very minor crush on a kind of douchey bartender who worked at a laid-back bar in my neighborhood. One Friday night, I went on a double date with my old college roommate, her boyfriend, and his friend. I somehow made them get in a fight over her past, I had zero interest in the guy, and I spent the whole time talking to the boyfriend. They left early to catch a train, so I figured I would go home, stop by the bar, and flirt with the bartender, since I was already dressed up.

The place was crowded, so I got a drink and sat by myself, listening to the live band. I went back to the bar to pay, and a guy with a bleached mullet-type hairstyle started joking around with me. I considered using my fake name for kicks, but he was nice so I gave him the truth. Turns out he was there with a large group (including his bisexual, open-relationship wife) for a birthday, and he told B, a single guy, to come talk to me. He didn't believe a young, random girl in a bar would be worth it, but we immediately hit it off, and I became the ringleader of the group, getting two guys to pick up their shirts and stomach-bump, and taking them around to another bar.

At that bar I got distracted by a cute boy and had a disappointing encounter with him. The other group and B were forgotten.

Cut to six months later. Now a regular, I was at the same bar when a guy sitting nearby got pushed into talking to me since we both knew the bartender. After some time talking, we introduced ourselves. Again I considered using a fake name, but didn't. His eyes got wide, and he said, "Did you say your name is Sabrina?"

A little scared, I considered saying no. But it was B, who only recognized me because of my name, and whom I didn't recognize at all. Apparently that night, and I, were famous, and he had been kicking himself for not getting my number.

If I had used my fake name on either night, we never would have reconnected after exactly six months.

We started seeing each other, not seriously, and every single time I met him out, I didn't recognize him and would walk right past him and pull out my phone.

And now we're married! Ok, we're not, but he did text me recently to ask if I was still in a relationship, and was very sweet when I said I was.

Posted by: SaBrina at February 6, 2011 5:25 AM

There are no records or living witnesses to my romance with the Evil Succubus, my dear ex-wife. However, what fragmentary memories survive indicate that we met at work, followed by dating. My biggest surprise at the time was that she was virgo intacta.

Not for long, of course.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 6, 2011 6:33 AM

I was the mess of a girl jumping from short crappy relationship to short crappy relationship, drinking a lot and making bad decisions.

He was the guy I'd been friends with for a couple of years who got to listen to all of my relationship woes.

I'm about to jump feet first into yet another short and unsatisfactory liaison when he begs me not to and tells me how he's felt for the last few years. 13 years later, after he decides not to move to another country (which he was supposed to be doing when we hooked up), and we're still here. Yay!

Posted by: Bumwee McGee at February 6, 2011 6:44 AM

Middle Age Rom Com:
I first met The Big G when I was a teenager; he hung out with my older brother and he was wonderfully quirky and whipsmart and way out of my league. We all hung together until our early 20's and then wandered off on our own paths; he moved to the UK, then Switzerland, I went Wet Coast and back to the tundra.I never thought I was the marrying kind, had a child, hit my forties and one day The Big G showed up at my brother's for a visit and I thought "How did I let him get away?". He was married, had two boys and lived in Switzerland and was still brilliantly witty (maybe even more so).
Flash forward three years.
I get an email saying he'd be in my city for a day or two. We met up, went for lunch, drank beers, talked and bantered as if 20 years hadn't gone by. This was the beginning of a 6 month email romance that resulted in my moving to Switz and getting married to the love of my life at age 51.
Just goes to show, you never know where you'll end up or who you'll end up with.

Posted by: brite at February 6, 2011 8:13 AM

We met at work waiting tables in an Asian fusion restaurant (meet cute?) when I was living abroad. We both already had significant others (his was long distance) so we just became instant best friends. His girlfriend broke up with him. We got drunk and made out after a work party one night. He didn't want another long distance relationship with a foreigner. I had a boyfriend that I was pretty sure was going to work out. (obstacles!) We left it there, uncomfortably.

He visited me right before I got engaged to the boyfriend and confessed his love. Devastating but I couldn't stop the train I was on. I married the boyfriend and didn't talk to my friend for three years (the big misunderstanding!). Eventually I divorced the boyfriend, got back in touch with my friend, and moved back abroad to live together (resolution!) Happiness ensued.

We've known each other for ten years and never hated each other but I'm sure you could add that in there somewhere in our Rom Com. I'm going to go hug him now.

Posted by: Cara at February 6, 2011 9:51 AM

I remember how we met very clearly. Just tell me how to get rid of him.

Posted by: Kpants at February 6, 2011 10:21 AM

Mrs H was my teacher when I was 8. One day she brought her daughter, C, who was unwell, into class and she sat at the end of my row.

10 years later, I start my first job, and who should be working in the supermarket, but C.

Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend, a nice enough guy, and then left to work elsewhere.

20 years later, during a daft coversation on facebook with another old buddy, we got talking, and ended up chatting all night.

We arrange to meet and have a pizza and some wine at her place. She had got married, had three kids and split up from her cheating arsehole of a husband. I had given up any hope of meeting someone special.

We talked, we laughed, we cried together.
We laughed even more.

We have been together for 2 months now, and I hope we are together for the rest of our lives.

(credits)

P.s. even her mother is happy!

Posted by: frank_247 at February 6, 2011 10:40 AM

How my parents met:

My mom was an elementary school teacher. She had an older, mentor-type teacher (can't remember her name, say it's Mrs. Liebowitz or something). Anyway, Mrs. Liebowitz goes skiing and promptly breaks her leg. She's now holed up in the hospital for weeks.

But Mrs. Liebowitz has juice, as her husband's like a federal appellate judge or something, so she gets the 5-star treatment at the hospital, which includes personal visits from various hospital execs. My dad, being the lowest of said execs, has the duty of spending the most time with her. My dad glad-hands the jewish woman like a pro. Now being one of the "nice boys," Mrs. Liebowitz pesters my dad into asking my mom out...

Which she turns down flat. My mom's already dating someone (a drug dealer - it's the 70's). Mrs. Liebowitz then decides to pester both sides of the equation until my mom breaks down and decides to go on a blind date with my dad in order to shut her co-worker up. My mom basically two-times the drug-dealing boyfriend with my dad until the drug-dealing boyfriend gets killed in deal gone bad.

With such a poorly-plotted rom-com, I should never have been born.

Posted by: Sean at February 6, 2011 10:41 AM

@sean...

my mom did that sort of thing to my dad... played 2 men (herp derp it was the seventies)

I haven't been able to look at her the same way since she told me... what a bitch...

Posted by: maka at February 6, 2011 10:44 AM

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar. (sorry) No, I was bartending my way through my 2nd senior year at school at a popular college sports bar in my hometown. It was a super-busy night. Boy comes in with his business-ey friends, I notice him because he's cute and wearing a nice suit that fits well (difficult for a 22-year-old), and pay him extra attention. He winds up being a little douchey while he's drunk and tips me a barely average amount while he slips me his card. And he said, "here, take my card". Boys: STOP DOING THIS.

His card ended up on our bar kitchen wall amongst other cards from customers like him. It stayed up for a few weeks and then got thrown away. I think nothing of him until he comes in again five months later with the same group. This time, it's a quiet night, he's not drunk, and they're all kind of nice guys just there to play pool and relax. I deliver them their drinks (big deal for me... I made it a point to always have the barrier of the bar between myself and customers) and he's generally very sweet, interesting, and even apologized for the "whole card thing". Upon leaving -- and tipping very well -- he gives me another card and says something like, "just in case". I still threw the card away but remembered his name and stalked him on facebook anyway.

I ended up sending him a message, getting his number (even though i had it in my hands twice), and we started hanging out. Blah blah blah, now we're dating. The cute part is that from time to time -- especially when I'm having really shitty days -- he shows up where I work with a coffee and a cute note written on one of his business cards. I use them as bookmarks now. (aww)

Posted by: Amanda at February 6, 2011 11:44 AM

My most rom-comy relationship actually failed at the "happily ever after" bit, but here it is anyway:
Dan and I grew up down the street from each other. He was the cute bad boy and I was the...unfortunate...looking tomboy. We were friends as kids, but it never even occurred to me to crush on him, he was so out of my league. Then, somewhere between middle school and high school I pulled an ugly duckling transformation and Dan started flirting. My self-esteem hadn't caught up with my looks, so it never occurred to me that I might be attractive to the opposite sex, and anyway it was Dan, who I'd always had a teasing relationship with, so I just took it as a joke and generally treated his flirting with disdain. That continued for a couple of years, until he moved out of the neighborhood and then late sophomore year of high school did something actually kind of thoughtful and sweet for me that made me re-evaluate how I thought about him. Midway through Junior year he asked me to slow-dance with him at a school dance and while I was still wondering what the hell was going on asked me out on a date, and I was so shocked I said yes. We dated for a couple of months, but I always held him at arms length, because he was the bad boy who I knew dated multiple girls at once and bounced from girl to girl. Hell, I'd caught him making out with some random chick in the art teacher's office the year before. He never seemed like relationship material, even though I liked him. And then he kinda proved me right by literally disappearing for about a year (he'd dropped out of school at that point). He never broke up with me or anything, just stopped coming 'round and calling.
When he started hanging out with some mutual friends again a year later and we started seeing each other around, my crush returned full force, and I guess so did his. We kind of danced around the subject for a good month because I was about to leave for college and a long distance relationship didn't seem like the best idea. All our mutual friends knew, anyway, and things kind of came to a head when I went to the fair with his best friend - not as a date, just as friends, but Dan took it the wrong way and got way jealous (and I guess the friend had a crush on me, which I didn't realize at all). Anyway, after that we started dating again, a month before I left town for good. I was a little less restrained this time, but we still only made it two months before the long distance (and a more local woman) killed the relationship. I had actually insisted that we be free to date other people once I went off to college, since I didn't want to be tied down, so that one's my own fault.
Our lives took completely different paths after that. He ended up married young, and then divorced barely a year later, and then he joined the army at the wrong time and got sent off to war. I finished undergrad and moved on to working on my PhD, exactly as I'd planned to do back in high school. Almost 10 years later he finds me on facebook. We're both on the edge of ending unhealthy relationships and I guess we pushed each other over the edge. We started flirting like crazy and after about a month of that, I flew out to his city for a long weekend to reconnect. And...we realized we had absolutely nothing in common but a shared past. It's perfect cinema until the end. Oh well, I guess the screenwriters will have to rewrite that bit.

Posted by: dr. pisaster at February 6, 2011 12:06 PM

I first met Brian at a huge Baptist church in Houston, but didn't really get his name until a group of us went to lunch afterward. I was the first through the line at a stand-and-order burger joint and he was already at the table because he wasn't eating. Since he was the only one there, I sat across from him and introduced myself. We had a good chat but it was a few weeks until I really took an interest in him. I described him to my friends as a "balding accountant" which probably didn't sound like a promising start to them. I was a high school teacher and a bit more of a kooky imaginative geeky type. No, he, the accountant, was not the geeky one. He had read some Tolkein and liked Star Wars but that was about it. I liked to watch Xena and various Star Trek shows and read science fiction but I hid that from him at first. We bonded over watching Seinfeld episodes while on the phone with each other. OK, so it's not very rom-comy. The best part to me is that when we got serious my mom was very pleased that I was settling down with a Texas boy instead of hooking up with some guy in Missouri (where I went to college). But since we met we've moved several times (including time in Europe) and we now live in New York. Poor Mom.

A better story is that I was the "wrong girl" in someone else's rom-com. In the early days of the internet ('94 or so) I met a guy online at a music message board (gosh, what did they call those back then? can't remember). We began writing long emails, then talking on the phone, to the point that we were sending each other poetry and talking about love and wondering how we could meet up (he was in Oregon and I was in Missouri). Then he ended up falling for a local girl he'd been friends with for a while and they are now married. So I was that wrong girl in his long-distance relationship and he found his true love right next door. Jerk.

Posted by: pickled tink at February 6, 2011 2:05 PM

The way my parents got together was interesting.

Meet Steve... An ambitious entrepreneur who moves to the big city to break free from his small town past.

Meet Stella... A wide-eyed foreigner who seeks refuge in the U.S. with nothing but a skill set and a dream of a better life.

Stella and Steve cross paths when Stella learns how to drive from Steve's school, with Steve being her instructor. The only thought in Steve's mind is that she's a horrible driver. And the only thought in Stella's mind is that he is an uptight American. She finishes and they go their separate ways.

Six months later...

An employee of Steve's school ends up in the hospital. When Steve makes a visit to see his ailing ally, he notices the attending nurse. Stella.

A cup of coffee... and it's on like Donkey Kong.

Add in a huge monetary bribe from Steve's racist dad to not marry her, and Steve's middle finger reaction... You've got yourself a love story.

Posted by: Beaudacious at February 6, 2011 2:20 PM

Whenever I tell people the story of how my husband and I got together, they always say it sounds like something out of a movie so here it is:

I was living in NYC at the time and good friends of mine, I and M, were going out in Times Square for New Year's Eve with their friend (my now Mr.) who was in town for the weekend. I politely told them, thanks but no thanks as I had no interest whatsoever in being in Times Square with throngs of people with no access to a bathroom in the freezing cold. They begged and begged but I opted to celebrate the evening at home alone with a bottle of champagne and a few movies.

A couple days later, we had church at their apartment (we were just a small group of 5-6 people at that time with no formal church building. My Mr. was still there; we were introduced, he seemed nice enough but nothing in the way of "sparks". I had seen pictures of him from their wedding photos and always thought he was the best looking of their groomsmen. After church, the guys headed out to watch a football game, I said "nice to meet you" and all I got was a hand raised in farewell as he walked away with his back to me. Needless to say, I was not impressed.

He went back to Wisconsin and pretty much went unthought of by me unless my friends mentioned him. During the six months that passed until our next meeting, apparently our friend kept teasing My Mr. that I was "eyeing him during the Gospel reading at church" (which I deny to this day) and refered to me as "the wife" whenever they spoke.

Fast forward to June of that year, and My Mr. was coming in for a surprise birthday celebration for our mutual friend. I was invited to join them for a nice dinner out at The Oak Room at The Plaza. I was hesitant, as was My Mr., both of us telling them that we didn't want to be set up. We were NOT interested or looking. Finally, we both agreed but wary of the evening.

The afternoon of the big night out, I joined the four of them for a walk around the city where My Mr. and I got more acquainted. There was some teasing on both sides and a bit of flirtation but still no real thoughts of anything happening.

While we were having drinks before dinner, he made some comment and I said, "You're a real smart ass" to which he replied, "And you like it that way." That's when I knew I was in trouble. Things all kind of went downhill from there.

After dinner we all went on a carriage ride through Central Park and smoked cigars, then went to The Supper Club where we danced until around 2-3am. I taught him how to swing dance, we drank a lot, laughed even more, and I remember thinking: "He's the kind of person I'd want to marry."

We all went back to I & M's apartment where he and I wound up sharing their futon. We talked for a while, then he just BLAM laid a big fat kiss on me as I was in the middle of a sentence. The next day, he was supposed to leave but his flight was canceled to he ended up needing to use my phone to call and reschedule. I gave him my address and phone number and we said we'd keep in touch.

A week after he left, I got a letter in the mail with a five dollar bill as payment for letting him use the phone. That began our phone and letter correspondence for the next 23 days. We were preparing to meet up in Chicago as I was going to be there for a wedding, talking on the phone when he said, "Let's just admit it, we know we're gonna get married." He said, "I love you" for the very first time in Grant Park while we were sitting on a blanket talking and holding hands that weekend. Later, as we were walking to catch the train, we saw and old couple in their 70's dancing along to a jazz band. One of us said, "That'll be us 50 years from now." That weekend, I caught the bouquet at the wedding.

About a month later, we met one another's families in a whirlwind trip between Indiana and Wisconsin. He asked my Dad's permission for us to be married, we put money down on a reception hall and set our wedding date for eight months later.

He moved to NYC about three weeks after that, officially proposed three days later in front of the fountain just outside of The Plaza. Ten years later and we are still married with two gorgeous little girls. I still can't believe how it all came down and I know how cliche a lot of it sounds.

The really crazy thing, is that months before I met My Mr., I was listening to a Shirley Horn album, "You Won't Forget Me", and started writing down how it made me feel/what it made me think of. Specifically, it got me writing about meeting a guy and dancing with him and all of the emotions, etc. that ensue. It literally was almost exactly what our evening at The Supper Club was like. Kind of uncanny and a bit eerie, but just another "reason" to convince me that we were meant to be together.

Sorry - I probably overshared. Though frankly, I'm sure no one will read this so it doesn't matter.

Posted by: prairiegirl at February 6, 2011 2:27 PM

I met my current flame at a New Year's Day party I'd gone to with a friend who wanted to introduce me to Guy A, who was tall, interesting, and all the rest you'd presumably want. Before Guy A arrived, I found myself chatting with Guy B, an unassuming sort in a mangled old t-shirt who hadn't bothered to shave that day. He offered me a piece of the homemade bread he'd brought to the party and went to get me some wine when he noticed I had none. At some point, another partygoer asked about the song that had just come on and Guy B and I said Portishead at the same time. One animated conversation about heist movies later, and I was completely smitten. By the time Guy A arrived, he could've been Brad Pitt, and I wouldn't have noticed.

Posted by: hindulovegod at February 6, 2011 2:46 PM

Me: Hating life and grad school and State College, PA.
Him: Traveling through for work

The Setting: a bar

I'm out with with "friends" for a true friend's birthday, bored out of my skull, drunk as all hell. He's sitting alone, writing at same crowded bar. I'm thinking, that guy has to be more interesting than every moron in here, so I walk over and offer to buy him a drink (this is still amusing to him). We end up spending the night and the entire next day together, him missing every flight out of town (talking, seriously, just TALKING).

Three months later we eloped to Vegas and got married by a singing Elvis. Six months after that I relocated to sunny Green Bay.

Seven years of ridiculousness to date.

Posted by: anonanon at February 6, 2011 3:01 PM

Pssst, prairiegirl, I read your story and it was lovely.

Posted by: pickled tink at February 6, 2011 3:11 PM

Met my other half on my birthday through a mutual friend. We talked for a few minutes and then went our separate ways as the group split up for the night. Hung out with the mutual friend and him again and then I was off to the other side of the country for a few weeks. While I was gone we stayed in touch through emails. Had our first date a week after I got back and we've been stuck together since then.

Posted by: Sara B at February 6, 2011 3:29 PM

Met the husband on Kevin Smith's message board. He called me an ignorant bitch. He then apologized. We did the internet thing in a friendly way for about a year.Then we did it not in a friendly way for a few months. He traveled from Oregon to Guatemala on a hope and a prayer. He walked out of that airport and I just knew that was my husband. One move, two weddings and a million immigration forms later and I'm finally settled here. We'll have been married five years on April 1st. I can tell you so many meet cute stories that would make infinitely better Rom Coms than anything you see in a movie.

Posted by: Az at February 6, 2011 7:44 PM

It was the last two months of senior year of high school in a small new jersey town. I, the senior class president, musical theater lead and cheerleader, had been accepted to my second choice and couldn't wait to escape my walmart loving, shot gun toting peers.
In april,the goofball in the back of my health class, who wore led zeppelin t-shirts exclusively, slept through class and never even carried a NOTEBOOK, cut his shoulder length hair. He was SUDDENLY very hot. We had never spoken until one day i needed help with my calculus. Which he could do, although i'd never seen him in an AP Class. he was SUDDENLY smart. We found common ground in hating our town and loving the same movies. As my crush grew, i made sure not to say anything because my friends would not understand. We never spoke in the halls, but the week before prom (we both had other dates) he started to ask me out. I always said no. He told me i was going to meet him after prom to go to a party put on by a guy no-one knew very well but had absent parents and and a fully furnished basement where we shared our first kiss. our first real date we drove to the beach and then went to his house and listened to Wonderwall in the dark. Everyone at school was confused. In the fall i went off to college, he shipped out to boot camp. Four years later its a little more complicated but still pretty rom-commy. ...true story.

Posted by: thedistrictkid at February 6, 2011 8:14 PM

Mine is not a bad story, but not very rom-com. The fiance and I met somewhere around 2 weeks after birth. My mom and his aunt were best friends in high school. We were born 9 days apart, our moms and his aunt hung out a lot, we have lots of pictures of us together as babies. There is even one really cute-overload pic of us at 9 months where I am trying to kiss him with his aunt's face smiling between us and he was crying because he was born with his naturally curmudgeon personality.

We went to kindergarten through 3rd grade together and then my family moved to the next town over. We were always friends though because it was one of those small towns that had to co-op in sports because each school is too small. We always hung out with the same groups of friends but we were never really close friends and I never ever thought of him as more than a friend. He now says he always thought I was pretty but never felt confident enough to talk to me as I was quite intimidating back then as a teen girl who could care less about small town drama and was intent on getting out of there.

The next 10 years was a lot of missed opportunities to connect. We went to the same college for 2 semesters but he transferred. He then interviewed for a job in my town but didn't get it. And the whole time my mom and his aunt were giving us constant updates about the other's life. He got a lot of "You know who's cute, Austin, and she's single too!" And I got a lot of "You know J is going to law school too! You guys should talk, he's single you know." Neither one of us cared.

Then one day two years ago I posted a status update on facebook about my frustration on that week's episode of Lost. He commented on it and we talked via facebook every night that week about our love of Lost, other good tv shows and movies, and our general disdain of the state of America's taste in entertainment.

This led to months and months of facebook conversations and he never got the balls to ask me out even though I hinted at it several times. Finally I got fed up and told him I was stuck with an extra ticket to a baseball game and wanted to know if he wanted to go. This was a total lie, I bought it on purpose to ask him to go with me. He said yes, I worked out like crazy for 3 weeks to get in my best shape ever because I was worried he could only picture me in my perfect teenage body glory. I only add this detail because I was very proud of how good my ass looked that night. When I stepped out of my car and saw him in his throw back Ozzie Smith jersey I knew we were going to get married.

Two years, two moves, and three new jobs later we are engaged and planning a crazy-huge wedding. Our moms and his aunt are probably happier than we are.

Posted by: Austin at February 6, 2011 8:35 PM

There's a wealth of interesting stories here. I'd resent all of you if you didn't seem so nice.

I think I'm on the wrong side of a romantic comedy. Either that, or I'm Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summer.

Met a girl in an English class at college. She was 20, I was 28. Against all advice and common sense, we began dating. She was very pretty, into Bob Dylan and poetry, sensitive and affectionate.

Broke up after one week because she felt like it was a roller coaster but she wanted to end it. Got back together few days later after I sent her a terse email requesting my stuff back and telling her I'd avoid her from now on.

Broke up after two months because she was still into nice Christian kid who went on a few dates with her the previous summer then got another girlfriend. Got back together the next day because "we worked too hard for this" and she promised me at least one good summer.

Broke up after three weeks because Christian kid asked her to be in a student film and it all came back to her. Stayed broken up. Christian kid dies in car accident a few weeks later. She begins dating a mutual friend of the group a week-and-a-half later. They're still together, and their relationship is the focal point of a specific tumblr dedicated to it.

Lesson here?

Seriously, that wasn't rhetorical.

Posted by: Too embarrassed to even use an internet name at February 6, 2011 8:37 PM

hindulovegod,

If I may pause this diversion very briefly: Is that a reference to the album Warren Zevon made with 3/4 of REM?

Posted by: , at February 6, 2011 11:10 PM

All of these stories are making me feel all wistful. They also brought up memories of "Boy Meets World." I really loved Corey and Topanga.

Anyways, I think my parents had a pretty crazy love story. They met during the Blizzard of 78. He drove up on a snowmobile. They married, had 3 kids, divorced. She married someone else. But then, she divorces again and now they are back together again. I think that's about as close as my life will get to a soap opera.

I still think I'm going to meet the man of my dreams in a snowstorm. Right now, all I have is yummy-smelling dumb boy friend who said he likes my sugar cookies best (Not a euphemism).

Posted by: Caitlin at February 7, 2011 1:18 AM

Just got caught up on reading through all of these; they are all lovely and funny and sweet.

pickled tink said, In the early days of the internet ('94 or so) I met a guy online at a music message board (gosh, what did they call those back then? can't remember).

Bulletin Boards? (BBS?)

Posted by: Edith at February 7, 2011 2:40 AM

Yeah, Edith, maybe it was just a Bulletin Board. Man, I feel old.

Posted by: pickled tink at February 7, 2011 10:16 AM

@tickled pink - Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm still making my way through all of these and hope you have a story here as well. ;)

Posted by: prairiegirl at February 7, 2011 10:20 AM

Sigh. You people give me hope. (Sort of.)

Posted by: rhombus at February 7, 2011 10:56 AM

Comma, you win the Buick! My screen name is in honor of that very odd side project as well as a subtle reference to my actual first name.

Posted by: hindulovegod at February 7, 2011 11:19 AM

prairiegirl, I read it and loved it as well. My sister once chided me for talking about the "arc" of a relationship I was in; according to big sister, "Life doesn't happen in stories." My reply was something along the lines of, "Damn, I'm glad I don't have you sad little life - because mine does." All of these lovely posts confirm that I was right....

Posted by: Edith at February 7, 2011 12:17 PM

This story is the closest I've been to having a rom-com experience.

It was my very last night in New York and my friend and I went bar-hopping. We ended up playing beer pong in a karaoke bar. It was crowded, and next to her end of the table was a group of people. One of the guys started talking to her, and he mentioned something about visiting Spain and my friend pointed at me and said "She speaks Spanish." Guys comes over to my side of the table, he says, "hi" and I looked up at him. Pause. Suddenly my heart is in my throat.

Now, I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes to love at first sight or making connections with nothing but a look, but I definitely felt something.

We started talking, realized we had a lot in common, and then it was his turn to sing. Then it was my friend's turn. More talking, more looking into each other's eyes, and finally it was time for me to go. I offered to give him my e-mail and he gladly wrote it down. We hugged, and I knew that this guy would be special.

I left the next day. We started e-mailing each other and found lots of similarities. Our guitars are the same brand, we like the same bands, we've covered the same songs. We started Skyping and we even record songs together. I do my part, send it over to him, he mixes it with his, then sends it back so I can listen.

The first time I heard our voices together I was filled with both happiness and sadness. Why do we have to be so far away from each other?

I once told him, "You know, sometimes it pisses me off that we met on my last night in New York and we didn't get to spend more time together." His response: "I think about that, too. But I like to think that if we met each other then it was so we could recognize each other down the road."

This could turn out to be nothing more than a nice story to tell people. But I'm too curious now. I need to know if it could be something else. So, I'm going back to New York as soon as I can and see what's really there.

In the meantime, I console myself with knowing that at least our voices are together. http://bit.ly/halDWj

Posted by: THE Sofía at February 7, 2011 2:40 PM

THE Sofia - that song is beautiful and I love your story. I, too, hope that it turns out to be more than just a story for both of you.

Posted by: prairiegirl at February 8, 2011 9:40 AM