Pajiba

While I might hold out a glimmer of hope for Children of Men (without Clive???), the rest is zzzzzzz...........

I'll try to remain positive, but I'm not going to be even remotely optimistic unless and until given a reason.

I can print that out and hang it over my desk.

I don't care how far-fetched or contrived it may seem - I am absolutely giddy over the possible return of Sara on Prison Break. Yes, the show is ridiculous, but I'm invested, and I wouldn't object to some more hot doctor/convict action.

The man is so handsome,I like him very much.I saw him on "SeekingRich.com",too.On "SeekingRich.com",there are many beautiful girls and rich,handsome men,they want to find more friends,find their lover.On that website,they make friends each other.Maybe he want to make more friends.If you come to the website,too.Many wonderful are waiting for you.It is true,come on!

"The Mentalist" stars Simon Baker as a crime solver with heightened skills of observation

Oh, you mean Monk? Or Psych? Or CSI? God, I love it when networks line up innovative, original programming. It makes me so happy.

Also: Is the spambot talking about a dirty Clive Owen, or Seth?

What country are the Spambots from? Do they speak English? I tried running that through a translator

HEY! No one told me we were doing another April Fools Joke, you pricks!

Wait... the Knight Rider thing is for real? Ray Romano too?

Aw, balls.

What country are the Spambots from? Do they speak English? I tried running that through a Spambot to English translator and it just came out:

Der Mann ist, also stattlich, mag ich ihn sehr. Ich sah ihn auf " SeekingRich.com" , auch. Auf " SeekingRich.com" , gibt es viele schönen Mädchen und reiche, stattliche Männer, möchten sie mehr Freunde finden, finden ihren Geliebten. Auf dieser Web site bilden sie Freunde. Möglicherweise möchte er mehr Freunde bilden. Wenn du zur Web site kommst, auch. Viele wundervollen warten dich. Es ist, angeht zutreffend!

Many wonderful are waiting for you.

You'd think they could at least avoid Engrish...

OK, I apologize. On hindsight, I shouldn't give the spambots more. Bad idea.

Children of Men without Clive Owen? I think not, my friend. I. THINK. NOT!

I can't even comment on the rest of the crap because it's...um...well...CRAP!

Zee mun is su hundsume-a,I leeke-a heem fery mooch.I sev heem oon "SeekeengRich.cum",tuu.Oon "SeekeengRich.cum",zeere-a ere-a muny beooteeffool gurls und reech,hundsume-a mee,zeey vunt tu feend mure-a freeends,feend zeeur lufer.Oon thet vebseete-a,zeey meke-a freeends iech oozeer.Meybe-a he-a vunt tu meke-a mure-a freeends.Iff yuoo cume-a tu zee vebseete-a,tuu.Muny vunderffool ere-a veeeting fur yuoo.It is trooe-a,cume-a oon! Bork Bork Bork!

Marra, I believe they are one in the same? Spambots make me chortle... I mean, where's the ad research that says random comment postings in completely off-topic sites will attract people to their own? These kid's today with their web logs.

And Elisha Cuthbert filling the shoes of Rashida Jones? I've never seen the original but I feel like that's just kinda sad. Then again it's kind of just sad seeing Rashida in the promos for that fox "unhitched" or whatever.

And that "Kings" show is at least intriguing to see how they'd modernize some aspects. I mean King David having an affair with a married woman is pretty easy to do... But Saul requesting that David go and get 100 foreskins of Philistines to win Saul's daughter's hand in marriage. And then David coming back with 200? Yea. How do you modernize that shizz?

I'm optimistic about "Children of Men", but I didn't read the book so I'm not sure what the movie changed. The movie was so good it left me wanting more stories set in that world and that's a rare thing. I felt the same way about "Eastern Promises", one of the few movies that begs for a sequel and will probably never get one.

Ok, so how much of yesterday's debacle was fake? Seemed that there were some lovely people coming out of the woodwork to trash on everybody. I figured out the Pajiba staff were mock fighting, but what about some of the other more vile comments?

I've actually come to think of the spambots as strange, irreverant commenters. You know, people who are a little crazy, but now feel like part of our community. You know, Skittimus, Pookie, Spambot, Julie... they're all special.

That *is* a bit scary. Doctor Who will be over, Battlestar'll probably be in a writing/shooting hiatus, and that's assuming those new seasons are really good, and then in another month or two my age will increase. I certainly hope the rest of my life is entertaining after the summer movies run out!

(Rob, it's all explained in yesterday's Pajiba Love)

BWeaves: "What country are the Spambots from? "

Obviously they are not from a German speaking country.

Meh. TV sucks-again. Everything's finally back to normal. Anyone up for some Cubed-Buddah-Sangria?

This has just filled me with a sense of hopelessness. There is not one interesting tidbit in the entire roundup (no reflection on you, Seth; you rock) but the upside is that I now have no excuse for not watching BSG on DVD. May as well buy the second season of Deadwood while I'm at it.

If everybody's special... than nobody is.

*bursts some third grader's bubble*

Rob - everything you saw from the staff and the regulars was fake. Also, a lot of the commenters whose name you'd never seen before = also fake/us using fake names. Worry not, the vileness was in jest.

My baiting TK with my hatred of the Red Sox was real. VERY real.

Hey, the Yanks won a good game last night. I am going to cry my eyes out when they knock the Stadium down.

Well, I'm glad that I'm not the only one who was worn out from faking it.

Comments, that is.

Ian McShane- Hell Yes; Bible- Not so much. Either way, I'll be there.

Oh....and the thing that is Prison Break. Literally the only TV show that I actually turn on my TV to watch. 30 Rock, The Office, all watch on the internet; Prison Break, turn on my TV and hit the up button until I reach 100. Just wondering, wasn't the last song played at the end of the season when Michael was driving into the sunset the Spanish song off of Mulholland Drive? Yes, I love Prison Break and all the cheese that surrounds it and I am not afraid to go to the top of a mountain and profess my love for it.

Emily: The song was "Llorando" (or "Crying") on Prison Break, and yes...it was from Mulholland Drive. That's my favorite scene of the entire movie and when I heard it on PB I admit I got a bit teary (wow I am dreadfully lame).

twig FTW!

Hey, if TV sucks this fall, then maybe I can spackle the den.

The new season of Wire in the Blood is on BBCAmerica starting Sunday! Anyone? Robson Green? Serial killers? Violence? Good acting? Anyone? Anyone? Oh, fuck it.

Cuaron should have won Best Director for Children of Men? You realize you're saying he should have beaten Scorsese for The Departed right? Is that statement even remotely defensible?

Your shit is officially cracked.

Robson Green, droooooooooooooooooool!!!!

Thanks

The Departed was good but it was a remake.

Children of Men was not only better than the films nominated that year; it was the best film of the year. Yes, Cuaron should have beaten Scorsese that year.

I'd read the book Children of Men before seeing the movie, and most of what they changed were updates so that the movie would seem more contemporary, and adjusting the narrative so that it would be more cinematic. They kind of condensed the characters as well. Still, I don't know how the tv series would work since there's a definite end to the action in the book.

Vishnu help me, I need to find out when Battlestar starts airing here in Ireland. Or if it does. *sigh*

"I love Children of Men -- really great movie, and one for which Alfonso Cuaron should've won the directing Oscar"

Really?! Over MARTIN SCORSESE? Really? This doesn't make any damn sense. Especially given that the Best Director usually tracks Best Picture, this has to mean that a)Children of Men is better than The Departed or b)Cuaron massively outshined Scorsese to the extent that an unusual bifurcation would make sense--which, given that Scorsese's win was as much about his body of work as about The Departed itself, really means Cuaron has to be FUCKING SPECTACULAR.

I just don't think that a movie in which the woman holding the key to future civilization is named "Kee," and in which the hero can walk in a straight line across an open field without ever getting hit, is really THAT much of a slam dunk for the director. Color desaturation only gets you so far!

You know, people who are a little crazy, but now feel like part of our community. You know, Skittimus, Pookie, Spambot, Julie... they're all special.

This had me giggling at my desk for the past five minutes. You evil bastard.

Twig, I will love you forever for speaking in Swedish Chefese. Bork indeed.

I honestly can't say which movie I liked better, The Departed or Children of Men. My favorite aspect of CoM was the cinematography, and for The Departed it was the performances. Both movies blew me away though.

Calling the Departed a remake is a little simplistic given that it's actually an amalgamation of two different movies and adds a significant plot element (female romance/crossover between Damon and DiCaprio) as well as two entire thematic elements (relationship to the city of Boston/Catholicism of the principles).

Furthermore calling Children of Men a great movie or the best movie of that year is patently absurd. Given that it was so ham-handed as to actually name the woman who holds the "key to civilization" "Kee" I have no idea how it can even pretend to be subtle.

And don't even get me started on Clive Owen jogging slowly in straight lines across open fields and somehow not getting shot.

Children of Men was essentially the television show "Jeremiah" in reverse. And let's be honest, Jeremiah wasn't that good to begin with.

"My favorite aspect of CoM was the cinematography, and for The Departed it was the performances."

That's why the Oscars distinguish between "Best Cinematography" and "Best Director."

Heh-I realize that Georgia, I wasn't designating them as reasons why either should have won Best Picture, I was stating why I liked them.

Going with my gut, I'd say The Departed. That movie stayed with me for days.

I think saying Children of Men was the best movie of the year rings false the same way that it always feels wrong when someone tells you that "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" is their favorite Western even though everytime you come over they're watching "Hondo."

Yeah I don't feel that good about Children of Men as a TV series. Sounds kind of like taking a decent bottle of single malt whisky and diluting it with a few buckets of water. Probably pond water. Ok, crap analogy, but whatever. It'll never work.

And call me pathetic but I'm well excited that Sara's coming back... no matter how cute Wentworth Miller is when he's sad.

I dig Simon Baker, so I might be cehcking out "The Mentalist". But then again, I might not, since I despise Robin Tunney. Whotta dilema!

The Spambots are, in fact, well... all right, picture Sloth from "The Goonies" bolted to a wall with only a laptop and a 40-watt bulb keeping them company... How do I know this? Because me too was Spambot finding love on www.iwasformermillionairespambot.com. Check out, I was such a beautiful matching.

Gumble - if every episode next season was a continuous loop of Michael and Sara making out on a train, I'd be a satisfied woman.

Skitt, if the Spambot is Sloth, does that make me Chunk? :( Can I be Andie?!

By the way, could anyone living in Great Britain please inform the British TV and movie writers/producers that there are more places in the United States than New York, LA and Texas? I just found out that Wire in the Blood did an episode in America - in Texas. Texas is not representative of Middle America. People in other parts of the country do not talk, dress, and act like people in Texas. For fuck's sake, in Love Actually the guy flies into Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and one of the girls he meets is wearing a motherfucking COWBOY HAT AND BOOTS. People in Milwaukee (1000 miles away from Texas, by the way) do not wear cowboy hats and boots unless they are in some piece of shit country bar line dancing and drinking Coors Light. So the next time a British movie or TV show depicts the United States, could they possibly NOT use New York, LA or Texas? (Chicago doesn't count - it comes off as New York with a different funny accent and the Sears Tower).

Also, please feel free to trash the way American film and TV portrays Great Britain and Europe. I know it's just as bad if not 100x worse.

Georgia, Sirkickyass - ease up, folks. It's an opinion. He's entitled. Personally, I have yet to see Children of Men, and I absolutely LOVE The Departed, but I would certainly not deny anyone the right to like another movie more.

TK...i can't believe you left me off your short list. I may have to take back my lepus pledge.

OO!! I want to be Mouth. Cuz I secretly want to be Corey Feldman.

Kolby - given the list of poo reviewed above, I'd pretty much watch any show if it were nothing but a solid half-hour of two folks making out on a train... No soundtrack either, just sloppy smooching sounds...

Don't laugh - that could win an Emmy, y'know....

Come on now PissBoy, you'd be Mama Fratelli. No Feldman for you!

Godtopus can be the giant octopus from the deleted scenes.

Pissboy, you're so goddamned deranged, it doesn't need mentioning. You're like a (demented) institution around here.

You know how there's that spot between "tipsy" and "shit-faced" where suddenly your motor skills are almost supernaturally enhanced, your vision clears, and you feel that you can do anything, but won't try because you still have enough sense to know that even if you could catch it with you bare hand, trying to find someone who would toss you a penny off the top of the empire state building at this hour is just ludicrous? You know, the drunken Zen?

Well maybe the writer's strike was TV's drunken moment of Zen. But it just had to have that 7th shot of patron, and now it's turned an unnatural shade of red, and it's slapping its cheeks screaming "DUDE, I CAN'T FEEL MY FUCKING FACE! FEEL IT! CAN YOU FEEL MY FUCKING FACE?!"

"Godtopus can be the giant octopus from the deleted scenes."

Wait... what?

[runs out to buy DVD]

Thanks TK

And yeah...the octopus. Don't you remember the interview with the reporter when they hit the beach at the end and Data says "The Octopus was vewy scawy." Then brand says "Yeah...when we found the pirate ship."

Definitely and rightfully deleted. They got rid of it by playing Cyndi Lauper on headphones that Data put over its head. But shame on you for not already OWNING that DVD. i bet you don't have Monster Squad either. Your urge for nostalgia is poop.

Hee! J_Capri, I love that feeling. That's usually when I decide that another beer or glass of wine would be a marvelous idea and then procede to pass out, reheat pizza, or sing Tori Amos songs in the car with my best friend until his battery dies (ahem...this did not happen on Saturday).

And that reminded me of my favoritest line from Can't Hardly Wait: "I can't feel my legs. I have no legs!!

I'm taking sides with Jerce on this one. I think Children of Men was overlooked, especially in the editing and cinematography departments. The ambush in the car scene peeled my brain right out of its skull. Maybe not best director, but I was certainly more blown away overall by the film than anything else that year.

Perhaps it was my empathy with Kee and her child, perhaps it was the heart-sick feeling that the futuristic vision in the movie was not that unrealistic, but Children of Men clung to me for much longer than did The Departed. I don't know, but I felt it wasn't Scorsese's strongest work; it lacked, in my opinion, a strong sense of directorial style or statement. Kind of played out more like an HBO made-for-tv movie.

As far as the Oscars not giving Best Director to the winner of Best Picture- Ang Lee Brokeback Mountain. The Academy isn't always so consistent.

I cannot be the only one who prefers Dominic Purcell to Wentworth. Can't.

Is Wire in the Blood worth a first try this late in the game?

"i bet you don't have Monster Squad either. Your urge for nostalgia is poop."

Motherfucker, you take that back RIGHT NOW. Monster Squad is a national treasure and holds a place of HONOR on my shelf.

HOW DARE YOU, SIR?!

Aww, I don't own Monster Squad either. I loved that movie so damn much growing up, but I honestly can't remember anything about it.

And yes, the octopus scene is stupid. And fake. It looks like Jabba the Hut banged Ganesh and had a really ugly baby.

The missing octopus was in the novelization of the movie too, which I read continuously until the cover fell off and I had to ham-fistedly staple back together.

I LOVED The Goonies. It became rather like a sickness.

You realize you're saying he should have beaten Scorsese for The Departed right?

Well, someone should've. I'm not the biggest fan of Children of Men, but that was Scorsese's lifetime achievement award, not the Best Director Award. I don't know why I even bother discussing the Oscars, given what a fucking joke they are, but somehow it still gets me wound up.

Julie, if you don't kill at least one car battery with Tori Amos during a drunken zen, then it isn't drunken zen. It's just friendly chatting.

It's an unwritten rule. Like how Sunday afternoons and Halloween are the only times you can purposefully dress like a homeless scrubbing bum.

Dear TK,

Come quick. There's monsters.

Eugene

That is all. Apologies on the callout TK. Just had to be sure.

PissBoy, should I rewatch Monster Squad first or see Casablanca?

I keed, I keed :)

J_Capri, it's more than zen, it's SAD.

No, Pissboy! Scary house! Real monsters! Us, twelve years old, remember?

...

"It looks like Jabba the Hut banged Ganesh and had a really ugly baby."

Well, now I'm REALLY fucking sold on it.

...

Also, it's worth mentioning that for years, one of my internet pseudonyms was Chester Copperpot. Does that help restore my Goonies cred?

Socalled are you of the same opinion as me that the world of 'Oscar' will change when the current ruling body becomes worm food? Then, the closed-minded ninnies tht run the show will no longer have a say in what's deserving and what's not? It was politics that kept Brokeback... from winning. In fact...politics are the same way. Generations die and then change occurs.

and TK...Warm up the Zombies. Your cred is restored and my bunnies are gettin' jumpy.

What the hell ever happened to Kerri Green? She was so cute!

Yes. Because that's awesome.

I should stop posting as Julie and start going by Truffle Shuffle.

She's still cute! You can see her on the commentary :)

Julie:

[lifts up shirt, shakes belly]

Oh TK, don't tease a girl when she's at work and can't do anything about it.

[does the same]

Actually I've never seen "The Monster Squad". I saw "Back to the Beach" that week instead, and I didn't think these kids were going to be more effective or interesting than the Frog brothers so I just never bothered.

Superman IV, Police Academy IV, these I saw as well, though I don't know if they're quite as defensible as "The Lost Boys"

Or defensible at all. But this is the only place I've even heard people mention "The Monster Squad" in 20 years. Is there a big cult audience out there I've never known of?

Rusty: the best information I can find is that Sky One will start airing the fourth season on the 15th.

Maybe some of our cousins overseas can tell us where the US version of The IT Crowd is. The UK show is just great, and the second season unbelievably funny. Richard Ayoade is supposed to play the same role (Maurice Moss) in both the UK & US...but not a peep from NBC lately. Gotta go, "There's someone at the door".

I have a confession to make:

I've never seen The Monster Squad.

The kicking of my ass may now commence.

Jay I don't think there's as big a cult for Monster Squad as there is for, say, Evil Dead...but it's one of those "if you saw it and loved it as a kid then it's a part of you forever" movies. Like Goonies. Or Willow.

...or The Gate. Heh.

Oh and can I kill Tori Amos with a car battery instead?

Mind you, I already disliked her, then she goes and calls herself a librarian for the hell of it while I'm still rotting in book retail with an MLS gathering dust. That was untoward! It was not toward!!

Harbor grudges, me?

I sometimes feel like Neil Gaiman has this girlfriend I can't stand but there's no point in raising the matter and telling him to get away from her already so I just have to tolerate it.

Am I the only one who really didn't get into Children of Men? It just felt like another apocalyptic movie to me. The only part that really affected me was when the baby was born. Everyone's reaction to that was incredibly moving, but everything else...it was just ok.

Jay, Monster Squad is one of those wonderfully original kids movies - it's kind of like Goonies... but with Vampires and werewolves. It actually holds up well, and is definitely worth seeing.

Thanks LUX. I was watching the end of the season (which turned out pretty good- God, can't wait for some more Theodore action), and I thought they just pulled out some Mulholland Drive on our ass. Must admit that I also got a little teary at the end. Oh Prison Break, how I love thee.

Wow Julie...The Gate. I effing LOVE that movie. I can remember that being one of like, 3 movies that ever scared me as a child. The kid in the wall, when he gets stabbed int he eye with the shard of mirror freaks me the fuck out, as did the little gremlin things, and then when the kid peels his mom's face off. AWESOME!!

And Kerri Green tops the list of "Where are they now?" femal celebrities i crushed on as a child that I would still drill into the floor today. Definitely on the list of top redheads for me as well. not top 5. but definitely top 10.

while I'm still rotting in book retail with an MLS gathering dust.

Aww, Jay, that sucks. Excellent use of a 30 Rock quote though :)

And the "What do you want to do when it's all over?" style interview with Frankenstein on the Monster Squad DVD is awesome!

Socalled are you of the same opinion as me that the world of 'Oscar' will change when the current ruling body becomes worm food? Then, the closed-minded ninnies tht run the show will no longer have a say in what's deserving and what's not?

Guh, I sure hope so, but I lack any confidence about that. Fifty years ago they weren't giving out legitimate awards half the time either. I think the problem is the way that it's put together, so that politics will always infect the process. I don't claim to have a solution, I just know that The Departed, which I greatly enjoyed, and (dare I?) Crash were not Best Pictures nor Best Directed. Departed was skillfully made and very entertaining, and not remotely in the same league as Scorsese's other work -- very derivative of numerous mob/police thriller/undercover cop films. The double secret agent thing was a nice twist, for certain. I won't bore everyone with Crash-hate.

I love it too PissBoy, I still get freaked out when the friend comes out of the wall and bites little bitty Dorff on the hand. :)

I was terrified of the gremlin thingies as a kid, I used to watch the crack at the bottom of the door to my bedroom to make sure they weren't coming in.

Fuck.Me.Running.

I TOTALLY forgot that was lil'Dorff playing the kid!!!! Holy shit! This makes that movie that much more awesome! That...and the actual 'playing the record backwards opens the gate to hell' thing. Then...they just have to read some lyrics to attempt to close it. Oh yeah....i am buying that shit RIGHT now on amazon. And what's more awesome than awesome?? Search for 'The Gate' after selecting DVD in the search bar...and Monster Squad comes up on the same list.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-5978663-3859137?url=search-alias%3Ddvd&field-keywords=the+gate

I feel like I missed out. I never saw 'The Gate' or 'Monster Squad'. I was too obsessed as a kid over Jim Hensons shit like The Dark Crystal and crushing on the Goblin king Jareth in Labyrinth.

I will be buying it on Amazon as well PissBoy. Thanks for the link.

Kolby - Oh god yes. They could maybe throw in a few prison infirmary bits too for good measure. And maybe a cabin in the woods in Panama. Yes, I memorised all the kisses in Prison Break. Yes, I am a complete loser.

Three-nineteen - I was gonna say, I think we're as guilty as each other for mis-portraying our respective countries. The American film view of Britain seems to be either London or the immediately surrounding countryside. And everyone speaks the queen's English (probably as annoying to us as our crap Texan/New York accents are to you), lives in charming ivy-covered cottages and wears some combination of tweed and wellies everywhere. Just once I'd like to see an American film featuring the arse end of Birmingham... Or Yorkshire or Scotland. Godtopus' own country :D

Ha ha! I can't see Stephen Dorff without thinking of The Gate. :) Now I want to buy it.

My old boss just told me that she just saw Lauren Graham filming a scene on 2nd St...how sadass fangirly of me would it be to run down the street to see her in person? Very? ...I love her.

And Cindy, I know one person who prefers Dominic Purcell. She dressed up as him at a fancy dress party actually...

First, to Seth (and no, I'm not just having a conversation with myself ... at least, not this time) - NBC has no current plans/intentions to air the US version of "The IT Crowd," which is why you've heard nothing. Don't hold your breath.

Second, to many of you - I never said I thought Children of Men was a better movie than The Departed (though I could make the argument if pushed), I just said that Cuaron deserved Best Director. And he did. I think Scorsese's direction was good, but the fact of the matter is, almost everything I liked from a directing standpoint was in the original, often times almost note for note. That does not a Best Director make, in my book.

Oh! "The Gate"'s that movie that had the words spelled out over that hole in the hillside or something, right? I've never even been sure what it's about, other than, well, there's obviously some bad shit in that hole. Just always been a sun-faded vhs box. Interesting.

Yeah, 2004 was a lot of "but you're not already working in a library" "yyyyeah, that's what I applied here" "well, we can't have *that*" Then when I was finally able to leave Borders I discovered I'd been excellently conditioned and had been working much harder than this job that pays so much better. I would stun people saying "we had to put everything back on the shelf every night before we could go home". I felt like that guy in the old TV movie about the American team that went to the first modern Olympics who'd been shot put training with a small cannonball and smirked when he discovered how light the real one was.

Yes, I'm probably the only person who even watched that movie.

I'm still really amused about GMC telling Will Arnett, "hey, buddy, you can't be the voice of no fuckin Mustang!". And who knew Will Arnett was the voice of GMC trucks? Stealthy bastard.

I won't bore everyone with Crash-hate.

You know, I watched Crash a weekend or two ago. It came up on Husband™'s queue (he does NOT listen to ANYTHING I say about movies). And I actually DIDN'T hate it...until about the last third.

Up until about the last third, the script actually had some good lines; the performances were pretty fucking good (Don Cheadle, I love you) and I was actually interested.

And then the whole movie takes a turn for the toilet and you find yourself sitting there just waiting for it to end. And it...just...won't.

Oh, and Goonies is the shit.

Wow...and it seems Tibor Takacs peaked with The Gate and it's been a steady stream of Stephen Balwin/Tia Carrere staight-to-DVD wonderfulness since.

Peaking with The Gate....

Is that like being the hot chick in elementary school? You know...the first one into a training bra who figures out that the high bangs and the perms aren't such a good idea. You know the girl. She always smelled like candy. Gave plenty of guys the '...and then she unzipped her jumper' fantasies. But that was it. that was the good year. From there...it just got worse and worse and by high school, she was giving hand-jobs to anyone who would go out with her and flirting with the janitor?

Although i must say...Tibor's 2008 release Mega Snake sounds intriguing because it's probably about a big snake. And if I order in the next 5 hours...I can have it at my doorstep tomorrow!!!

You know the girl. She always smelled like candy.

Ah ha ha! And peaking with The Gate IS like being the hot girl in grade school. Though I wouldn't know about being that girl, I had braces and glasses and didn't get what little boobs I have till college. :)

"Though I wouldn't know about being that girl, I had braces and glasses"

Yes Julie!! I had the whole braces, glasses and perm going on in grade school!! Although I got tricked into the perm, my older sister took me out to the mall for the day and we somehow ended up at my cousins' hair school where she was student and it just happened to be the day they were being tested on perms and she needed a real live person to practice on. The best part? She dropped out of hair school about a month later but I was stuck with permed hair for about a year.

I just checked out Tibor Takacs on imdb...and I'm in love. Ice Spiders?! Mansquito??!! Only a brilliant filmmaker would attach their name to suck masterpieces.

HA! SucH masterpieces. Freudian slip!

Ice Spiders?! Mansquito??!!

And I'm prouuuud to be a Hungarian...!

Hee, Wormer, that is tragic. :) I luckily never caved in to the allure of The Perm (cue the Psycho score), but my fifth grade picture is SO BAD and SO NOTORIOUS that on my 20th birthday my girlfriends in college stole it from my mother, blew it up, taped it to a pin the tale on the donkey game, and hung it outside my dorm room.

We later played Pin the Tail on the Julie. Good times.

TAIL!

[Stupid fast typing, grumble grumble, stupid homophones]

Ice Spiders was fucking ROBBED by the Academy that year. Bunch of fucking jerks.

no news about the Zelda movie? The trailer is makin the rounds on you tube... I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. I hope this is all a big joke... but:


http://movies.ign.com/dor/articles/863515/legend-of-zelda-movie-trailer/videos/legendofzelda_filmtrailer_040108.html

At least yours had to be stolen from your mother. Mine, complete with braces and perm, was actually made into a tile and put up permanently on the wall of my old elementary school. It's even protected from vandalizing school kids (me) from scratching out the face with a thick plastic cover.

Okay, seriously? Nobody here at work knows why I'm laughing and giggling so much to myself...because when I stammer out "Goonies" and "Vampires", they look at me blankly. I gotta get some cooler coworkers...

I never saw Monster Squad or the Gate. Is that wrong? I did watch the hell out of Willow, Labrynth, the Last Unicorn, Goonies, Neverending Story (only the first one)...Looks like I got more to add to my netflix and/or amazon queue.

PissBoy...I knew that girl. I was best friends with her throughout high school, as she'd come to me to tell me about her conquests and "omigod you won't believe what I just did in the janitor's closet" stories....I ended up really, really hating her. Bitch. Remember, kids...the difference between a bitch and a slut is that a bitch will sleep with everybody except you...

"Just once I'd like to see an American film featuring the arse end of Birmingham... Or Yorkshire or Scotland. Godtopus' own country"

Gumble -- The problem is that people here have barely heard of, let alone been to, any non-major metropolitan area. Fuck, Hollywood thinks that Vancouver looks just like Montana, Tennessee, and Florida. It's just that I go to British shows to get away from stuff like that on American TV, and now it's fucking following me.

Wow, I've been saying fuck a lot today. Fuckity-fuck-bloody-fuck.

Wait - you mean that Vancouver and Orlando aren't the same place? My mind is officially blown.

*blink blink*

I was born in the mid-80's, I grew up in the early 90's, I have fond memories of "Are You Afraid of the Dark" and "Pete and Pete" and have no fucking clue what any of you are talking about once you moved past "The Goonies".

I'll show myself out.

(P.S - Thanks to Jay for the Battlestar info! I have two weeks to try and talk my roommates around the "ok, it's a show about people in space and robots that look like people in space but it's REALLY GOOD" topic)

I never saw Monster Squad or the Gate. Is that wrong?

YES. The Gate is the definition of cheesey 80's horror movie awesomeness. Seriously, buy a case of beer, drink the whoooole thing, and rent this movie. You will regret nothing but your pounding headache.

[puts feet up on desk and counts the minutes until the coversation turns toward Rad]

Rad? Psht....I was wondering when someone would mention Little Monsters!

Julie, I will do exactly that...but woe to you if I don't enjoy! Woe I say!

You dare to psht Rad???? The Ass-slide? The BMX bikery? The hair?

I was wondering when someone would mention Little Monsters!

EEEE!!! Little Monsters! I love that movie. Howie Mandel with horns! The Savage brothers together! Pissing in apple juice! And my favorite quote: "A man's best friend...his right hand!"

Yeah, I pshted (wait, what?) Rad. Nowhere near as cool as they wanted it to be. Plus...didn't really like it.

I never cared for Little Monsters. I feel the same way about it as I do Drop Dead Fred. Piles of crap.

Well, in all fairness...Drop Dead Fred was piles of crap...

That's why I love it Kolby. For its excess crapulence :p

Three-nineteen - Yeah, I think they can just about locate Scotland but after that Britain consists only of London.

If you're looking for decent British TV that won't make you want to kick something I'd go for the comedy - Black Books, Green Wing and Teachers in particular. Also Spaced. In fact anything with Simon Pegg and/or Dylan Moran. I'm afraid you lot ain't got nothing on us when it comes to a quality sitcom :P. Except Arrested Development, I'll give you that.

Admittedly Knight Rider was crap. Still, something about it entertained me and not in the way it was supposed to. It was unintentionally (!?) campy and I kind of liked seeing a good looking actor play dumb (I guess because he was) and then the not convincingly smart daughter-scientist and then that KITT-voice. The villains were so predictable and the whole thing just became hilarious.

I've actually seen it twice.

I liked it in the same way I love Starship Troopers, although in ST's case the reaction was intentional.

I had such a crush on Fred Savage. As a two/three year old I used to call him Bum Savitty (don't ask) and go absolutely nuts for him in everything. The Wonder Years, Little Monster, Princess Bride.....

You know, until Starship Troopers gets its well-deserved Pajibanization, my life will be missing something. Something important.

Wormer - don't forget The Boy Who Could Fly!!!

"...The Boy Who Could Fly!!!"

Oh goodness, how I loved that GODAWFUL movie. I have no idea why. There was nothing remotely good about it. Anyway, speaking of forgotten Fred Savage gems, wherefore art the love for The Wizard?

I read "The Children of Men" and enjoyed it. I'm kind of a sucker for fictional dystopian futures. I think it has potential as a television series. I haven't seen the movie. After reading all of the discussion today, I think perhaps I should rent it soon. However, I have seen "Casablanca."

"Are You Afraid of the Dark", now THAT is a classic. Never heard of the Goonies or anything else mentioned above. I feel so undereducated.

Rad - nothing beats slow-mo Lori Laughlin on the gym floor...bike dancing.

The Boy Who Could Fly and Little Monsters - Equally good Fred Savage child films. Anyone else remember when Rick Dukaman (sp?) used to be funny and do stand-up? The only other person's name I remember from BWCF is Griffin Dunn as the boy. But then there was that slutty chick who liked him, Fred's older sister. And I only call her a slut because she banged John Candy's oldest son in The Great Outdoors in a dingy in the middle of a lake...after less than a week. Whore.

And Koldy...Rad love has to be spread out to BMX Bandits as well...no???

Sorry bout the spelling Kolb...

I have to stop doing actual work at work. It's cramping my 'jiba style.

First, Julie, LG's in town? We need to find her and squee!

I never saw The Gate. I saw the Goonies several times, but can only remember certain parts. I vaguely recall Monster Squad. I was equal parts terrified and fascinated by Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal, and I adored The Neverending Story. And please don't bring up The Wizard. It frightens me so.

PissBoy - not to be that guy, but, uhm ... you're wrong. Griffin Dunn was not the Boy, it was Jay Underwood. And I only remember that because I loved (*luhrved*) the "Not Quite Human" books when I was a kid, and Underwood was also the robot Chip in the movies made from those books.

"But then there was that slutty chick who liked him, Fred's older sister. And I only call her a slut because she banged John Candy's oldest son in The Great Outdoors in a dingy in the middle of a lake...after less than a week. Whore."

Lucy Deakins. She was also in Cheetah.

...not that I've ever seen it.

Then who is Griffin Dunna and why did he pop into my head? Cuz the same dude in boy who could fly was also in that movie on Disney where he was a robot and Alan Thicke was his dad. Plus he was in that movie where that goo turned him invisible but only after the goo turned into powder because of the instant reaction when shat upon by a pidgeon. I'd imdb it but for some reason the software here is blocking it today saying 'erotica/porn' What movie is on the main page? It seems like that's what does it. Was Griffin Dunn the dude from that awful Madonna abortion of a movie 'Who's that Girl?'

Jay Underwood is in, like, every commercial these days. I saw him in a spot for Lending Tree, and he's in the Verizon commercial where the "Can you hear me now?" guy is in "labor." He's the guy to the Verizon Guy's right in the taxi cab.

Nicole - I have Labrynth at home right now. I may have to watch it tonight.

Kolby, I'm jealous. How awesome is David Bowie? I want to have a Labyrinth/Dark Crystal marathon.

Griffin Dunne is the guy from Who's That Girl? He was also in the werewolf movie.

And I'm calling myself out right now - I don't have Netflix.

Isn't Griffin Dunne the friend who gets torn apart in An American Werewolf in London? Also known as brother of the sister in Poltergeist who was murdered and director of Practical Magic.

re: Labyrinth and Dark Crystal

Best 2 DVDs I own as far as content. Got them both a few years ago in a hard cardboard booklet.
Both have HOURS of behind the scenes stuff and Stills from the movies. DC came with a miniturized version of the legal pad used in conceptualizing and writing the movie. AWESOME. They shit on the 2 versions out there right now. 3rd best DVD is the criterion Fear and Loathing...tis da bomb.

I've never seen Fear and Loathing either, and I worship Johnny Depp like I do Satan, Godtopus, and Pirate's Booty.

:skips over to Netflix queue:

Nicole...no NetFlix here either. i like to purchase. And by "werewolf movie" I think you mean American Werewolf in London which i can't BELIEVE I forgot about seeing as how that's one of my top favorite horror movies.

And I'll call it right now...I'll hos thte awesomeness that would be a double feature of Labyrinth and Dark Crystal in high def. The ladies seem to love the Bowie package in 1080p.

No, but Griffin Dunne was in "After Hours", a very very much overlooked 80s movie! Miles away from the Goonies though, but the same year I believe. I was so disappointed when he turned up in "Who's That Girl". You were the best guilty conscience ghost a werewolf could have but I can't follow you down that path, Griffin!

Never saw "Rad", have no opinion, but I was very irked when the word re-entered the vernacular a few years ago. Big pet peeve, don't know why.

I enjoyed "The Black Cauldron" when I saw it in the theater, but I hadn't read any of the Prydain books so that may have helped. Boy, has that movie got a stain on it, but I have no ill will. And I remember when the upcoming "Labyrinth" was the cover story on an issue of "Bantha Tracks". Those were the days. And talk of non-London/"Sandford" England reminds me I oughta round up some "Life On Mars" torrents already.

I want to have a Labyrinth/Dark Crystal marathon.

So fun. I recently watched Labyrinth, and god help me I'm still afraid of the Fire Gang. AND the skeksis..."I. Am. EMPEROR!

The ladies seem to love the Bowie package in 1080p.

That's because it's sooo...formidable :p

Jareth was my first crush. I'm actually contemplating buying a little 8inch "action figure" replica of Jareth from Labrynth at my local comic book store. Everything is in so much loving detail. Everything.

Ha ha ha! Wormer, then you can act all Dark Helmet and make it kiss a action figure of yourself.

Crackity Christmas, Julie! I was going to overlook the implication that you hadn't already been out to see "Sweeney Todd", but no contact with "Fear and Loathing" at all??? What am I gonna do with you?

I went twice...oh my...is it already ten years ago? Egad. The theaters were *not* crowded...as one can imagine. But it's fitting that it comes up since this week, starting with it being my turn to work the weekend, has had me in a very "WHAT, goddammit? YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!!" mood (you'll see what I mean) when, you know, kids ask me how to get to the Cartoon Network home page. I usually work through six days and have Friday off for a three day weekend, but they need me there this Friday and being off today is precisely what I needed to mellow out. And I'm gonna take a nap, cause I can! Wheeee!!

...has had me in a very "WHAT, goddammit? YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!!" mood

That's pretty much my mood every day, Jay. I am like an incandescent ray of sunshine and patience.

Julie - are you confusing Labrinth with The Dark Crystal?

Hee, no I know my Henson, I should have worded that better.

Skeksis=horrifying Dark Crystal puppets.
Fire Gang=horrifying Labyrinth puppets with awesome catchy song that I will now be singing allll night.

"When your thing gets wild chilly down chilly down with the fire gang..."

Being from Noo Zilland (that's how we locals say it) I am therefore qualified to comment on Outrageous Fortune, and can assure you its brilliant and snort-coffee-out-your-nose funny.

What I don't understand is this: why do you need to remake it? Why can't they just show the original series? Given the success of our Flight of the Conchords boys (this one time I stuck a gaffer tape moustache on Bret but that's a whole other story) and the fact they let me teach your undergrads, the language thing isn't a problem.... so I don't get it.

Please explain to the foreigner.

I think the difference is that Bret and Jemaine have come to America themselves, AND they're on cable. Importing a pre-existing show simply doesn't happen on the major broadcast networks. Let a cable channel do *that* shit, we take no one's sloppy seconds!!...they seem to say. Plus the US seems to be fairly unique in running seasons for 20-24 episodes and can't just have something run for a couple of months, or even just six weeks, and go away and be replaced by something else. The networks have their established, entrenched pattern and I suspect a lot of viewers would be bellowing "what are they changin everything around for?? I can't understand what these people are saying! I can't keep track of anything! It didn't used to be like this in this country!!!"

That would scare the shit out of someone like Jack Donaghy, for instance.

Ain't sayin it's right. No, Ma'am, but I think that's mostly why a simple transplant wouldn't happen.

I am like an incandescent ray of sunshine and patience.

On liquid crack, Sarina. What's your poison today?

I have a feeling I saw The Black Cauldron but don't remember it. Look, I was traumatized by seeing Jaws at the age of 4, ok? Many of my early cinematic adventures are hazy.

Somehow, Sarina, I just don't associate you with sunshine and patience. Call me crazy....but see you sitting in your cubicle, staring/glaring at someone right over the wall, unblinking, while weaving nooses out of rubber bands and paper clips.

I read the entire Prydain series. I so so so so loved those books. Lloyd Alexander introduced me to written fiction. And I have to say, even as bad as it sucked, The Black Cauldron is a guilty pleasure to watch. It's still children fantasy, damnit. There was precious little of it at the time.

Skeksis are sexy. Stupid effiminate manboy and his four armed mentors disrupting their deliciously evil rule.

On liquid crack, Sarina. What's your poison today?

I may or may not have had a crapload of Monster energy drink. And beer with lunch. And by "lunch" I mean the pretzels that I had with the beer. Also, the beer was paid for and provided by my employers. Sometimes my job doesn't suck.

Aaaaanyway, I was really hyper and kinda tipsy earlier, and now I'm sleepy and completely apathetic to all work-related annoyances. Twenty minutes ago someone walked into my office all panicky about some supposedly super important spreadsheets they had lost, and I told them I didn't care. They wouldn't stop talking about it, though, so I said they were filed in accounting storage. Which is a total lie, but the storage room is far away from my office, so I don't have to listen to the yapping anymore. Since then I've been colouring in a Strawberry Shortcake colouring book and singing the theme to Fresh Prince under my breath.

See? Sunshine and patience.

I am like an incandescent ray of sunshine and patience.

On liquid crack, Sarina. What's your poison today?

Yeah, I was gonna ask if all the caffeine yesterday helped, harmed or made no difference. In my case it doesn't help that the weather has been "finally starting to get nice" as all these assholes call it, which means getting hot and sunny. The HVAC at work hasn't been switched from hot to cold so the fan never kicks in as all it could do is make it warmer and the slightly muggy air just sits there as the late afternoon sun beats on the windows and I'm sullenly taking off my cardigan and loosening my tie as I have quiet little fits of twitching as I notice the magazines and newspapers are already messed up again, muttering "bloody hell", "bugger" and "scheisse" or just unintelligibly growling and sputtering in order to remain Edited For Television. People are starting to wear clothes and shoes I don't like too. My current building does have a cool dark corner where the books are returned though. It's a nice refuge when I fear I'm about to be rude.

For four months or so I get to smile beatifically while everyone around me says "I'm cold! I'm cold! I'm cold!". I don't gloat, I just smile to myself and sigh contentedly, but payback's a bitch. Maybe when I'm older I'll get that old man power where they can wear heavy shit all the time and be fine. Maybe you have to already be lanky for that to work though.

And yes, Sarina, those pictures on your blog 'bout made me cry just now.

And yes, Sarina, those pictures on your blog 'bout made me cry just now.

Posted by: Jay at April 2, 2008 5:49 PM

Oh, that snowstorm was two days ago, silly. It's much warmer today. It is currently a balmy 43 degrees Fahrenheit.

Still love Prison Break. It passed "ridiculous" quite a ways back, but it's still awesome, mostly because of the performances. I hate T-Bag so much, but for a bit there, he was the show's only comic relief. And he's a scummy child-molesting murderer.

RE Claire at April 2, 2008 4:31 PM
"Being from Noo Zilland (that's how we locals say it) I am therefore qualified to comment on Outrageous Fortune, and can assure you its brilliant and snort-coffee-out-your-nose funny.
What I don't understand is this: why do you need to remake it? Why can't they just show the original series? Please explain to the foreigner."

The networks want (for the most part) recognizable American stars on their shows so they don't have to explain who the people on the show are. Or maybe they can't get the rebroadcast rights. Or maybe they want all the income from the show so they want to produce it themselves, instead of having to pay someone else to broadcast it. Or all 3. The nets all dream of a show like "Friends," that's relatively inexpensive to produce but stays on a long time and makes tons of money, esp. in syndication.

I could barely get through Children of Men without Michael Caine and especially Julianne Moore (oh god, that sudden unexpected death still haunts me!) but unless Clive Owen is shown to be somehow revived after losing all that blood, is there any point to doing a sequel, much less a series? Cux the little African chick was kinda one-note and so bleeding-heart-liberal dreamish I didn't really care if humanity continued or not by flick's end.

Add me to the list of people who did not get all the love for Children of Men. It was basically just one long chase scene, only not in a good Jason Bourne-type way, and the ending was just hilariously bad.

Is Wire in the Blood worth a first try this late in the game

I don't see why not Cindy. I actaully stared with Season 2 while Netflixing it. By accident, meant for "Touching Evil" Season 2, just got the show's confused (it can happen - British TV, murder, Robson Green)