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May 7, 2007 | Comments ()


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Five Freebies

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles

Comment Diversions | May 7, 2007 | Comments ()


After last week’s downer of a diversion, today’s entry is light and breezy, and one you can all play, assuming you have a libido. I’m sure you’ve all discussed, at one time or another, with significant others (past or present), the five people with whom you are allowed to cheat — the adultery loopholes, if you will. I believe Ross Geller even laminated his list and kept it in his wallet, should such an occasion arise. In fact, Wikipedia even has an entry on it: “A laminated list, sometimes called a freebie list, is a short list of celebrities agreed on by a couple as so attractive to one partner that he or she has standing permission to sleep with any of them if the opportunity, however unlikely ever arises.”

The game seems fairly simple, but it does require careful consideration. It’s fine and dandy to put traditionally attractive folks like Jude Law or Julia Roberts on your list, but what are the chances that you’re going to receive a sexual proposal from one of them? Really? How disheartening would it be if, say, Isla Fisher asked you to go back to her hotel room and you had Keira Knightley on your list, instead? You’d be screwed now, wouldn’t you? (Or rather, you wouldn’t be screwed.) Because these lists are gospel, you know. If Ranylt has Jason Statham on her list, or if Samantha T has Ryan Gosling on hers, and we found out the two of you were sleeping with a non-keeper, we’d be Pajiba-bound to report you to your significant others. I’m sorry — it’s just the way the game works. It’s out of my hands.

So take a second and think about it, and then give us the five people you’d put on your adultery list. And please, try to refrain from including non-celebrities — it’s uncomfortable for everyone involved. Besides, neither Manny nor Vermillion need the ego boost. And TK is a married man — unless he had you on his list as well, it’d be awfully awkward, and we just don’t need the tension around here.



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