Pajiba

I've never gone skiing. I'm pretty sure I'd break my leg.
on a dirty note
I've never made out with a girl. I think I'd been more nervous with a girl than I ever have been with a guy.

I've never been to a concert that I wanted to go to. Even though I absolutely love music and, in my opinion, have superb taste, I know no one who has the same taste as me and have never wanted to go alone.

I've never seen Apocalypse Now. I'm a little ashamed of that. But I have Grease and I fucking hated it.

Is this literal "I Never" where you haven't done the thing, or drinking game "I Never", where you have?

I've never been to New York City. I've been all over the US, Europe, Latin America, and Asia. But never NYC.

Pinky, you've never? Oh, you should check out Canada's national parks. They've got lots of woosdy, underutilized trails that a sneaky couple can make use of. Rumour has it. (I almost typed "woody"...heh heh)

I'm going to steal my answer from Lainey's blog: I've never wanted a puppy. Always been an animal lover, but I grew up in a cat household. I love other people's dogs, and I find puppies absolutely adorable. But (much like babies) I just see them as darling little bundles of responsibility and effort that smell kinda funny, and therefore have no desire to possess one.

I NEVER ever Tell the truth to my grandmother about the gifts she's gotten me.
They've been pretty bad. She got me glass cats for christmas and foot cream from the joan rivers collection for my birthday. Glad muy mother has better taste and learned from my grandmothers mistakes

I have never seen an entire Star Wars movie. I saw a little bit of some of them, and just wasn't interested.

I have never watched porn. See above for reason.

I, too, have never kissed a girl. I'm not saying I wouldn't, but the right opportunity has never presented itself.

I have never been to Canada, even though I lived on the border for two years.

I've never seen E.T. And I'm of the age where I should have seen it as a child and had it completely shape my life outlook.
I've never ridden a bike.
I've never had horchata, but I really want to try it and seeing as I live in TX, it shouldn't be hard to find.

I like this better when it's a drinking game, by the way. Because the secondary game is "make your friends get very drunk and reveal secrets."

Didn't we all see that crap Lifetime movie with Shannen Doherty, and she's in a sorority or something and the lead singer of some crappy band but some blonde bitch tries to usurp her in every way? Anyway, during a game of I Never the blonde crazy says "I never thought I was pregnant" and then asks another girl "shouldn't you take a drink?" causing that girl's boyfriend to flip out.

Not that I paid attention to the details of that piece of shit, though.

I've never been drunk.

I've never even tasted a cigarette.

Posted by: figgy at July 8, 2009 9:05 PM

You just made me cry a little...

I've Never Had a relationship last longer than a year.
I've Never Thought of myself as possibly being bi until this year.
I've Never Had a one night stand.

The length of the list of my "I Never's" is depressing. It's very long. *sigh*

I've never been SCUBA diving.

I've never had sex outside. No car, no woods, no tent, never.

I've never voted. Yes, I know, it's terrible. Especially given my other half is in the military. The truth is, my political knowledge would fill a thimble and I just don't feel qualified to make an informed decision. I've tried to become informed but it seems campaigning is more a shit-slinging popularity contest than anything else. And that always kind of disgusts me. On the other hand, I try to never complain about politicians/government because really, I have no right.

I think you mean Friends 'til the End, Sharon. And it is perfection.

I've never gotten a ticket (I've had a car and license for 6 years now).

I've never gone skydiving.

I've never faked an orgasm (if I'm not satisfied, you bet your under-performing ass you'll know).

I've never seen Titanic or Jurassic Park.

I've never watched American Idol, Survivor, The Hills, The Amazing Race or any other reality show on the major channels that didn't have Gordon Ramsay in it.

I've never been with a Ten, but one night I had 5 two's so I consider that a positive achievement.

christine I think monkey lips would be an improvement over what they put in White Castle burgers.

I never told my daughter that I was the one who picked out the glass cats for her.

Seriously, I've never been to London even though it's the one place on Earth I'm dying to see.

I've never been asked out on a first date.
I've never taken a driver's test.
I've never dyed my hair (I sprayed it a few times with color).
I've never taken gym class in high school.
I've never tried a drug stronger than pot or acid.
I've never been to the corner store with no makeup on.
I've never been married (and I just don't think I can do it, if asked.)
I've never dived off a diving board.
I've never been in a small plane, and never will.

I'm boring.

I've never been on a commerical airplane.

I've never been stung by a bee.

-I have never smoked anything (cigarettes or pot).

-I have never gotten drunk, but not for the lack of trying. The last time I got close, I was almost hospitalized since my heart rate went through the roof and I started to break out into cold sweat.

-I have never seen any of the Godfather.

(oh god I feel like such a loser)

Well I've never been to heaven
But I've been to Oklahoma.

Get serious? OK: Been married almost 27 years and never physically cheated. Tried once, in a semisober state many many many years ago, but she decided against it. Now? No, thanks, couldn't, wouldn't, no matter how much the Pajibettes weep and wail.

I never expected to see my blog referenced on Pajiba! That was a fun surprise and reading everyone's answers keeps reminding me of all the other stuff I've never done.

I've never eaten sushi. I'm sure it's probably tasty, but I have texture issues.

I've never been outside the US (except to Niagara Falls when I was 7 and honestly, I don't even know if we were on the Canadia side or the US side. My dad insists that we never even took this trip despite the fact that I have pictures of us, with our tragic matching perms, on The Maid of the Mist and standing in front of the Falls. My dad did a lot of drugs in the 70's...)

I've also never eaten at White Castle, Christine and now that I know the secret about the monkey lips, I'm totally never eating there!

YES, thanks jM.
Haha, someone knows the crappy movie...I'm not the only one.

I've never been in a car accident.
I've never had a cavity.
I've never eaten a Big Mac.
I've never lived outside of Minnesota.
I've never been drunk (or drank much alcohol at all, really)
And I've never liked a Michael Bay Movie.

Kolby, I can forgive a lot of things, but you must watch Doctor Who.
Don't you want to go to nerd heaven?

You're a Minnesotan, mouse? We can rememdy almost all those nevers by sending you over to Skitz's place.

It seems like there are a lot of people here from the Midwest, and specifically from Minnesota.

Go Twins?

Dangit, Mel, I got almost to the end of the thread and was ready to post that, and you go and ruin it for me. Ruiner!

I've never watched The Wire. I've never listened to an entire Prince album (nor have I seen Purple Rain). And I've never played guitar in a band.

My bad, sansho1. Couldn't resist.

"Never have I ever" has a better ring to it.

So:

Never have I ever climbed up to the top of a jumping platform without jumping off it, no matter how high.

I can't decide if it's good or bad that I'm having a hard time thinking of something for this diversion.

I've never eaten at White Castle either though - and I never wanted to.

I've never seen a ghost (nor fucked one, nor made pottery with one).

i never have been positively sure on any decision i have ever made

i have never had a mani/pedi/facial/wrap/even a massage or anything of that sort.

ive never eaten sushi

ive never been on a team or played any sport in school or otherwise.

i've never had sex with a girl. 'cause, you know, eww.

I have never broken any of my own bones.
I have never dislocated any of my own limbs.
I have never had stitches.

6 years of wrestling and 5 years of kickboxing. I was very lucky (the only permanent injury I have is ironically from jogging on a cold day in Minnesota).

On a more pleasant note, I've never worked in the food industry. Um, I've never had a threesome either -- is it worth trying, or is it better left to the imagination?

I've never had internet friends before Pajiba.

I've never lived alone.

I've never swam in a lake.

I've never surfed.

I've never broken a bone.

I've never been farther west than Georgia or farther north than Connecticut.

I've never been inside an Abercrombie and Fitch

I've never watched The OC (a great accomplishment when you consider that I was in 9th grade when it started)

I've never been in the hospital for anything other than my own birth.

okay odnon, damn.

My God, I read through all of that and the only things I could agree with were:

I've never seen Doctor Who
I've never had sex with a man
I've never been to Canada
I've never been in a threesome

Oh, and I've never jumped out of an airplane. There's that.

I don't do so well with the jumping from great heights thing, so I'll add bungee jumping to that list, too.

I've never been to a funeral, which is ironic seeing that Six Feet Under is my favorite TV show. I've had relatives die, people have come and go, yet I've never atteneded a funeral. Strange if you think about it.

Oh, AvonB, lickin' ain't cheatin'!

Tuesday, as usual?

I've never taken a picture of anyone that I wasn't asked to take.

christine Making monkey lips posts like that is no way to stay a lurker. Compliments! Just think, in every small town there are a couple deadly funny people, and when you dip your foot in the Pajiba waters, some of us just stay little fish and some of us bring dynamite like "White Castles are Monkey Lips." Yay! sincerely.

bucdaddy has never been to Facebook, and thus forfeits his month in the Pajibette Beefcake calendar.

I have never smoked pot. As a teen my edges were 89% straight with occasional bouts of drunkenness.

I flatly refuse to watch The Wire or listen to any sound originating from the direction of Jeff Tweedy. That shit is good for you like granola and decaf and soy cheese and thus verboten in my house, where it's all Man vs. Food and Hayes Carll and cheesburgers and espresso. And Heart disease and obesity and premature death.

I've never had sexual relations with that woman.

Dammit, buc. What'll the calendar be without you?!

I've never smoked crack, though for a summer there in grad school, I was kinda tempted to try it when all the regular coke the Applebee's wait staff supplied up had run out.

I've never fallen in love with anyone who would eventually deserve that love. I didn't ever take the love back from those guys; I simply altered it and made it into something else altogether -- more innocuous and less fragile.

I've never fucked a stinkstar. Well, on a girl anyway.

I've never been to Canada, though something tells me I'd be oh-so-happy there.

I've never done an intravenous drug.

I've never had surgery or broken a bone.

I've never pummeled a clown to within an inch of it's life, violated it with a cucumber, shat on it's face and lit it on fire.

Nevermore!

I've never had a cavity (I'm 34).
I've never seen the Grand Canyon (I've lived in Europe and seen most of the United States).

I'll tell you all this--I've never realized how fortunate I am and I did not fully understand how fulfilling and adventurous a life I've had until reading all the truly sad little confessions in these comments.

Been married.
Been divorced.
Been re-married.
Fathered a child, won a custody fight, and raised said child as a single-father.
Eaten it.
Drank it.
Smoked it.
Shot it.
Surgery.
Caught on fire.
Stitches.
Broken bones.
Carried a dead body.
Popped an M18 smoke grenade in my first apartment.
Dated inter-racially.
Had a threesome.
Kissed a boy during a drunk game of spin-the-bottle.
Drove a '79 Buick on two wheels.
Co-hosted a radio morning show.
Interviewed Zachary Levi.
Invented a word.
Parasailed.
Waterskied
Snowskied
Foreign country.
Sex outdoors, woods, beach, hot tub, pool, in the vacant lot behind a Denny's, car, and in the cab of a back-hoe.
East coast-West Coast-North-East-West-and South.
And eff you Costanza==I have, indeed, "successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch!"

Thank you all, you've made a previously "average" man realize how much shit he's really accomplished in his life.

I've never dislocated my shoulder patting myself on the back. There's another for your list, gforcetwo.

Optimus Rhyme -- well, I've never pulled it off, but here's how it might be done:

Step One: Find roommates who each have low self-esteem, and who are in subconscious competition with each other.

Step Two: Get them drunk.

I've never won EE.

I have never deployed. I've been in the Air Force for over 5 years and have still not deployed.
But I have had Kraft Mac&Cheese and it's really not that great. Lainey, you're not missing much.

figgy,

Don't drink don't smoke
What do you do? You
Don't drink don't drive
What do you do?
Subtle innuendoes follow
Must be something inside.

Ack, posting glitch.

Something scwewy going on awound heah.

ive never been on a subway.

I'm in college and I've never eaten taco bell. People look at me like I have an STD or dont believe me when i tell them.

The latest celeb babe pics! Which girl do you like best?

http://www.uniformedmeet.com/news/181

i tooko a a ashot forr evry tihng i didnhfn do yet. aamn qwuit druinkj. dman yo pajibqw.

I nevf3 had anyu SDTs.
i nwer nbeebn to europpfr.
i nervfefr use thne bakscpae when i tytpo druinko.

ha.

I'm one of those people that believes in trying (almost) anything once but more often than not, I end up doing it just for the experience then never doing it again. Hence, some of my "i've only ever done it once..." stories are way more interesting. But that's for another time.

I have never asked anyone out on a date.
I have never been on a second date.
I have never had sex.
I have never pulled an all-nighter.
I have never tried mushrooms and refuse to do so, no matter how "awesome" my friends tell me it supposedly is.
I have never used a vibrator.
I have never starred in a movie.
I have never read Perez Hilton.
I have never lived in my own place (either at my mom's or rented a room.) and subsequently, have never lived in a room that was decorate exactly the way I wanted it.
I have never streaked.

This is why I hate playing "Never have I ever" at parties. All the questions end up being sex related and I'm the only one sitting there with a full cup and a clueless/bored look on my face.

Nevermore!

Posted by: The Raven at July 9, 2009 12:18 AM
-------------------------------------------------
You, Sir or Madam, are splendid.

I've never seen E.T. I think I've gleaned the necessary information through commercials and such; E.T. phones home, bicycles fly for some reason, at the end E.T. flies away in a giant Faberge egg. I've never actually watched the movie, though.

I'm a half Australian, half New Zealander hybrid freak, and I've never been anywhere besides these two places. They say it's not safe.
Yay, postin for pointy nipples!
mmm pointy...like Irish setters infact...

never believed in god

never wanted human babies

never finished a bowl of cereal

never cheated on a lover/caught a lover cheating

never got the beach boys

never watched more than 15 minutes of a televised awards show

never didn't know that canine companionship is necessary for my survival and approximation of happiness.

I have never figured out how to whistle. I think my pucker's broke.

I have never killed a mammal or a bird on purpose. I have hit two birds with my car, one of which had to be euthanized. And by euthanized I mean I made my friend step on its head to finish it off because it was losing its internal organs. However, I have saved three other birds as motherless babies so karmically I consider myself okay. On the other hand, I have been responsible for numerous rodent murders by dog- and cat-proxy. And I once chased a mouse around my bathroom with a plunger for almost an hour. But was not successful!

I've never owned my own house.

I've never eaten Tuna Helper. Ick.

Although I've been in Atlanta for almost 8 years, I have never been to Coke World or the High Museum (and suddenly I think there might be some kind of weird subtext to this city's "sights"....)

I've never kissed a girl.

I've never cheated on a boyfriend.

I've never wanted kids. I always took the "maybe someday" route, and still do. Maybe I will one day...just not today.

Oh, I've also never banged outside.

i've never had sex with a girl. 'cause, you know, eww.
Posted by: gp at July 8, 2009 11:00 PM

Hee! gp, you are one of my four favorite PajiGays.

Ha! ,(tcfkab), thanks for the Adam Ant. He really just isn't referenced enough anymore.

Tuesday, as usual?

Damn straight.

I regret having never:
*left the US.
*lived alone.
*been to a midnight release (which WOULD change next Tuesday, but the hubby doesnt want me driving home alone at 2:30am... Thanks, and all, but UGH!)

I'm proud that I've never:
*broken a bone/had a serious injury/needed surgery (although that one changes soon as I need my wisdom teeth out. le sigh...)
*been bungee jumping/sky diving. I rather like my face, as is. Most days.

I wish I had never:
*had a threesome. Blech, with a side of shame nuggets...
*cheated on someone.

i have never heard of white castle. and by the sounds of it that is a thing i should be pleased about.

I've never given anyone a Cleveland Steamer.
I've never had a threesome and really don't want to.
I've never understood censoring myself with a significant other and so I never have.
I have:
Sat naked in the middle of a road.
Peed outside.
Eaten sushi.
Helped clean a turkey my grandfather killed.
Given birth.
Gotten married in Las Vegas.
Jumped out of a tree and caught the hood of my jacket on a branch, causing me to hang precariously while family laughed and took pictures (I wasn't choking, but still!).

but seriously, four?

But my *favorites* are Jeremy Feist and my secret fake gay internet boyfriends The Pink Hulk and Shay (I'm kind of a secret fake internet whore) and you!

I've never watched an episode of The Sopranos.
I've never been arrested (though I once came very close, to the point of sitting in the back of the cop car in cuffs).
I've never broken a bone (but have torn many ligaments and whatnot).
I've never waxed any part of my body.
I've never had sex with a black woman.
I've never won a game of chess.
I've never been skiing.
I've never been asked out for a first date.
I've never rooted for the Yankees and never will, no matter what. Seriously. I even rooted against them in the '01 World Series.
I've never changed the oil in my car.
I've never been kicked in the balls or kicked another guy in the balls. For men, it's only allowed when the other guy has a weapon or is waaaaaay bigger than you.

Don't drink don't smoke
What do you do? You
Don't drink don't drive
What do you do?
Subtle innuendoes follow
Must be something inside.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 9, 2009 1:26 AM

Did I tell you you're wonderful?

The latest celeb babe pics! Which girl do you like best?

http://www.uniformedmeet.com/news/181

Posted by: Cindy at July 9, 2009 2:26 AM

WTF? A spambot is impersonating me? Now they've gone too far. Who has the murdertank keys?

I have never broken a bone but I did give myself two concussions diving.

I am one of the remaining women in America who has not subjected herself to Sex and the City. I have, unfortunately, had friends who tried to decide "which one" each of us is.

I have never had a one night stand. They always call the next day.

I have never enjoyed scotch but I have been drunk enough to get it down.

I have never been in a hospital except for that part where I got born. At least, my parents say I was born in a hospital. Don't really remember back that far. I certainly hope I was born in a hospital and not at home. I remember living in that home and that would be really super weird to live in the place where you were born. I mean, to walking through the living room and be like, oh, hey, me and placenta came gushing out on that sofa and now my grandparents are sitting there. Ew.

I have never eaten a tangerine.

I've never kissed anyone. At 23.

-I have never read a Harry Potter book or seen a Harry Potter movie. (Not because I'm against them or anything, I just never got around to it and now I feel like the ship has kind of sailed. And when I say this, inevitably all the evangelical Potterheads within a 2-mile radius go 'Noooo, but you can read one a daayy!! Here, I'll lend you the first one right now!)

-I have never seen any of the American Pie movies.

-I have never watched The Hills or Gossip Girl.

-I have never had a cavity. (I'm 26 and really hope this streak continues for a while.)

-I have never taken any drug other than pot.

-I have never been snow skiing.

-I live in Spain but I've never gone to the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Nor do I have any desire to.

Otherwise, reading this list makes me feel like kind of a deviant too.
Sounds like there are a lot of virgins around here who should get together and just knock it out.

Amanda, it's my dad's fault. He ruined it for me. Seriously, even the smell makes me gag. I don't think he's ever eaten it either. I'm going to have to check with him on that...

If it makes you feel better, I still like *you* even though you've eaten it!

I have never:
-Posted on Pajiba before
-Jumped out of an airplane
-Been scuba diving
-Travelled to Asia, Australia, South America, or Africa
-Been divorced
-Won the lottery or inherited a large sum of money
-Been wealthy
-Been in poverty
-Acknowledged to a friend or family member how little self esteem I actually possess
-Gotten a tattoo (although a friend and I plan to when I turn 40)
-Been on a cruise
-Used IV drugs or acid
-Known someone who committed suicide