February 6, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Comment Diversions | February 6, 2008 |


Living where I do — in the middle of fucking nowhere, geographically speaking — any car trip outside of town is necessarily a long car trip, what with actual civilization existing nowhere within a 4 hour radius (unless you count Syracuse, NY, which I don’t - no offense, Orangemenpeople). And now that I have a family and all, long spells alone in my car are a rare occurrence. But a couple of weeks ago, forced to drive to Syracuse to catch a plane that wasn’t toy-sized, hand-cranked, or required a running start of some sort, I found myself alone in an automobile for the first time in months.

And you know I rocked that shit, right? Air-drummed the steering wheel, banged my head like a goddamn ninny, and bellowed like a tone-deaf motherfucker playing Wembley stadium. I cranked that shit up, hooked up the iPod, hit shuffle, and skipped past all that weak shit. I had 90 minutes, goddamnit, and I wasn’t about to waste it on the usual alt-whiskey, croony, maudlin bullshit I have a tendency to listen to in the comfort of my own home. I needed Interstate Anthems, bitches. Clearly enunciated, simple (dumb) lyrics with a huge singability quotient and bombast. Lots and lots of bombast.

You feelin’ me? Five interstate anthems. Give them up, y’all.

I’ll start:

1) “Don’t Stop Believing,” Journey. There ain’t no better belt-your-brains out song in the world. For four minutes, I’m a city boy born and raised in South Detroit.

2) “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” Def Leppard. Nonsensical, easy-to-understand lyrics. “Take a bottle, shake it up … mumble mumble upple mumble UP!”

3) “Once in a Lifetime,” Talking Heads. If sung correctly (with David Byrne flourishes), it’s the perfect song to freak out other drivers passing you by.

4) “Flagpole Sitta,” Harvey Danger. The drums people! The drums!

5) “Black Cadillacs,” Modest Mouse. How much fun is it to belt out, “We were done done done with all the fuck fuck fucking around” while traveling at 80 mph?

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Interstate Anthems

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles

Comment Diversions | February 6, 2008 | Comments ()




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