Tobey Maguire May Be a Psychotic Douche

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Tobey Maguire May Be a Psychotic Douche

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrities Are Better than You | June 12, 2014 | Comments ()


Up today on Vanity Fair is an excerpt from Molly Bloom’s book, Molly’s Game: From Hollywood’s Elite to Wall Street’s Billionaire Boys Club, My High-Stakes Adventure in the World of Underground Poker. It documents her time running a high-stakes poker game for celebrities and wealthy people in the Viper Room, and if the rest of the book is half as interesting as the excerpt, it’s bound to be a fascinating insight into particular celebrities who like to gamble for huge sums of money.

She only uses first names, but some of the celebrities named are obvious: Ben Affleck, Leo DiCaprio, and Tobey Maguire. From the four-page excerpt provided Affleck and DiCaprio seem as you’d expect them to seem: Likable and friendly.

Tobey Maguire, on the other hand, not so much. He seems to be akin to the villain of the novel: A controlling dick who won the most money and left the smallest tips. While it was Molly’s weekly game, Tobey clearly had a lot of control over it. At one point, he brought his $17,000 card-shuffling machine and insisted it be used, but then insisted on charging Molly a $200 rental fee each time it was. He always left the smallest tips, and when he lost, he blew his cool.

One particular scene in the excerpt stands out. It was a very, very high stakes poker game that included Affleck, where the buy-in was $50,000 and the amount of money on the table at one point was $2 million. Maguire, however, was not having a good night, but after knocking out one of the players, Jamie, he decided to assert his power over Molly, who I should mention was a 26-year-old cocktail waitress before she began putting these games together.

“You have to cut Jamie off, you know.”

“I know,” I said, counting Tobey’s chips.

He held a thousand-dollar chip in his hand. He flipped it over a couple times in his fingers.

“This is yours,” he said, holding it out.

“Thanks, Tobey,” I said, reaching my hand out.

He yanked the chip back at the last second.

“If … ” he said. “If you do something to earn these thousand dollars.” His voice was loud enough that some of the guys looked up to see what was happening.

I laughed, trying not to show my nerves.

“What do I want you to do?” he said, as if he were pondering.

The whole table was watching us now.

“I know!” he said. “Get up on that desk and bark like a seal.”

I looked at him. His face was lit up like it was Christmas Eve.

“Bark like a seal who wants a fish,” he said.

I laughed again, stalling, hoping he would play the joke out by himself and leave.

“I’m not kidding. What’s wrong? You’re too rich now? You won’t bark for a thousand dollars? Wowwww … you must be really rich.”

My face was burning. The room was silent.

“C’mon,” he said, holding the chip above my head. “BARK.”

“No,” I said quietly.

“No?” he asked.

“Tobey,” I said, “I’m not going to bark like a seal. Keep your chip.”

My face was on fire. I knew he would be angry, especially because he had now engaged the whole audience, and I wasn’t playing his game. I was embarrassed, but I was also angry. After all I had done to accommodate this guy, I was also shocked. I had made sure I ran every detail of every game by him, changed the stakes for him, structured tournaments around him, memorized every ingredient in every vegan dish in town for him. He had won millions and millions of dollars at my table, and I had catered to his every need along the way—and now he seemed to want to humiliate me.

He kept pushing it, his voice growing louder and louder. The other guys were starting to look uncomfortable.

“No,” I said, again, willing him to drop it.

He gave me an icy look, dropped the chip on the table, and tried to laugh it off, but he was visibly angry.

Wow. What a f**king dick. That sounds exactly like a scene out of a mafia movie, and to anyone that’s ever seen some of Maguire’s more intense roles (Brothers, for instance), you can absolutely picture Maguire’s face. F**king asshole.

And if you want to find out what happens next, read the entire excerpt over on Vanity Fair and buy the book, Molly’s Game: From Hollywood’s Elite to Wall Street’s Billionaire Boys Club, My High-Stakes Adventure in the World of Underground Poker. It’ll be out later this month.

via Katey Rich

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • thewatcher

    May be?

  • Hard Little Machine

    Have you seen Spiderman?

  • manting

    Thats her version of the story, where is his version?

  • Nite_Owl

    Comments are welcome. Jerks will be banned. Then ban your story about Toby the jerk.

  • BlackRabbit

    So, do we have any outside account of this happening, or just an author who wants to make buzz about her book?

  • barcia

    Yes, because we all know that women are lying bitches when it comes to telling about the times men humiliate them in public. *eye roll*

  • Sean Haulman

    Yes, actually. That's 100% correct.

  • BlackRabbit we don't then. If this is true I'll be the first to condemn Tobey, but until we have more than one person's say-so, I'm not going to join the feeding frenzy that seems to be based as much on people's dislike of the actor's work as anything else. And it has NOTHING to do with the gender of the writer-women are just as capable and likely to make something up for fame or publicity as men, and to say otherwise is itself as sexist as the statement you tried to falsely put in my mouth.

  • barcia

    Give me a break. Did I anywhere at all say that women wouldn't make stuff up to get publicity? Talk about putting words in someone's mouth. A little work on reading comprehension maybe?

    The story as she tells it is as gendered as they come: A woman getting harassed in (semi)public by a man who knows, probably from experience, that other men won't stand up for her. I don't know this actor's work or reputation, but I will always side with women and take them at their word--especially about harassment--until I have a concrete reason not to. Trusting women is, sadly, a radical act.

  • Kate

    If she was making stuff up she'd have been much better off basing her lies around Leo or Ben.

    This doesn't seem like a lie, Tobey's had a certain reputation for a long time, it's part of the reason his career died off. This is just the first time we're getting a firsthand acount rather than "I saw Tobey Maquire torturing his poor waitress last night" stuff.

  • BlackRabbit

    When you make something up, plausibility is key. If he has that rep, he'd be the better target. And again, I'm not saying it didn't happen, just that people seem to be leaping to a conclusion far too quickly for my comfort.

  • barcia

    What conclusion is that, exactly? And why shouldn't we believe her story again? Just because she wants to sell books doesn't mean she's lying.

  • BlackRabbit

    Yes, that's exactly what I said. Read it again, k?

  • barcia

    No, thank you.

    Tobey, go back on your meds.

  • BlackRabbit

    Fine by me. Your reading comprehension skills are clearly so lacking that it might take a good half-dozen tries.

  • barcia

    Whatsa matter, your dildo pinching you today?

  • BlackRabbit

    I should mention here that I only meant to respond to you once, but Disqus kept eating my posts so I kept re-writing them.

  • XXxxMacleodxxXX

    should have told him to use that fading spider grip and pull the stick out of his arse

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Is anyone else a little disappointed that no one else stepped in? No one told him to cool it? I thought Leo ran that little click, he couldn't tell Spidey that no one appreciated his shitty little games?

  • dizzylucy

    Yes. I read a longer excerpt that said something like after Tobey left, the other guys were like WTF? and said to her "I'm glad you didn't do it." A pity none of them was decent enough to tell him to knock it off.

  • Parsnip

    Even though he wore one-piece lycra, with that stare (above), I'd cower.

  • Yeah, I thought of that.

  • Bananapanda

    I liked him in Wonder Boys but he still seemed like a cut-rate Wes Bentley.

    Some guys can't handle not being Leo. They're in the entourage but don't have the money, girls or power.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Douchey-Man, Douchey-Man, he plays poker like a Douchey-Man can. He flips his chips, he pounds the table. If he loses a hand he becomes unstable.
    Douchey-Mannnn, eat a bag of seal shit.

  • stella

    I always knew it was right to be afraid of him..

  • VohaulsRevenge

    "Go fuck yourself, Tommy."

  • TheOriginalMRod

    I've always gotten Toby Maguire and Elijah Woods mixed up for some reason... this helps me out a lot... Tobey is the a-hole and Elijah is the Hobbit.

  • I always thought he seemed a little to committed to the emo asshole WTFery from Spider-Man 3. Now it makes a little more sense.

  • VonnegutSlut

    I feel vindicated. I really never knew anything personal about Maguire but he ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way. My family and friends would always needle me about what exactly irked me about him & I never could give a definite answer.

    "It's a completely irrational dislike, I suppose. But that's just how I feel," I'd conclude.

    Victory is now mine. I knew it. Somehow I knew it.

    [gets off shitty, self-congratulatory soapbox]

  • Barker

    So do I. I have always instinctively hated him for some unknown reason. Now I know why.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I love it when my irrational dislike of someone is confirmed (Lance Armstrong too, one more and I get asshole bingo).

    Then I get to be all smug and Raylan-esque:

  • Parsnip

    The trifector of douchery.

  • I spent some time on the set of This Boy's Life and there was a night in a hotel room I won't forget that involved him. It even involved my head being knocked into an endtable.

    Well, that sure sounds more salacious than it was.

    But, let's just say I've never thought positively of him.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    This is possibly the meanest story tease ever. I NEED details!

  • Hahahahahahahahaha.

    I wonder if I should add that it was Leo and Tobey at the same time.

  • ZbornakSyndrome
  • If you're not saying nothing then you are, in fact, saying something. So make with the story.

  • Okay, okay. But it's not as cool if I tell it.

    I was a set sitter/guardian for on of the kids on the movie and one night we were all hanging out in Leo's room up in lovely, downtown, Concrete, Washington.

    Leo and Tobey were messing around and roughhousing and the next thing I know, one of them is on top of the other one choking him. (For the life of me, I can't remember who was topping)

    Anyway, I see choking and I see the look on their faces and I'm like WTF and other people n the room are seriously freaked and I grab whoever was on top and try to pull them off because now I'm freaked out.

    As I'm pulling on his arm, he let's go (totally on his own) and momentum sent me flying back into the night table where I promptly conked my head had the wind knocked out of me.

    The next thing I know, the two of them are laughing hysterically, looking at me and everyone in the room with "We totally fooled you. Hahahaha".

    The look on their faces, and the asshole nature of that and just the idea that they scared everyone in the room and thought it was hysterical. Plus, well, me getting hurt,

    Yeah, left a bad impression.

    Tell the truth, your imagined version was better ;-)

  • In my imagined version, Russell Crowe came in and beat the shit out of both of them because he was trying to sleep in the next room, so yeah, it was better.

  • I like your version better. Maybe I'll add that.

    Amusingly, director Michael Caton Jones hit on me that same night. ::grin:: My life was exciting once upon a time.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I just assume he wanted her to sing 'Kiss from a Rose' very loudly, but I think it's pretty offensive to assume Seal only does that for fish.

  • anikitty

    That book title is really long.

  • Mrcreosote

    I've seen poker players do this to dealers for a lot less. High stakes games, lots of pressure, long hours, drinking and a feeling of invincibility are not a good combination. That being said, perhaps she should have offered him a more comfortable booster seat.

  • barcia

    So poker players = assholes then?

  • Repo

    I realize it's the context the story is told in and they most likely weren't present, but I kept waiting for the part of the story where Leo or Ben intervene and shut him the fuck up.

  • VonnegutSlut

    The booster seat comment made me spit coffee on my keyboard.

    It was worth it.

  • His name is Tobey, but he sure acted like a.....


    Cunta Kinte


  • Repo

    Ugh. I know this is your go to joke but this one is a big miss.

  • Kala

    Aw, man. *Head Meets Desk*

  • Zeus McGuinnes

    This seems like a made up level of asshole that doesn't really exist in real life. Its like Joffrey-level dickish.

  • FrayedMachine

    Seriously. No one let this guy near a crossbow.

  • juzzlehizzle

    Shit, imagine if she'd told him to go home and get his fuckin shinebox

  • zeke_the_pig

    Huh. Who knew that he actually wasn't acting at all in Spidey 3?
    Hey, Tobey, you know Elijah Wood's character in Sin City wasn't meant to be a good role model, right?

  • TK

    It's that fucking alien symbiote, man. First emo-Spidey and douche-dancing, now this.

  • Benjamin Rennells

    Sweet Jesus, now I know why emo-Spidey was my legitimate favorite part of the entire original trilogy: It's the only time Maguire was playing true to himself!

  • Jim

    I've always thought he came across as a pot of crazy you didn't wanna stir too vigorously.

  • This article gave me douchechills.

  • kirbyjay

    Never, never, never, never saw his appeal. Squeaky little bug-eyed douche. I HATE people who try to humiliate "the help" cuz they can.

  • Lee

    I hope the lil shit's career tanks to the depths of anonymity. Never saw the appeal either.

  • Bert_McGurt

    That's some Joffrey sh*t right there.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Well, at least there was no crossbow.
    Though I may be speaking too soon, this is only an excerpt.

  • Assholes in a high stakes card game? Someone fetch my pearls!

  • Uriah_Creep

    You should wear your pearls at all times to facilitate clutching.

  • JustOP

    The thing that struck me with this - he first asks her to bark like a seal. He then goes on to clarify, bark like a seal who wants a fish.

    What's the difference?

  • Zirza

    I don't know about her, but if he asked me to "bark like a seal who's about to rip my nuts off and hurl them at a pelt hunter" I'd be much more likely to comply, but then I'm a sucker for literalism.

  • stella


  • logan

    He's an actor. He was giving her the characters motivation.


  • Jericho Smith

    There you go. The answer's in the excerpt. He's a vegan. His repressed carnivore turns him into an asshole.

  • VohaulsRevenge

    Ditto. I've met one vegan in a thousand who wasn't a self-righteous prick.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You've met a thousand vegans? Where do you live?

  • emmalita

    If he's spent any time in Austin, he's underestimating.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I was gonna guess Portland.

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