Pajiba

Dammit, Pajiba. I'm always a day late to these parties because I only check the site at work. (I've got too much crap to do when I get home.)

Anyway, here's my list:

Jesus
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Albert Einstein
Tom Brown, Jr.
Dick Proenneke
Bob Hope
Ernest Hemingway
Sam Houston
Nathan Hale
William de Moravia, 3rd Earl of Sutherland

My father
My father
My father
My father
My father
My father
My father
My father
My father
My father

What? I miss him . . .

With Keith Moon, Kurt Vonnegut, Pete Townshend and William Shakespeare on the invite list, Mr Julien better have a really really extensive cellar. I guess Jesus could always make more if you ran short.

One version of my dinner party- actually an old fashioned barbeque, serve yourself and sit at the long wooden table- would include:

Martin Luther King
John Boehner -or- Paul Ryan (haven't decided)
Harriet "Moses" Tubman
Fannie Lou Hamer
Damien Echols
Bill O'Reilly
Abraham Lincoln
Hillary Clinton
Niall Ferguson
Winston Churchill
Guest of Honor: Tina Fey (I know, cheating with 11, but some levity will be needed here)

The alternates list included: Gandhi, Jesus, JFK, Bill Clinton, Michelle Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Ronald Reagan, Paul Ryan, Whoopie Goldberg

This the wish list for my totally self-indulgent birthday dinner party:

Timothy Olyphant
Walton Goggins
Denzel Washington
David Duchovny
Sting
Idris Elba
Abraham Lincoln
Barack Obama
Brian Cox (particle physicist) or Michio Kaku (theoretical physicist)
Julianne Moore

(I left off Naomi Klein to my alternates list for the BBQ)

The Doctors. Eccleston can stay home.

Douglas Adams
Neil Gaiman
Terry Pratchett
H.P. Lovecraft
Beryl Markham
Dana Lamb
Percy Fawcett
Osa Martin
Karen Blixen
Astrid Lindgren

My all female heroine actress dinner:

Milla Jovovich Alice, Leeloo and Jean D'Arc
Cate Blanchett Elizabeth twice and Galadriel
Kate Beckinsale Alice through the looking glass, and the vampire thing
Robin Tunney in the Craft
Famke Janssen Jean Grey and Xenia Onatopp
Cameron Diaz Charlie's Angel
Sarah Michelle Gellar Buffy
Kristen Bell Veronica Mars
Uma Thurman The Bride
Michelle Rodriguez everything

I would actually prepare and serve the dinner, after which they could fight over me, tournament-style. I wouldn't care who won. I thought about Jennifer Lawrence, but she's a bit young for my taste.

I can't even begin to list from throughout history, so I'm going to stay pretty current.

Amy Poehler
Tina Fey
Jon Stewart
Stephen Colbert
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Timothy Olyphant
Michelle Obama
Craig Feguson
Hillary Clinton
Nathan Fillion

Marion Cotillard

Jessa Crispin of Bookslut

Zadie Smith

Armistead Maupin

Patti Smith

My fella, who would be dribbling all over

David Bowie

Amy Poehler, to stop the company getting a wee bit precious

Robert Mitchum

Jean Ross, the real person behind Sally Bowles (and a lot more fascinating)

Serving dinner and providing entertainment: Tom Hardy, Karen O, Adrian Brody, Owen Wilson.

Oscar Wilde
Stephen Fry
Dorothy Parker
Mark Twain
Christopher Moore
Gráinne O'Malley
Eleanor of Aquitaine
Machiavelli
Emma Goldman
Neil Gaiman

My husband would cook and my sons serve, so they could enjoy the conversation, as well.

I see your list and I replace it with my own.

Henry Rollins

Dorothy Parker

Alexander Woolcott

Lucretia Borgia

James Earl Jones

Audrey Hepburn

Stephen Fry

Peter O'Toole

George Carlin

Neytiri

I contemplated inviting Chad Kroeger just to watch Henry beat the shit out of him, but decided it'd be more fun to try to get into the Na'vi's pants.

Okay, but are you still cooking, or do I have to do it?

You'll be off in the corner mauling Henry, so I guess I am.

1. tom waits

2. chan marshall

3. royal tennenbaum

4. john cassavetes

5. gilda radner

6. david letterman

7. hunter s. thompson

8. mr. rogers

9. billy joel

10. nina simone

I don't host dinner parties because my house is where I go to get away from people. It's like my Fortress of Solitude. I have been known to have people meet me at restaurants though. So my list would be:

Ronald Reagan
William F. Buckley
John Wayne
Clint Eastwood
My father, because he would kill me if he missed out on meeting the above gentlemen.
P.J. O'Rourke
Hulk Hogan
Sam Adams
Boris Karloff
Ann Coulter

How about some real Republicans, Like Lincoln, La Follette, T.R. and Ike?

Because Lincoln is a perennial favorite on lists of 'Historical people you'd like to _____ with' and I figured I'd branch out. Plus, if I wanted to hear about WWII, I'd invite Wild Bill Donovan and if I invited TR The Internet would crash my party and I don't need any porn and cat pictures.

1. My mom
2. Octavio Paz (so my mom can chat with him, too)
3. William Carlos Williams
4. Mindy Kaling
5. Terrence Malick
6. Jon Stewart
7. Tilda Swinton
8. Michelle Obama
9. George Harrison
10. Charlie Chaplin

I wouldn't invite most writers or painters I like because they would be either major downers or drunk as a skunk and would ruin dinner.

David Foster Wallace (I'm in the middle of Infinite Jest- I couldn't resist)

Lincoln

Ernest Hemingway

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Emily Dickinson

Paul Thomas Anderson

After three or three courses of exhausting (but absolutely incredible) philosophical/moral/cultural conversation and debate, I think we would all need a little lighthearted back and forth, leading to my next couple of choices)

Paul Rudd

Jennifer Lawrence (also the eye candy)

And to finish off the lineup:

Ron Swanson

My girlfriend (Collective awwwwwww)

Listening to Hemingway and Fitzgerald bicker would be fantastic.

Hell, I could make a list just out of commenters on here I'd like to hang out with. . Future Comment Diversion?

How would that work exactly? Also, I think there was trouble once when a thread devolved into naming which commenters we'd (general we, not me) would like to bang. It got out of hand.

Hmm, point taken, Mrs. J.

Truman Capote

Daria Morgendorffer (matured, post-series/college-age Daria)

Tina Fey

Willow Rosenberg

Bayard Rustin,

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Douglas Adams (seated next to my girlfriend/between her and I, she will be so happy)

Mary Shelley

Anne Frank

Jim Henson

And my girlfriend will be there, of course. I have no reason to need to wish for or invite her.

I wish my girlfriend could invite ten additional people, I'd love to see who would come out of that. In fact, I will ask her, when I get the chance.

Alternates include: Sylvia Plath, Federico Fellini, Werner Herzog, Donald Glover, Jane Austen Avatar Aang, Fire Lord Zuko, Vladimir Nabokov, Ray Bradbury, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett (*Sighs*) among various others.

Kirsten Bell,
A sloth,
President Bartlet,
Stephen Fry,
Dan and Casey from Sports Night (shut up, its like one person),
Joss Wheadon
Chingis Khan and Napoleon, (so somebody could finally explain to him how to conquire Russia),
The author of 50 shades so i could beat the living crap out of her.
And Churchill, to really get that party started.

Mr. Feralhousecat gave me his:
The Dude
The Chef from the Shining
Adele
Zoe Jakes
Quentin Tarantino
Dumbledore
Indiana Jones
Rigby from Regular Show
The Cheshire Cat
Myrna Loy

Did he read the rules? You can only have 2 fictional characters! I would have invited the entire crew of Firefly otherwise!

I'm torn between what would make a cohesive dinner party and who I would like to have a one on one with ( conversation, not sex)
Let's go with the one on one, like speed dining...
Amy Poehler/Tina Fey....that's a given, 2 funny females, just like my own homegirls
Steven Hyde.....for a 70's flashback and a really cool circle
Lee Marvin..... so manly you can hear his balls clacking together, though I'd hide the hard stuff, beer only
Damien Echols...already spoke to him, amazed by his intelligence and his serenity
Russell Crowe...my favorite actor so yeah, we'd talk about acting. Love his accent, love the bad boy
Mila Kunis...Why Ashton Kutcher? Why?
Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart....smart funny? Nothing better
JFK....Johnny, we hardly knew ye
Ted Bundy....why?
David Niven....a great storyteller with a British accent
Freddy Gilchrist....My friend who died when I was 17, funniest guy on the planet, we have a lot of time to make up for

The Dude
Hannibal Lector
Freddy Mercury
Bill Murray
Mae West
Josephine Baker
Gertrude Stein
Hunter S Thompson
Tina Fey
Tyrion Lannister
The Dude
Hannibal Lector
Freddy Mercury
Bill Murray
Mae West
Josephine Baker
Gertrude Stein
Hunter S Thompson
Tina Fey
Tyrion Lannister

The Dude
Hannibal Lector
Freddy Mercury
Bill Murray
Mae West
Josephine Baker
Gertrude Stein
Hunter S Thompson
Tina Fey
Tyrion Lannister

Mark Twain
Oscar Wilde (who would have to sit next to Mark Twain, because I'm curious who would win)
James McAvoy
Henry Kissinger
Molly Ivins
Catherine the Great
Noel Fielding
Madeleine Kahn
Jennifer Lawrence
Roman Polanski

can that be a dinner/sex party combo?

Marlon Brando
Pocahontas
Neil Young
Jane Austen
Ursula Le Guin
Jennifer Lawrence
Charlie Chaplin
My mom

Desmond Tutu
Penny Hartz (she'd come early to help me decide what to wear)

"Pocahontas, Neil Young"

I see what you did there.

David Bowie and Iman
Bill and Hilary Clinton
David Attenborough
Bill Bryson
Tara Moss
My dad and his best mate Warren who are hilarious together
Hmm number 10... I'm caught between conversation (Carl Sagan) or eye-candy who I can flirt shamelessly with all night (Taylor Kitsch)

Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick

and I'll keep a movie camera lying somewhere.

My newspaper regularly runs a feature in which some semiprominent townie is asked who he/she would most like to have dinner with, living or dead, and most of them pick some deceased relative. Jesus Christ. I mean, really, you could have dinner with Jesus Christ and instead you'd choose great-grandpa? Or mommy or daddy, someone you've already had dinner with 10,000 times? How fucking boring. I'm picking Jesus and figuring all my dead relatives would understand.

Actually, though, I'm starting with

1. Judas Iscariot

seated next to

2. Jesus Christ

Ooooooo, it is ON! Let's find out if all that forgiveness stuff was serious.

Bonus: If we run out of wine ...

3. Jeanne d'Arc

Because crazy teen-girl visionaries who lead armies in battle are fucking hot.

Seated next to

4. Alexander the Great

Talkin' ' leadership, and maybe fucking on the table.

5. Marilyn Monroe.

Because it's gonna be my birthday dinner, and she's going to sing me "Happy Birthday." Like that.

Seated next to

6. Babe Ruth.

Because I'm pretty damn sure the two babes would like each other.

7. John Lennon

Seated next to

8. John Lydon

Rock and roll meets mock and drool.

9. Da Vinci

Seated next to

10. Gallileo

Aw damn, means I have to leave Rasputin off ...

I reserve the right to edit this list when I wake up sober.

Well, then can be a standby/last-minute-cancellation/wait list, right? I mean, it would be impolite of me to have two empty seats at a table like that because Jesus had the flu and Judas hanged himself again or something.

So ...

On standby:

Rasputin

Seated next to

Machiavelli

Holy shit these lists are fantastic. Can't we just have one big party, and each bring ten people?

I swear that I didn't have his massive comment list assassinated so that I could be the one compile the Master List. (Because apparently I can do that. Maybe this whole time Prince Joffrey has been acting behind a friendly guise under your noses, and you never knew!)

Someone with more time on their hands than I have needs to compile this shit into a Master List. I see a lot of awesome, and some overlap (given as we all have wonderful taste) but not nearly as much as I'd expect.

I volunteer myself for this task, but where should it be written? And should I wait until I'm certain no one else will contribute?

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Me, Pacey Witter, and a really big dining table....

Nikola Tesla
My boyfriend's mother, who passed away soon before we started dating
My Gran, who is still here-- I like hanging out with her
Michelle Obama
Aretha Franklin
Mr. Rogers
Tina Fey
The Doctor
David Tennant so I can listen to his conversation with the Doctor
My future great-great grandson or granddaughter, at my age, assuming such a person will someday exist (you didn't give rules about time travel, but since I apparently know the Doctor, I think it's fair, and it seems like future people fall under "undead," no? Oh shit, does this count as a third relative? Or a second fictional person?)

Mr. Rogers
Kurt Vonnegut
Hillary Clinton
Sojourner Truth
Marie Curie
The Doctor (I'd prefer number 10, but I'd also take 9, 4, or 5)
George Harrison
Angela Davis
My late Great-Aunt and personal hero, Janice Pingel
Gilda Radner

Dorothy Parker
Oscar Wilde
The Clintons
Lincoln
Bette Midler
Gandhi
Bette Davis
Mark Twain
Jane Austen
Kurt Vonnegut

Nic Cage
Jason Statham
Phil Hartman
Kurt Russell
Amy Poehler
Gillian Jacobs
Alison Brie
Rob McElhenney
Charlie Day
Louis CK

Michel de Montaigne
Laurence Sterne
Dorothy Parker
Danny Kaye
Martin Gardner
Hillary Clinton
Dolly Parton
Tom Stoppard
Eminem
My mother

Verbal brilliance, awesome intelligence, blazing talent, and dazzling wit!

Chet Baker
The Virgin Mary
St. Bernadette Soubirous
Jaco Pastorius (my uncle)
Henry Darger
Salvador Dali
Judith
Gerry Mulligan
The BFG
Tyrion Lannister

Johnny Carson (in Tonight Show mode, not quiet reclusive personal mode)
Jon Stewart
Stephen Colbert (are we seeing a pattern here?)
Ellen DeGeneres
Bruce Willis
Bill Clinton
Meryl Streep
Carrie Fisher
My 2 daughters (they'd kill me if they missed this!)

This list is sort of an unintentional, 90% dead sausage-fest. But what the hell, it's my fantasy dinner party and these guys are the ones I'd like to pick to spend an evening with. This is also assuming they'll be attending in their prime rather than some grotesque living dead format...

Ernie Kovacs
Douglas Adams
Freddie Mercury
Alfred Hitchcock
George Carlin
Sergio Leone
Buster Keaton
Graham Chapman
Bill Hicks
...and one living guy, Gary Larson

Guess I'd better break out the shovels. These guys won't unearth themselves.

Ohhh Freddie Mercury- I'm so jealous he's going to your party and not mine (because I forgot to invite him!!)

James Bond (Craig or Connery style, either works for me)
Han Solo
Jon Stewart
Patrick Stewart
Allison Brie
JFK
FDR
Nathan Fillion
Philip K Dick
Donald Glover

...um can My table be bigger cause I have way more ppl that need to attend (The Batch, Fassbender, Brian Williams, John Williams, John Adams, Colbert, Natalie Portman, Charlize Theron, Tina Fey, MLK, Malcolm X, Jason Bateman, NPH, JGL, Felicia Day, Anne Hathaway, I really could go on and on).

That Bond choice is inspired.

My girlfriend
Matt Damon
Kurt Vonnegut
Bruce Springsteen
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bill Lawrence
Paul O'Neill
Tina Fey
Rhett Miller
Ellen DeGeneres

based solely on people I would want to have dinner with. If I wanted the conversation to be super-excellent, I'd have to fit in NPH and Craig Ferguson, among others.

Ellen DeGeneres!!! Well, my list sucks now.

Nice call on Rhett Miller. I didn't give enough thought to musicians.

Just saw him play Mountain Stage a month or so ago. He was fine.

Stephen Fry
President Bartlett
Neil Gaiman
Hayao Miyazaki
Regina Spektor

Stephen Colbert
Dumbledore
My mother
Sofia Coppola
Craig Ferguson

Peter Ustinov
Noel Gallagher
Adele
Kenneth Williams
Alfred Hitchcock
Billy Connolly
Nathan Fillion
Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde
Michael Palin
Daniel Day Lewis
The food was be in the style of a viking banquet with wenches pigtails pinned to the wall, so you can try to chop them off with axes.

OOOOOOOODDDDIINNNN!!

Upvoted entirely for the dinner description. Simply glorious.

Theodora of Byzantium
Theodore Roosevelt
J.S. Bach
Madame du Pompadour
Frederick the Great
Catherine the Great
William the Bastard
Edward I of England
Isaac Asimov
Harlan Ellison

I thought about inviting Livia Drusilla, but I'm afraid she would poison the other guests.

Anne Bradstreet
Amy Lowell
Sandra Cisneros
Julian of Norwich
Jane Austen
Elizabeth Bishop
Margaret Atwood
Denise Levertov
Ursula K. Le Guin
Edna St Vincent Millay

I'd have an evening of poetry and pleasure with my favorites. Not sure what the menu would be, but the wine would be the very best, and there would be a plenteous selection.

Ooooo, some really interesting choices there!

Kinda depressing to see only two women listed out of twenty total slots.

I prefer to blame the patriarchy which failed umpteen millenia's worth of fantastic women...

I thought of a ladies party:

Hatshepsut
Cleopatra
Livia Drusilla
Theodora of Byzantium
Elizabeth I
Catherine the Great
Victoria
Dowager Empress Cixi
Isabella of Castille
Maria Theresa

If you don't think Cleopatra was influential enough, substitute Madame du Pompadour.

holy crap. Is anyone leaving that party alive? Might as well throw in a Borgia.

But I give you props for Theodora, a woman I never tire reading about.
[edited: ah, hah, I think, thirty seconds later, when I see you comment on Livia's inclination towards poison}

Rats. I hadn't thought of Lucrezia. Fine woman, she was. I don't see them any worse than Genghis Khan or Edward I. (I also wish I'd thought of Freddie Mercury.)

Have you read any of David Drake/Eric Flint's Belisarius series? Lots of Theodora.

I have not read Belisarius, so thanks for that, I'll check it out.

No, definitely not worse than Genghis or Edward I, but I wouldn't be inclined to invite either of them over for dinner either.

But your consortium would definitely have a lot in common to discuss.

Hatshepsut is my historical girl-crush

Genghis Khan
Malcolm X
Jaye Tyler
The Doctor
Gillian Jacobs
Brie Larson
Emily Blunt
Lisa Hannigan
Anna Kendrick
Nigela Lawson (who would also be making dinner).

Alternates: Craig Ferguson, Louie C.K., Sterling Archer, Don Draper, Johnny Cash, Che Guevara, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.

Gengghis Khan, because its not a party till someone drinks horse blood.

Jaye Tyler is an excellent choice.

Unfortunately though I've stacked the dinner with my favorite women, none of whom will probably be impressed that they are being ignored by me because of a 1 season fictional character.

John Lennon
Paul McCartney
George Harrison
Ringo Starr
Mark Twain
Buster Keaton
Jane Austen
Glenn Miller
Jane Goodall
My grandmother
Don't know how well Jane Goodall would fit in, it seems like the rest of us might get pretty rowdy, but she's my hero, hopefully she would get as crazy as the rest of us.

Jim Henson
Mister Rogers
Terry Pratchett
Susanna Clarke
Ray Bradbury
Leonardo da Vinci
Emma Thompson
The Doctor
My maternal grandma & grandpa (they come as a pair)
The anonymous author of Beowulf

Oh but now I really want Mark Twain and Stephen Moffat and Paul Newman and C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien and Robert Heinlein and Harper Lee and Kurt Vonnegut and Merlin and Spock and Tesla...

quentin tarantino
tyler durden
tony stark
zach braff
james franco
mitch kramer (D&C)
rick linklater
jesse and celine
ewan mcgregor
Myself AKA THE DUDE

Bruce Willis
John Mcclain
Teddy Roosevelt
Michael J Fox
Fred Rogers
J.R.R Tolkien
Gene Wilder
Natalie Portman
Margaret Thatcher
Tokyo Rose

The way i see it, john mcclain and bruce willis are in case terrorist shit hits the fan, its also why id like to see reginal veljohnson and sam jackson on call as needed. Also ever read any of the papers Natalie Portmans written? She manages to be crazy hot and thought provoking at the same time.

Winston Churchill (he actually threw dinner parties like these)
Mozart
Richard Feynman
HG Wells
Abraham Lincoln
C.S. Lewis (read screwtape letters, he was hilariously vicious)
Bill Clinton
Mark Twain
Hadrian or Marcus Aurelius

My Wife
Me

I built this list thinking that we would want as few language barriers as possible. But if we pretend we all speak the same language, I'd make some mods.

Eleanor of Aquitaine
The Doctor
Thomas Jefferson
Niels Bohr
Richard Feynman
Jane Austen
Stanislaw Ulam
Elizabeth Gaskell
Pi Patel
Cary Grant

Eleanor of Aquitaine! Niiiice.

And she'd bring her own cutlery.

Emma Thompson
Elizabeth I
Richard Burton
Odysseus
The Obamas
Charles Dickens
Catherine the Great
Michael Fassbender
Judi Dench

Chris Cornell (sitting on my lap)
Charles Bukowski
Mickey (the Irish gypsy from "Snatch")
Gil Grissom (from "CSI")
Dr. King Schultz (from "Django unchained")
Kurt Vonnegut
Quentin Tarantino
Marie Antoinette (girl knew how to party)
Chuck Palahniuk
Lemmy Kilmister

(Damn, looks like I'm gonna spend tons of money on booze for that dinner)

The Clintons
The Obamas
My Granny (the lady was a HOOT!)
Michael Chabon
Simon Pegg
Nick Frost
Jennifer Lawrence
Jodi Foster
I'm disappointed that I couldn't think of any fictional characters who would beat those 10.

Arthur C. Clarke
Hugh Jackman
Joss Whedon
Podkayne of Mars

The Clooney
Lazarus Long
Tallahassee

Charlize Theron
Tina Fey
Dave Grohl

Bette Davis
Joan Crawford
Carole Lombard
Jimmy Stewart
Sharon Tate
Judy Holliday
Sailor Moon
Bub the zombie from Day of the Dead

The two greatest people who ever lived: my dear, sweet, hilarious British grandparents, Doris and Russell. RIP.

Lili Taylor
Oscar Wilde
Shug Avery
Dorothy Parker
Tick from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys
Amy Tan
Walter Pater
Michael Nesmith
Groucho Marx

PS- The evening would end in a threesome with me, Nesmith and Marx...