Have You Ever Hit Someone?

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Have You Ever Hit Someone?

By Mrs. Julien | Comment Diversions | April 20, 2013 | Comments ()


I slapped a boyfriend once, my boyfriend. I was about 23 years old and he was driving me absolutely crazy, although I can't remember about what. We were joking or teasing, but I asked him to stop repeatedly and he didn't. When I tried to get away from him, he followed me into the bathroom and kept talking. The slap was over before I knew it had begun. It was not planned. I genuinely lost control and hit him once on the cheek. It was a gesture more than a blow. I was horrified. Stunned and horrified. He left the bathroom. We never spoke of it, at least, not until about a year later. We were over at a friend's house and having one of those "When was the last time you stole something? What lies have you told? When was the last time you hit someone?" conversations, so it finally came up. Pointing, I said, "I hit him once, but he never said anything." My boyfriend responded that he could see from the look on my face that I was so aghast that he didn't need to say anything.

I imagine that for a lot of you, the last time you hit someone involved a sibling, so I'll share a story about that, too. I have two sisters and a brother. Brother Julien is five years older than me and I worshipped him. We used to horse around and one day, when I was 8 or 9 years old, we were wrestling. My brother had me very well pinned and I couldn't wiggle free, so I used my knee to connect with the part of his anatomy that would ensure my speediest release. It worked and he was incredibly nice and calm about it. He asked me if I knew what happens when you kick a guy there and when I oh so innocently shook my head, he explained it to me calmly and carefully. He even told me I could use it as self-defense.

I'm not proud of that first story, but I simply love telling the one about kneeing my brother. Do have something similar to share?

Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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