Pajiba

"I'm Buck Melanoma, Moley Russel's wart."

Also my favorite John Candy moment.

Damn.

"Answer the question, Claire!"

Every time I ask someone a question and they don't answer me right away, to this day, I always say "Answer the question, _______".

True Story.

Grace ...

GRACE!!

GRACE!!!!

"Shut up bitch! Get back in the kitchen and make me a turkey pot pie!"

or the classic...

"Cameron is so up tight, if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

"I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation."

"Boy, I wouldn't give a squirt of piss for your ass right now."

"I'd also like to add that I've got my father's gun and a scorching case of herpes."

"You mess with the bull you get the horns"

Always my favorite.

"You're not dying; you just can't think of anything good to do."

"Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?" and "Uh, Dick? Excuse me; Rich. Will milk be made available to us?"

I say these as often as possible.

"I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts."

"You know what the gourmet here wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they're made of, Chet? Huh? Lips and assholes!"

"They all think he's a righteous dude."

"His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name! "

"This is an incredibly romantic moment, and you're ruining it for me!"

I love Duckie.

X is so sweet. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

Since admin stole mine (it was actually used in two John Hughes movies), I have to go with "So that's how it is in their family!"

"You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitro-glercin plant."

At least you do not have to sleep under someone name after a duck's dork.

One of my favorite Hughes speeches, stolen from imdb:

"You know, everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!"

Poor Del.

Two come to mind:

“Anything more than a handful and you’re risking a sprained thumb”

"You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals."

And that's just 2 out of a hundred in the same movie. Not to mention the zillions in the others. The man was a fucking genius, whatever you think of his movies. RIP!

"Where is my auto-mobile?"

"Lake... big lake"

Oh thanks Rowles, I was wondering when the next UFC fight going to be.

"We don't have a candy machine in the boy's room!" and pretty much everything else Duckie said.

"...demented and sad, but social."

from pretty in pink-

(young shoplifter, holding cheek): "you missed my eye by an inch!"

(annie potts, holding staple gun): "HALF an inch."

I can't believe that he was actually involved in all of those - I guess I live under a rock and never realized.

I was gonna say "four fucking wheels and a seat", but someone beat me to it. Oh well. Although I did enjoy the whole "you're going the wrong way!" "how would he know?" part. "Truck! Truck! Truck!"

How's about these:

Andrew: Why do you have to insult everybody?
Bender: I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.

Bender: Why'd you do that?
Claire: 'Cause I knew you wouldn't.

Bender: You are a bitch.
Claire: Why? 'Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?
Bender: No. 'Cause you know how shitty that is to do someone, and you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell them you're gonna like who you wanna like.

Sorry, "The Breakfast Club" is my favourite.

“I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. That still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism - he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles - I just believe in me". A good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people.”

"Screws fall out all the time, it's an imperfect world..."

How I miss movies like John Hughes' films.

Most quoted in the Hulk household (from Christmas Vacation):
"Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?"
"I don't KNOW, Margot!"

Funniest (from Sixteen Candles):
"Fred, she's gotten her boobies! Oh, and they are so PERKY!"

Most touching (from the terribly underrated She's Having a Baby):
"And in the end, I realized that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found, but to be made."

And, finally, the one that always makes me cry like a baby (when the Bird Lady receives the turtle dove in Home Alone 2):
"Oh, Kevin."

"Yeah, you."

"you look good...wearing my future."

Claire Standish: What's your name?
John Bender: What's yours?
Claire Standish: Claire.
John Bender: Claire?
Claire Standish: Claire. It's a family name.
John Bender: Oh, it's a fat girl's name.

I know some beautiful girls named Claire, but every time i meet a Claire, I think "Claire's a fat girl's name"

Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen anything good today - Cameron Frye, this one's for you.
Danke scheon...

"Dong, where is my automobile?"

"A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile."

So many of the good ones have been listed! Here's one of my all-time favorites:

"I have such a DEEP admiration for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys."

"A, you can never go too far and b, if I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like THAT."

Ferris Bueller is my guide to life.

Principal Ed Rooney: So THAT'S how it is in their family.

What could almost be a throwaway line at the end of a scene has made me laugh harder than pretty much any movie that didn't star the Marx Brothers or Monty Python. It just sounded exactly like something I would say, and Principal Rooney was so wonderfully judgy without really seeing what he was talking about...

Oh John Hughes, you captured my teenage era a good 10-15 years before I lived it. Thanks for the insight and the warning.

Bueller.
Bueller.
Bueller.
Bueller.

Can't believe no one picked the obvious (unless I read over it):

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

True that.

And my favorite closing line of a movie:
"You're still here? It's over!"

'Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am?'

Boy in Police Station: What's your name?
Jeannie: It's Jean, but most guys call me Shauna. *Ooooooo ShawNA*

Sloane: Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo.

Honestly people, I'm beginning to wonder if I haven't just died a little inside. This has got to be the most awful thing about getting older - people leave. Ones you just thought were great in the abstract forever. It's belittling.

"She's into malakas, Dino."

"Gary took a shit." *slam!* *slap!*

"Oh, Gary! You said you were doing your hair!"

Oh man. I have to pick just one????
The Breakfast Club is the origin of most of my movie quotes...
this is one of my faves:

Bender: Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?

& Mattie - whenever I meet a Claire, I think the exact same thing...

uncle buck
do you take third party out of state pay cheques?

Oh oh and "You saw me? I thought you were catatonic."

God, and "I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life."

Man I love Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[singing] "When Cameron was in Egypt land...Let my Cameron go!"

The husband sings this if Ferris Bueller's Day Off is on TV or referenced in any way. Definitely my favorite John Hughes movie. I spent a good portion of time and plenty of energy trying to be that cool in High School.

Oops...sorry. Didn't see that Joe already posted that one. Bears repeating, though. :-)

A few more from "Sixteen Candles:"

-Wait, black and white. It would
capture the moment so nicely. Oooh...WILL YOU TAKE THE PICTURE ALREADY!?!?

-I know I came on kinda like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything.

-Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. I mean, you could come back next fall as a completely normal person.

*Sigh...* I was actually 16 when this came out. Thank you, John Hughes. :'-)

I cannot believe no one has posted MY FAVORITE MONOLOGUE EVER!

Bender: Son? Yeah Dad! How's your day pal? Great Dad, how's yours? Super! Say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend? Great dad, but I've got homework...That's ok son, you can do it on the boat! Gee! Dear, isn't our son swell? Yes dear, isn't life swell? *kiss* *kiss*. Punch.

and also

Andrew: Two hits. Me hittin' you, you hittin' the floor.

"What do you two little maniacs want to do first?"

"The Sausage King of Chicago?"

"Can we keep this between us....I'd hate to lose my teaching job."

"Stop hitting people with your Rex Harrison hat!"

"It must be a hen house, because all I see is chicken shiiiiiit."

"How long have you been a lez-bee-yun?"

"You break his heart, I'll break your face."

Oh, God, too many to choose from. JH movies defined my youth. I wrote a play recently about the 80's and without his work, my script would have been about a page long. Damn......Thanks. John. Now, there is only one thing left to say,

"I WEEP for the future."

"Pardon my French, but you're an asshole! ASSHOLE!!!"

"DRINK IIIT" from Weird Science. It's still the toast I always offer.

Just wanted to give the underappreciated Blanche Baker props for the wedding scene in "Sixteen Candles"...

"Love the teapot"
"I know you"

I'm overwhelmed with sadness for the passing of Mr. Hughes. I wouldn't have made it through high school without him!

Ferris: (tootles horribly on clarinet) "Never had one lesson."

"Don't threaten me Al. You're out of shape. I'll kick your ass."

"So, my dad's a plumber. And, well, dad, you plumb. . . ."

This thread is making me so happy and so fucking sad. Some of my favorites have been listed, but I don't care:

"Oooooh sexy GIRLFRIEND!!"

"When Cameron was in Egypt's land...let me Cameron goooooooooo."

"Can I eat?"
"I don't know...give it a try."

"Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is."

"Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good."

"If whoever was in this house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the police. I'd also like to add that I've got my father's gun and a scorching case of herpes."

"My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines. Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows...and I'm liking them!"

"Big bear chase! BIG BEAR CHASE ME!!"

Sixteen Candles, Grandpa in re: Long Duk Dong:

"What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he's not retarded."

Offensive on so many levels...and yet totally fucking hilarious.

Oh! And last night I had the craziest coincidence ever. I've been watching the show Psych lately, so last night I put on the next season 3 episode on the Netflix disk I have and it happened to be titled "Murder?... Anyone?... Anyone?... Bueller?" The entire episode was an ode to John Hughes. Shawn even wore a picture of Bender on his shirt at his high school reunion. I have to admit, the episode made me tear up.

Best thing about Hughes: his teenagers were so fucking intelligent and literate and articulate. Who else has created a more renaissance punk than Bender? Bender wasn't necessarily likable, but damn if he wasn't mesmerizing. Hughes could even make you empathize with the popular kids. That's a feat unto itself!

"I wanna be just like you. All I need is a lobotomy and some tights."
-John Bender, The Breakfast Club.

Not a line, but a favorite moment...something that makes me chuckle whenever I see school drinking fountains.

It's the scene in 16 Candles when Joan Cusack, wearing a retainer, tries to get some water.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI3yySEmM8I

Principal (seeing a Cubs game on the TV): "What's the score?"

Counterman: "Nuttin-nuttin."

Principal: "Who's winning?"

Counterman: "The Bears."

"I'm earning my keep. Uncle Buck's got me bustin' my hump. He says hard work will put hair on my chest. At least I'm learning a trade."

- Where do you live?
- In the city.

- Do you own a house?
- Apartment. Rent.

- What do you do for a living?
- Lots ofthings.

- Where's your offiice?
- I don't have one. I don't need one.

- Where's your wife?
- Don't have one. It's a long story.

- Do you have kids?
- I don't. It's an even longer story.

-Are you my dad's brother?
-What's your record for questions asked?

- Thirty-eight.
- I'm your dad's brother.

You have more nose hair than my dad.

- Nice ofyou to notice.
- I'm a kid. That's myjob.

Cameron: "The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion..."

Ferris: "It is his fault he didn't lock the garage."

Sigh, my favorite movie of all time. RIP John Hughes.

"You always hurt the ones you love."
"So when are you going to beat the shit out of Amanda Jones?"

"Ease up, Dad. Any fool can get into a college. Only a precious few may say the same about Amanda Jones. Am I wrong?"

"You know how much damage we could do to each other in an hour?"
"It's kind of a revolting thought, actually."
"Really? What's revolting mean?"
"Oh, God. Get your hands off me, man."
"Does that mean you wanna come over?"

-Some Kind of Wonderful

No one posted this yet? Was no one a teenage girl? Sheesh people...

"That's why they call it a crush. If it felt good, they'd call it something else."

From Mr Mom
"So are you gong to wire it 220?"

"220, 221 whatever it takes."

John Hughes is one of the best directors of all time. I had a Ferris Bueillers Day "Leisure Rules" poster on my wall as a kid. Who didn't want to be Ferris? I was the geek in the movie "The Breakfast Club" and proudly served as VP of my high school Computer Club. I actually was arrested for computer hacking and had my computer confiscated by the local police department. You could probably write a "John Hughes" movie about my life. Anyway too many favorite quotes to do them all. Everyone got all the main movies covered which are also my favorites so I will include a couple of things from his other awesome movies.

The Great Outdoors

[Kate and Roman run out of their bedroom]
Roman: What?
Kate Craig: It touched me!
Roman: It's been touching you for 12 years, you never freak!
Kate Craig: Not you!
[Kate hits Roman on the arm]
Kate Craig: A thing.
Roman: What thing?
Chet: [Comes out of his bedroom, along with the rest of the family, and turns on the lights] What's going on?
Kate Craig: That thing!
[Points to a large bat]
Roman: Oh, it's just a little sparrow.
Kate Craig: C'mon Roman, it's got ears!
[Everyone screams and runs out of the cabin]

Mr. Mom

Jack Butler: My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows, and I'm liking them! I'm losing it.

She's Having a Baby

Russ Bainbridge: [to Jake] If you're gonna piss your life away writing some goddamn book that no one is ever gonna give a crap about, why did you have to involve my daughter? Let's say she gets pregnant. What are you gonna do? Three can't live on what you make. Two can't live on what you make.

God Bless John Hughes and his family and all of the awesome actors and actresses involved in his work! I know God and him are probably watching "Home Alone" together as we speak laughing out loud.

"I'd bet my hands on it."

AND

"this is what my girlfriend would look like without skin"

This is all so bittersweet - RIP John Hughes.

I've never seen Weird Science . . . I'll spend my weekend's shame allowance on a Hughes marathon and put that one at the top of the list.

Wheeeee, shame allowance! If I've been good all week I get at least 1/2 a Sunday to wallow.

"I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads, Ken. That's serious." -- Jack Butler, Mr. Mom

"Shitter's full!" - - Cousin Eddie, Xmas Vacation

She lives in Niagara Falls, you wouldn't know her.

"You're stewed, buttwad."