Pajiba

Highlander 2. No question. I was literally sick with anticipation for it and rode my bike directly from school to the theater the day it came out. Then, afterwards, I rode home in a daze, trying to convince myself it hadn't been that bad and knowing, in my heart, that it was.

"Zombieland." And I'm still pissed there were no tits in "Charlie's Angels."

Trailer Park Boys 2: Countdown to Liquor Day. It should've been called Mike Clattenburg is So Over It.

Alien 3.

And, yes, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Without question the two worst theater experiences of my life.

Spider-Man 2 and Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me, hands down. Weeks leading up to both were filled with rave reviews and terrific word of mouth, but neither were anywhere near as focused as the originals. Spider-Man 2 has some great stuff in it (the Aunt May material, the action scenes, the pre-villain Dr. Octavious), but it's 2 hours of Peter feeling sorry for himself because he dumped Mary Jane and she won't take him back. Austin Powers 2 (and 3) forgot to actually be a satire and honestly thought that Dr. Evil and Austin Powers were funny characters on their own (they're not, it's the fish out of water stuff that makes them funny).

Ghost Rider. I don't even know why I thought I'd like it but I walked out feeling burned. More burned than Ghost Rider's burning head.

Transformers 2. I would never accuse the first Transformers of being a good movie, but I was thoroughly entertained and enjoyed looking at Megan Fox.
The second one was such a let down that even a hot girl couldn't stave off the disappointment. Don't worry, I wont give the Baynis any more of my money.

Citizen Kane
The Godfather
There Will Be Blood

They were all so boring...

Whatever that first Star Wars movie of the most recent trilogy was. I can't remember the name, I have blocked it from memory.

Man, Drag Me to Hell was all kinds of awesome! I love that movie so much.

But anyway, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull made me so sad. Did they just ball up some tin foil and put it in the skull? WTF? The first 10 minutes with Cate Blanchett were among the most awkward minutes I've ever experienced. It was a complete bust from the very beginning.

I could go on and on. I think I'd have to go with The Blair Witch Project though. I stood at the back of the theater expecting something to happen as the end credits rolled. And then they made a sequel.

Of course, I'd have to say that comedies hold most of the spots here. Superbad was super bad, MacGruber was dreadful, Pineapple Express failed, Hot Tub Time Machine, Zach and Miri, the list goes on. Didn't comedies used to be funny instead of just crass? I like a gross out joke as much as the next guy, but it can't be the sole emphasis. Stories are nice too. And in the past decade, its been the comedies that have been the biggest letdowns. Followed closely by the blockbuster attempts at my childhood loves: G.I. Joe, Transformers, Speed Racer, etc.

But overall, Blair Witch is still the goddamn worst.

Transformers, although it caught it on dvd release day and not in theaters (still $20, when you look at it.) Co-workers had said it was great, it had a 60%-ish on RT, and 25 minutes into it, I'm apologizing to my friend for defiling his house with my movie. When Bumblebee pissed on a human being, my sould crept into the corner and stayed there until the credits.

Honorable mention: Dinner for Schmucks, Crank 2.

When I first saw the trailer for Watchmen, I thought, "Oh my god. That is actually the best trailer I've ever seen."

But that movie failed on so many levels to understand the fear infused in that book. Also, whoever cast Malin Ackerman should be fired, or shot, or both.

Also, does anyone remember the first day or two after Transformers came out, when people were still saying it was good? That gave me hope. But that hope was completely misplaced.

But of course, neither of these can reasonably top the Star Wars prequels. How many decades did people wait for those? And they were beyond awful.

EJ, I liked all of the comedies you listed (okay, not Macgruber). I think it's a style of humor thing. Those comedies are very much about the absurdity of the characters or their situations. Not everyone appreciates absurdity. Though, of course, the movies you listed are all very different.

SuckerPunch

Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World Boogaloo. Oh, I how I loved (still love! obviously!) the first one, and how excited I was for the sequel. I even read the Crichton book, and that wasn't horrible. And having just seen Swingers, then hearing Vince Vaughn was cast, my enthusiasm was ridiculous. But, it was so, so bad. I prefer the third over it, and that's just stupid. But these scars run deep, man.

The Spirit. I went in excited, left screaming with rage.

Scary Movie. The trailer for that movie must have been one of the funniest things I had seen to date in my short life. Little did I know that movie was the beginning of many shitty franchise movies to come.

Julie, I'm with you on "Moulin Rouge." I HATED that movie and couldn't for the life of me figure out what people were raving about.

But the biggest disappointment for me was "Pulp Fiction" -- not because it isn't a good movie but because of the way it was sold to me. My brother and sister -- both very funny people with good taste in movies -- RAVED about how great and funny it was. "But I have a problem with violence in films," I said. "Don't worry, the violence isn't bad -- you'll LOVE it," they said. And by the time Samuel L. Jackson's cousin accidentally got shot in the face, I was ready to kill both of my siblings. I've never trusted them since.

I can't even fatham you putting JJ Abrams Star Trek on there, I found that movie to be perfect.

However, my biggest disappointment had to be Star Wars the Phantom Menace.

JIMBOB - Was it Mary Ellen and John-boy that lied?

AVATAR - having already seen "Dances with Wolves" I was a bit disappointed to spend all that money on a 3-d fucking rip-off!

and I hate Sam Worthington too!

My disappointment/disgust/surprise grows with every single viewing of the Phantom Menace. Hopefully the 3-D re-release won't be such a letdown.

A close second would be Saturday Night Fever - so much potential, not nearly enough disco.

@DarthCorleone No worries, it was a joke (at least kind of for Citizen Kane).

Transformers and all of the new Star Wars made me want to go on a 7 state killing spree.

I also loathed Step Brothers and Pineapple Express. They did not look promising from the trailers, but I heard so many people say they were both hilarious. They were wrong. So awfully wrong. (Damn you Judd Apatow, what have wrought?)

8 legged freaks.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for cheesy horror, but this was beyond cheesy. It even made "Kingdom of the Spiders" look wachable by comparison.

People get so bent out of shape over their entertainment. Jeepers.

The Hangover (victim of over hype)

The Phantom Menace (sucked royal hippogryph)

Not a movie but I still don't get why people like the American Office.

Bobandy - I disagree. I think the worst (of one of the bestest funniest story lines ever) was the last season. But honestly - TPB can do no wrong. The Corky Episodes? Best ever.

We don't go to the movie theater very often, because it costs too damn much & most movies are crap. I don't want to pay shit for crap.

Anyway, I know the picture is up there featured and all, but I really couldn't remember a bigger disappointment than Avatar and didn't feel like trying very hard after that.

Terminator Salvation. My brother and I were so geeked for the premiere, and then spent the couple hours afterward trying to convince ourselves that it wasn't that bad. But, oh, it was. And my heart, she was broken.

The Phantom Menace. I was 15, and it came out at the height of the hivemind Star Wars fandom and Ewan McGregor crush shared by me and my closest friends. I cannot overstate how much excitement we all shared waiting for it to come out -- we worked each other up into a frenzy worthy of a pack of rabid hyenas.

We had a slumber party and stayed up late to see the premier of the music video of Duel of the Fates, we scoured good old web 1.0 for any leaks, details, or rumors, we bought Amidala shirts and tried to duplicate Portman's hairstyles on each other, and we swooned over any stills of McGregor or Neeson that made it into the scifi magazines. In retrospect, we would have probably experienced some letdown even if it had been a great movie.

I tried to keep a brave face on even after seeing it in the theater. I continued to wear my t-shirts in public, because my friends were still wearing theirs, and I kept the soundtrack in the rotation on my stereo for the bulk of that summer. However, I was secretly disillusioned and personally offended in a way that it's difficult for me to explain as a rational (I hope) adult. Like I said, I think even if it had been good, there was no way it could have been everything we were lathered up for. I think everyone has that fandom or 2 in their teens that they love with the fire of a thousand suns and then find themselves quietly embarrassed about later.

But that movie was still fucking atrocious.

Happy post script: there were several movies that came out later that same year (1999) that I walked into with absolutely no expectations and totally dug.

X Men 3

Transformers 2

The Others, sorry I know it was supposed to be a "twist ending" but the whole movie was boring as hell

The Phantom Menace.

I work as a computer tech support engineer, and my company was so terrified that we were ALL going to call in sick the day the movie came out, that they bought us all tickets and sent us in shifts to go watch the movie during regular business hours. All I can say is, "At least I didn't have to pay to see it, and I got half the day off from work."

Ghostbusters 2.

and yes, The Phantom Menace.

Hands down, The Matrix Reloaded.

I wasn't around to experience the STAR WARS trilogy. Matrix had all the makings of an epic series. Reloaded sucked balls. And then Matrix Revolutions came.

Kick Ass, Spiderman 3.

The movie that didn't come out on May 19th, 1999. I didn't host the website for the lineup. I didn't stand in line for days. I didn't make new friends. I didn't see it a week early because I wasn't part of the Star Wars Fanclub. I didn't spill coffee in my week old first new car.

Rocksalt, indeed.

Wild Wild West
Terminator Salvation
Apocalypse Now (that's right, I said it!)
Godfather III

It was definitely Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. In retrospect, it would be impossible for this movie to work for me. I am an old fuddy duddy and when the original Raiders came out I was a young boy in his early teens. I was also a geek and had read many of the original pulp adventure stories thanks to a great collection my Dad supplied from his own youth and a voracious reading appetite.

To say that I got this movie would be an understatement. I "got" Raiders on a level I had never before any other movie in my young life. It was like Spielberg was sitting next to me in his youth, and daring to dream the outrageous technical version of what he saw in his head with those same adventure novels. I remember distinctly that I snuck away to the theater in the middle of family vacation and watched the movie repeatedly on one ticket by hiding out in the seats. It was fantastic. Harrison Ford was my hero. I wanted to marry Karen Allen. Those horrible bad guys deserved their fate.

Even though I was well past the point of understanding suspension of disbelief as a concept, this movie taught me how to move past it at a gut level in a way no other had.

So really Crystal Skull had no chance with me at all. But it was so much worse to me than a bad movie; it honestly felt like a betrayal. Mrs. Frob and I later watched the South Park episode where Spielberg and Lucas are shown literally raping our childhood (by sodomizing Indianna Jones the character). She thought it was disgusting and vulgar, which is true. But I got it. Matt and Trey sat in the theater and felt exactly what I did, they just had a unique way of displaying it.

Good call on the Matrix sequels. TERRIBLE.

Goddamned "midichlorians".

The second Pirates movie. I really adored the first one...it was silly and fast-paced and carefully toed the line between over the top and ridiculous. Seriously, watch the first sword fight between Jack and Will, and tell me that wasn't some old-school swashbuckling of the highest order. Errol Flynn would have been proud.

So for the second movie to focus on the boring characters and still manage to land squarely in TOOMUCHTOOMUCHTOOMUCH with the stunts...that was disappointing. Still, it was worlds better than the third one, which just sucked like a gaping chest wound.

Maybe number four can redeem the franchise? We can only hope.

To be truly let down requires following up poorly on something that was loved. And you can't have been sure it was going to suck before you saw it -- there had to be that moment of being seriously let down. I tried to convince myself these weren't horrible movies while I was watching them (and sometimes for days afterwards).

Star Wars 4 (PM)
Matrix 2
Indiana Jones 4
Aliens 3
Godfather 3
Terminator 3

I rarely go to the theatre to see movies, and I've had to cut back on what I watch at home, so I've managed to miss most of the major disappointments discussed here. My two biggest cinematic disappointments (recently, at least) were "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" and, yes, "Wolf Man."

The first and second "Pirates" movies were great fun. Enjoyed them tremendously. The third was was dreadful on every possible count. Detailing how and why on this site is unnecessary. You know that you know.

The trailers for "Wolf Man" got me. The Victorian England setting, the ever-feral Benecio Del Toro as the tormented wolf man, and Anthony Hopkins as his dad? It sounded like a good idea at the time. When I walked out, I was actually sad. Sad because I had wanted to like it so much, and all of the pieces had seemed like they should have fit together, and they had not. Not at all.

Boo-urns.

The Avengers. Sean Connery as a bad guy- and it still sucked on all levels.

Matrix 3, no question. meets all the criteria (especially wooden acting and stupid plot twists).

black swan. Honestly, give it a few years. Worst acting I've seen in a long time.

Phantom menace is a good pick for this one.

The Matrix sequels have aged so badly. They're so boring, the dialogue is monumentally retarded and each scene goes on for like a year. Also, the special effects are really bad, the bit where Neo fights all the agent Smiths in the second one looks like a video game cut scene.

Black Swan.

There were so many factors about this movie that excited me. Aronofsky! Ballet! Psychological thriller! Kunis! I had a freaking countdown for its release date.

Then I saw it, and it was horrible, and Natalie was horrible, and I wept, and vowed never again to let Hollywood get my hopes up so.

Eyes Wide Shut. The only Kubrick film I have no interest in seeing again. It was lovely to look at, but there was nothing else there. All surface.

Wedding Crashers. I normally love Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson but I hated this movie.

500 Days of Summer. No, really. After how much love it got in here, I was super excited about it. And, well, you know how that ended up. I've never hated a movie more.

Also, Wanted. Haaaaaaated it. Not even for the fun of it.

And Phantom Menace. Biggest disappointment of all time.

lubeg, if you haven't already seen them, you should check out the Harry Plinkett reviews of the prequels. I feel it makes all the suffering worth it.

Nothing was more disappointing to me than those damn prequels or Indy 4.

Clash Of The Titans. Serves me right for having high expectations for it.

All of the Star Wars prequels

I find certain parts of all 3 to be enjoyable (despite the overall disappointment, Phantom Menace still has the best light saber battle of the entire series, and a very cool villain in Darth Maul...AOTC's Clone War battle was great, albeit too short), but on a whole the prequels were mostly surface, no depth. Not that I think the original trilogy was deep or anything, but compared to the CGI-laden prequels?

Indy 4

Because I completely tempered my expectation for this one. I did not expect to experience anything close to what I did during the previous 3 films. I'd just hoped for a fun story that focused on the man featured in the title. Instead, I got yet another CGI-fest -- completely overloaded with superfluous characters -- that kept pointing out how old Indy was. OK, we got it after the intro. Indy is older. I didn't need his shithead son calling him "old man" throughout the film to remind me of it. I certainly didn't need to see his shithead son swinging on vines with mon...aww, you all know what I'm talking about.

I would welcome another shot at an Indy film. But make it about Indy. And for fuck's sake, much as I will always appreciate what Lucas has done pre-1999...keep him AWAY from the story. Can't help but wonder what the Darabont-penned script would have ended up like on the big screen...

Star Trek 2009

Yeah, I don't get the people that thought this was amazing. At all. It wasn't a horrible film. But it wasn't amazing either. It was quite mediocre.

I thought the first 10-15 minutes were awesome -- loved the way Kirk's father sacrificed himself. In the theater I was thinking, damn, if the movie simply stays on this level, it'll be amazing.

It didn't.

The story sucked, plain and simple. We already had a poor man's version of Wrath of Khan in Nemesis. This was worse. Way worse. I thought Pine was too much of a ham.

I'll give the second film a shot, because I know this one was mostly a trial run of sorts. But my expectations are low. And I really, really hope they don't make this one about Khan. Or any of the old villains. If you really want to "reboot" the franchise, find new antagonists.

And no more sidekicks for Scotty.

Posted by: ChristianH at May 3, 2011 7:13 PM
I knew someone was going to call out the Matrix sequels, but honestly, after a little distance from the theaters, they really were a lot better on repeat viewings.

I agree. There was little chance that Reloaded was going to be able to match the hype that proceeded its release. I never understood the backlash both it and Revolutions received; I enjoyed them both.

Too many to list all of them. Top of the list would have to be the first and last of the Star Wars prequels. The first was shocking because it destroyed every fan expectations. The last was shocking because I never imagined Lucas could do any worse than the first. My mistake.

The Matrix sequels were pretty awful too.

My most recent disappointment was Kynodontas (Dogtooth), one of the best foreign picture oscar nominees.

Spiderman 2

Matrix Sequels

Phantom Menance - I was all decked out in my Anakin as a child tee to find my hopes crushed by Jar Jar Binks.

The Wolf Man was also so disappointing. I slept through the ending and wasn't even bothered.

Avatar, definitely. What's sad is that I actually held out my skepticism until I got in the theater, and then began to get excited, because it appeared that Cameron was setting up a beautiful tragedy: the paralyzed hero, torn between two worlds but belonging in neither, and whose personal sacrifice might either bridge the gap between two warring cultures, or urge the good guys on to victory.

And then everybody went to the Magic Tree and sang Kum Ba Yah and helped the guy move from his split-level with the unfinished basement- body to his trendy new blue "green" body.

Lost In Translation
Gladiator
I know, I know.

Bill Murray is usually so casually great but ...
Scarlett is luscious but ...
But my friends and I gave each other the "WTF?" look when it was over.

And I never understood the Gladiator adoration.
It walks, talks, and looks like it should be better, but when I look behind the curtain (or lift the tunic) it falls short.

Posted by: The Mangler at May 3, 2011 9:17 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Totally agree with Lost in Translation. True navel gazing but GLADIATOR????? BUT....BUT....
it's Russell.....and it's epic.....the story...the costumes...the music...scenery
it's Russell...and Joaquin was so gloriuosly evil..and....IT'S RUSSELL!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH

Oh nevermind....sniffle...

Highlander 2. I still haven't forgiven the people who dragged me to see it.

Legion. They fucked up an angel war and failed to live up to the minor horror of the trailer. It's like they got that out of the way and then there was just dull dialogue and a bunch of people I didn't much care about dying in stupid ways. SyFy could have done better - and has. Why, Paul Bettany, why?? And yet, I am planning to see Priest, even though I know it will be awful.

Alien 3; Terminator: Salvation; Iron Man 2; Alien vs. Predator: Requiem; Spiderman 3; Predators; The Avengers.

Are we beginning to see a pattern here? It's got to the point now that I live in mortal fear of sequels and remakes.

On the other hand, movies for which I had genuinely high expectations that were severely disappointed: The Blair Witch Project; Event Horizon; Species.

Oh, and Deadly Weapons (1974), starring Chesty Morgan. Severely disappointed.

REVENGE OF THE SITH.

Probably because the first two "second trilogy" movies sucked so much balls, but I figured all would be forgiven when we got to see Darth Vader come into being. Instead we got the worst plot of all three movies, and turning the greatest Jedi ever into an enslaved minion was a process that took exactly 5 minutes of screen-time. Pathetic.

And seriously, fuck that entire lightsaber duel on the volcano planet. Darth Vader fucking chokes an admiral with his mind in "Star Wars", you're telling me he can't distract Obi Wan enough to kill him during a lightsaber duel?

I was Jack's wretched disappointment.

Paranormal Activity

But Mangler.......it's Russell.....

The part in Germania really was kickass, wasn't it? The cinematography alone, the blood, guts and gore and then a shot of Marcus Aurelius in his purple robe looking somewhat forlorn with the snow falling around him. It really did convey the senselessness of war and the folly of empire building.

And didn't Russell look hot in a skirt?

"Husband of a murdered wife, father of a murdered son...and I will have my vengeance"

" I think you've been afraid your entire life"

Damn! I'm goona go watch it right now

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaater

1. Matrix reloaded
Sucked shitballs. I'm still agog damn near 10 years later how a great film that's already conceived as part one of a trilogy could spawn such suckassitude.

2. Star wars episode 1 - 3
I kept going back like a frigging Stockholm syndrome victim.
3. Conan the Barbarian
The movie itself was balls to the wall great until my parents realized what R rating meant and dragged us home 20 minutes into the film.
4. Jackie Brown
Sorry, there was no way QT's next film could live up to his masterpiece.
5. Indiana jones 4
A cynical betrayal of everything that made the 80s great and by tue same creators no less.

American Beauty
Say Anything
The Dark Knight
Waking Life
Dazed and Confused
Fight Club

Probably Jurassic Park 2. That movie was complete shit.