Pajiba

Wow, kudos to you on getting out of your car and telling off the tailgater. I know how extremely irritating that is. And I know a few people who did that and ended up getting shouted down by the tailgater, and in a couple of cases, were almost assaulted. It's INSANE out there. Way too many clueless tailgaters out there. It's an epidemic.

Peeves:
1.) When people don't clean the snow off their car and it blows off during driving and obscures visibility.
2.) Tailgaters (should be shot)
3.) People who cut in too close behind me or in front of me and WITHOUT using turn indicators on and especially when there's a lot going on and I may have to break suddenly and I don't see them.
4.) People obviously talking on a phone, veering all over the place, slowing down, speeding up, etc.
5.) What llp says.
6.) Pushy, bullying drivers, in all makes of car, but typically pickup trucks, SUVs, and those sporty vehicles...etc.
OMG.

Nothing quite like cruising down the road and suddenly spotting a fucking Suburban coming straight at you, in your lane, because the driver went around an inch-deep pothole.

I live in a more urban wilderness, but I see the same behavior when it comes to speed bumps. I do not understand why I constantly see these Canyonero/Lexoscalades come to a FULL FUCKING STOP in front of a speed bump, and then oh-so-timidly creeeeeeeeeeeep up over it.

Bitch, unless you are currently toting a nine-tiered wedding cake in the back of that one-and--half story hog you're driving, you have no excuse for that stupid shit. What, did you shell out extra at the dealership for a suspension made of Tiffany crystal? Fuck you.

And fuck you too, Tater. Now my blood pressure's up again. If I stroke out today I will instruct my next of kin to sue your ass.

I live in Dallas. I know road rage quite well. We generally are not good drivers here. In fact, if you're on the interstate and you want to move over a lane, you do NOT put on your blinker. That tells the people in that lane you need in. Which means they'll speed up and not let you in, because God forbid one car gets in front of you. (For the record, I think that's stupid and always let cars in when they indicate they need in.) But when I need over, I never use my blinker. You SNEAK in. SNEAK. Going 80. It's like some huge 2 ton 80 mile an hour intricate ballet.

Anyway, tailgaters piss me off the worst. One was so on my ass on a residential street recently that I came to a stop, looked in my rear view mirror and said "GET. OFF. MY. ASS." She did, to her credit. But still--when I can see your every facial feature because you are THAT close to me, you are too close. It's assholery to sit two inches off someone's bumper, especially when they're going the speed limit.

I live in Casper, Wyoming, and let me tell you, NO ONE uses their turn signals EVER. That annoys the piss out of me.

And something you'll see all the time here is people driving pickups with their dogs wandering loose in the truck bed. It's unsafe for the dogs, of course; and yes, it's illegal, but the cops don't do shit about it. They probably do it themselves when they're off duty.

I also hate loud fucking motorcycles, which is just about all of them. It's possible to make any bike quiet. Honda Gold Wings are quieter than hell. But I guess most bikers want to advertise their bike ownership to everyone who lives in a 2-mile radius of their loud asses. Fuck 'em.

Oh man, I heartily second what everybody has said here!

One more to add: I can't STAND it when people just stop in the middle of the road to let a vehicle turn left. Especially when the left-turning vehicle needs to cross two lanes of traffic--you don't know that the person in the other lane is going to be a "nice guy" and stop too! People get smoked that way! It's not safe, it's not smart, and it pisses off the people behind you too. Just let the left-turner wait for a break in traffic, like he's supposed to!

The streets in Philadelphia are extremely narrow (Hey, it's a 300-year-old city) and since there is a light or sign at every corner, traffic doesn't move terribly fast. So, shit heads don't make sure it's possible to clear the intersection. Then the light changes. And they block cross traffic. Fuck, that irritates me to no end.

not a pet peeve it's just weird seeing Volkswagen beetles and Pt cruisers as Convertibles with the tops down in winter. hey you know the game Slug Bug?
where you hit sombody every time you see a volkswagon? me and my brothers just found out you can add PT cruisers to the game and call them Bruiser Cruisers.
my favorite is adding herses to the game and calling them Cursed herses.
how about we add too it by saying anytime a Hummer shows up and it's not going as a off road vehicle and not being driven by Arnold Schwarzenegger we call them Waste o monies. and then point and laugh at them.

1. Viking, there is one spot in my town where people almost always turn in the wrong lane at a double turn lane. It makes me want to spit nails every time even though I should be used to it. I often like to turn left from the middle (and legal turn lane with an arrow and all that) because then it puts me in the right lane for where I need to go next. People in the lane to the left can't seem to keep their stupid vehicles in their lane and drift into mine. It's so irritating. I drive carefully there because I expect it but I still honk at them.

2. Related to that, I was recently going down a road and approached a green light. Someone was turning left coming from the opposite way and they went ahead and turned left as I came up to the intersection--close enough that I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting them. Fuckers.

3. I'm originally from Texas (and Lord knows there are many really crappy Texas drivers) but at least we aren't afraid to merge onto highways in Texas. People come to a complete stop (here in NY) before merging into traffic here. It's nuts. How can they successfully merge from a complete stop. I don't know if they are taught to do that and if the rules are different here or what. I have seen some stop signs at places that don't make any sense (like at freeway entrances where in Texas we would just accelerate and take our lives in our hands and merge already). WTF?

I tend to get especially pissed at bad drivers when I have my kids with me (as if other drivers should be nicer to me or should even realize I have children with me) so then I use language in front of them that I try to avoid using around little ears. Oops. No, I do not have a Baby on Board sign. I'm not that bad.

Well played sir, I wish I had the ovaries to get out of the car when people do that to me.

I have merging-related issues as well - where I live there's this area where you have to turn and merge into one lane but the problem is that it does this while you go up a hill from a complete stop so when you are the owner of a Toyota with a piddly little engine like mine that screams in protest at the slightest incline, you tend to take a little longer to get going. All this would be fine but I think at heart I am a "big car" person who thinks they can get away with being more aggressive than they really can, SO naturally when those assholes with big cars overtake me right at the end with only the smallest stretch of road left (all for the sake off ONE car length) and nearly run me into the ditch, I have a tendency to let rip on the horn and start flipping people off.

Let me again stress how small my car is and the fact that I am a small white girl who couldn't pose a threat with the help of an entire artillery to back me up AND the fact that my car horn sounds like the fucking Road Runner (meeep. meepmeep. MEEEEEEEEPFUCKINGMEEEEEP!). Needless to say, it doesn't seem to have the desired effect.

Oh, and I forgot my most amazing tale of asshattery whilst on the road!
I drove past a woman who was weaving all over the road. I looked over and she was on the phone, putting on mascara and steering with her knee. Stupid Bitch!

I absolutely loathe big trucks, vans, and RV's. First of all, their headlights are at eye level for midsize and compact cars, so even low beams will blind oncoming traffic at night. When they tailgate you, as the fuckers tend to do, the light from their headlights floods your car and kills your visibility. If one of them parks beside you in a parking lot, you basically have to back out of your spot in blind faith that you're not going to get hit.

Also, they tend to have big rubber testicles dangling from their trailer hitch. This alone should invoke the death penalty.

(Shit! Accidentally entered before I was done. Premature posting.)

Come to Michigan where absolutely NOFUCKINGBODY can make a fucking left turn without turning into the left turn lane (or the inside lane on a multi-lane road) and then glare at you like it's YOUR fucking fault for being in your own lane!

Oh, and what everybody else has already said.

My first wife loved to tailgate anybody who pissed her off. Used to bug the living shit out of me.

I'm always tempted to stomp on the brakes when somebody is riding my ass, then bitch them out.

SLOW PEOPLE. I HATE SLOW PEOPLE.

I won't tailgate them, because
a)I always feel bad for old people, and they comprise 68% of the slow category
b) I'm not a huge douche (most of the time)

So I'm just STUCK THERE going 25 mph on a 45 road where everyone in their right mind SHOULD be going 60. Or, on the highway, when the speed limit is 65 and so I clearly should be moving, there's a convoy of soccer moms going 50 and taking up all the lanes. THERE'S A RIGHT LANE FOR A REASON!

It should be noted that most of my driving is done in the DC metro area, where people are insane and my going 80 in a 55 zone is quite normal. Especially because William, my car, has -- no, had -- a biiiig engine.

Second pet peeve: When my brother totals my car.

i'm a pedestrian/cyclist. cars are my pet peeve.

I have a similar smallness "problem" as Ashley. My little truck is almost 20yrs old and runs on squirrel power. Plus it's a standard so I actually drive, not just stomp on pedals like most fuckers out there. I had an incident once where I was sitting at a light waiting for it to turn. The split second it did, the car behind me beeped it's horn for me to go. Uh, do you mind? First off, people run red lights so I'm not jumping out there like it's a Derby race..second, I have to shift into first gear in order to go...and third, FUCK YOU CUNT!

People who treat the passing lane as their own personal cruise lane and refuse to change lanes despite driving 5mph under the speed limit and obviously holding up traffic.

Highway bullies- people who drive three inches from someone's bumper to "punish" them for driving slower than what they deem sufficient even though they can simply go around. Or even worse, the people who get pissed when someone passes them so they speed up, pass that person, then slow down just to be douchebags.

Anyone who almost causes an accident because they were chatting away on their phone.

Well. I lived on the island of St. Kitts, in the Caribbean, for three years during Vet School. Now I live in Aurora, a suburb of Chicago (excellent), and home of an outrageous number of soccer moms. So my comment actually has two categories.

Third-World Island Life
- tourists who can't figure out which side of the road to drive on, and can't figure out what speed to go, and can't figure out how to avoid the chickens/goats/cows/Kittitians in the road.
- Kittitians will stop in the middle of the road to talk to someone standing on the sidewalk. For several minutes at a time. On the only road through town.
- Roundabouts. blah.

On the bright side, you can totally drink and drive. Simultaneously. While passing a police officer and waving.

Suburbia
- A-holes making a left turn out of a parking lot onto a divided road, who cross the closest side but don't pull forward enough and therefore block half of the left lane. If you goddamn car is that big, don't do that shit.
- Similar a-holes who are driving something much much larger than my Jetta who feel as though they have to go 20 mph whenever it snows or rains.
- Anyone who waits more than two seconds to accelerate after the light turns green. This goes double for people in the left turn lane (our left turn lanes have red, green, and yellow arrows, and you can only go on the green ones. Otherwise you have to fucking sit there, even if nobody is coming. This should be another bullet point, probably).
- Talking on your cell phone while driving, especially if it causes you to vary your speed significantly, especially if people are trying to pass you.
- Snow plows. With all those goddamn blinking lights, how do you know when they're going to switch lanes or turn or try to run you off the road?

*deep, cleansing breath*
I could probably continue for at least another hour but instead I'm going to go find some vodka.

I hate tailgaters. I like to imagine this happening to them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzgmAgzpldU

(David Lynch hates tailgaters too)

Also, I hate how everybody here in CA thinks they should get their own lane on the highway when it's actually clear for a change. You'll see a car in each lane, side by side, all doing about 55-60 (and wtf is up with driving like a grandma on a virtually empty highway?) even though traffic is clear because GOD FORBID they have someone in front of them, even if that someone is doing the exact same speed.

I hate assholes who will fly past you when they KNOW their lane ends in a turn-only lane, and then try to force their way in to your lane. Same thing with people who see traffic stopped on the highway and cruise down the lane that is CLEARLY ending in an accident/blockage, and they know somebody is going to let them move to the other lane. Ain't gonna be ME, but it'll be somebody.

This is different from merging...for some reason, we have a few ridiculously short merging lanes on the highway I take every day in Atlanta. You better be a fucking rocket ship, because traffic is heavy and there's plenty of assholes in the far right lane who don't give a shit that you have 10 yards to accelerate from 0 to 75 mph.

I saw a scary, scary thing a couple of weeks ago. A pencil-dick driving a Prius thought his adorable widdle car should be able to squeeze around everybody else. He cut me off while I was trying the aforementioned 0-75 mph in 10 yards to merge maneuver. So I beeped and called him a syphilitic pig-fucker, but that was the extent of my road rage.

Well...he soon after cut off someone else, too. Some guy in a crappy brown van. And that guy had balls the size of Pluto.

Prius is tailgating in the far right lane. Pluto-balls in the van wedges in between him and the innocent driver ahead of him. Prius has to slam the brakes, then he changes lanes, cursing and beeping, pulls ahead of innocent car and gets back in the far right lane.

Pluto-balls races up IN THE BREAKDOWN LANE, passes the innocent car, and pulls around ahead of Prius and slams his brakes.

I didn't stick around after that. Even from the side mirror, shit was getting too scary for my taste, and the next incident was going to involve either a ball of flame or gunfire.

Tee hee.
Canyonero.
"Canyooooneeeeerrrrrrroooooooo."

I moved to the Midwest from the East Coast about 15 years ago. Generally drivers in this city are insanely polite by NoVA standards--they let each other merge and shit, and they know mostly how to drive in snow! mostly--but there are a couple of things they do routinely that would make them blood-flavored road smears back home, and it drives me apeshit.

1) Failure to maintain lanes while turning. Here's how lane markings work, Meth Farmers. If we're approaching the same intersection from opposite directions, and we both want to turn onto a two-lane street, YOU, turning right, must use the near (right-hand) lane, while I, turning left, take the near (left-hand) lane. You do NOT blaze through the intersection and swing out right in front of me. Right-turners, left-turners, doesn't matter, they figure they own both lanes. Try THAT in an Arlington rush hour, see how long you stay alive. Legally, I'm sure the cops would side with me, but my corpse wouldn't enjoy the moral victory much.

2) Blowing red lights 4, 5, 6 seconds late. EONS in East Coast time.

I've gotten over how slowly they take off from green, but these two really bug.

Lovin' it here.

I'll say it again: If there were long lines at the grocery checkout and some moron with the same full cart as you pushed it all the way to the front of the line and insisted on being let in, everyone in line would beat his ass, and justifiably so.

So why do people in cars think it's all right to drive all the way to the front of the long line at a construction zone merge point and insist the drivers there let him in, when there were signs for 12 miles saying "LEFT LANE CLOSED"?

And someone always lets him in.

They both suck.

What REALLY sucks about the late merging situation (HATE IT) is studies done on highway traffic in LA suggest that it's more efficient than merging early. GODDAMNIT.

I live in LA... I guess I can just rubber stamp all of the above, but I especially hate fuckers who think it's an OK thing to text while they drive. Most of the morons cant text and walk, so what makes them think they can drive while they do it?

I'm currently living in the Middle East and the driving is out of control bad. I mean, ya'll don't even understand bad driving. But the thing that bothers me the most is that people don't strap down their children. No car seats, no seat belts, and most of the time they are not even sitting down. It's very common to see a mom in the front seat of a car going 150KPH holding an infant on her lap. I told one of my employees whose wife is expecting a child soon that he needs to get a car seat. And he tells me, no, they will just put a 'baby on board' sign on the back of his car. It's the year 2010, all sorts of statistics can be found regarding how much safer a child is in a car seat, and these people just put a sign on the back of their car to warn other drivers that a baby is on board. I've come close to knocking on some windows and telling people to buckle their children the hell up, but it hasn't happened yet.

Jelinas, I fully sympathize. SoCal is a cautionary tale for drivers: I just went to Central America and felt safer driving there than I sometimes do in Irvine, where I live. I feel like I'm watching a competition on the fwy, called How Many Lanes Can I Cross Without Looking. I swear, I've seen records set.

Anyway, pet peeve number one still has to be bad parking. Gets me every time. Taking over multiple parking spaces, paralleling parking like an erratic fool (not leaving enough room for another car to fit), the list goes on. Glarkware used to have these small cards called "You're An Asshole" with a checklist of reasons why; half of the reasons were about parking. You could leave them on people's windshields... ah, how I wish they still made them: http://bigpicture.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/urban_asshole_1.jpg

Oh, one specific incident: me, late for work, trying to hustle. In front of me is Grandpa Oldpants, all doot-de-doo. We reach my high school and he slows down to 30 - the *school zone* limit. This is a high school. It's after 5PM. On a SATURDAY. All three of these preclude the fucking need to reduce you speed! I honk, and he looks in the rearview and gives me a saucy little wave. HE. WAVES.

Actual flames might have shot from my mouth.

I was sued by a worthless piece of garbage who, as we found out during the deposition, has being filing workman's comp. lawsuits for decades. This junkie piece of shit hasn't made an effort to support himself in nearly 30 years. I'm not entirely sure he didn't back into me at the yield lane where we collided. We were at a complete stop to let traffic pass. Then traffic passed completely, we both started to move forward, I turned to look over my left shoulder to double check traffic, looked back and he was stopped and leaning down to pick something up. He fucking stopped. Again. For no reason. We collided at walking speed. No damage to my truck. None, but his station wagon door was bent in and the tail light broken. But in this state, I'm at fault. He was high as a kite but the cop told me 'he's just an old man who is shook up'. In the deposition he showed us the fucking laundry list of drugs he takes everyday, that he took that day, that he admits he is not supposed to take while driving. Including fucking morphine. Driving while high on MORPHINE. (His Dr.s enable him because insurance pays for all his visits, and he gets the drugs he 'needs' for all his pain and suffering from slipping on a wet floor decades ago). Luckily for me, they settled and my insurance covered it. But that morbidly obese fucker got paid, and paid a LOT because it costs obscene amounts of money to pay lawyers, doctors as expert witnesses and court costs than it did to get that fucker off our backs. I'm not entirely certain he didn't back into me. And it just validates his belief that the world owes him a living. The system is really, sadly fucked up.

Love this diversion!

100% true, this just happened to me about two weekends ago.

Had to go to Costco to fill up with gas, it was a Saturday and I usually avoid Costco on the weekends because of all the idiot teabaggers in their wolf t-shirts, but my reserve light was on and I couldn't put it off. (I have been schooled more than once at Costco, completely unsolicited, by old white men in scooter chairs raging on about Obama, yes, using the n-word, Fox News, Glenn Beck, blah, blah, blah.)

Anyhoodle, I'm driving very slowly through the lot and there are cars and pedestrians everywhere so I'm keeping my eyes open and trying not to get hit. I pull off from the stop sign just at the front doors of the warehouse and some old lady in her Lincoln or Caddy is giving me the stink-eye. Now, she is not in a lane, she is pulling around the columns at the front of the store. I have no idea where she is trying to go and this is when the 70 year old guy with a giant-ass big screen TV starts weaving out with his family with the TV on one of those push trolleys that won't go straight. He's not in my lane, he's in my lane, back and forth like a drunk frat boy. The old Caddy lady is pulling up right next to me and I honked at her because she was about three inches from my rear-view mirror. If I stop, she will hit me, and if I go, I will hit geriatric man and his TV. Now geriatric man thinks I'm honking at him and starts giving me looks too.

I finally get parked, because I promised my kids I would buy them some pizza for lunch, and as we are walking in, geriatric man yells at me to drive more carefully and not honk at him. As we get to the doors, Caddy woman starts shouting at me to watch out and why didn't I stop at the stop sign and let her go first. Then she calls me a "BITCH" in front of my kids. Nice. Her husband, son, some random guy, is sitting in the front seat with some kind of brace on his leg laughing his head off. His scooter chair is beside their grocery cart. Great example for my kids.

Also in my town, never start through a green light until at least five seconds after it turns green. No one thinks a red light means them, so they just keep going. I once counted ten cars go through a left turn lane after my light turned green during rush hour. Ten, that was more than got through when the arrow was green!

So basically, I hate old people and the color-blind.

I don't have road rage stories, I can't drive. But there are things drivers do that give me pedestrian rage, and make me wish I could Carrie their asses.
Like, I'm waiting for a gap to cross the road near my flat (jay-walking's allowed here) and some twat will pull in and park right in front of where I'm standing, so I have to move along. When there's plenty of room to pull up a few yards along. I hate that.

Also, people who near-as-dammit run red lights, scaring pedestrians - or rev their engines to make us cross faster. (Of course, then I slow right down).

And drivers who deliberately splash people. Cuntholes.

Oh, and ridiculously loud car music systems, with the bass you can feel in your bladder and hear from three blocks away. Mobile noise nuisances, as driven by arsebuckets everywhere. I hate those morons. A neighbour has one of those systems, and he actually sits in his car on his driveway, playing it full-blast, for an hour or more at a time. WTFF, you chav bastard?!?

*sigh* that feels better! ;-)

Hey Tarn, I'm not really sure what "chav" means but I like it.

OK, godDAMN but I hate diagonerds. If your vehicle is that precious that you have to take up two spaces to park it so it won't get a scratch then go park it out in East Jabib or in the lower 40 lot. Parking diagonally like that just ensured that you are going to get a scratch on your car...from me. On purpose. Dickhole.

Also you're a dick and I swear to god if I could I would kill you dead for a few minutes if 1) You don't go with the speed of the traffic, 2) You think that you can drive 55 in the left lane and screw up everyone behind you, 3) You text and drive, 4) You don't buckle up your kids, and 5) You keep your dog in the bed of the truck.

Nothing makes me stabbier than people who drive in the emergency lane on expressways (yes I'm from Chicago, that's what we call them there)...I actually took to driving half in the right lane and half in the emergency lane to prevent people from using it when traffic was heavy.

i hate asspuppets who buy ginormous cars then don't have any fucking clue how wide their car is, so when faced with an oncoming car and cars parked on either side of the street, these assholes stop in the middle of the street and inch over to the side in order to let the car traveling in the opposite direction pass.

this.drives.me.crazy. especially because i've got a tiny ass car (mini cooper) that can fit through a gottdamn cat flap.

hey dicksnot, THERE'S MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU TO GO! YOU'VE GOT, LIKE, FIVE FEET ON EITHER SIDE.!!
GO. GO. GO.

I drive the subways of life, baby. Last night I was heading into Manhattan from Brooklyn on the L train. My first mistake was being in Williamsburg at all, but once there, my only escape option was the train. I walked onto the platform, found a relatively non-crowded spot near a guy singing a golden oldie, and pulled out my book. Ten minutes later, the train pulled up, I took a step towards the door, and I got bum-rushed by a giant crowd of rowdy kids who pushed me into the train. I tried to get into an out of the way spot in front of the benches, but they all crowded around me, yelling and pushing each other (and me).

Two girls sitting down in front of me nicely tried to make room for me, but there wasn't enough space. One girl from the group next to me started saying how if she were me, she'd be yelling at them. I smiled at her and went back to my book, because what else was there to do? Kids will be loud on a Saturday night. That's when 12-year-old "Joey," who until then had been only an aural nuisance, became the bane of my existence.

He pulled out a bottle of what I believe was Mike's Hard Lemonade and held it over his head like the Stanley Cup. This made the monkeys go crazy. They were screaming at him to let them have it. "Joey! Give it to me!" "Joey!" "Joeeeeeey!" "Give it to me, Joey!" He was holding it in front of my face, against the subway wall, so they were all leaning into me and reaching their arms over me to get to it. Joey was grinning like a dipshit, taunting them, milking his little moment of power.

After half a minute of this, I reached up, grabbed Joey's wrist and the neck of the bottle, and turned around and shouted, "All of you need to stop fucking pushing me and leaning over me." I turned back to Joey, released his wrist, and said, "Give it to someone or I'm going to punch you in the face."

Now, I was wearing a skirt and flowery top, and reading a book with a picture of a bunny on the cover, so I don't know how intimidating I could've been, but I guess my sheer rage expressed itself well enough, because he slid the bottle back into the brown paper bag whence it came, and I got through the rest of my trip comparatively unmolested.

SaBrina,

Awesome public transportation rage rant! Public transportation rage = a whole diversion unto itself.

Indeed Che, the fact that the nearest dealer is 5 hours away was a large factor in the decision to not get a Mini (as was the sticker price...I'm sadly frugal). But I do adore my wee Fit, and as sexy as the Mini is, I'm not at all unhappy.

But my god, man--not only did you give your child the car, you gave her life! Surely that's enough to guilt her into giving up the driver's seat every now and then?!

oh meaux it saddens me that there's no mini dealer near you. it's the bust fucking car in the universe. mine's a convertible which takes its sheer awesomeness to that nother level.

convertibles are the only way to go in LA. i spend so much damn time in traffic, i might as well be able to sunbathe on the 405.

Yesterday, I bopped on into ye old Les Schwab to get a leaky tire fixed. They are currently in the midst of the annual snow tire removal clusterfuck, so the entire parking lot is crammed full of cars, rows and rows and rows of bumper-to-bumper cars waiting to be worked on. As I pulled in there just so happened, by some miracle, to be four whole parking spots open, all together, right in front of the store. So of course what does the jackass in the luxury Canyonero in front of me do? He parks across all four! And then just saunters on in to the store as though he has every right in the world to be a dick. Dude's a lawyer, I'm pretty sure - aah, small towns and their local celebretards! I suppose that's how VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE differentiate themselves from the plebes.

Oddly enough, very mild. Most of the rest of the country seems to be snowed under, flooded out, and in extreme bitter-nipple deep freeze, while we're all up here wondering where the hell winter went. Not that I mind. The usual "oh my god, it's snow!!!!!!" dumbfuckery is another major peeve.

How's the weather in Che-ville?

Optimus You made me feel extremely thankful I finished college before anyone could afford what we still called "car phones." I rode the Texas A&M University shuttle bus system for five years from 1988 to 1993 and never once heard such a thing. Most people on the bus were exhausted and we just sat back for the incredibly bumpy ride and the bad country music the drivers always listened to. And again, no cell phones, so no one could yak all their business to the unwitting world.

But you know, honestly? I know all of us were having crazy sex. I mean, seriously, even the most angelic looking girl I knew was bumping boots all weekend with some guy. But we never really talked about it in much detail. We KNEW, of course. Sometimes we were unfortunate enough to hear it a bit if you were at home at the wrong time. And sometimes jokes were made. But details were always left out, thankfully.

Oh, I don't know, Che--I'm about as deferential as they come, but I'm also pretty damned liberal. However, as a survivor of a guilt-ridden upbringing, I applaud your restraint. You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

,, it is a dandy rig! So far, mine's all 2009, but this is my first new car and I've only had it a few weeks, so I'm kind of living in fear of something bad happening to it.

Che, your comments on the Midwest have been recorded and verified.

If it's cold and wet, there may as well be some serious snowpackage to show for it. And wind just blows (har!).

- Four way stop. You get there first. You wait a full 5 seconds for me to get there. I have my left turn signal on. You wave me through. Why? Just go. I don't have time for this. Because when I reluctantly decide to go through the intersection you decide that it really IS your turn to go. Look. I have to go to work and I don't have time for you sick psychological games. Okay?

That right there. Pure poetry. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SICK PSYCHOLOGICAL GAMES, OK?

This is an epidemic in the Pacific NW, land of "polite" people, if polite actually means ragingly passive-aggressive. And yes, I grew up here, and yes, I am sometimes guilty. Up here, we even have a commercial about it ("The 'four-way stop, you go, no you go" guy).

Exactly, commadaddy, exactly. They are FUCKING with us!!! Because every once in a while, they totally go when they've clearly waved YOU to go.

We've got the 4-way stop dude, the dude who lets you turn left when he doesn't need to, and, as someone else mentioned above, the dude* who stops for someone in the center turn lane waiting to turn left when there are two lanes each direction, so the person can't turn left anyway because the OTHER lane isn't necessarily going to stop.

*"dude" as used above is an all-purpose term which includes ladies.

It looks like Kristen Wiig from Saturday Night Live. That's "SNL" to you kids.

The thing bothering me the most right now is not really a driving issue, it's a parking issue. It's my asshole neighbor. She and her son both drive SUV's, and we live on a city street with only street parking. These assholes regularly take up 2 spots with their cars unnecessarily. If there is enough space for 2 cars, you can bet that they will park right smack in the middle of it, so that nobody can park in front or behind.
This kind of lack of courtesy makes me want to commit murder. Or key her car, whichever.

Shout out to dr pisaster and megaroni&cheese! Yo yo yo! I'm renting a
place in Floral Park (aka N Santa Ana). We'll have coffee sometime.

I no longer drive to other parts of Orange County, nor up to L.A. / Hollyweird, next *evah*, all due to the fricktards and slow-pokes on the freeways. I used to *love* to drive. I hit about 35 yrs of age and just can't take the migraines.

Someone mentioned an insurance related drama up there. Viking!
A few years back, I'd moved about 20 mi S of where I worked. Bad situation, crummy neighbors, no spaces available at the complex, ect. On the move weekend, I took 4 days off to get things done. One of my dogs though has separation anxiety and the move just tripped her shizz *out*. She was
tearing up the furniture, eating the metal mini-blinds, sick everywhere each
time I left for 5 min, the meds weren't doing anything to help her... But it was
day 5 and I HAD to get back to my job. I'm on the main road towards the freeway, on the cell phone to my veternarian, crying a bit and at a red light. I'm about 3 cars back from the intersection and the light turns green.... and I begin to accelerate just a second before I should have. --dink-- I bump the car in front of me. We both pull into the service station there on the corner and get out to assess the situation. Not a single mark on her back bumper. Not even some chipped paint. I explain to her the basics of where my head was {I'm an honest gal}, that I am sorry and realize that I'd made a mistake. I'm bawling at this point and she reaches in to her car and grabs a bible, hands it to me and gives me a big hug and a smile. We trade info and go on our separate ways. When I get to work, I call in to tell my insr co what happened and give them the 40 min recorded deposition of every minute detail.
Fast forward to about 4 mos later. I get a cancellation notice from my insr and a letter from the CA DMV noting that I've 2 points added to the record for "Auto Accident with Bodily Injury". Kinda sounds like I rammed an 80 yr old wheelchair user straight into a telephone pole at 45 mph, rather than bumping a 30 yr old at all of 3 mph at a stop light. I had to call all around the insr co to find out what happened. They apparently did NOthinG to assist me or my interests. Turns out, this Realtor lady from the ritzy So CA area of Newport Coast and driving an Infinity, somehow convinced everyone that she was terribly injured and her car a wreck and my insr company paid her out about 55k. Fifty five thousand smchmakers! Can you believe that crap!? I make about 30k a year and drive an 18 yr pick-up truck and my monthly insr is now nearly tripled. She works the systems and ends up even more rich. Gah!!!!!

" Up here, we even have a commercial about it ("The 'four-way stop, you go, no you go" guy).

Posted by: MM at March 21, 2010 10:56 PM

Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase post this on Youtube. I require validation for my explosive anger. And it may be needed as evidence in the upcoming vehicular manslaughter trial.

Firefly is a Charleston, SC vodka that is used in place of water to brew sweet tea. The resulting concoction is known as sweet tea vodka. Mix it with Sprite or Sierra Mist. :)