April 9, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Comment Diversions | April 9, 2008 |


According to Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate, there are two types of people in this world: Those who care about song lyrics (i.e., fascist textualists), and those who don’t. And never the two should mate and breed, a realization she only came to after we signed that goddamn contract tying us together until death unties us, something she often threatens to hasten when I ad lib my own lyrics, which I do for three reasons: 1) I rarely understand the actual lyrics; 2) I assume my lyrics must be better; and 3) because it pisses her off (in return, she speaks in idioms, because nothing irks me more).

So today, as suggested by Julia, let us discuss our favorite misheard lyrics. The most famous misheard lyric, of course, comes from “Blinded By the Light,” which includes the lyric, “reved up like a deuce, another runner in the night,” though most people understand the lyric to be, “wrapped up like a douche,” (Fun fact: Though the song was written by Bruce Springsteen, it was Manfred Mann’s Earth Band that made it a number one hit, which is — to this day — still Springsteen’s only number one). Julia offers Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock,” a song which includes this misheard lyric: “and the biggest dick I ever got” (though, to be fair, Julia’s version probably makes more sense than whatever Bernie Taupin came up with).

I have three, which have stuck for so long that I’m incapable of hearing anything else: 1) On Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer,” I only hear: “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not” and 2) on the Wallflowers “One Headlight,” I can only hear, “me and Cinderella, rubbed our cocks together, we can drive them home.” And third, my favorite, comes from Pearl Jam’s “Evenflow,” which has a lyric that goes something like this in my head, “Sittin’ butt naked on a porcupine made of concrete, yee-ahh!

Furthermore, I refuse to believe that The Band’s “Weight” refers to a woman named “Fanny.” It was and will always be, “Take a load off, Annie” because no one would write a song about a woman named Fanny (no offense to any of our readers with that Christian name).

So, what’s your favorite misheard lyrics — the more inappropriate, the better.

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Misheard Lyrics, a.k.a., "The Wrapped Up Like a Douche" Phenomenon

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles

Comment Diversions | April 9, 2008 | Comments ()



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