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Have You Ever Hit Someone?

By Mrs. Julien | Comment Diversions | April 20, 2013 | Comments ()


fightclub1.jpg

I slapped a boyfriend once, my boyfriend. I was about 23 years old and he was driving me absolutely crazy, although I can't remember about what. We were joking or teasing, but I asked him to stop repeatedly and he didn't. When I tried to get away from him, he followed me into the bathroom and kept talking. The slap was over before I knew it had begun. It was not planned. I genuinely lost control and hit him once on the cheek. It was a gesture more than a blow. I was horrified. Stunned and horrified. He left the bathroom. We never spoke of it, at least, not until about a year later. We were over at a friend's house and having one of those "When was the last time you stole something? What lies have you told? When was the last time you hit someone?" conversations, so it finally came up. Pointing, I said, "I hit him once, but he never said anything." My boyfriend responded that he could see from the look on my face that I was so aghast that he didn't need to say anything.

I imagine that for a lot of you, the last time you hit someone involved a sibling, so I'll share a story about that, too. I have two sisters and a brother. Brother Julien is five years older than me and I worshipped him. We used to horse around and one day, when I was 8 or 9 years old, we were wrestling. My brother had me very well pinned and I couldn't wiggle free, so I used my knee to connect with the part of his anatomy that would ensure my speediest release. It worked and he was incredibly nice and calm about it. He asked me if I knew what happens when you kick a guy there and when I oh so innocently shook my head, he explained it to me calmly and carefully. He even told me I could use it as self-defense.

I'm not proud of that first story, but I simply love telling the one about kneeing my brother. Do have something similar to share?


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Ella Noore

    I hit myself sometimes every time I see a TV or movie scene with a man hitting a woman. I just automatically want to be hit, slapped or punched, and I feel good about it, but at the same time, my friends and family do not like it because they don't want to see me hurt. Maybe I'm nuts, I dunno, but I've always liked it, but I don't like the repercussions.
    Hitting someone else, I've never been provoked enough, unless there's a fight, and I like to get into it for a good cause. I would do it if I'm really provoked, and I wouldn't feel bad about it.

  • The simple answer is Yes.
    It's been about a decade since the last time I out and out swung on someone, but a friend of mine decided to be particularly foul about another friend, calling her all sorts of names and insinuating that she had all sorts of diseases. Well, insinuating is too nice a term for the out and out attack he was starting. I informed him that if he wanted to speak that way about someone, he would be best served by doing it far away from me. As we were leaving the restaurant we were eating at after work (its now somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 am) he starts up again as we walk towards our mutual friend's car. Said mutual friend had driven us both.
    I turn around and slug him in the diaphragm. He falls to the ground.
    I turned back and continued to the car. The shit-talker was driven home by someone else.
    In high school I had the aura of being a scrapper, without ever having gotten into fights. But, that aura saved my ass from being pummeled. Sometimes its more important to talk a big game, and other times its more important to communicate that slut-shaming will not be tolerated in the most expedient manner.

  • blacksred

    I knocked my ex boyfriend upside the face with my cellphone after i listened to his voicemails with a chick saying what a great time she had on their "date". We were living together. I wanted to smash his skull as much as he had just broke my heart. Violence is not the answer but it felt like a very good starting point at the time.

  • stofjas

    I am 6ft5 and weigh about 7 stone and used to play a lot of rugby. While I was at Uni I was randomly attacked by drunk idiots at least 6 times. Every time I had to defend myself, something that was luckily taught to me in the Navy. I ended up with lot of ruined clothing (mostly from their blood) and a complete distrust of Clubs and Pubs. In the end I just stopped going to places like this and even these days, 15 years later, I try to avoid pubs and when work demands it I am rarely at ease and invariably duck out early. Most amazing thing to me is that I never punched someone in the throat even though that is how I was taught. I might have killed someone and that would have started my own version of ConAir...

  • Brooke

    I haven't ever hit anyone, other than petty sibling scrapes. But, just this past September I saw my younger sister do something I thought I'd never see. It was glorious. Our dad was in the hospital, in intensive care. He and our mom married when she was three and I was ten, so even though he's not biological, he's been our dad for twenty-five years. He has since passed away from lung cancer, which makes this even more of a real moment for me. Anyway, we were in the hospital waiting room and our step brother (who is a real prick and jealous of our relationship with our dad) flipped out on me and started screaming at me. All because I'd quietly asked his kid to stop doing bellyflops and backflips off the chairs. I'm sad to say I started screaming back. He called me some very nasty names and my sister lost it. "Nobody talks to my sister like that!" He's the type that expects women to be passive and just back down. We didn't. So he said the one thing he thought would hurt us. "I don't know why you're even here, he's not your dad!" My sister lost it. He's six inches and at least 100 lbs. bigger than her, but she drew back and punched him right in the eye. It was the greatest thing I've ever seen. He called the cops, because he's a puss, and the cops looked at him acting all aggressive like a gorilla and looked at my very shaken and much smaller sister and just laughed at him. It was one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

  • Knightblade

    I think your boyfriend should have hit you back. Period.

  • DeltaJuliet

    When I was a kid, there was a boy who was always harassing me on the bus (I was probably 7 or 8, he would have been 10 or 11). No one ever did anything about it so one day, he pushed me up against the window, pulled my hair and then tried to kiss me (seriously? boys are dumb). I hit him in the face with my lunchbox, he cried and never bothered me again. I got kicked off the bus and my mom happily and proudly drove me to school the rest of the year.

    When I was about 21, I had a similar situation to the one you listed Mrs. Julien. My beefy boyfriend was after me about something and I kept saying "Back off, get out of my face". Finally he said "Why, what are you gonna do?" and I hauled off and punched him in the face.

    It felt good and got him off my case (unfortunately I didn't end it right away either. Stupid, young, horny me). The one thing that I took away from it though, and I hate to admit it, is my punch really didn't have much affect on him physically. I found that more upsetting than anything else.

  • Frank Booth

    I have.More times than I can count.The most memorable one however was going home by subway one evening. I was exiting the station and I noticed this drunk speaking loudly behind me and being aggressive to all. As usual in such situations I made sure I was aware of his location while I proceeded to exit. Once outside, I crossed path with the most timid and shyest looking girl ever then crossed the street. Once I had made it there I turned around, alerted by the sound of shouting. The drunk had interposed himself between the subway entrance and the girl and was berating her for unfathomable reasons.

    Then, suddenly, he WHACKED HER ACROSS THE FACE and actually left an angry palm print there.

    I dropped everything I was carrying right there, screamed Hey! to the top of my lungs and ran at the guy full speed. I connected the perfect upward moving punch right under his stupid drunk face with all the kinetic energy that 225 pounds of righteous anger are able to generate. I dislocated his jaw on the spot and he dropped instantly. Once he got there I put my heel on his throat and waited for the cops.
    They actually congratulated me on that one. Apparently that asshole was an habitual offender.
    Story over

  • BBB40

    I grew up with both a Napoleon complex and a hero complex. I was a pretty big Spider-man fan, so I had that whole power/responsibility thing (if you can help, you must help) making me get involved with every case of bullying I witnessed. But I was also tiny (5 feet tall, 93 pounds in 9th grade), so I'd also aggressively respond to anyone trying to bully me. I was in more than a few fights growing up.
    I no longer have the Napoleon complex (I'm about 5' 11" and 220 lbs), but the hero complex is still there (I have more power and blah blahbility). I'll still confront any bully I see but it's been about ten years since anyone has thrown a punch. You have to be very committed to fighting to engage someone my size. The winner of a heavyweight fight is still pretty messed up.

  • Ed

    The closest I've come to a fight in my adult life happened a few years ago.

    I'm a singer and I had finished my set with the band at an all-day charity thing in a park. I was wandering around, enjoying the band that were on after us and making goofy faces/gestures at my friend, their singer. Some drunken tool in the crowd interpreted that as me making fun of my friend and got up in my face about it. I assured him that wasn't the case, but he didn't seem convinced. I disengaged from the conversation and continued mingling.

    A while later, I'm dancing away and a meaty forearm clamps around my throat from behind. I give it a little tug, thinking it might be a friend messing around. It doesn't budge.

    It's the only time in my life I've had the sensation of Matrix-like clarity and time dilation: in very rapid succession I thought "that's not a friend. That arm's getting tighter. My voice could get damaged. My LIFE could get damaged. Do something."

    I'd briefly studied a couple of martial arts when I was a kid, but didn't think anything had stuck. I was wrong. My brain did the slo-mo Robert Downey Sherlock Holmes combat calculations and I pulled a textbook hip throw on this dickhead, dumping him flat on his back with me on top of him and my hands around his neck.

    So on the one hand, it's pretty cool to know that you're calm during a crisis, but on the balance of things, I'm fairly happy I've never been into anything more serious than that.

  • chanohack

    Yes. I'm not proud of it. But one of my stories is kind of funny.

    My brother and I were goofing off. He was probably thirteen, I was probably fifteen. I threw something at him and he caught it one-handed without looking up. I was appropriately impressed. "I'm a Jedi," said he. "I can see things before they happen."

    I immediately punched him in the stomach. I honestly thought he would have seen it coming (NOT because he's a Jedi, but come on, OF COURSE I was going to hit him after he said something like that) and block me, but he didn't. He cried and my dad got really mad.

  • sean

    Sure. Got in numerous fights from childhood, to early adulthood. I was good at it. IT is stupid and pointless, but I was good at it. I lived in a lower middle class area, and fighting was/is common. By the time I advanced to bar room brawling in my late teens...I had been in many fights. Dozens probably. Again, stupid and pointless. I grew up in my early 20s, and avoided fights. Sometimes it was unavoidable after that. Again, stupid and pointless. The last person I hit was an asshole that was kicking his dog, about 2 yrs ago. It wasn't a fight. I told him to stop kicking the dog, and he swore and took a swing at me. He missed. I didn't. He went down hard. I called the cops and animal control. They took him away. IT was quite funny.

  • hindulovegod

    My first and last real fight was in first grade. I was out a lot, still recovering from a serious illness I'd had the year before. On one of my off days, another girl took the opportunity to kiss my boyfriend. I heard about it before I got back to school, thanks to the grade school grapevine. (My boyfriend explained and apologized, saying she'd taken him by surprise.) I knew I was going to have to fight her during lunch--it was that kind of neighborhood--so I asked my toughest aunt for advice. She showed me how to make a fist and told me to hit her fast, since she wouldn't expect it from me. (I was a bookish, pale redhead and my adversary was a tough girl.) Back at school, everyone gathered round us on the playground, and I proceeded to kick her ass. It became so legendary, that I still got asked about my sophomore year of high school.

  • Bea Pants

    I had a really shitty boyfriend when I was about 19 who grabbed me by the throat as a super funny "joke." I asked him twice to stop and then gave him an open-handed slap across the face. He let go and gave out a whiny "Owww! I was just kidding!" I gave a sarcastic "Yeah. Me too." as a response. This story would be a lot cooler had I kicked him to the curb then and there rather than letting that train wreck drag on a few more months.

    Other than there's not much beyond grade school hair pulling. I'm an only child so there's no sibling squabbles that went to far and I was raised by the two most non-confrontational people on the earth. So I was well into adulthood before I even learned to speak up for myself. So yeah, not so much with the violent retribution for me.

  • TOB

    I have never been in a real fight which is good because I am clumsy and weak. Apparently I don't look like much of a threat because usually the sight of a spitting, seething, furious TOB makes most people giggle helplessly (seriously, that is the most common response). But it is also good because I firmly believe in preventative violence.

  • TOB

    Ugh, stupid Disqus. Anyway, if someone hits me I am going to want to put them down so they can't do it again. When I was a kid I would sharpen my nails into points to use to threaten my brothers if they came after me. It only took drawing blood once or twice for just the threat of a raised taloned hand to stop them.

  • Ben

    I've played hockey my whole life. But I ran on the small side until about Grade 12 so fighting has never been a big part of my game, but over 20 years of playing and 17 of those involving body contact fights have occurred not often but they have happened. I'm always scared when a fight would start. Like I said I was small at a time, not so much anymore. I'm not tall but I am think and I have worked physical jobs my whole life in which a certain amount of muscle and strength is built. I've always been scared to really connect with a punch and have something terrible happen.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    A good guideline to prevent serious injury: don't aim for the head. Not only can you easily break something there (jaw, nose, eyes), you can also slip and hit the larynx (which can be very bad news), or knock the opponent senseless and sent him to the ground, where he can hit his head much harder than you ever could.

  • kirbyjay

    I think I'm in the wrong web site.

    I grew up in the rough part of a Boston outer burb and you pretty much had to fight occasionally, even us girls. We had a group of about 30, many who I'm still friends with, one who I'm married to, and the guys getting their beer muscles on usually ended up in a brawl with some other part of town. It was all fists though, no weapons, though we did get in a street battle with some punks in Lowell who were throwing beer bottles like grenades and one of my friends got sliced with a knife.

    I got into it with some slutface in a bar once and she bit me in the finger. I was so legless that when I went home I flopped into bed without washing it and of course it was infected by morning. The doctor told me to take a week off from work, since I couldn't use my hand, and rinse it daily in salt water, so I spent the week at the beach.
    One time, one of my friends got date raped. A few months later all of us girls were in our local hangout when she saw him in the back of the bar. There were probably six of us so when the guy saw her and got up to leave, I jumped on him and wrapped my fingers in his hair ( 70's hair was longer then) and pulled him to his knees. The other girls proceeded to punch and kick him for a good five minutes until the bouncer decided he had enough. He ran screaming out the door and my friend felt she had justice.

    Another time a few of us had just come from a wedding and were dressed up. We were at our usual place and we looked over and saw a guy that just got out of jail sitting in a booth with a few friends and family. He had killed one of our friends with a shotgun blast and had gone to prison for 10 years. We knew he was out but the fact that he was in our bar was too much. My boyfriend ( husband) told him he had to leave but he just mouthed off to him. Next thing you know, a full fledged bar room brawl had broken out. The guys sister had jumped on a friends back and had knocked him over. He wouldn't hit her so I went over and caught her with a shot to the nose, and I was in a dress. Anyway....they left and didn't come back.

    I could go on....but I think I've said enough.....
    But may I say that all of us, save a few who succumbed to drugs and alcohol, got married, had kids, bought homes and live law abiding lives.

  • DeltaJuliet

    This confirms my continuing theory of "don't fuck with Bostonian's".

  • Mrs. Julien

    I am very sorry your friend was assaulted but I LOVE the retribution.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I knew two brothers who were really big. 6'6" and 6'9". The taller one casually mentioned 350 pounds in passing during a conversation. HUGE barrel chested guys with all of the knee and joint problems one would anticipate. They told me they had trouble in bars because when some knucklehead would be drunk and trying to prove himself, he would pick a fight with one of them. They were really sweet, nice guys and would have had mass on their side, if not finesse.

  • I run about 6'6 and 260 pounds myself and I can sympathize with those guys. Little dudes getting drunk and over-compensating accounts for I'd say roughly 40% of my physical confrontations.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Three times, all as a kid/teenager. I'm glad that no one was seriously hurt.

    First one was in school, 6th grade, I think. There were 3 kids who where bullying me regularly, and I finally had enough. The ringleader had locked my neck between his shins, but let me go, only to grin in my face. I hesitated for a moment, then slapped him. He was bloody furious. Had my classmates not held him back, he would have beaten the living shit out of me (he had the advantages of height, weight, and - being a judoka - training.) Funnily enough, others held me back, despite the fact that I didn't struggle to get at him. I wasn't that stupid.

    I tried the same stunt with another bully in high school. Didn't work quite as well, because no one prevented him to come at me. It was a good thing that I wasn't the second smallest kid in class anymore like in grade school. I absorbed his blows quite well until a teacher showed up.

    The third time was with a neighbor's kid. We had fought verbally over some trivial thing and agreed to meet for a fight later. We grabbed each other, I punched him in the eye, he punched me in the eye. Then, realizing how dumb the whole thing really was, I let go and walked home. He let me, probably because he felt he had won.

  • ALB

    Yes in Key West in Hemmingway's bar. I punched a guy in the jaw, after he grabbed and twisted my boob. I hit him exactly right and he went down and passed out. He was really drunk, and I never would have hit him were I sober. His friends cheered because they were sick of him and his drunkenass.

  • kirbyjay

    Boob twisters are the worst. Fanny pinchers can at least say they thought you were someone else, but boob twisters are so blatant in their douchery.

  • basse buus

    I've only hit someone seriously once. I was 18 and my high school boyfriend was going through an epic break-up. It was a long and tearfull thing, and we took turns of going mad with sorrow or jealusy. It was my first relationship and first break-up, and I thought I was dying.
    One night he came over to my house to announce that he had slept with another girl. After a long and dramatic fight I ended up yelling "I'm so mad at you I could hit you!" and he answered "Then do it". Eventhough I broke his lip whith one or two blows, he didn't move a muscle. He just stood there.
    I only hit him once or twice, but when I stopped, he started crying. He said that the blows was nothing to the pain of seeing me so hurt.

    As I said we were melodramatic and luckily we both grew out of it.

  • Ben

    I had a best friend in highschool were we would alternate between being the closest friends and the most hated enemies, We hit eachother a lot. He was one fo the only people I've hit meaning to do serious harm, My mates and I hit eachother all the time when we're being cunts to eachother.

  • 'Course I have, I was a bouncer at a hillbilly strip club. I've never hit a woman, though, and the people I've clocked throughout my life generally deserved it, in one fashion or another.

    Growing up, I had two brothers. The one never really got the hang of asserting himself physically(or in any other way really) but my other brother and I fought everybody but each other. Turned out to be good training for the rest of our lives, as he went on to join the Marines and I bounced around the country doing odd jobs and associating with odd people.

  • Strand

    I've been in exactly three adult 'fights' in my life and shockingly only one involved alcohol. That one was just a regular bar fight and ended when the guy threw a glass at me and was thrown out. Second was after being accosted by some bogans (Aussie hillbillies) in Northern NSW, I hit one and they scattered.

    The third was at night on campus, I was walking back to my room and two random guys jumped me, I got one hit in the other knocked me in the jaw and I went down like a sack of bricks. That's what they don't tell you in the movies, actual fights are always super short. It takes one good hit to knock someone out cold.

  • Chucktastic

    When I was in college someone asked me if I had ever been in a fight. I explained that as an African-American going to almost entirely white schools, first in a small town in Iowa (ok, that's kinda redundant) and then in the suburbs of Denver, I had been in more fights than I could remember.

    From 1st thru 5th grade my sister and I were bullied terribly. I fought back as best as I could, but I took some nasty beatings. Fortunately, puberty had a nice little gift in store, a growth spurt over the summer before 6th grade. I spent the first month of school settling accounts; I was the bullier of bullies, a defender to anyone who was picked on, for any reason. I became well acquainted with the principal's office that year.

    In high school I was a jock, and our biggest rivals were the two closest high schools, each one no more than twenty blocks from the other. Simply going to the wrong McDonald's for lunch was enough of a reason to be jumped. Being the only black kid on my football team made it worse. I used to lie and tell my mom the bruises and cuts were from football practice.

    In college I rarely needed to raise a fist, let alone my voice. It seemed like things were finally becoming normal, or at least I was avoiding the idiots that liked to get into fights with someone because of their color, sexuality or class.

    The last fight I was in was the result of being head-butted during a flag football game. Seriously, you could see my teeth thru my lip. This d-bag intentionally hit me with the crown of his head, a basic no-no when you're wearing flags. The refs didn't throw a flag on the play and my friends lost their minds. It turned into an all-out brawl and both of our teams were thrown out of the league. It was the last organized sport I've participated in, I realized I had found the idiots again.

    Now, when I look back on all of the fights I've been in, none of which I started or threw the first punch, they just seem sad and regrettable. I honestly can't think of a single fight I've been in that didn't stem from bullying or racism. It's just pathetic.

  • Natalie

    Hi,

    If you want a good book recommendation, you should read Townie, by Andre Dubus III. He also went through a bullying the bullies phase, most of the book is about that. But it's also more. Aside from the fact that it's a fantastic book, I think you'd enjoy it because you share some of his experiences.

    Glad you don't have to fight anymore.

  • TrickyHD

    Thanks for sharing. As a white guy with black friends, I often ask them about their life perspective out of genuine curiosity and friendship, as I understand I cannot never "know" what it is like to be of a different ethnicity, and for a moment, I was seeing the world through your eyes.
    We all have to do our part to make color a thing to be celebrated and shared, and not an excuse for bad behavior.

  • This isn't my proudest moment. My ex-boyfriend told me that he had cheated on me and I told him to come to my house because I was going to kick his ass. It was the worst fight of my life and, somewhere in the middle of it, I punched him in the nose and mouth, which knocked him right on his ass and caused him to start bawling hysterically. I mostly regret this because I had cheated on him, too. (He didn't know it at the time of the fight.)

    I also used to have a violent temper when I was younger and never controlled it. This would culminate in me striking my sister over something she would do or say to provoke me. I hated the feeling that would follow, like I was some kind of monster, and because the shock on her face followed by the crying. I think that has to be the worst combination of expressions: the moment's pause where someone is in complete shock before they just break down.

    I definitely have control over my temper now, outside of that first story. As I said, these aren't my proudest moments.

  • DominaNefret

    My little brother and I could fight like fiends. He was my best friend and we did everything together as young adults, but we could get on each other's nerves like nobody else.
    So the last time I hit someone would be our last fight, back during Snowpocalypse 2010, after we had been stuck in the house for nearly a week and were going totally stir crazy. I don't rember what the fight was about at all. I remember that I was 25, he was 23, and we were screaming at each other and chasing each other and I ended up hitting him (I don't remember where) and he screamed at me that I was a terrible bitch and he hated my guts and wished I was dead.
    Thirty minutes later, at most, he came up to me and gave me a gigantic hug and told me that he was sorry he said all of those things and that we fought and that he loved me and that I was the best sister in the world.
    That was how all of our fights ended, with one of us apologizing very soon after and neither being able to stay mad at the other for more than a few minutes.
    He died four months later, and man what I wouldn't give for another fight with my brother.

  • Tinkerville

    Do hair pulling, nail scratching fights with your older sisters count?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Hell, yes!

  • I punched my younger sister once but in my defense it was somewhat accidental. I was in my senior year in HS and she was starting her freshman year and she wanted to learn to box. We'd always fought as kids but it was more of the wrestling variety. I'm no pugilist by any stretch of the imagination but my father had taught me to throw a punch and defend. As we sparred in the kitchen I'd successfully imparted defense and was about to put a short jab into her forearms. As I announced my intention she said "Huh" and dropped her hands right as I let fly. My punch landed right on her chin and she went down like a sack of potatoes. Taught her an important lesson: never let your guard down.

  • I'm a preacher's kid, which means we moved a lot when I was growing up. Four elementary schools in three different systems, y'all. It was a little traumatizing. Anyway, it was Daddy's first Sunday at a new church. I was two months shy of ten and this kid named Ben was annoying the crap out of me. After the service, I was walking with Mom out to the car and i saw Ben and his parents coming towards us. To this day, I'm not sure what made me do it, but I made a fist, drew back my arm, and plowed a punch right into Ben's gut as hard as I could. It literally knocked the air out if his lungs. My parents were mortified and horrified and fell over themselves apologizing. Ben's dad kind of shrugged, accepted my apology, and that was the end of it. In retrospect, I'm a little horrified that his dad didn't really seem to care.

    So, Ben S., if you're reading this, I'm super sorry about the second Sunday in June of 1986.

  • Yojeezy

    Maybe his dad knew he deserved it.

  • ChuggaWasTaken

    I have a younger sister who had massive temper problems when she was a teenager and used to get violent reasonably often. I eventually instituted a policy of "If you hit me, I hit you back". She tested the policy once, and that was the last time I ever hit anyone.

    I was hit in the face a few years back, I was at a McDonalds with some friends on the way home from drinking, and a guy came up to me and tried to start shit (he was with a girl, trying to impress her). Me being a smartass I just made fun of him and refused to stand up. Eventually he clocked me, but a combination of adrenaline and him being a small guy meant that I didn't really feel it, and I just continued to laugh at and make fun of him until he gave up and walked away.

  • PDamian

    Years ago, I broke a would-be purse snatcher's nose. It sounds a lot more badass than it was. My mom and I were out for a stroll in an open-air mall one evening, and some kid ran past us and grabbed my mom's purse. She had her arm linked in mine, or she would have been pulled off her feet. I pulled her behind me, which brought the kid up against me -- and in what has to be the most nerdy move ever, I bopped him in the face with a plastic bag from Barnes & Noble. It wasn't even a proper punch -- I just whipped the bag at his face in a sideways swing. I had just purchased two hardbacks (I don't even remember what), and the contact with his nose made a sweet crunch and bloodied him nicely. Two passersby grabbed the kid and held him until the cops came. My mother saved the bloody plastic bag, she was that thrilled: "Not even your father would have done something like that!" I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry about that.

  • BWeaves

    And THIS is why electronic books should die.

  • You kidding? Imagine how much damage a Kindle or Nook would've done when whipped at high velocity in a plastic bag. THIS is why Austin's plastic bag ban should be overturned.

  • BWeaves

    Yeah, BUT, suppose he already had the Kindle or Nook and just bought the books that went on it. Virtual ether doesn't make a dent in a guy's nose.

  • SottoVoce

    Kudos for being a good son, and for your taste in temples.

  • PDamian

    I'm a daughter. But thanks! My mom and I are pretty close; I doubt I would have reacted like that had it been anyone else.

  • Even more impressive, then.

  • Ooooh dear. Oh, deary deary dear.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Honest to God, I had a Fight Club experience years before the movie/book. A friend and I had a keg left over from a party. We put it on a dolly and took it to a park. After way too much to drink we started running the bases of the little league field. I was so drunk i ran straight through home plate and into the backstop in full stride. I drop to the ground like a sandbag. Didnt feel a thing. Got back up and kept drinking.
    My friend shines his cell phone on me and starts laughing hysterically. I knocked out my 2 front teeth. He keep laughing so i punch him in the face. Now he is bleeding. We both start laughing. So then we take turns punching each other in the face to see who can keep from falling. I do not remember the rest of that night. I do remember the trip to the dentist and the explanation/lie I gave to my boss as to why I had to end my Summer internship early.

  • Allijo

    I pushed a girl off the monkey bars in 2nd grade and she chipped her tooth. If I hadn't of learned nature pre-destined her to lose that tooth anyway, I might've felt worse. Note to others: don't steal my friends.

  • ImNotTheGreatest

    Yes, but the other people started it.

    One guy put out a cigar on my neck and I punched him in the eye and now he is blind in that eye.

    Another guy tried to steal my wallet at the train station and punched him on the chin.

    In high school a guy threw a rubber (eraser) at me and I wouldn't of cared but I really wanted to punch him because he was a dickhead and I jumped on his back and repeatedly punched him in the head.

  • BWeaves

    Just once.

    I was in high school and had my drivers license. I have a sister 3 years younger and a brother 6 years younger, so we were probably 16, 13 and 10. I had to go to the dentist after school, and my mother told me to take my sister and brother with me. Yup, I had to babysit them at my own dental appointment.

    Well, they were notorious for niggling each other in a bad way, and I told them to stop several times or they were going to get it. They didn't stop. They poked and prodded and annoyed each other in the waiting room and all through my appointment. When I was done and we got back in the car, I slapped both them. They were shocked. I drove us home. As soon as my Mom walked through the door, they ran forward to tell her that I hit them, and Mom said, "Well, if B hit you then you must have deserved it," and she walked away leaving them with their jaws hanging open.

    I never ever had a problem with them after that. My Mom was awesome.

  • darmatugan

    My brother tried to kill me last time I was at home.

    Punching him in the face and left my house. Haven't been back since.

  • MyySharona

    Not counting self defense, I slapped the ever loving shit out of a guy in high school. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but he had told someone something that I had shared in confidence and was trying to talk to me outside of my English class. Without even thinking bam! right across the face. Like his entire head rocked to the side. The entire hallway went silent and then there was that echo of "ooooooooh, damn." I walked into class and we never spoke again.
    I didn't even plan it, it just happened. I was quite the ball of anger at 15.

  • Rochelle

    The only person I've ever hit was a collage boyfriend when he was trying to flip my skirt up in front of a bunch of classmates. I said stop it once, grabbed his hand once, and slapped the crap out of him the third time.

    More recently I was punched in the chest by an angry stranger for reasons I don't understand. He walked by, punched me, and disappeared into the crowd. It was not my ex-boyfriend.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Interesting, I was once slapped by a scrapbook girlfriend for taking her glue stick.

  • Rochelle

    Was she 3? When my god-daughter was 3 she would cut a bitch for looking at her wrong.

  • Superasente

    I lived with a close friend and we had been pushing each others buttons. Also, we were both in very bad places in our lives; both marginally employed, single, and in close living quarters with another unhappy dude.

    Mix in stolen liquor.

    Anyway, we forgave each other almost immediately. Our friends broke it up quickly, and we were both mostly unharmed. Several years later I was his best man. It ended up being a bonding experience.

    But I gotta tell you; I still regret it. He slapped me and I escalated it with a weak punch. He held out his hand to end things and I clocked him, knocking him down. It was a cheap shot, and petty. I'm would take it back in a flash.

  • NoPantsMcLane

    I beat up kids for their lunch money.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Still?

  • NoPantsMcLane

    Well, yeah. It's now that i can beat them up. I never could as a child.

  • Uriah_Creep

    That was very funny. Now put on some pants, for God's sake.

  • NoPantsMcLane

    Never!

  • Uriah_Creep

    I figured you'd say that, so I've taken my pants off as well. Party!

  • Kobie

    Yes. Last time was probably 15 years ago ... I was protecting a friend who had just gotten cracked over the head with a beer bottle in an altercation in his normally quiet suburban neighborhood. Some members of the high school football team (4-5 years younger than us) piled into a pickup truck, went out looking for a fight and found us. My friend was pretty disoriented after getting hit by a full, unopened beer (which is akin to getting hit by a fuckin' brick) ... one of these nice gentlemen jumped out of the truck and started pushing him back as all hell broke loose. So I punched his lights out.

  • I had some issues when I was younger and in the military. To this day, when I close my left fist, I hear a bunch of pops and on the top of my right hand, I still have bone that sticks up from where I broke my hand hitting a wall.

    I had just found out that my buddy committed suicide at his mom's wedding and had to punch something and well...better the bulkhead than the kid next to me.

    From what I understand though from blacking out from rage and alcohol, I was notorious at the command for headbutting people. That and sending a shore patrol guy through a plate glass window in Crete.

    I don't drink anymore.

  • disqus_N4EigheiZo

    I punched my roommate yesterday. We don't have the healthiest of friendships.

  • APOCooter

    I'm a combat athlete, so I've hit plenty of people plenty of times with plenty of intent to inflict bodily harm. You might think I'm some meathead, but when I'm in a boxing ring and feel the soft thud of landing a hook to the solar plexus or liver, hearing the grunt as the blow and pain registers, and watching them involuntarily crumple, there is a sense of pride and accomplishment that I won't experience elsewhere until I get married or have kids.

    But I assume you're not talking about that. Yeah, I've hit people before. Mostly in self defense; I got into two fights in middle and high school, both in self defense. The first, I had a bully who wouldn't let me go home and knocked my hat and glasses off. The second, some kid followed me home with a group of his friends (though, in that case, I had been running my mouth off at school).

    There are also the obligatory sibling strikes. Most of them were/are (yeah, my sister and I are in our twenties and we still go at it sometimes; it's the nature of our relationship; we really do love each other very much) relatively harmless charlie horse type stuff. Though there was this one time, I as 15 or something and she was really pissing me off. She did something ,I did something back, she hit me, and I slapped her. Except I slapped her way harder than I thought I had. She started crying. I didn't get in trouble because I used the "she hit me first" argument (which is legit in my house; don't dish out what you can't take), but I still feel bad to this day when I think about it. The look on her face was pretty heartbreaking.

    All those instances aside, I honestly think I'm not a violent person. In competition or training, that's just part of the sport. We all know what we're getting into, no one is picking on anyone else. I think because of my combat sports participation, it saves me a lot of trouble outside the gym. I'm able to shrug off a lot of macho bullshit. If some dude calls me a pussy, I just laugh at him and be like, "Dude, I've engaged in unarmed combat with another man in front of 3,000 cheering people. I don't have to prove my manhood, and certainly not to you."

  • Buck Forty

    Er, you might wanna rewrite this bit, it has the potential to be read the wrong way:
    ""when I'm in a boxing ring and feel the soft thud of landing a hook to the solar plexus or liver, hearing the grunt as the blow and pain registers, and watching them involuntarily crumple, there is a sense of pride and accomplishment that I won't experience elsewhere until I get married or have kids.""

  • PinkGlitteryBrain

    Back in college I was in a bar in Boston with my younger brother. He was underage and got in with a fake id. As I was enthusiastically shaking my thang to B.O.B. by Outkast some friend of a friend gave my ass the BIGGEST smack. As I whipped around to smack his face back, I saw my brother's face and his fist. Instead of smacking the guy I talked my brother down so he wouldn't get kicked out.

  • e jerry powell

    Have I hit someone? Yes.
    Have I hit someone who looks like Brad Pitt? I only wish. Sex would have been involved if I had.

    In junior high, a girl (who about eight years down the road would be my pledge sister in a music fraternity) decided that she owed it to me to make my life a living hell, and she hit me in the gut one morning before school, so I gave her a roundhouse that, while it didn't ruin her life, certainly messed up her day.

    I know, violence bad. Bullying worse, and apparently it got her attention, because she and I didn't speak to each other again until college, by which time she had grown up a fraction.

    My brother and I fought a lot. At one point it did escalate to him pulling out a French chef's knife on me. Did not end well for him.

    The life of a little gay boy is so often fraught. Sometimes you fight back, sometimes you don't.

  • A. Smith

    I used to fight. I went to a catholic school with almost no one of color and I went out for sports. Almost immediately there was trouble. First a guy spit on my leg on the first day. A week later a confrontation with this guy. Mind you this was all before the proper school year even started, we're still in the summer. My next fight, which I lost, the coach's son threw me in some kind of tackling column thing that I couldn't get out of. Then again, he started it by randomly talking saying racial epithets (while there standing next to two people of color) so I kicked him. Then my last fight was with this girl whose name essentially was a car. I avoided her she came after me. Probably the funniest fight in that there were really no blows thrown. Unlike the other fights I had in my one year in catholic high school, I became friends with my last fighter.

  • e jerry powell

    Ford Probe?
    :-D

  • BWeaves

    Clit Taurus.

  • Aaron Schulz

    When i was 17 my brother(who was 27 at the time) and i were screwing around as siblings often do, sort of wrestling, i managed to get him in a full nelson and he threw his head back and hit me in the chin. for just a second i forgot we were screwing around and kicked him inthe back. like way to hard, he wanged his head on the wall pretty bad, and stood up without thinking grabbed a like 2 foot by 3 foot picture off the wall(the kind of crap you see in motels) and hit me on the top of the head with the flat side. He assumed it was plastic not glass, it was glass, shattered everywhere and i kind of sat down. My parents and nieces and sis in law were watching this and just exploded laughing initially, that is until they saw the pool of blood behind me.

    4 stitches and a hilarious conversation with a doctor about how i wasnt an abused teen, my brother and i are just stupid, later and that was it. All because i got a little to mad in a fake fight.

  • NateMan

    Used to fight with my younger brother a lot back when we were kids - bastard was stronger than me by the time he was 11 and I was 14, so he gave as good as he got. Never anything serious, though we did both up pretty battered most of the time.

    I've gotten in the middle of fights a bunch of times, but never thrown a fist at a non-sibling in anger. I did pick a kid up by the throat once in high school to make him shut the F$&% up. I'm not proud of it, but it worked and was well worth the one day suspension. And he was the same size/age as me, so it wasn't bullying. Sometimes violence is what seems the necessary solution.

  • frank247

    I've never hit anyone first, usually in (desperate) self-defence.

    Attempted muggings, street violence, a brother I couldn't care less about, you name them, I've been hit by them.

    Mainly because I'm small.

    And a wise-ass.

  • poopnado

    Nope, I've never hit anyone. I train a couple of times a week in capoeira, and I know I could hurt someone if I wanted to. But I've never had to. Is it bad that I sometimes fantasize about it? Like, I imagine some douchey bro refusing to leave me alone at a bar, and him going in to hit me, and me doing a take-down. And everyone cheering. I've had to push dudes away from me at bars a few times, but so far they've gotten the message and walked away.

  • KatSings

    I have those types of fantasies all the time, that deal with using the fight skills I've learned to protect myself or loved ones from terrible people. I'm never the aggressor, though, only the defender. But I feel you. (Though I have hit people in real life.)

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