Pajiba Music
Welcome Back the Jungle... Finally
Wednesday Music Reviews / Pajiba Music Staff
Here we go with round two of Wednesday music reviews (the early edition!) — we’ve got a full and diverse plate today, hopefully enough to drown out the incessant yammering of your annoying relatives on Thanksgiving. Please, do enjoy.
Guns N’ Roses: Chinese Democracy
Geffen Records
It’s been such a long goddamn time since Guns N’ Roses were relevant that we sometimes forget… this used to be the biggest band on the planet. Seriously — shortly after the release, and subsequent blast to the top of of the charts, of Appetite for Destruction, there were cave dwelling troglodytes who could probably recite the lyrics to “Paradise City.” Their star burned bright and hot, and lasted for a good few years, through the mixed-quality releases of “Lies,” the “Use Your Illusion” albums, and the woefully weak “The Spaghetti Incident?” And then they faded into the ether, until news came about over a decade ago that they were working on a new release. Finally, 20 years after the release of Appetite, after 10+ years of lineup changes, producer changes, interrupted touring, leaked tracks, Axl eating his weight in meatball sandwiches, and God knows what other obstacles, Chinese Democracy has arrived.
The first track, “Chinese Democracy,” bore great promise. After a slow buildup, the guitar kicks in and all of a sudden… well, I’ll be damned. It’s Guns N’ Roses! It’s a fairly rockin’ tune, with good tempo changes, and some decent bursts and screeches from the guitar. Axl’s voice, however, is probably the weakest part of the song. It’s so overprocessed and has been fed and re-fed through the electronic blender that it sounds like it was generated by a computer — HAL meets Bret Michaels at its worst, Axl singing in front of an oscillating fan at it’s best. The next track doesn’t fare much better, and mixes promising riffs with disappointing production.
Is Guns N’ Roses missing a step? Perhaps — not only that, but diminished expectations after such a long wait don’t help things. Yet it’s true — Chinese Democracy is a thoroughly mixed effort. It moves away from their badass rock and roll roots, instead working through too many processors and soundboards and synthesizers. There are tracks that use drum machines (“There Was A Time” is one of the most egregious offenders), but with no real purpose. All of this over-producing makes no progress towards a new or innovative sound. Instead it sounds like they’re simply borrowing from 80’s synth pop, yet still trying to pass themselves off as a rock band. The two things that suffer the most are Axl’s voice and Slash’s guitars. Axl can still hit his high, screechy notes, but it occasionally sounds like most of the crappy pop that comes out these days — mixed and produced within an inch of its life. While there are some tracks that stand out vocally — “Scraped” is damn good once it works through it’s layered-multiple-vocal-tracks opening, and the horrendously titled “Riad N’ The Bedouins” allows him to flex a little muscle as well. The guitar, on the other hand, is criminally underused throughout. It’s a somewhat baffling choice — you were renowned for having one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time, and yet on many tracks that takes a back seat. Sure, there are some bitchin’ solos, especially on “Riad N’ The Bedouins,” and he takes more of a drivers seat in “Shackler’s Revenge,” but it’s still a poor showing.
So what are we left with, after all these years? Well, there are some excellent tracks. “Scraped” is an enjoyable listen. The radio-friendly “Better” is good, if unoriginal-sounding. There’s a good deal of mediocrity to be found as well, especially the piano ballad “Street of Dreams” and the flat-out boring “Catcher in the Rye.” But there are also some absolutely atrocious tracks — “This I Love” sounds like a cat being raped in front of an orchestra, and the final track, “Prostitute” is completely derivative and sounds like one of the songs invented by fictional video game bands (though it does boast a pretty good, but too brief, guitar solo). It’s unlikely that Chinese Democracy ever really had a chance to live up to its expectations — too much of a waiting period, too much mockery was slung around, and expectations either too high or too low. Pretentious, self-indulent, petty and pseduo-intellectual song lyrics (and song titles) certainly don’t help, and in fact frequently annoyed me. To top it all off, the music landscape has changed so much, and while Axl and company tried hard to include elements of those changes, it sounds just like that — as if they’re trying too hard. Many people have said that Guns N’ Roses ceased to be relevant long ago, and Chinese Democracy, while it will likely sell at first, may well prove that to be true.
—TK
The Postmarks: By The Numbers
[UnFiltered Records]
“Ah crap, is this a covers record?” I questioned myself as I realized I was listening to a reinterpretation of Nancy Sinatra’s Bond theme song “You Only Live Twice” on an album called By The Numbers. My eyes generally begin to roll instinctively when I hear about an artist I like doing a covers record and honestly, I’m conflicted as to why that’s such an internal automation for me. On the one hand, I crave original music from these artists, because with the sole exception of Cat Power, I fell in love/like with them due to their songwriting prowess. On the other hand, I can reflect and realize those artists had influences which taught and inspired them to write the songs that I fell in love with. In a way, whenever we begin adoring a band or artist, we are by proxy going ga-ga over whoever they grew up listening to and led them to pick up a guitar, microphone, whatever. So why shouldn’t we want to hear their versions of the songs that got them writing music in the first place?
It’s a dizzying dynamic to think about, at least for my simpleton brain, but ultimately, I told TK I was going to review the new Postmarks record and I’m going to stick to my word, regardless of personal judgmental inclinations. Interestingly enough, neither the Florida band’s debut from last year as a whole nor any particular track really stuck with me so much as their sound did. It’s light, airy, and mind-bogglingly relaxing, without crossing that oh-so-frightful line into bored-sounding indie-pop. Gentle guitars swimming in tremolo, warm keyboards, quiet percussion, and a laid back but still precious female croon all create an atmosphere so pleasant you might just not want to operate heavy machinery for a few hours after listening. You won’t fall completely asleep though, because they know to keep things just inflective enough so you’ll at least drift in and out of consciousness, witnessing the next string of pretty melodies float through the headphones.
In fact, just by choosing songs that are slightly in the public conscious but not overly so (no guilty pleasure-style mainstream pop songs, no terribly obscure snobbery), their covers record is able to demand a bit more direct attention and concentration than their last effort was able to. Sure, I had no idea that the opening track “One Note Samba” was originally by 1970s Bossa Nova superstar Antoni Carlos Jobim. Then again, ardent fans of the genre that I can only associate with a mental image of slow-motion hip-swaying probably won’t pick up on the fact that “OX4” is an elegant rendition of the song by Britpop forefathers Ride (one of three tracks on the record that I didn’t need to look up to find out who was responsible for the original). Likewise, those kids who played hackey sack in the courtyard of my high school probably would have picked up on the reconstruction of Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds,” while I had to wait until The Postmarks re-envisioned the Sesame Street song “Pinball Number Count” to close out the disc until I recognized another one. If By The Numbers has one thing going for it before its musical competence is even analyzed, it’s that the sheer eclecticism of the band’s musical tastes makes for a simultaneously challenging and rewarding collection of covers.
Quality, however, is definitely up for debate. I find the glacial pace of their severely non-intrusive style calming and effusive, but others might get weary after a few tracks. In that case, I’d recommend going straight for their covers of The Ramones’ “7-11” and Blondie’s “11:59,” which both get as breakneck as the band can probably handle, with manic drumming and bass lines sublimated by the restrained vocals, but with the heart and energy that the originals encompassed. Ultimately, unless slowcore’s your game (it can certainly be mine depending on my mood), the entire album can be a bit of an extended lullaby to sit through. In my eyes, what makes By The Numbers a solid accomplishment is not so much the musicality that turned me on to The Postmarks in the first place, which is certainly tightened in many places on this record but mostly just repeated, but their ability to make a covers record sound like an actual record: cohesive, genuine, and generally enjoyable.
—Chris Polley
Kanye West: 808s & Heartbreak
[Roc-A-Fella, Island Def Jam Records]
You probably think it would be a whole sack-load of fun to be Kanye West, don’t you? You get to look pissed off at awards ceremonies, spell your first name with a capital Y depending on your mood, and spend your time playing Connect-4 with Beyoncé. What’s not to like? Well, the self-styled king of hip-hop wants you to know that he’s not too jazzed about being himself right now. On ‘Welcome To Heartbreak’ from his fourth album 808s and Heartbreak, for instance, he tells us of a friend whose “daughter got a brand new report card/And all I got was a brand a new sports car.” Spare a thought for a brother, please.
Not to diminish Kanye’s weltschmerz: after a year in which his beloved mother died and his engagement to fiancée Alexis Phifer collapsed, he is understandably feeling the pain - and this album is awash with it. Never has a hip-hop artist so exposed himself, and perhaps no pop artist either; we’re looking at Fiona Apple levels of anger and self-flagellation here. On ‘Coldest Winter’, which boasts the best beats of the album and some nifty old-school synth, he despairs, “Will I ever love again?” On ‘Heartless’ - a highlight of the album, with a sassy dancehall rhythm played out on flute-like keyboards - he spits, “How could you be so/ Cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo”. (How much do you love that ‘yo’?) And on the almost unlistenably raw hidden track ‘Pinocchio Story’, he wails tremblingly about wanting to become “a real boy”.
This is a huge departure for Kanye and for a hip-hop listenership: such depth of feeling is unheard of, amongst even the most iconoclastic of artists. The thing is, this isn’t strictly hip-hop - West is going for an R’n’B auto-tune sound a la T-Pain, with subdued arrangements toeing a line between orchestral and electro. It sounds like nothing else around. But while it’s wonderful for him to be adventuring so far out of his comfort zone, he really is uncomfortable here: his singing and phrasing are weak, and his lyrics, shorn of their erstwhile irony, references, jokes and word-play, are clumsy. You yearn for the verve, energy and enthusiasm of, say, ‘Touch The Sky’.
Nevertheless, there is some typically ace production from Kanye here, and there’s plenty to enjoy: the tribal drums of ‘Love Lockdown’ offer a moment of levity, and when he lets loose on ‘Paranoid’, with its clack-clack synth-pop beat, it’s frankly joyful. Also, check out the glockenspiel on ‘Robocop’. Fucking glockenspiel! It will be thrilling to see where he goes next, after this hit-and-miss adventure.
Q-Tip: The Renaissance
[Universal Motown]
Also bemoaning the glitzy lifestyle at the moment: Q-Tip! The ex- Tribe Called Quest frontman has finally released a new album — his last one came out before Kanye’s first — and it’s a terrific return to form for him. Listening to the aptly titled The Renaissance, you can hear his influence over artists like Common (on ‘Won’t Trade’ where he riffs magnificently over a piano loop and soul sample), Lupe Fiasco and Talib Kweli. His production is impeccable and his flow is flawless: ‘Manwomanboogie’ has Stevie Wonder-style drums, handclaps, and a bassline that’s fartier than a Seinfeld segue, while ‘Move’ begins with Outkast-ish brass-funk and ends with a sweet, quiet, intelligent rap over a pattern of whistling. There are some weaker moments - ‘Gettin’ Up’ is a standard jam, and ‘Dance on Glass’ is forgettable - but overall this teems with the sort of urgency that’s so sorely missing from his more innovative inheritor, Kanye West, at the moment.
—Caspar Salmon
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Comments
On the radio here this morning they were discussing a British article on the top 25 riffs of all time. 3 of the top 10 were from Appetite for Destruction. So sad.
Posted by: Eep at November 26, 2008 1:13 PM
I love Guns n' Roses. I used to tie a red scarf under my knee when I was in the midst of high school junior parties. And yeah, my jeans had holes. I felt awesome. Dateless, but awesome.
Posted by: Sofía at November 26, 2008 1:15 PM
I could be wrong (and usually am)...but I'm pretty sure that the reason Slash "takes a back seat" on "Chinese Democracy" is because, well, it's not Slash. Guns N' Roses is basically just Axl with a bunch of rotating musicians, and Slash is, I think, still a member of Velvet Revolver. Someone feel free to correct me, though.
Posted by: Abe Froman at November 26, 2008 1:16 PM
Oh, another thing. All I could think of when GNR released this album was the dilemma of returning someone from a cryogenic state. Will it be the same person (I think they made a movie about this, possibly for TV)? If a band is on ice for more than a decade, is it really the same band? And I'm not talking about a little thing missing. Can the soul of a band survive, or is it some twisted thing that looks and sounds kind of similar, but you really know it's dangerous and dead inside. Hmmm.
Posted by: Eep at November 26, 2008 1:17 PM
Kanye is only innovative and talented as a producer nothing more. His songwriting skills along with his singing and rapping skills are absolutely laughable. I don't get why people jock this guy so much. Plus hes an asshole whose lifestyle forced his mother into getting plastic surgery kicking the bucket.
Posted by: Sad Rockstar at November 26, 2008 1:23 PM
You're right Abe Froman, there is no Slash on this record. Axl is the only original GNR member on it.
There is, however, Buckethead.
Posted by: courtney 2 at November 26, 2008 1:26 PM
Um yeah, Slash is NOT on the lackluster new GN'R. He is still a member of VR...who, by the way, are still looking for a lead singer. I think they should just go ahead and offer it to Huey Lewis
Posted by: Max at November 26, 2008 1:26 PM
I think bands evolve but remain true to their style. Granted, it doesn't happen often, but for some bands it's true, like R.E.M. and U2. You can tell by their sound it's them, even if the music it's not the same they were making 20 years ago.
A good example of this NOT happening is Elton John. I love most of the stuff he did early on, but then he just had hits or misses, mostly misses as off late.
Posted by: Sofía at November 26, 2008 1:27 PM
Here's a question:
Why the hell does Axl look like that?
When I was young Axl Rose was hotter than hot and now he looks like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. He's approaching Jackson territory with his scary plastic surgery.
Posted by: becks at November 26, 2008 1:29 PM
Velvet Revolver is no more. No member of Guns N Roses circa 1993 plays on the album.
Chinese Democracy is awful. I've had the bootlegs for a while and they are damn near exactly the same tracks that he released. I was a HUGE G 'n R fan and hold that Appetite For Destruction is the best rock album of all time. But this shit IS NOT G'n'F'n R. Anyone interested should check out Mick Wall's biography of Axl Rose called "W.A.R." Great book and really shows what a clusterfuck Chinese Democracy is.
My buddies and I have a theory that Axl didn't want the album to come out but the label forced him. The production just does sound like a finished product. You can't tell me they couldn't polish his vocals up? The music is ok but Axl's vocals are painful.
Check out Chuck Klosterman's review of Chinese Democracy at the Onion AV club, it's freaking hilarious.
Posted by: TylerDFC at November 26, 2008 1:40 PM
The album isn't Guns n Roses as people know it. It's just Axl thinking he has sole rights to the name and being a control freak over a new set of musicians.
Posted by: Devo at November 26, 2008 2:06 PM
Here's a question for the panel: Can you name one band that broke up or went on a long hiatus, and decided to get back together, and was better than before?
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 26, 2008 2:17 PM
Nice review, TK...
My opinion? Horrible. It's just flat-out horrible. The last album GnR put out was Lies. I've listened to this friggin' - I don't even know what the hell to call it - about nine times through now, and nothing, not even one track, lives up to any diminished hype it might have had a decade ago.
You were dead-on with "...absolutely atrocious tracks -- "This I Love" sounds like a cat being raped in front of an orchestra...". It's fucking laughable. It sounds like a goth musical written by a Hot Topic eighth-grade drop-out with limited mental capacity and a rhyming dictionary with half the pages ripped out. Shitastic. There's one track, where I shit you not, he sings a line that could've been pulled from the puppet musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Jesus, I hate this mess...
It's easily proven that Reznor is NIN, right? This landfill fodder easily proves that Rose is most certainly fucking not GnR. Duff, Slash, Izzy & Axl are essential. This sounds like someone who's flipped his goddam noodle and was locked in a recording studio for close to twenty years. Production wise? Great. Layered? Yep. GnR? Hell no. This album sucks hobo balls. No stuffing on the side, no gravy - just a burnt on the outside, raw in the middle, unseasoned pair of hobo balls on a cracked plate with what appears to be dried cat vomit on it.
Posted by: Skitz at November 26, 2008 2:22 PM
Bucdaddy - how about Aerosmith? Debatable, but it's as close as I can get to an answer...
Posted by: kp at November 26, 2008 2:22 PM
File CHINESE DEMOCRACY under BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
Posted by: JH at November 26, 2008 2:26 PM
Nothing good can come from an album that takes 15 years to produce and features the revolving door approach to its band.
Posted by: David at November 26, 2008 2:35 PM
If you're a fan of guitar and some out-there instrumentals, you should check out some of Buckethead's solo albums, though.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 26, 2008 2:52 PM
bucdaddy-
Barbara Keith was a solo folksy-ish artist in the late '60s/early '70s (who didn't achieve that much fame but had plenty of artists cover her songs) and disappeared for about 2 decades before re-emerging with her new band in the '90s (her husband and son) the Stone Coyotes and they rock pretty hard.
Posted by: Eep at November 26, 2008 3:13 PM
I've seen Buckethead live a few times and it's quite an experience. In the middle of the set he will bust out the numchucks for awhile, and give away toys to the audience and then do the robot. But he doesn't talk. Or sing. At all. It's just a 3 hour guitar solo.
"He's got a bucket on his heeeeeeead!"
Posted by: shelleyh at November 26, 2008 3:15 PM
kp, Are we talking about, like, "Permanent Vacation"? That wasn't bad, but seriously: Better than "Toys"?
Give you credit, tho. I've posed this challenge to several knowledgeable music fans and you're the first one who's even attempted an answer.
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 26, 2008 3:20 PM
And Eep is the second, though technically a solo artist isn't a band.
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 26, 2008 3:27 PM
I suppose it is true, although her husband wrote with her on (and I believe produced) her 1972 album, so there's some continuity besides her.
Posted by: Eep at November 26, 2008 3:36 PM
Bucdaddy: I'll name you two bands that broke up and reformed years later with incredible results.
1. Television. Originally disbanded in 1978. Reformed and made a third record in 1993 that was as strong, if not as ground-breaking, as their first two.
2. Mission Of Burma. Originally disbanded around 1983. Reformed in 2004 and have recorded two albums that are as good, if not better, than their early 80's output.
Posted by: Brad at November 26, 2008 3:53 PM
I could also point out that Brian Wilson's 38-year gestation of SMiLE was generally considered worth the wait.
Posted by: Brad at November 26, 2008 3:57 PM
Who cares about Guns and Roses? I love Kanye's new direction - he's never going to better his earlier hip-pop, and fuck me if someone doesn't have to be Phil Collins today.
Posted by: kevin at November 26, 2008 3:57 PM
Phil Collins is probably (at least in my opinion) one of the most overrated artists anyway. Also can people stop thinking Peter Gabriel's music is Phil Collins. Peter Gabriel's music is full of awesome and win. Phil Collins always sounded like he had his balls cut off just to further his career.
Posted by: Devo at November 26, 2008 4:14 PM
Devo, you clearly have neither two ears nor a heart.
I was born too late to care about Guns n Roses, so all the hoopla over Chinese Democracy was confusing. It sucking affects me not at all.
In the last six weeks, I've listened to "Love Lockdown" about a hundred times. It ends, I play it again. And again. I haven't heard the rest of the album, but I think I need rehab for that song.
Posted by: Sabrina at November 26, 2008 5:39 PM
Okay, I just have to say it, how can we take your music reviews seriously when you didn't even know that Slash isn't in Guns & Roses anymore? Or that this album is Axel Rose's mastibatory attempt at a comeback and no other member of the original band is in anyway involved?
Your credibility is shot with me now. That is all.
Posted by: Popsi_zen at November 26, 2008 6:35 PM
Axl sort of reminds me of how Jack Nicholson looked in Batman as the Joker, without all the makeup but with some nasty lookin' braids and sadly misplaced old-man bad-assery.
That said, I wore out 2 cassettes of Appetite for Destruction in the 80's..... YEAH!!!!
Posted by: Janey at November 26, 2008 7:09 PM
Sabrina I think you're reading the wrong post. I've only talked about Phil Collins being crap and Chinese Democracy not really being Guns n Roses but Axl co-opting the name only for himself. I have yet to listen to the album, I don't really want to.
Posted by: Devo at November 26, 2008 7:50 PM
Devo, I just wanted to quote Jack Donaghy when I saw that you put down The Collins. The rest of my comment was in reaction to the actual reviews, not anything you said.
Posted by: Sabrina at November 26, 2008 9:36 PM
I still have naughty dreams about Slash...not much has changed from when I listened to them back in 6th grade up to now ;-)
But yeah, Slash is NOT part of the album. This is all just a lovefest for Axl to boost his inflated-grandiose-untalented-without-the-rest-of-the-band-plasticene-EGO.
Posted by: Be Adequite! at November 27, 2008 12:23 AM
I've read a handful of reviews for GNR's new album and this is the only negative one that I've seen. It's true that a lot of the tracks are over-processed, but there are some solid ones on there too. Give "I.R.S." or "Catcher in the Rye" a listen or two and you'll see what I mean. I don't know who this clown is, but I'm guessing he put the album on in the background while he was playing World of Warcraft and thought he heard enough to trash the whole thing. Seriously, he didn't even know that Slash isn't in the band anymore? This guy's a real expert.
Posted by: idigmusic. at November 27, 2008 1:30 AM
stick to movie reviews, guys!
Posted by: dan at November 27, 2008 3:07 AM
idigmusic - You're obviously entitled to your opinion, but it isn't a matter of over-processing, built-up hype, or what a delusional diva Rose has become - this is not a GnR album. Yeah, a couple songs are solid, but are they solid from the point of view of a GnR/metal fan? Highly doubtful. I don't think Rose knew/knows who the audience for this album is, and any way you wanna look at it, GnR was a band, not a single individual who happens to have rights to the name and a few of the songs...
You also might wanna check out some additional music reviews from the "clown" - that cat knows his shit when it comes to music - a minor glitch reviewing an album by a band that has practically ceased to exist for almost two decades is forgivable...
Happy turkey day fuckers...
Posted by: Skitz at November 27, 2008 11:01 AM
yeah, guns n' roses. they aren't relevant anymore. i head the album the other day and i couldn't even laugh, it was so bad. but, let's put this in perspective. have you ever head of "eagles of death metal" - one of my favorite bands. they have a good time. they are relevant rock music. they were supposed to open for gnr for some goddamn reason, but got fired and called doves of shit metal by axl. so when you hear a piece of crap like this from the same guy, i dont know... i try not to let someones ego influence my opinion of their music, but fuck axl rose. its a shame theres a million retards out there that are gonna eat his shit up.
Posted by: farik at November 27, 2008 4:38 PM
I gotta say, I enjoy the different direction Kanye's new album takes. I would agree he might never recover the amazing freshness that "College Dropout" had; but I like to see musicians expand their repertoire....
Oh, Sabrina - great quote from 30 Rock... and I too love Love Lockdown. It sounds more like something I'd expect to hear from a Bjork song than a Kanye song... I've actually forced myself not to listen to it as I'm spending Thanksgiving alone and am feeling rather pathetic :-p
Posted by: Nkem at November 27, 2008 10:48 PM
Ha, it's funny how this works out...
I was Best Buy the other day, and they had this huge display for Chinese Democracy. I mean that: FUCKIN' HUGE, right near the entrance so dumb fucks who bought into the hype early on would fall prey to it.
They had both vinyl and CD forms of the album. I have never seen an album in vinyl form at Best Buy. So I picked it up, looked at it questionably, and said to my friend, "Does anyone really still care about Guns N' Roses anymore?"
I know they were fuckin' phenomenal, and owned the rock world when they were on top...but that's the thing: They WERE. Axl has pushed everyone away, and excluding Buckethead, everything comes off as splinters in my ears.
(Yeah, I love me some Buckethead. Listen to Acoustic Shards, and you'll see what I'm talkin' 'bout.)
Be that as it may, whether Axl was compelled to release the album on account of pressure from labels or the fans or what have you, I fail to see that it had a fighting chance given the circumstances of how Rose has deteriated (?) over the years, and once again, has no original member returning to the long-awaited album. Hell, even if Slash, just Slash, came back, maybe it would've made the difference between what could've been to what it ended as. Fuck, I didn't even know it was even released until I saw it that day at Best Buy.
That, and, Axl just a dick in general. He strikes me as the Kanye West of the rock world: overhyped and overappreciated. I know there will be plenty of people who'll kiss his dick and say that Democracy was the return of Guns N' Roses the rock world needed. That's a given. And say what you will about the credibility of Pajiba reviewing music, but apart from the hiccup of confusion over Slash being present, it was told how it is: few things worth the listen, but overall dross of the product that maybe could've been worthwhile.
And fuck Kanye West. I hate that little bitch with a passion of the christ. Perhaps his ability to come off as such a crybaby bitch fucktard who thinks he's the Jesus of hip-hop (hell, I think he quoted himself on that, and I do remember that cover of Rolling Stone he did) prevents me from enjoying anything he does. Lemme put it this way: The people who want to do all those things to that idiot child actor in Ace Ventura Jr., I would do all those things to Kanye West.
I mean it. I hate that motherfucker.
God, I'm angry...I won't comment on a stomach teetering between "full" and "holy shit---I'm gonna worf all up in the bathtub, 'cause the toilet has overflown. With my vomit."
And on that note, HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!! Somewhere in Turkey Heaven, there's a bird cursing you and your family members' name! :D
Posted by: Riley at November 27, 2008 10:52 PM
Axl is pronounced "ass-ol," isn't it?
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 28, 2008 10:40 AM
Who cares? There're way too many rumors coming out each day. Who knows which one is true and which one is not. It's said britney is now on(*^__^*)... W e a l t h y B e a u t y . c o m ...(*^__^*)finding her son a new father.
Posted by: lawerence at November 28, 2008 11:07 PM
hey guys, Axl Rose went to my high school and is my friend Sam's godfather. no joke. my painting teacher, one of the best guys i've ever met, had Axl back in the day and said he was a huge douchebag. seems like not a lot has changed.
Posted by: paquito at November 29, 2008 2:00 PM
I bought the thing and said WTF at about 3/4 of the songs, but there are a few that stand out well. Bu the best capsule review I've seen or heard about it was what my wife said when she heard it:
"He sounds like Marilyn Manson."
Which is absolutely, positively, 100% true. For most of the album, it sounds like Axl's squirrel is hiding up in the treehouse while Doug Bradley tells them about the sights he has to show them.
It's not a bad album, but it's certainly not contemporary. About 15 years too late, it would have had a much better reception had it come out in the mid-to-late 1990's, when Korn, Marilyn Manson, and Trent Reznor were riding the wave of fame through synthesized vocals. Back then, it would have been contemporary. Now, it's just dated.
Posted by: longcoat000 at December 1, 2008 5:43 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed 2/3 of the Renaissance, but for serious, 9/10 of Kanye's new one. Took me a couple of repeats but the album is just an insanely good listen.
I also liked the vintage Jack Donoughy
Posted by: tdehr at December 2, 2008 11:09 AM
Well the band really shouldn't have been called Guns and Roses, it really should have had a new name. Velvet Revolver had more justification for being called Guns and Roses.
Also, do some more research next time. You really should know who's in what band if you're reviewing music, but I'll cut slack since the music department's new.
Posted by: George at December 4, 2008 5:30 PM
Wow!!!! This place has absolutely NO credibility at ALL. First of all, Chinese Democracy is an amazing album. This review praised the worst tracks (which are still good) on the album and bashed the best ones.??? Plus, SLASH is NOT IN THE BAND ANYMORE you idiot!!!! WOW!!! JUST..... WOW!!!
Posted by: jorge at December 11, 2008 11:57 PM
Most of you are full of it. Stop being so detail orientated and just listen. It's not the best, but it is very good. I will agree that I did not care that much the first time I listened, but it did grow on me afterwords. The whole CD has it's inner qualities that everyone has to look past Slash and origional members. Bucket head is a beast on guitar. If you have doubts, look on youtube. This album is not a disapointment, but one that will be seen in the future as a true GnR album. Not the best, but very good. It reminds me more of Use Your Illusion.
Posted by: Yogi at January 2, 2009 1:06 AM
Let me start by saying that I have gone through loads of reviews and as a GnR fan since Appetite I dare say the words; GnR fans are way too devided. Those who are on Axl's side, those who favor Slash and those who don care abt either but the music they listen to. There are also stories about how Axl wanted to be the controller and the reasons why Slash and the gan left. The bottom line is who the f*ck cares??? It has always been about the music hasn' it?
As for the review; I have listened to the album throughly for more than 30 times now and what I can tell is, without names and labels any fan of the GnR genre will easily gel into the notes and feel the joy missing for the last 14 years. Song after song it ignites memories and gives you what you have been waiting for all this time. Axl's voice with the rhythms spicific to GNR.
However, I simply doubt if anyone without a past time experience with the band would understand the underlying beauty of each and every song. In fact as hard as I try to bring out a song I would press next to, I fail to name one. Each one has its character and swinging tune.
It is true however that the Slash-Axl's voice interaction is missing and I craved for a part where guitar and Axl's unique voice go on replying to each others notes but well you can't have it all ;-)
On the other hand though I found the multiple guitar idea of Axl's intriguing. Five guitars at times have added a new flavor that I utterly enjoy.
Madagascar track & the part "What we've got here is failure to communicate", present also in Civil War, was nostalgic.
"This I Love" track is breath taking with his magical voice and the guitar pieces and Prostitute is a nice ending song with the fading away notes.
Any GNR fan who does not own this album already and not enjoying it, is a liar in disguise!! This is GNR.
In the end I must say that we have had our favorite guitarist, Slash playing for Velvet Revolver (which I think is a waste since they don play the type needed to bring out Slash's best) and now here is Axl at his best. I for one missed the amazing spirit of such tunes. I have no idea why such music ain't produced no more. (Even Metallica have lost their old time tunes)
This album doesn' lack anything and is more than a GNR fan could have expected. It makes me hope there'll be another album in maybe 5 years???
Posted by: Bingala at January 3, 2009 7:18 AM
