Pajiba

Giant “Cheese Castles” that sell “American Cheese” made primarily of “corn oil, yellow coloring #3, and dehydrogenated artificial cheddar-like flavoring.”

God bless the squeeky cheese curd.

Well, the majority of our family travels were only to the Eastern Shore of MD, where my Dad's whole family lives.

So, yeah, we got Mickey D's if we were lucky. Actually, as kids, that was a treat.

On the other hand, my mom's family mostly lives in SoCal, so nowadays that means at least one trip to In n Out.

well, since canada day ("dominion day" ) was on wednesday, i'll say that traveling from the maritimes to ontario (my two homes) is fun when one passes through rural quebec. it's so strange (and wonderful) to all of a sudden be within canada and encounter absolutely no english speakers, signs, radio stations, etc... And despite what i've been told by others, i've found the quebecois to be very generous to me while i try to practice my french language skills.

when i lived in the states, travelling through michigan (where i went to school) scared the crap out of me. detroit was fine, but much of the rest of the state was a hunting, confederate flag waiving, militia loving time bomb.

California: Not buying fireworks that are in any way fun or dangerous because this whole stupid fucking state is kindling

we beat your asses in WWII

OK, I'll bite: weren't we on the same side in WWII? So technically wouldn't it be more along the lines of "we saved your asses in WWII"?

BarbadoSlim - although Joseph Kennedy (and who knows how many other Americans) might have wished it were otherwise, you were actually on the same side as us Brits in WW2. But hey, have a great Independence Day!

Posted by: lizzieborden at July 3, 2009 2:32 PM

Posted by: Toby at July 3, 2009 2:39 PM

Ha! riiight, typical liberals propaganda, those of us who were on the ground KNOW what went down. It was America versus everybody else. And we kicked everybody's ass.

*cue me some Star Spangled Banner the Wu re-mix, Phil*

Yay, something to do! But being of the Canadian persuasion, I don't have much to add. But if Bslim really wants to discuss history, perhaps we should further discuss the War of 1812? It's one our favourites up here in "we-have-to-work-this-Friday-because-our-holiday-was-on-Wednesday" Canada...

No travels for Independence Day here, either. My entire family lives in Pennsylvania, and we get together for grilling, drinking, and shooting off our own fireworks. It does suck, though, that we have to go out-of-state to get the good fireworks. Curse you, PA, and your disapproval of fun things like crazy big fireworks and selling alcohol in grocery stores. (Not really related, but a pain in the ass nonetheless.)

Oh, BSlim! I *heart* you. Happy Independence day, dude.

Lay that beat down, Phil. We gotta get it rockin' all up in this joint, yo.

In *my* part of NJ, where I pretend White Asstle doesn't exist anyway, we have a lovely lovely fireworks display in pretty much every town. The one in my town I can see from my yard, so I can get drunk in the privacy of my own home and not have to deal with stupid traffic. Tomorrow night, we'll go over to the show they have a few towns over, which is pretty huge and awesome for a smallish town. There's probably going to be a BBQ each day. Mostly, I plan to consume lots of Sapphire & tonic and sleep, read, and watch movies. I don't believe in traveling (far) on holidays, because there are already too many crazies on the road. I think a couple of friends are going down the shore, which.... good luck with that, guys. I'll text you.

I'm pretty sure I've commented on the laser light show at Stone Mountain Park in Atlanta before (shout-out to Jay!), but it's extra hokey and insufferably patriotic on the 4th of July Independence Day. Although there are no big plans this year, we've had a semi-tradition in years past of going to amusement parks on I.D. (Great America, Cedar Point, etc.) -- they're surprisingly uncrowded on an otherwise "off" day. As for roadside gustatory delights and other quaint parochialisms....there are too damn many to list. Fried Snickers bars at our county and state fairs (later this month) are off-the-charts disgusting. People are weird everywhere.

California: We don't celebrate the bourgeois Independence Day, instead we celebrate Comrade's Day with tofu, arugula, and BBQ free range aborted fetuses. After an afternoon of surfing and obligatory gay orgies we settle in to listen to the Grateful Dead, fondle harbor seals, and smoke joints rolled out of pages torn from bibles.

July 4th has always just been my bro's birthday to me. And I very nearly forgot to send him a card. I'm sure you're all relieved to know I got to the post box in time. Phew.

Also, I wonder what would happen if we tried to have an England Day. Other than the Irish one upping us with their own day and us being all ashamed to be English but getting shit faced anyway and waking up with a tattoo of the Queen on our butt...Or we could all sit around and drink tea and eat scones...Mmm scones.

To be honest, Mr. Stardust and I have never taken an Independence Day road trip until today. We've got a yearly pass to all Florida State Parks, so we're going to some natural springs today. But tomorrow, we aren't doing much of anything. There is a great fireworks display at the Castillo de San Marcos, but when you live in the oldest city in the United States fireworks displays for Independence Day tend to be packed asshole to elbow.

As you move North up California, the Subways that carry pepperjack cheese and Jalapeno Cheddar bread become progressively more and more scarce. By the time you reach San Francisco, the employees don't even know what you're talking about...

Well, Connecticut does suck in that the "package" stores (we aren't allowed to acknowledge in public that we buy liquor) are closed ridiculously early, closed on Sundays, and it's actually an anomaly that this year we can buy liquor on Independence Day because it falls on a Saturday.

On the plus side, we can be trusted to pump our own gas and we are allowed to buy fireworks. Freedom baby!

My Independence Day:

Sunny - Walking around empty hallways at the multiplex where I work.

Rainy - Trying my best to stay sane while the multiplex is packed with every malcontent that has the day off.

Had to pick a job where I work every holiday. But I do plan on breaking in my friend's new kegerator once I punch out.

Figgy, You're going to get SOME kind of holiday out of all the fun down there, aren't you? Even if it's something like the old Soviet May Day, I say: Any excuse for a party.

BTW, some night you should sneak out and paint one of the tanks Godtopus blue. And then maybe drive it around for awhile. Like up to Texas. Point the barrel at the border guardhouse and say, "People with blue tanks don't need no stinkin' green cards, now, do they?"

California: Not buying fireworks that are in any way fun or dangerous because this whole stupid fucking state is kindling

reservations, cough, cough, reservations ...

explaining why Quebec is a distinct society in Canada

Where's this "Quebec" you're referring too? admin is in Saskatchewan and I'm in Alberta, so just add Manitoba and British Columbia and we're good. Oh, and Newfoundland. Them boys is fun to drink with!

Oh jeez, I apologize for all the States-baiting we're doing...it's kinda hard for us Canadians since we haven't quite figured out our national identity - except that we're NOT AMERICAN! But we love you. Well, we love the PajibanAmericans...and maybe a few others.

So, in conclusion...have a GREAT DAY!

*ahem* Xtreme, I believe you forgot something. Like oh, I don't know, Nova freakin' Scotia?! Believe me, we Cape Bretoners give our Newfoundland neighbours a run for their money in the drinking department!

Also, we should keep Quebec. Or at least Montreal--Jeremy's one of us, eh.

Isn’t it great that on Independence Day that cunt from Wasilla is taking it on the chin?

I've never done any traveling, or anything exciting at all, really, for the Fourth. But tomorrow I get to experience one of NY's lovely quirks: free concert in Central Park (Jenny Lewis!). Soon to be followed/accompanied by getting smashed and making out with strangers, another perk NYC graciously provides.

Oh Canada, you tease. You're so cold.

Not on the west coast, baby! We hardly get any snow. And right now, my patio is a lovely 82.4 F and features sliced watermelon, a book, and very little clothing.

instead we celebrate Comrade's Day

I thought that said Conrad's Day, and I got SO EXCITED.

It must be so cool to celebrate Independence Day in when the weather is nice! Ours is in September, and it always rains. Blah!

Here's a diversion to chat about:

The unfounded idolism of the following on this website:

1. Cohen Brothers
2. Seth Rogen
3. Judd Apatow
4. Tina Fey
5. Asshole actors that have co-starred with Will Farrell or Steve Carrell
6. Alec Baldwin
7. South Park
8. There Will Be Blood
9. Christian Bale
10. Napoleon Dynamite

And begin........

And in "appreciating our independence" news, from today's AP:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin made a surprise announcement Friday that she is resigning from office at the end of the month, raising speculation that she would focus on a run for the White House in the 2012 race.

Leaving party affiliation aside, am I the only one who thinks this particular candidate might benefit from a couple more years of actual, you know, experience in public office?

Fuck it. I've been president of my HOA for two whole years now and a blue shirt really sets off my eyes on television. Apparently, I'm qualified to run for president. One drawback, however: No one in my immediate family has done something hideously inconsistent with my personal politics in the last few years.

I've been president of my HOA for two whole years now and a blue shirt really sets off my eyes on television. Apparently, I'm qualified to run for president.

If I've waged a guerrilla war against my HOA for the last two years, am I qualified to lead the resistance that overthrows your reign of terror? I mean, I have asthma and I can almost see Mexico from my house, so I'm like Che all over again.

Eyvi: Dude, they're Americans. Haven't you ever heard that joke that ends, "And America didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant."?

On Canada Day I gave people rides on my horse. And only because my mother's friends were over, so I actually got a break from the constant free labour I'm doing until I can move to Toronto this August.

Also, didn't we Canadians burn down the White House at some point?

didn't we Canadians burn down the White House at some point?

Nah, you burned down White Castle during the infamous Battle of Buffalo.

@socalled: That exam sounds like gotcha journalism to me. Real American candidates only get their news from the Bible and the radio. And although Mexico might exist, I find the evidence compelling that South America is an absurd liberal myth, much like the moon.

I just had a vision of the Canadian Contingent dancing with bottles of maple syrup to the syncopation of "Never Gonna Get It" by En Vogue.

Then I went back to drinking beer, checking on my gigantic pot of chili, and getting ready to go watch some STUFF BLOW UP. This would follow up last night's activities of square dancing to Dexy's Midnight Runners, wondering why the President of my HS class was wearing a baseball uni at 2am, and speculating whether the bartender at an empty bar who wouldn't let us use their loo was really Julia Sweeney as Pat.

Michael Bay approves of my holiday.

Argh, what is with the rain these days, samma? It's just getting ridiculous! Ah well, at least we can stay in our homes and drink. Cheers!

New Jersey: No “secret sauce” on White Castles reducing a previously delicious snack to a steamed unknown substance on bread.

Oh, Jersey. You get more and more gross every year.

Don't blame us. We didn't come up with the most disgusting fast food menu in the history of America. Hamburgers steamed on onions sold by the case? Sacks of chicken rings? Fish nips? Ewww...

Thank God we don't have any near this part of NJ.

@ malechai: I've developed a strategy to avoid getting my blood sucked clean out of my body by mosquitoes. The minute I get to my cottage, fashion a makeshift Haz-Mat suit made from the one sweater I ever bring and the leftover Webber's wrappers. I run like the wind into the cottage. Then, I root through my duffel bag for my bikini. I put that on, and then, bracing myself, I run down the stairs, across the doc and into the lake. I ensure I am completely submerged. Then I don't emerge until it's time to go home.

Life-threatening? Possibly. Impossible? Definitely. Effective? better than abstinence.

(Webber's RULES!)

We need more buildings in the shape of other things.

The problem isn't that buildings aren't shaped like things, it's that they are all shaped like the same thing. Every city in the world is a collection of enormous concrete erections.

Every city? I'd think just the Emerald City, unless your penis has painfully sharp edges.

I mean, I have asthma and I can almost see Mexico from my house, so I'm like Che all over again.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at July 3, 2009 6:18 PM

How exactly does being California's answer to Sarah Palin (Sarita Palinho?) make you like Che, stipe42 SLW?

You sound more like Dani to me...Dani California!

Hey The Wanderer, I didn't know there was another Floridian active on this site! I don't go to titty bars since I'm a hetero woman, but if I did the closest place would be Jacksonville.

When I used to work in Jacksonville I had co-workers that would go to titty bars for lunch. And then prowl for cougars at happy hour. Yeah....I don't work at that place any more.

SaBrina- Trust me, i live in Seattle and there is definitely a very sharp edge on the space needle, mainly in the form of a 25-foot spike on the top.

Although, on that note, i actually live a little less than a block from said phallic symbol and will spend my independence day in the traditional Seattle manner; getting sloppy-drunk on jager-bombs and yelling "our country is better than yours and you guys better stop grabbing my ass or i'll cram that noise-maker down your throat"-themed obscenities while watching the fireworks shooting from the top of that big silver dick like a fiery orgasm. Here's to that very special blend of Homophobia and xenophobia that only the good old U.S. of A. can create! Go America!

Well, crap.. I have lived in Texas 9 years and while I have never had my husband be asked to "check his gun at the door", I know that most people (I almost said "folks"- urg)just drink copious amounts of beer and shoot fireworks off. That being said, we are celebrating the 4th by having our first baby sitter in the Gibaby's 9 months of life. So, I am equal parts nervous and excited. What do adults do without kids these days? I seem to have forgotten...

Louise - http://www.pajiba.com/music/funeral-songs.php

In case that link disappears when I post this, click on the "Music" tab at the top and it's the 5th article down.

Thank you, Lainey! I was searching in the wrong place!

Thanks Lainey, i was happy, now i'm sad :(

As an American who lived in Canada (on the West Coast, too!), all I have to say about the rest of the world is this, a mantra which my fellow Americans discovered while living outside the country:

Bitches be jealous.

Hahaha smatt584 I meant the Wizard of Oz emerald city. I'd link to a picture but I am very drunk.

Off topic much? I thought this was a thread on regional food quirks.

Let's just hope at the end of his term, President Obama was everything you wished for, people. And you over there, yeah you Brits, Canadians and the like, we the people of these United States would happily stay out of your business, go talk to our blessed government and see how far you get.

I mean, I have asthma and I can almost see Mexico from my house, so I'm like Che all over again.

That's my line, motherfucker. I live in New Mexico, and am only... 100 miles from a plane that can take you the remaining 300 miles to El Paso....

Fuck, I live in the middle of nowhere.

Hey, why is it that whenever, they only ever talk about North Florida. I live just south of Ft. Lauderdale, in a place all you Canadians should know and love, Hollywood Beach.

Now, I don't wanna hear all you Canadians pissin and moanin about the US not wishing you a happy Canada day, because Hwood celebrates that shit EVERY YEAR! (Because here, for most of the year, the are more Canadians than Americans in our great, which was voted the best American city in 2007, because we cleaned our beach.)

Now, I went to Canada day once (by mistake) and there, on our glorious stage that is painted with sea creatures, was a man who looked like Gerard Depardieu in a black sequined shirt, speaking in French to a ton of over 55's who were very baffled. I mocked him, in the way ignorant Americans do, with my patented Frenchie laugh... and then HE DID IT! And the audience gave him a polite golf clap! That, I wish I knew french.

Then the singing started...

Anyway, South Florida is abit special, because aside from titty bars, we have pawn shops, liquor stores and car dealerships. Furthermore our churches come in at least 3 languages (English, Spanish and French/Creole... however Romanian also exists here in Hollywood.)

In closing, I believe the reason the rest of the country forgets about South Florida, is because your gonna fuckin move down here when you retire. Honestly, people goggle when I tell then I was born here, because no one ever is.

Kballs, We look just like Australia upside-down, don't we? Which makes perfect sense if you think about it ...

Somebody in my neighborhood decided to get the Fourth off to a raucous start by chainsawing some shit at 8:30 in the morning. If I can find out who it was, he's getting an M80 through the window at 2 a.m.

Robert, I am right there with you... I avoid three of those 4 (P-town, Clifton, and 17) like the plague. LIKE THE PLAGUE. (I take back roads to the GSP, and only if I can go on a weekday.) Unfortunately, my sister has lived in Jersey City for the last 10 years or so, and I have a friend who lives in Hasbrouck Heights; those are the only occasions on which I cannot avoid 17, and I have had those locations invade my eyeballs. Funnily enough, I worked in Nanuet for almost a year before I knew that one was there... someone I work with told me it was, and I looked on my way home that day, and sure enough, there it sits. I have never even had the slightest urge to stop in. I only know about the other 2 through the magic of Google.

P.S. Who let the troll in?

Ling -
Pit stop... but Webber's is now 1/2 hour away!!!

Yeehaw!!!

@Optimus Rhyme Yes!!! That would in fact be the laugh I was talking about! Honestly, I didn't really believe people laughed like that...

If you will excuse me, I am driving to my parents, having lunch with their friends (transplant from Geogia) so I get real Southern BBQ for lunch, then dinner at my friends (transplant from CT) and her husbands family (Cuban) for some burgers and lots (and lots) of alcohol. w00t!

Multi-somethingism rules!

meaux, my Canadian darling, you are welcome to come see me in The Jerz any old time. It gets short shrift an awful lot, but it's got beautiful areas too. It's not all big hair, factories, and shopping malls. Plus, close to NYC. We'd love to have you. (If ya know what I mean... *wink wink*)

Dear Lori,

Don't let the door hit you in the ass ... on second thought, do.

Sincerely,

Good morning, USA.

To celebrate your birthday, even though I'm not partaking in the fireworks and BBQ you are enjoying,I will celebrate it the best way I know how:

I will make burgers, and then I will drink, and then I shall watch Independence Day.

YEAAAAAAAAA!

WHY IS IT RAINING? damn you, oklahoma, i was supposed tp be drinking all day (like those plans have changed)

also, did anyone see today's Rubes?
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/uclickcomics/20090704/cx_crrub_uc/crrub20090704

it just reminded me of pajiba. see, the fat dude in the inner tube is the latest offering from michael bay. the sharks are eloquents. HA!

*wakes and bakes*

Oh Lori, you're a delight! Thanks for stopping by. No, it's cool, you don't need to come back later. We're good. Thanks though. Yep, ok, bye-bye.

Meaux & Jer, can you guys bring admin with you when you head down this way? I have no idea where you all live relative to each other and I'm not going to bother looking it up, because well, that just wouldn't be the American way of doing things. I'd prefer to remain ignorant. Ignorant AND proud of it!

And back on topic, I need to go buy some sparklers for tonight... You can buy fireworks all over the place in Northeast Ohio. As you drive out into the country parts, there a billboards up all along the farm areas advertising fireworks. I've never bought any, but I certainly hear & see them all around my neighborhood.

my independence day consist of going to visit my extended relatives thengoing form there to a highschool football area and watching fireworks listening to a band and getting recognized as Napolean Dynamite.

I like the American one too, Utah. Wouldn't want to try singing it though. The word "butcher" comes to mind.

Happy Independence Day, y'all!

I feel like this July 4th is more of a wake for America than a celebration for it...

I'm celebrating by staying the fuck inside. It's too Goddamn hot to be outside today. It was too hot to be outside yesterday when I moved a car and an engine.

AvB: Thanks for the template! Everybody try it:

meaux, my Canadian darling, you are welcome to come see me in [West By-God] any old time. It gets short shrift an awful lot, but it's got beautiful [cars up on cinder blocks] too. It's not all [no teeth], [coal mines], and [moonshine ... er, not that there's anything wrong with moonshine]. Plus, close to [heaven]. We'd love to [smoke crystal meth with] you. (If ya know what I mean... [*in my pants*])

meaux, I see what you did there with the punctuation, and I applaud you ... in my pants!

*clap clap clap*

Oh, wait ... I don't want that in my pants either ... um ...

Why don't I just take the damn things off?

There, that's better ... hey, why's everyone in the office looking at me funny?

Eep: Well, it is Independence Day ... you could have just strapped a rocket to the back.

Wow, damn. Geez, you go have a little Independence Day fun and you miss the bitchy troll. Good for me.

And hey, Commadaddy. You happen to be talking about my crystal meth lovin' home too. I think our town is fairly nice. I never see cars on cinder blocks, people with no teeth, or anyone making moonshine so maybe I'm not hanging with the right stereotypes. Hmm.

However, one thing we do have here that is quite fantastic and fits the theme of the thread is pepperoni rolls. Look 'em up. They're amazing.

INDEPENDENCE DAY IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER.

OK maybe not, but I do love the hell out of this movie.

"Vultures! They take and then they go!"

Florida: Urban planning equals 3-5 titty bars punctuated by an evangelical church, then repeat.

You forgot to add the part about a towing company/junkyard in between. Oh, and don't forget the trailer parks...can't have our white trash community panicking because they weren't mentioned.

Well Bignik, you can blame Jaws and Star Wars for T2 if you want to as well. They were the instigators for the sumer blockbuster. ID4 is more the ancestor of 2012, so when that comes out them you can bring your overly judgemental self back to recommend eugenics. Until then though just keep in mind T2 is 2 and a half hours long. The other hour and a half you spent in the theater, hey we don't need to know about that Pee Wee.

Heh. Black market pepperoni rolls. Yeah, my family has spread them across the country as they moved away. However, they only share them with those they love and adore. It's still kind of wrong though.

Mmmm... Nonna's is awesome, isn't it? Shit. Now I want some cannoli. All of the food there reminds me of my own Nonna's cooking. Yum. One of the many reasons I miss her. Ya know, my dad was really lucky. He was telling me how his neighborhood (Second Ward/E. Brockway area)had the first pizzas in Motown prior to any shops because of all the Italian immigrants like our family.

Oh and I know you don't have to go far. Don't worry - I've seen some scary arsed shit. I actually don't claim much of WV beyond Morgantown. I frequent Pennsylvania, New York & Maryland way more than WV. It's funny how protective I am of it though. It's like an annoying sibling, I can hate on it but YOU (general you, not you-you) best shut your face.

I would love to have a mini-Bacon with you! You keep inviting me to 123, which I really like, but it's been bad timing for me. Unfortunately, I've been busy 'cause life keeps piling on the bullshit. I've been traveling back and forth caring for one of my sisters who is very sick right now. I'll be leaving again when she goes through a much needed surgery. Ugh. It's too bad you're too old and too married - my 27 year-old-self needs some enjoyment. Anyway, when we do hit the town, I'll be the tall redhead seeking whiskey sours.

Obviously you keep forgetting that there is a C in nick, but I digress. I did not go to see Transformers 2, because I have taste in movies (to some degree). While I like the mindless CGI flick as much as the next guy (that would be you figgy), even I have limits on what I will endure. Harvey Fierstein is an awesome actor and I loved seeing video of him as Edna Turnblad, however he was not Divine.

As for Jaws and Star Wars, you're forgetting one thing about those two in comparison to ID4. Jaws and Star Wars are actually good movies, not part of a megacorp's attempt to siphon funds from moronic sheep. Just remember Figgy, you are free to do as they tell you...

Hey, when you start getting into pepperoni and cheese and sauces and veggies that is stromboli/calzone territory not strictly a pepperoni roll. The whole point of a great pepperoni roll is for the spicy oils from the pepperoni to seep and cook into the bread creating this amazing, amazing beast. Twice the amazing! It's that good! The best ones are the ones I make in my kitchen. Mostly because they're super fresh and I use really awesome pepperoni. And in a stick, none of that sliced crap.

bignick, I'm not sure what a pizza or cheese roll constitutes. 'Splainy? Is a pizza roll actually stromboli? Stomboli is long and oblongy like a pepperoni roll, calzones are more pocketish but they basically have the same ingredients. Is a cheese roll just a pepperoni roll with cheese? Or is it just cheese? I'm all regionally food confused.

And really, if you don't see the difference between Independence Day and Transformers 2, then I just feel sorry for you.