Pajiba

I'm fucking terrified of never getting a job, never moving out of my parents house, never finding love.

But more imminently I'm scared my TFT monitor is going to die on me.

Oh I'm also scared of slugs, they move far too slow to be trusted. The bastards.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, the New Madrid Event, and weaponized smallpox, in roughly that order.

I'm more scared of what the music industry has deteriorated into than what the movie industry has become, for fucks sake, the most popular acts in the whole damn country are Owl City and The Jonas Brothers. What have we become.

Aliens. I don't even believe in aliens, and they still terrify me. Too much X-Files and TLC specials on aliens as a kid (before TLC was all about makeovers and thousands of kids in one family and little people.) Honestly, you can just tell me a story about alien abduction, and a really lame one at that, and I get chills.

Oh, and considering the town I live in has been partially wiped out three times in ten years by tornados, let's move that up to #1. I'm absolutely terrified of stormy weather, especially when those effing siresn start going off.

Truth?
I really fucking HATE people in costumes. Clowns, Mickey Mouse, Chuck-E-Cheese, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus... You get the picture. I wrangle 1000+lb beasts every day, never back down from a big angry dog, Hell, I would probably wrestle an alligator if I really had to, but a guy in a costume?
Fuck.
That.
Noise.

The SO was asking me last night about seeing Where The Wild Things Are, and I hedged mightily, because I am not really sure he is ready for the tour through crazy-land that is my phobia for people in monster suits. If that movie was straight CGI, fine. But it isn't. Plus, I never really liked the book. (Treason!) Don't get me wrong, I can nut up and deal if I have to. I'm not completely stupid, I know that they are harmless, but the visceral reaction is not pleasant.

Suffice it to say that I will not be attending any Halloween parties.

Other than that, I dread the idea of losing the people and animals I love, but that is inevitable, I have already survived more than I though I could, and I can't ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.

Besides that photo up top?

Going blind.

for fucks sake, the most popular acts in the whole damn country are Owl City and The Jonas Brothers. What have we become.

Hey I enjoy listening to Owl City...and that terrifies me...

I also cannot cannot canNOT stand centipedes. I don't care about most any other bug out there, but a tiny worm with a thousand legs and I assume a million biting snarling little mouths scares me awake at night.

And the fact that someone even had the gurgling, horrifying fortitude to imagine a human centipede makes me want to sit in my closet with a running chainsaw and barrels of gasoline, if it will all fit in my closet.

And don't get me started on fucking millipedes.

Waking up without my penis.

In a close second, Tim Curry.

WHat am I scared of:

Sarah Palin/Michelle Bachman 2012.

Spiders. Pure and simple. I don't know if it's been the weather this year or just God's punishment for all my years of debauchery, but the creepy little bastards' annual "it's cold out here so let's all move inside!" migration has been especially abundant this year. Motherfuckers. Ghuuheeewwwgh!!!

Those morlocks from the Time Machine episode of Wishbone. God that was a good show.

In no real order.
1. Spiders
2. Clowns
3. Spider Clowns
4. Meth-heads
5. Super AIDS
6. Madonna
7. My GF just said commitment (ooooh snarky)
8. Emos in their thirteen yr. old sisters pants and make-up
9. Your dad coming home early
10. Whats Happening to America
11. Fucking up in Iraq or Afghanistan

"...by militant Atheists."

This won't happen; there's enough religious morons who will, though.

Atheists don't care enough to risk their own personal freedom for other people's idiotic beliefs.

The other idiotic believers, though, are the ones I'd really worry about.

- demon possessions

- bugs

- zombies. especially fast ones like in 28 days later

- creepy, cult-like towns where everyone is crazy.

- angry mobs (like that scene in The Mist)

- insanely deep voices

- diseases and germs

- when blood exits the mouth

- pretty much everything in Drag Me To Hell

- mentally unsound laughing

- evil goat creatures

- that twilight zone feeling when everyone talks to you and treats you like you're crazy.

- falling for some clever kidnapper scheme and ending up hacked to pieces because I thought I was helping someone out.

- crazy, murderous hillbillies

- pointy teeth

- slow torture done by someone with no empathetic feeling capacity.

- being pulled under water by something paranormal.

- messed-up looking eyeballs

- the cult-like following (as a whole) of pop icons like Twilight or Obama.

- when zombies or whatever get puss and death-juices into a live person's mucous membranes like in Dead Alive or Drag Me To Hell.

- the dying sister in Pet Semetary

...I think that pretty much covers it.

airborne pathogens, good one. I forgot I was scared of that shit too.

also put me down for blood clots, heart attacks, aneurysms, pulmonary embolisms and the like.

I can't even watch Doctor shows because I'm such a hypochondriac.

That blasted picture is scaring the hell out me.

And falling. That fear didn't come about until I fell 15 feet off a ladder. I bounced, it hurt.

Octomom

Girls with Adam's Apples

Barney

I believe I tricked myself into "Indiana Jones Syndrome", a self-inflicted paranoia in which watching Indy too many times as a child leads one to have a fear of snakes, who are in reality huge pussies. (Their defense mechanisms include shitting themselves and playing dead, although admittedly there are some dangerous mofos, I live in the northeast...)

Serial Killers/Psychos don't do it for me, cause I'm faster than them. It's not even close. Unless Usain Bolt is coming at me with a chainsaw, I'm getting away by running in the path directly in front of the fat guy. Natural selection, Globulous Joe!

I will admit that Aliens scare the crap out of me. Not X-Files aliens, they look like a knuckle sandwich would knock their bulbous heads back to Alpha Centauri. I'm talking Ridley Scott/James Cameron Aliens, if nothing else because they pause and grin at you before punching a hole in your face. Don't even get me started on face-huggers, if I hear something knock in my garage and those movies are on I send the dog in first...

I'm absolutely fucking terrified of that thing that's standing right behind you.

The dark. I can reason with myself over just about any other illogical fear I may have, except that one. I'm not too bad at home, where everything is familiar (and my hubby is here so he can beat/kill/get rid of whatever is in the dark), but anywhere else and I need a nite-light.

Utah Dynamo,

Because every funeral would be closed-casket, they couldn't get the last shriek of pain off your face.

Also, I would have to have a soul.

muahahahahahahahaha

In college I lived in the upstairs portion of a duplex. The people downstairs were not the greatest housekeepers in the world. This is important. I'm sleeping soundly, when I feel something on my arm (next to my face), so I do the only logical thing which was to flail wildly. That's when I hear something hit the damn wall. I hit the light next to the bed, and find my bed is an island amongst the sea of roaches that has migrated up from below.

Yeah, after the screaming I spent the rest of the night sleeping in the architecture building which was open 24 hours. Turned out the downstairs neighbors had moved out and left food in the apartment. A lot of food.

I'm scared of waking up with roaches in my mouth. Because I came pretty damn close.

Oh my god, Mrcreosote, that is a fucking NIGHTMARE.

I'm scared of spider, roaches, centipedes... basically icky creepy-crawlies.

I'm not really afraid of heights when I'm in a tall building or on a mountain, but I have a hard time flying. In my mind, if I crash in a car, I'm close to the ground, I can't really fall... but a plane crash? I'm fucked.

Also, I'm afraid of most major diseases (swine flu doesn't count) but I'm really terrified of getting sepsis. Sounds dumb, but when I was in college, a classmate died of sepsis. I make sure to clean any wounds I get, even tiny things like papercuts.

owl city WISHES he could be the postal service.

YES. Every time Owl City comes up on my iPod, I have to check if it's him or Postal Service. It's eerie how much he sounds like Ben Gibbard.

Me personally? I'm an aichophobe - meaning I've got a toweringly irrational fear of sharp and pointed things. Can't stand needles and injections, can't watch scenes in TV programs or movies that involve cutting or stabbing without wincing like a big blubbering baby... Hell, even if I'm standing in the kitchen with one of my housemates, and they happen to be holding a knife for a perfectly valid, culinarily-related reason, I find my gaze flickering nervously to the offending pointy thing during the conversation, and I take great pains to stay out of arm's length.

Also, mimes. I can't fucking stand mimes. Them, or those living statue fuckwits. Hate hate hate hate HATE.

Oh, and on a more movie-related note - people moving in unnaturally jerky/twitchy ways - like the butcher in the remake of The House On Haunted Hill, or pretty much any lank-haired Japanese ghost girl you could care to name. Unnerving, wrong, makes my skin crawl.

Suffocating.

When I was 12, a cousin of mine thought it would be funny to knock me down and press a pillow over my face. He had no idea that I couldn't breathe until I started flailing for my life. Since then, I can't be anywhere or in any situation where my breathing gets constricted or I freak out. I also can't watch movies where anyone has to hold their breath or I hold my breath too. Hell, I watched the Poseidan Adventure and almost passed out.

Also cave crickets. Those fuckers are just spiders that can JUMP UP AND EAT YOUR FACE!

*shudder*

SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS!

Sorry for going all Kanye West Caps Lock. I will literally jump out of my seat if I see one, and will keep my eyes glued on the sucker for the longest time just to see if it'll inch towards me. It's getting better now, but I still despise the little bastards.

Religious fundamentalists. Someone needs to make this horror movie (Rob Zombie, call me!)

Calvin: Help me (hic) get (hic) rid of (hic) these darn (hic) hic (hic) hiccups!
Hobbes: How?
Calvin: (hic) Scare me.
Hobbes: Our oceans are filled with garbage, we've created a hole in the ozone layer that's frying the planet, nuclear waste is piling up without any safe way to get rid of it...
Calvin: (hic) I mean surprise me (hic).
Hobbes: That doesn't?! Boy, you're cynical...

Ridiculously huge medical bills appearing out of nowhere in my mailbox from an incident that occurred almost a year ago. I thought I'd already paid them off, but lo! Silly me! Those were just the ridiculously huge fees of the various doctors who evaluated the results of the (unwanted by me, but I was in no state at the time to realize what they were doing, let alone decline them) scans and pokings and proddings. Ho ho, you silly fool!

I fucking love Halloween, and this little surprise is the crown jewel in the "I'm so scared I think I just shit my pants!!!!!!!!!" variety.

- Sharks

- Going to hell (30 years of Catholicism sticks to a girl)

- Serial killers

- Going blind

bees.
losing my parents/brother.
infertility.
michael myers.
car accidents.
'silver bullet'
spinal cord injuries.

I'm ok with pain. I don't claim to have a lot of experience with it (I don't get in fights or have frequent accidents or anything) but the idea of pain doesn't scare me so much.

I believe in euthanasia if that is a person's choice but I don't think I would ever take that route myself. If I was faced with terminal, painful illness or death I think I would take the pain and hang on for as long as possible. I wouldn't want to let go. I'll find a way to cope, a way to transcend the pain and take pleasure in the intensity of it. What is pain, anyway. If I am facing the end of my existence I'll take whatever you've got as an alternative. I'll go out like William Wallace at the end of Braveheart- at least you get a few last moments to be in. (Is that a very existentialist answer?)

As for what scares me, well, not being able to take care of my family, especially me daughter. I like to think I can take whatever life gives me but being responsible for someone else is a scary thing. Also, losing my mind to something like Alzheimer's or dementia.

House fires. A roommate once tricked me into thinking that our house had caught on fire (fog machine + garage door opener) and ever since, I've been extremely paranoid about it/scared of it.

1-. Something bad happening to my children
2-. Tight spaces
3-. Rodents in general. ALL rodents.
4-. The dark
5-. Things that go THUMP in the dark

Global warming.

peeing in the toilet in a dark bathroom ( I keep thinking somethings going to pop out of the toilet and bite my ass).

Alien abductions.

My real estate tax bill.

Turning into my mother.

And being stuck face down in a tight place.
No rebirthing for me!

Failing.
Losing the people I love.

And last but not least... LEECHES.

Anyone who has gone hiking in sub-tropical Australia can understand my pain.... YOU CAN'T EVEN FEEL THEM WHILE THEY ARE SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!

getting dementia in my old age, and not being together enough to off myself before I forget who I am.

My mom dying.

And, this is COMPLETELY irrational, but every time I walk up stairs that have open risers or go to bed, I worry about something reaching out from the dark space in-between the stairs/under the bed grabbing my ankle. Not just any something -- a long, bony hand (with claws, naturally) that snakes out and wraps around my ankle and won't let go. I'm a full-grown woman, and if the lights are off in my bedroom before I go to bed, I have to take a running leap at the bed to avoid the bony hand.

Clowns.

In no particular order

-Birds: I hate being startled by them as a rule, but more specifically sea gulls. They are evil, viscous fuckers that will attack you for no good reason. I was attacked by an entire flock of them as a kid and still have the scars on my arms.

-Wasps: Scary, viscous fuckers that will attack you for no good reason, although when they attacked me they had reason. I was gardening and hoed over an underground hive.

-Intelligent computers: No they haven't attacked me yet, but once they get smart enough they will. I read shit about computer code, and them beating us at chess, and their use for military strategy, and I freak the fuck out. Of course I am a Terminator, Matrix, BSG fan. But am I fan because it is what I fear or do I fear it because it is what they show?

AV Club did it.

I am afraid that one day I am going to fall down a flight of stairs and crack my head open and die.

Also, I'm scared that one day I'm going to lose this hatred of small children that I have one day and suddenly want to procreate. I think that I need to give the order to my friends that if I ever say 'I want a baby' they are to shoot me.

The kid with the dead eyes down the street.

The only thing I'm scared of is walking alone down a long and seemingly empty hallway, only to have someone turn around and sexually assault me. You can thank Irreversible for instilling fear in my heart when I'm making a turn in a hallway.
Thanks Gaspard Noe!

David Krumholtz. He stabbed Lucy and Carter!

I guess my fear of him comes from him personifying all humans that don't have the same pragmatic and rational way of thinking (or are just plain ol' crazy) as the rest of us.

and religion. Especially the Christian variety.

Spiders
Being tortured
Alzheimer's Syndrome
my kids reaching the teenage years
Being nothing more than a cog in the corporate wheel

Wow, this is depressing. Sorry 'bout that but we've had the morning from hell at casa Tyler and I'm not in an uplifting mood.

True story:
A spider roughly the size of my smallest cat just now skittered out onto my living room floor, and stood there looking at me.
Like it fucking owned the place.
Both cats and the dog backed away from this brazen little bastard. It was one of those big black/brown ones the size of a $.50 piece that stands 1/2" off the ground and has visible hair. Kind of like the hybrid monster spiders from 'Arachnophobia.' It didn't even have the good grace to make an effort to avoid the bottom of my slipper as it descended to squash it flat. There is nothing quite like the crunch of an exo-skeleton under my fuzzy slipper.
Shoulda RUN, motha'fucker! I don't take no lip offa no spiders.
Do you have a fucking job? Pay rent? Then you don't live here!

I HATE an uppity spider.

So I realize that this means it's killin' time in the ol' basement.
I love the smell of Raid in the morning.

There is a chance I am over caffeinated this morning.

Straight razors
Rape
Clowns
Fox News
Bumble Bees
Manbearpig

Hm, what scares the crap outta me? Well, spiders are up there. Any bugs with more than 6 legs, really. What in the hell do they need so many damn legs for?! It's just wrong. Clowns creep me out fo sho. Lindsey with an 'e' is kind of scary right now (I think it's the hyper-caffeination). Fire. Drowning. how weak my body has become.

Probably the biggest, though, the one that really makes me shit myself, is the fear of dementia/the Alzheimer's/any condition that makes my mind not work. I can't even imagine. I already have enough trouble with my memory, and that frightens me.

Also, cupcakes that don't taste good. *shudder*

Wanna know from scary:
Naked.
First time.
In daylight.
In front of new SO.
I need more coffee.

Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress.
OK, off to work. My students have NO idea what is in store for them today.....
I am ON FIRE, BABY!
Seriously, Maybe the coffee was a bit much.

idleprimate: isn't hemophilia a genetic condition?

I do feel bad for people with needle phobias; I'd think it's hard to get through life without getting some shots/iv/etc.

The good thing that has come out of this thread is that as long as spiders keep making baby spiders, women will still have a use for men.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK! ... um, I mean: Honey? I need you in the bathroom ..."

Junebugs are the work of the devil.

I think I have phermones that attract them. If there's one in within a 5 mile range it will find me and try to tangle itself in my hair. Stupid motherfuckers.

Coincidentally enough, this pic is from (if I'm not mistaken) Fright Night and it scared the living poo out of me when I was 13 and it's still the image my mind conjures up when I'm somewhere creepy in the dark.

Oh, and earwigs. I fucking hate earwigs.

Lwa'e', Give me some credit. I obviously meant those other scaredy-chicks who aren't tough-as-horseshoe-nails hot fillies like your bad saddle-ass, spider-stompin' self, my luv.

-Nuclear warfare
-war breaking out and Portugal joining the fray
-getting drafted
-getting arrested
-dying suddenly and unexpectedly
-remaining a virgin for much longer/never being able to find a woman
-suddenly discovering that I'm gay/impotent

OH YEAH, and I'm shit-scared of sucking my first time with a girl/finding out that I suck in bed. I can see myself lasting all of 10 seconds, the girl telling all her friends, and me never getting laid again.

*shuddddddeerrrrr*

the pic....

debra messing look alike... grace, from hell :P)

idleprimate:

The h1n1 vaccine contains: thimerosal (mercury), gelatin (processed pigskins) and/or formaldehyde.

It's not the needle that I'm scared of!

OH YEAH, and I'm shit-scared of sucking my first time with a girl/finding out that I suck in bed.
Posted by: Pedro at November 2, 2009 5:14 AM

1) Don't worry, it won't be a problem. All you have to say is 'You are so HOT I couldn't control myself.' Girls eat that shit up and it will work a few times. By then you will get some muzzle control.
2) Go and find yourself an nice Cougar to edumacate you in the sex. Someone old enough to be your patient, more experienced lover. 'Stiffler's Mom,' you know? Pick the right gal and you could get a real masters class.

1. Abnormally long escalators.

2. Taking a new pain reliever or muscle relaxant and having a reaction and not waking up and being eaten by my dogs because I live alone.

3. My dogs running away or getting lost and people being mean to them or hitting them with their cars or adopting them and not giving them back.