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Let's Go, But Inconspicuously, Through the Window

By Mrs. Julien | Comment Diversions | December 23, 2012 | Comments ()


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When I was a little girl, my beloved brother would point out lights in the night sky and tell me it was Santa's sleigh. I thought the brightest star was the Star of Bethlehem and returned every year. It was a magical time.

Now, I've got presents to wrap, eight kinds of cookies to make, and Maryland to drive to. Since "Christmas is for children", let's take a moment to remember what has been lost to us. No, not our childish sense of wonder, rather our lack of discrimination and taste.

Earlier this week, Three_nineteen, Sara_Tonin00, and I traded quotes from a movie I loved as a child, The Court Jester starring Danny Kaye. If you remember the film, you likely recognize this scene:

The Julien household was a formal one. There were only two things that meant we could eat a meal in front of the TV and The Court Jester was one of them. When Mr. Julien and I were courting, we rented it and snuggled up to watch, warm in our shared memories. It was even Christmas. The movie sucked. I mean it really sucked. It was limp, corny, and flat. We couldn't get through it.

The other movie that we were allowed to watch while we ate our hamburger bun pizzas* in front on the TV was the glory that is the 1966 Batman movie:

And you know, it still works. I suspect because it was always awful and we always knew it. When we were young we didn't care, and now that we're old we can be all wry'n' meta'n'sh*t. Yes, it's a bit slow, but while the silliness of The Court Jester isn't timeless, somehow ridiculousness of Batman is.

What childhood glory paled into insignificance when viewed with your older, jaded eyes? What held up? I call dibs on The Muppet Movie and Kermit singing "The Rainbow Connection". It just keeps getting better:

*Ketchup, garlic, and oregano on a hamburger bun topped with hot dog slices. I dare you to try and out-WASP my family. The Dowager Julien once mailed me Easter chocolate in a Scotch bottle sleeve.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • ,

    "Planet of the Apes." I insisted ,daughter watch it with me one late night and it was terrible. Maybe I didn't recognize the thick layer of cheese the first time around, 40 years ago, or maybe it was just terrible.

    "A Christmas Story" gets better every year. I laughed my ass off and teared up, often at the same time, last night as if I'd never seen it before.

  • I went through a big Last Unicorn phase as a child. Jeff Bridges can do many things, but singing swoony ballads might not be one of them.

  • dizzylucy

    I'm an 80s child, grew up on family sitcoms and stuff like Knight Rider, and am now fairly snobby about my TV watching. If I go back and try to watch any of those, especially with laugh tracks, it's fairly torturous.
    Except for Golden Girls - that one holds up to this day, and still makes me laugh.

    I love the old Batman. Especially in his Bat-trunks (I'm assuming that's how he would refer to his swim trunks).

  • kirbyjay

    I've always been a reader. I had a collection of Happy Hollister books when I was a kid that I devoured, they were always solving some mystery. The books were lost over time and a few years back I bought a bunch of them on EBay. I started to read one and thought " Good Gawd, these were written for a 7 year old"
    Also, Dark Shadows. I never missed an episode when I was a teenager, and then I watched it again on Nick at Nite recently. What a load of crap.

  • Bodhi

    The Happy Hollisters! I LOVED those books when I was a kid! I read every single one our library system had

  • POINGjam

    Return of the Jedi and the Indiana Jones movies are all lost to me. Can't get through them anymore. But the first Ninja Turtles is still great.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm with you on Jedi. I would think the first Indiana Jones would hold up.

  • pissant

    TMNT from 1990.

    I'm still blown away by how, uh, gritty the film* looks to this day. And the campfire scene? That's pretty sad/great. And I'm genuinely scared for Leonardo's life when Shredder points his spear thing at his neck. I know it ain't as hard as I've heard the original comics were, but Nolan ain't got shit on 1990 TMNT.

    * - and I mean the actual film...like, poor quality celluloid

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Fondly remembered from my childhood and still awesome:
    Flash Gordon
    The Hobbit and Return of the King (Rankin/Bass)
    Zorro, the Gay Blade
    Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

    Unfortunately now terrible:
    Thundercats (what the hell is with the RoBears? I did not remember them)

  • Quatermain

    When I was 12, 'King Solomon's MInes' with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone was with question THE coolest movie ever made. About a year ago, I found a used copy in the dollar bin at Cheapo(which should have been my first clue) so naturally I bought it and took it home. It took me about ten/fifteen minutes to realize that I was an idiot when I was 12.

    'The Lost Boys' still holds up really well, though.

  • Bodhi

    Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. It was on TV the other day & I got pretty pissed that they cut out a bunch of it.

    Also, The Blues Bothers, The Pink Panther (the scene where he crunch, crunch, crunches over the pills on the bathroom floor will make me laugh till the day I die), & Monty Python & the Holy Grail. My mom was pretty horrified that I soaked up my dad's musical & comedic tastes like a 7 year old sponge, but I loved spending the time with him.

    I later reciprocated by introducing him to Chasing Amy & Drop Dead Gorgeous & letting him steal my Jane's Addiction & Ramones cds. Mom was equally horrified when he blasted Jane's while working on the roof

  • Mrs. Julien

    Chasing Amy has one of the great "I love you" speeches of all time. (I had pasted it here, but it was way too big.)

  • Bodhi

    That movie is pure gold. The "sex talk on the swing set" scene was horribly awkward to watch with my dad as a high schooler (spell check corrects that as schooner. "Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat". Oh shit, wrong movie.)

    Several of his high school &/or college girlfriends ended up being lesbians & the bar scene at the beginning of the movie rang awfully true for him. And "Whats a Nubian?" sends the man into great gasping peals of laughter.

    We agree that my mother will never be old enough to watch it. Never, ever.

  • Anne At Large

    No, I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. The Court Jester is still good. STILL GOOD I SAY. And don't even talk to me about The Inspector General. Philistine.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    He also played the lead in a Hans Christian Andersen biopic. I seem to remember that that was pretty great (although I might have to watch it again to make sure).

  • pumpkin

    I love them both with all my heart.

  • e jerry powell

    I sprung forth from my father's head fully formed. I know not this childhood of which you speak.

  • QballK

    Which head may I ask?

    Both options sound extremely painful.

  • e jerry powell

    har har har

    I shall smite thee.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Athena?

  • Salieri2

    Boomer?

  • Salieri2

    I used to adore The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938). Loved every second. Alas, while "One of us? He looks like three of us!" is still funny, de Havilland's appalling accent and the perky cleanliness of it all just turns me off.

    Nothing will ever ruin Blazing Saddles for me, though.

  • Aislinn

    I grew up during the nineties, so the stuff I used to watch was Nicktoons - Hey Arnold, Ahh! Monsters etc - and stuff like Beast Wars and Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Nothing really stands out to me as something I wouldn't watch again...except Neon Genesis Evangelion, but that's mainly because most of it went over my head, when it wasn't haunting my dreams.

  • Bodhi

    I still love Rocko's Modern Life.

  • Ozioma

    'The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin.' I watched that show like my life depended on it, and I still remember the theme song. I happened to catch a snippet on YouTube the other day and the nostalgia glasses broke when I realized how shitty it was. Plus, the actual Teddy Ruxpin toy gave me nightmares.

    I think the only cartoon from my childhood that I can see myself still watching is 'Galaxy Rangers.'

  • ThePhantomGuinness

    "A bear in his natural habitat, a Studebaker," is still one of the greatest lines of all time. Continues to be so even now thanks to the Muppets. Also aged well, "The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show." God love "Aesops Fables" and "Fractured Fairytales."
    Has not aged well, Transformers. Man those are awful now.

  • Bodhi

    I loved watching Rocky & Bullwinkle with my dad. He watched when he was in the military & got a kick out of the fact that I loved it

  • ThePhantomGuinness

    There is enough adult humor in every episode, most of which aged well.Still creepy with Nell and Horse though.

  • Mad Monk

    The Danny Kaye bit was redone masterfully in an episode of the Awesome brotish sitcom "Allo Allo". Here it is:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Mitchell Hundred

    The TV show 'Yu-Gi-Oh'. I watched it pretty frequently in late elementary and early highschool. I used to think that it was so cool, with the tension building as duels dragged out over several episodes. And then when I saw an old episode of it about a year ago, I realized that it's actually really bad, burdened by an excess of expository dialogue and repetitive plots.

    On the other hand, I have yet to find an incarnation of the 'Power Rangers' franchise that is not hilarious because of its over the top earnest attitude.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    I also used to love 'Tintin in America', but now I realize that unlike Herge's excellent later work, it's pretty sloppily written and intermittently racist.

  • hippyherb

    Your comment made me smile. I used to watch Yu-Gi-Oh with my son. Also Dragonball Z, Pokemon and Beyblades. It was 'our' time before he went to school.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Heh, yeah. There was a lot of anime on TV at the time.

  • Nope, sorry, wrong The Court Jester is a classic bit of cornball comedy.

  • Empress of All The Russias

    I question your taste if you don't find it funny. Very tongue-in-cheek screwball stuff, a great spoof of medieval adventure flicks. And young Angela Lansbury is surprisingly hot. My family can quote it for ages.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Mr. Julien is capable of going on at great length about the sexiness of a young Angela Lansbury.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Yep. It makes so little sense that you can't help but laugh at it. How was the Black Fox able to storm an entire castle with an army composed almost entirely of little people?

  • gp

    the inspector general made me love kaye til the day i will die.

    and possibly up to 2 weeks after.

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