Pajiba

1. "Untouchable Face" - Ani Difranco
2. "Black" - Pearl Jam (once sent to me on a post-break up mixed tape - ouch!)
3. "Pictures of You" - The Cure (ah, high school)
4. "The Old Apartment" - Barenaked Ladies
5. "No Man's Woman" - Sinead O'Connor

I got two for ya:



1). The "Angry Feminist Chick breakup song: Tori Amos, Blood Roses (from Boys for Pele). Best line: "I shaved every place where you'd been, boy." Can't beat that for a "Fuck You!"



2). The "We got back together after a bad split" breakup song: Barenaked Ladies, Call and Answer (from Stunt). Best line: "I'm warning you, don't ever do the crazy messed-up things that you do - if you ever do, I promise you, I'll be there first to crucify you." Sad, and bitter, but ultimately hopeful. A good healing song, for those so inclined.



Ah, sweet (bittersweet) memories.

I'll play.

1. "Hallelujah," Rufus Wainwright version.

2. "What a Good Boy," Barenaked Ladies.

3. "Since You've Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson. Throw tomatoes, won't you? Hey, he was a dick and it was in heavy rotation on the radio that summer.

4. "Beth," KISS.

5. "Jackson," June Carter and Johnny Cash.

1. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
2. What Went Wrong - Slackers
3. It's Your Love - Tim McGraw
4. Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco
5. Caught Out There - Kelis

Alice in Chains, 'Heaven Beside You'

and

No Doubt, 'Everything In Time'

The first of these wasn't for a real relationship, it was for a high school friendship/crush that ended. The second was real and painful.

In self-disgust and shame I share these:

1. The Association - Never My Love: Breakup 1988, after I wasn't her date to prom

2. Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet: Breakup 1990 driving home from Aspen

3. 10CC - I'm Not In Love: Breakup 1992, after I came out

4. Cher - Believe (in life after love): Breakup 1998 with first boyfriend

These are from my post breakup running mix- heartbreak and anger can be quite motivating!

starkville- Indigo Girls

What About Love- Heart

Beacon Street- Nanci Griffith

Adelaide- Old 97s

I Want To Break Free- Queen

1) Oh, My Sweet Carolina - Ryan Adams (All of Heartbreaker, really)
2) I Will Survive - Cake
3) Nightswimming - REM
4) A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan (acoustic version)
5) Where Is My Mind - Pixies

I've only had one lengthy relationship before my current boyfriend/fiance/life partner, but it did end in that crashing, tumultuous day-long grieving ceremony, only part of which involves latching on to a song. Lucky me, I just happened to be listening to Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle" that week, a song that I hear every other time I do groceries. It'll be three years this June since that relationship went down, so I guess it's a good thing I've finally become impervious to the power of Croce's whiskey-fueled, tear-inducing mumblings.

Willie Nelson - "I Just Can't Let You Say Goodbye"

Elliot Smith- "Waltz #2"

Jolie Holland- "All the Morning Birds"

The Kinks- "Alcohol"

Just seeing that others have posted 'Untouchable Face' by Ani Difranco is enough for me to picture the break-up surrounding it. Another one is 'Basement Apartment' by Sarah Harmer, for no other reason than it was on repeat after a particularly bad break-up.

"Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve Pipe. This is more of an instance of unrequited love. My best friend, whom I was desperately in love with, came out to me one summer...I spent the next few months in college listening to this song on repeat and wishing I had a penis. Or, you know, that he was straight.

"Extraordinary Machine" & "Waltz (Better Than Fine)" by Fiona Apple.

The relationship had been over for a while before I heard that album, but those songs just made sense.

Ok, this is an old cut, but I'd be lying if this song didn't speak the truth: "Break up to Make Up" by the Stylistics.

Someone mentioned "Ex-Factor" by Lauryn Hill. Another excellent choice.

i just called off my wedding and eight year relationship last week so every freaking song within earshot seems crushingly relevant.
but
mary j. blige with lauryn hill - "i used to love him"

The Clarks - Penny On The Floor. gets me everytime.

"No Good Trying" - Syd Barrett

"Hospital"- The Modern Lovers

"Gardenhead-Leave Me Alone"- Neutral Milk Hotel

"Deep in the Woods"- the Birthday Party. With the lyrics: "Tonight we sleep in separate ditches."

I shouldn't over-think the fact that my songs were written by Jonathan Richman, Jeff Mangum, and Nick Cave-all crazies.

"Song for the Dumped"- Ben Folds Five (the Japanese version too!)

"Dinner at Eight"-Rufus Wainwright (an elegy for love)

Amen on Ani DiFranco's "Untouchable Face." Really tender, bitter, touching and angry.

p.s. And don't forgeeeeet, to give me back my black T-Shirt.

1. (i hate) everything about you - three days grace
2. hole in the head - sugarbabes
3. crowing - toad the wet sprocket
4. waiting in vain - annie lennox
5. i hope you dance - lee ann womack

Basically, the entire album of Fiona Apple's "When the Pawn." Also, Beck's entire "Seachange" album.

Both of those got me through the absolute most painful, heartbreaking break-up ever.

Tori Amos works well, too.

I've had my share of breakups... here's a few associated songs:

1)Moneen - No Better Way To Show Your Love Than A Set Of Broken Legs
2)Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
3)Coldplay - The Scientist

Usually the breakups were brutal but we ended up being friends. Maybe the songs helped.

"Fix You" by Coldplay - playing on the radio as I drove home from his place for the last time. Still makes me bawl.

I've only had one really awful breakup. I was 19, he was 26, when we met, and fell in love. We moved in together and I thought we'd be together forever (cheesy, I know, but I can't care), I was that in love. Two years later, on Halloween, he came home and told me he "could no longer love me the way I deserved to be loved." Whatever that meant. I was completely devastated, my entire outlook on life was altered, and I was pretty empty inside for a long time afterward. Now, nearly ten years later, I can honestly say that I learned more from that experience than from anything else in life so far. Anyway, Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" ripped my heart out each time I heard it back then, and still touches me deeply to this day.

My most recent break up was a serious relationship, that lasted over a year, with a girl who was more and more crazy, and who I was less and less attracted to, but stayed with out of inertia. The breakup song?
"There's no love for you girl(Go away)" by the white stripes. damn if there hasn't been a harsher breakup song. "I can't look at you in the face when we are talking, so it help to have a mirror in the room.

This is a fun one. I don't really have much experience in the breaking up department, partially because I'm awesome and anyone's a moron to break up with me (sarcasm, of course), and partially because I just don't date a lot and it's apparently damn near impossible to find decent guys--and girls, I'm sure--around my particular location, but...

1) Fallen for you--Sheila Nichols. Not really a break-up song, but an unrequited love song. Either way, a good song and I found it randomly on the High Fidelity soundtrack right when the movie came out.

2) Pennies--Smashing Pumpkins. A b-side. It's cheery sounding and all "fuck you" at the same time.

3) Selfless, Cold, and Composed--Ben Folds Five. One of their greatest songs ever and the whole "You just smiled like a bank teller, like you're telling me have a nice life" line just completely summed up this one guy I dated.

4) Split Screen Sadness--John Mayer. Summed up one of the few really serious relationships I had.

5) As You Are-Travis. Fran Healy does it best.

Oh, and one last one--Tymps (The sick in the head song) by Fiona Apple. For the guy who broke up with me and then somehow won me back. Told you I'm awesome. ;)

Oh, this one is kind of embarrassing: "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz...but we were driving one night, and we sang along quietly because we both knew it was coming to an end but just couldn't talk about it anymore.

Hmm..."Pink Bullets", "Those to Come", "The Past and the Pending", and "Saint Simon" by The Shins.

And "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds.

Oh, and "Come Back to Camden" by Morrissey.

That's more than five, sorry...if it makes it better, it was all one break-up...

"All I Want" Toad the Wet Sprocket

I dated this guy in the late 90's and he only listened to hip hop, which I hated and he hated my Radiohead and whatnot (shouldhave seen those signs!), and we weirdly figured out that we both liked Toad the Wet Sprocket so we listened to Fear all the time.

"Glycerine" Bush

Same guy. It was playing when we broke up.

Knowing that Lucinda Williams devoted years of heartbreak and pain to creating Car Wheels on a Gravel Road was enough for it to be a source of soothing after my heart was stomped on a couple of times...

The best (breakup) song on the album is Metal Firecracker "all I ask/don't tell anybody the secrets/I told you"

sonya kitchell - 'let me go'
cat power - 'good woman'
beyonce - 'me myself and I' (a danced-up,celebratory remix)
jamie cullum - 'twentysomething'
psapp - 'tiger, my friend'

all the same guy. much older and still cheated on my fine, young ass.

Out Of Line BY Buckcherry

I am me, and i wont change!! Take it or leave it,,

done

1. Braille - Regina Spektor
2. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
3. The Freshmen - Verve Pipe

After my first love got me to break up with myself (backstory: he sat with his head in his hands as I tried to guess what was wrong. When I got to "do you want to breakup with me?", he just nodded yes. Then got up all happy, gave me a deep kiss and walked out my door.) The song "Listen to your heart" by Roxette came on the radio. To this day (almost 17 years later) I can't hear the song without getting a sad/achy feeling.

Another not so tragic breakup came with an artsy guy I met in high school. Two songs will always be linked with him "What I am" by Eddie Brickell and The New Bohemians and "Welcome to the Jungle" Guns and Roses.

Samantha T: Thanks for the sympathy: odd thing is, I didn't live in a ghetto or anything. She was just being a bitch.

Anyway, I forgot to add:
Don't Dream It's Over: Crowded House

Don't ever listen to this song unless you're completely over the guy/girl because it gives you false hope.

Also, based on this thread, does the average Pajiban (if there is such a thing) tend to go through painful break-ups but then lead quite a happy settled life? I'm seeing 8-10 year lasting relationships here which is quite an achievement for a group of scathing bitchy people.

1. True Colors-Cyndi Lauper (It was middle school and he was my first "true love." I actually found out he broke up with me when my best friend asked if she could date him now...in the middle of band practice. Hey, everybody was in band in my middle school...memories *sigh*)
2. Deep Water-Jewel
3. What's Left of the Flag-Flogging Molly (Angry breakup anthem)
4. At this point in my life-Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman always makes me cry. There is just something about her voice that bleeds melancholy out of me.)
5. Winter-Bayside (This is the perfect song for lying on the floor and crying, no matter what the reason for the tears)

Geetch, that's hilarious, because "The Luckiest" was my best friend's wedding dance. Not knowing the lyrics to the song, I am now tremendously confused.

i knew i was forgetting something.
paul simon - "50 ways to leave your lover"
and
ani difranco - "come away from it" to remind you of the dark dark times before the breakup.

Breakups have become part of my monthly ritual, but I ended a 7 year relationship recently, and my god did it suck. I thought we'd get married, etc., then just fell out of love. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with. So here's my list for that relationship:

1. Northern Lad, by Tori Amos.
"Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page. When you're only wet because of the rain."

2. Black Hair by Nick Cave.
"Today she took a train to the west."
(I actually have a tattoo of this lyric)

3. Grey by Ani DiFranco
"I smoke and I drink and every time I blink I have a tiny dream. But as bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem."

4. I've Been Loving You Too Long by Otis Redding
nuff said.

5. La Tortura by Shakira
"ay amor, me duele tonto. Fue una tortura perderte" (oh my love I hurt so much, it was a torture to lose you)

6. Jamaica Inn by Tori Amos
"He says she reminds him of me when we first met, in those early days. The sexiest thing is trust. I wake up to find the pirates have come..."

Okay, now I'm going to weep in my coffee and try to finish my summaries so I can graduate!

When I was 16, my first real girlfriend broke up with me and it nearly killed me. That first break-up is the worst, because you know, just know, in your heart that she was the one for you, that you'll never find anyone like her again, that your life is over. You feel that pain so much stronger at that age because it's not tempered by experience or age-earned wisdom.

The summer that followed was brutal, but Billy Joel's Cold Spring Harbor got me through it, particularly "Why, Judy, Why." That album will always hold a special place in my heart.

My next serious girlfriend, and truly my first love, came along about a year later. When we first started dating, we couldn't get away from "Same Old Lang Sine" by Dan Fogelberg. It was on the radio every time we turned it on, at the mall, drifting out of car windows. It inevitably became "our song." Of course, that was more than 15 years ago, and we've long since lost touch, but I still think of her every time I hear it (usually around Christmas time). Ironically, it's about running into a long-lost lover after many years and finding that you just don't have that much to talk about anymore....

Finally, there were the college break-ups, arising at the height of my CD addiction (and personal mix-taping renaissance). Remember when making a mix tape actually involved making a tape, complete with releasing the pause/record button at just the right time, hand-written song-titles and the eternal dilemma of what to do with the :26 of silence at the end of Side A? But anyway, I digress. To get through this batch of heart-rending break-ups, I made a tape called "Survival," Side A of which consisted of sad songs of lament and Side B focusing on bitter redemption. I offer, for your perusal, four of the bitter songs that helped heal me:

1. "Untouchable Face" by Ani DiFranco. The ultimate break up song, including, of course, the chorus:

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

2. "Porch" - Pearl Jam. Once again, it's all about the lyrics:

"What the fuck is this world
Running to, you didn't
Leave a message, at least
I coulda learned your voice one last time"

and

"I could not take a-just one day
I know when I would not ever touch you hold you
...feel you...in my arms...never again..."

3. "No Need to Argue" - the Cranberries. Pretty much the whole song:

"There's no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore.
And the thing that makes me mad,
Is the one thing that I had,

I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

And I remember all the things we once shared,
Watching T.V. movies on the living room armchair.
But they say it will work out fine.
Was it all a waste of time.

'Cause I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

Will I forget in time, ah,
You said I was on your mind?
There's no need to argue,
No need to argue anymore.
There's no need to argue anymore."

4. "You Oughta Know" - Alanis Morissette.

'Nuf said.

"Love Ridden" - Fiona Apple
"I Know" - Fiona Apple (kind of the whole When the Pawn...album)
"You Oughta Know" - Alanis
"End It on This" - No Doubt
"Rootless Tree" - Damien Rice
"Swans" - Unkle Bob

I hardly post on these type of things, but damn this one felt relevant.

My first break up song was Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know. The jerk cheated on me with the homecoming queen. However, know every time I see him he tries to hook up with me and I turn him down ever so politely. Sweet Justice.

Ahh now the rest of my break up songs that have revolved around the same guy for the last 4.5 years. I believe we actually had a two year period somewhere in there where we didn't break up once. I think we are on about our 8th break up. I know I know...it's unhealthy but from reading all these post I'm not the only crazy person who thought they were in love who has ever put up with it before. Granted I claim I'm seriously done this time....but anyways without further rambling....

1. Sometimes Love just Ain't enough

2. Are You Happy Now? - No Doubt

3. Goodbye my lover - James Blunt

4. She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd

5. My immortal - Evanescence

Am I the only one tempted to burn a CD right now? I forgot how healing screaming and crying with the aid of music could be.

Top Five, some are repeats:

1. Billy Bragg, A New England
How can this possibly be overlooked? As heartbreaking as Must I Paint You A Picture is, nothing can beat the simplicity, urgency, and emotion of this song

2. Barenaked Ladies, Call and Answer
More post post breakup, when you realize you really care and want to reopen that door but can't figure out how anymore, regardless of whether you actually want to get back together... proves that Steve Page is a goddamned genius pegged as a novelty act, which makes it all the sadder

3. Stars, Your Ex-Lover is Dead
This will be the breakup song of my generation if they know what's good for them... gorgeously lush instrumentals and driving energy make it a good enough song even outside of a breakup, the he said/she said of the lyrics gets you every time, and the eternal sunshine copping music video just tops it off (see also- the postal service, nothing better.. not nearly as good, but amazing nonetheless)

4. Elvis Costello, Billiant Mistake
The most eloquent and classy expression of angst I've ever heard... "I wish that I could push a button, and talk in the past and not the present teanse, and watch this hurtin' feeling disappear, like it was common sense" really just says everything.

5. Wilco, Reservations
This list is severely lacking in Wilco love thus far and there's some great options, but this is the one song that has made me cry in equal measures in and out of a relationship, so i think it makes the cut

Runner Up: Eels, "Its a Motherfucker"... god bless E for just saying it like it is, seriously

I am going through a break up right now and for some reason the songs that seem to get me most are:

1. What if you? Joshua Radin
2. The Weakness in Me. Joan Armatrading
3. Tennessee. The Wreckers (go ahead and laugh)
4. Arms of a Woman. Amos Lee
5. Trouble. Ray LaMontagne

Sonnet - The Verve.

You Hurt Me - Marla Glen.

Choux Pastry Heart - Corinne Bailey Rae.

No Buses - Arctic Monkeys.

Pink Squares - I Was A Cub Scout.

Okay, I already posted, but really, this is kind of my specialty in life. Here are some more:

"Will You Miss me When I Burn?" Bonnie Prince Billy

"Hate" Cat Power

"Tear in your Hand" Tori Amos

"The Darker Days of Me and Him" PJ harvey

"A Case of You" Jonie Mitchell

"La Cienega Just Smiled" Ryan Adams

"For the Sake of the Song" Townes Van Zandt

"Us" Regina Spektor

"Crown of Love" Arcade Fire

"Enid" and "Break Your Heart" the Barenaked Ladies

"Grand Canyon" The Magnetic Fields

"These Living Arms" The Tea Party

"Little Drop of Poison" Tom Waits

"One Spring Morning" Akon/Family

"Thunder Road" Bruce Springsteen (I know, but come on!)

"Crash and Burn" Sheryl Crow

"Sick of Me" Ani DiFranco

"It Serves You Right to Suffer" John Lee Hooker

"Dia Luna, Dia Pena" Manu Chao

Seriously, all of these songs have been put to good use recently.

Sarah McLachlan - Stupid

I was clinically depressed and my life was falling apart; he was emotionally manipulative and cheating on me.

1. The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most - Dashboard Confessional
2. You've Got Her In Your Pocket - The White Stripes
3. Between the Bars - Elliott Smith
4. King Caesar - Head Automatica
5. This Modern Love - Bloc Party

Much like blueflynyc's list, all these songs revolve around the same person and our multiple break ups over a number of years. Man that boy makes me bananas and, apparently, emo.

"Pictures of You" The Cure -- First High School boyfriend, oversensitive, artistic, many years later turned out to be gay. I remember feeling vaguely embarrassed that he put this song on.

"If Wishes were Changes" Nanci Griffith -- I was leaving for college, and he was staying there. It was time to go, and no regrets, but after he dropped me off that night I crawled in bed with my mom and cried.

"Anna Begins" Counting Crows -- End of an 8 year relationship that started in college and ended in Central Park. That song was in and out of the entire eight years. Still tugs some strings and makes me smile because it carried me from puppy love through adult pain.

Now I'm happily married and I'll never have another break-up!

its a wonderful life- Sparklehorse

This is gonna be bad:

Don't Treat Me Bad - Firehouse
Yeah, that was high school. For some reason it was "our song" so it made it even worse. Now I just cringe that I thought the song was good.

Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
I was in a particularly messed up place and could not stop making the same mistakes. I still think about her with this one.

Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something, Sidewinder Sleeps - REM
The first because it was her favorite movie, the 2nd because that song came out when everything was the best between us.

Kiss From a Rose - Seal
I change the channel when this one comes on.

This is How You Remind Me - Nickelback
I identified with all the lyrics but mostly because of the line "it must have been so bad, cuz livin' with me must have damn near killed you"

That's enough dredging for now. I've been with the same girl for the last 4 years but this was still depressing. Thanks Dustin! ;-)

1) Tear In My Beer--Hank Williams (drunk stage)
2) Cocaine Blues--Johnny Cash (anger stage)
3) 3rd Planet--Modest Mouse (i-still-love-you stage)
4) Svefn-g-englar--Sigur Rós (god-this-totally-sucks stage)
5) Hey Jude--The Beatles (getting-over-it-finally stage)

Boots are Made for Walking - Nancy Sinatra

Hey - sometimes the breakup is a good thing, particularly when they start the process and you get the last laugh:

1. I'm Still Standing - Elton John
2. Already Gone - The Eagles
3. I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins
4. Another Girl - The Beatles
5. You're Breakin' My Heart - Nilsson (sometimes, you just have to stand up and say "Fuck You", ya know?)

You can get over anyone if you get in your car, put these on the stereo, crank up the sound, and blast them all the way down the highway.

And an extra one...
6. I'm Doing Fine Now (Without You, Baby) - The Pasadenas

The only ones I still remember are for the same girl:

1) Whenever you breathe out, I breathe in (Positive Negative)---Modest Mouse

2) Elevator love song---Stars

As for the others, well, I have a good memory---I can go all "Eternal sunshine" without the brain-zapping.

Good Taste

1. Beck - Lost Cause
2. Wilco - We're Just Friends
3. Radiohead - (Nice Dream)
4. Rufus Wainwright - Dinner at Eight
5. Fiona Apple - Love Ridden

Bad Taste

1. Dido - See You When You're Forty
2. Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy
3. Coldplay - Warning Sign
4. Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
5. Annie Lenox - No More I Love Yous

Left and Leaving - The Weakerthans for these lines:
"Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me: a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest. The best parts of lonely. Duct Tape and soldered wires, new words for old desires, and every birthday card I threw away."

These Days - Nico for this line: "I had a lover, I don't think I'll risk another these days..."

I just remembered a good one: "If It's Not With You" by Phoenix.

I'm French so two of my choices will not be very interesting for the Pajibans, but I'll play:

First boyfriend, 3 weeks, 14 years old, completely humiliating (isn't everything at 14?): Michel Polnareff Le bal des Lazes.

Second boyfriend,2 years from 15 to 17: Serge Gainsbourg "Je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais" (I've come to tell you I'm leaving, with a woman sobbing in the background, nice)

Current boyfriend, 4 years and counting, but 2years ago told me he would never be in love with me, so..."Wonderwall" Oasis.

oooooo... let's see:

your ex-lover is dead - stars (*so*good*)

both sides now - joni mitchell (a requisite listening for crying in the bathtub)

international small arms traffic blues - mountain goats (best line ever: 'there is a a shortage in the blood supply/but there is no shortage of blood')

our hell (emily haines)

Haha, Bullfrog, I can see why you would be confused. "The Luckiest" is a guy telling a girl how all the mistakes he's made in his life have brought him to her, and how they're fated to be together, just like an old couple who died peacefully a few days apart because they didn't want to live without each other; he packs a lot into one song. But the reason it's my break-up song is because it has always felt like a letter written to me and my ex...we got together under such strange circumstances that we never could believe it was random, except that those same circumstances were the reason we couldn't stay together; it should have lasted longer than it did, and even though it's been almost three years, it still hurts. And that's my therapy for the week.

First serious GF and I broke up after dating for around 3 years and there was one CD that I listened to for about a week straight. "It'll End in Tears" by This Mortal Coil. 7 years later and I still can't hear the track "Song to the Siren" without getting visibly upset.

ooof, embarrassing coming right up:

Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel (Shut up. I was 13. And it was 1994, so I had no excuse, but never mind that.)

The Weakness in Me - Joan Armatrading
Not sure why this one made/makes me feel sad and heartbroken instead of guilty -- it perfectly describes the situation I was in, except I was the person tempting the narrator away from their old love. I listened to it obsessively while failing to get what I wanted, though, so maybe that's it.

Pale September - Fiona Apple.
I can't even remember why I associate this song so strongly with the boy I loved when I was 16, but I think of him every time I hear it.

Oh fun.

1- Sympathetic Character- Alanis Morissette

2- Northern Star- Hole

3- X.Y.U.- Smashing Pumpkins

4- Dying- Hole

5- Could I Leave You?- Original Broadway Cast of Follies (Alexis Smith)

Totally cliche, but "Never There" by Cake. What can I say, it spoke to me! Plus, the bastard totally wrecked U2 for me--it took about a year before I could start listening to any U2 song without wanting to crawl under a rock. Now, if only I can start listening to Muse again without feeling sad...

One Step Closer - Linkin Park
Black - Pearl Jam
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
Right Here - Staind
Bitches Ain't Shit - Snoop and Dre

I can break down my break up songs from my last relationship into two groups: those that I listened to ad nauseum for weeks after the break up,and those that I find hard to listen to because they remind me of that relationship's end.

1)Bring it on Home to Me: Etta James & Otis Redding.

2)If I Can't Have You: again, Etta James. I went on a total blues bend for those few weeks. And you'd be right if you guessed that I was the dumpee in that relationship, just judging by those two songs.

3)I'm Comin' Home: Cinderella. No, I'm not hair band freak. But he was. And he loved that song, so I now associate it with him. I can't even listen to it, I turn it off when I have the misfortune of stumbling upon it.

4)Bed of Roses: Bon Jovi.Same thing as Cinderella. Except it reminds me of a specific night that I would like to forget.

5)Sweet Jane: Velvet Underground. This is a special case here. On our first date, I discovered that we shared the same favourite song, and this was it. Although he liked a different version (Mott the Hoople). When we broke up, I was pissed, because I was afraid that he had forever ruined my favourite song for me. Luckily I have moved past that, and can enjoy the song again, but I still always think of him when I hear it.

Ha, you want embarassing and cliche? Try being 19 and in college in a small midwestern town when Third Eye Blind's "How's it Gonna Be?" came out. I bought the cd maxi-single (remember those?) and that song will forever be linked to my first love.

On a less embarassing note, I couldn't listen to Bob Dylan for almost two years after the break-up finally took. Particularly "It Ain't Me, Babe." He played guitar and we saw Bob together.

And whoever said Fleetwood Mac's "Silver Springs" is completely right. I have to write the lines for anyone who doesn't know the song:

Time cast a spell on you
But you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you
But you would not let me
I'll follow you down
til the sound of my voice will haunt you
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman that loves you

The live version from The Dance is AMAZING. During the time Stevie is singing that song, she's still in love with Lindsey. Watching her perform it and the way she looks at him...it's impossible not to mourn your own lost love.

These cover a wide range or breakups: me breaking up with them, me getting broken up with, me convincing myself to stay broken up with someone, me being broken up with and wanting them back...

1. "Tell Me I Was Dreaming" by Travis Tritt (first heartbreak in 9th grade--nothing like a sad country song to make you even more miserable)

2. "Raining in Baltimore" by Counting Crows (I listen to this when I want to wallow in bad memories, but it's still one of my favorites)

3. "Let Him Fly" by Dixie Chicks (not the only artist to sing this, but this version gave me the courage to say goodbye and stick to my guns)

4. "Your Winter" by Sister Hazel (a guy played this for me after a breakup. I think it's in a movie as a breakup song, too)

5. "Hang" by MB20 (he played this when we said goodbye. we both cried).

This theme fits in perfectly with my cloudy, rain-speckled day. Here are my embarassing breakup songs:
1. "Long Day", Matchbox 20--This song was a huge part of this high school pain-wracked pseudorelationship.
2. "Don't Speak", No Doubt--I know this one's totally cliche, but in this case, my ex-fiance showed up after almost a year apart (he was in the Air Force) to introduce me to his pregnant girlfriend.
3. "Comfortable",John Mayer--after I decided that it was really, really, for reals this time, over with my five year on-again-off-again guy.
4. "Cut Here", The Cure--after a tumultuous three and a half year, let's-just-be-friends-now relationship (we don't talk anymore).
5. "I Saw the Sign", Ace of Base--this is a funny one. I'd been rebounding with this jerk-off, and I suddenly realized that I was wasting my time. I got in the car and drove away. This song was playing when I started the car, and it was perfection.
6. "Parting Gift", Fiona Apple--this is for the breakup that hasn't happened yet.

Dammit - Blink 182
Leaves and Kings - Josh Ritter
There's A Fine, Fine Line - Avenue Q Soundtrack
How Do I live - Trisha Yearwood

All these for one girl. A tough one, but that's almost 10 years in the past now.

And one more - from a different girl - for good measure:

In The Car - Barenaked Ladies ... Ah, youth...

Ooooh, good one.

1. Ben Folds Five--Song for the Dumped

2. The Clarks--Better off Without You

"Late at night you pick up the telephone
Call me up and cry 'cause you're all alone
I don't care
Apologize for taking my cigarettes
Now it's time to feel all the side effects
Missing the life you had"

3. Ani Difranco--Untouchable Face
4. Fiona Apple--Parting Gift
5.Third Eye Blind--Motorcycle Drive By

Runner Ups: Brand New- The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
Reel Big Fish--Where have you been? (I remember liking it a lot in HS, haven't listened to it since...)

Some are breakups and some are just emotionally-sad-moment songs.

1. Only a Dream by EYC (I was 13, in my defense).
2. Congratulations by Blue October.
3. We Might As Well Be Strangers by Keane.
4. Rain by Erase the Grey.

I can't listen to the first one without feeling ridiculously childish and yet remorseful, bleh.

First serious relationship, with fits, starts, fumbles, stumbles, and finally an end. Best songs for the apoplexy of it all:

1. Love Will Break Us Apart Again, Joy Division (a friend described this record "like a cold hand in the dark"; pretty apt).

Next three move from confusion to anger, sometimes in the same song:

2. All This and Nothing, Psychedelic Furs (an absolute gem of a song, perhaps the best the Furs ever recorded, as Richard Butler goes through the inventory of what remains -- "you didn't leave me anything / that I can understand"; starts with a bright acoustic strum and ends in an explosive electric crunch)

3. All Apologies, Nirvana (the boys blow the effing doors off by the coda)

4. I Don't Care About You, Fear (mentioned earlier; one of the first "f*ck you" lyrics I caught on vinyl; not written about a breakup, but captures the lingering spite).

5. Last is the alcohol-dulled but much more poignant reservior of years-later regret, perhaps about a lover, but I like to picture it's a daughter left behind in the relationship:

Sadly Beautiful, The Replacements.

Here it goes:

1) Amber -311 (he was a big 311 fan, and he broke up with me because he loved our mutual friend Amber, who was also a diehard 311 fan. Needless to say, I can't really listen to 311 again)
2) Goodbye to You--Michelle Branch. A song for a different boyfriend, and the only cd around my house at the time was Michelle Branch. I can't listen to it anymore because I still associate Michelle Branch with that boy.
3)Lovefool--The Cardigans. Same boy from #2. He told me this song reminded him of me.
4)A Plain Morning--Dashboard Confessional. Wow, Boy #2 tainted a lot of songs for me.

Some others:
Stellar--Incubus (such a shame--I really liked this song), Screaming Infidelities--Dashboard Confessional, Colorblind---Counting Crows, and pretty much the entire Spiderman 2 soundtrack (Boy from #1 took me to see that and we listened to the soundtrack all summer).

Have any of guys figured out a way to love a breakup song again?
Some of these songs were my favorites until they got tied to my ex-boyfriends. I know that the taintedness of these songs are in my head, but it's really hard to disassociate them from bad breakups.

No apologies for being maudlin, cornball, or unfashionable. These are breakup songs, no points for style.

1. Joey - Concrete Blonde
2. Love Will Come to You - Indigo Girls
3. I Know Him So Well - Chess [concept album]
4. Nobody's on Nobody's Side - "
5. You'll See - Madonna

Perfect Day - Lou Reed

After the break up I listened to it on repeat for hours and just sobbed my eyes out.

In no particular order

1.) Fall Back Down, Rancid
2.) Rearviewmirror, Pearl Jam
3.) Add It Up, Violent Femmes
4.) King of Fools, Social Distortion
5.) Tracks of My Tears, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

- Dusty Springfield / You Don't Have to Say You Love Me (Actually lots of Dusty goes on rotation after a breakup.)
- The Smiths / Last Night I Dreamt that Somebody Loved Me
- Heart / Alone
- Depeche Mode / Love Thieves

OK, these are not all necessarily literally about break-ups, but they are the songs that I listened to a lot after specific breakups.

1. REM: "Everybody Hurts" - I also came down with mono a couple days after that break-up so I really wanted to know I was not alone in the hurting

2. Pearl Jam: "Alive"

3. The Cranberries - "Linger"

4. Sarah McLachlan: the entire Fumbling Toward Ecstasy CD

5. The Reality Bites soundtrack

I didn't date much in high school and I got married in '99 so my songs are all stuck in the 90's when I was in college.

This is so weird because just yesterday, I was thinking about the cd I made for my boyfriend when I broke up with him (waaaay cheesetastic I know but what can I say, the only way I deal with things is through music so I figured he should too). Here's what I put on

1. Jealous Guy (Elliott Smith Cover)

2. See You Soon (acoustic) by Coldplay

3. All Apologies by Nirvana

4. Times Like These by Jack Johnson

5. Last Goodbye by Jeff Buickley

But the songs I listened to the most when I got my heart ripped out of my chest recently were Sad Mood and I'll Come Running Back To You (both by Sam Cooke) and Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. Totally cheated on the under five thing, sorry ;)

1. Drive, Melissa Ferrick (no, this was the song i stopped being able to listen to)
2. Dilate, Ani DiFranco
3. Judth, A Perfect Circle
4. Galileo, The Indigo Girls
5. Rock Star, Hole

apparently when sad i succumb to the cliches of my sexual orientation. thanks for the insight, pajiba!

Time For Me To Fly - REO Speedwagon

Don't Let Him Steal Your Heart Away - Phil Collins

One More Night - Phil again

The Scientist - Coldplay
Warning Sign - Coldplay

I could go on forever....I am a closet sap...coming out!

Green Eyes - Erykah Badu

Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco

And for when I was 15 and "goth":

Something I Can Never Have - NIN

Linger - The Cranberries

The addition of "Add It Up" by the Violent Femmes made me laugh. Well played!

1) "Milk"- Garbage
2) The Cure- "Love Song" (and pretty much the rest of The Cure's catalogue)
3) "22: The Death of All The Romance"- The Dears
4) "Ex-Girlfriend"- No Doubt (how embarrassing is that?)
5) "One Last Time"- HIM

There was a lot of Bic Runga and Depeche Mode in the mix as well, but I couldn't pinpoint any one song in particular.

1. Ben Folds Five: "Song For The Dumped". A great "fuck you!" song if there ever was one.

2. Saves The Day: "Freakish". Listened to this all the damn time after my one and only [thus far in my young life] love and I broke up. Especially the part, "I'll make my way 'cross the frozen sea, beyond the blank horizon, where I can forget you and me and get a decent night's sleep."

3. Pretty much any Fiona Apple song. The woman is well-versed in scorn.

4. Something Corporate: "Globes And Maps". Yeah, I don't dig emo-ey bullshit like that, but in college the song had a significance nonetheless.

5. Colin Hay: "I Just Don't Think I'll Get Over You."

Oh snap, I forgot Stars' "Your Ex Lover Is Dead". Great, great song that another poster mentioned.

Elliott Smith's "Miss Misery" needs a mention as well. Yes, it was in Good Will Hunting, but it's so apropos.

This is a great idea for a comment diversion.. also incredibly bizarre because I just had the idea this morning of making a list of exes/old friends and typing out all the songs I associate with them.

1. "The Moon" by The Microphones.
This song was especially heartbreaking because when we first started dating he would play it for me on his guitar, knowing I really liked the song. One time when he finished I looked at him and said, "Can the lyrics of that song never apply to us?" Of course, they pretty much applied word for word a little over a year later.

2. "Our Way to Fall" by Yo La Tengo.
When I had to admit to myself I didn't feel the same way as when I'd put that song on a mix for him.

3. "Beginning in an Ending" by Against Me!
Fresh out of my super punk rock make out in alleys and wear each other's clothes relationship. Gut-wrenching and terribly accurate.

4. "Romeo & Juliet" by Dire Straits.
First "real" relationship and serious break up. I cried and cried and cried non-stop and was entirely inconsolable. His sister would constantly play this song in the car when we all drove together to Massachusetts one summer. He and I would groan and beg to be allowed to play our music, but after we broke up I could not stop playing it and bawling my eyes out.

5. "Broke (live)" by Modest Mouse.
This is my go-to when things are going shitty in a relationship.

Honorable Mention:
- "About Today" by The National. I've admittedly cried to this countless times.
- "This is Getting Over You" by Alkaline Trio. Screamed this one quite a lot during the angry phase of my first break up.
- "Lover's Spit" by Broken Social Scene. Another "lose your shit" anthem.

1. Walk Away - Ben Harper

2. Both Hands - Ani Di Franco

3. Love Ridden - Fiona Apple

4. Love is Everything - KD Lang (by Jane Siberry)

5. Rain - Patty Griffin

Oh yeah - I forgot Springsteen's "Born to Run" which always reminds me of a guy I grew up down the street from and dated (twice...) in hs. He was one of those wild bad boy types who really just needed to get a motor cycle and a nice bohemian chick and ride the hell out of our small hometown. Instead he married a psycho, divorced the psycho, then joined the army in the middle of a fucking war, probably to get back at the psycho. All before his 20th birthday. Because boys are stupid.

All from my latest pathetic breakup:

"Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan, because even though I knew the relationship was bad and wouldn't go anywhere, I couldn't help myself.

"Army of Me" by Bjork, because he pissed me off making me think I was the one with the problems, when he was the one who was so screwed up and had to make sure everyone knew it.

"I've Forgotten Everything" by Phil Collins, because even though I've put him out of my mind, someone invariably has to mention his name at work and it brings me back to that snivelling pile of goo I was when we broke up (I learned the hard way to never date anyone at work because it rarely ever ends well).

"Ugly Girl" by Fiona Apple, because after we broke up he went running back to his horrible ex-girlfriend and even though I may not be a supermodel, next to her I look like freaking Heidi Klum. The lines "Shes so nice that it makes up for her face, Theres no way, do you have to keep your eyes closed? Do you have to keep the lights down low? Oh I bet you wish you had a blind fold" make me giggle every time and then feel guilty for being so nasty.

1. Love Ridden - Fiona Apple
2. Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin
3. The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore - James Morrison
4. Stay (I Missed You) - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
5. Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell

I just wanted to say "thanks" to my fellow Pajiba readers for mentioning Sufjan Stevens in a previous comment diversion. I bought the Come on Feel the Illinoise CD today and I love it. So amazing.

Somebody That I Used to Know - Elliot Smith

Brings back some old memories -

1 Whippin' Post -- Allman Brothers (Filmore East)
2 Ruby's Arms -- Tom Waits
3. Two more bottles of Wine -- Emmylou Harris
4. An entire Joan Armatrading album -- was it Show Some Emotion? can't remember, but I am sure my roommate from college does, since she had to listen to it with me over and over and supply kleenex...
5. Sweet Jane -- Cowboy Junkies
6. I've got your picture -- Patsy Cline

Oh my first break up it was The entire "Downward Spiral" album and "Fumbling Towards Exctasy" 16 years old and that was my mix tape.

Recently, Ani still gets me through my day

Yay bitterness!

1) Ani DiFranco: Both Hands
2) Barenaked Ladies: Break Your Heart
3) The Magnetic Fields: I don't wanna get over you
4) Matt Nathanson: Church Clothes (or, alternatively, Lost Myself In Search Of You, "because you're stupid and you lie andyou'reawhore..."
5) Rootless Tree -- Damien Rice

God, this is embarrassing.

1. Don't Speak - No Doubt. Shut up, I was 17
2. #1 Crush - Garbage. Shut up, I was 17 still and we'd seen Romeo + Juliet three times together at the cinema. Shut up.
3. Summertime - Janis Joplin. I spent three weeks getting drunk every night to this song after being dumped.
4. Africa - Toto. Yep, after a break up with an African guy. So predictable.
5. Wonderboy - The Kinks. On rotation after a break up because the boy and I had a drunken faux tap number we'd made up to it.

House by Marillion
Aluminum by Barenaked Ladies
Kitchen Mitts by The Disco Biscuits

1. "Where Does the Good Go?" - Tegan and Sara
2. "Take Me or Leave Me" - RENT
3. "Ooh Child" - Nina Simone
4. "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" - Panic! at the Disco (he was a big Panic! fan)

5. "Cannonball" - Damien Rice....all the big break-ups are followed by this one.

1. "how's it going to be" -- third eye blind
2. "now that it's over" -- everclear
3. "what you are" -- audioslave
4. "cold contagious" -- bush
5. "thank me with your hands" -- panthers

obviously, a lot of my worst break-ups occurred during the mid-90s. thank goodness Art Alexakis, Stephan Jenkins, and Gavin Rossdale were there to vent their pain to the world!

A couple of sad-sap ones:

Beatles - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
Mirah - Don't Die in Me

1. "Lover, You Should Have Come Over"/"Last Goodbye"/"Morning Theft" -- The boy nearly ruined Jeff Buckley for me by using the lyrics in away messages, sending me songs, emailing lyrics, etc. It hurt knowing I'd depressed him so, but...I mean, honestly.
2. "You Make Loving Fun" by Fleetwood Mac -- Near the long, drawn-out end, this came on the radio when he left the room for a moment. And I burst into tears.
3. "Nothing Better" by The Postal Service -- Same boy from 1 and 2, except this one made me laugh in hindsight.
4. "Be Still My Heart" by The Postal Service -- Sort of a cheat, as we didn't actually break up. But we were thisclose, and it was playing as I drove to visit him. The exact opposite of how I felt at the time.
5. "Wandering" by Ben Folds -- Again, sort of a cheat. Found myself suddenly bawling as I sang along in my car.

Keep up these comment diversions and there could be quite an interesting book in the offing.

God, how could I forget?

PJ Harvey - Rid of Me, the whole album, but especially the title track. Props to "Dry" and "Missed" as well.

OK, now I'm done, I swear.

Wow, I hate these afternoon comment diversions -I always want to play but I come in too late to read everything :(

Anyhoo.... It will give a measure of how messed up my last relationship was that for the last few months of it I was subtly compiling a playlist on my iPod full of "make the breakup less painful" songs. When it came to end I spent about a day moping and then got over it (as opposed to the toxic month of drinking and not eating the time before... OK yes, I did say the relationship was unhealthy already) but I still listened to the songs. They included:

Now that it's over - Everclear
I'm not cryin for you' - Save ferris
Nothing on but the radio - Alice Band
Counting the days - Goldfinger

Ok, and yes I'll admit it, Strong enough by Cher.

I feel the need to belt out songs when I'm blue, I'm never in the mood for wallowing.

Currently I'm doing the unrequited love thing to the tunes of "Kiss you off" by Scissor Sisters, "She moves in her own way" by the Kooks and "Mistaken" by Save Ferris.

and after i post, of course then i see the "do not add paragraph breaks" notice.

man, i suck.

I usually turn to alcohol rather than music but one sticks out for me; ' Since I don't have you ' - Guns n Roses.

I heart these comment diversions.

So I've ever had just this one boy & we're still together(3yrs yeah yeah I know. Cut me some slack I'm only 17)

But if I was ever to break up with him and it done peacefully or mutually I did go for these:

1. Goodbye's the saddest word- Celine Dion.

2. Summer of '69- Bryan Adams.

3. Be without you- Mary J Blige

4. Chasing cars- Snow Patrol (this song is such a tearjerker for me)

5. Home- Michael Buble.

And if we broke up painfully enough for me to want to forget he ever existed then these:

1. Since you've beeb gone- Kelly Clarkson

2. Enough Crying- Mary J. Blige

3. Shake it off- Mariah Carey

4. Through with love- Destiny's Child.

5. Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne

I hope I never have to experience the pain of Breakup but...

I've done all my dating and breaking up in the past 10 years of my life, and it's all been with... well, guys who were probably fine but not for me and we somehow cultured mutual dependance leading into depression for me and stalking for them. Drawn-out relationships with drawn-out break-up periods lead to lots of over-analyzing and revelatory songs suddenly coming to the radio. And the decade of dating limits my songs. So:

1. "Since U Been Gone" Kelly Clarkson. I don't feel so guilty posting it since many of you have... but that chorus lyric "Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time," applies so well to every guy you break up with and suddenly realize it was what you most needed.
2. "Good Day" the Dresden Dolls. Vindication for every girl doing better than her loser ex. "I'd like to do more than survive, I'd like to rub it in your face!" That is relief, friends.
3. "Sunday Morning" No Doubt. Lame or no, this song will always rock. It's nice to know you can feel helpless and empowered at the same time: "I thought I knew you well... oh well."
4. "Losing A Whole Year" Third Eye Blind. When you've just gotten out of another crappy relationship, it feels like you have indeed lost a year of your life. When they sang, "I remember you and me used to spend the whole goddamned day in bed", I remember my jaw dropping - other people did that, too?
5. "Fighter" Christina Aguilera. I've already humiliated myself here, so why not? "I heard you're goin' round playin' the victim now / But don't even begin feelin' I'm the one to blame / Cause you dug your own grave" I think this song saved my life.

Thanks for the catharsis, folks, and keep sending in the fabulously vindictive tunes. It feels good to say I'm happily married now. Even the embittered can find ones to love!

Changed the Locks by Lucinda Williams. Yeah!

"Anna begins" by Counting Crows (he lent me the album. I didn't give it back!!)

"Landslide" by Smashing Pumpkins

"Anthem for the year 2000" by Silverchair, which really allowed me to get some anger out whilst singing into a hairbrush in my teenage bedroom

That song that goes "Don't tell me what to do, and don't tell me what to say" that they sing in First Wives Club. I walked around my school singing it allowed following a break-up with a really possessive boy (actually, I started singing it whilst I was trying to get the nerve to break up with him: and I would hum it in his presence - Woohoo - teenage rebellion!!)

Angel Flying too close to the ground.
-willie nelson

blech.

Weird, I've broken up with a bunch of girls, but there is only one of them that I remember a song with, my high school girlfriend that absolutely crushed my soul when she dumped me.

"The Day I Tried to Live" by Soundgarden.

I listened to it over and over by myself and I think that's why I can't stand Soundgarden to this day.

1) Please Remember Me- Tim McGraw: 2nd boyfriend, he loved country and hence I listened to it a lot.

2) Crestfallen- Smashing Pumpkins: 1st boyfriend in high school, loved the album beforehand, but afterwards, I would tear up hearing it...yikes...

"sexed up" - Robbie Williams is the ideal breakup song. The lyrics leave little to the imagination and you can shout or sob while listening to it. For me it was not so much of a break up song, but the cause for terrible row that ended with us "having to talk". It was a tough break up ,but I can't help but like the song.

Its still early now but you got me thinking:

My Ultimate Tearjerker:
Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins -- owww, talk about mourning.

On the other hand, perhaps a song that speaks to redemption...Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol...

The first song that came to mind was from my first ever real relationship. We grew up together and he was my cousins best friend so we had to keep it a secret, especially since he was 3 years older than me. I was 16 he was 19. We fell in love and tried the long distance thing after he moved away. It was painful and we tried to make it work but I went looking for drama. Told him that I didn't want him to feel tied down because of me and so a few weeks later he has another girlfriend. THEN when he came back to our hometown we got back together and for those few short days it was bliss and we kept it our little secret - one that I'm now posting on the world wide web. Anyways the song is (drumroll please)
Hands Clean - Alannis Morissette

Fast forward to a few years later and I'm the breaker upper yet again. This time with a very sweeet boy who loved me for no reason at all. We were high school sweethearts and we dated for two year - a lot for high school. Then I went off to University in another province and he stayed behind. On my last day we stood in my empty house and slow danced to this song. It breaks my heart just a little bit everytime I hear it to this day.
Another Lonely Day - Ben Harper

"His Turn to Cry" - Syd Straw
"When Love Was Young" - Iris DeMent
"Nightswimming" - REM
"One" - REM's cover of the U2 song
"Escape is So Simple" - Cowboy Junkies

Mix any of these with alcohol and it's not a pretty sight.

Sorry, I just can't believe I forgot
Breakin' me - Jonny Lang

It was from the first real relationship I had. It was so perfect
"Here I am just half a man standing alone
Feeling like I lost my only chance
At happiness when I let you go"

Ben Folds Five - "Selfless Cold & Composed" was one I listened to ad nauseum when my highschool boyfriend dumped me. I was like an open wound for months, and there was a ridiculous, overly masochistic element to this because Ben Folds Five was a band that he really liked but I wasn't all that into. It was sort of like the aural equivalent of stealing one of his sweaters and wrapping myself in it and crying my adolescent heart out, alone, in the dark.
The Smiths' "I Know It's Over", Tori Amos' "Northern Lad", and Joni Mitchell's "The Last Time I Saw Richard" were three that I wore out when he broke my heart again two years later.

I don't know if this really counts as breakup song material but I cannot listen to Bob Seger. My last boyfriend was this insecure, complacent hick who had a kind of latent man-crush on Bob Seger; he had this fancified idea of what Bob Seger was all about, like some kind of working class, greasy, hard drinking good ol' boy. Anyway I have to change the channel if Bob comes on the radio because my blood starts boiling and I could very well have an aneurism.
And yes, I'm still angry about his passive aggressive bullshit, his attempts to control me with suicide threats, and the money that he owes me.

"Very First Lie" by Material Issue. Sometimes you just know that it's not going to last right from the beginning.

I dated a guy for 4 years when I was a teen, and I knew the end was near when U2's "Please" was already picked out to be my break-up song for him.
"So love is big, is bigger than us,
but love is not what you're thinking of"
Ouchy. I also learned how to play "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" by the Smashing Pumpkins for him; I still play it once in a while when I'm alone practicing piano. No lyrics, but it's a beautifully sad and calming song to me.
Wow, there's sure a lot of Barenaked Ladies in people's lists. ;D I'd have to add "What a Good Boy" by them to my list. It reminds me of when me and my boyfriend were first dating and his crazy ex kept hassling him and meddling. I just wanted him to cut ties with her completely, but he wanted to give her a happy, painless breakup (like there's any such thing?). I love this song, but it reminds me of how sad I was when we were first going out when I should have been so happy instead.
When my parents broke up, Our Lady Peace's "Thief" was always in my head. I really don't like them, but this one song spoke to me at the right moments.
Next we should have relationship songs that make us happy. Sheesh, these memories make me depressed. ;)

Conjure Me - Afghan Whigs
Sucker - Peeping Tom
Sleep to Dream - Fiona Apple
I Don't Wanna Get Over You - Magnetic Fields
and the embarrassing one...
Somebody's Crying - Chris Isaak

Limp - Fiona Apple (First time I was dumped)
Leech - Incubus (After ending a particularly awful relationship)
Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner - Fall Out Boy (I can't even justify this last one - I'll just go hang my head in emo shame)

Well, the only one that comes to mind for me right now is "Bright Lights" by Matchbox 20, which I heard the very night that the only girl I've ever really been in love with broke up with me. I was already miserable, but hearing that song (which is basically a story of "She left, but I really would love for her to come back") really made it hit pretty fucking hard (excuse me). I've had plenty of time since then, but I still can't hear that song now without my mind going there...

1. Lust for Life (Iggy Pop)

That fixes everything

When I was in college and it was still exciting that CD players allowed you to put a song on repeat (which I'm sure my dorm-mates loved) I listened to

Fall at your Feet - Crowded House

I had professed a 4 year long crush/love on one of my closest friends in high school only for him to say, "You never date - I thought you were a lesbian." Turns out I didn't date b/c I was so hung up on him. So, it's more unrequited love than break-up. But I suspect it would work in either situation.

Whoops, just read BFD's post. I wasn't trying to a Fall Out Boy-hating, I'm-more-emo-than-you type douchebag, honest. No judgment on the break up songs diversion.

Brian, compliment or no? Couldn't tell. Anyways, the reason I decided to get a tattoo of that lyric is because it signifies much more to me than just a woman leaving; it really captures my entire state of mind. I'm always leaving, travelling, I can never be tied down in one area. And the mythic West, well, I think that's what it stands for, for me. Nick Cave just happened to sing it in the most heartbreaking song ever, and I love Nick Cave, so...

I'm actually more of a whole album listener when it comes to break up songs, so I'm just choosing a particular song from an album:

1). Two-headed boy- Neutral Milk Hotel. I actually listen to this album during every break-up. It's all-purpose.
2). Gumboots- Paul Simon. "You don't think you can love me, but I think you can..." gosh, I was needy. no wonder he dumped my ass.
3). Dead End- the Format. This is an awesome break up album. It's sad AND you can dance to it.
4). Trouble- Cat Stevens. Harold and Maude is awesome and doesn't have any of the crappy Cat Stevens songs on the soundtrack.
5). Anthrax- Gang of Four. This really is the best break up song of all time. It beats "Graceland" for goodness sakes.

Raging infidelities--Dashboard confessional

He used to joke that my hair really was everywhere...oh and he also cheated on me like it was his job.

My first Pajiba comment ever! I love this topic.

Anyway, I've seen quite a few great songs already, but no one has mentioned my favorite break-up song:

"You Made a Fool of Me" - Meshell Ndegeocello.

It's a great "how could you do this to me?" song.

I kind of organize mine into my own personal stages of grief model, which I will spare you, but here are some highlights from the mid-late 90s when I was quite young and my relationship activity was at its peak:

"I Shall Believe" / Sheryl Crow. Fell asleep to this night after night after breaking up with my first serious boyfriend.

"Don't Speak" / No Doubt. Heard this on the radio waking up one morning and just though... yeah. I won't apologize for having liked the song at the time.

"Johnny Sunshine" / Liz Phair. I will always love the hyperbole of this song. Good for those wry/angry/cynical moments.

"Good Enough" / Sarah MacLachlan. I cried and cried my poor little 17-year-old heart out to this.

"A Long December" / Counting Crows. Another relationship gone wrong. Few tears, just reminded me of the night we met and it kind of stuck as a breakup song. A downer without the drama.

"The Doughnut Song" / Tori Amos. Edging towards acceptance but still pissed. Helpful (or maybe not) that I could also play this on the piano.

"Brand New Day" / Sting. So dorky, but I broke up on a New Year's Eve and this song had strange inspirational power right at that time.

Forgot -- Leaving New York -- REM

Perfect line
"It's easier to leave
than to be left behind..."

SO true.

People need to stop apologizing for less than cool choices....guard down, folks...

"Disintegration" - The Cure. That whole CD was like morphine for me after my high school girlfriend broke up with me, but the actual song is also excellent.

Oooh! I've got another one:

"Dry Your Eyes Mate" - The Streets

Feist: Lonely Lonely

It was my first and only breakup (so far). I felt really bad for dumping him, but it had to be done.

My new break-up song is definitely "Cup of Coffee" by Garbage. Sample lyric: "I smoke your brand of cigarettes and pray that you might give me a call." Love it.

'run' by snow patrol. It was playing in the car after i dumped my first boyfriend (two years), and now i can't listen to it without feeling ill/guilty, just like i can't chew peppermint wrigley's extra because that's what he tasted of.

also, 'samson' by regina spektor, for those days when you feel like no one will ever love you again.

'song for the dumped' by ben folds, when you feel slightly less suicidal.

Late on the come up, as usual, but here's my two cents:

1. "Trouble" by the Jayhawks
"Trouble...that's what we had...and everything that goes around, comes around like a bittersweet lament"
That's for my current boy, during all the god-I'm-REALLY-gonna-leave-you-this-time times we've had. Still together and truckin' though...you make me nuts but I love you!

2. "Rearviewmirror" Pearl Jam
"I gather speed from you fucking with me....Once and for all, I'm far away..."
My first love couldn't keep his hands in his pockets or his dick in his pants. His loss, in my opinion. And even though it hurt like a thorn in the ass at the time, I'm glad I learned about cheating cads then; saved me lotsa time later on.

3. "Desperado" the Eagles
"You better let somebody love you before it's too late"
Typical misunderstood bad boy loser who hit on all of my friends still in the area after I left for college. I hope he's at the bottom of the Bay, personally, but this song still makes me sad when I hear it.

4. "Linger" the Cranberries
See #2. Asshat!!

5. "Sometimes Salvation" the Black Crows
"To lessen my troubles, I stopped hanging out with vultures and empty saviours like you...I wish had a nickel for every miracle you easily tricked me in to"
Not so much for a boy but a friend I loved dearly who really fucked me up. Man. Sometimes those hurt more than losing a lover does, really.

Erlack...never posted before, but this one drove me to think back to full high school/college heartbreak mode. However, could be that I think too much about specific lines and not the entire content of the song. But that doesn't hold true for all of my selections. There is something to be said for getting in the car after and hearing that one line...

"Simple Man" CSNY
"As Is" Ani DiFranco
"I'd Die Without You" Oh God, in Eigth Grade, all his curly dark hair... my docksiders...
"Norweigan Wood" Beatles
"Never There" Cake
"Elderly Lady Behind the Counter in a Small Town" Pearl Jam

1. "knife blood nightmare" by aiden
I love the feeling of revenge, and reminds me of killing my gf's new bf =). "she said live young and leave a wake of beauty is all i ever could have asked, should have asked of you. and i won't forget to write you when i get this soon, as you'll be lying dead from stab wounds to the neck and chest again"
2. "What Went Wrong?" by blink-182
Sorrowful, sad. really spoke to me
3."Stupid Kid" by The Alkaline Trio
Kind of a nice "fuck you, your loss bitch."
"remeber when i said i love you? well forget it, i take it back. i was just a stupid kid back then. i take back every word the i said"
4."for what reason?" by Death Cab for Cutie
The epitamy of all im hurt and crying, and cutting, abd pissed off at you, i hate you and love you song... i think
"brace yourself, I'm bent with bitterness"
5."Blackheart" by Slipknot
Dirty, violent, vulgar, vengance filled song about unfaithful lovers leaving you.
"I should have known better then to trust you, FUCK YOU!"
6."Bulimic" by The Used
Helped me realize that it's her loss, and i treated her like a princess.
"From the way that you acted to the way that i felt it, it wasn't worth my time. and now it's sad cause what i miss wasn't that good to begin with."
7."Play Crack the Sky" by Brand New
Beautiful song. Relating a relationship to a ship. The guy is doing everything he can to keep it from sinking, but the girl is letting it die.
"What they call love, is a risk, cause you'll always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own."
8."Screaming Infidelities" by Dashboard Confessional
Makes you feel like shit. just wanna cry everytime i listen to it. beautiful song, beautiful voice, bravo ::claps hands::
"Missing your laugh, how did it break, and when did your eyes begin to look fake."
9."Maybe" by Secondhand Serenade
Most SS songs are about break ups and such but this one i love. Beautiful guitar part, and a voice that can get real, real high.
10."I need you" by The Beatles
One of my all time favorite bands, often siad to have meaningless poppy lyrics. just fucking listen to them. omce you really notice you can just feel the sorrow, the misery, the pain.
"Come on back to me, I'm lonely as can be. I need you."

"Boy from Tupelo" - Emmylou Harris

"I Want You" - Elvis Costello

"Good Morning Heartache" - Billie Holiday

"Last Call" - Elliott Smith

Let's just say that I dated someone who was perfectly described by the following lyrics:

You're a crisis, You're an icicle, You're a tongueless talker, You don't care what you say, You're a jaywalker, And you just walk away...

And finally, for the break up from my first love:

"Blue" (or the whole album, really) by Joni Mitchell

Wow... so many! Alright, my nerdiness is on full display with this one.

1. "You Oughtta Know" - Alanis Morisette
2. "Control" - Poe
3. "Come Pick Me Up" - Ryan Adams
4. "Take Me" - Edwin McCain
5. "Why They Call It Fallin'" - Lee Ann Womack

That's the best five after narrowing it all down (I guess I'm a serial breaker-upper according to Pajiba).

Jewel - Foolish Games
Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U
Lisa Loeb - You Say
BareNakedLadies - Good Boy
U2 - Who's gonna ride your wild horses?

God, I'm glad those times are over. Yeesh.

How could I forget?

"I Want to break Free" Queen

"Hey Jupiter" Tori Amos

Brandi Carlile- What Can I Say (Oh no, what can I say/ I'm so sad since you went away/time, time, is ticking on me/alone is the last place I wanted to be)

Damien Rice- The Blower's Daughter

Julie Roberts- Wake Up Older (Oh the things lovers do when it's done/find a cool bottle, or a warm shoulder/wake up older, and try to move on)

Lucero- Slow Dance (I would forget you/if I only could/think about anything else)

Dashboard Confessionals- Screaming Infidelities (I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak/ And this bottle of beast is taking me home)

Blues Traveler- The Mountains Win Again (If you think I've given up on you, you're crazy/and if you think I don't love you, well, then you're just wrong)

Lucinda Williams- Metal Firecracker- (All I ask, Don't tell anybody the secrets I told you)

Neko- These Days (I've had a lover/don't think I'll take another These Days)

Ryan Adams- Oh My Sweet Carolina-(what compels you to go/ oh my sweet disposition/may it one day, carry you home)

Colin Hay-I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You (Without you here/there's always less to say)

Jeff Buckley's-Hallelujah (Maybe there's a god above/but all I ever learned from love/was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya')

Jeff Buckley- Last Goodbye (This is our last embrace/must I dream and always see your face?)

A comprehensive whisky drinking, nostalgia inducin', cathartic Southern compilation (this mix, or either the entire "Heartbreaker" CD by Ryan Adams.)

Ooh, I didn't mean "Factory Showroom" by TMBG, I meant "Then: The Earlier Years". I know no one else cares but it was niggling at me.

And "Boat of Car" remains an all-time classic.

1. Mr. Brightside- the Killers
2. Bed of Roses- Bon Jovi
3. Rootless Tree- Damien Rice
4. Breaking the Girl- Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. 11 am- Incubus

No one said they had to be great, or even the individual artist's greatest...right?

Bright Eyes: One Foot in Front of the Other (aka Landlocked Blues).

Took me quite some time to listen to it dry-eyed.

All related to the same break-up: Counting Crows: Colourblind, Killers: Mr Brightside, Roxy Music: Oh Yeah.

Frack, I need a moment.

Burn - Ray Lamontagne (The most devastating break-up song ever)

Hey Ya! - Outkast (The happiest break-up song ever)

Currently heartbroken, I had to stop reading the comments lest I burst into tears.

Anyway, going by my 'recently played' list on my iPod, a sampling of my breakup songs would be:

"Jamais" - Charlotte Gainsbourg ["never fall in love with a body double...never even scratched the surface, now you're picking through my bones."]

"Dark Globe" - Syd Barrett ["Won't you miss me? Wouldn't you miss me at all?"]

"Go Fishing/Dunroamin Duncarin Dunlivin" - Roger Waters ["One weekend a friend from the east - rot his soul! - stole your heart..."]

"Two Promises" - Sunny Day Real Estate ["He thinks, 'I gave her my heart, she tasted my soul, now she's gone again...'"]

"Bitterblue" - Cat Stevens ["I gave my last hope to you, don't hand it back to me, Bitterblue. My Bitterblue..."]

first real love - Hey, Jupiter - Tori Amos
I used to drive around for hours with this on repeat, crying and trying to find the courage to finish the thing.

worst breakup ever - in honesty, I avoided most sad songs like the plague, because in addition to not sleeping or eating, I was already in a state where I would cry over anything, but the one where I just couldn't help myself was:
Delicate - Damien Rice
guilty by association with this same breakup is:
You're Beautiful - James Blunt -- it was in heavy rotation at the time, and everytime it came on he would tell me it was true.

Babylon - David Gray this reminds me more of a relationship that never really went anywhere than a breakup, but every time I hear it, it still brings back that time where I was so confused, and didn't even know if I should feel sad or not

I can only think of albums rignt now.

Of course..."Dilate" Ani Difranco

"excile in guyville" Liz Phair

The top five I found in a ten-minute search of my playlists (plus a Magnetic Fields song that I couldn't leave off). Number one is really the best breakup song ever.

1. Good Fucking Bye - Matt Skiba and Kevin Seconds (of the Alkaline Trio)
2. Untouchable Face - Ani DiFranco
3. Jaked on Green Beers - The Alkaline Trio ("It's been a while since I really spent time with you, wish I could take back those times that I had")
4. Who Am I Foolin' - Cheryl Wheeler
5. I'm Sorry I Love You - The Magnetic Fields
6. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

I've only had two boyfriends, and I'm still with the second. I didn't really have a "song" at the time for the first breakup, but in retrospect I feel that it would have to be:

Incubus "Just a Phase"
as in, Who are you? When will you be through?
Yea it's just a phase...it will be over soon
Yea it's just a phase

We were so wrong for each other... I broke up with him.

Mine are more the "twist the knife" variety :)

- Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams
- Haligh, Haligh, a lie, Haligh by Bright Eyes
- Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap
- You Have Killed Me by Morrissey
- Needle in the Hay by Elliott Smith

The loss of a love who loved indie rock more than me was so dramatic. haha

"Raglan Road" by Van Morrison. (I was dating a Dubliner and walked down Raglan Road and Grafton Street just about every day.)

Same guy, with more distance: "No Regrets" by Emmylou Harris:

I know your leaving is too long overdue
For far too long I've had nothing new to show to you
Thru dry eyes I watched your plane
Fade off west of the moon
And it felt so strange to walk away alone
No regrets no tears goodbye
Don't want you back we'd only cry again
Say goodbye again

The hours that were yours echo like empty rooms
The thoughts we used to share I now keep alone
I woke last night and spoke your name
Not thinking you were gone
And it felt so strange to lie awake alone
No regrets no tears goodbye
Don't want you back we'd only cry again
Say goodbye again

Our friends have tried to turn my nights to day
Strange faces in your place can't keep the ghosts away
Just behind the darkest hour just before dawn
It still feels so strange to lead my life alone
No regrets no tears goodbye
Don't want you back we'd only cry again
Say goodbye again

Oh, the drama.

"Drive" - The Cars
"High and Dry" - Radiohead

...The guy who I was going to follow to London and I used to listen to these two songs on repeat when we were drunk. However, because I'm not graduating from college this semester, he broke it off. I still get pretty morose when I hear them, but can rejoice in the fact that he's going to be working 80-hour work weeks while I get to enjoy the Colorado sunshine.

1) Irreplacable - Beyonce It was on the radio all the time and oddly helped me through it
2)I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Rait Because you just can't
3) Freshman - The Verve Pipe my first love, we dated from the summer of 8th grade to homecoming my sophomore year
4) Landslide "I've been afraid of changin cuz I've built my life around you..." come on how perfect is that

Only one comes to mind...

"Don't Change Your Plans" - Ben Folds Five

Arrrgggghhhh...I hate women. No, I love women. Please some woman go on a date with me.

"desperate ain't lonely" -- whiskeytown (for the sad/crazy phase)

"don't stay" -- linkin park (for the angry phase)

**not like I'm able to move through these phases in an orderly fashion -- I generally rattle back and forth between them, often with the help of some vodka...

Thankfully, it's been a few years since I've had to seriously contemplate breakup songs again...

"Truce" - The Dresden Dolls - absolutely perfect for those knock-down, drag out, I never want to see you again endings...

"Faded Flowers" - Shriekback - This effectively summed up the end of my marriage. No hysterionics (from my side), no big explosions, but it was well and truly done.

"Let's Go To Bed" - The Cure - Dedicated to my first girlfriend and the weeks of bitterness, shaking and anger that I went through after my Junior year...

aw frick. these things always get me, and i'm the queen of emo sappy then totally angry bitchy breakups. didn't help that my boyfriend and i were on again-off again for six years, nearly got engaged twice, almost got married, i got pregnant but then miscarried, and he finally broke it off with me and went after another tall, blonde-haired, zaftig english major whose name started with a b and had the same damn birthday as mine. type much? meh. anyway, songs:

strangers again --ari hest
goodbye to you --michelle branch
lonely --britney (oh you laugh, but it's a fucking badass breakup song)
either way --guster
konstantine --something corporate
dreaming with a broken heart --john mayer
anna --gunnar madsen
please don't tell her --jason mraz
leave --matchbox 20
in terms of love & healing side --shedaisy

there are scads more, but those are the ones that come to mind most vividly right now. le sigh.

I will remember you- Sarah Mclachlan

not a real break-up, but every time I here it it reminds me of my first unrequited love, in middle school, and brings me back that bittersweet nostalgic feeling

Also...

"How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore" - Prince

no doubt - don't speak
madonna - frozen
madonna - the power of goodbye
garbage - #1 crush
aimee mann - wise up

when it's your fault:
she sends me blue valentines
though i try to remain at large
they're insisting that our love
must have a eulogy
why do i save all this madness
here in the nightstand drawer
there to haunt upon my shoulders?
baby i know
i'd be luckier to walk around everywhere i go
with this blind and broken heart
that sleeps beneath my lapel
she sends me blue valentines
to remind me of my cardinal sin
i can never wash the guilt
or get these bloodstains off my hands
and it takes a whole lot of whisky
to make these nightmares go away
and i cut my bleedin' heart out every night
and i'm gonna die just a little more
each st valentine's day
don't you remember that i promised i would write you these blue valentines?

when it's his:
i've got this dress
i'm hiking it around this waste of laughter
slow dance alone with no one
to the sound of 4 hands clapping
congratulations to you both
i'm sure somewhere you're happy
if there's a moral to this story
then i wish you'd show me
i made a word to give this state a name-
this endless game of guess-
i call it sluttering
it means as little as your little test
you are your worst revenge
your very means- they have no ends
this is the story you won't tell the kids we'll never have
if you hear this song a hundred times
it still won't be enough
if you hear this song a hudred times
it still won't be enough

when it just don't matter:
they're playing love songs on your radio tonight
i don't get those songs on mine-
you keep fucking up my life

Nine years together, and he left me for someone else. This was what I listened to when I still believed it was all "her" fault:

The Dixie Chicks "You Were Mine"

...Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night / And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name / What Right Does She Have To Take You Away / When For So Long, You Were Mine...

1. "In The Rough"-Anna Nalick (Good getting-over-it song)
2. "Blind"-Lifehouse (AMAZING song.)
3. "I Ain't Missing You"-John Waite
4. "What Hurts The Most"-Rascal Flatts (I cried every time I heard it on the radio until I bought the CD and listened to it over and over to make myself immune.)
5. "Wasting My Time"-Default (Good angry song)
6. "Plenty"-Sarach McLachlan

"Debaser" - Pixies

We got involved toward the end of my marriage, and we semi-dated for 6 months after the end. He was there for me like no one else could be, and would have been even if we hadn't been f--- er, involved ...
Then he disappeared. Literally.
He reappeared 4 months later, copping to a huge meltdown and a subsequent bipolar disorder diagnosis. Hooray!

But to the music: he's a huge Pixies fan and I'm a film school nerd/snob, so I show him "Un Chien Andalou", which is where that line comes from in the song. He didn't know the backstory.

Even now, I can't hear "Debaser" without getting a slight catch in my throat. I was demolished at the time, but now it's bittersweet, a 'what might have been'

This is definitely one of most compelling posts to me in Pajiba! history. All kinds of songs and feelings are resurfacing, I'm neglecting my current girlfriend (for shame, I know), and my driving is getting inaccurate. I've got to find a more interesting day job to take my mind of this.

Anyway, some more songs I relate to my big break:

Death Cab for Cutie: The New Year (she dumped me mid-January, just after some heavy resolutioning and exchanging jewelry; it mixes the sadness very well with creation of new possibilities)

Spiritualized: Broken Heart (can't still play it after all these years)

Hot Chip: Boy From School (as an afterthought; we started out too young)

keep 'm coming, misery loves co.

1. Bob Dylan - Don't Think Twice, It's Alright
2. Dire Straits - Romeo & Juliet
3. Nickel Creek - Somebody More Like You & Can't Complain
4. Ani Difranco - Untouchable Face & Superhero
5. Fiona Apple - Paper Bag

Yes, I cheated on two of those by including more than one song, but in both cases, I was just stuck on that particular album at the time, so I included the ones that spoke to me most.

Ryan Adams--that guy can wail/miserable howl but good.
-"Starting to Hurt"
-"She Wants To Play Hearts"
Jill Sobule--"I Kissed A Girl."
I'm straight, but just singing a song about boys not being the answer is so cathartic. (I'm female).
"Here Comes The Sun"--any song that has the refrain of 'it's all right' is good for a breakup.
And when I need something to take my mind off it all--well, the Grey Album, of course.

Most of these helped me get over my first real love, who I found out was cheating on me with a mutual acquaintance.

Sleep to Dream- Fiona Apple
Perfect for when you're getting over the hurt and replacing it with lots and lots of anger

Baby Bitch- Ween
I love this song. About a girl, but it fit my ex-boyfriend head to toe. No one knew what a horrible guy he could be because he was so good at playing the hero and it killed me. This made it better

Bright Eyes, of course, has some incredibly emotional and angry ones. This one was one of my favorites, it's really bitter and some of the lines are exactly what I thought of when I found out about "The Other Woman"... Unfortunately about a girl again haha:

The Calendar Hung Itself
"Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning
when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly
from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school
with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps
to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck
is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences
I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile
there's a thousand more
you won't ever see
but must hold inside yourself eternally..."

"have you ever" Brandy
"so sick" Ne-yo
"cryin" Aerosmith
"Tear drops on my guitar" Taylor Swift
"Two weeks in hawii" Hellogoodbye

Heard this the other day and couldn't help adding it here. "Genius" by Warren Zevon, the thinking man's break up song:

"Did you light the candles? Did you put on "Kind of Blue?"
Did you use that Ivy League voodoo on him, too?
He thinks he'll be alright but he doesn't know for sure
Like every other unindicted coconspirator"

and

"When you dropped me and you staked your claim
On a V.I.P. who could make your name
You latched on to him and I became
A minor inconvenience
Your protégé don't care about art
I'm the one who always told you you were smart
You broke my heart into smithereens
And that took genius"

Good stuff.

For some reason, I listened to a burned mix of Bush songs over and over and over again. In the dark.

Songs that got heavy play: The one from the American Werewolf in Paris soundtrack.

I had one breakup so bad that it required two full albums. The Cure's Paris and Ani Difranco's Dilate. They're all I listened to for ages and ages.

1. You Oughta Know-Alanis Morissette (First High School Breakup.) Dumped for another girl.
2. Adam and Eve- Ani Difranco. Rough break-up. Yet again, dumped for another girl.
3. Free Bird- Lynyrd Skynyrd. About 3 months ago or so. 5 year break-up.

Blur's "Coffee & TV"

It made me feel better, thouh I was the one who'd done the leaving.

Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

Aerosmith - "Dream On" (actually came on the radio as he drove me home after breaking my heart)

Elliott Smith - "Waltz #2", "Happiness" (same boy, two break-ups)

Fiona Apple - "Parting Gift" (chorus is brilliant: "oh you silly, stupid pastime of mine...you were always good for a rhyme. And from the first to the last time, the signs said stop. But we went on, whole-hearted; it ended bad, but I love what we started")

Most of them are already listed but....

"Tequila Sunrise" -- Eagles -- almost all of the non-hits from Hotel California, i.e. Wasted Time, Victim Of Love, & Try And Love Again

"She's Gone" "Rich Girl" -- Hall and Oats followed by "Abandoned Luncheonette"

"Tuesday's Gone" -- Lynyrd Skynyrd

"Black Cow" -- Steely Dan

"It's Over" -- Boz Scaggs -- entire Silk Degrees Album

"There's Never Been Any Reason" -- Head East

oh gee golly my latest boyfriend and i broke up about 2 1/2 weeks ago after being together on and off for a year and 1/2... well anyways it was over the little petty things that kept growing and growing.... so a couple songs that helps me stay at peace and mind while we are supposedly getting back together which now it is to the point where i would take it or leave it... hmm he wants me to move down to where he lives it is a good 90 miles away from all of my friends and family and i told him i would think about it... well last night i called him to tell him that i decided that i would move down there and he was totally rude and disrespectful so i think i am finally putting that chapter of my life to rest... it was his idea for me to come down there and it feels like i give and give more than him and it wear s me out.... sorry if this is kinda scatter-brained ive been really sick so i am on a bunch of crap and no sleep...

anyways here is the list

BARENAKED LADIES- CALL AND ANSWER

JO DEE MESSINA- MY GIVE A DAMNS BUSTED

SISTER HAZEL- YOUR WINTER

AMANDA MARSHALL- LET IT RAIN

SUGAR CULT- WORST DECEMBER

..... and for this next couple they were for my bestfriend who i fell in love with... you know that guy who made you laugh when you wanted to cry and curse the world, and the guy that when you thought you couldnt be any happier than you are at your happiest but then even tops that and makes you still believe fairytales still could come true?... well that was my best friend hmmm we are going to call him tim... well tim went into the military so he could try and make his life better than it was going (granted i loved the boy but he wasnt the most clean cut boy) and he would call me and write telling me that he missed me and loved me then on his first leave to come home he revealed to me that he got a girl pregnant and he was getting a lot of shit from his family about how he had to do the right thing and marry the girl.... he did i was beyond crushed and i am not going to lie i am still alittle bit to this day but yeah anyways to make a long story short we both still care about each other and still best friends he is in iraq right now and there isnt a day that goes by that i dont worry about him

ANYWAYS THE LIST

VEREVEPIPE- BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY

CAROLYN DAWN JOHNSON- SO COMPLICATIED

WALLFLOWERS- THE DIFFERENCE

and then there is always the cheaters that came into our lives and gave you such a smoothe line of bullshit making you feel so amazing by complimenting you non stop and being naive at that time (19 and very sheltered growing up) thought that was the boy you were going to marry and then on fine day everything kinda comes together the little pieces of the puzzle that you didnt pay much mind to at the time...

KELLY CLARKSON- NEVER AGAIN (i heard this song the other day and even though this breakup happened 2 years ago it think it fits really well)

SILVERSTEIN- SMASHED TO PIECES

DASHBOARD- SAINT AND THE SAILOR

Lots o' different songs, for lot's o' different reasons:

First, there are 2 albums (remember them?) that got me through a couple of bad break-ups:

"Rotting Pinata" by Sponge (especially the songs "Molly" and "Drownin'"), and

"Gentlemen" by Afghan Whigs

As for songs that are break-up related for me, there's:

Positively Fourth Street - Bob Dylan
Mr. Brightside - The Killers (got to live the scenario in the song right when it was really popular)
Don't Want to Know if You're Lonely - Husker Du
Dammit - Blink 182
Far Behind - Candlebox
Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms

Ahh, good times....

So my boyfriend/partner/husband of 16 years came home one night and out of the blue says "I met someone 3 weeks ago and I'm leaving." No fighting, no build-up of tension, no warning. What's a girl to do? This one went CD shopping (obviously before the rampant infestation of iPods). I had a 50 disc player at the time - I came home and swapped out 10 CDs I was tired of hearing, put my 10 new shiny ones in the player, and hit shuffle. A couple of nights later, I'm hanging out w/my friends in our MMORPG (it's guild night!) when a song started playing. The beat crept over me like a blanket and it felt so... calming. I had no idea what it was, and I wasn't even aware of how intensely I was listening to it, until it ended. The player clicked, and a different CD started. I brbed out of the game and ran over to the stereo. I knew I'd never heard the song before, so it had to be one of the new ones. I flipped through the stack of cases and picked the likely candidate. It took me a few minutes to find its slot inside the player, then I started at the beginning, listening to a few seconds of each track. When I found it, I stood in front of my stereo and listened to it again all the way through. For that 10 minutes there was nothing except me, that bassline, and his voice. When it finished again, I hit shuffle and went back to my game. For weeks afterward, I listened to it constantly. I took the CD to work and ripped it there. On one particularly bad night, I even set the third track to repeat and slept to it. I did manage to listen to the rest of the album at some point, and it's great, but there was something about "Spiders (Kidsmoke)" that really hit me. Maybe it was just Jeff Tweedy crooning "It's good to be alone" over and over, while I was dealing with being alone for the first time. Ever. I firmly believe that song healed cracks in my soul.

Love this thread! Glad to know I'm not the only bitter ex out there. These are a few songs that have seen me through dark hours. . .

1. Carrion - Fiona Apple
"My feel for you boy is decaying right in front of me like the carrion of a murdered prey. And all I want is to save you honey, or the strength to walk away." It's perfect for that stage where you wish the person would come to their senses, but you know you have no choice but to accept that it's over.

2. The Kill - 30 seconds to mars
"What if I wanted to fight, beg for the rest of my life? What would you do? You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you. . .I am finished with you! Look in my eyes, you're killing me, all I wanted was you"
This song makes me think of how it feels when a cowardly person doesn't have the decency to break up with you and instead takes the avoidance route, hoping you'll take the hint.

3. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
"Oh baby don't you know I suffer? Oh baby can you hear me moan? You caught me under false pretenses,
How long before you let me go?" I LOVE the song itself, the title is awesome and the beat is kind of melodic

4. Revenga - System of a Down
"My sweet revenge will be yours for the taking, it's in the making baby." It describes all the mean and crazy thoughts you have towards the person who hurt you. . .nice fantasies when you're extremely mad

5. Trigger Happy Jack - Poe
"He underestimates my mind, I know he's messing with my head, my only weakness is I can't believe the guy could be entirely dead. You can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being." Who's more psycho than the dumper? :)

6. Thks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
"Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great. He tastes like you only sweeter." The whole relationship wasn't bad. There were happy times. But eventually you realize it wasn't so great anyway. Amazing and catchy song.

7. P5shng Me A*wy (remix on ReAnimation and Live in Texas albums)- Linkin Park
"This is the last smile that I'll fake for the sake of being with you. I've tried, like you, to do everything you wanted to. This is the last time I'll take the blame for the sake being with you. The sacrifice of hiding in a lie. The sacrifice is never knowing why I stay when you just push away? No matter what you see, you're still so blind to me. Reverse psychology is failing miserably, it's so hard to be left all alone. Telling you is the only chance for me, there's nothing left but to turn and face you. When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see, nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me."
The original version is cool too: "Why I never walked away, why I played myself this way, now I see your testing me pushes me away."
When you feel like a bonehead for wasting your time with a non-worthy person.

8. Coldhearted - Paula Abdul. Go ahead and laugh, but the lyrics are classic: "He's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes, uh-oh, he's been telling lies. He's a loverboy at play, girl, he don't play by rules. Girl, don't play the fool now."

9. Waste - Smash Mouth
"When I was carrying you it seems I've tripped and I've fallen. Don't want no one to ache, oh to be drunk and forgetful. To get out of this unscathed, oh to be free and unhuman. Some may say I love to let a good thing go to waste. . .
I'm mopping up the floor from messy recipes of romance." I like to think that this is how the ex feels now, realizing he let a good thing go to waste.

10. I Write Sins, Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco
"I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a godd*** door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality." The beat never gets old and it's fun to sing along too.

Well that's gonna be easy since i am enjoying the post break-up period right now.
1. Mong gei ta - Shirley Kwan (means "forget him in cantonese)
2. Only you - The Flying Pickets
(Both are played in an excellent movie by Wong Kar Wai)
3. The Rolling Stones - Tell me
4. Ben Folds - Gone
5. The Beatles - Real Love (hope, hope...)
When my first serious relationship ended a few years ago, i kept listening to The Cure's Seventeen Seconds ONLY all day long.

Getting through my first big break-up, and lots of the above responses have helped me a lot, so I thought I'd contribute as well:
1. Why- Annie Lennox
2. I'm Doing Fine- Colin Hay
3. The Scientist- Coldplay
4. Cannonball- Damien Rice
5. Simple Man- Graham Nash
6. Waiting for my real life to begin- Colin Hay
7. Any Day Now- Missy Higgins
8. Time- Ben Folds
9. Linger- The Cranberries
10. All Will be Well- The Gabe Dixon Band

Jack Johnson--Cocoon

Jason Mraz--You and I Both

Billy Joel--My Life

Everclear--Hater

Everclear--I Will Buy You A New Life

Rich Hardesty--Never Wanna Fucking See You Again

hm.. thats all i can think of right now.

Never leave your heart alone - Butterfly Boucher (Amazing. It's so sad, but kind of beautiful in a way. Hard to explain).

My Interpretation - Mika (For the Fuck-you phase)

Grace Kelly - Mika (The perfect dance around your house and scream your face off, break up song).

Flying High - Jem (For unrequieted love, basically).

Erase-Rewind - The Cardigans (For that phase where you just WISH you could go back and change something, but you know you can't).

Set the fire to the third bar - Snow Patrol (Just...depressing).

She Hates me - Puddle of Mud (Made me laugh through a breakup. I'm a girl, but hell. It worked fine).

Passive - A Perfect Circle (Possibly a favourite. Soemthing about it... really helped me in my last breakup - "You fucking disappoint me." Pretty straightforward, really.)

4 in the morning - Gwen Stefani (Not bad, not bad)

Makes me Wonder - Maroon 5 (Very catchy, and nice and blunt. Another, dance around the house laughing and crying song)

if you are in my boat, and happen to be in that limbo land between breaking up and being together here are some songs to help you get through. Especially if all you really want is for it to be over.

- slow dancing in a burning room - john mayer
- sometimes love just ain't enough - patty smyth
- goodbye to you - michelle branch
- another lonely day - ben harper
- i wonder - chris isaak
- water runs dry - boyz II men
- let him fly

1. Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh - Bright Eyes... (gets a good angle on anger and lets it out without being too mush)

2. Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5 (gosh darn amzing for a good scream down the phone to any pathetic person who will listen lol.. "Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I am walking on!")

3 - Gone - Kelly Clarkson.. (it's a really empowering song!!)

4 - Stolen - Dashboard Confessional (Most recent breakup.. Light and a bit lovey dovey but everyone needs a good cry ha!)

5. Since You Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson... (as above.. on heavy rotation that summer but it worked... the bastard asked me back out ha! and i said nooooooooo)

6. Everybody Hurts - REM.. (my ex used to call them "rem" as in ... no singular letters.. just the word..)

7. Last Christmas - Wham... (terrible but legendary)

8. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morrisette (nuff said)

9. Desperado - The Eagles... (I honestly don't feel sad with this song.. it makes me feel sad for whoever is imprinted on my brain while listening to it so it's good healing.. you can't go wrong with The Eagles.. especially not with the lines-

"Your prison is walking through this world all alone".-

"You're losing all your highs and lows ain't it funny how the feeling goes... away"-

"You better let somebody love you.. Before it's too late"-

Amazing.)

Last but certainly not least - one that has to be thrown into any break-up I have -

10. Your Winter - Sister Hazel ... (in terrible taste haha... but I adore them. if ya wanna cry your little pathetic heart out I recommend! Lol)

My first serious boyfriend and I broke up for college a couple of days ago, and I'm... coping.

I've been listening to Laura Veirs' Magnetized non-stop though.

I just got out of a very bad relationship. He was messing with my head from day one up until a month ago when I finally refused to speak to him anymore. A few of these songs are rather angry (especially the first one) but that's how I am feeling right now...

1.)Cameltosis by Korn:
You see this time I can not ever love another cunt.
You trick ass slut.
Love twice and you'll get fucked.

2.) Never Gonna Change by Saliva:
It still blows me away somehow when you seem so proud of the damage that you've done.
I'm a puppet in your pageant.
I'm a game you played for fun.

3.) Nobody Like You by Limp Bizkit:
I'm convinced that you hate (that you hate)
You hate me.
You like (you like)
You like to see me cry.

4.) Weight of the World by Saliva:
Love to be beside you, the way you smell.
The way your lips feel and your fingernails.
The way your fingers crawl up my spine.
The way you always make me the last in line.

5.) My Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead:
I wish I could have quit you.
I wish I never missed you,
And told you that I loved you every time I fucked you.

I just broke up with my bf, whom, for 9 months, couldn't be emotionally open with me so that we could have had a fulfilling relationship. Instead, I was at the bottom of his priority list. So I ended it and it hurts.

Songs:

* Communication - The Cardigans: My situation exactly! Did they manage to peek into my heart?

for 27 years I've been trying
to believe and confide in
different people I found

some of them got closer than others
and some wouldn't even bother
and then you came around

I didn't really know what to call you
you didn't know me at all
but I was happy to explain

I never really knew how to move you
so I tried to intrude through
the little holes in your veins
and I saw you

but that's not an invitation!
that's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you, but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect

you always seem to know where to find me
and I'm still here behind you
in the corner of your eye

I'll never really learn how to love you
but I know that I love you
through the hole in the sky
where I see you

and that's not an invitation!
that's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you
but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect

well, this is an invitation!
it's not a threat
if you want communication
that's what you get
I'm talking and talking
but I don't know

how to connect

and I hold
a record for being patient
with your kind of hesitation

I need you, you want me
but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect
I disconnect

* Heartbreak to Hate - Angelfish (Shirley Manson's former band)

You opened doors
And reached for love
They close again
Did you get enough?

How long did we take
From heartbreak to hate
From heartbreak to hate?

You opened up expecting a fairy tale
That's a bad idea
I stumbled in a mumbling wreck
With nothing clear
Four sheets to the wind
They were after my skin
They were sniping for me
I was dead unlucky

How long did we take
From heartbreak to hate
From heartbreak to hate?

Heartbreak to hate
Heartbreak to hate

How long before I make sense of this?
How long before I forget your kiss?
How long did we take from heartbreak to hate?
From heartbreak to hate

* It's All Over But The Crying - Garbage

Everything you think you know baby
Is wrong
And everything you think you had baby
Is gone

Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard
And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off
Everything you think you know baby
Is wrong

It's all over but the crying
Fade to black I'm sick of trying
Took too much and now I'm done
It's all over but the crying

* You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

* Cool - Gwen Stefani: My guy and I both live in Orange County so we would hang out on Harbor Boulevard all the time. Memories, painful ones.

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

* Lost Cause - Beck

* Don't Think Twice It's Alright - Bob Dylan

I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

* Eyes Without A Face - Billy Idol: I love this song, and it sums up exactly the person I was in the relationship with.

I spend so much time
Believing all the lies
To keep the dream alive
Now it makes me sad
It makes me mad at truth
For loving what was you

* Nothing Compares 2 U: Sinead O'Connor

* Emotions - Bee Gees/Destiny's Child

It´s over and done,
but the heartache lives on inside (yeah yeah)
and who is the one you´re clinging to,
instead of me tonight.
BRIDGE
And where are you now,
now that I need you,
tears on my pillow,
where ever you go go,
I´ll cry me a river
that´s leads to your ocean
you´ll never see me fall apart
CHORUS
In the words of a broken heart
it´s just emotions, taking me over,
caught up in a sorrow, lost in the song,
but if you don´t come back,
come home to me darling,
don´t you know there´s nobody
left in this world to hold me tight,
there´s nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight,
goodnight (4)
I´m there, at your side,
a part of all the things you are,
but you have a part of someone else,
you gotta go find your shinning star.
BRIDGE
CHORUS
BRIDGE
CHORUS
Goodnight (3)

* Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley

* Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence

* Too Little Too Late - JoJo

* End of The Road - Boyz II Men

* Smile - Lily Allen

* Not Big - Lily Allen

now listen i think you and me have come to the end of our time,
what d'you want some kind of reaction?
well ok that's fine,
alright how would it make you feel if i told you that you never ever made me come?
in the year and a half that we spent together,
yeah i never really had much fun.

all those times that i said i was sober,
well i'm afraid i lied,
i'd be lying next to you, you next to me,
all the time i was high as a kite.
i could see it in your face when you give it to me gentle,
yeah you really must think your great,
let's see how you feel in a couple of weeks,
when i work my way through your mates.

* Littlest Things - Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dont why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Chorus
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

* Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

* Anything by Patsy Cline

* Pieces - Sum 41

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

* Burn - Usher

Alright, let me just say that if you're a guy and you just broke up with your girl after treating her like crap, had an epiphany and realized she was the best thing that ever happened to you, run over to her house only to be told by her roommate that "she's with somebody right now," then listening to Sinead O'Connor is the exact opposite thing you should do...not that anything like that ever happened to me...but I heard...that...somebody did that once...yeah.

Anynway...here's my list:

1) "Nothing compares to you" by Sinead O'...just forget it ok?

2) "The Kiss" by the Cure...Oh yeah...here comes the hate.

3) "I don't care anymore" by Phil Collins...denial is good...

4) "Why" by Annia Lennox...regret is worse than denial.

5) "Downbound Train" by The Boss...Screw it! I'll just go to prison!!!

so many!


1)day old hate -city and colour

2)apart- The Cure

3)Backstabber - dresden dolls

4)lonesome tonight -new order

5)last night I dreamt that somebody loved me - the Smiths

6)NYC- Interpol

7)Hurt - Johnny Cash

8)Worry - Magic Dirt

9)still in love -Nick cave and The Badseeds

10)Denile, revisited - The Offspring

11) Down - Blink 182

12) Better days - pete Murray

13) Nobody - Tom Waits

14) monday Monday Monday - tegan and sara

15) Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet underground

16)Modern romance - Yeah yeah yeahs

17)old shoes(&picture postcards) - tom waits

18) Scheiss auf Freunde Bleiben - revolverheld....
german band the song title translates to 'fuck staying friends" sometimes that's the right attitude to have with boys.. and girls I guess

F*ckyou!

had to post my songs since i just had the worst breakup ever in my life it wasn't him i was upset about cause he was a dick it was the way he dumped me by text message what a gutless cunt any way here goes
Don't mistake me by keisha white
One by tina dico
Blame it on the weather man by bewitched
Call me when your sober by evanesence
Storm by lifhouse