Pajiba

Often, in real life, I'll get my sarcasm on, and when I finally turn it off I realize that I have been horribly mean and offensive. Actually, I do that online too. Well, in real life, it often means that I'm pretty quiet when I don't know people that well, which somehow seems to make them think I'm elitist and aloof. So I'd make a crappy presidential candidate.

Also, I talk entirely too much about really nerdy things that nobody's ever heard of [read: Doctor Who], and I think people get bored. I don't really care about that, though.

My greatest flaw is that I thought that picture was of Demi Moore, even after reading the part about Tom Cruise. Or maybe that's Tom Cruise's greatest flaw.

An ex-boyfriend dumped me for quoting Mean Girls and Arrested Development too much, that could probably be counted as a flaw - so sue me, I'm a 23 year old girl (20 at the time we were together)

I'm very critical of things, and the more other people around me like it, the more vocal I am about ruining it for everyone (for example, whenever the word Avatar is brought up, I go into violent fits of mouth rage and make people feel really stupid for liking it) I also enjoy being the person that sits in the back of class and shoots down everything other people in class say.

Also, when I am right about something, I will not stop until everyone recognizes that I am right, and even after all is said and done, I will run it into the ground that I was right the whole time.

I usually want to punch people like me in the face.

I'm apathetic. Most of my emotions are so subdued that the people around me get bored or upset. For some reason they think it's my fault for not meeting their expectations instead of theirs for having them. I've since started acting in order to remain social. Actually, the fact that I find it okay to constantly play a character in order to keep the people in my life entertained upsets me more. I'm kind of a dick, too.

For me, it's probably my insane need for correct pronunciation. I live in Bermuda, aka hack the shit out of the Queen's English land, and if you've ever visited, you'll have an idea of my pain. "-ere" words are pronounced "-er", so "here" becomes "her". "-ow-" words are pronounced "-uh-", do that "down" becomes "duuuhhhn".

Ear-bleedingly fucktastic.

So, I'm constantly correcting people, even total strangers, by repeating the word but pronouncing it as God intended. I figure, "Hey, you want to irritate me? Here's some of that right back at you!"

Maybe I'm just too anal...

Jerce: Dogs love that shit. Go nuts.

Jelinas, are you actually my sister?

I am rather self-centered. I'm shy and not very confident outwardly but still inwardly pretty pleased with myself. I sometimes realize this after having a conversation with someone and walking away knowing nothing more about them but having shared every detail of my life. Can I help it if my life is more interesting? Yes, I probably could try asking other people questions about themselves once in a while.

I'm also lazy. I chose my college solely based on the fact they gave me a full scholarship and I didn't have to apply for it. I could have gone to a better school but I didn't want to have to go to all that trouble. That's also why my degree is in English--because it was much easier and more fun to read literature than dry textbooks in another subject. I'm so lazy I'm doing this right now instead of a hundred other things I should be doing.

branded, would you classify yourself as a humble motherfucker with a big ass dick or would that be giving yourself too much credit?

I let other people's moods or opinions influence me too much. If I'm around another person for a while I start to sound like them. It's weird.

AHHHH, malikvlc I lived in Bermuda and you're so right! Maybe the worst accent ever.

I want things I can't have. I want them a lot.

Not like unicorns and shit, but real things.

Usually certain kinds of relationships or accomplishments, not so much material things.

I also let people walk all over me because I was raised to think of other people first and make them happy. I don't say that to pat myself on the back, either, I hate it. It pisses me off that other people take advantage of that side of me, but I feel like crap if I try and make people do what I want them to. It's a sickness.

I read too hard into things and take goddamn near EVERYTHING personally. Seriously, I can twist even the most objective statement into an insult. Which brings me to Fault #3: I cry way too easily. It's not a pretty combination.

I have three faults:

I mock people mercilessly, to their faces, behind their backs...wherever. Admittedly, I'm very funny while mocking, but very very cruel as well.

I never cry,which I only recently understood was considered a fault by my family.

I love sappy videos of cute kittens on the internet.

1 - I am inclined to cut other people entirely too much slack for their ignorance, stupid opinions & wasted lives.

3 - I'm right, and you all should just do what I say. Also, not the least bit judgmental.

2 - Not nearly direct enough.

I sit back and filter the pathway between my brain and mouth to a fault in real life. If there are more than three people in a conversation, I sit back and carefully plot what I'm going to say. This has the unfortunate side effect of people thinking I'm a stuck-up asshole constantly judging everyone else or completely disinterested in what everyone else is saying. As soon as person number four leaves, I'm back to sarcastic, quick-witted Robert keeping the conversation going. When new person number four shows up, I go practically mute. Which, again, the whole plotting angle that's rarely happening. It's part anxiety, part paranoia, and 100% pure Robert.

I have a really hard time following through on things and I have way too good a filter between my brain and my mouth (in real life at least). I almost can't help but tell people what I think they want to hear. Marriage is improving that, though ;-)

"I'm incredibly lazy. The only reason I can hold down a job is that I'm convinced that as soon as I am fired even one time my life will be over and I will end up a hobo."

Dear Todd,

Let's be friends.

Kisses,
Sarina

I'm pretty OCD, I take some things (especially music) waaaaay too seriously, and I crave recognition, so I'm constantly trying to be the best at everything. Many people see me as a hipster douchebag, and they're not entirely wrong. I promote myself so obsessively that I sometimes forget to be humble (please go to AudioSuede.com, by far the best music review website in the world, galaxy, and potentially universe) and have to force myself not to respond to unnecessarily harsh criticisms of my work or in any work in which I feel I have a personal stake. My memory's shoddy, I think I'm funnier than I really am, I'm overweight, my health is completely down the tubes, I'm bad with money, I want people to like me so much that I creep them out with my attempts to make them like me, it drives me insane when people I care about won't share in my nerdy obsessions, I hate being wrong about anything, I'm not a good cook (but I like to pretend that I am), I'm lazy, and I complain too much.

But at least I've got a girlfriend, bitches!

I'm brutally honest. The only way I can reign that trait in is through shutting my mouth in certain situations.

Also, I can't be bothered to remember names. On the other side, I can remember the tinyest facts about totally unimportant things (like the stats for BattleMechs from a game I played last about 15 years ago). Combine that with a tendency be a total smart-ass.

Yeah, right.

Hell, I sometimes even annoy myself.

Oh, lainiefig! You are my sister from another mister!

Unbelievable; we both became English majors for the exact same reasons. I'm so thankful that I'm that lazy, though -- deciding to major in English was one of my best decisions of all time. I loved it, even though I fell asleep in every class every day. It wasn't the subject matter; I think I might have sleep apnea.

Do you have sleep apnea, lainiefig??? That would just be too creepy.

So when are you inviting me to NY for a family reunion? I want to meet all of my nieces and nephews.

As an example of how obsessive I am, I've reloaded this page at least ten times since that last post to see if anyone's responded to me. Yeah. I have a problem.

Nope, don't think I have sleep apnea, Jelinas. Just really wacky dreams and I'm almost always still very tired when I wake up. I slept through sooo many classes in college, even the interesting ones. Come on over--wanna babysit? ;)

to quote Buffy Summers "I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex" actually now they are separate and live inside my mind like Dr. Jekill and Mister Hyde, I sometimes voice them, i'm lazy, immensely so, and I seam to have a very weird sense of humor (I didn't say it was good) that can easily offend people. But the best one is totally the sup/inf complex.

Lets see, where to begin with my flaws:

I can't deal with stupid, ignorant, vapid, rude people. Which consequently means I don't have a whole lot of friends my own age (I'm 25) as I feel way too old for them and find it hard to join in their inane conversations without rolling my eyes.

I read way too much into other peoples body language and what they say and convince myself that they hate me.

Along those self-absorbed lines, I also spend far too much time obsessing over my weight and wanting to be "hot". Vanity is a flaw, right?

Last one for now: I let people in too easily in some respects, but also push people away so they can't get too close to me emotionally.

Sigh. I suddenly feel so imperfect and my ego doesn't like it.

ChristianH, you sound just like one of my ex-boyfriends. ***shudder***
Posted by: lainiefig at February 10, 2010 5:51 PM

Well, seeing as only two women have ever put up with my bulls***, I doubt we've ever hooked up.

But who knows?

...Just kidding, I know we haven't. Which is good for you.

I haven't even looked at any of these yet, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that all or most of these occur several times.

"Everybody tells me that I am ________":

pretty cynical
narcissistic
always interrupting people
have very rare taste in music/fashion/movies/sex
annoyingly pessimistic
loud and obnoxious
extremely cynical
a hipster liberal
quiet and sheepish in public but very outspoken online
only slightly cynical, but maybe I just need a hug?

I begrudgingly admit to owning several of those attributes.

I have trust issues. I don't trust a single goddamn female on this entire fucking planet. Not a goddamn one.

Other then that...probably my initial shyness. Which, to the untrained eye, makes me look like a serial killer. Seriously, people will not come near me if I'm sitting at a bar by myself.

I have, um, really strong opinions.

About everything.

I love being RIGHT. About any and every thing. Don't argue with me about it. You will regret it.

And that is the GAYEST photo of Tom Cruise I've seen, ever.

I talk too fast.

And I tend to stop mid-sentence and start new sentences.

It is a bad combination.

Add to that a tendency to answer people's questions before they finish asking them, because other people talk too slow for me. This is fine when I get their question right, but about 20% of the time I am wrong, and thus piss people off.

Other than that I'm a fairly pleasant person. I like people to feel comfortable around me if at all possible, so I'll go out of my way to psyche out the best way to be non-offensive. If I can honestly make someone feel better about themselves so much the better. On my best days I can charm both little old ladies and cynical hipster douchebags. On my bad days I'm a nut who smiles and laughs too much.

lainiefig!!! Maybe you have sleep apnea!!!!

I've tried everything, and nothing helps me feel rested, no matter how good my night's sleep was. I've tried Breathe-Rite nose strips, sleeping longer, sleeping less, napping, changing my diet, exercising, different pillows -- nothing's helped! If you still feel super-tired when you wake up, maybe you have it, too!!

I once slept for twenty-seven hours. And, after I woke up, peed, and ate, I went back to sleep for ten more.

My flaws are many and varied, but to list them all would require too much energy so I will just list two:
#1. Apathy: I think I've managed to alienate every roommate I've ever had because whenever they tell me their problems I sit there with a bored look on my face.
#2. I have absolutely no patience for small talk and other inane conversation. Which invariably leads to me sitting in a corner by myself. (which is usually fine because the people who like small talk are people that I really do not want to be around.)

My flaws are as follows:

- I have the emotional depth of a flea and the maternal instincts of a maggot. Maybe this is why I'm single? Relatedly, I'm a really bad long-distance friend.

- I'm hyper-critical of almost everything and everybody, including but not limited to: punctuation and grammar, clothing and hairstyles, and accents (this is a sub-point of the second point -- I'm prejudiced against southern accents. I'm sorry, but you all sound mildly retarded). Anyway I typically have no problem letting everyone else know what I think of the above but usually while the offender isn't around. So really what I'm saying here is that I'm usually laughing behind your back.

- I pretend not to hold grudges but I secretly do. This may sound weird after the lack of emotional depth thing, but it's really more like I forget about the grudges and then suddenly remember them and get internally pissed. Like, "Oh yeah, that's the fucker that slacked off and made me do all that work that one time. Five years ago. What a douche."

I think I am extremely funny. Which isn't to say that I think other people think I'm funny (because I also have an inferiority/can't take compliments thing going on). But I REALLY amuse myself. And I will laugh at my own witty observations, even if I don't tell them to anyone.

FWIW, Optimus, you've made me laugh at your comments many a time. :)

I totally thought that was Nicholas Hoult in that picture up there. The resemblance is uncanny.

Character flaws? Yeesh, it'd be harder to list my character strengths, really. Not trying to be self-deprecating, I just have a lot to work on.

Just generally an asshole. That covers a whole range. I go from zero to yelling pretty damn quickly. I handle stress badly. I handle money extremely badly. oh, and I scan EE for comments by me, which let's admit is a total jerk move.

That cat was supposed to be a *dude*?!

Huh.

I'm an asshole at work because I'm making up for lost time from being a slacker for a decade after college. I view my co-workers as competitors, and I want to beat them.

i'm thin-skinned and reactive.

I want to please people too much, because I need their approval. I create unnecessarily stressful situations for myself. I'm hyper-critical, of myself and others. I'm stubborn as all get out. I try too hard to be funny.

i'm thin-skinned and reactive.

That sounds like a mint-tingle condom.
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I don't always make a lot of sense.

I'm a huge gossip - it doesn't matter if you're friend or foe, if it's juicy I've just got to share it. Often with embellishments to make it sound even juicier.

I'm a bitch - there's nothing I love more than ripping some one to shreds, but preferably behind their backs, which is another flaw.

I'm horrifically lazy, and as a consequence am forever making plans and then breaking them, as when it comes down to it I just can't be arsed. I'm surprised I'm asked to do anything any more.

Woah, lainiefig, I think we might actually be the same person, right down to the sarcasm and the English degree. I'm a little creeped out right now.

I'm mostly a lurker here, but I'm delurking to express that and to say that I thought I dreamt up the Getalong Gang, too! For years it would pop into my head, but I had no idea what it was called and so assumed it was just a series of nightmares I'd had as a child. I think it was here that I finally read the title (probably posted by Shadows) and had a minor brain-melt when I realized what it was. I still can't believe my granola, question-authority parents let me watch/read that crap.

I think the flaw which most annoys me is that I'm such a coward. Physically and otherwise.
I'm no good at anything sporty because I'm scared of everything - injury, falling, heights, ice, people on the other team trying to take me down, going too fast (especially downhill), being hit by balls (of the sport variety).... You name it, I fear it.

Non-physically, I hate confrontation. I simmer quietly when people act like douches in my vicinity, instead of telling them off. No doubt that fucks up my bloodpressure, but I can't seem to muster the balls to face them down. When I do say something (rarely), I overreact. So what could have been a simple 'Please turn down your music' turns into a screaming rant.
Basically, I'm a grumpy old lady, but I don't have the guts to fly my grump flag. I hate that about me, but can't seem to fix it.

As for what others might hate about me, well, I'm a loud, uninhibited drunk... ;-) You're in a bar and some Brit bird is loudly explaining to her table exactly what a spearmint rhino is, while the rest of the place cowers with embarrassment? That''ll be me! (True story. It was Father's Office, in LA.)

Wait, I think I see how to fix my confrontation issue - just be drunk all the time!

I am extremely empathetic. In some ways this is great- I know how people are feeling and I can make them comfortable and all that. On the other hand, I am severly affected by other people's moods and actions. I can go from having the best day ever to the worst by spending 15 minutes with a cranky person. I'm also way too oversenstitive a lot of the time. This makes me a bit of a coward, too. I'm so afraid of confrontation, because I know it'll just mess me up mentaly, that I avoid it at all costs, usually to my detriment.

I am also, however, very hard headed and stubborn. If I decide how something is going to be or go, I just don't hear anything else. I know this can be very frustrating for friends of mine.

I have a horrible tendency to sabotage myself. I set a goal and I bust my butt to get to it, but just as I get to a point where I can see the finish line and I know I can do it and I just do something stupid to shoot myself in the foot. It happens ALL THE TIME. I hate it but I don't know how to stop myself, I don't see that I'm doing it until just past the place where it's jacked to the point of basically needing to start over. The more I want something, the bigger I fuck it up.

I also procrastinate like no one else I know. It's rediculous.

Totally off-topic - but does anyone else think that Tom Cruise pic looks just like Kurt from Glee?