Cherry Poppers

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Dustin Rowles

Comment Diversions | May 21, 2008 | Comments (215)

I’m sure there’s some way to combine the answers to these three questions and come up with your porn name (you’re encouraged to try!), but today’s comment diversion is an otherwise thought-free affair: Name a few cherry-popping experiences: Your first concert; the first movie you saw in a movie theater; and name the first person you ever kissed. As for me:

1) First Concert: Bon Jovi/Skid Row (Slippery When Wet Tour)
2) First Movie in a Theater: E.T. The Extra Terrestrial
3) First Person Kissed: Marsha May. Under a table. During a sleepover. In 2nd grade. French-style. It was gross. We did it for hours anyway.

Porn Name: Marsha Bon Jovi, The Extra Terrestrial.

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Comments

1) First concert: Some country concert with the parents. First of my own choice: Ozzfest

2) First movie in a theater: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

3) First kiss: kindergarten, I don't remember the name. He was weird. I remember that.

Posted by: Melody at May 21, 2008 2:37 PM

Garth Brooks, cheap seats, smelt like throw up, went to sleep.
Little Mermaid, my mom and aunt cried during the entire show, and I was probably asleep considering I was a baby.
A boy that I now hate. God, I hate him.

Posted by: Emily at May 21, 2008 2:37 PM

1) First Concert: MC Hammer (unashamedly)
2) First Movie in a Theatre: Snow White
3) First Person Kissed: Dallas Ivey

Porn Name: Dallas Snowhammer
Actually, that's kind of awesome.

Posted by: Muttley Crew at May 21, 2008 2:37 PM

First Concert: Moving Hearts (incredible Irish folk band with Christy Moore, Donal Lunny)

First movie in a cinema: Mary Poppins

First person kissed: I'm embarrassed to admit I never knew his name (the slut streak was apparently never far from the surface). He was fifteen and had the poster next to mine at the annual Young Scientist Exhibition (note: this doesn't denote Einstein-like intelligence. Everyone entered because it meant a week off of school).

Porn name: Moving Mary, the Exhibitionist

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 21, 2008 2:39 PM

1. New Kids On The Block ( Hey I was 7!!!)
2. Ghostbusters (That I can remember)
3. This boy named Jonathan, I was at his sisters B-day Party, We snuck in her closet and smooched. He was also a year younger....

Porn Name = Johnathan New Kids, The Ghostbuster???? LOL

Posted by: Jax at May 21, 2008 2:39 PM

First concert: Busted
First movie in a theater: Hunchback of Notre Dame.
First person kissed: Jake Proctor, 6 years old, backstage after the school's Christmas production. I was Mrs Santa Claus, he was Mr Santa Claus. Clearly, we were meant to be!

Porn name: Santa's Little Busted Hunchback?

Posted by: Biro at May 21, 2008 2:39 PM

1) First Concert: Stone Temple Pilots with Reliant K opening for them in 1996. Reliant K sucked. But damn, Weiland was at his peak of sexy then. Drugs are bad, mmkay?
2) First Movie in a Theater: I seem to remember a Star Wars of some kind, which would have to be Return of the Jedi when I was 4. That seems about right.
3) First Person Kissed: His name was...um. Dave! Dave Something! It was on my birthday and he turned out to be a total jerkass stick in the mud. If I had a kiss before that, I cannot recall.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at May 21, 2008 2:40 PM

Spandau Ballet! in 1985 or 86... when they visited Australia! ahaha Awesome.

I'm not sure about the movie, because my Dad took us to the cinema a lot when we were little. Possibly Star Wars!

Joe, under the billiard table, when I was nine.

Joe Spandau the Forceful Jedi

Posted by: Loob at May 21, 2008 2:41 PM

1) First Concert: Carpenters/Sugar Ray (The 14 year-olds' high decibel scream almost killed my ear)
2) First Movie in a Theater: Don't remember. It could have been E.T. as well.
3) First Person Kissed: Anna. After party of my first ever written and directed play. I was massaging her when she french kissed me.

Posted by: yocean at May 21, 2008 2:41 PM

Porn name: Annalifical Carpenter

Posted by: yocean at May 21, 2008 2:41 PM

First Concert: Def Leppard, Pyromania Tour. That is correct, sir.

First Movie in a Theater: Jaws. I was 8. It explains a lot.

First Person Kissed: Joy Banks, back corner of the skating rink, age 11. She was very experienced with the tongue on tongue action. [/Hobbesian grin] Yum!

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 21, 2008 2:42 PM

First Concert: The Toasters and the Special Beat (the toasters were great third wave NYC ska band and The Special Beat was kinda a supergroup containing members of the Specials and the English Beat)

First Movie: Star Wars. The first one. I was 2.

First Kiss. 5th Grade. Tayna Cossio.

Porn Name: Tayna Toast Her Wares.

Posted by: Withnail at May 21, 2008 2:42 PM

(1) Concert: BRU Birthday Bash (local radio station) with Adema, Tantric, Lit and 311. Curfew dictated I leave before 311, my dad meeting all the drunken crazies outside (including some dude that offered him money to take his gf to the bathroom because he was too drunk to find it) was the kiss of death for any other concerts opportunities that year.

(2) Movie: Little Mermaid. My grandmother brought me. I lost my shit at the scene with Ursula trying to make Ariel a human. So I peaced right out of there. My grandmother couldn't get me back in, and was less than pleased about the "wasted tickets."

(3) Kiss: A fellow band kid at a birthday party in 8th grade. We found a beanbag chair and did it up, then awkwardly dated for 2 weeks. We didn't have much in common. I was grounded for most of those two weeks. My friends thought it would be funny to take pictures. Took a while to live that one down (those pictures felt like a leaked sex tape to my innocent middle school self). When asked what my first kiss was like, I described it as "slimy" and figured I must be weird or a lesbian because I didn't like it.

Posted by: artificialsweet at May 21, 2008 2:42 PM

Err...hi everyone. Long time lurker, first time poster here - just thought I'd give contributing a shot. So:

First Concert (not counting friends' bands) - Counting Crows... "Recovering the Satellites"?

First Movie in a Theater - Little Mermaid

First Person Kissed - neighbor boy named Matthew in the kitchen by the cabinets. It was awkward.

Posted by: HB at May 21, 2008 2:42 PM

Ah, yes! The porn name. Let's see...Dave Jedipilot? Or Jerkass Temple Return.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at May 21, 2008 2:43 PM

1. First concert: Wasn't until I was a senior in high school actually. Tori Amos at the Electric Factory, Choirgirl Hotel tour. It was amazing.

2. First movie in a theater: I can't say for sure, but it was either The Care Bears Movie or Follow that Bird. Ah Miss Finch. "Buuuuuuuhd!!"

3. First kiss: Mike O'Donnell, 7th grade, in the woods behind the softball field near my house. To steal a description from my best friend, he kissed like he was trying to spear a fish with his tongue.

Posted by: Julie at May 21, 2008 2:44 PM

Oh yeah, porn name: Joy Jaws Leppard. I'm lovin' that.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 21, 2008 2:45 PM

1) First Concert: 311 (in a fixed seating theater tho, made it somewhat lame, still a good concert)
2) First Movie in a Theater: Song of the South, I was 4 or 5 and my parents tell me I was singing Zip-a-Dee Do-Da for months afterwards until they were right about ready to strangle me
3)Benji....yup, like the dog

311 Benjis in the South? Singing? that is not an good porn name.

Posted by: Bethy at May 21, 2008 2:45 PM

Forgot my porn name...Tori the Care Bear Spearfisher.

Posted by: Julie at May 21, 2008 2:45 PM

1. First Concert: Tiffany and NKOTB

2. First Movie in a Theater: Cinderella. I danced in the aisles while the movie played because I wanted to be at the ball too.

3. First Person Kissed: Josh, my next door neighbor (how cliche). I was chewing a pretzel when he swooped in for it. It was probably the driest kiss ever, because of the pretzel. Many years later I had sex with him in my car. It wasn't worth it, I ended up getting a fine for trespassing and lewd behavior and he didn't help pay for it. Selfish. You can imagine which one of us got off that night too.

Posted by: Melina at May 21, 2008 2:45 PM

1) Huey Lewis and the News, 1991. Wanted to see NKOTB back in '89 or '90, but my parents wouldn't allow it...bastards.
2) Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, 1983 release
3) Guy named William, who had just prepared me a "margarita" that was approximately 7/8 tequila and 1/8 margarita mix. At the beach after high-school graduation. (Yes, I was an embarrassingly late bloomer, but my kissing career totally took off after that alcohol-fueled first time.)

Posted by: Kivrin at May 21, 2008 2:46 PM

First Concert: The Jets. I was 8; I had no taste.

First Movie in a Theatre: My mother says the first movie I ever saw in a theatre was Snow White (the Disney one) but I was only about 2 so I don't remember it at all. The first movie I actually REMEMBER going to see was E.T. at the drive-in. I was only 4, so I'm pretty sure the only reason I even remember it is because my little brother was absolutely terrified.

First Person Kissed: Discounting childish kisses, my first real kiss was Josh Wodarz at Homecoming when I was 15. It was...well, he was very enthusiastic, so I guess he gets points for effort. I did not kiss him again after that night.

Posted by: Sarina at May 21, 2008 2:47 PM

First Concert: Jay-Z/Dru Hill
First Movie: Starwars: Return of the Jedi
First Kiss: Ebony Myers

XXX Name: The Ebony Jedi, Jay Myers

Posted by: Blick Blick at May 21, 2008 2:48 PM

Porn name: Little Tantric Band Kid?

Awkward Lit Mermaid?

I'll stick with the first pet/ first street formuala: Misty Harlem. I would work at a joint with low lighting to mask the low-rent strippers. Black cracked up stage, very cheap booze poured into the bottles of better booze, costing top-shelf prices. Destination for underage kiddies looking for a thrill.

Posted by: artificialsweet at May 21, 2008 2:49 PM

1. Supertramp farewell tour (parental guidance was necessary since I was about 10 years old at the time).

2. Christ if I can remember, Dustin, but the earliest one I'm sure of was Star Wars. The first one.

3. David McCallister; we were in kindergarten. First real kiss? Vernon Finkenstein.

Porn name: too easy, says Star McCallister the Supertramp.

Posted by: Ranylt at May 21, 2008 2:49 PM

First Concert: I think it was Michael W. Smith or something equally cheesey Christian... first one I picked was Alanis Morrisett's Jagged Little Pill Tour.

First Movie: The first one I can remember was The Little Mermaid

First Kiss: Ron Haskins, on the 4th of July... there really were fireworks! ;)

Porn name: Jagged Mermaid Haskins.... well not tragically bad but could be better.

Posted by: Who'sThatGirl at May 21, 2008 2:49 PM

I forgot a porn name...but I can't even come up with one with that mismash of information.

Here's my "real" one...with middle name and street I grew up on instead:

Harleigh Roman (it's the perfect porn name)

Posted by: Melina at May 21, 2008 2:49 PM

First Concert: Queen at Cole Field House/UofMd in 1975? 1976?

First Movie: Probably something Disney, I'll say Snow White, along with a lot of shorts. We were dropped off for the Saturday matinee at noon and picked up around 3 or 4, so we saw some really weird shit.

First Kiss: His nickname was Toad (only because of his very wide grin). Unfortunately, that's all I remember besides the very sloppy French kisses.

My porn name: Queen Snow Toad! Who could resist?

Posted by: cabri at May 21, 2008 2:50 PM

First Concert: Rush (All the World's a Stage tour)
First movie in a theater: 101 Dalmatians (the original old-school animation, not the Glen Close scenery-chewing version)
First person kissed: Julie Sprecklemeyer

Porn name: Dal Sprecklerush

Posted by: oughtabworkin at May 21, 2008 2:51 PM

Ranylt has an unfair edge there, for her porn name!

Posted by: Loob at May 21, 2008 2:52 PM

First Concert: David Cassidy. Fuck you guys; I was twelve and I had a blast.

First Movie: The Sword in the Stone (a rather lackluster Disney pic). I was four. To say I was enthralled would be a major understatement. The next night, after supper, I got up and put on my coat. I cried when I was told that that was the whole story and there wasn't any more.

First Kiss: Oh, Michael. I was fourteen and he was WAY older and was the best-looking boy in the whole goddamn town, no lie. I still had braces on my teeth and didn't know how to kiss, and consequently kept my mouth open as wide as I could (and my tongue tucked out of the way). It must have been like kissing a bucket. (I learned better later on.) We went steady for the next four years, even after he joined the Navy and got stationed in Guam.

So...my porn name? Uh...Arthur Michael Cassidy? Or maybe Michael Merlin Partridge...

Posted by: Jerce at May 21, 2008 2:52 PM

1) First Concert: Dee-Lite & Doc Marten
2) First Movie in a Theater: Star Wars
3) First Person Kissed: Rachel Reading. In her bedroom while her parents weren't home.

Porn Name: Marten Star...meh. I'm gonna completely disregard this one and say that my porn name is Marten Vaj-Hammer

Posted by: Manny at May 21, 2008 2:56 PM

1st Concert- Social Distortion.. I was 14
1st Movie- FIRST BLOOD. I swear to god, my MOM took me. I was eight or so, I think.
1st Kiss- Eric.

So, my porn name would be.... Eric Distortion Blood? That's kinda BAD ASS.

Posted by: Hattie at May 21, 2008 2:58 PM

Manny=awesome xD

Posted by: Loob at May 21, 2008 2:58 PM

First concert -- KISS - Destroyer Tour w/Cheap Trick

First movie -- Cinderella (if drive-ins count; Mom & Dad were big on drive-ins)

So that makes my porn name Cheap Cinderella Kiss my Sister? wait a minute .. backspace .. backspace

Posted by: Pajibill at May 21, 2008 2:59 PM

First concert: Presidents of the United States of America
First movie in a theater: The Care Bears Movie
First Kiss: Kyle, we were in 4th grade and on the reading loft in our classroom...it was weird.

Porn name: Kyle President, Care Bear. That's messed up.

Posted by: elc at May 21, 2008 2:59 PM

1. Soul Asylum, Spin Doctors and Screaming Trees when I was 15.

2. First movie: I thought it was Annie but maybe it was E.T... According to IMDB they came out within a week and a half of each other in June of '82.

3. Not sure when my first asexual childhood kiss was but my first tongue kiss was Evan [Last name Redacted] at 16. It was awful.

Porn name? Screaming Annie the Tongue.

Posted by: Stacey at May 21, 2008 2:59 PM

First Concert: Gloria Estafan and the Miami Sound Machine
First Movie in a Theater: I believe ET was the first but at a drive-in in a sleeping bag on the roof of my parent's car so not sure if that counts. Otherwise maybe one of the Indiana Jones movies? or possibly Back to the Future?
First Kiss: Tyler Thompson - he had a full beard at 16 and was later appropriately termed Cromagnum Man. Shocking I ever tried kissing again considering how disgusting he was about the whole thing.

Porn Name: Gloria Extra Machine Tyler or Miami Cromagnum Jones. . . meh.

Posted by: soulfusion at May 21, 2008 3:00 PM

Marten Star?!

Manny, you are aware that that's a real name, right?

Posted by: Stacey at May 21, 2008 3:01 PM

First Concert: Barenaked Ladies (the Gordon tour)

First Movie: ET (and it scared the bejeesus out of my five-year-old self!)

First Kiss: Not sure if it's sad or romantic, but my husband. (Okay, a bit of both--I was a hopeless dork in school, then hooked up with my future husband less than a week into university!)

So, the porn name (and with that first concert, you know it's a good one):

Barenaked Extra-terrestrial MacMillan

Posted by: MO at May 21, 2008 3:02 PM

Porn name? Screaming Annie the Tongue.

BAAAAAH! The neighbours heard me bray over that one, Stace.

Posted by: Ranylt at May 21, 2008 3:02 PM

1) Thousand Foot Krutch. yikes.
2) The Lion King
3) Justin Stiksma. In my church basement. I was 13.

Posted by: dirtyfeet at May 21, 2008 3:03 PM

Doobie Brothers, the only one in town
Sleeping Beauty
Bob Brooker, and now he's a doctor, damn

Porn Name: Doobie Beauty Bobber

Posted by: bethann at May 21, 2008 3:04 PM

1) First Concert: Metallica: ...And Justice for All (Queensryche opened - meh)

2) First Movie: The Jungle Book

3) Becky Lee Carpenter in the second grade. She was a stone fox. I moved away at the end of that year. Years later, in the eigth grade, she was transferred to my new school. I didn't realize who she was until she was transferred back...

Becky, if you're out there, I'm sorry I gave you the herpes...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 21, 2008 3:04 PM

First concert: Smashing Pumpkins on the Mellon Collie tour - I had tickets for the day that Chamberlin and Melvoin ODed, but I wound up seeing the Matt Walker lineup in Chicago a few months later.

First movie: I saw Jungle Book in a drive-in when I was super-young. Either that or ET, as far as I remember.

First smooch: This girl Patty my freshman year of college. Yeah, I, uh, wasn't really ahead of the curve with the ladies back in the day.

Posted by: Bullfrog at May 21, 2008 3:05 PM

First Movie: I dunno. But I seem to remember that Disney re-released a bunch of their old cartoons in the early 80's and my mom took me to some of those. So it was probably Dumbo or Snow White or one of those.
First (large) Concert: The Smashing Pumpkins at Key Arena in Seattle, yay for spending my teenage years in the 90's, it was a magical time to grow up. I'd been to I have no idea how many local shows before that though.
First Kiss: Vannessa Something-or-other at about 3 a.m. after sneaking out of the house. My friends were all watching. Ackward.

Porn name: I don't really wanna think about what those things would result in. If I use the usual porn name method (name of first pet + name of the first street you lived on) I come up with Jake Royal, no really.

Posted by: jbrader at May 21, 2008 3:05 PM

First Concert: Spice Girls. Met my first transvestite. Age 12 or so. Could barely bake out their gaudy outfits much less garish makeup. Surrounded by 20,000 other screamming, crying 13-year-olds.

First Movie: The first I rememeber: Hercules, the disney movie. I remember because my dad was freaking out that we'd be late and out of seats and when we got there there was not a SINGLE other person in the theater. Literally. I have not seen a theater so empty since. Also, I was really into Greek mythology at the time and spent the whole movie bitching about the plot faults.

First Kiss: Preschool. I don't remember his name but we spent all our time together. It was hosted at a church so I'm sure I kissed him under the slide and got caught and got into a mess of trouble. I DO remember kissing this other boy in first grade because I wanted to freak him out. He was just a ponce.

Posted by: MaliceAlice at May 21, 2008 3:06 PM

So, uh, Jungle Pumpkin Patty? I guess?

Posted by: Bullfrog at May 21, 2008 3:06 PM

Forgot my porn name:

Jungle Queen Carpenter...

Lee Metallibook...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 21, 2008 3:06 PM

First Concert: The Moffatts (remember them, fellow Canadians?)
First Movie in a Theatre: hmm... Little Women and The Lion King are as far back as I can remember.
First Kiss: My grade 8 boyfriend, TJ. That was some seriously awful tongue-kissin'.

Which makes my porn name... TJ Moffatt? Sounds more like a spunky TV cop.

Posted by: Lannie at May 21, 2008 3:07 PM

First concert: Alice Cooper. The stage was a giant TV set. The people in front of us were smoking dope. It was the classic concert experience.

First movie: Can't remember, maybe because of inhaling the secondhand dope smoke at the Alice Cooper concert. The first PG-rated movie I saw without my parents was The Towering Inferno.

First kiss. Vicki. On the hill behind the school. She was beautiful.

So that makes my porn name Clint Bricknuts, right?

Posted by: magsman at May 21, 2008 3:07 PM

John Denver..........I was young and he's dead, so don't hate. My mommy came with me. Can we get do overs on anything younger than 18? Then it would be Triumph.

The Sound of Music. Thus, my love of Nazi's and dumbass movies. Maybe I can get a part in the next Indiana Jones thing..........

Jimmy Graham, while walking in the snow. He was a total asshole, but hey, when you're young, that's as romantic as it gets.

Posted by: slower lower at May 21, 2008 3:09 PM

Hmmm, first concert was Oak Ridge Boys with my mom (Godtopus help me) but on my own, and when I had better taste (won't claim my REAL first one! ok, it was Shaun Cassidy, but I was 13 and had terrible taste, ok?) was REO Speedwagon, New Year's Eve, Indy. Y'all know who you are!!!

First movie? Went to a lot of movies as a kid. The first one I really remember being freaked out by was "The 10 Commandments." Sitting in the front row for that one will fuck you up for life.

First kiss? On the cheek, kindergarten, Stan. Real kiss was in the back of the fan bus, coming back from a basketball game at the end of my freshman year of high school. I was very naive. His nickname was "Weed" and he stuck his tongue down my throat and traumatized me for months.

Porn name? Uh, Weedy Speedwagon? REO Stanley? Commander Reo? they all suck. I really need a good porn name. Anybody have any ideas?

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 21, 2008 3:10 PM

First Movie: I think it was a Karate movie, my dad used to take us to see them all the time at the drive in ( love you dad).
First Kiss: Does it count if she was unconscious?
First Concert: Frankie Beverly and Maze

Porn Name: Phil Lerupp

Posted by: Pookie at May 21, 2008 3:10 PM

1) First Concert: Queensryche, Promised Land tour
2) Fist Movie (in theatre): Star Wars
3) First Kiss: Amy, which was strange because I was playing doctor with a girl named Trina long before then...

Porn Name: Amy Starqueen (starring in Trina's Promised Land)

Posted by: longcoat000 at May 21, 2008 3:10 PM

FIRST CONCERT: TLC

FIRST MOVIE: Little Mermaid.

FIRST KISS: Roberto Hunte. Yeah, with an "E". Roll your "R"'s when you say it, too. It was in my room, at my sixth grade birthday party, in front of everyone. I totally mouth-raped him. Mmmm.

PORN NAME: T.L.C- The Little Cunte

*shudders

Posted by: jM at May 21, 2008 3:11 PM

1) First Concert:Jars of Clay in the 6th grade with my youth group. Wow that makes me sound like a big dork. I promise I have good taste now.
2) First Movie in a Theater: Cinderella, I think.
3) First Person Kissed: So I guess it was this kid Ian in the seventh grade at a party. I think we were playing spin the bottle. It was not awesome.

I really can't come up with a porn name from that. Ian Cinderella Jars doesn't sound right...Cinderella Clay Ian? I am no good at this.

Posted by: Erin at May 21, 2008 3:13 PM

First Concert: Groovie Ghoulies, at the Emerson in Indy. Not a big band, but hella cool.
First Movie: I'm not sure but I think it was the Care Bears Movie. That or My Little Ponies (ah the 80s....)
First Kiss: Dan Schuetz. Neighborhood bad boy. I was the ugly duckling from down the street (seriously, not an attractive child). Boy did a lot of dating, so he pretty much got it perfect, small open mouth kiss, no tongue the first time, just sweet and romantic. awwwwwwwww.

Posted by: s. pisaster at May 21, 2008 3:13 PM

1. first concert: duran duran
2. first movie: the apple dumpling gang (at the drive-in)
3. first kiss: i think his name was marcus

porn name: apple duran? marcus dumpling?

Posted by: kelley at May 21, 2008 3:16 PM

First concert: Iron Maiden, on the Brave New World tour, at the NEC in Birmingham - a reward from my parents for getting good GCSE grades.

First Movie: Mars Attacks. Being young and naive, I sat right at the front, and had a crick in my neck for days afterwards.

First Kiss: Grace Fletcher-Hall - I was 16, she was 15 and had train-track braces, which caught my upper lip and stung like a bitch. That relationshop didn't last long.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at May 21, 2008 3:17 PM

First Concert: NSync. Yeah, I know, but honestly, I was never into concerts growing up. I screamed so hard at the concert I lost my voice the next day. It was worth it.
I wanted to go see Janet Jackson's Velvet Rope, but I couldn't get tickets.

First Movie: Father of the Bride. Although I was 6, I felt bad for the father and started crying in the theater.

First Kiss: Also my first boyfriend, a sweetheart named Chris. He's still one of the best guys I've ever met.

Posted by: Brie at May 21, 2008 3:18 PM

First Concert: David Bowie at the Rosemont in Chicago. It is perhaps one of the most glorious moments of my life to date
First Movie: I'm thinking it was Beauty and the Beast.
First Kiss: My preschool boyfriend, Chad. Though I was actually one of two girlfriends. He was a stud.

Bowie Beauty Beast? It's alliterative, at least.

Posted by: serena at May 21, 2008 3:18 PM

Concert: Crash Test Dummies

Movie: Beauty and the Beast

Kiss: Travis Smith

Porn name (or killer band name): Crash Test Beautysmith

Posted by: AM at May 21, 2008 3:19 PM

First Concert: Rolling Stones - Voodoo Lounge Tour, with my dad, I was 14 or 15, at the Vet in Philly, which was just as bad for concerts as for sports.

First Movie: Allegedly, my parents took me to Empire Strikes Back at a drive-in, but since I would have been 1 or 2, that seems dubious and is probably my mom making shit up. I do remember seeing Karate Kid and especially Transformers: The Movie (the defining moment of my life up to that point and I think I cried when Optimus died).

First Kiss: Kate, 7th grade dance, I think I may have had a pencil in my pocket afterward.

Porn Name: Kid Stones: The Pencil Movie

Posted by: MC Peepants at May 21, 2008 3:19 PM

"PORN NAME: T.L.C- The Little Cunte
*shudders
Posted by: jM at May 21, 2008 3:11 PM"

AAHAHAH! Is it less shudderful if we pronounce it Cuntay?

...Not really. (I was just trying that, out loud.)

Posted by: Loob at May 21, 2008 3:19 PM

First Concert: Rolling Stones - Voodoo Lounge Tour, with my dad, I was 14 or 15, at the Vet in Philly, which was just as bad for concerts as for sports.

Aww. A moment of silence for The Vet. :bows head:

Posted by: Julie at May 21, 2008 3:20 PM

Toad the Wet Sprocket & Rusted Root
ET
Shauna Nixon

"Wet" Shauna Root, the Extraterrestrial Rusted Toad

Posted by: Jon at May 21, 2008 3:21 PM

First Concert: Raffi

First Movie: One of the Indiana Jones, can't remember which one, I just remember terrorizing family pets for a week with my badass whip, AKA my neon green Triceratops belt... god I miss the 80's

Can't remember the name of my first kiss

Porn Star name: Raffi Jones

Posted by: Alex at May 21, 2008 3:22 PM

Oh, this is fun!!

First Concert: Lynard Skynard/Bad Company (come on, I grew up in Louisiana + it wasn't the original LS, it was after the plane crash)

First Movie: Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

First Kiss: DJ Smith at a middle school dance to the song "Stairway to Heaven". No lie. DJ went to a public middle school and I went to a very small private school, so everyone I knew saw this. Needless to say, the boys were all a lot more interested in me the following Monday.

Porn Name: DJ Skynard, The Return of the Bad Company

Posted by: legib at May 21, 2008 3:24 PM

1. Ben Folds at the Borgata. He played for about 25 minutes. I was pissed.
2. 101 Dalmatians, the new one.
3. Jesse [redacted]. This was my first real kiss; I had just turned 14 and the guy who lived down the street, who I'd had a huge crush on for two years (God knows why...blergh), FINALLY talked to me...so I promptly made out with him on the street corner between our houses. 'Twas an excellent time, except for his retrospective grossness.

Porn name: Jesse Borgata, Dalmatian Folder.

Posted by: Geetch at May 21, 2008 3:24 PM

1)First concert - Our Lady Peace, in grade nine.
2)First movie in a theatre - I know it was a Benji movie, so I had to check online which one would have come out when I was a little kid. Apparently it was "Benji the Hunted".
3)First kiss - Michael Wickenden. Both of us were five and it was behind the couch in his basement. My sister and his brother discovered us there and started to make fun of us, so we decided it would be a good idea to pretend to be robots. I don't know why.
So! Porn name! Maybe... "Lady Wickenden the Hunted"? I kinda like that. Sounds like it would be a freaky sorta movie. *Cue sexy music*

Posted by: b at May 21, 2008 3:26 PM

1) First concert: Stratovarius in 2000. It was awesome.
2) First movie in a theatre: Ghostbusters 2. I guess I liked it then.
3) First person kissed: Tamara, when I was 13. She was so cute, I can believe she let me do that.

Name: Tamara Ovariusbuster 2!

Posted by: JC at May 21, 2008 3:28 PM

1. Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefers with my parents and their friends for my 10th birthday

2. Bambi

3. Shawn Wise in an alcove at the church

Porn name: Shawn Bambi Buffett

Posted by: jayco at May 21, 2008 3:30 PM

concert: spice girls when there were only 4 of them b/c the redhead had already left...I was 13

Movie in the theater: I think it was Beauty and the Beast when I was 8 or 9

kiss: Michael he made me square dance with him during gym class in first grade and then cornered me afterward and we kissed..oh how romantic

Posted by: jmurae at May 21, 2008 3:30 PM

Socalled, I saw the Pyromania tour!

First concernt: Van Halen (cost: $7.50)
First movie: (in a theatre with a roof) Johnathan Livingston Seagull (We went to the drive-in every summer. Dumbo is the first movie I remember seeing at the drive-in. It scarred me for life. Walt Disney was a sadistic bastard. But I digress.)
First kiss: Sadly, I don't remember now.

Porn name: Panama Seagull (YOU come up with something better!)
I am so old.

Posted by: Brigette at May 21, 2008 3:31 PM

First Concert: I got drug to a lot of things i don't remember as a little kid, including symhpony performances and one of my mom's favorites, The Nylons. The first concert i went to by choice, of my own accord, was when I was 16 - David Bowie and Nine Inch Nails: The Outside Tour. Still one of the best concerts I've ever seen.

First Movie: I think according to my mother, it must be the 80's re-release of Fantasia. I don't remember it at all. The first movie I remember seeing was Return of the Jedi. I was four. I don't remember much about it, other than that my older step-brother took me, we got there late, and it was litterally standing room only. We stood at the back of the aisle for the entire movie.

First Kiss: I was a late bloomer, not having my first kiss until I was 15. Her name was Allison Caldwell, and it was backstage during a rehearsal for A Christmas Carol, which we were both acting in. She was clearly more experienced than I was, and as I recall she was a very good kisser. But then, she was my first kiss, so what did I know then? And nothing like having your first kiss with a half dozen other people staring at you and teasing you afterwards... not that they knew it was my first, but because it damn near turned into a full make-out session.

Porn Name: Nine Inch Bowie: The Late-Blooming Jedi?

Posted by: Bistro at May 21, 2008 3:31 PM

oh I forgot the name...Michael's Spicy Beast?

Posted by: jmurae at May 21, 2008 3:31 PM

Concert: T-Rex
Movie: Mary Poppins
Kiss : My cousin Peter

Porn name: T-rex Peter Popper

Posted by: Rene at May 21, 2008 3:31 PM

Is it less shudderful if we pronounce it Cuntay?

HAHA. That's like how my grandmother adds an accent at the end of Target to make it sound classy.

Posted by: jM at May 21, 2008 3:34 PM

I saw the title and thought this was going to be the diversion in which we all tell the tale of "virginity virginity" lost.

1) If we're talking popular music, then it was Three Dog Night at a local fair. (My first big stadium/amphitheatre concert was No Doubt.) Otherwise, I was taken to the symphony innumerable times as a kid and couldn't tell you which came first.

2) My one and only love and also my earliest memory: Star Wars, 1977. Fell asleep during the cantina scene and woke up in time for the Death Star battle. I was only two.

3) Hmmmm...I did lots of kissing on the playground when I was kindergarten and first grade, but I don't think that counts. I'm also not sure if the kissing while playing doctor in the back of my friend's van when she was eleven and I was ten really counts. I suppose the first real kiss was with my high school girlfriend when I was sixteen. It was just after prom. I'm not dropping any names, so I guess I can't participate in the porn name portion. Aw, what the hell. I just realized the eleven-year-old girl's last name demands that I do it.

Porn Name: Dog Star Hardon

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 21, 2008 3:34 PM

First concert: Ambrosia
First movie in a theater: Fantasia
First Kiss: 6th grade playing truth or dare with my older sister. She dared me to kiss Tony Mendoza. Crushed on him all through high school!

Porn nam: Fantasia Ambrosia Mendoza!

Posted by: MissNev at May 21, 2008 3:34 PM

Porn star names:
Chow Chow Humphrey

Nurse Hornball

Posted by: Brie at May 21, 2008 3:34 PM

First Concert: The Wallflowers. I don't even know what to say about that one...

First Movie: Last of the Mohicans. I was 7, it was intense.

First Kiss: A boy named Shawn who I was in pre-school with. He tapped me on the shoulder and kissed me on my cheek right before movie time started. My first real kiss though wasn't until high school with a boy named Chris who took me to go see Gladiator and then we made out until my dad came to pick me up from the theater. Hmm, I seem to put out when movies are involved...

Posted by: Jordan at May 21, 2008 3:35 PM

Man, I miss kissing. Does anyone want to make out?

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 21, 2008 3:36 PM

First Concert: Ronnie James Dio/Twisted Sister 1983
First Movie: The Jungle Book
First Kiss: Tracy Paricek

Porn Name: Tracy James the Jungle Sister

Posted by: richmac at May 21, 2008 3:38 PM

Concert: Lenny Kravitz and the Black Crowes at the Shoreline
Movie: Sleeping Beauty
Kiss: ...He was a friend of mind called Keebler. Like the elves in the trees that make cookies. SO. MUCH. TONGUE.

Porn name: Sleepy Keebler, the Black Beauty. All right!

Posted by: asha lee at May 21, 2008 3:39 PM

"...so we decided it would be a good idea to pretend to be robots."

b, I find myself doing that in many situations, complete with "boops" and "beeps". It's particularly helpful if you want to be left alone or want out of a business meeting...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 21, 2008 3:39 PM

First Concert: John Denver

First Movie: Trouble with Angels

First Kiss: James, the boy sorta next door who years later played on tour with the aforementioned John Denver (which explains why I had free tickets to the show)

Porn Name: Angel James, star of Trouble in Denver

Posted by: funtime42 at May 21, 2008 3:39 PM

Porn Name: Nine Inch Bowie: The Late-Blooming Jedi?

Posted by: Bistro at May 21, 2008 3:31 PM

Once you make this movie, you will have riches farther than the eye can see.

Posted by: jM at May 21, 2008 3:42 PM

holy cow dustin bon jovi/skid row my first concert too! i was kind of disappointed. i really though sebastien bach sould be close enough that he could see me in all of my 11 year old hard rock coolness and maybe tell me i was beautiful or at least give me the thumbs up.
anyway, my first movie in the theater? i don't know. i remember bambi.
first boy i kissed? jon love. he had a mohawk in the second grade. and his last name was love.

Posted by: kb at May 21, 2008 3:42 PM

First concert: Elton John 'Yellow Brick Road' Tour

First Theater Movie: 'Yellow Submarine' (bored the fuck out of me; I was 8 and couldn't wait for it to end)

First Kiss: My dog Sluggo, when I was 5... it wasn't pre-planned, just kinda happened (and yes, tongue was involved)

Let's not bother trying to make a porn name from that, 'kay?

Posted by: TMax at May 21, 2008 3:42 PM

First concert: New Kids on the Block. I was in 4th grade.

First movie: No idea. I remember the first movie i saw with my friends sans parents was Beauty and the Beast.

Kiss: Um, some dude Paul kissed me on the nap rug in kindgergarten. Don't remember that one, just heard stories from my mom who got a call from the teacher about it. Then I hit a dry spell that lasted until 6th grade, when I was dared by a bunch of my friends to kiss my "boyfriend" Andy at a playground. It was a peck and I broke up with him the next day because HOLY SHIT, kissing is scary when you're 11. No french kissing until my sophomore year of high school.

I don't really think my porn name would be cool.

Posted by: tt_marie at May 21, 2008 3:45 PM

Man, I miss kissing. Does anyone want to make out?

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 21, 2008 3:36 PM

*hand goes up shyly* over here? haven't had much lovin' lately.....

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 21, 2008 3:46 PM

First Theater Movie: Disney's Cinderella. Saw it in kindergarten for my birthday.

First Concert: New Kids On The Block, 1988 baby! I was eight years old and my father (bless him) waited in line three days for tickets.

First kiss: Freshman year of high school, Jeremiah Pike. Big geek who wore Hawaiian shirts and later became a hot lawyer. Got my first french kiss and remember thinking it felt weird and rough and my mouth was open too much.

I'll go with Kid Pike. It sounds like a graffiti tag.

Posted by: scorzi at May 21, 2008 3:49 PM

First concert: Van Halen w/Alice in Chains

First movie: Jaws, I was 2 and it was at the drive in. First movie in a theater was Star Wars.

First kiss: Beth Ann...something. We were 7 and "playing doctor". At one point I had to hide in her closet, sans clothes, because her mother unexpectedly came in the room. That was a terrifying 30 seconds that felt like 30 years.

Posted by: Rob at May 21, 2008 3:50 PM

Kool and the Gang

Star Wars

Becca

Becca CoolStar... I like that.

Posted by: TK at May 21, 2008 3:53 PM

hey s. pisaster--I live down the street from the Emerson. Sadly I've only seen movies there.

First concert: Billy Joel [Storm Front]
First Movie: hell if I know...ET? My uncle took me for my birthday...it was a speacial day...which leads me to my first kiss...ok not really
First kiss: even harder to remember...some boy in kindergarten

Posted by: anikitty at May 21, 2008 3:54 PM

First concert: INXS/Ziggy Marley
First movie in a theatre: Snow White
First kiss: A guy a year behind me named Tommy. I was a sophomore, he was a freshman. He definitely didn't know it was my first kiss. He was a dirtbag.

Posted by: samantha t at May 21, 2008 3:54 PM

First concert: Billy Joel at the Spectrum with my mom. Sophomore year in high school. First on my own was Green Day at the Civic Center in junior year.

First movie in a theater: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

First kiss: A boy named Jay in seventh grade behiind a tree at the Jeanes Fair (carnival).

Posted by: Nicole at May 21, 2008 3:54 PM

"...so we decided it would be a good idea to pretend to be robots."

My 11th-grade English teacher once asked my class if we ever put tinfoil on our faces and pretended to be robots. He tried to act like it was something he did when he was little, but he was a total stoner, so I'd bet he still indulged.

Posted by: Geetch (a.k.a. Jesse Borgata) at May 21, 2008 4:00 PM

concert: Sonic Youth/ Dinosaur Jr.
movie: Back to the Future (or at least it's the first one I remember seeing in the theater)
kiss: oh, yuck, this slobbery guy in grade above me at my older sister's best friend's party. I was in sixth grade. It was spin the bottle.

Slobbery Dinosaur Future.

Posted by: ewg at May 21, 2008 4:00 PM

Haha, spin the bottle was pretty fun (and alternately gross). I mean, come on, when since then have you had everyone's permission to be such a total whore???

Good times.

Posted by: tt_marie at May 21, 2008 4:03 PM

1) First Concert: not sure but probably something gospel with my parents like The Gaithers--I really hated the concerts they used to drag me to

2) First Movie in a Theater: I'm not sure, but I think in spite of the Gaither-leaning parents it might have been a Rocky flick

3) First Person Kissed: egad, some icky boy from my high school sophomore history class in the Univ. of OK library--it was not voluntary and I pushed him away when he tried to sloppily eat my face. First consensual kiss was with Roger Moore (no, not THE Roger Moore)

Posted by: Lainie at May 21, 2008 4:05 PM

anikitty - the emerson was hella cool for punk shows . Saw Sloppy Seconds there too, on a New Years, with my brother 'cause no one else wanted to go.

Posted by: s. pisaster at May 21, 2008 4:06 PM

First Concert: Also got dragged to a lot of Christian concerts (Take 6, etc.)-first one I chose? INXS, X tour, 1990

First Movie: Definitely one of the Star Wars-I think it was Return of the Jedi.

First Kiss: Steve Kauffman (who turned out to be a stone fox), in the closet at a 5th grade b-day party. Real one, first high school boyfriend, Josh, sophomore year.

Porn name: XS Jedi Josh? Steve Takeman? That's all I got.

Posted by: jillster85 at May 21, 2008 4:08 PM

Matthew Good

Petit pied le dinosaure (The Land Before Time). it came out in 1988, i was 4. we arrived late and there were no seats left so my sister and i sat on the floor in front of the giant screen.

Jean-Sébastien something (my sister's ex boyfriend). in my sister's bedroom. listening to nirvana. i was 13. he was 16.

JS Good, aka Little Foot

Posted by: roulotte verte at May 21, 2008 4:14 PM

1a) First Concert: Neil Diamond (My mom was a big fan, so it was a family trip to the concert).
1b) First Concert I Chose Myself: Triumph - The Sport of Kings

2) First Movie in a Theater: Jonathan Livingston Seagull (again with my mom. I don't really remember the movie itself so much as just the adventure of going to the movies for the first time)

3) First Person Kissed: It's been so long ago, I honestly don't remember her name. She was a friend of a friend's girlfriend. The four of us went out and saw a movie (Frankie and Johnny with Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer, which I only know because I just looked it up on IMDB). Not only was it my first kiss, it was my first time to get to 2nd base. We dated for awhile after that, during the Christmas holidays, but it kind of fell apart after that because I went to a private boarding school so we couldn't really see each other. I feel really bad that I can't remember her name.

Porn name: Jonathan Diamond Triumph the Second Baseman

Posted by: CptCrckpot at May 21, 2008 4:15 PM

1 = Pink Floyd Animals Tour @ Milwaukee County Stadium

2 = Young Frankenstein (first one I remember, anyways)

3 = Irene Krueger, in her backyard after the last day of school, 4th grade

PINK FRANKENSTEIN!!!!!

Posted by: Mohaski at May 21, 2008 4:15 PM

socalledonlycousins, we have a lot in common.

First Concert: Uriah Heap/Def Leppard, 1983. Also the first time I smoked pot.

First Movie: JAWS. I was only 6 but it's rated PG so the parents took me.

First Kiss: Dyan Alloway. She moved away in the 7th grade and I heard she's dead now.

Posted by: Matt at May 21, 2008 4:17 PM

1) First Concert: New Order/Echo and the Bunnyment, the Greek Theater at UC Berkeley
2) First Movie in a Theater: Dumbo (some release that they used to do back before home video)
3) First Person Kissed: Todd Bevan, behind the backstage curtains on the stage at church.

I've always like the porn name formula of your first pet + your elementary school, as it gives me the name Big Mitts Henderson, who sounds like somebody who goes about in a trenchcoat and fedora.

Posted by: minorblue at May 21, 2008 4:22 PM

Concert: The Police, circa Outlandos d'Amour

Movie: Not sure, but I think Star Wars at a drive-in.

Kiss: Kevin K. in kindergarten. I only remember thinking it was a big deal because I came home and told everyone a boy kissed me.

K. Star Police? Police Star Kevin?

Posted by: Cindy at May 21, 2008 4:28 PM

First Concert: Operation Ivy at the Vets Hall.

First Movie: Indy Jones: Last Crusade. First movie and it really stuck with me. I didnt know any English back than.

First Kiss: Gina Berreta, the fountain at the business park by our houses. God I was lame back than.

Porn Name: Operation Berreta, The Last Crusade.

Posted by: strtwise at May 21, 2008 4:32 PM

Concert: Kriss Kross
First Movie I remember: Ghost
First Kiss: My male cousin by marriage I didn't know any better I was like eight.

That makes my porn name:

Kasper the Kriss Kross Kousin Kisser?

Posted by: Sammaji at May 21, 2008 4:40 PM

First Concert: Air Supply
First Movie in a Theater: Star Wars
First Person Kissed: Richard (he's dead now - perhaps I'm a bad omen)

Posted by: courtney at May 21, 2008 4:41 PM

I saw Sloppy Seconds at the Slovenian National Home on west 16th street.

Posted by: anikitty at May 21, 2008 4:44 PM

Cherry popped for posting on Pajiba...right now! Pretty exciting.

First Concert: Weird Al Yankovic, at the state fair with my family when I was 13. That summer my little brother wanted to see a Megadeath concert with this juvenile delinquent friend of his. Since there was no way in hell my mom wouldn't allow that, she bought the Weird Al tickets. In her mind, it's a fair trade.

First movie: Fantasia, the 80's re-release. I was a toddler and slept through the whole movie. Apparently I haven't changed much in 20-odd years.

First kiss: Scott Haldeman, second grade, on the swing set in my backyard. I don't remember it, but sitting on the top of the monkey bars gave our parents a great view.

As for the porn name...Weird Fantasia Scott? Sounds psychedelic and a bit kinky - exactly how I like it...

Posted by: MN_Jen at May 21, 2008 4:48 PM

First concert: Harry Chapin
First movie in a theater:Either "Snow White" or "Cinderella" one of the re-re-releases in the 60's
First person kissed:Dennis Day (yes, that was his real name. No apparant relation to the Irish tenor of the same name.)

Posted by: rlr260 at May 21, 2008 4:50 PM

First Concert - The Commodores
First Movie - American Grafitti
First Person Kissed - Heidi Brown (She was a 'Brickhouse' - Shakacow shakacow shakacownow)

Posted by: bucslim at May 21, 2008 4:51 PM

Cherry popped for posting on Pajiba...right now! Pretty exciting.

Whoo hoo! I hope it wasn't too painful :p

Posted by: Julie at May 21, 2008 4:53 PM

My first pet/first street porn name would be Bob Highway 11. Doesn't sound very sexy.

Posted by: rlr260 at May 21, 2008 4:58 PM

Concert: Duran Duran (1983 or 84)

Movie: Can't recall, but probably something Disney - you actually HAD to go to the theater to see a Disney movie back then . . .

Kiss: Jim Barber - I was 13, he was 18. We made out at a party and people started calling me jailbait - at the time I was so naive I didn't have a clue what that meant!

Porn Name: Disney Duran Duran Barber???

Posted by: SCG at May 21, 2008 5:00 PM

First Concert - Coldplay
First Movie - Aladdin (the Disney one that I still love)
First Person Kissed - Daniel Harrison, in his garage behind his mother's car - sweet :)

Posted by: Katherine at May 21, 2008 5:01 PM

First concert: Poison/Tesla Miami Arena, March 15, 1989

(parents totally dropped the ball on INXS Miami Sportatorium March 1, 1988 and RUN DMC/Beastie Boys Miami Baseball Stadium Spring 1987. Thus it was Poison, but I was a very big fan)

First Movie: It's foggy...foggy! I have a visual memory of Star Wars in a drive-in. Not sure if it's true, but I see Vader being told the escape pods have been jettisoned through a windshield. Maybe 77, maybe the 78 re-release. I distinctly remember Superman II, Airplane! and The Empire Strikes Back all in 1980 when I was still 4, but I'm betting ANH got in first.

First Kiss: Vanessa, September/October 1989. Yep, 9th grade. She's older than me. I was a late, late bloomer on that front but I made up for lost time. We were together about a year and a half and I must've used up my allowance in that time as it was definitely my peak.

And yes, Darth Corleone, I do wanna make out. Maybe with someone else buuuut....I'm sharing the sentiment.

Posted by: Jay at May 21, 2008 5:01 PM

Whoops:

Poison New Hope Vanessa.

(jeez, I'm sorry if you happen to be reading this! I was the one who was harder to deal with)

Posted by: Jay at May 21, 2008 5:03 PM

First Concert (aside from classical concerts with my parents): Styx -- Paradise Theater Tour
First Movie: Bambi (scared the crap out of me.
First Person I Kissed: Guy Herbert (God what a name and yeah he totally lived up to it; he was a comic book collecting geek)

Posted by: telesilla at May 21, 2008 5:04 PM

1) First Concert: Simply Red (I was a geek)
2) First Movie in a Theater: Not sure with parents, but without (just me and my brother) -- Time Bandits
3) First Person Kissed: Real, full on, French kissing/making out -- Marc in the local bowling alley, one fine summer afternoon in 1987

Posted by: Lauri at May 21, 2008 5:08 PM

Porn name: Simply Red Marc, the Time Bandit

Posted by: Lauri at May 21, 2008 5:09 PM

First concert: Rick Springfield - Success Hasn't Spoiled Me Yet Tour '84 (I was mortified that my parents covered their ears during the entire show. But at least they weren't wildly gyrating to the music like the Dad in front of me - his kid couldn't sink low enough in her seat.)

First Flick: It had to be some live-action Disney movie with Kurt Russell or Jodie Foster, so I'll go with the original "Freaky Friday."

First Kiss: Michael Claire, 8th grade, during a less-than-controversial game of "Truth or Dare" at my pool party.

Porn Name: Claire Dare Freak-Rick (?)

Posted by: SugarKane at May 21, 2008 5:11 PM

First Concert: Dan Fogelberg at the Waikiki Shell

First Movie: Star Wars, at the drive inns, in the back of my dad's El Camino.

First kiss: my cousin Michael in the 4th grade.

Porn Name: Fogelberg Michael Wars? Dan M. Star? Not really a sexy hot girl name, eh?

Posted by: maylai at May 21, 2008 5:18 PM

First Concert: New Kids on the Block. I was six, and Donnie was my favorite. (Is that a bad sign?)

First Movie in the Theater: The first one I really remember was "The Little Mermaid".

Fist Kiss: Shane, a 24-year-old pilot in the Navy when I was on vacation with my family the summer after high school. We were on the porch over looking the ocean at the Flora-Bama (the grande dame of Southern dive bars). There were a few very chaste truth-or-dare/ spin-the-bottle type kisses before that, but I don't count them.

Posted by: Ami at May 21, 2008 5:27 PM

First concert: John Denver w/the Starland Vocal Band (of Afternoon Delight fame, yes, I AM that old, wanna make something of it?) They all sang on a rotating stage, and it blew me away. No shit.

First Movie: Thomasina...some Puss in Bootsish thing or other

First Kiss: Apparently it was an old friend from first grade, but he always seems to remember the incident more clearly than I. First real kiss was at church camp on the shores of beautiful Lake Erie. From a guy named Kerry Powell, who was quite skilled at the whole "tongue thing" and whom my friends thought was very fast.

Posted by: angelbabe at May 21, 2008 5:31 PM

1. First Concert: Howard Jones - the Dream into Action tour
2. First Movie in a Theater: Bambi. Family lore says I lost it when his mamma died.
3. First Person Kissed: Duane? 1st grade. He was blond. Real first kiss - Jeff, 10th grade. He was also blond, and older than me. Woot for me snagging a college guy!

XXX - Bambi Jones. Of course I'm blonde. With pink sparkly nailpolish to match my pink sparkly platforms. Cover of the DVD has me in a B&W skull 'n' crossbones bikini top and hotpants.

Posted by: lunabelle at May 21, 2008 5:34 PM

First Concert: Franz Ferdinand, yeah I'm young!

First Movie: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, boy did that terrify me!

First Kiss: Sixth Grade, I was in a "relationship" and we kissed at the end of a dance. But as we know how well those turn out, now it's just in the back of my head.

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminst at May 21, 2008 5:35 PM

Jay, I saw the Poison/Tesla show too... I remember there was a thirty-ish guy with a wild blonde afro headbanging in front of me and I mistakenly dropped the cherry of my smoke on his head...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at May 21, 2008 5:36 PM

First Concert: Harry Connick Jr. Red Light/Blue Light

First Movie: Superman at the Dive-In (I was wearing footie pajamas... miss those)

First Kiss: Mike Holloman

Too bad I'm not a guy, my porn name woud be
Harry Superman Mike

Posted by: redkitten at May 21, 2008 5:42 PM

First Concert: Bush
First Flick: No idea, probably Home Alone.
First (Real) Kiss: Pearl
Porn Name: Pearl Bush? Not good for a guy. Though the actual porn name (1st Pet+ Home Street) would be Buzz Renault.

Posted by: Stew at May 21, 2008 5:52 PM

First Concert: Indigo Girls when I was 7 as a reward for a good report card. Also because my mom wanted to go see them.

First Movie in a Theater: The Little Mermaid, the giant Ursala still scares me a bit

First Kiss: Russ Saylor, who was a really hot bass player two years older than me and caused all my friends to be incredibly jealous.

Indigo Mermaid Saylor, sounds like a damn good porn name to me!

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 21, 2008 6:03 PM

First Concert: Elliott Smith at the Great American Music Hall when I was 20 or so (my mom was supposed to get me tickets to Smashing Pumpkins for my 15th birthday surprise, but forgot and I didn't get to go. She also planned on sending me to europe as a surprise for my highschool graduation, but forgot to get the paperwork in time for my passport...so i didn't get to go)

First Movie: Supposedly Empire, but I was way too little to remember it. The first one I remember is when my uncle took me to the animated Transformers for my fifth birthday present.

First Kiss: Alyssa Stevens. We were playing footsie in the pool, she kicked at me and missed, and like a giant nerd, I said "missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me." So she did.

Porn Name: Alyssa "The Transformer" Elliott. I like the street/first pet combo: Edmund Hambone. So I stick with that one.

Posted by: munkymack at May 21, 2008 6:07 PM

Iron Maiden

Star Wars

Erin Isaiah

"Isaiah Star Maiden" or if I was a girl "Erin Star Maiden"

Posted by: slouchmonkey at May 21, 2008 6:24 PM

minorblue:

I designate you offically the winner of the coolest First Concert entry. EVER.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 21, 2008 6:25 PM

First Concert: Like Dustin, it was Bon Jovi, Skid Row & I believe Bad Company. It wasn't the Slippery When Wet tour, though, because I don't think Skid Row was around then. It was the New Jersey tour.

First Movie in a Theater: I want to say An American Tail, but it might have been an early 80s Disney animated film. I can't remember.

First Kiss: I think his name was Scott. It was on a dare.

Posted by: Kolby at May 21, 2008 6:36 PM

First Concert: Although I remember going to a couple hippie jam fests with the parents, my first real one was No Doubt/Garbage

First Theatre Movie: My parents had a thing against taking kids to see movies, since they prob won't remember it, so they always just bought it for me on VHS until I was like 6...I remember seeing an IMAX about the fires in Kuwait (early 90s) that scared the shit out of me

First Kiss: I had a long-term relationship in kinder/first grade with a guy named Jordan. I'm sure we peck kissed.

Jordan Doubts Kuwait?
Garbage Fire Jordan?
ehh....

Posted by: electricdaisy at May 21, 2008 6:40 PM

1st Concert: freshman year of college I saw 10,000 Maniacs. I wasn't allowed to go to concerts in high school.

1st Theater Movie: Annie. 2nd was Flashdance though, my poor father. I did see Star Wars at the drive through.

1st Kiss, of the French Type: high school freshman boyfriend. I had just permed my hair that week for the first time, so I looked like a poodle & probably smelled like sulfur. When he kissed me, anyway, I thought it was true love!

So, my new XXX name I guess could be Annie Maniac? If I also stick with the first pet/ first street formuala, it would be Cinnamon Maple. Cinnamon was a super cute little brown bunny. As Cinnamon Maple, I obviously would have to cook delicious treats, like provcatively shaped cookies, wearing only an apron for clothes. I've always liked my XXX name.

Posted by: staramour at May 21, 2008 7:00 PM

Darn! I meant I saw Star Wars at the drive IN. Apparently, I have a tasty dinner at McDonald's on my mind :)

Posted by: staramour at May 21, 2008 7:01 PM

electricdaisy,
was it me?

concert: Gordon Lightfoot (thanks dad)
movie: Jungle Book
kiss: I'm going to go with the girl I wish I had my first kiss, Alicia

porn: Alicia JungleFoot

Posted by: Jordan at May 21, 2008 7:01 PM

First Concert: Bruce Springsteen at Slane Castle, Ireland.

First Theatre Movie: My dad brought me to see 2001. It made a huge impression on me.

First Kiss: A kid called Andre, he grabbed me and kissed me and ran away!

Posted by: StephanieS at May 21, 2008 7:03 PM

1st pet/1st street porn name: Max Mickle. Grrrr.

Posted by: jM at May 21, 2008 7:05 PM

First Concert: Tiffany/New Kids on the Block

First Movie: Star Wars (A New Hope)

First Kiss: A guy whose first or last name was "Cliff". [I know - I just don't want him googling himself]. I was 13 and he was 17. It didn't seem as pervy at the time. And, in his defense, I looked older.

...Tiffany Starcliff ?

Posted by: jadeblue at May 21, 2008 7:05 PM

First Concert: MxPx (not the first band I ever saw, but the first concert I ever remember choosing to go to)

First Movie: Return of the Jedi (I was a wee lad - parents said I slept through most of it)

First Kiss: Sarah (no idea what her last name was - I was in kindergarten and we snuck in a closet and smooched)

No good porn name I can come up with with this lame-o data.

Posted by: Mattfactor at May 21, 2008 7:08 PM

Gar, late to the party. Damn bone marrow biopsy.

1. Genesis in '85 or '86 with the 'rents. (I did attend a Frank Zappa concert in utero, if that counts.)

2. Either a Winnie the Pooh movie or Alien. I can't remember which came first.

3. Kindergarten. First boyfriend-Jeremy Cohen. We were standing by the side of his house. I also remember he had one of those see-through human figures that you could take apart and get to all the organs. Despite having seen Alien at four-years-old without flinching, this toy disturbed me to no end.

Porn name? What do you think "AlabamaPink" is?

Posted by: Alabamapink at May 21, 2008 7:16 PM

First concert: Joan Baez. No, I'm not THAT old, I was a kid. We were visiting relatives who took us to Tanglewood.

First movie: Mary Poppins. At least that's what I've been told--I don't really remember it, except that it was in one of those long-gone, plush movie palaces. I remember the fancy red velvet chairs.

First Kiss: A boy in my first grade class named Patrick. I was the tallest girl in the class; he was the tallest boy. When we lined up during recess we would hold hands and look dreamily into each other's eyes. He eventually left me for a shorter girl. The cad.

Posted by: DB at May 21, 2008 7:23 PM

1. Stone Temple Pilots, back when "Big Empty" was the single. Meat Puppets opened.

2. Masters of the Universe, the live-action He-Man movie. My mom stood with me in line for hours to see that. Poor woman.

3. Penny Heneman. Sixth grade.

Porn name: Stone Heneman, Master of the Universe.

Posted by: J. Walker at May 21, 2008 7:27 PM

Concert: Well, probably that N'Sync concert that I served concessions at with my high school choir to earn money to go to New York.
Movie: The first movie I remember going to see was Beaches, which my grandma took me to when I was about 5. I remember telling my mom that I would cover my eyes during the kissing scenes. And I did.
Kiss: TBD. Yep, I'm 24 and never really been kissed, unless I was some kind of kiss-slut during kindergarten but blocked it all out of my memory. It's not something I'm proud of.
So, porn name= Beaches N TBD sounds like the peaches n' creme of the STD world, so why not?

Posted by: Cait at May 21, 2008 7:33 PM

socalledonlycousins, we have a lot in common

Matt, I know it, that Dyan gets around. Er, got around.

How fucked up do parents have to be to take a single-digiter to fucking Jaws? You were 6, I was 8 ... let's just say I have a deep and abiding fear of the ocean. Thanks Mom and Dad.

I still love that movie though.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 21, 2008 7:42 PM

I had to de-lurk for this one.

First Concert: KMFDM/Rammstein on my 16th birthday- almost 13 years ago. It was, um, quite the eye-opener. Looking through the comments, I'm jealous of the Op Ivy and Toasters people. That's rather awesome.

First Movie: Pretty sure it was a care bears movie.

First kiss: Does my sister count? If not- his name was Drew. I was 20.

Porn name: Drew Steinbear.

Posted by: Panacea at May 21, 2008 7:53 PM

First Concert: Robyn at Le Tulipe (Yay!)

First Movie: The Lion King

First Kiss: When I was ten, one of my friends admitted to having a crush on me. I can't remember her name, because she moved away later, all I can remember was that it was pretty much just the two of us mashing our faces together and keeping our eyes closed. Needless to say, it was my only kiss, and even then, it wasn't really a kiss, but I needed to post something here.

Porn Name: Robyn King. But I already chose my porn name to be, Jeremy Morgan, if only because I'm too lazy to change my first name.

Posted by: Jeremy at May 21, 2008 8:18 PM

First Concert: Bush/Toadies at Sunken Gardens (san antonio, tx)

First Movie: not sure really, the eighties were real hazy. I remember seeing The Jetsons: the Movie for sure though in 1990.

First Kiss: I gave a girl a peck kiss during truth or dare when I was 14, but that doesn't really count in my book.

Later that year, I was co-erced into going steady with a basketball jock who sorta slobbered on me.

French kissing for real and meaning it didn't happen until junior year to a late twentysomething (yet already balding) guy named Randy who wore a Godsmack tee (i hate them to this day because of this moment. It was on the dancefloor at Numbers (a shitty goth club in Houston) to New Order's "Out of Control". I never saw him again and the next day I took the SAT II's.

Posted by: Teresa at May 21, 2008 9:05 PM

1. Ronnie Milsap
2. The Last Unicorn
3. Chad Redding First boyfriend too. He broke up with me for a girl named Rosalyn Camp. I was in 5th grade. 7 years later had my first love, Chad Reade. He broke up with me for Rosalyn Connell. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Porn name: Crystal Chandelier, because who the fuck wants to me named Unicorn Milsap, the last Redding?

Posted by: lawyergirl06 at May 21, 2008 9:08 PM

1) First Concert: Ricky Martin
2) First Movie in a Theater: The Lion King
3) First Person Kissed: Alex. (The first one I'll count, at any rate.)

Name: Martina Lex the Lioness

Other options I was considering:

Lexxie Lion
Lioness Lex

Posted by: Ling at May 21, 2008 9:09 PM

1) First Concert: The Deftones with Thrice, Thursday and someone else. I had to go for the sake of my cousin but I ended up having more fun than everyone else, despite not really having any feelings for that band.
2) First movie: Fantasia. I think we left before the end.
3) His name was Sean, it was drunken, and I may have thrown up on or near him at some point. I don't entirely remember when or how he left, I just remember the copious quantities of alcohol.

Posted by: DalGirl at May 21, 2008 9:44 PM

I have had "Kill the Trendy" stuck in my head all day now. Ah Sloppy, such a great, ridiculous band.

Kill the Trendy!
Everybody knows they're full of...
Kill the Trendy!
Everbody know they're full of...
Kill the Trendy!
Everybody know they're full of SHIT!

Posted by: s. pisaster at May 21, 2008 10:15 PM

1. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Yes. That's right. Laugh it up, bitches.

2. Oliver & Company (followed closely behind by Little Mermaid. If there was anything before those two, I don't know.)

3. The stupid two-faced bitch that screwed me over in more ways than one.

Posted by: Mara at May 21, 2008 10:47 PM

Fear

lion king

Stef. C

theres potential. i got nothing.

Posted by: beau knerr at May 21, 2008 10:52 PM

1) First Concert: Soda Stereo (a cookie for the one who knows this group)
2) First Movie in a Theatre: Toy Story (I love that movie, even now)
3) First Person Kissed: Cynthia Marin, my first girlfriend a week after we started dating (yeah, I'm slow...)

Posted by: Radlum at May 21, 2008 10:54 PM

Concert: Sheena Easton at the state fair in 1985. I was 10. Back when that 'baby takes the morning train' song was still just popular enough to justify a state fair concert.

Movie: Empire Strikes Back. I came out of that with the biggest crush on Mark Hamill.

Kiss: John Wesley, at a party, when I was 15. I was just shy of the 'sweet 16 and never been' crap, and was determined not to let that happen to me. Probably should have stopped with the kiss though (tsk tsk).

Porn Name: Sheena's Empire of Johns. I can go with that.

Posted by: katy at May 21, 2008 10:57 PM

First concert: Chantal Kreviazuk - I wasn't invited to my friend's 98 Degrees concert birthday which occurred a year earlier. Woe.

First Movie in Theatre: Fantasia - Night on Bald Mountain was so fucking terrifying my parents had to escort me out.

First Kiss: Also an embarrassingly late bloomer - Josh during the previews before Shaun of the Dead. Hell. Yeah.

Posted by: Jams at May 21, 2008 10:57 PM

1). First Concert: KROQ's Acoustic Christmas. Much fun.

2). First Movie in a Theater: Terminator. I was three. My uncle was babysitting me. He saw no problem taking a toddler with him to the movies. I didn't realize those recurring nightmares I had for years were actually scenes from the Terminator until I saw it again twenty years later.

3). First Person Kissed: Alfred. I was seeing him in high school. Apparently I was the last girl he dated before he came out of the closet.

Posted by: leuce7 at May 21, 2008 10:58 PM

I guess my name works much better as a porn movie title rather than person's name.

Posted by: katy at May 21, 2008 10:59 PM

Oh yeah, Porn Name: Chantasia of the Dead. Eh? Eh?

Posted by: Jams at May 21, 2008 11:00 PM

First Concert: Silverchair.
First Movie: The Aristocats...or something like that.
First Kiss: Dylan Ryan. Both 6yrs old, playing kisschasy. It was sloppy and gross and just ugh...

Porn Name: Dylan Silvercat

Posted by: whenindoubt at May 21, 2008 11:03 PM

Kansas/Spirit/Artful Dodger, Stanley Theater, Pittsburgh, Pa., 1979.

Um ... maybe "Mary Poppins"? Geez, it's been four fuckin' decades, ya know?

Think it was Cindy N., church youth group, natch.

Porn name: The spirited and artful Cindy "Cherry" Poppins

Posted by: bucdaddy at May 21, 2008 11:36 PM

1st Concert: Foreigner/Cheap Trick

1st Movie: Bedknobs & Broomsticks
(i am so fucking old)

1st Kiss: Scotty Webber

Porn-name: Scotty KnobTrick

Posted by: wsapnin at May 21, 2008 11:51 PM

Concert: Pixies. I was 15, and my mom drove me and my best friend to Columbia, MO, and dropped us off at a damn bar to see the show. Negligent parenting? Check. Proudest moment? Double check.

Movie: Who could possibly remember? Although, to follow up with the negligent parenting theme, I do remember running wild in the aisle during Tess of the d'Urbervilles and also attending a foreign movie where the subtitles read something like, "Senorita, I am fucking you." Maybe the original of "Swept Away". Yeah, I was a precocious 6 year old, in that I was watching a clearly obscene movie and also able to read the subtitles.

Kiss: His name was Silas. He was some hot shit in kindergarten.

Porn name: Misty Meadows. Has nothing to do with any of the forgoing. It just is what it is

Posted by: garcin at May 22, 2008 12:29 AM

Concert: Radiohead, just this past Saturday no joke. I'm a cool kid, I swear!

Movie: Anastasia. I hated it.

Kiss: Todd Williams. 9th grade (haha). Was playing video games in his room, and wrestling/tickling quickly gave way to something much better. It was pretty sweet.

Too bad he was a cock and wouldn't pursue me because his jerk of a friend was interested, too. Neither of them had a life anyway.

Posted by: Claire at May 22, 2008 12:46 AM

concert: hanson. shut up, it was awesome. i'm secure in my dorkitude.

movie: uh...well the first movie i went to was when i was a month old. my parents took me with them to the drive-in to see poltergeist. classy.

kiss: a boy who i would much later realize must be one of maybe, like, four uncircumcised jews on the planet. suhweet.

Posted by: betsy at May 22, 2008 12:56 AM

First concert: AC DC. Oh yeah, Got to watch Angus Young writhe on his guitar with the parents rocking on. Good times.

First movie: My first movie going experiences were in the Drive-In. My parents took us to it, all the while explaining that they used to do that when they were dating. My father often struggled and swore at the speaker that was supposed to attach to the car, and my mom often ignored all of us. Jen, Jeff, and I probably went to the first one when we were 5 or 6, so I don't really remember. I do remember seeing Cape Fear with Robert DeNiro, and it scared the shit out of me. Earliest movie-going memories....

First Kiss: Fourth Grade, Brendan Hurley. I was at my friend Kelly's house, we were watching Ghost, and he ran over and kissed me. He was my 'boyfriend' at the time. He continued to run up, kiss me, then run away, until the 7th grade. It was a long time before I realized a guy might actually want to stick around and continue kissing me.

Posted by: Rachael at May 22, 2008 1:02 AM

I'm always so late to these things . . . oh well.

First Concert: New Kids on the Block. I was 9 years old. It seemed awesome at the time. But even then, I thought it was weird to hear a 13-year-old scream at the top of her lungs "Jordan! I want to have your baby!!" Yeah.

First movie: I don't know. I remember seeing The Jungle Book at the theater with my dad, but I'm sure I'd been before then.

First Kiss: That counted? Jimmy Littleton. I was 12, he was 13 or 14 and had been dating my friend until 2 weeks before then. Being older, he moved fast. I received my first kiss and got felt up all on the same day. Wowee zowee.

And just to round out my evening--my names are as follows.

Porn Name: Kitty Foxbriar
Soap Opera Name: Elisabeth Westminster
Drag King Name: Eddie Dodge

Posted by: Sharon at May 22, 2008 1:16 AM

First Concert: Coachella '99 (met my partner there)
First Movie: Grease (as a toddler; I still remember how exciting it was)
First Kiss: Martín (he was very chubby & cute; our parents were called when we got caught making out in kindergarten - I was heavily influenced by my stepmom's telenovelas).

Porn Title: Martín Coachella Presents Greasy Love Action '99

Posted by: mfg at May 22, 2008 3:05 AM

Ok...I AM that old, so here goes:
First concert:Chicago in the old Winnipeg stadium with my older brother
First movie:101 Dalmations the original
First kiss: Neilly, my next door neighbour and bf from birth until we hit our teens.
The above combination doesn't produce anything porn worthy but the first pet/school does: Samantha Valleyview

Posted by: brite at May 22, 2008 3:29 AM

1) First Concert: Phil Lesh and Friends (unless you count Rafi when I was 5)
2) First Movie in a Theater: Snow White
3) First Person Kissed: Jon Rose. Geek of my tenth-grade class that I was inexplicably attracted to. Did not end well.

Porn Name: Snow White Rose, and Friends??

Posted by: dede at May 22, 2008 3:33 AM

1) First Concert: Body Count/Spearhead/The Cure/REM et al. @ Werchter Festival '95
2) First Movie in a Theater: Howard The Duck (I was scared shitless)
3) First Person Kissed: An. Playing house during sleepover. I was 9, she was 8. Just out of curiosity. She's married to a tall handsome civil engineer now.

Porn Name: An "The Spear" Duckhead.

Posted by: Adere at May 22, 2008 4:55 AM

Porn name? What do you think "AlabamaPink" is?

HA! *wiping morning coffee from screen*

I confess I never thought of it like that...got more of a cute feminine vibe from you, missy...well, toss that image down the gutter!

Posted by: MO at May 22, 2008 8:01 AM

1. First Concert = Franz Ferdinand, Brixton Academy
2. First Movie = The first one I can remember was Never Been Kissed
3. First Kiss = French teenager called Leo in a club in Vienne

Posted by: Cat at May 22, 2008 8:17 AM

TK--I like that you're 1st concert was Kool and the Gang. It exposes just a tiny bit about you. :)
(I, too, saw them at the Heart of Illinois Fair 1983).

Get Down On It, brotha!

Posted by: wsapnin at May 22, 2008 8:31 AM

Concert: Bush Razorblade Suitcase Tour
Movie: An American Tail ("There are no cats in America, and the Streets are made of che-e-e-ese")
Kiss: Shawn Strong, Ninth Grade on the couch will allllllll our friends watching. Wet. Icky. Scarred me.
Name: Shawn Bush, American Tail

Posted by: Bridget at May 22, 2008 9:25 AM

Concert: James Taylor. (My hippie parents dragged me a few times to say James when I was little, but he is pretty good live.)
Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark. (Technically, since I was like, a baby. I don't remember my first actual film, though I'm sure it was something Disney.)
Kiss: Dana. (He was in college; I was a naive high school girl. Scandalous!)

Name: Dana Taylor, Raider of....Lost Virginity?

Posted by: Ariel at May 22, 2008 9:48 AM

Concert: Red Hot Chilly Peppers
Movie: Snow White
Kiss: Well, it was a long time coming,(I blame Smith) and when it happened I freaked a bit, and it didn't end well, but I'm never going to forget that boy.

Porn Name. Pepper White

Posted by: ziva at May 22, 2008 10:29 AM

Concert: Franz Ferdinand
Movie: Pinocio
Kiss: Mayka, Sigi, Jessi and Nikola, party lesbian phase, don't ask

Posted by: Maureen Tuckers Drumstick at May 22, 2008 10:41 AM

Concert: (God this is embarassing, but it wasn't MY idea to go) Beanbag
Movie: Either Christmas Story or The Bear
Kiss: Gutless Wonder (yes, it ended badly), in my back yard, was kinda lame....

Porn name: Berri Yardstickbagger? Wonderbags Fark-us? Hmmmm....

Posted by: frumpiefox at May 22, 2008 11:13 AM

1st concert: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Full Moon Fever tour. I was 8. My parents are awesome.

1st movie: Snow White? Possibly? I have a terrible memory, I'm really not sure. It may have been Jaws at a drive-in.

1st kiss: ummm...see the bit about the memory above. I think it was Matt Yurgelun. He's a doctor now; pity it didn't work out.

Posted by: thejodester at May 22, 2008 11:31 AM

First concert: Lucybell.
First movie in a theater: I really can't remember very well. Probably Beauty & The Beast.
First (French) kiss: Jorge Andrés *****, in a theater during a "Black Dog" screening (the one where Patrick Swayze plays a truck driver). We kissed twice for about five minutes each time. I had spit all over my face.

Porn name: Jorge Lucybell, the Black Dog.

Now that's just an awful name for a girl, but one hell of an alias for a tranny.

Posted by: Sofía at May 22, 2008 11:36 AM

First Concert: The Red Hot Chili Peppers (ugh, I'm embarrassed)
First Movie In A Theater: Probably was The Care Bears Movie
First Kiss: Erich, Sophomore Year of High School

Porn Name: Red Hot Chili Bear (hhhmmm....sounds like a different porn name than I was going for, wink wink nudge nudge)

Posted by: Sarah at May 22, 2008 12:07 PM

Can I get that cookie, Radlum? Of course I know who Soda is!

Are you Argentinian? I hate the term "Argentine"

Posted by: Nat at May 22, 2008 12:28 PM

1st Concert: oddly enough, The Cherry Popping Daddies

1st Movie: the re-release into theaters if Snow White I believe

1st Kiss: Matthew something...like all those kindergarten studs, they never stayed with one girl for long, sigh

Porn Name: Cherry Poppin Snow White

Posted by: bar at May 22, 2008 12:50 PM

1) First Concert: so embarassing, but DC Talk and Michael W. Smith. I was very into my youth group at church and we went as a group, with our mothers.
2) First Movie in a Theater: Annie
3) First Person Kissed: Brandon Kyler, summer before 8th grade. It was sloppy and gross. We commenced to practice all summer long. It never did get any better.

Porn name: Talking Annie Brandon?

Posted by: christina at May 22, 2008 1:10 PM

I had to comment so as to bridge to age gap.

1st concert: The Beatles, MLG, Toronto. '63 OR '64. [I still have the ticket stub, but can't be bothered finding it.]
I was from a small town so you can imagine my excitement!

1st Movie: My Beautiful Doll [1954?] w/ my older sisters.

1st. Kiss: Linda W. or Helen B. In Grade 4 we used to 'practice kiss'
on a car seat up-stairs in a neighbours barn.

Posted by: GrampyG at May 22, 2008 1:11 PM

1st concert: Police, in a tent on Tooting Common. Either late 70's or early 80's, I'm too senile to remember! I'd been listening to music for years by then, but my parents would never let me go to gigs. And since they held the pocketmoney, that was that...

1st movie: The Sound of Music. I hated it because it went on too long and nothing got blowed up. Fucking edelweiss.

1st kiss: some kid named Alfie, up against a van in the street I grew up in. We were having a competition with another 'couple' to see who could french for longest without giggling. We made our own fun in those days....

Posted by: Tarn at May 22, 2008 1:18 PM

First concert: Spin Doctors
First movie in a theater: Snow White with my dad, which makes the whole porn name thing a little creepier.
First Kiss: Aaron is the first one that counts, even though I never let him get to second

Porn name: Doctor Snow Aarons, which sounds more like a soap opera character, though possibly better than the pet name/first street thing: Inspector Brook. Yes, my hamster was named inspector. Yes I was (am) a dork. I am ok with that.

Posted by: takenotice at May 22, 2008 1:24 PM

1. First concert: NKOTB. It was great. We were approximately a mile away from the stage.

2. First movie: My parents took me with them to see Superman when I was six weeks old. I know I saw E.T. in the theatre and hated it and we had to leave.

3. Sean, from my math class. I was 17. It went for an hour and a half, so I may have been a late bloomer, but I'd like to think I made up for it.

Posted by: Julia at May 22, 2008 3:30 PM

1) sean cassidy. next was david bowie... quite a difference.
2) i can't remember the very first, but the first without an adult chaperone was "the champ"
3)kevin title - grade 7, spin the bottle.

Posted by: celery at May 22, 2008 3:41 PM

First concert: Bryan Adams, in 1983 before he was overly famous, at the Fairgrounds in Middletown, New York

First movie: Cinderella at a drive-in with my parents in the early 70s. Remember the whole experience clear as a bell!

First kiss: Chris H, in the hallway by my locker, sophomore year on Valentine's Day.

Posted by: Paris at May 22, 2008 3:54 PM

Concert: New Kids on the Block
Movie: Back to the Future
Kiss: Beau Edge (in his living room while his mom kept trying to spy through the window while outside "gardening")very romantic...

Porn Name: Kid Beau Back?

Posted by: ShelKat at May 22, 2008 7:46 PM

First Concert: Nickelodean all that & more concert...featuring LFO, Blaque, and B*Witched as the headlining acts. They were incredibly washed up, but we had 10th row seats. That doesn't really make up for it though.

First Movie: 101 Dalmations, in the '91 re-release

First Kiss: In preschool this kid kissed me on the arm. I was 4, and thoroughly disgusted.

Posted by: nona at May 22, 2008 7:55 PM

the first without an adult chaperone was "the champ"

Oh Jesus! That's a harsh way to start.

Posted by: Jay at May 22, 2008 8:05 PM

First concert: Neil Young, Dinosaur Jr.
First movie: Star Wars
First kiss: Joey McMahon

DinoStar McMahon?

Posted by: elscotto at May 22, 2008 8:11 PM

First concerts: The Jets

First movie: a re-release of Bambi

First kiss: 1982-a cute boy named Konosuke in sixth grade near our lockers. There was music playing downstairs during basketball practice and I was kissed to the best song ever in the history of the universe..."Sexual Healing."

Porn name: Bambi Sex-Jet

Posted by: pamela at May 22, 2008 9:16 PM

I can't believe I got late for this...

First big concert: Deep Purple.
First movie in a theater (the first I can remember, at least): Matilda, that one about the boxing kangaroo.
First kiss: a beautiful girl named Miriam.

So, I should I try a porn name for this... Ok, how about a porn title? "Deep Kangaroo, (starring Matilda and Miriam Purple boxing)"

Posted by: gargumma at May 23, 2008 3:17 AM

First concert - The Triple Threat Tour, which consisted of Belle Biv DeVoe, Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill. I still can't believe that my dad bought me a "Do Me" t-shirt AND let me wear it to school!

First movie in a theatre - Empire Strikes Back, baby! AND it was at the drive-in! In a normal theatre I think it was E.T.

First kiss - John Chickadale. No kidding, that was his name. Kindergarten. Does it count if you were the pursuer and he the reluctant pursuee? Poor kid never had a chance.

Porn (movie) Name - Belle Chickadale's Empire

Posted by: amanda at May 23, 2008 7:12 AM

First concert: The Doors and The Who (together). (I'm old, and yes that was a real Cheery Popper!)

First movie: Disney's Lady and the Tramp, or something like that.

First Kiss: Luscious Laurie.

Porn name: Johnny Bacdoor.

Posted by: Mike at May 23, 2008 10:08 AM

I'm questioning the accuracy of the following answers, but to the best of my recollection (and due to the kick-ass resulting porn name), the answers are:

1. Riders in the Sky
2. The Fox and the Hound
3. Brad Johnson (?)

Resulting porn name = Foxy Johnson Rider

Posted by: Newcat at May 23, 2008 4:10 PM

Okay, first... Oh my GOD, I am so old. If I didn't realise it a month ago when I actually turned 40, seeing YOUR list of firsts sealed it. Bon Jovi? ET??? Keee-ryst.

Here goes:

1) First Concert:
I refuse to count the Osmonds at the state fair, so... the first concert I ever paid to see, with my own money: Billy Joel, The Bridge

2) First Movie in a Theater:
Again, let's not count the various Disney treats; the first REAL movie I remember seeing in a theatre was Young Frankenstein -- and yes, I was VERY young and went with my parents.

3) First Person Kissed:
Pat Blashill, in the balcony of the community theatre, when I was 15. First kiss with tongue, that is -- I was so naive I didn't expect it, and felt justified, therefore, in biting it. Took him a good half hour to try again.

Terrific symmetry note: 3 years later, Pat was the guy who helped me get over the painful and humiliatingly unwilling loss of my virginity to a date rapist; a couple weeks after that sordid experience, Pat obligingly and graciously offered me a "do-over" so I'd have something NICE to remember about my initiation into the ranks of the sexually deflowered.

He was a great guy.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 25, 2008 2:11 PM

1. soul asylum
2. The Fox and the Hound
3. stevie brown

Resulting porn name = stevie the fox, the soul

Posted by: jessie-marie at May 26, 2008 3:08 AM

1st concert-red hot chili peppers
movie-the little mermaid
1st kiss- preston, 7th grade, it was awful but so cute

porn name-- cant make a good one so im stealing the other girls way with the middle name and street name

Alanna Longmeadow = awesome

Posted by: laura at May 27, 2008 7:03 AM

First concert: Kiss (yes, I'm old)

First movie in theater: Bambi

First real kiss (tongues): Tony something. I was 13. In his basement playing Truth or Dare. He used the tongue and I was shocked but sort of turned on.

Porn name: Bambi Tonykiss

Posted by: Grace at May 27, 2008 2:49 PM

First concert (that I didn't play in): Maynard Ferguson & his Big Band in Easton Pa.

First rock concert: Frank Zappa at the Carrier Dome

First movie: Lady and the Tramp

First real kiss: Geraldine ("Jerry") Counterman, at a band party / dance.

Porn name: Maynard Frank the Tramp Counterman

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 1, 2008 2:56 AM

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