Pajiba

My my is an ultimate cheap clothes shopper. It's like a sport to her. The shirts over $15? Go to yet another store until you find one just like it for cheaper. Those jeans are over $25? Move on and shop for 2348 more hours. It's an exhausting experience to shop with her. And she won't just buy the crappy stuff that's cheap--that's too easy. It's got to be decent quality: leather shoes, clothes not falling apart, nothing from a thrift store. I'd make fun of it more if I didn't do it a little, too. Thanks, mom.

I don't really examine my habits until someone points them out. Since you mention it, though, the first thing that comes to mind is how I own about 17 spatulas/scrapers in different sizes and shapes, for getting the very last of the food out of the bottle/jar/whatever.

Yes, when I've spent seven minutes running a spatula along the inside of the peanut butter or mayo jar, and produced a whole teaspoon and a half of extra product, you wouldn't believe how proud it makes me. "Look what a less frugal person would have just thrown away!" I probably look like a fucking lunatic.

I've even bought a couple of those funnel-with-clamps gizmos that lets you upend a bottle over another bottle and leave it until the very last drop of the upper bottle's contents drips into the lower bottle (or simply evaporates).

I don't know where I got this from. I've been on the scruff once or twice, but never been desperately poor. My maternal grandfather was a notorious stinge, so perhaps it is genetic.

Haha Jen, I hate that too. I worked with a guy who would just give them lemonade, tell them they were cheap and that he wouldn't charge them. He was fired for customer complaints.

I work in the hotel industry and thanks to the housekeeping closet I haven't had to buy my own toilet paper in over 3 years.

I work at Starbucks, and while yes, our coffee is overpriced, I have never seen so many cheapskates in my life. I work in a relatively affluent area too, which makes it more ridiculous. There's a DOCTOR that comes in to my store probably once or twice a day depending on his hours, and will reuse the same cup for almost a week, because refills are only 50 cents (free if you have a rewards card) I literally see the places where the cup is leaking and just double cup it because I can't take it -- which in turn leads him to use the second cup as his cup for another week. Thinking about how those paper cups just probably sit in his car or on his desk all day with the old milk - yeah, it's just too gross.

There's also a lawyer that comes in and will order a green tea lemonade, then come back and try to get refills (which we don't offer on the lemonades, just the straight up iced teas) When we tell him he can't, he argues until I either walk away from him (A+ customer service, I know) or whoever else is working caves in. I also found out that he does this at at least 3 other stores in the area. You are a lawyer, drive a brand new Mercedes and you're going to try to rip off Starbucks for a 2 dollar iced tea? Are you serious?

I bet I have other stories, but these 2 are the ones that enrage me the most.

I chatted up this guy that I barely knew in order to convince him to give me his concert tickets for free. It was a success, but I did feel kind of guilty.

But only until I mentioned this story to my friend, and he was like, "Hook me up with some!" So yeah: he used me to use the other guy. I had to go into flirtatious overdrive but it worked. And that's the last I ever talked to the poor guy who paid for my tickets.

But, I mean come on--it was fuckin' Morrissey.

Oh! I also quit my last job to take up jobs at both a chinese restaurant and a video rental store so that I didn't have to pay for either of my general weekend activities.

This weekend: Shutter Island and chicken egg foo young!

I'm only a cheapskate when I have no other choice. If I'm going to a convention (conservative cost for me: $100, including ticket, special events, and dealer tables) or a massive open call (cost: my good will towards man and sanity), I bring food and drink to last the day. Conventions charge ridiculous amounts of money for a soggy plate of french fries and a coke. This usually averages out to $6 without tax, and it's not much of either. Auditions of the large open call variety either don't offer food (and require you to eat outside of the premises or risk evacuation) or charge even more for those french fries and coke.

So, I bring my own healthy alternatives to the grease and sugar fest and store them wherever convenient. If the facility bans food, I'll store it in a cooler in my car and eat al fresco. Mmm...broccoli slaw salad with a juicy boneless chicken breast and an ice cold seltzer...

OK. When I see a movie in NYC, I need to go to a sandwich shop and smuggle a rolled meal into the theater. That's as much for the rush as it is for the cost, and only in the chain theaters that don't serve fresh popped popcorn or lattes and pastries like my favorites.

Sorry, I hate cheapskates.

And given that I'm the most broke person I know, it's surprising I am not that bad.

I did get a job at a jewelry store so that I could get a discount on my engagement ring. I was also able to pick it out and then make sure I got the best diamond for the price. I screwed over another store because we had 2 of my ring and they wanted one. So I sent them the ring with the big carbon spot in the middle diamond.

My mother-in-law washes out ziploc bags and reuses them. My husband frequently asks me, when he takes the last of something out of one, if I want to wash it and reuse it. He gets silence and the stinky-eye.

As far as sneaking food into a theater, I do it all the time... but: If you have the option, buy food instead of a ticket. All through college I worked in a movie theater. For those of you who don't know, movie theaters make dickety from ticket sales. That money all goes back to the studios. The food profit is how they afford to pay their employees and bills and whathaveyou.

Anyway, the particular theater I worked at was connected to a mall, and because of the architectural design, it was very easy to walk past the ticket counter without buying a ticket. Our ticket taker was in a bottleneck location right after the food. Whenever I was the ticket taker, if someone came up with an armful of food, I'd just wave 'em in. If you spent that much on our food, I could care less if you actually had a ticket.

To Jen, get over your uppity self.

Throwing away ziplock bags is idiotic, no matter how much money you make. Anyone who thinks otherwise simply needs to go to YouTube and look up "plastic in the ocean."

To L.O.V.E. and every other cheap bastard on this list (but mostly L.O.V.E.), you are most definitely da man!

I take all of the packets of parmesan cheese that I can from pizza places/deliveries. The I open them and shake them in to supplement the can of parmesan cheese I bought. I think I bought the original can over a year ago. I need help.

I also do not buy trash bags, kleenex,printer paper, or any other item I can readily snag from work. But that isn't so much about being a cheapskate as it is ripping off The Man.

The only thing I can remotely think of is my mum refusing to go to the loo at the train station because they charge you 30p for the pleasure. And then I got a speech about how in her day it was a penny, only it wasn't even a penny, it was a shilling, or a farthing, or some other such ancient coinage, and how if you worked that out in today's money she could go to the toilet 15 times for what it cost me to go once, and she would wait and go on the train thank you very much.

Jesus mother, it's 30 bloody pence.

You people have no idea about the mental toughness it takes to be a cheapskate. Being a cheapskate is not for the timid or lazy, one must almost be dead inside to avoid being seduced by guilt or shame.

My mother-in-law washes out ziploc bags and reuses them...

Posted by: jen at June 5, 2010 5:10 PM

I've done the same thing...
with condoms.

That is all.

This is the most informative, truly useful comment diversion I've seen in awhile (the parking ticket thing? Brilliant, L.O.V.E.)

And my local cineplex is structured just like Bistro describes his- I've only gone in to buy their popcorn for my girlfriend and walk back out, but if I get there between showings and linger, I could easily just go on in.

I'm gonna be putting these ideas to use!

I'm not cheap - Clinique are. Have to argue with them almost every time till they cave in and give me my free sample of lipstick in my shade. Also, there's a new girl now in the store near to where I live and the last time I was there she even tried to insist (unsuccessfully) I had to buy something before she gave me my sample of mascara even though I told her my sole purpose for being there was that I had run out of mascara. What's wrong with those people?

Well I think women determine to a large degree if a man is cheap or not. If I’m out with a lady and she’s receptive of my offerings, then I’m willing to spare no expense. But if I’m out with a woman that is somewhat locked into an antiquated belief system then our date might be an exercise in futility. We must both strive to be pragmatic in order to insure that our date is satisfactory to both.

I'm a bit of a Cheap Bastard. I grudge the water for my yard, for example, to the point that the fascisti who run my homeowner's association send me letters. I'm a bit Darwinian like that - if the grass is tough enough to survive, fine - if not, it was too weak to live anyway.

My aunt is one of the biggest cheapskates I know. In my large family the rule for Christmas present buying is that all of the nieces and nephews get gifts from all of the aunts and uncles until they are 18. Stupid, really, since many people in my family aren't exactly loaded. My aunt, however, was one of the better off ones but still used to shop for our next year gifts every year on December 26th when all of the tacky, generic Christmas gifts are on ultra clearance. I spent years getting Loves Baby Soft "parfum" sets that were old as hell, those cheap make up sets that contain 25 different eye shadow colors (again, old), chia pets, etc. I was so glad to finally turn 18. She still does this for the next generation of nieces and nephews.

I've never ran for the free food. I've gone days without eating simply because I didn't have the money.

I did, however, always have beer. Always. Most of the time I would scout out the local bars and find the one that had the cheapest special on that particular day. It got to a point where my friends would just call me and ask what the specials were instead of calling the bar.

I've also fixed the holes in my boots with the cardboard from beer boxes.

I'll beg your pardon, as I honestly don't mean anything negative here.
I'm blessed to be F/T employed and I've darn good health bennies. Whe it
comes to money, I'm nearly always screwed (and I hate suck at math, so
piss off). Damn though!! I honestly say that I simply don't have the *balls*
to pull off what some of you do. The mind boggles!
And a ::slow clap:: must be offered.

I haven't bought a shirt or pants or shorts in 12 years. I just rely on birthday and Christmas gifts for new clothes. Makes it easy and cheap for everyone.

I'm the opposite of a cheapskate. I almost have an aversion to anything discounted or free, and as someone else said, will spend more money on whatever is convenient for me. I never let anyone else pick up the tab on anything, and I hate being treated to/given anything. It's not exactly an ideal situation, but I've given up trying to completely change my ways. My finances and credit were a disaster when I was younger, unsurprisingly, but I've gotten them in line (fico went from a low of 508 to 748) and will enter my 30s debt free (minus a mortgage). My fiance is a total tightwad, so I like to think we balance each other out.

I'm cheap when I go out to bars. Not that I'd ever let friends buy me drinks but I'm infamous for getting drinks from random strangers. I have routines. Most times I'll just make sure I look cute and then I wander up to the bar pretending to be much drunker and ditzier than I am. I open my purse and search around it with a confused look on my face. Then I start a fake look around the floor as if I've lost something, sometimes muttering "Oh, no!" in a cute little voice. At this point some guy will pretty much always ask me what's the matter and I stammer "I lost like 60 bucks, I'm so drunk I must have just dropped it out of my purse. I'm such an idiot!" To comfort me they always buy me a drink. I thank them and wander back into the crowd. This even works on bartenders a lot of the time.

If all else fails I have a friend who routinely proposes to me at the casino. You have no idea how many free drinks and chips you get from other patrons when you've just made a spectacle of getting engaged.

Shameless, tasteless, hopeless.

A friend of mine once noticed the milk in her dad's tea was looking a little off-colour and lumpy, and suggested maybe it was off. He explained that it was the same milk he'd had on his cereal- he'd poured it into his tea afterwards.

I'd just like to point out, as non judgmentally as I can, that there is not exactly just "cheap" going on here:

Re-using ziplocks: cheap

"proposed to": deceitful

Haven't bought TP in years, thanks work!: stealing.

@Fredo:

You're hardly an anomaly in regards to being poor, yet not parsimonious. Numbers aside, the les affluent you are, the more you give in percentages as per service industry, charitable donations, etc.

'Bill Gates' was right. You don't rich by writing a bunch of cheques.

More cheap tips. I'm dirt poor, so I can't afford to eat out. This really sucks at work when everyone else is eating their tasty fast food and I have the home-packed lunch.

I've found many ways to avoid eating out. I bring trail mix in my purse--it stops all fast food cravings. I refill my eco-friendly canteen with flavored water at home, so I never buy soda or juices outside. I bring snacks in my purse to the theatre. I make bigs bowls of soup. IT's cheap and lasts forever. Plus, it's very healthy. Oatmeal and fruit is a very cheap breakfast that fills you up forever.

And, if I do eat out, I show up for lunch, or find the "2 for 1 entree" coupons in the newspapers. I ALWAYS make sure to leave a good tip to cover both meals, though. I've worked in restuarants and I REALLY hate it when cheapskates come in with coupons and then only tip for one entree. It's one thing to be cheap, but another to stiff the waiter. That's where you stop being cheap and start being a classless jerk.

Well, another Scorzi's dad story!

My father has a few mottos. One is "everybody Wang Chung tonight", and one is said with a pointed finger and a Clint Eastwood squint: "I will never pay for parking."

My dad is now sixty one. I'm twenty eight. For twenty-eight years (probably more, but I wasn't alive for them) my father has never paid to park a car. His car, a rental car, anyone's car. He will not pay on a vacation, going to the beach, or going to a fancy restaurant.

The situation will start like this: He will pull up to where the excursion is taking place. Let's say the beach, for argument's sake. He will idle the vehicle, squinting at the parking sign and the price, and as everyone in the car unbuckles he snaps "Don't get out yet, I'm not parking here!" We then buckle up again until he decides what he wants to do. The beach situation has never changed. He will deposit everyone in the vehicle, be it man, woman, baby, dog or houseguest, at the entrance to the beach with all coolers, blankets and beach toys. He will then drive away and park a good mile and a half down the road in an abandoned weed-choked lot, or sometimes will hide the car behind a lonely roadside gas station or corner store. It must be noted that in all the years of him "hiding" the family station wagon, nothing was ever stolen. Dad's method for outwitting robbers was to drape beach towels over all the seats and hide valuables underneath them.

By this time, everyone would be set up on the beach and engaged in relaxation and play. My Dad would show up sweating, having walked between one and two miles in running shoes, madras shorts, zinc oxide on his nose, Ray Band sunglasses, and a large assortment of back hair. At the end of the day, it was our job to pack everything up and wait at the entrance to the beach again, while he walked back to get the car. He was never ticketed and never paid for a single parking spot. Even though he'd be exhausted from spending a day in the water and running around with us kids, he'd zoom up with the AC blasting and a grin on his face, and he'd keep repeating to my mother "Mary, I didn't pay again!"

I love my Dad.

P.S. I told him about Pajiba and explained to him what blogging was and how people enjoyed the stories about him. Dad has never used a computer, has no email address, but he wanted to let you guys know that he was flattered you thought he was funny.

This thread is fascinating. I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with being a cheapskate as long as you don't cross the line to "classless jerk", as someone else mentioned already.

My cheapness extends to canceling my garbage service because I recycle a lot and don't produce a lot of garbage, but when I get enough for a full bag, my mom gets to take it home as a souvenir whenever she visits. I also refill my water jugs at work (my well water is beyond nasty to drink) instead of buying new bottles every week. And since my sister and I have similar health problems, we usually check with each other before filling a new prescription to see if either of us has the drug in stock and isn't using it, rather then spend money on a drug that may not work anyway.

What I hate are the rich folks who can well afford things but go to a ridiculous length to avoid it. I have a co-worker who is constantly bragging about how much he makes trading stocks, who inherited a nice sum from his mother, and who fixes up old cars and sells them for a tidy profit. But he refuses to get a cell phone. We're forever getting personal calls for him at work, and once I made the mistake of letting him use my phone, only to get inundated with calls for him on a daily basis for weeks. He once borrowed a single 500 mg Vicodin from me when he forgot his own supply, and when he "paid" me back with one of his own, noted that HIS pills were 750 mg. "You want change?" I asked in disbelief. I never once asked for reimbursement for use of my cell phone because I thought that would be tacky.

There are plenty of article sites but not a lot are targeted for business related issues.