Pajiba

I train horses and give riding lessons. No matter how much shit you buy, or how much you read on the subject (although studying the correct material is VITAL to the discipline) you cannot buy or internet yourself into being a proper rider, or having a well schooled horse. You can BUY a well schooled horse, and fuck them RIGHT up with your fat, ignorant, crooked-sitting, ass. Also, despite the American trend of made-up-bullshit 'Natural Horsemanship' junk that is sold to wide eyed innocents and frightened middle aged women by charismatic cult leader cowboys in tight Wranlgers on RFD TV and the internet (along with millions of dollars worth of their gimmicky 'equipment' that will solve all your problems for the low low price of $_____), there is simply no substitute for DECADES of hands on, working, in the saddle, LEARNING, and experience.

I also suspect yard maintenance and landscaping businesses will be somewhat internet proof. That shit won't mow itself. Believe me, I tried ALL SUMMER to get it to magically self mow. No dice.

Clothing stores are semi resistant-yes you can buy clothing online, but a lot of people prefer to try them on in person.

Prostitution.

Aw, I was hoping this would be for reminiscing about those old, quirky, independently-owned video stores we remember so fondly...Fuck you, I'm'a do it anyway, 'cause this place was so amazing:

It was called East Coast Music & Video. It was run by a guy who'd moved to our podunky Southern college town (student body of about 15,000) from Manhattan, and he used to say he met more interesting people and got more interesting requests in our semi-hicky town than he had in the Big City.

I'd read about some obscure little movie in some independent rag, go in, and they'd have it. I rented The Rapture from ECM&V. I read about this awesome weird movie made by some Mexican guy and I went into the store and they already had Cronos in stock.

Purely as a challenge, a buddy requested a copy of the infamous Star Wars Christmas Special. This was in the VCR era. This was before the Internet. That thing had only ever been broadcast once, years before, and even at that, having (or making) a copy was copyright violation. George Lucas wanted the universe to forget it had ever happened...

Took the guy about two weeks and then he called my buddy to let him know that an unlabeled anonymous-looking tape cartridge was waiting for him in the store. Yup. None of us could believe it.

I fucking loved that place. They'd display forgotten movies in which now-famous or up-and-coming actresses had done nude scenes before they hit it big, with little handwritten signs underneath telling who was in it and where to fast-forward to.

*nostalgic sigh*

...Now what was your little diversion about? Oh.

Funeral parlors.

Amusement parks. The interwebs could never capture that unique atmosphere, much less the thrill of riding a coaster.

BOOZE!

When they inevitably invent the technology that gets you drunk over the internet, the collapse of modern society will soon follow!

Well, you can buy wine and stuff online... unless you happen to live in PA, where they won't ship any of that stuff to you. Stupid uptight laws.

You can buy clothes online, groceries online, schedule delivery for pizza and other junk from you computer... but I don't think we'll ever see an online gas delivery service, so gas stations are safe for now. At least until the oil companies get SO greedy that we all completely switch to other fuel sources.

Aside: the other day my brother and I dropped by a local comic book shop. I hadn't been in one in ages and just getting the musty smell of cardboard backs, seeing all the titles and toys and trade paperbacks and hearing the sounds of some unknown rock band blaring, it felt so good to do so. Spoke with the guy in charge for a while about comics.

As for Net-proof businesses, what about pet stores or animal shelters. Yeah, you can buy pet food, supplies and medicine online, but can you try buying a puppy online? Or rescuing a kitty? How can you know its temperament or get a gauge for its personality?

Restaurants, I don't think the internet will ever be able to make your dinner and drinks serve it with a smile and then clean it all up, maybe a robot could...

Clothing.

Because women be shopping.

I live in a small town, so I kind of have to get whatever I need online. If I were in a bigger city, I would definitely leave the house to get a book, or a CD or something. I use the shit out of Amazon.

I agree with ChristianH, in that I am hating the internet more and more.

Our Blockbuster is still alive, actually, but Hollywood Video shut down several months ago.

But...for the actual question, I'm going to say Wedding Dresses. Sure, you can buy them online, but...who would want to? Plus there are alterations and all that horse hooey.

Also, the Apple store/computer repair shops/etc. If you aren't smart enough to properly use your technology, you probably won't be smart enough to troubleshoot it online.

Buying televisions. I still think buying laptops qualifies, too. And phones. I mean, the internet can help but it isn't practical for ensuring you get your money's worth.

Amen Lindsey with an 'e'.

Just say no to the "carrot stick" types.

Lol.

Good suggestions everyone!

I hate using Red Boxes especially when you want something specific and the person in front of you takes their sweet ass time browsing through every single movie available in the machine three times before deciding on the thing that they were going to rent anyway!

I just wanted to say that both Blockbusters that were in my town's vicinity are now officially closed.

As far the question goes....I think anything that involves an activity of "getting outside the house" will be internet-proof. This includes restaurants, clothing stores, malls, movie theaters, etc.

I still use my library cds and movie rentals.

On to subject, Nurses and Doctors, we're definetly recession proof. We can practically work anywhere in the world.

Googling your illness is never the same as quality hospital care.

Oh man, Lindsey w/an 'e' and Grace, the stories I have about natural horsemanship crazies.....but you probably have the same ones! If you never have, check out fuglyhorseoftheday. dot. com. Great vents on some of these idiots. I will say I do have a rope halter and lead for my one colt who is sill a rat-bastard of a puller at the trailer (not consistantly but often enough that I got tired of replacing my halters and leadrope hardware) A few well-placed knots in the crown of the rope halter, and voila, no pulling! Idiot horse.

Anyway, as for internet-proof businesses? As a first-time pregnant lady, I have to say most baby-businesses (Babies R Us, etc.) cause I have no idea what most of these contraptions or toys are for/ what they do, so I really want to see them in person before I buy.

I also heard on the radio the other day that businesses are really going to be cracking down on returns, which cost retailers over $40 billion last year. They are going to require you to have your recipt, will only give store credit, not cash, fill out a long, pain-in-the-ass form and some of the bigger stores are starting 'returns lits' like a no-fly list for people who make excessive returns. Maybe that will get more people into the brick-and-mortar stores to ensure they are really getting what they want?

With the advent of viable sex robots, modern feminism will wither and die.
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Vets and dog groomers. My local groomer has a full schedule, and I live in a town of 1400. That's right, hundred, not thousand, and the woman is booked solid for weeks. Granted, there are other little towns around us, but still, we're talking under 10K total.

Both the local movie rental place and the local used album/cd place are going strong in the college town nearby, but that's because they have totally obscure things that college profs love and students like to discover. Also, there's fuck all for selection elsewhere in town.

My two cents:

I worked at Blockbuster for almost two years. As a movie buff, what better way to see whatever you want? I had five accounts from various places, and within the time I worked there I watched a good 350+ movies.

This was one of the largest Blockbusters in three states, where I worked. It had a great selection of low-key films. Gems. Wonderful B-movie fodder. Whatever you wanted, they had it. I spent hours in that store as a youth with my friends, perusing the isles for the one movie that had previously escaped my attention or inclination. (Hell, when the VHS first arrived and the first movie stores were available, that Blockbuster was called Movies 2 Go. My dad was one of the first customers.)

Here's the catch: most of the best films were on VHS.

Then, one day, the word came through: we were to box and THROW AWAY all of the VHS tapes. There was a firesale that lasted for a week or so, and I did my best to find things that at the time weren't out on DVD, or never will be.

The new format was different: All DVD's, and from a more modern selection. That's not to say there weren't the classics available; you will always be able to rent Caddyshack or Casablanca, but a video store cannot survive on the AFI top 100 and all the new releases, especially those that didn't get a theatrical run.

What fun is that: There is no joy to be had walking isle after isle looking at the pictures on the VHS boxes. The stores got smaller, their selection more limited, and more dependent on the new releases. (On a side note, I think CGI ruined the B-movie. But that's just me.)

There are small movie bins in small towns across America that have been surviving for decades. The places that carry the full run of the Faces of Death films, or I spit on your Grave, or Dark Star. They survive because they cater to our curiosity. The carry on because of word of mouth, or cult status. Sure they get the new releases, but they have the things that exist that most people don't know about and are ripe for discovery.

I go to BB once every six months. When my store closed and relocated to the Walmart parking lot a few years ago, a piece of my childhood died. The new store is sterile. Safe. It's far too expensive and the selection has been crap for years. They probably could have survived had they downsized and catered to the cheap, to the fun to be had walking the isles looking at all the cool pictures.

Writing on the wall be damned, however, for there's profit to be had.

Blockbuster killed itself. Natural Selection due to lack of selection I suppose.

Creating computers, software and interweb thingies is ironically Internet-proof. Yes, this work gets off-shored ... to more people. We've got half the world doing this nonsense these days.

And what people they are. Socially defective little Rain Men, insecure over-achievers all, trying to work together on something actually challenging when they've gotten the job by carefully managing their solo academic careers to never undertake something they can't already do.

Who actually learned something, the tool strategically sand-bagging their 4.0, or the person who struggled through to a B? Who stands a chance of handling the rough and tumble of "Oh, shit, what the hell happened?" in real technology, real business, um, real life, the self-polished image-istas or people who do, you know, actual stuff. Google wants to see the college transcripts and SAT scores for people with 20, 25, 30 successful years doing the frakkng job. Really? Image uber-alles? So they're hiring people who got a publicist at birth?

At least the graphic / information-designer types are nice to look at - you know the folks who dress in black, with the stylish glasses and found-object jewelry. And they have way better parties.

BUT, Godtopus spare me from an international, interweb-enabled cabal of strategic credentialistas. And don't get me started on "biz-devs" with MBAs. Software types are under-develped nerds, while those other folks are deliberately, consciously, consistently evil.

Um, apparently no matter how much Internet we get, I'll still have issues. Yay?

the jury is still out on which is best mac or pc
Posted by: Kevin Honour at November 7, 2010 11:29 AM

No, no it isn't, regardless of what Steve Jobs' little cult would have us believe.

Hersheygirl
Oooh, I am WELL aware of Fuglyhorseoftheday. ONE of the "women of a certain age" I mentioned in my barn (also someone I trained for for 3 years before I COULD NOT TAKE THE CRAZY ANYMORE) is one of the people who bought one of the horses in THIS scam:

http://fuglyblog.com/?p=1756

Seriously. She LOVES to brag about her 'Palomino Friesian' with the "Rare double curly mane" (Which is now an entirely left mane anyway). I am not sure if she knows about the scam being revealed. I hope so. She is almost indescribably insane. She has also collected another Friesian, an Andalusian, and an Icelandic. And she cannot even saddle a horse without a team of people to help her. I WISH NH was the worst of her issues. The comments in that thread about crazy people and custom fancy horse breeds is DEAD ON. Oooh, Check THIS out: http://www.knickersandbreeches.com/
She makes these awful things, and tries to sell them. I see these EVERY DAY. Can you fucking imagine. Also, they fall apart.
I guess the silver lining is that she has been scammed by people selling magical rare and valuable horses at a BARGAIN price on the internet to the tune of probably close to $100K by now, if you count the FABULOUS imported Frisian colt, who dropped dead at age 3 in his stall from a heart attack.
Man, I can rant all day about these idiots. Oh, CLICKER training is the new thing with her too. Her horses think she is 'Special.'

the jury is still out on which is best mac or pc

No. Mac is clearly cute and futuristic looking but the winner is the one being used by most of the world, the PC.

Its awesomehow much more attention I get from the opposite sex now that I own a Challenger!

The only chain video store in my town closed down a couple months ago and now apparently a Blockbuster is going to move in its place. Despite Rogers offering online rentals and now Netflix becoming available in Canada, Blockbuster Canada is still in business. I can't be bothered to go to an actual store, though, because we only ever get what is new and popular so far up North. It's even worse if you want to go to the cinema. We didn't even get The Social Network. It's always kiddie crap or the lamest horror films.

The Blockbuster we had here closed over a year ago. Sears just moved in and expanded the building.

I don't know how customer service was in other Blockbusters around the country but these people cut their own throats. The whole "If we don't have the new release you want, it's free next time." promotion they had? Not valid here.

If you turned in a movie two days late? The manager would actually berate you. Everyone in town called him the Blockbuster Nazi.

As far as business that won't die? Bars and pubs.

Profound stuff I enjoyed it. Someone else once said: Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.

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I would say Funeral Home / Mortician

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