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January 23, 2008 |

By Ranylt Richildis | Comment Diversions | January 23, 2008 |


Oh, we’re such a scrappy bunch these days. In celebration of Classics Week, we invite you lily-handed, soft-bellied, cubicle pugilists to name the celebrities you’d most like to throw-down with, kick in the teeth, and spit on, as Dustin wrote in the original Celebrity Fight List diversion (man, we’re mean).

The catch: this time around, limit your celebrities to those who thrived pre-1975 (a good, arbitrary year, if I say so myself). Let’s focus our wrath on the genuine, decrepitly classic celebrity—not the John Hughes variety of old school which, for those of us born before 1975 (ahem), ain’t so much Classic as Recent Memory. (Fictional pre-1975 movie characters are still legitimate alternatives.)

For instance:

1. The one and only Liza Minnelli (self-evident);

2. Charlton Heston (self-evident);

3. Mickey Rooney (you guys stole my thunder in the Tiffany’s thread—fat sloppy kisses to all);

4. James Cagney (nothing wrong with the man’s performances or movies—I’ve just always wanted to go at his smirk with unwarranted violence, and he’s scrappy enough to give me a good fight);

5. John Fucking Wayne.

Celebrity Fight List -- Classics Edition

An Afternoon Comment Diversion / Ranylt Richildis

Comment Diversions | January 23, 2008 |




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