Pajiba

How come college movies are never really like college?

Amen, Some Guy.

Although I did go to a party at a local campus once upon a time and spent the evening engaging in some pretty cinematic exploits.

A quick tip for any new collegians; if you don't nail down your possessions, a small band of punk rockers will steal your shit after you have passed out while peeing in your shower.

Some Guy you spend my hard earned tax dollars going to a fucking junior college and now you have the balls to come here complaining about not having enough fun in school, get the hell out of here!

I thought this was another satire/spoof movie in the strong, proud tradition of Disaster Movie.

Now that I know otherwise, I don't know if I really want to see College anymore...

What the hell?

Some Guy:
This is my sincere belief, "the writers" that are spitting this shit out were losers, in every sense of the word, they were losers in Kindergarten, they were losers in junior high, and were the biggest losers of in College. They never got laid, they weren't smart or interesting enough to be nerds/geeks (they'd be rich now if they had been). They are, quote on quote "writers" now.
SO now, they are still getting the shaft by the SAME, EXACT, people who were higher in the totem pole when they were in school. They work for these people writing about shit that they NEVER experienced.

And they are still not gettin' any.

PCU is an underrated cult-classic, in my view.

Not a GREAT film, mind you, but it is truly good times had by all.

Sarah: You know I had PCU on that special shelve reserved for Bachelor Party, Grosse Point Blank, Old School etc.

Now, eeeeeh... not so much, something didn't held up there, there still some good parts, or maybe it has to do with Piven's transformation into an planetoid sized douche.

I don't know, it has lost its magic, for me.

And then sometimes, when you're an employee of the place with the public bathroom, you discover an obvious malfunction and you give the last customer the benefit of the doubt that they didn't stand there and watch to make sure it was draining properly.

So, you clean it up. Plunge the clogged pipe, which does little in this case, and wait for the slow drain. Hey, it kills a lot of time and then everybody thanks you for it.

Put a sign on the stall door.

Know where I'm going with this?

Looks all clean, right? That must mean it works.

I clean it again. The sign is still there, but I put masking tape across the lid, writing "SERIOUSLY--DON'T" and with a footstool and a broomhandle I lock the stall door from the outside, leaving the once-again pristine, but unusable bowl.

Yes....someone put forth the effort to break into that stall, because the staff probably forget that it's fixed and didn't take the sign down, right?

It was not the only toilet in the room.

At the same time that I wonder why movies like this keep getting made, I know sadly that they always will keep getting made.

Sigh... I will no doubt be forced to watch this at some point in the next year. Probably with the same friends who insist that Grandma's Boy is a cinematic masterpiece.

I have terrible friends. Ugh.

Verne Troyer. Oh God why did I know that?

I think I'd much rather drive sheet-metal screws into my eyes than risk seeing a celluloid lobotomy like this.

Some Guy: If you are involved at all with Greek life, you would find that a lot of college movies really are a pretty good representation of college life. Drinking, sex, drugs, more drinking, humilation as pledges.. it's all real for the ones who were lucky enough to be initiated into a fraternity or sorority!

I thought all those college movies were exaggerated. Played up for laughs. Now I live it. You end up seeing shit that you would never believe if they filmed it. The whole hazing factor has definitely been toned down these days though. I hear about weird rituals but the paddles are mostly for decoration (And drunken exploits) now.

I am so sorry. So very sorry you had to watch this.

I believe the best remedy for a pure shit film is an excellent film that does everything right the awful film did wrong.

Barring that in the gross out college comedy genre, I recommend a college-related horror film that leaves you disgusted for all the right reasons: High Tension. Or, for the camp factor, Urban Legend. Or, for the might as well have been set in college for the age of the high school students and sprawling grounds of the school, The Craft.

Even in the preview this looked like the kind of shit you can only produce after eating too much corn. Total crap flecked with bits of misery.

And don't knock PCU . . . it has good moments and any flaws are ALL erased the minute George Clinton starts to play. And the fact that my mother loves the hell outta that movie makes me giggle.

You write the best reviews ever. I died laughing - which I suspect I would NOT do, if I had to watch this film! ;)

Jay, I believe you. I once wrote an EPIC passive aggressive note and taped it to the door of a toilet in my hall bathroom that was obviously clogged and yet had still been used, multiple times. Then I managed to jam the door shut. I return the next day to find: door forced open, note still in place. It was the second toilet in line, three feet from the sinks, out of a line of five. Took WEEKS for it to be fixed properly.

I never attended many frat parties due to the reputation of certain frats on my campus. However, one of my roommates (the nicest sorority girl I ever had the pleasure of living with) was at a party where a frat DROWNED a GOAT. Real live goat was on hand at the party, ended up in the pool, should come as a surprise to no one that goats aren't strong swimmers.

I've just been party to the occasional crazy shit going down in South Beach clubs, but I've never seen a damn goat drown.

Wait, what happened with Verne Troyer?

BarbadoSlim, I'm going to have to go ahead and agree with you on that note.

PCU has lost a bit of it's touch, and that's due in no small part to Jeremy Piven becoming something I don't care to recognize these past few years.

I liked the man, very much so... I enjoyed his work and wanted nothing but success for him, but not like this! Not like THIS, BarbadoSlim!

Seriously, the man has hair plugs, come on!

can you blow me where the pampers is?

It was not the only toilet in the room.

Posted by: Jay at August 30, 2008 3:56 PM

The determined crap producer as crap consumer. Epic metaphor!

A woman directed this? I'll bet she was the same girl who, in high school, wore tank tops with the Playboy Bunny logo, blew all her male friends in the jacuzzi at parties and always had enough weed on hand for everyone, because she thought that's what guys would like.

Unless I am wrong (and I am never wrong), then she's had years of experience appealing to the lowest common denominator.

You know, there seems to be a phenomenon of people who feel compelled to defecate in changing rooms at clothing stores. I know, hard to believe, but apparently true. So, I wonder if it is these same deviants who go to such lengths to contribute the the overflowing toilets. Same sort of fetish I should think. Sicko-s.

Great review for a movie that most definitely needed a great review. People really need to stop making "the funniest movie since Animal House."

For the life of me, I could not get into "PCU". The entire cast looked old enough to be dropping their kids off. Seriously, this entire genre should just stop...

Some Guy: If you are involved at all with Greek life, you would find that a lot of college movies really are a pretty good representation of college life. Drinking, sex, drugs, more drinking, humilation as pledges.. it's all real for the ones who were lucky enough to be initiated into a fraternity or sorority!

Interesting you should say this. I did not find my Greek experience to have any resemblance whatsoever to a stereotypical "college movie," and I would say the same for each of my Greek friends' experiences as well.

There are certainly wild parties that serve as inspiration for movies like this, but in my experience those parties aren't happening in the Greek system. The frat parties I've been to are not that crazy, cool, or fun. They're basically an exercise in how long one can tolerate playing sardines with sweaty strangers. The best parties, I honestly feel, are not Greek parties, because the people who throw them aren't too concerned with the regulations of the Greek system (school officials monitor Greeks big time.)

Oh, and I would have put a steel-toed boot up the ass of the nearest psycho bitch senior who tried to haze me when I was pledging. Hazing did/does not happen at my college.

"How come college movies are never really like college?"

Because what too many of us who've been there have blotted out of our minds forever is that 99.99% of college life is like the scene in "Animal House" where Donald Sutherland is trying to explain Milton to a roomful of students who couldn't possibly care less -- excruciatingly boring. And who'd want to watch two hours of that, especially if you've already lived it?

PCU is so much better than this. At least it had a pre-balding The Piv plus a really crap David Spade (oh he's such a sniveling little weasel). At least they made it work, and it was fun. This college movie makes college seem completely awful, as if it's just all about scoring with chicks, especially if you're dorks. Even The Revenge of the Nerds had far more redeeming qualities than that, aside from a skinny(!) John Goodman!

It's Fieldmont University, according to the trailer, which I had to watch because I actually attended Fairfield University for 2 years and I would have been extremely upset if I had missed out on the opportunity to possibly be an extra in a Drake Bell/Kevin Covais comedy classic. I also would have been extremely surprised if Fairfield would have given the OK to have the movie filmed there, since (a) it's a decently good school and (b) it doesn't have a Greek system. Sucks, though...Fairfield should be known for something other than being the hometown of John Mayer, and I thought this might be it's big chance.

Just for the record, a boom mike in a shot is the mark of a bad projectionist, not a bad cinematographer. I'm sure that'll make a lot of difference in your enjoyment of the movie... but hey, let's spread the blame where it's due.

Very true, Amanda. The "best" parties at college were during the relays, when teams from all over the country showed up and once the relays were over, the parties began. I've never seen so many beer cans in my life.

Theater parties were fun, too. These people are theatrical and dramatic to begin with, but get some Hypnotiq into them, and they're gone.