Pajiba

Excellent. Heading out to see this in a couple hours, and now I -really- can't wait.

the original Clerks was the equivalent of a cinematic cherry-popping. It was ugly, awkward, a bit uncomfortable, and at times tried a little too hard, but it felt so goddamn good that you could overlook its imperfections.

I love you. Will you marry me?

I used to love Kevin Smith's movies, with the notable exception of Chasing Amy (all-around piece of shit). And I still love Dogma. And maybe it's because I was 12 in 1995, and generally loathe any early- to mid-90s movie in which the characters dress like crap, but I just don't really care for him anymore. I've read and watched several interviews with Kevin Smith, and I think he's a self-righteous dickhead. But I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm gonna save my $10.75 till Little Miss Sunshine hits theaters in NYC.

Hmmmm, not sure how I feel about seeing it. "Jay and Silent Bob" and "Jersey Girl" left a pretty bad taste in my mouth, which is such a shame because I was 18 when Clerks came out and his first 3 movies were big influences to my friends and I.
I didnt see Jay or Jersey Girl in the theaters and I probably wont see this one either. Ill wait for Netflix when I can be on the computer or read if it sucks while my husband watches it.

I think that was the most offensively beautiful (beautifully offensive?) review I've ever read. I wanted to see this, though I was unsure...but that bit about the cherry popping cemented my resolve. Thanks Dustin!

Boy oh boy I can't wait!!!!

Well, I was 5 when Clerks came out, but trust me it translates across to anyone with the right frame of mind. I loved the first one, and 2 is great as well. Really, just fucking hilarious...the pussy troll scene had me laughing the hardest I have in a theater in a really long time. The background music made it and Randal's facial expression during the scene is priceless.

right on katie!

I was 16 or 17 in 1995 actually, it was a year before a graduated from high school. I don't think I saw Clerks until I was 19 or 20, it really was quite hilarious and like a quick one night stand. I expect Clerks II will deliver the goods, maybe it's more of a rental then dropping $10 to see at the movies, Clerks had that kind of charm to me as well, like sit with friends and just watch and laugh. And Chasing Amy was probably the best of all those movies except Clerks...however, watching Joey Lauren Adams cry was the scariest thing I've ever seen because it was so unnatural, found myself turning away at repeated viewings...Jason Lee was awesome of course! He has great comedic timing...overall, great review, it really did capture the 90s ennui of working your ass off for $6 an hour!

I will never forget when Clerks came out, my cousin was so proud that Smith was a product of her High School and literally put her podunk Jersey town on the map...for other New Jersians if no one else.
I loved Clerks. I haven't really loved any of Smith's other movies in the same way since then, but I am excited about seeing this one for all of the reasons Dustin validates. Amen brother.

I admit that I pretty much love all of his movies to some degree or another, with the exception of Jersey Girl. I admire what he tried to do, though Smith ultimately failed. I think Dogma contains Affleck's 2nd best work (after GWH), and has some moments of genuine brilliance, despite Fiorentino's wooden performance. And Jay and Silent Bob Strike back is simply hysterical, particularly for dorks like me who saw their first Smith movie when Clerks came out and I was in college, and watched the evolution of those wastelands of mindless screeching such as the Aint It Cool talkbacks.

Anyway, all of that pointless preface aside, I'm VERY excited for Clerks II, and desperately hope that I haven't "grown out" of Kevin Smith movies. And yet again, this review was splendid. And "cinematic cherry-popping" is a beautiful turn of phrase.

i've never seen clerks. (i know, i should, don't tell me). but now i can't wait to see it, and i absolutely adored this review. fantastic.

Jersey Girl was a good movie what teh hell man! Just becasue Jay and Silent Bob werent in it doesnt mean it sucks - grow up man!

Dustin, I couldn't agree more about Smith's films and your critique. I am solidly in that key fan group, graduating college in 1995. I've seen every film since Mallrats in a theater (save Jersey Girl, god that sucked) and never regretted it. I was on the fence about Clerks 2, but no more. We've already made plans to see it tomorrow and I can't wait. Awesome review.

I saw Mallrats when it came out in high school, without ever having seen Clerks. My best friend at the time left the theater saying, "That was totally lame and made no sense." I was saddened greatly, because I realized that we had already outgrown each other and hadn't even gone off to college yet. Anyway, after umpteen zillion viewings of Clerks and Mallrats, and the perfunctory viewings of the rest, I say, "Thanks for the review. It warmed my heart and reminded me of college, AND I can't WAIT to see this movie."

I saw Mallrats when it came out in high school, without ever having seen Clerks. My best friend at the time left the theater saying, "That was totally lame and made no sense." I was saddened greatly, because I realized that we had already outgrown each other and hadn't even gone off to college yet. Anyway, after umpteen zillion viewings of Clerks and Mallrats, and the perfunctory viewings of the rest, I say, "Thanks for the review. It warmed my heart and reminded me of college, AND I can't WAIT to see this movie."

Great review. I was on the fence before but now I'm going to make a point of seeing it, if for no other reason than to decode the pickle fucking reference.

I didn't see a Kevin Smith film until 1998; I was well past 30. I don't give a shit about the slacker-generational oomph, I just know that he brings the funny and shows more awareness of his fans than other moviemakers do.

I was 31 in 1995 and I thought Clerks was a great movie. The Cook, the Thief, etc.etc. and that style of independent movie just have never appealed to me. Maybe I just can't appreciate the stirring socio-politico mores that are implied by films like the Brown Bunny, but I just go to movies to be entertained. I will see this, and Lady in The Water, and My Super Ex-Girlfriend, and Miami Vice, and they'll probably all entertain me.

Excellent review cum GenX manifesto, Dustin.

I had the opportunity to see Clerks II a few weeks ago at a screening, and I am one of the (what seems like) few that were actually disappointed by it. Yes, the wit and trademark flippancy was there, but I don't remember asking for all the sugary stuff. Part of the charm of Clerks II was its cynicism, which seems to have jumped ship and been replaced by rainbows and butterflies in this one.

I am SO putting Pickle Fucker on a t-shirt. Looking forward to three months from now when it comes the area theater pubs and I can go see it for 3 bucks with a pitcher o' beer.

It was sappy, but I loved it anyway. I don't even remember what role Ben Affleck played. I was surprised by how large (heh) Zak Knutson's role was. Zak Knutson and Joey Figueroa shot and edited a year's worth of BTS shorts for the movie, and it was cool to see a lot of the people from those shorts in the film (a lot of crew), but Zak really had a lot of lines...where Joey just had some cool facial expressions in a shot or two. Anyhow, the amount of dancing that happened on in this film kinda tripped me out. Jay was funny, as usual.

I really enjoyed the movie, especially since me and about 5 other people seemed to be the only people laughing at the nods to the original Clerks. I think it made the rest of the theater uncomfortable that we got something they diddnt.

I really enjoyed the movie, especially since me and about 5 other people seemed to be the only people laughing at the nods to the original Clerks. I think it made the rest of the theater uncomfortable that we got something they diddnt.

What I want to know is this: Is Kevin Smith STILL wearing that same stupid fucking backwards baseball cap, either in the movie or in real life? Because if he is, there's no way I'll be able to sit through it.

I realize I'm in the minority here, but I feel that he is colossally overrated. That excruciating crying scene in Chasing Amy was *his* fault. He's supposed to direct the actors, not just sleep with them. Never put your current girlfriend in your movies. (ex: Maxine Bahns) You won't realize how untalented she is until it's too late.

I admit I find him sporadically funny. When he's on, he's really on, but his plots are lame, and his "philosophy" or whatever he's pushing, is heavy-handed and nothing I haven't already heard my friends articulate a million times.

Ugly ken, you enjoyed the movie "especially" because you thought all the uncool, didn't-get-it people in the audience were in awe of your saw-the-first-one coolness, and were thusly made uncomfortable by your super-keen perceptions and wished they were you? Please tell me you're 14.

I was 6 when Clerks came out.

Is it still okay that, when I saw it for the first time at 14, it defined my attitudes?

Holy crap... you were 6 when Clerks came out? Congratulations, Deniz... I think you just made everyone else on this site feel about as old as dirt.

Yeah, I'm as old as Deniz... and pretty much in the same boat. Clerks and Dogma started my obsession-- and when I finally saw Mallrats and Chasing Amy it just confirmed my love for Kevin Smith.

I can't wait to see this one in theaters with the friend I saw the first one with-- if my intellectual, art-film loving boyfriend understood the beauty of these movies, I would have seen it yesterday.

Pajiba pretty much confirmed my suspicions that this movie wouldn't be quite as phenomenal, but... how could it REALLY be that bad?

For what it's worth, I was in the single digits when Clerks came out too, and actually still haven't seen it (my brother is a genius and can't keep track of a fucking VHS tape). I saw Clerks II, though, knowing a bit about the first and having a decent-enough background in Kevin Smith, and laughed my ass off. It was an awesome comedy and Joel Siegel is a moron for walking out of it.

I just got done off the movie, and maybe it's because of the contact high from all the THC in the air, but I forgot the name of the pussy trolls! What were the names?

I think your review is dead on. I think Clerks II is just as good and funny as the first. If you are a Kevin Smith person, you should really enjoy the movie. If you aren't go see it anyways. Maybe he can make you think a little bit. And possibly laugh if you aren't too much of a tight ass.

one of the pussy trolls was pillow pants

For all of you, Clerks came out in 19 94!! In fact, it was filmed in Oct 1993-I just saw the first one, again, and it said that in the credits! I also still have the original video for Clerks, b4 anyone even knew about the film-it was a screener copy, as I sold videos for a distributor at the time. I wonder how much its worth? The bidding starts,,,lol. anyhoo, Ive seen a few of his films, I plan to see the rest soon. Hes an indy genius, he may not play in Peoria, but fuck Peoria, this is all about Jersey, and he and I share the same birthplace, Red Bank NJ!! Also, Count Basie, too, lol!

I thought this movie was terrificly offensive, and yet charming with just a pinch of romanticism. The film maker has grown up and so did his movie/characters. There were scenes in this movie that simply blew away anything from the first. I agree, you can only only lose your virginity once. But I think its an oversimplification to compare this movie to having sex for the tenth time; presumably the tenth being no particularly different from the ninth. No. It was more like your tenth time also being the first time your partner did ass to mouth on your schlong. Gross, yes. But damn if it didn't leave you thinking that was some of the craziest shit you just experienced. This movie had some of the craziest shit in a movie in a long time, and for that I am only partially ashamed for the pleasure I took from it.

I just want to say: Amy in "Chasing Amy" is not a lesbian! What part of "bisexual" is so difficult to understand? Women-oriented bisexual maybe, but bisexual nonetheless! It's not like her relationship with Afflek's character is a fluke--she says herself she's enjoyed plenty of sex with men before. Graaaarrrrrrr.

Sorry, this whole splitting up of sexuality into a gay/straight binary is very irritating to me (and the reason I could NOt enjoy that damn movie.)

That said, I am glad that this sequel sounds like it'll be better than the PotC one.

I just saw the movie 3 hours ago!
my favorite part is when Elias talks about why he's a vergin (wow that was easier to explain than i thought)!
BUT I CANT REMEMBER THE DAMN TROLLS NAME
Pillow-- something..
and then there was a mouth one too!
OMG I NEEEEEED ANSWERS

OH!!!!!!!!!!! i just found out!
his name is Pillow Pants
..but what is the Mouth trolls name?

That was the best review in my opinion that i've ever read.

"What I want to know is this: Is Kevin Smith STILL wearing that same stupid fucking backwards baseball cap, either in the movie or in real life? Because if he is, there's no way I'll be able to sit through it.

I realize I'm in the minority here, but I feel that he is colossally overrated."

You're not in the minority - I agree. Not untalented, just insanely overrated. The backwards-baseball-hat grows more and more unacceptable as one's age increases.

The mouth troll was Lister Fiend.

Being 13 in 1995, I actually looked up to the ViewAskew kids. I don't know if this is a good thing, but I definitely share your affection for them.

"The backwards-baseball-hat grows more and more unacceptable as one's age increases."

...so that's your big problem? Something he does as the character Silent Bob? The fact he doesn't say a thing and can pull boomboxes and grappling hooks out of nowhere are fine... it's the fact that he wears a backwards baseball cap?

You, madam, are a moron.

I saw this last night, and loved it. I am right smack in the middle of the Clerks demographic - I was 26 when Clerks came out and, coincidentally, trapped in a dead end retail job. This movie defined my life at the time. I loved the sequel, too. I, actually, didn't mind the sugary sweet part of it. I like the characters so much I wanted good things for them. And I was glad that Dante finally took control of his own life. I loved all the cameos, too. Plus, I couldn't help but find the Kinky Kelly scene hysterically funny.

I may have been the only one in the theater who laughed at the 'dowry comeback' line, but everyone was pretty much laughing their asses off at the rest of it. It's also nice to know that those guys have gotten a little better at acting.

I saw it in Hazlet, right near all of the Middletown sights on the first drive in. . . no, the movie is not Clerks, but a more grown-up, slightly more mature while still frikkin hilarious version. I loved it, will see it again while in theaters, and have told everyone I know that it is beyond a must see asap, otherwise I can't talk to anyone because their Lister Fiend won't let me talk to Pillow Pants about the one ring. . . the only thing i missed was a 37, I didn't notice a single 37, wtf?

I've had a bad, bad Air Supply song (okay, that's redundant) stuck in my head for days - DAYS - because of you. The review was worth it, but for the love of God, be careful about spreading those earworms!

Did anyone else come close to voiding themselves when Jay started dancing like Buffalo Bill...? That was the funniest damn thing I have seen in a long time. Just brilliant.

" the original Clerks was the equivalent of a cinematic cherry-popping. It was ugly, awkward, a bit uncomfortable, and at times tried a little too hard, but it felt so goddamn good that you could overlook its imperfections. Clerks II, on the other hand, feels more like your 10th time: The thrusting is more rhythmic, it's more artistically adept, prettier, more fluid and self-aware, and very nearly as amusing as the original, but the allure and mystery is gone; that overriding sense of discovery is lost. But, really, 10th time or first: you're still getting laid and, while the lust may have faded a bit, adoration and affection have sprung in its place. "

ROFL!!! a little crude, but oh so effective.

Like Jerce said; Will you marry me?

I'm buying tickets this Saturday.

I, too, enjoyed the first Clerks. I see from the posts that many others did, also. And if you did like Clerks, stay totally away from the sequel. This turkey will ruin any warm feelings you may harbor for the original. Smith's gift for dialogue has, like Tarantino's, deteriorated. Watching extended scenes of great dialogue is entertaining. If the dialogue is banal, repetitive and obvious, it is excruciating. Randall is no longer interesting, just a tiresome, one-note clod, and he's in virtually every scene. The movie just can't breathe with this asshole's face in the camera every second.
By the end, as everyone finds happiness, love and their true place in the world, I couldn't have cared less. The whole thing couldn't have been more predictable and dull. This film should have been a straight-to-video release. There's a reason it is sinking horribly at the box office. It sucks. I went with two buddies, also Clerks fans, and all three of us were completely disappointed by this dreck. If you are infinitely amused by "bad" words, fat guys in leather jockstraps, and irritating losers who can't get their shit together, by all means go. If you are over twelve and have a triple-digit I.Q., avoid. Clerks II is lame, crap, and an insult to viewers who have supported Kevin Smith in the past.

Okay, so I'm outside of the Smith demographic too, since I was in my mid-30s when Clerks came out... and yet, I own all of the Smith films (outside of Jersey Girl...but really, come on). But because I'm outside of that demographic, I've had the pleasure of sharing Clerks with my teenaged son.

Me, I love Kevin Smith even when he's beating me over the head with a sign. I cannot WAIT to go see this movie - especially since I was forced to sit through Pirates of the Caribbean this weekend.

The "illogic of religious doctrine" may be an interesting topic if you're young, poorly educated and not terribly thoughtful, but it's hardly "real-life substance." To fixate on the illogic is to miss the point entirely.

And no, I'm not religious. But getting excited and self-congratulatory because you think you've found the logical chink in the armor of one religion or another (or all, for that matter) is childish in the extreme.

And "speaking our goddamn language"? Sounds like shorthand for "thanks for not challenging me intellectually." Sure it's funny. But meaningful? Please.

"His umbrage comes from a place of misunderstanding" indeed. That could be said about everything Kevin Smith's ever done, especially "Dogma."

Hey, Uncle Mikey - they just opened a pretentious dick movie site. Why don't you crazy your way over there if you hate it here so much.

Well played, Constanza. Is the jerk store out of me too? I could have sworn this was the pretentious dick movie site. Or didn't I just read a long description of why Kevin Smith is a great filmmaker?

I don't hate it anywhere, I'm just not terribly impressed by people whose idea of art is being hateful instead of acknowledging that they might not fully understand a certain subject. That's kind of my whole point. Ranting is easy. Understanding is hard. Why is Siegel a dick and Smith a genius? They're hardly different.

Quite easily the best review of Clerks 2 I have read.
Yes I loved this movie. I was weary going in but my God is was so great to be back with the real stars of the View Askewniverse - Dante and Randall. 1995, I had just turned 25 when I rented Clerks. I watched it... reqound it (rewoud?? damn dude you're old) and watched it again. Only movie I have ever done that with.
I laughed... I felt the pain and I knew I was not alone in the world. There were others who got what was going on in the world.
It's a hard truth to face when you realize that you consider yourself Randall but are acutally Dante. They are the perfect film duo as they do compliment each other well. Togther they are my brain (take that for what you will)

There have been some complaints of "sugary" Clerks 2 overdose. To that I say.. deal!
I am damn happy they got their crap together. Clerks worked because we have all felt the sting of trying to figure out what we are in the world.
Clerks 2 is the payoff for going through all that. Best film I have seen this year!!!

Welcome back Kevin!

Brilliant review.

I saw the film yesterday, and I must say, it was very funny.

As one who likes both the Star Wars and Rings trilogies, I loved Randall's "physical re-enactments" of the three Rings films. All the time I was laughing, I thought that even Peter Jackson would think it was hilarious.

And the character of Elias was a perfect example of every single fanboy I've ever known. Kudos to Lunchbox for making an enjoyable film.

I love "I love Beets"! Took the words right out of my mouth. But Uncle Mikey...I'm scared I know you...tell me you're not who I think you are.

And to Tony: Coincidentally, I am over 12 and have a triple digit IQ, but I also AM amused by "infinitely amused by bad words, fat guys in leather jockstraps, and irritating losers who can't get their shit together". Fancy that, huh?

It goes like this: if you saw Clerks and liked it, it's already clear that you have a taste for the low-brow and that's OK, so dive in. Donkey-fucking good times. But if you saw Clerks and thought it was juvenile and overrated, DON'T SEE "CLERKS II" and expect Shakespeare. More of the same.
I mean, duh.

And yes, Jay is awesome...I always forget just how awesome....

Uncle Mikey-

You're right. Kevin Smith isn't a genius. Just a pretty good director and a spot on writer. And I don't know if this movie is any good, not having seen it. But Siegel is a dick, and I'll tell you why.

I'm not a movie critic, but I can't imagine that a truly unbiased critic would get up and walk out of the theater, much less make derogatory comments as they left. In point of fact, I've never heard of a critic being so immature as to make the sort of comments Siegel made.

"If we're not sitting all the way through the movies, even if they are drivel, then what good are we?" I think this statement, taken from an email from Roger Moore of the Orlando Sentinel, just about says it all. Critics, as is well-evidenced by this site, are not required to like the films they review. But to make such a bold and unequivocable statement having not seen the entire movie? At best, Siegel is a run-of-the-mill hack. At worst, he engenders intolerence for things he deems "offensive". And before you flame, I don't find the idea of bestiality particularly acceptable, but to act the way he acted as a result of what couldn't have been more than a few minutes of dialogue? Sweet fancy Moses!

All that being said, thanks Pajiba, not only for the hilarious reviews, but the forum to express our own opinions, disagreements or not.

I read this review up until the spoilers started, and I agree with most of what you said about Smith and his movies, except that nothing in Jay and Silent Bob redeemed it. It just sucked and had none of the charm that overcame Smith's weaknesses that had always been there. Also, I didn't notice any comment about the fact that Smith writes dialogue that his fans would write, not that they would say (until they've seen his movies over and over), which is why it ends up sounding like something someone would write. I don't mean in the sense that it sounds better thought-out and too intelligent, but in the sense that it sounds a bit like the actors have a mouthful of words that they have to spit out before it chokes them.

Anyway, I was going to slip something in there about having read up to the spoilers, but that made me think of something interesting about the site. That is that almost all of the reviews contain a good bit of the content of the movie, "spoiling" it for people who haven't seen it. If you think about it way too hard, that's kind of cool. Clearly this site is intended, consciously or not, to do what us intelligent movie fans really want in the first place: give us a place to come compare notes and thoughts with experienced and intelligent moviegoers. Normal reviewers are going to be careful not to tell you too much about the movie because they're there to tell you which movies to see and which to avoid and they're not really interested in interacting with you intellectually. Here, you guys are almost assuming that your readers will have seen the movie before reading your review (real stinkers aside), so you lay it all out there so we can all compare notes. I think that's pretty cool.

And I may see this and come back for more comments, but I hated Jay and Silent Bob so much and agree with Katie that Smith is a talented guy who is a pretentious cock on a level way out of line with his ability.

I don't really remember Clerks too much. I am its demographic to be sure but also at the time was such a hard core stoner that I really don't remember that much about it. I laughed pretty hard but given my state of mind can't really claim that was due to any talent on the part of the director etc. But Jay and Silent Bob made me laugh my ass off and that I remember. It was just so very, very demented. I will see Clerks II because of Jay and Silent Bob and the vague feeling that Clerks must have been funny even if you weren't really high.

I love spoilers, whether I've seen the movie or not. I am always trying to convince people to tell me about movies I haven't seen and no one will believe that it doesn't ruin it for me if they tell me what happens. The tale is in the telling, right?

Eep, I always like your comments yet rarely agree with them. C'mon, JSBSB didn't make you chuckle even a little?

You know, Jessica, I probably did laugh some. In fact I do remember that I laughed fairly hard a time or two. Sean William Scott definitely made me chuckle. I guess I felt like it could have been a love letter to the other films, all of which I liked (and own, btw), and I was especially excited because Dogma made it seem like he was maturing and entering a new level without losing the things that made him great. But JSBSB wasn't that, it was a mission statement of one-trick-pony-dom. It said "I let polish and maturity creep into my last movie, but I don't want to grow up, I just want to make slapdash bouillebaisses of clever observations." It's not so much that there's anything wrong with that; it worked great in Clerks, but at some point it seems like other media would be better suited to it. It's more like standup or spoken word than actual movie dialogue that conveys story. To think about it in different terms, Clerks was cool because it hadn't really been done before, but no matter how many riffs you change, if you keep releasing cover tunes of your own song, it's not going to be interesting anymore. It may be funny or amusing, but never again interesting. And the final analogy of the day is that Clerks slapped us all in the face with something completely new, and that made us even more receptive to the jokes. Now, the thing we're getting slapped with isn't new anymore and the cheek is getting numb. At least for me.

I'm only being hard on Kevin Smith because I love him, and because I'm selfish and I think he could make even better movies that I would enjoy even more. This may be the one, I don't know, I'm hearing good things. I'll see it, but not right this minute.

P.S.: Jessica, you're not the Jessica from GFY, are you?

I have never read a more acurate description of a movie in my life. Kevin Smith really ought to hire you as a writer.

Some polish crept in, sure, but maturity? "Slapdash bouillebaisse of clever observations" describes Dogma perfectly. In a sense it's even less mature than Clerks and the others because in those he wasn't pretending to reveal great truths. Smith pontificating on the nature of Christianity is like Jon Peters pontificating on the nature of Superman. Neither truly understands the concept because neither has done their homework.

I think you had to come of age at a certain time to understand his comedic sensibility, to really get his brand of self-deprecating post-collegiate juvenility.

If I may interject a word: piffle.

For a lot of folks who were between the ages of 18 and 24 in 1995, Smith's debut effort was our first real introduction to the kind of low-budget independent fare that actually spoke to people our age.

That may be more like it.

For what it's worth, I was 40 when I saw Clerks and I loved it immediately, as did all my friends. One doesn't actually have to BE between the ages of 18 and 24 to understand subversion, although that can sometimes be difficult to understand for those actually of those ages.

As it happens, the elderly critics who have been reviewing Clerks II have also loved it. Joel Siegel is not representative of the critical community...on so many levels.

Another advantage to advanced age: we know how to spell "jejeune."

Disadvantage to your advanced age, Karen: Not knowing that jejunity is word, properly used in the review.

Jejunity - n. The quality of being jejune; jejuneness.

"Jejeune" - not so much a word.

And "piffle" sort of gives away your age! But it's good to know that people in nursing homes loved Clerks, too.

That is all.

... nothing in Jay and Silent Bob redeemed it.

I thought Shannon Elizabeth and Eliza Dushku in leather catsuits was pretty darn redeeming. YMMV.

The review was wonderful...some of the comments, not so wonderful, but I'll just give my 2 cents.

Clerks II was a completely different, yet ironically similar movie than Clerks. I laughed throughout the movie and still chuckle at Pillow Pants & Lister Fiend....and "it's ok, I'm taking it back".

I love Kevin Smith & the Jersey Trilogy...and I agree that Kevin really does speak to his fanbase. That's why we return to him over and over again. As we age, he tries to show us his view...and as we change, we remain the same.

Funny that you mention The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. I saw that on campus. It had to have been 1992 or earlier. I thought it was really dark and morbidly humorous.

Clerks came out when I was 24, so I guess I was on the upper end of that age scale. My husband was 26 and I realize now why I never saw it when it first came out: I was either hugely pregnant or had just had a baby, depending on when in the year it was released.

So I saw it on video a few years later. Didn't like it the first time I saw it, but it grew on me. Watched it a few more times and liked it more the more often I saw it. Jay and Silent Bob were brilliant. My husband liked it more than I did. It made him double over in laughter and generally grin the whole way through.

So I guess I'll see Clerks II, but I'm in no hurry.

Eep, I think our difference of opinion comes from the fact that I never thought Kevin Smith was all that great. Good, sure, but not brilliant. So nothing he's done has ever let me down. Perhaps it's a gender thing. I certainly don't feel, as Dustin does, that he sums up my generation or any such thing. But I also think Douglas Copeland is empty and irritating (especially his attempts to define Canada and Canadians with pictures of stubby beer bottles and doughnut shops, ug); maybe I just don't identify strongly with my generation. I do suspect that it is largely gender though. I definitely feel that Margaret Cho's stand up is more of a generational definer than Clerks and Chasing Amy. Jay and Silent Bob just tickled my funny bone and I didn't give it much thought outside of that. But I'm gonna see Clerks II out of interest. We'll have to compare notes after we've both seen it.

And no, I am not the GFY Jessica, but am tremendously honoured you thought I could be...

Who ARE these infants writing comments? If you were five in 1995, YOU DON'T FUCKING GET IT.

I, on the other hand, am a Jersey Girl, hailing from Middletown, NJ, a year older than Kevin Smith. Having grown up in Kevin's time AND Kevin's neighborhood, Clerks was like the story of my teen years. Chasing Amy was a love story - not between a man and a woman but between a 20-something and his or her fleeting youth.

Mallrats blew. I'll give you that.

Clerks II is the perfect capstone. I pray that Kevin tries not to bring back the View Askewniverse because I don't think I can bare to see Dante, Randall and Jay and Bob married with children.

Since most people here can't help but compare and contrast this movie to Smith's previous endeavors, it is clear that Smith is hit-or-miss to even his biggest fans. I for one found Dogma tediously didactic and a failure both ideologically and in execution. The sweet parts of Clerks II should come as no surpise in light of Jersey Girl and Chasing Amy. JASBSB was excellent the first time around but nearly unwatchable the second go-round; the original Clerks quite the contrary. Smith clearly has a smart-ass side, a slap-stick side, a theological side, and a romantic side. I thought this was the first movie of his that put all three together sucessfully.

Chickeyd: Shut up, please. Just because we weren't born in the late seventies/early eighties doesn't mean we can't appreciate the film. So I wasn't in my teens/early twenties in the mid-90's...not my problem. I have as much right to enjoy Kevin Smith's films and post here as you do.

I was seven when Clerks came out, and didn't actually see it until a couple of years ago, but I loved it. The humor/dialogue was of the sort that I would almost expect to find while sitting around talking with my friends; natural, yet completely bizarre at the same time.

I was actually kind of skeptical when I heard there'd be a sequel to Clerks, because based on the usual Rule of Sequels (wherein the sequel to a film either sucks completely or surpasses the original), I had a nagging feeling it would be a complete miss. Happily, I turned out to be wrong; I saw Clerks II on Monday and liked it quite a bit. It's not better than the original, but it's still gold.

And may I just say that Joel Siegel was a complete douchebag for walking out when he did. The references to the donkey show were in the trailers, for god's sake.

Chickeyd, you ignorant slut. I gotta side with maiira on this one. People don't "get" it because of when they were born? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Does one have to have been around during Vietnam to enjoy Full Metal Jacket, or Platoon? Do you have to knock over jewelry stores to get Reservoir Dogs? Spare me. Hey, I was born in 1974, and I STILL don't think your point is a valid one. Basically you're saying that unless you were born in a certain year in a certain state in a certain town, you wouldn't "get" Clerks? Yeah, I'm sure that's the kind of elitist attitude Smith was going for when he made a movie about a freaking convenience store.

OK malira and beets, but do you really think that someone who was seven in 1995 really understands the cultural context of "Clerks"? Saying "they don't get it" may be going too far, but face it, there is a lot that the teenage generation now absolutely doesn't see and/or appreciate about Generation X and 1990-1997 or so. I would never be so presumptuous as to think that a movie about the Vietnam War means to me, born in 1978, what it meant to someone who was around in those times. It can still be very meaningful, but it's just not the same.

damn that is the best review i have ever read. absolutely amazing, you really captured this generations feelings towards this kind of raw, unfiltered and unapologetic comedy. Genious man, pure genious.

Jay and silent bob was one of the funniest movies i have ever seen. and this is coming from a grown man with a job.

I've worked at Wendy's for almost a decade and clerks represents a cross section of almost everything naughty or bad we've ever done at work and i cant wait to see clerks II where they DO actually work at a restaurant.

kudos to mr. smith :)

Vi - absolutely. I definitely agree, that certain movies have a greater contextual value for those who were around during the times. But the implication of Chikeyd's post was basically that if you're not from Jersey and born in the 70's you shouldn't even bother seeing it, because you won't "get it". That's just dumb. I wouldn't dream of saying that I "get" Platoon on the same level as an actual Vietnam Vet, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it.

I never got this kind of humor. I was really annoyed when Jay and Silent Bob came out because everyone made a big deal about it, ran to see it and laughed like it was going out of style, but I just didn't find it funny. I will never find puerile toilet humor funny. oh and I was 17 in 1995

Mommy and Daddy- Please stop fighting!!!
Can't we all just get along? We all are Readers of the Pajiba, and I think that confirms a significant unifying thread, so let's stop judging each others' opinions based upon unimportant factors, like age. As we all know, we should judge one anothers' opinions on how we apply the word "ejaculate."

This review is fucking retarded, if the writer could pull his head out of kevin smiths ass for two seconds and wipe the shit out of his eyes he would see this movie is awful. What is this guy on the view askew payrool?

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Well...shoogie, perhaps you're reading the wrong review - it's like Joel Siegel redux - you know what you're getting going in, so why did you bother? But in an effort to make Go Big Red(and I hope you're talking about Wisconsin)happy, I shall now embrace you all in love. And shower you with ejaculate.

TK? Are you there? I was hoping I would discover why people found the movie humorous by reading the review. I would really like to understand. Please with cherry on top?

To Beets- couldn't have put it better myself.

To Vi- I know I will not understand the cultural context of the film, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it as a movie. That is what Chickeyd's post was implying, and that's insulting.

To Go Big Red- Thank you! Again, couldn't have put it better myself.

To Tony (if that is your real name): Your opinions are not facts, m'dear. You don't like it, fine, but I did, and evidently so did the reviewer. This does not mean that he's "on the view askew payrool [sic]." Nor does it mean that his head is in Kevin Smith's ass. Although I could very well question where your head is.

Shoogie, I assume you're being deliberately obtuse, but in case you're not... obviously I don't mean you find it funny by reading the review. But if you've seen Clerks, and you know anything about Kevin Smith, you pretty much know the type of humor you're facing going in. Same with the review. He's a self-professed Smith fan, so why would you be surprised that he liked Clerks II? And why would you be surprised if you DON'T like it?

What I am saying, asswipes, is that you 20-something, Palo Alto-raised trust fund brats that think you can buy your way to depth will never, OF COURSE, get it. Stick with Less Than Zero and other self-serving trash that you can't help but 'identify' with.

BTW, Thank you Vi!

Is no one going to mention Randal's "taking back" of a certain phrase? We live in the ghetto but went to see this movie in the most Candyland mall ever imagined. We were the only ones giving screaming, choking, donkey laughs at those parts. I love when Wanda throws the bag of food on the floor.

I was 21 in '95 - prime demographic - and I just never thought all that much of Clerks. It was fine, sure, but it had nothing on Heathers, Pump Up the Volume, et al, for me. I always felt like a loser asshole for not giving a shit one way or the other about Kevin Smith, but I didn't. His films - and most films during that period of time - always seemed to be trying too hard to relate to me. I didn't dig it.

I didn't get into Nirvana until '98, though, so I suppose it makes sense.

(I was listening to NIN in the early-mid 90s. Grunge was sort of not my thing; I lamented the lack of makeup on grunge boys.)

TK? Why would I expect to like it? Because I bought the myth that certain things are supposed to speak to my demographic and since I like other kinds of comedy and everyone raved about these movies I thought I just might enjoy at least SOME of it. But you didn't explain it to me. I'm serious why is it funny?

Thanks Tony - you said exactly what I was thinking. I like some of KSmith's stuff and was looking forward to CII but thought it was shit. Mawkish (Dante waving to the little kid in the window), lame (the christian gets wasted, how predictable) and embarrassing (Randal's jail cell speech) - I felt sorry for the actors having to say such drivel. I think it's great KSmith get off his ass and actually makes movies but half baked crap is still half baked crap.

Thanks Tony - you said exactly what I was thinking. I like some of KSmith's stuff and was looking forward to CII but thought it was shit. Mawkish (Dante waving to the little kid in the window), lame (the christian gets wasted, how predictable) and embarrassing (Randal's jail cell speech) - I felt sorry for the actors having to say such drivel. I think it's great KSmith get off his ass and actually makes movies but half baked crap is still half baked crap.

Er... is it odd that I, a black New Yorker, had never heard of anything resembling the term "porchmonkey" before this film? I feel like I missed a funny...or at least an opportunity to take offense...

(This movie totally cleared up any lingering resentment I may have had over "Strikes Back." Although I am still scarred for life by the... um... Jay anatomy.)

Shoogie, I never said you were SUPPOSED to like it. I'm not sure where you got that idea. What I'm trying to say is that the reviewer is a self-professed Kevin Smith fan. So there is a likelihood that he will like Clerks II. You, on the other hand, are a self-professed non-fan. There is an equal likelihood that you will not. So it's almost assumed that you're going to disagree with the review. Honestly, I have no problem with you not liking his movies. I'm not the type of person that thinks everyone should enjoy the same things.

But to ask me to explain why it's funny is a truly unfair question. Humor is SO different from individual to individual, that there's no way for me to adequately verbalize the why. I just think it's funny. The lines, the characters, the concept. And you're free to disagree. Some people think the Scary Movie franchises are funny, while I think they're awful. But I'm not going to try to get them to explain why they think they're funny. Something is obviously different about their sense of humor, and that's that.

I don't know if I cleared anything up or made it worse. But let's just internet hug and call it a day.

The fire engine that comes at the end of the movie is number 37.

I went with a friend who'd already seen it 4 times and he pointed it out to me and laughter ensued.

ok so i saw clerks before mallrats and everything else was out i thought yea this movie is ok then mallrats came out i started to gain more interest then out came chasing amy i liked it then dogma jay and silent bob strike back and jersey girl i loved them all i think kevin smith is a great director i love his whole outlook on life and he is great as silent bob but then i saw clerks 2 then i realized this is by far the best movie ive ever seen so if u havent seen it go now as for people who are wondering about jays sweatshirt in the end of the movie it is justice tlf justice true love forever cause if u dont remember from jay and silent bob shes in a jail

everyone who doesnt like this just shut up

I like Smith's movies & while I didn't feel this one was horrible or anything, it definitely disappointed me. While there were laughs to be had throughout, overall it just seemed so "by-the-numbers" and, at times, somewhat forced. I enjoy the Randall character & he had some killer moments but I agree w/ the poster above, he was just too much and thus came across as more annoying than funny at times.

i was SO disappointed with this film that i could not speak for an hour after.

don't get me wrong. i love kevin smith films (with the exception of "jersey girl," which i have never seen). mallrats is one of my all-time favorite movies.

and in clerks the original, the long-winded rants were witty and what made the movie what it was.

clerks two felt like an awkward teen movie cast with a middle-aged cast. the scenes went on too long, beating dead horses right and left. i love a good offensive joke as much as the next guy, but i HATED the central romance story. it dominated far too much.

bottom line: what the fuck, kevin smith? what happened? i loved you so much. you've ruined it.

Okay, for everyone who turns up the hate for J&SBSB what the fuck do you think the movie was supposed to be. Hell, They even point out in the movie itself that it sucks. Basically, the movie was Kevin Smith making fun of his own creation. It was the epitome of camp applied to the Clerks universe.

Oh, bullshit. It was Kevin Smith making money so he could make more of his supposed-to-suck-on-purpose crap.

"But it's supposed to be lousy! Don't you get it? It's, like, irony or whatever! It's so bad, it's awesome!"

Please. Let's nip this trend in the balls and make some good-on-purpose movies.

airticket airticket

I never watched the original Clerks but that didn't stop me from enjoying this. This is genious. Fucking hilarious. The secret is that instead of over sized clits and men fucking donkeys just for the sake of it as those lame American comedies(stuff like Deuce Bigalow, Scary movie etc), this is all put into some kind of perspective. Two guys with low paid jobs, an obsession with sex, hanging out with two junkies who have just found god, an interesting critique of society in general... it just gets better and better. Go out and watch it now!

Just one more thing. If you cannot understand- and enjoy (no matter what your age or place of birth)- sex jokes, racial slurs, mid-life crisis, making fun of religion, someone having sex with a donkey, being a failure and a college dropout, being irresponsible, doing drugs, enjoying what society forbids you to etc etc etc whether you participate in this lifestyle or not, then there's something very wrong with you or you live alone on an island. And you're fucking boring! There's nothing hard to understand here. Kevin Smith is speaking a universal language here. And being very witty at it.

I was only 7 when Clerks came out, but I watched it this year with my boyfriend. When he mentioned that Clerks 2 was coming out, I jumped at the chance to go and see it. I've watched Mallrats, J&SB, J&SBSB, Chasing Amy, Dogma and Clerks, and I loved them all. (I haven't seen Jersey Girl, but after seeing that 99.9% of comments on this review are bad, I'm not so bothered about that one - that said, I will give it a chance at some point). My point is, I was only introduced to the world of Kevin Smith in February (I think) and I have now seen seven of his films and one of his interviews, and I think he is a legend.

I agree that perhaps if you don't find his satirical humour funny, then you either won't understand his films or won't see the funny side of things, but in all honesty, most people find self-deprecating or topical humour funny, because it makes light of the difficult social issues we face, both now and back when Clerks was out. He has also adapted to the times, keeping up-to-date with the type of humour he was using in the first film, whilst staying on the topics of the sort of humour a lot of adolescent males would find funny. (no offence meant here - I find this humour funny, too - I only mean that scatological or "toilet" humour is more commonly appreciated by men than by women).

The part of Clerks 2 that I found funniest was the LOTR vs. Star Wars debate, basically because I went to see this film with my boyfriend, and while I am a big fan of Tolkien's work, my boyfriend is a George Lucas kiss-ass, and their fights are much like the ones we have had ourselves (although Kevin Smith's version of events are so funny I actually almost choked myself with laughter!). The reason I found it funny was not the arguments against Star Wars, but against LOTR, because even though I am a fan of the middle-earth trilogy, I couldn't help but see sense (if slightly blurred) in what Randal had to say about LOTR. It IS all about walking, albeit in much more depth than that. The parts of this film that you have to see as funny are funny because they are true.

The acting in this movie is so bad. I'm not sure if it's because of poor performances, or Kevin Smith's awkward dialogue.

What a beautiful review... written generously, thoughtfully and with a sense of generational and historical context.

I've met Mr. Smith a couple of times, and if I ever should again, I will recommend that he check out Mr. Rowles's notice.

Its rare that a critic has the opportunity to give voice to an unspoken but intrinsically understood truth held and shared by his or her generation.

Thanks.

Sorry Kevin, but you lost me on this one. I was in my mid 20s in 1994 and now in my upper 30s. I loved Clerks and all the others but Clerks 2 seemed to miss the mark. Watching a bunch of young lost 20 somethings working at the Quickstop was funny in 1994. I was able to relate. Watching the same guys who are now mid 30s acting even more juvenile just seemed sad. We expect young guys to act this way which is why it was funny in 94. But I found it more pathetic to see men in their mid 30s acting this way.

My friends and I were all rude and crude at times when we were younger, but as we got older we started to grow up. We still have a friend or two who still does the same stupid crap he did when he was 24, only now we don't think it is funny. We just think it is sad he has not been able to move on with his life.

I did not find the dicussion about a** to mouth or the donkey show at all funny. Crude, yes, funny, no. Personally, I don't know any women, who don't work in a strip club, who are going to sit aroung having a discussion about a** to mouth with a group of guys. What was the point of the donkey show? Just to have something vile in the film. If that is all it was, why not have the guy get raped by a gorilla? It makes about as much sense as the donkey show, which is to say it made no sense. The original Clerks had its crude moments but there was humor to it. Clerks 2 was crude without the humor.

I understand Kevin wanted to show Dante's journey of finally figuring out who his true love is and realizing that friendship is what really matters in life, which are all good and well, but so much of this film seemed to detract from that message. It seemed like Kevin just ran out of ideas to fill in the movie and just slapped something together.

I'm still a Kevin Smith fan, but you're not 24 anymore, Kevin. It's time to grow up.

I got the same tramadol attack... well, not the same, because it was only about 20 comments instead of 90, and i t have any filtering set up, and I just deleted them one at a time... hmm.. the only thing really in common was that it was about tramadol... what filter do you have set up that caught them all?

Superb! (I wrote something else and then I read below that I aint supposed ter. So I deleted it.)

I saw Clerks in the theater, specifically the Angelika in the Village because the film was considered just an art-house indy then. I saw a special pre-screening of Mallrats where the organizers handed out X-Men videotapes (I still have it somewhere). I've seen every Kevin Smith movie and I've enjoyed them all, though I have to agree that Dogma (poop-monster? ugh!) was far from perfect and JSBSB loses something on repeat viewings. I'll even go on the record and say that I though Jersey Girl was actually a decent sweet romantic comedy. One recommendation I would like to pass on though - An Evening with Kevin Smith is one of the funniest DVDs I've ever seen - I can't recommend it highly enough. It's that good. Finally, for what it's worth, I was 21 in 1995.

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