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Doggone It, People Like Me!

By Mrs. Julien | Comment Diversions | June 22, 2013 | Comments ()


madmen5-lanepunch.gif

What a delightful week of vitriol and recrimination we've had here on Pajiba! There was much throat jumping down and bringing of guns to knife fights. Scathing and bitchy, indeed. Let's be nice. Not too nice, I wouldn't want anyone to go into shock. Instead of all those comments that someone's opinions are virulent, their humanity suspect, or, I'm just saying, perhaps, overreacting from a safe, anonymous space on the internet, let us share a time when someone has complimented you.

I don't know if it's a Canadian thing or a WASP thing, but this one is actually going to be very difficult for me. If I did it in front of most anyone I know, family members in particular, I would be greeted with embarrassed silence. It's just so outré ...

Mr. Julien and I were out one day in a nearby town and we had split up to each go do things we wanted. When we met back up. Mr. Julien told me he had been was sitting eating a sub and he saw a beautiful woman walking down the street. He was thinking, "Wow, look at that" and then he realised, "Holy shit! That's my wife!". My sweetie may not have recognized me, but at least he thought I was cute.

[bracing self for one more]

Recently, someone introduced me to a new co-worker by saying, "Prolixity has the rare ability to distill her personality into her writing." It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I know that I write the way I speak, I am always surprised when I meet someone for whom this is not true, but it was so nice to know that I truly come across in my efforts.

Don't be shy. Tell us a compliment you've received, or go ahead and give yourself one. Don't worry, Brother Julien is not here to dryly interject, "If you do say so yourself."

Comment diversion suggestions, carnations, and explanations of hasenpfeffer can be sent here.







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • My favorite compliment I ever got was from a friend in college going through a terrible bout of depression. He said to me "thank you for showing me what it looks like to love the people in our lives with an open heart."

    I honestly couldn't speak after that one. I just gave him a hug and we went back to eating dinner.

  • denesteak

    i received a compliment today that made me happy. A reader of our newspaper (it's a paper in Cambodia) wrote my editors and said he really appreciated a story my colleague n i did this weekend about his hometown, which is very remote from main roads and difficult to get to by boat as well. He also said that his community rarely receives attention even from the authorities and NGO community because of its location. This Khmer man, who's in his 60s, actually took the time to send the email to us written painstakingly in broken English, to thank us for going to his commune and writing about it.

    You know how rare it is to get a letter or email from the public who thank us for our stories? Usually, it's to criticize or nitpick or tell us how stupid we are or how we've misquoted them or how we are biased or how we didn't talk to the right people. In addition, I'm very rarely confident about my professional work, but this was a story i invested a lot of time and effort in, and i was glad my colleague and I managed to do it.

    Anyway, my work is my life, so most of the compliments that I give a shit about are centered around my job -- and those come rarely. We're not really in a profession that believes in mushy back-patting.

  • emmalita

    I used to work for a trade organization. One day one of our members called the office and asked if we could fax one of our educational documents to a court house. I faxed it (cause that was part of my job) and a week later received a basket of pears and cheese as a thank you. We so rarely received anything other than complaints that my boss suggested I have the contents tested for poison. I think about how good it made me feel when I come across someone who, in the course of just doing their job, really helps me out. I'm much more conscientious about saying thank you.

  • Huckleberry

    I worked as an assistant manager for a guy at two different companies. He got laid off at the first company and then called me up and sweetened the deal to come to the place he got hired afterward to help turn it around. I left some paperwork on his desk in the office we shared by accident and was apologizing when he asked about it. He said " If you took a shit on my desk I would assume you had a good reason to do it" It's a strange compliment but a good one nonetheless.

  • katy

    My current job puts me in a position where higher-ups in my field are always complementing me on my leadership skills. I appreciate it every single time because I pretty much thought I had lost that altogether after leaving the workforce to raise three kids. Still got it!

    It has also been remarked on more than one occasion how impressively reliable I am at setting high reaching goals and achieving them. It's true, and I like knowing that others are noticing. I almost always get what I want.

    On the personal side my middle child started regularly saying to me a few years back that I was 'the best mom ever', and now I hear it out of all three of them. Typical mom guilt reminds me that it's not true at all, but at the right time it's great reinforcement.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    The nicest thing anyone ever said to me (aside from "I really super love you mama") is that I was "in this world, but not of it."

  • ZombieNurse

    A popular and very admirable girl I went to high school with once said to me "I wish I could be more like you. You aren't afraid of anything." That was a long time ago and it still makes me feel good. Granted, I was always scared, but I was good at hiding it.

    Second, and sillier, someone once told me that while she and her fiance had been planning their wedding, he told her that he wouldn't marry her unless she let me sing during the ceremony. I know it was a joke, but it also made me feel good!

  • Zirza

    When I was twelve, socially awkward and new to secondary school, I was sort of at the bottom of the social rung and terribly shy. One day I was working on a project with a more popular - if very friendly - classmate and I was making casual jokes, and she kept giggling and told me: "you're really funny." That was the most effective pick-me-up I've ever received.

    I'm also very proud of the way I speak English. I'm a native Dutch speaker and I didn't start learning English until I was eleven, yet native speakers who know me tell me I sound just like them. People who don't know me tend to assume I'm British when they hear me speak. As an English teacher this is a point of professional pride.

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    I love weird/unusual compliments. So far my favourites have been: "you're an endearing oddity, "you sound like a sexy robot", "you'd be a genius if you weren't so lazy", "if your mind was an amusement park, I'd buy a season pass" and "you're like a psychopathic puppy" (I'm not actually sure if this was a compliment, but I also got a glass with "Psycho Puppy" engraved on it for xmas that year...from the same person).

  • Mrs. Julien

    "You have a really nice voice. You should be a phone sex operator."

  • Melissa D

    I had one like that! I was a UN Peacekeeper and was C/S 0 on one of our radio nets (translation: in terms of radios, I was the HBIC). Because it was an international mission where most people did not speak English as their first language, I spoke slowly and clearly so everyone would understand. One of the boys told me he felt like he called a 1-900 # when he had to radio in. :p

    I should also note I was one of 6 women. That might have had something to do with it.

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    That's...actually quite a good one. It's better than sexy robot, I suppose I could be a phone sex operator for people with a Cylon (not the skin jobs) fetish.

  • Maguita NYC

    I KNEW IT!

  • ZizoAH

    Everybody that knows me thinks I should run for prime minister of Israel and Palestine at the same time, and that I would make world peace.

    The same people say I should go to a reality show a-la-big brother, because I would obviously win.

    I don' know which of the is a compliment, but sometimes they both feel like.

    Also, I've been compared (professionally) to Peggy Olsen from Mad Men, and that's the highest compliment it is, for me.

  • kirbyjay

    When my kids tell me I'm a great mom
    When Mr. Kirbyjay, who is a very funny guy, laughs at my comments
    When my friends call me the "queen of useless information" and call me for answers to trivia questions
    When my goofy yellow dog follows me around like I'm his pack leader.
    I'm not successful in my "career". I'm not rich or beautiful, I'm not famous, but my personal life is pretty damn good, so thank you to my great kids, my funny husband, my not so smart friends and my insecure dog.

  • trixie

    After a seriously rough couple of months two of my dearest friends decided to throw a "Why Trixie is wonderful day" on Facebook. I couldn't believe the amazingly kind things both they and many others said to me that day. I treasure those two like the gems they are!

  • ,

    I've been No. 1 EE I think twice,

    I got a DVD of "Fight Club" out of the first one. I've seldom been happier.

  • linnyloo

    This hits me in the warm and fuzzies.

    I'm moving away from my current town in a few weeks, so I've been getting a lot of "I'll miss you"s thrown my way lately, but I just got one tonight that made me feel sad and happy and special all at the same time.

    One of my dearest friends in my current town has been dating a man for a few months now, but he lives out of town, so we don't get to hang out often. We were both at her 30th birthday tonight, and we were talking about whether I'd get a chance to see him again before I left. He said to me, "You know, Michelle talks about you all the time, and I'm bummed that you're leaving, because I feel like I kind of missed out on getting to know you. Because from what she says, you're really awesome."

  • koko temur

    I recieved a complimented once that changed my life, in all seriousness.

    I was painfully shy and awkward in school. And was painfully aware of this fact so i wasnt olny awkward, i was hating myself for the fact. At 18 i was drafted to the army. Few months later i was offered to begin the long selection process of becoming an officer in the airforce. I went for it, just for laugh really. Cut to a year later when i awkwardly aced my selection proccess and were one of the first girls ever in a men officer school. Still being insecure.
    So we have this thing there, when anybody who is doing some sort of task for the team, like a lecture or being the one responsible for the waking everybody up for a week, needs to recieve harsh criticism from all. After each task we were sat in a circle and were forced to do so.

    One day, a girl i had no real conection to, gave us a lecture she was tasked to prepare. I was present in the lecture, but had to leave for kitchen duty during the "performance review". In the end of the day, this girl i hardly ever spoke to, cought me on my way to the shower and shyly asked if i can give her my review too. I was shocked, because those are so unpleasant, why would you want another one? Didnt you get it from others, i said. And she answered " yes, but i know that you would be the most brutally honest, but i can actually learn something from it". and it blew me away, i tell you. That was the exact moment when i chucked most of my insecurities away and started to look at myself diffrenetly. Yeah, i am not what you can traditionally call "fun". Yes, i am gloomy and withdrown. But i have value in it. I bring somehing to the team, and i fucking deserve being here. And im shuttering the glass ceiling with the best of them, so fuck off, im awesome. The person i am today started to formulate in that exact moment.

  • wsapnin

    The friends of my teenagers say that I am the "Cool Mom". And I don't even give them alcohol!

  • I had to tell one of the local teenagers to stop saying that in public, or the police might come search my house for pot. He thought that was hysterical.

  • Benderman

    In early 2006 I was working at a factory in Minnesota about to ship out to boot camp in San Diego. One day at the factory we had an Iraqi temp come in and he was partnered with me. After chatting for the shift and getting along well he told me he hopes I get deployed to his village. I thought that was nice.
    Also a stripper once told me I had a beautiful penis and that I should share it with as many people as possible. That was nice too.

  • TheAggroCraig

    This has been, by far, my favorite comment diversion. All this positivity is so uplifting and I'm glad I got a chance to read all these. We're pretty awesome, aren't we?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I thought we needed an antidote to the Week of the Long Knives.

  • kucheza

    Who in the fracking hell downvoted this? (draws long knife)

  • Mrs. Julien

    Maguita NYC's downvote stalker was bored.

  • Maguita NYC

    I humbly apologize for my people stepping on your people's toes Mrs. J.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Where is your downvote?

  • misslucyjane

    From a friend in high school: "You move like a dancer."
    From an Irish boy I was into: "There's something European about you."
    From a film major friend (we had been LARPING): "I think you're a really good actress."

    The best, though, the absolute best was when my two-year-old nephew, who'd taken a while to warm to me, decided I was the right person to kiss his boo-boos.

  • kucheza

    First, I would like to add to the chorus of positivity for Mrs. Julien's posts/comments. As to compliments for myself, well, I'm used to taking a lot of flak for my feminism, being called mean, over-sensitive etc. But every once in a while a woman friend will tell me how I inspired her to make a big, positive change in her life, and that makes me feel all the warm and fuzzies.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Oh, and co-workers often tell me I'm smart, but I prefer to think it's the fact that I've been working in my chosen field for 38 years. Jesus, I'm old.

  • Uriah_Creep

    I've never married and have no kids of my own, but I have many nieces and nephews. Over the years, quite a few of them have told me that I am their favourite uncle because I'm so cool and so much fun, and yet level-headed. When I think about that, I often get something in my eyes.

  • em.me

    My big brother actually laughed out loud and complimented me on a Simpsons reference I made. I always feel extra special when I amuse him :)
    Also the eight year old I was babysitting said that my hair was pretty.

  • foolsage

    My fifth grade English teacher once told me, "You're going to earn a Nobel Prize someday in a field they haven't invented yet."

  • Mitchell Hundred

    At the last job I had, my boss frequently remarked that if the place had five other guys like me the output would go through the roof. And when I quit he gave a little speech about what a great employee I was and how I made him laugh a lot (even without knowing it). He was always really upbeat and encouraging, so it was nice to hear stuff like that.

    Also, one time I made a remark satirizing birthers on Facebook, and someone who didn't know me asked for clarification that I was "the master of funny comments" and didn't really mean it. The person whose status I had commented on confirmed that I was indeed the master, so that was pretty nice.

  • superasente

    I've been told that I speak like I'm narrating - that my use of particular words, or my careful delivery seem planned. I don't think it was intended to be a compliment, but I took it as one regardless.

  • Mentalcase

    Throughout most of my youth I loved to draw. It was a hobby more than a passion I guess but I had some talent for it. Well, in college I took a couple of art classes just because a degree in my field required certain design credits and I went with what I liked. One of our in-class projects was to use colored pencils to draw this bull's skull (this was Nebraska after all) the professor had set on a chair on a platform in the middle of the room. After about a week, when everyone was finished and the prof had time to review all of the work, we spent the day with him presenting each finished product and encouraging discussion...this one has nice composition, this one needed more work on shading, etc. When he propped mine up he simply stepped away, took a moment, turned to the students and said bluntly, "This is the best one in the class." This was followed by many comments of accession from my classmates. The piece was framed and put on display in the commons of the main building. It's one thing to be told you have talent. It's quite another to realize you actually might be better than you think.

    Again, it was all just a hobby. I didn't become an artist and eventually gave it up almost entirely. Cut to 15 years later when I was visiting my family and we were all just lounging around the house one night and my sister says to my 4-year-old niece, "Would you like your uncle to draw something for you?". Uh oh. On the spot now. I ask her what she likes. "Mermaids?" she says. I use what I they had on hand...crayons. Alrighty. Wouldn't you know it though, I've still got it. It turned out pretty nice, my adorable niece loved it, and it hangs on their fridge to this day. Best complement I can ever hope for.

  • DeaconG

    Last year and this year I lost a ton of weight (80 pounds) by walking on the local high-level bridge up to 4 miles a day on the weekdays and 2 on the weekends starting in March 2012, then in October I started working out with adjustable dumbbells at home before my walk. Needless to say I like the guy I see in the mirror now, and it blows my former co-workers away when we meet every month and they see how much I've lost.

    My neighbors across the street told me recently "We are so proud of you for what you've done, you used to be a big boy; it look us a lot of time to finally recognize you now, we knew your voice but the body didn't match up."

    I sen pictures of myself to my Mom for Mother's Day and she said "If you hadn't told me what you were doing, I would have said that's not my son!"

    But the one that stuck with me was this past February when I was taking my walk and a woman I hadn't seen since the middle of last summer on that bridge stopped me and said "OMG, I can't believe that's you! You've lost all that weight! You look so good!"

    I considered that high praise, and a motivation to keep pushing no matter what.

  • Melissa D

    One silly one and one verklempty one (and generally I, like many of you, do not take compliments well).

    Silly: I had to work the day after my best friend's wedding. I was a bridesmaid, so my hair was done up all purty - up at the sides, but long, blonde curls everywhere else. My hair was hairsprayed to within an inch of its life, so it didn't move even when I slept and I was too tired to wash it all out before I went to work (it still looked nice, I swear). An older British gentleman came in to get his paper and said "You look just like the Lady of Shallot." Certainly original!

    Verklempty: I am in my 30s and have decided to change careers and be a nurse. About 5-6 weeks ago, I finished my first clinical experience, which I absolutely adored. We all worked in a nursing home, and the patient I was assigned had ALS (at the age of 82) and was having great difficulties dealing with her rapid decline (from walker to total wheelchair dependence in 3 months). She was not afraid to die, but she was deeply terrified of the loss of her cherished independence, and she had developed responsive behaviours as a result and relations between her and the staff weren't great. Things had settled down when I got there, not because she found acceptance in her disease but because she was resigned to it. It was really quite heartbreaking. Although I knew I couldn't cure her ALS, I tried as much as possible to find ways to bring little comforts to her. I just wanted to help her find some comfort and peace in her final days.

    When my clinical was over, I went to say goodbye to her and since my bladder is close to my eyes I quickly teared up as I said my farewell. I told her that she was my first patient and that she had taught me so much. She hugged me back, and told me "You taught me that there are still people with human caring." I will remember that throughout my life, and I hope I will always be able to stay that way.

  • Maguita NYC

    My biggest wish for my final days is to be taken care of by decent human beings like yourself @Melissa Doucette. Please do not change!

  • Melissa D

    You are kind, thank you. :)

  • Melissa

    Our 401k plan auditor told my boss that I was one of the best staff accountants she had ever worked with, that I was miles ahead of people that had been in the field for much longer than I have been(~5 years).

    Totally made my day, and makes those crappy days that much easier to get through :)

  • ferryman

    I vaguely resemble Bruce Willis and carry my work related tools in an old physician's bag. A friend once told me that every time I have the medical bag on my person he thinks I look like a contract assassin. Strangely; that comment gave me joy.

  • Tinkerville

    I work in Hollywood where it's rarely kosher to compliment assistants. 98% of the time executives prefer to pretend they've done all the work themselves and likewise compliment fellow big shots on their work despite the fact that they know it's their assistant who did it all.

    Anywho, when I was just starting out and wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into, my former boss not only admitted to his agent over the phone that I had done all of the work on a project but that I did "one hell of a job, too." At a time when I was questioning my decision to go into the field and thought he was an asshole most of the time, it was small but really meant a lot.

  • Vangie13

    I'm a professor and just received my end-of-the-semester student evaluations. They were quite positive, which makes me happy, but one student took time to note: "Vangie13 actually knows everything! Class improvement? More cowbell." I've been giggling to myself ever since.

  • BiblioGlow

    This has no connection whatsoever, but your little avatar pic thingy is awesome.

  • PDamian

    My friends and coworkers call me, "She who slings the big words." (One of my coworkers started it, and it stuck. Another coworker refers to big words as "PDamian words." It's meant as a compliment most of the time, although some become impatient with my use of "Five-dollar words," as another friend puts it. I love big words, so as far as I'm concerned, it's always a compliment.

  • emmalita

    When I was little a friend's family called me the little girl with the big words. They didn't mean it as a compliment, but my mother insisted I should take it as one. I love words of all sizes.

  • ferryman

    I like big words and I cannot lie, "lacrimation" means "to cry"...

  • Mrs. Julien

    I was at the Tate in London and a man who worked there stopped to tell me I "look like a pre-Raphaelite". I still don't know what that means. I do have a fairly strong jaw.

  • Salieri2

    Well, hello, internet doppelgänger!

    A now-ex of mine once compared me to Rosetti's May Morris painting, of which he helpfully gifted me a print so I could appreciate the striking resemblance. I did know about my nose and jaw already, but it was kind of a hard compliment to be happy about.

  • ferryman

    Julia Louis-Dreyfus?

  • kucheza

    But why? She's beautiful! I absolutely love strong features on a man *or* woman.

  • Salieri2

    I realize it's messed up, but it took me a long time to meet you halfway on that. What Mrs. Julien said about the masculine jaw. Actually May Morris's nose seems quite restrained, ima take that part back.

  • kucheza

    It's messed up, but it's not your fault. We're bombarded with a breathtakingly narrow definition of female beauty all our lives. Embracing your own unique, interesting and expressive brand of beauty is a revolutionary act, and those ain't easy.

  • Mrs. Julien

    And I look NOTHING like that. Hence my original confusion, strong chin notwithstanding.

  • BiblioGlow

    While working in a bookstore a little old man I was ringing up told me I looked like a 'Flemish angel'. I googled it and still have no idea what it means. I assume it's a compliment.

  • emmalita

    I tend to think anything described as angelic is beautiful.

  • BiblioGlow

    Good point.

  • PDamian

    It's definitely a compliment. Think Van Dyck, or Vermeer:

    http://www.codart.nl/ul/cms/ev...

    I remember reading once that Helen Hunt (As Good As It Gets) had the look of an angelic Flemish milkmaid. Not sure if that helps, but I've always thought she was lovely.

  • BiblioGlow

    Cool, thanks! I figured it had to be a compliment, since no one would go to the trouble of constructing such a random and intelligent insult.

  • emmalita

    It means you are beautifully voluptuous.

  • e jerry powell

    TITIAN!
    TITIAN!
    TITIAN!

    The best pre-Raphaelite!

    Okay, so Titian is a contemporary of Raphael. Whatevs.

  • emmalita

    That's what I was thinking!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Some day I'm just gonna say Fu*k it and link to an actual picture of me. From 1999.

    But not today.

  • emmalita

    I'm middle aged, overweight (fat) and my hair has streaks of silver grey. I date much more now than I did when I was young and skinny. And the quality of men I'm dating has dramatically improved too. I've been told that my comfort with myself is part of what makes me attractive. I would only be in a magazine as a before picture, but I get asked out a lot. I'm not saying the reaction of the opposite sex should be your gauge for beauty. I am saying, you are probably a much harsher critic than you deserve.

  • koko temur

    This gave me the fuzziest feeling!

  • kucheza

    This. Also intelligence and kindness and a sense of fun tend to shine through for both men and women.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I thought it meant I have kind of a masculine face...

  • ferryman

    Remember; the canvas adds 15 pounds!

  • emmalita

    Stop that!

    A beautifully masculine face.

  • e jerry powell

    My ex-roommate was in town from Houston with his company for a work conference this week. He seemed to have nothing but nice things to say about me and paid for dinner twice.

    I got no complaints.

  • Lovely Bones

    Good to know that not all of my neighbors (I'm here purely on reluctant terms, to be clear) are unpleasant. And nice to see you again, by the way. Sorry I haven't been on Pajiba a whole lot.

  • Erin S

    I read (and printed out) two recommendation letters my favorite professors wrote for me during college. One was provided to me by my advisor who wrote it and felt that I had a hard time complimenting or "selling" myself in application letters, so he wanted to give me a confidence boost. Mission accomplished!

    The other I attained through somewhat...stealthy means. I'm glad I did, because it includes some of the nicest things I've ever read about myself. I won't go into detail, but the main points were: "She is smart, funny and friendly," "her love of language and expression will serve her well," and "Of all the students in the class, she stands out in my mind as one of the most diligent and sincere."
    Gosh, I'm blushing now.

  • Heather Mooney

    Three years ago, I was laid off of my job as a middle school teacher. I had been teaching for 20 years, but had decided to move to this district only that year, making me one of the last hired. The HR reps pulled us out of our classes on three middle of the day to give us the news. Needless to say, I was devastated and terrified. I went home for lunch to get myself together, and came back to school for my last class. When I got to my room, two teachers were waiting for me. They told me that one of my students, an emotionally disturbed boy I had put my heart and soul into reaching, but whom I felt I had never really gotten through to, had been in the counselor's office most of the day very upset after he'd heard that I'd been let go. "She's the only person here who really cares if I learn anything," he told them. I'll never forget that moment and how it felt. Luckily, I was hired back before the next school year. I was selected as Teacher of the Year this year, and the teacher who nominated me referred specifically to that boy and my ability to reach him. It's truly one of the most moving memories of my whole career.

  • Uriah_Creep

    That's beautiful, Heather.

  • Feralhousecat

    A few months ago our Siamese cat developed a tumor in his intestine. After surgery he had a feeding tube in his neck. For 6 weeks I fed him every 3 hours with liquified cat food in a syringe.

    One morning around 3am my husband rolled over in bed and half asleep heard the cat purring while I injected food directly into his neck. He smiled and said to me, "You would totally ace Care of Magical Creatures".

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Extra points for the Harry Potter reference.

  • I blog about kids and sleep, which is about as Internet-sexy as blogging about fax machines. But in the past 2 months I've gotten fan mail from two separate and unrelated Cirque du Soleil trapeze artists (apparently they call themselves aerialists) saying that I saved their lives. From this I have extrapolated the following claim: I am the leading baby sleep expert among top aerialists.

    A few months ago a respected friend said that she thinks I am the most self-reliant person she's ever known. I'm still not sure if this falls entirely in the "compliment" category but for the purpose of today's discussion I'm going to claim it is.

  • Lovely Bones

    I hope that this doesn't sound forced or sycophantic or anything like that, because I mean it with the utmost sincerity, even while I'd admit what I'm going to say will sound silly. How meaningful can a compliment from someone effectively anonymous truly be, after all? Quite a bit, it turns out, especially during a frustrating school term amidst which one realizes that they once more ought to try and not take things so seriously and treat their friends a little better.

    Goodness, I'm long-winded.

    What I'm saying is that, coming from someone who has always come off as incredibly kind, despite our 'scathing and bitchy' mantra, whose writings on here I have read most of and for whom I have the utmost respect, like yourself, Mrs. Julien, it is truly an honor to be told that I have "many kisses in [your] heart." I can't help but question how accurate you might be on that, but it was a comfort to hear from you nonetheless.

  • Miss Kate

    I was at a professional talk with a friend of mine. One of the speaker's quotes was, "surround yourself with the smartest people you know." My (very smart) friend turned to me and said, "That's YOU." I was surprised and pleased.

  • apsutter

    I love the pinup style of dress and often wear wiggle dresses and wear my hair like that period. Well I'll often get compliments from men and women who are surprised by my style and fun ones like "Girl, you got more curves than a race track" that kind of thing. But the nicest one was an older gentleman who approached just to talk to me and tell me that I looked just like his late wife. It was so sweet and he said he really admired young people who take care of their appearance in that way.

    And one of my dearest and nicest friends(he's seriously like a real like Buddy the elf) texted me at random when I was having a hard time just to let me know how much I meant to him and that he knew that I'd be a success because of my positive attitude and personality. It was really special to me and gave me such reassurance.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    I am complimented when someone laughs at one of my jokes.

    But when someone commented that I had lost a few pounds and I looked good, I immediately said "Aw, just a few", and changed the subject.

  • rio

    I hate myself, absolute hate which makes any compliment or love I receive being sucked in the black hole that i have where my heart should me. I have really no value yet Im surrounded by lovely people that manage to somehow find value in my presence, but I believe that has more to do with them and their ability to appreciate everyone in their life one way or the other rather than any real value I might have as human being. I tried to change this attitude multiple times but it's seems to be part of who I am.

  • HerGuyWednesday

    I'm the same-- I have depression and self-worth issues, so I find it hard to accept a compliment. Because I have a low opinion of myself, I often tend to have a lower opinion of others if they have a high opinion of me (like, "Why are they so dumb that they think something good about me?"). I've been working on correcting this instinct for years, and while I'm better now, I still have loads of work to do. Minds suck sometimes.

  • androstarr

    Just remember that you are more beautiful, kind, and fun than you think you are. Repeat it over and over to combat the negative thoughts. If you say it to yourself ad nauseum, you may just start to believe it. It worked/works for me.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I sometimes point out to people why they are wrong or misguided when they compliment me.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    People are finding value in you because you have value. Stick with these people. They are good for you.

  • emmalita

    You are not alone in your attitude. I have a few friends who feel that way about themselves. sometimes it frustrates me that they don't like themselves as much as i like them. but rather than arguing, i try to lead by example. I feel certain that your friends have a more accurate view of you than you do of yourself.

  • llp

    You should trust those lovely people, trust that their high opinion of you is correct.

  • TheAggroCraig

    The #1: In college a friend told me, "The world needs more people like you." And she wasn't just being flippant, she meant it. It remains, easily, the best compliment I've ever received.

    A more recent one: I was going to meet someone for dinner in a sort of artsy-fartsy part of town, and afterwards I was going to see the orchestra, so I wore a suit, tie, the whole thing. A woman at the bus stop (no slave to conventional fashion was she) said, "I like your colors!" If someone who lived there thinks I did alright, then I did alright.

    OK, one more: I didn't hear this one firsthand, it was passed along by my dad, but apparently someone in our hometown described me as "the perfect example of an Eagle Scout." It stands out because it made Dad so proud.

  • emmalita

    Several years ago during a conversation with a co-worker, I commented that I appreciated her communication skills. She started crying and told me she treasured my compliment, because I only ever commented when someone did something wrong. That was an eye opener. I decided I'd rather tell people nice things I thought about them than have my compliments valuable because they were so scarce.

    My favorite compliment is that my friend's son has kept me on his 5 favorite people list for the past3 years.

    My second favorite was given to me by a man I don't know who told me the streaks of silver in my hair were beautiful (helped with my aging self esteem).

  • Kris

    When my husband's best friend was trying to describe me to another friend, he called me "the one you'd want to have around if the zombie apocalypse happens." That made me grin for a solid week when I heard about it later.

  • blacksred

    Thats how my husband and in-laws describe me!! Wanna be on my team?

  • Brooke

    I've always struggled with my weight and been insecure about my appearance. When I get compliments regarding an aspect of my appearance it always sticks with me. I realize it's a shallow thing, but I know I'm intelligent, so compliments on my brains don't stick with me the same way. I've been asked a few times if I wear colored contacts, because no one could have eyes as bright and blue as mine. I don't. I'm also complimented on my smile a lot. I'm a naturally dour person, so when I do bother to smile a genuine smile it apparently transforms my face. It's been called contagious more than once.

  • Brooke

    I just remembered one that had nothing to do with my appearance. I'm an extreme introvert, but I've always wanted to be an actor, if I could just get past that. When I was in high school I forced myself to try out for the school play so I could step outside my comfort zone. The day the roles were announced I happened to be in the school office. The principal, who up until now I had never met and I was sure he didn't even know my name, came out of his office and spoke to me. He said my drama teacher had specifically told him about my audition, she was really excited to cast me, and they both expected good things from me. He said he couldn't wait to see me on stage. That really meant something to someone who thought they were a complete nobody in high school.

  • Salieri2

    I have similarly blue eyes, and have stopped being surprised when people I meet blurt out some weird aside about it, but I still don't know how to respond. Once--once!--I got off a "Thanks! I just had 'em done!", but I've never been able to think as quickly again, so I usually just stammer something awkward and move on.

    It's not a quality or achievement I can take credit for, you know? They're just there.

  • Maya

    My 8th grade English teacher wrote in my yearbook: "It has been a pleasure to have you in class this year. You are destined for great things in life. Enjoy." At the time I was an insecure 14 year old with anxiety and self esteem issues* and getting that message from a teacher whose class I'd actually felt confident in and enjoyed (I hated school, mostly because of said anxiety issues, so looking forward to a class was a big deal for me) was really encouraging...even if she probably wrote some variation of that for half her students.

    *Now I'm an insecure 18 year old with slightly less severe anxiety and self esteem issues. Yay for personal progress!

  • Melissa

    Heh, my Calc teacher called me a conundrum one time, because me and Calc get along as well as two wet cats...but yet, I could spit the definitions of terms out practically verbatim and basically understand them, too, just could not pass the tests for the life of me.

    But anyway, teachers that acknowledge personality traits old than 'shit-faced brats' deserve and A+ in my book.

  • hippyherb

    One of my high school teachers wrote in my report, "I often wonder if Susan is on medication, she is so vague".

    Well done on the personal progress.

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