film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web / politics / netflix / advertise / cbr

These People Are Not Who You Think They Are: Your Celebrity Reality Check

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | March 14, 2013 | Comments ()

Guys, I'm starting to think my postcard wasn't handwritten exclusively to only me because he loved me and we were going to get married. On a cruise ship.

It's easy to laugh at the misguided hopes of pre-teen girls, but they are not alone in this. Celebrities are basically adult Santa Claus. We all have this image of the famous people we enjoy, and when that is disrupted, it is disappointing. Hell, even The Bloggess had to accept that maybe Nathan Fillion wasn't our universal BFF. Yes, I'm certain there are famous people who are genuinely good, but, ultimately, at a certain level of fame and management involvement, celebrities are pure persona, a conjecture based on meticulous image control and media manipulation.

Take Ben Affleck. Leading up to the Oscars, we saw him out with his wife and children, smiling happily on a daily or weekly basis. The week following his Oscar win, suddenly, it's photographer kicking time.


I'm all for a good photographer kicking, but it really does suck just a little to have it confirmed, that all those smiling photos of their kids were totally fine when there was an award on the line.

It's the same with all of them. Listen to every interview where a famous person laments lost privacy, then look at every smiling, perfectly coiffed image sold to People Magazine, a magazine basically dominated by celebrities and their management teams. It's not all bullshit, but it rings hollow.

And, ultimately, I feel terrible for the ones who actually don't want it, who don't court it, who just live their lives and don't feed the paparazzi machine. But if you think for a second that anyone just happens to be hanging out at a Hobby Lobby when Kim Kardashian comes in and just happens to get her photo, then I have a pregnancy conspiracy to sell you.

And that's where we are now. Where pregnancies are used to create a sense of humanity in an otherwise soulless pair of famewhores, where babies are pageanted like Honey Boo Boo to win awards and where PR pros have to pretend that a 23-year-old singer actually sits there and reads thousands of sparkly notebook pages herself.

They're not monsters. They're people.

They're just probably not the people they've been painted to be.

Our 10 Favorite Performances Of The SXSW Film Festival | Hey Whipple, Squeeze This! by Luke Sullivan

Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments

A Complete List of Fall TV Premiere Dates

Recent News

Recent Reviews

Privacy Policy